رازهایی درباره زنان که هر مردی باید آنها را بداند

by Barbara De Angelis

توضیحات روانشناسی درباره طبیعت رفتاری و احساسی زنان

Genres: Psychology, Self Help, Nonfiction, Relationships, Personal Development, Marriage, Audiobook

690 pages, جلد کاغذی

First published January 1, 2001

About the author

Barbara De Angelis Ph.D. is one of the most influential teachers of our time in the field of relationships and personal growth. For the past twenty-five years, she has reached tens of millions of people throughout the world with her positive messages about love, happiness and the search for meaning in our lives. As a best-selling author, popular television personality and sought after motivational speaker, Barbara has been a pioneer in the field of personal transformation as one of the first people to popularize the idea of self-help in the 1980's, and as one of the first nationally recognized female motivational teachers on television.

Reviews

[فؤاد · Rating 1 out of 5]

توصيه ى دوستانه از طرف يك خواننده ى عادى به نويسنده ی محترم:
با سلام
لطفاً هر وقت مى خواهيد به كسى پندى بدهيد، برايش كمى احترام هم قائل شويد. درست ترين اندرز دنيا را هم با توهين و تحقير بدهيد، جز دل چركين كردن مخاطب فايده اى ندارد. بنا بر اين، وقتى مى خواهيد به مردان بگوييد كه به زنان احترام بگذارند، در همين اندرز به مردان احترام بگذاريد. و وقتى مى خواهيد به زنان بگوييد با تندى از مردان عيبجويى نكنند، در همين اندرز با تندى از زنان عيبجويى نكنيد.
با تشكر

[Mahdi Lotfi · Rating 3 out of 5]

رازهایی درباره‌ی زنان به شما نشان خواهد داد که در واقع دلایل هوشمندانه و ظریفی برای تمامی احساسات، افکار و رفتار‌های ما زن‌ها وجود دارند. بی‌دلیل نیست که پنج بار به مردی که دوستش داریم زنگ می‌زنیم، تا بلکه دست آخر، اورا پیدا کنیم. بی دلیل نیست که هرگاه او در خودش فرو می‌رود، ناراحت می‌شویم و سعی داریم بفهمیم چه چیزی او را ناراحت می‌کند.بی دلیل نیست که هرگاه به برنامه‌ریزی‌های ما علاقه‌ای نشان نمی‌دهد، ناراحت می‌شویم. دلایل این حالات این نیست که ما عصبی و ضعیف النفس هستیم یا اضطراب و تشویش داریم. تنها دلیل آن است که ما زن هستیم و انگیزه‌های ما با انگیزه‌های مردها تفاوت دارد.

در این کتاب خواهید آموخت:
سه نیاز پنهان که در بین تمامی زن‌ها مشترک است
هفت افسانه از باورهای مردها نسبت به زنان و دلایل غلط بودن آن‌ها.
چگونه خشم زنان را شعله ور نکنیم.
بیست عامل سرد مزاجی جنسی زن‌ها.
چه چیزی زن‌ها را به لحاظ جنسی تحریک می‌کند.
ده عادت ارتباطی مردها که زن‌ها را عصبی می‌کند.
رازهایی درباره‌ی روابط جنسی که زن‌ها دوست دارند مردها بدانند.
چگونه نبرد قدرت را به همکاری و تشریک مساعی بدل کنیم.
روش‌ها و راهکارهایی برای عشق ورزی هر چه بیشتر.
(چه در داخل بستر و چه در بیرون از آن)

[JJ Khodadadi · Rating 2 out of 5]

