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My James: The Heartrending Story of James Bulger by His Father
A powerful, heartfelt and moving account of his son's murder and his fight for justice by Ralph Bulger
James Bulger was just a few weeks shy of his third birthday when, on 12 February 1993, he wandered away from his mum Denise in a shopping mall in Bootle. Grainy images from a security camera showed him trustingly holding the hand of ten-year-old Jon Venables as they walked away. Venables and his friend Robert Thompson murdered James, in a crime that shocked the world.
In this haunting book, James' father Ralph describes how his world fell apart in the days that followed. In his darkest hours he drank to numb the pain, and the stress tore his marriage apart. He tells how he learned to cope with his grief, but the sorrow of James' death has never left him. He discusses the long legal battle to see justice for his son, as he tried to prevent his killers being released early, and his continuing fight to see them behind bars where they can't hurt anyone else. Above all, he pays tribute to his son, an adorable, cheeky boy whose bright smile brought joy to his family's lives.
James Bulger was just a few weeks shy of his third birthday when, on 12 February 1993, he wandered away from his mum Denise in a shopping mall in Bootle. Grainy images from a security camera showed him trustingly holding the hand of ten-year-old Jon Venables as they walked away. Venables and his friend Robert Thompson murdered James, in a crime that shocked the world.
In this haunting book, James' father Ralph describes how his world fell apart in the days that followed. In his darkest hours he drank to numb the pain, and the stress tore his marriage apart. He tells how he learned to cope with his grief, but the sorrow of James' death has never left him. He discusses the long legal battle to see justice for his son, as he tried to prevent his killers being released early, and his continuing fight to see them behind bars where they can't hurt anyone else. Above all, he pays tribute to his son, an adorable, cheeky boy whose bright smile brought joy to his family's lives.
323 pages, Hardcover
First published February 1, 2013
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1520 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 211 reviews
March 2, 2013
I wish the words I am going to write could do this book justice but they won't. It was one of the most difficult books I have ever read, but also one of the most inspiring. And any difficulties I had reading this or however upset it made me, that doesn't come close to how it must have felt to Ralph to have to relive the past 20 years all over again for this book. I hope it helped him writing this book.
I was two months younger than James Bulger when he was murdered and my mum used to take me shopping to the very same centre where he was taken from. His resting place is also in the same cemetery as my grandad and so even though I am too young to remember the case, I have grown up hearing about it and I always remember seeing this big beautiful resting place and being shocked that it was for a boy who would be the same age as me.
This book is not an easy read. The chapters surrounding the disappearance and subsequent discovery of James were especially hard to read and at times I had to put the book down because I was actually crying, it is a horrific story and it is impossible to imagine how Ralph, Denise and their family and friends felt at that time. Reading about the moment when Ralph found out his son was dead was just awful. It is incomprehensible how two children could do this to another child. I would reccommend not reading this book before bed as I struggled to sleep with all the thoughts and images in my mind. I know people have theories that perhaps it was their upbringing that made them kill, or the fact that they watched films such as Child's Play 3 but I firmly believe that Thompson and Venables were born evil. There are many people with bad upbringings who go on to live fantastic lives, and there are people from loving homes who go on to become evil people. These two vile individuals were born evil. Reading about what they did was just horrific.
Ralph speaks with searing honesty in this book along with his brother Jimmy who had to identify James's body. How awful that must be for somebody to have to do. Thompson and Venables didn't just kill somebody, they destroyed so many lives. Ralph, Denise, their family, and also the people that saw James with Thompson and Venables but did nothing about it. And why would they have done? Ralph himself assumed that James was safe when he saw him on the CCTV with two older boys. Nobody could have guessed what was to happen.
But this book does have positive moments as well. Telling how Ralph and Denise have tried to move forward with their life but never ever forgetting their son, or daughter who they also lost. James Bulger is a child who will never be forgotten, by his parents and family or by anybody who was affected by the story at the time or anyone who has read about it since. Ralph speaks about James, and his other children with such love and it makes you wonder just want kind of life this happy and loving child could have had. It certainly makes me evaluate my own life as I haven't really achieved what I know I could achieve and at the same age as James would be now I hate to think of myself as not fulfilling my potential when he never had the chance.
Ralph speaks about how he blames himself and how at times he struggles to move on with his life. I really hope this book helps him to do that. James sounded like such a fantastic little boy and for the three years he was alive he gave his mum and dad some amazing memories which Ralph shares with us in this book. It's hard to imagine a God in the world we live in but hopefully Ralph will one day be reunited with his son and find the peace and happiness that he deserves. Himself and Denise are remarkable people who continue to fight for justice. The book was a harrowing and difficult read but one that I wholeheartedly reccommend to everybody.
I was two months younger than James Bulger when he was murdered and my mum used to take me shopping to the very same centre where he was taken from. His resting place is also in the same cemetery as my grandad and so even though I am too young to remember the case, I have grown up hearing about it and I always remember seeing this big beautiful resting place and being shocked that it was for a boy who would be the same age as me.
This book is not an easy read. The chapters surrounding the disappearance and subsequent discovery of James were especially hard to read and at times I had to put the book down because I was actually crying, it is a horrific story and it is impossible to imagine how Ralph, Denise and their family and friends felt at that time. Reading about the moment when Ralph found out his son was dead was just awful. It is incomprehensible how two children could do this to another child. I would reccommend not reading this book before bed as I struggled to sleep with all the thoughts and images in my mind. I know people have theories that perhaps it was their upbringing that made them kill, or the fact that they watched films such as Child's Play 3 but I firmly believe that Thompson and Venables were born evil. There are many people with bad upbringings who go on to live fantastic lives, and there are people from loving homes who go on to become evil people. These two vile individuals were born evil. Reading about what they did was just horrific.
Ralph speaks with searing honesty in this book along with his brother Jimmy who had to identify James's body. How awful that must be for somebody to have to do. Thompson and Venables didn't just kill somebody, they destroyed so many lives. Ralph, Denise, their family, and also the people that saw James with Thompson and Venables but did nothing about it. And why would they have done? Ralph himself assumed that James was safe when he saw him on the CCTV with two older boys. Nobody could have guessed what was to happen.
But this book does have positive moments as well. Telling how Ralph and Denise have tried to move forward with their life but never ever forgetting their son, or daughter who they also lost. James Bulger is a child who will never be forgotten, by his parents and family or by anybody who was affected by the story at the time or anyone who has read about it since. Ralph speaks about James, and his other children with such love and it makes you wonder just want kind of life this happy and loving child could have had. It certainly makes me evaluate my own life as I haven't really achieved what I know I could achieve and at the same age as James would be now I hate to think of myself as not fulfilling my potential when he never had the chance.
Ralph speaks about how he blames himself and how at times he struggles to move on with his life. I really hope this book helps him to do that. James sounded like such a fantastic little boy and for the three years he was alive he gave his mum and dad some amazing memories which Ralph shares with us in this book. It's hard to imagine a God in the world we live in but hopefully Ralph will one day be reunited with his son and find the peace and happiness that he deserves. Himself and Denise are remarkable people who continue to fight for justice. The book was a harrowing and difficult read but one that I wholeheartedly reccommend to everybody.
May 18, 2018
Many of us remember the gruesome murder of 2-year old James Bulger ... inflicted by two 10-year-old boys. His murder devastated not only his parents, but his extended family. James' father has written this book for many reasons, but especially to share with all of us just what a special little boy James was, and how much he meant to him.
Ralph also talks about the numerous legal struggles that he, and other family members, have endured as they desperately tried to see justice done for their little boy. Needless to say, this crime rocked the people of England, and they rallied behind the Bulgers. Unfortunately, I don't believe the same can be said for the justice system.
I read a lot of true crime, but this one ... it really, really sickened me. As a parent, I can't even begin to imagine what the Bulgers went through. Ralph pours out his heart in this book, and in doing so, has honoured precious little James.
4 Stars = It touched my heart, and/or gave me much food for thought.
Ralph also talks about the numerous legal struggles that he, and other family members, have endured as they desperately tried to see justice done for their little boy. Needless to say, this crime rocked the people of England, and they rallied behind the Bulgers. Unfortunately, I don't believe the same can be said for the justice system.
I read a lot of true crime, but this one ... it really, really sickened me. As a parent, I can't even begin to imagine what the Bulgers went through. Ralph pours out his heart in this book, and in doing so, has honoured precious little James.
4 Stars = It touched my heart, and/or gave me much food for thought.
May 28, 2013
I've read "EVERY MOTHER'S NIGHTMARE: The Killing of James Bulger", by Mark Thomas. I said this in my review of that book: "Written in 1993, soon after the murder trial of the two ten-year old killers of young Jamie Bulger, this record is sensitive, factual, compassionate and objective." It's also told mainly from Denise Bulger's point of view.