یک. کتاب درمورد مواردی هست که معمولا بین مرد و زن متفاوت هست و معمولا بخاطر این تفاوت ها بین مردان و زنان اختلاف ایجاد می کنه
دو. موارد کلی نیستند و اینطور نیست که تمامی چیزهایی که گفته شده در هرزنی وجود داشته باشه. بعضا کاملا هم برعکس هست
سه. اینکه این اختلافات بزرگ رفتاری و فکری دربین دوجنس مخالف وجود دارد کاملا قابل قبول هست، اما چرا همیشه این کتابها از مردان می خواهند که تغییر رفتار دهند هم جای سوال دارد! زندگی مشترک کاملا ارتباطی دوطرفه دارد.
چهار. لحن کتاب جالب نیست حتی در بسیاری موارد با تحقیر مردان نکات رو رعایت میکنه!
پنج. اینکه ریویوهای ثبت شده در گودریدز فقط به زبان انگلیسی و فارسی هستند و خیلی از ریویهای انگلیسی رو هم هموطن هامون نوشتن نکته جالبی هست!

[Reza · Rating 3 out of 5]

مضمونی شبیه کتاب مردان مریخی و زنان ونوسی دارد که سال‌ها قبل خوانده ام. با این که انتقادات و لحن نویسنده نسبت به مردها گاهی تند می‌شود ولی در مجموع کتابی کاربردی است البته برای متاهلین یا افراد در شرف ازدواج

[Kianosh Kalantari · Rating 4 out of 5]

کتاب خوبی بود خیلی از این مطالب اگر از دوران مدرسه آموزش داده بشند آمار طلاق عاطفی هم دیگه سر به آسمان نمیکشد !!!
بعضی از صفحات تکرار مکررات بود ولی کتاب بسیار شیرین و خوبیه حداقل برای جوون ها شاید بزرگتر ها غرورشون اجازه نده این کتاب ها رو بخونند !!

[Tessa · Rating 1 out of 5]

Yeah, I couldn't find myself in all the chit-chat about how women are some love desperate creatures and man are not. I really don't think women are that simple. Couldn't finish this book, way too boring and unappealing.

[Amir Tesla · Rating 2 out of 5]

general must-know ideas are included in this book that makes the book worth being read once. the most unpleasant thing though, is the poorly scientific support for the ideas and so called secrets that are inside the book.

[Shahram Shahryari]

رازهایی دربارهٔ زنان
ترجمه‌ای که من خواندنم از سمیه موحدی‌فرد بود و مطابق معمول این قبیل کتاب‌ها دارای اشکالات متعدد تایپی و ویرایشی.ء
در بین انبوهی از مطالب و مثال‌هایی که به عنوان رازهای زنان در این کتاب آمده، نکات مفیدی دربارهٔ ویژگی‌های روحی زنان می‌توان یافت و از این رو کتاب می‌تواند به شناخت و فهم رفتارها و انتظارات زنان و احتمالاً بهبود روابط خانوادگی کمک کند. اما به نظرم این کتاب اشکالاتی دارد که تأثیربخشی‌اش را کم می‌کند:ء
نویسنده ــ شاید چون خود زن است ــ از موضع راهنما سخن نمی‌گوید، بلکه از جایگاه یک‌طرفِ اختلاف سخن می‌گوید و لحن سخنانش گاه به آنچه در دعواهای زناشویی دیده می‌شود شبیه است.ء
گاهی به نظر می‌رسد نویسنده هر رفتار یا ویژگی زنان را طبیعی و تغییرناپذیر می‌داند ولی در مقابل رفتارها یا ویژگی‌های مردان را غیرطبیعی می‌پندارد و تغییرش را لازم. هیچ‌گاه به زنان توصیه نمی‌کند که رفتاری را ــ هر قدر هم اسباب آزار مرد باشد ــ تغیر دهند یا تعدیل کنند.ء
نهایتاً به نظر من کتاب برای کسی که نه از موضع مخالفت و لجاج آن را بخواند و نه یکسره گوش‌به‌فرمان نویسنده باشد آموزنده است و نکاتی دارد که شاید هیچ جای دیگری پیدا نشود (چرا انکارکنیم؟). باید این‌ها را از لابه‌لای سخنانی دیگر که همه مفید نیستند یافت و گزید.ء

[Hedie094 · Rating 5 out of 5]