When I saw MY JAMES, written by his father Ralph twenty years after the crime, I bought it to gain another perspective of this horrific crime. I expected to feel much as I had when reading Every Mother's Nightmare: a deep compassion for James and his family, and a horrified shock at the nature of the crime.
Well! Reading this book takes one far beyond compassion. With its easy and accessible style, this is more a written "confession" then it is a biography of young James. The depth of emotion that has poured out of Ralph Bulger's soul had a seismic effect on me: I could not read more than a few pages at a time, which is why it took me so long to read it. Even then, sometimes I could hardly see the pages, I was crying so hard at the level of emotional suffering woven into these words.
MY JAMES can be informally divided into four sections: life with the happy toddler James; his abduction, murder and trial; the release of the two killers; and the return to prison of the one killer for Category Four child pornography.
This book is a cry of pain from a father who has stared into the gruesome face of pure evil and,even worse, has been betrayed by the judicial system that should have eradicated that evil without compunction. As Ralph says, "It was always about Thompson and Venables - their treatment, their recovery, their progress, their education and their human rights. I think that, morally speaking, they gave up their human rights the day they battered and murdered my son."
One has to wonder why the rights of the horrifically tortured victim, James Bulger, were and are considered of less importance than the rights of two people who, when they were mere children, consciously and deliberately chose to do evil when they abducted James on that fateful day with the intent to kill. And still they show no remorse for their crime.
Although Ralph and his family's personal and enduring emotional pain forms the very core of this book, the most powerful impact of this story is that it forces one to address one's deepest beliefs about good versus evil, law versus justice, and anger versus forgiveness.
If this book will linger in my soul for ages, how much worse must it be for the family who actually had to experience this? I can only wish them well as they struggle towards some sort of healing, and hope that they find more joy and less sorrow in the coming years.
When I saw MY JAMES, written by his father Ralph twenty years after the crime, I bought it to gain another perspective of this horrific crime. I expected to feel much as I had when reading Every Mother's Nightmare: a deep compassion for James and his family, and a horrified shock at the nature of the crime.
Well! Reading this book takes one far beyond compassion. With its easy and accessible style, this is more a written "confession" then it is a biography of young James. The depth of emotion that has poured out of Ralph Bulger's soul had a seismic effect on me: I could not read more than a few pages at a time, which is why it took me so long to read it. Even then, sometimes I could hardly see the pages, I was crying so hard at the level of emotional suffering woven into these words.
MY JAMES can be informally divided into four sections: life with the happy toddler James; his abduction, murder and trial; the release of the two killers; and the return to prison of the one killer for Category Four child pornography.
This book is a cry of pain from a father who has stared into the gruesome face of pure evil and,even worse, has been betrayed by the judicial system that should have eradicated that evil without compunction. As Ralph says, "It was always about Thompson and Venables - their treatment, their recovery, their progress, their education and their human rights. I think that, morally speaking, they gave up their human rights the day they battered and murdered my son."
One has to wonder why the rights of the horrifically tortured victim, James Bulger, were and are considered of less importance than the rights of two people who, when they were mere children, consciously and deliberately chose to do evil when they abducted James on that fateful day with the intent to kill. And still they show no remorse for their crime.
Although Ralph and his family's personal and enduring emotional pain forms the very core of this book, the most powerful impact of this story is that it forces one to address one's deepest beliefs about good versus evil, law versus justice, and anger versus forgiveness.
If this book will linger in my soul for ages, how much worse must it be for the family who actually had to experience this? I can only wish them well as they struggle towards some sort of healing, and hope that they find more joy and less sorrow in the coming years.
July 19, 2013
This was a very hard and emotional read.
I found myself having to put this book down a few times as it was so heartbreaking.
Brilliantly written story by the father of a beautiful little boy James.
James was stoned, sexually assaulted and beaten to death then placed across a railway line.
This was all carried out by two ten year old boys.
To think such young boys were capable of something this horrific is so frightening.
I found myself having to put this book down a few times as it was so heartbreaking.
Brilliantly written story by the father of a beautiful little boy James.
James was stoned, sexually assaulted and beaten to death then placed across a railway line.
This was all carried out by two ten year old boys.
To think such young boys were capable of something this horrific is so frightening.
September 8, 2014
I wasn't sure what to think when I started to read this. I know many have said to me that its a book I should read.
everyone remembers the headline news of this tragic story. I thought I knew, two young lads abducting a toddler and leaving him dead. I just couldn't comprehend it, too horrific for words. like the entire nation I watched, I read, I followed the up dates.
reading James fathers story has opened my eyes, in a bad way. I'd known of how flawed our judicial system was first hand and how it protects the law breaker and not the victim. what I didn't realise until reading this book, was to what a huge extent it goes to with hardly any thought to the victim.
apart from this, what stood out to me was the dads raw emotions throughout his writing this book. The harm and domino effect it has had on this man, ALL of the family. but I have to say the brother that went to identify little James body, he was a hero, a loving self sacrificing brother trying to protect. in turn, this had a detrimental effect on him as well as his wife and family.
what came to the fore time and time again for me was, THEY NEEDED SUPPORT, proper emotional support to help them with this terrible crime and later, the horrendous way in which James died. I must say, this was hidden from the public very well.
this man has been suffering far too long. a parent never forgets the death of a child, but this is not just a death, its not even a murder, its also abuse physical and sexual to a little innocent toddler by kids, two boys of 10 years old. that has to be so difficult to come to terms with. I can't imagine for one moment what it feels like.
its still ongoing for James dad like it was yesterday. he had to forgive himself. There was nothing else he could have done differently. James would have wanted him to move on.
Another thing I get from reading this is, what a nice man he is. he doesn't deserve to suffer anymore, James is at rest and he needs to be too.
everyone remembers the headline news of this tragic story. I thought I knew, two young lads abducting a toddler and leaving him dead. I just couldn't comprehend it, too horrific for words. like the entire nation I watched, I read, I followed the up dates.
reading James fathers story has opened my eyes, in a bad way. I'd known of how flawed our judicial system was first hand and how it protects the law breaker and not the victim. what I didn't realise until reading this book, was to what a huge extent it goes to with hardly any thought to the victim.
apart from this, what stood out to me was the dads raw emotions throughout his writing this book. The harm and domino effect it has had on this man, ALL of the family. but I have to say the brother that went to identify little James body, he was a hero, a loving self sacrificing brother trying to protect. in turn, this had a detrimental effect on him as well as his wife and family.
what came to the fore time and time again for me was, THEY NEEDED SUPPORT, proper emotional support to help them with this terrible crime and later, the horrendous way in which James died. I must say, this was hidden from the public very well.
this man has been suffering far too long. a parent never forgets the death of a child, but this is not just a death, its not even a murder, its also abuse physical and sexual to a little innocent toddler by kids, two boys of 10 years old. that has to be so difficult to come to terms with. I can't imagine for one moment what it feels like.
its still ongoing for James dad like it was yesterday. he had to forgive himself. There was nothing else he could have done differently. James would have wanted him to move on.
Another thing I get from reading this is, what a nice man he is. he doesn't deserve to suffer anymore, James is at rest and he needs to be too.
June 10, 2013
This book is beautifully written by the father of a two year old boy, James who was stoned, sexually assaulted and beaten to death before being placed across a railway line by ten year old boys. The chapters surrounding the disappearance and discovery of James were hard to read afterall he would be the same age as me today and many times, I have to put the book down and composed myself so it was impossible to imagine how the parents felt at that time. Having studied law, I was taken aback on how the justice system has failed to provide justice to Baby James having learnt that they were only sentenced to 8 years in detention (Child offenders). The law had continually let James down, and his murder hardly ever came into the equation any more. It was always about Thompson and Venebles- their education, their recovery and their human rights. The fact that the boys were given new identity to start afresh to protect them from being killed/harassed by the public sets dangerous precedent for other criminal cases. Imagine them walking around the city freely and the danger the law has exposed our children with. Above all, this book has made me realize that a man, a father, could feel just as devastated as a mother. Times are changing as previously in times of mourning, our society has always focused on a mother’s grief and her loss while dad stayed in the background, but this is no longer the case. I have learnt that a father’s love is just as deep and binding as mother’s. It has been 20 years since the brutal murder but the battle to bring justice by the father is still ongoing and Ralph mentioned that there is not a day goes by when he didn’t think of James. As far as we were concerned, you don't take tablets for grief. You just have to find a way to get over it (Quote Ralph).