این کتاب بسیار بسیار بسیار مفیده .... خوندنش رو به همه دخترها و پسرهایی که توی رابطه هستن توصیه میکنم

[Helia Ashourizadeh · Rating 1 out of 5]

A lot of chit chatting, with a lot more of exaggeration! Also repeating the staff too much, which I think it tended to be more impressive, made reading it too boring. Also, I didn't find the book pleasant for men to read. Me, as a woman, after reading the book, found myself exhausted of knowing women! What about a man? And also it didn't talk about high-ranked women or women with serious jobs or careers, just and ordinary woman, with ordinary expectations. No cover for different personality types, made it hard for me to come along with the suggestions. At the final point, I didn't get a good or positive picture of men. Every chapter, I was wondering that how bad could men be? How hard dealing with men could be?
Finally, I would suggest a very short and tidy summary for whom want to read it, not the whole of it!

[hossein Sh · Rating 3 out of 5]

این کتاب هم مانند سایر کتاب‌های روانشناسی رابطه سعی می کند تفاوت برداشت های حرف های طرفین را برای هم ترجمه کند. اما این کتاب بر خلاف کتاب های دکتر جان گری که خیلی منصفانه نوشته شده‌اند،انگار از زبان یک فمینیست نوشته شده است و تقریباً در هر موضوعی حق را به زنان داده است و خیلی افراطی، مردان را به درک همه کارها و حرفهای زنان، ترغیب می‌کند. و هر گونه حرکت زنان را (مانند حسادتها، عصبانیت، قهر، و هر رفتار دیگر را) به دلیل عشق زیاد آنها به مرد تعبیر میکند!

[Azhin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I realy enjoy reading this book.
good for those who love their female mates and want to behave them in a perfect way!
برای همه کسانی که میخوان برخورد درست با خانم مورد علاقه شون رو بدونن ، تا که زندگشون متحول بشه ،عالیه!

[Litborne · Rating 4 out of 5]

It certainly was amazing although I'm a woman myself. I was never aware of my own sectrets, with which my life could change dramatically!

[Zendegy]

be hameye aghayoon tosiye mikonam bekhoonan...

[Farzad Yaghoobi · Rating 3 out of 5]

ترجمه ای که خوندم یه مقدار خلاصه شده بود با این وجود زیاد یاد گرفتم.

[Pstghoreishi]

داشتن قلبی مهربان و آکنده از عشق یک نعمت است نه یک مصیبت، عشق ورزیدن با تمام وجود و از خودگذشتگی یک هدیه است نه یک اشتباه، عشق را در اولویت قرار دادن نمودی از یک هویت زنانه است نه یک نقطه ضعف.

[Mohammad Naseri · Rating 4 out of 5]

رازهایی درباره زنان که هر مردی باید آنها را بداند کتاب خوبی بود برای اینکه بتوان بهتر جنس مخالف خودمان را بشناسیم هر چند بخش هایی از کتاب درباره هر دو (هم زن و هم مرد) صدق می کرد. اگر دوست دارین که ارتباط بهتری با همسر و یا نامزد یا حتی خواهر خودتون داشته باشید کتاب خوبی هست که با خلق و خوی زنان بهتر آشنا شوید. هر چند این کتاب فقط برای آقایون نوشته نشده بلکه خود بانوان نیز باید این کتاب را حداقل یک بار مطالعه کنند.

[Farhang Rezaei · Rating 3 out of 5]

It took almost three years for me to finish it. I think there was an inner psychological resistance in me to read it.

[Ahmadreza Rivandi · Rating 3 out of 5]

پیشنهاد میکنم به جای این کتاب، کتاب های خودشناسی و روانشناسی مطالعه کنین. متنی بسیار کسالت بار و سطح پایین داره. یک موضوع رو اینقد توضیح میده که کم کم از مطلب عبور میکنید.

[Tyler Grant · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this up on impulse last summer. It has been in print for 10 years so I figured it had some lasting value and when browsing through it seemed to have valuable advice.