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December 31, 2023I normally star rate but do not review books, here I do the opposite because it does not seem right to rate this book on the usual criteria, though it has to be said it is a very well-written book.
It is a true-life account written by a man grieving for the death of his baby son who was brutally murdered and perversely tortured by two children. As such the book is obviously harrowing both because of the inhumane pain inflicted on an innocent infant but also because of the pain of a father swallowed up in grief and sorrow.
It is a book that may need to be put down at times, but I think in choosing to read, it needs to be picked up again and completed out of respect and solidarity to Ralph Bulger as the loss, pain and memories are imprinted upon his life and he does not have the luxury of closing the book on that.
It is a true-life account written by a man grieving for the death of his baby son who was brutally murdered and perversely tortured by two children. As such the book is obviously harrowing both because of the inhumane pain inflicted on an innocent infant but also because of the pain of a father swallowed up in grief and sorrow.
It is a book that may need to be put down at times, but I think in choosing to read, it needs to be picked up again and completed out of respect and solidarity to Ralph Bulger as the loss, pain and memories are imprinted upon his life and he does not have the luxury of closing the book on that.
March 9, 2013
I could not put this book down. My own son was one month old when James was murdered so I remember it well from the media reports at the time, but still I cried over and over again for James while reading. It's still shocking to imagine that he was tortured and abused in such a way at all, let alone by children.
The book is well written and despite the heavy, harrowing storyline I knew I had to keep reading, though at times I had to put it down. It was horrific reading the details of what actually happened to James, the poor little thing, and to imagine the last moments he lived. I felt my emotions on a roller coaster as his father Ralph described the legal battles undertaken over the years. I can feel and understand his anger when reading of the murderers' incarceration - their outings, allowances, luxuries when little James never even got to go to school, and understand the fear he felt at their release.
The essence of who James Bulger actually was shone through in this book. I never knew he was a cheeky, full on, charismatic little boy.
I did wonder about James' mum Denise though, the torture she would have endured not only with losing her son in such a terrible way, but in also losing her husband while he shut down and couldn't open up to her. So many mums have cheeky little kids who run off in the exciting atmosphere of a shopping centre, but you don't expect them to be abducted by other children.
I had my own temporary horror when my son was two - he disappeared from a shopping centre playground and for half an hour while his dad and I ran around looking, I was convinced someone had taken him. When we found him downstairs, happily playing with a staff members' keys I was so relieved. To this day though I wonder how he got down the escalators on his own, didn't anyone see him, why didn't someone stop him, was someone with him? I just thank to God we got him back.
Ralph Bulger would be around my age and it's sad to think of 20 years of torture in his mind. While he will never forget his beautiful boy, I hope he can follow Father Mick's advice and forgive himself . . . after all he has nothing to feel guilty about.
The book is well written and despite the heavy, harrowing storyline I knew I had to keep reading, though at times I had to put it down. It was horrific reading the details of what actually happened to James, the poor little thing, and to imagine the last moments he lived. I felt my emotions on a roller coaster as his father Ralph described the legal battles undertaken over the years. I can feel and understand his anger when reading of the murderers' incarceration - their outings, allowances, luxuries when little James never even got to go to school, and understand the fear he felt at their release.
The essence of who James Bulger actually was shone through in this book. I never knew he was a cheeky, full on, charismatic little boy.
I did wonder about James' mum Denise though, the torture she would have endured not only with losing her son in such a terrible way, but in also losing her husband while he shut down and couldn't open up to her. So many mums have cheeky little kids who run off in the exciting atmosphere of a shopping centre, but you don't expect them to be abducted by other children.
I had my own temporary horror when my son was two - he disappeared from a shopping centre playground and for half an hour while his dad and I ran around looking, I was convinced someone had taken him. When we found him downstairs, happily playing with a staff members' keys I was so relieved. To this day though I wonder how he got down the escalators on his own, didn't anyone see him, why didn't someone stop him, was someone with him? I just thank to God we got him back.
Ralph Bulger would be around my age and it's sad to think of 20 years of torture in his mind. While he will never forget his beautiful boy, I hope he can follow Father Mick's advice and forgive himself . . . after all he has nothing to feel guilty about.
April 25, 2013
One of the hardest books I've ever read. Very difficult to keep going at times especially the part at the mortuary. Would not want to read it again but glad I have read it.