Basically it just spells on each page in large letters: YOU ARE AN IDIOT. For 496 pages.

Just kidding. The author is a marital therapist and worked with many, many couples. Probably the main theme of the book can be condensed down to communication. Women need to communicate. Take care of their feelings, don't dismiss or make light of how they feel. When they need to communicate, make sure it happens. Angelis is good at pointing out why women act like they do, which is generally because they want to improve the relationship or perceive a danger to the relationship, and communicating will provide the benefits to the relationship the women is trying to bring. It may seem like a cliche to say communication is the answer to most problems, but that's why it's a cliche.

The organization of the book into lists and convenient categories is super helpful. Part 1: What Women What Men to Know About Us: Women put love first, Women are creators, Women have a sacred relationship with time, Women need to feel safe, Women need to feel connected, Women need to feel valued, Seven myths men believe about women and why they are absolutely wrong. Part 2: How to avoid turning a perfectly sane woman into a raving maniac, How to be the perfect lover outside the bedroom, Five secrets about how women communicate, The top ten male communication habits that drive women crazy, What women hate to hear men say and what women love to hear men say. Part 3: What Women Want Men to Know About Sex: Sexual secrets about women, Top 20 turn offs, Top 20 turn ons.

In a sex-obsessed culture and hook-up culture, Angelis focus on creating deep, emotionally intimate relationships is needed more than ever. Maybe it's because men don't take care of their significant others emotionally that so many relationships fail these days. Women have to do their part and I'm sure books can be written on what women do wrong (Angelis has written one called What Men Want Women to Know) but I am focusing here on what men can do. The effort a man puts into a relationship in the ways Angelis talks about - "learning how to feed your partners heart is one of the most important skills you can master in a relationship" - reaps rewards 10-100 fold. So men shouldn't complain about doing the little things that mean so much to women. It's easy for men to fail to understand that some things are very important to a women, because they aren't necessarily as important to us. But if you dismiss that, or fail to take care of your partners feelings, love wilts and resentment festers.

Finally, this book is about love, not sex. Angelis puts sex in its proper context as inseparable from love, particularly for women. Men have a naturally different take on sex, but if they understand a women's perspective on sex, they will have a much more satisfying marriage and sex life. Any other sex is just a relationship dead before it has even started. Men, "Bridle your passions, that ye may be filled with love."

Maybe there's nothing in this book I would never have learned if I listened closely to significant others, but it helps to get a jump start.

[Chrischris]

It probably has some value for the average corporate couple and teenagers but not for the spiritually mature crowd. Even though she borrows some vocabulary from popular spiritual texts it wont be of much help to her target audience aside from making the author seem enlightened and more intelligent than the readers. Its very annoying to hear her constantly refer to the male listeners as "guys". If your a "guy" than this would suit you. More like the "guy" who met his mate a bar, or similar venue, got physically hooked onto each other, spent no time befriending one another, or any time learning about themselves to know what they wanted, then found themselves with a trophy wife or sexual all star who they couldn't carry on an intimately personal conversation with and so they can't stand each other after the stage curtains inevitably come down on the actors while the shows in progress due to the incredible amount of energy required to keep this facade up, so they're left believing that a relationship requires "work" to work out. Terribly incorrect. A relationship only requires "Love". If its not their then the reason it feels like work is because the heart is trying to run away or the brain is trying to persuade the heart into "feeling" the way it 'should'. Forcing a gear to go in reverse of its designed function 'is' hard work. Its also a great way to grind it down and burn it out. Then what, time to write more and more scripts to keep the act up each day. If a person feels compelled to stay even though they don't feel loved than they might want to consider doing some self enrichment, some self counseling with focus on co-dependency and how to become emotionally independent before getting involved with a partner. A relationship should not be managed like a corporation (unless thats what both of you prefer)

Only a fifth of the way thru so far so we will see how it plays out. I suppose I will finish it to see if there is anything of value in here.

This book should not be the first or only book a person reads for help with their relationship. Yes there are lessons to be extracted from here but DO seek out more.

[Duc · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've been reading and reading books but no body addresses this problem of the Silent Treatment that women sometimes give us.
'What women want men to know' is a book by Babara De Angelis seems to say that the problem is to prevent the silent treatment.
I think it is a very good practical book. She mentions the problem of Time. How men and women perceive time differently. Women's nature is to be creative not controlling. Men interpret these as controlling. Women think about their love ones 24/7, men 7/24 if that...lol.
I wish i read it sooner. the author has a devoted following. She is the angel of love that the universe has sent to give us sage advice for those who are open to receive the message before it's too late. The book is good for those who are in a relationship or will be going into the relationship in the near future. Also it's a book for men who have sister or mother, so for every men and also women too.
Anam Cara is also a very good book.

[Wes Larson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Momen are no longer quite so mysterious. Complex, yes. Mysterious, no.

This book has helped me to understand a lot of the "incomprehensible" things that my first wife said and did. And I now understand why she reacted to some of my behaviors the way she did.
It also gives me a basis for understanding my current wife. It's amazing how much more I can understand her behaviors because of the information in this book.

The author repeatedly states that not all of the information applies to all women, bit enough of it applies to the women I've known that I heartily recommended this book to men trying to understand why women behave the way they do.

[Scott · Rating 4 out of 5]

Every man who wants a good relationship should read this. It is an easy read that is approachable and it spells out what men and women should do to be mindful of each others needs. My only criticism is how repetitive it was, but maybe that is the best way to reinforce good relationship behavior for men. Although every aspect of describing women does not always apply (because every woman is different), it does give a general good sense of their needs and wants. I will try to remember the three A's taught - Attention, Appreciation and Affection - in my relationships. I feel that the lessons taught also apply to interacting with all women.

[Haley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really liked this book. I agreed with all of it- of how you feel, how guys make us feel, what it means when we act this way, the different types of guys, how you wish he’d act, how we become as the result of his behavior, etc. I really wish guys would actually read this, because then they could learn a lot about women and how their behavior affects us, how he can be more attentive, loving, support. How he should behave when talking to us, etc. But guys don’t care much about reading relationship books, even though they’d have much better relationships if they did. And they’d understand women and how to treat us.

[Komi · Rating 4 out of 5]

And so far, the book has taught me the following: women want men to be emotionally available. When you ask, what's on our minds, etc. It isn't to control us. You want us to do things without asking like cooking, cleaning or taking out the trash. You want us to ask for input from yall. You want us to try to understand what's going on in your life kind of like how your girlfriends understand you. When you ask where are we, it isn't to spy on us. Its just make sure we're okay 👌 😌

[Mahdi · Rating 2 out of 5]

دو ستاره فقط به خاطر اینکه بعضی جاهاش اطلاعات خوبی میده وگرنه حالم از نگاه از بالا، خود بزرگ بین و تحقیر آمیز باربارا دی آنجلس نسبت به مردان در تمام این کتاب به هم خورد
من نمی‌فهمم چطور کسی که خودش ۵ تا ازدواج ناموفق داشته تبدیل میشه به یکی از پرفروش ترین نویسنده‌ها در مورد راهنمای روابط زن و مرد در جهان!
اولین و آخرین کتابی بود که ازش خوندم

[Steven Buster · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a man, after you read this book, you will never view women the same again. Now, I have a better understanding of how women see the world the way they do and why they approach relationships from that perspective. This book not only helps men better understand women, but it also helps women better understand themselves.

[Kimball · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked how this book was written for the intent that both genders can learn and apply the teachings in it. The author also has an entertaining voice. I read this while working on an easy project for the City.

[محمدرضا ملایی · Rating 2 out of 5]

به اون هایی که می خوای برای روابط زناشویی سرمایه گذاری کنن توصیه می کنم , ایرادش اینه که از دیدگاه اومانیستی نوشته شده