November 9, 2013
Yes, yes, I can hear you saying "Why on earth would you want to read this?" And no, it's not great writing in the literary stakes but that's not why you read this sort of book is it? You read it because you couldn't bear to read about it at the time in the papers because your children were the same age as James and it was too much to bear...even though it didn't happen to you. So, out of a kind of misplaced Catholic guilt, you think the least you can do is be brave enough to read the book twenty years later and try to discover why two ten year olds might do what they did and how a parent survives this kind of tragedy. Ralph Bulger does not pretend to have the answers. He does not apologise for his beliefs. I found it gripping reading on many levels - and learned much about the lack of support for victims of crime and the impenetrable "wisdom" of the justice system. Not to mention the stoicism and tremendous strength of character of the author and his family. If you have ever lost a child - even if only for a few seconds or a few minutes - you cannot help but feel for James' family and wish with all your heart that this had never happened.
May 3, 2013
Reading this book broke my heart. I had to put the book down on a few occasions to gather myself. I was very young when this happened but I remember his name and my mum being even more protective as a result.
I loved how the first chapters made me really get to know James, made me smile the typical cheeky boy who love his "Ralph" and being the centre of attention. But when he disappeared, I could feel my heart sink in. What those two lads done to poor James makes me cry.
Up to this point I believed everyone was born neutral and learnt by example but after reading this I have to say, maybe some people are just born plain evil. Thompson and Venables are evil, and they are protected for life.
My heart goes out to the Bulger family.
This book was made harder to read for me as when I looked up from the book, my 2 n half year old would be smiling at me, and all could think was "how/why would anyone want to hurt a baby??"
Tough but good read, well done Ralph, your amazing
I loved how the first chapters made me really get to know James, made me smile the typical cheeky boy who love his "Ralph" and being the centre of attention. But when he disappeared, I could feel my heart sink in. What those two lads done to poor James makes me cry.
Up to this point I believed everyone was born neutral and learnt by example but after reading this I have to say, maybe some people are just born plain evil. Thompson and Venables are evil, and they are protected for life.
My heart goes out to the Bulger family.
This book was made harder to read for me as when I looked up from the book, my 2 n half year old would be smiling at me, and all could think was "how/why would anyone want to hurt a baby??"
Tough but good read, well done Ralph, your amazing
April 1, 2013
hard book to read but gives a very personal insight in to the awful tragedy
July 28, 2018
Very heartbreaking read. It’s a very interesting book on the murder of a little boy I found it boring at beginning but it get better towards the middle when they tell you in detail about the trail and how it all works. I would recommend people to read this book. I feel for little James family and may the little boy James R.I.P xxx
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July 21, 2025Heartbreaking and heart-warming at the same time. Unimaginable trauma James parents and famiy endured at the time and still live through, showing immense bravery and determination to gain justice for James.
May 26, 2025
How people can be so twisted is beyond me. Heartbreaking, so much anger throughout. Poor baba
June 26, 2016
This book is absolutely heartwrenching and you'll feel like a different person after reading it. The detail is heartbreakingly honest and the injustice so despicable that if you have any illusions of fairness in the justice system, you won't after this.
So often we hear from the mothers who have been victimised by crimes against their child. It was very insightful to hear from little James Bulger's father, Ralph and his endless fight for justice. This is a crime that happened when I was too little to remember (I was older than James, younger than his 10 year old killers) but it's the kind of crime you don't grow up without hearing about. I really enjoyed Ralph's beautiful, joyous memories of his little boy and learning about the gorgeous personality of James during his short life. He brought so much joy to his family and I'm so glad that they have those memories of him.
Everything from there on is a very difficult, emotional read and details are not spared. I was particularly emotional when reading about how relieved James' parents were when they saw the now infamous CCTV footage of him being lead away by 2 10 year old boys. That footage gave them hope and a sense of relief because he was with other children they couldn't imagine children harming their little boy. Nobody could. Of course that hope was soon to be shattered.
The details of what happened to James are so graphic that I would warn anybody reading to beware. I didn't know exactly what had happened, how prolonged it was and other details that I don't want to think about, let alone write about. But I understand why those details are in the book. They are juxtaposed with the easy ride that his killers were given, their 'detention' giving them a better life than they ever could have hoped for at home, their manipulation of the system, complete indifference even with age as to what they had done and the lack of any kind of punishment whatsoever. The focus on rehabilitation overrode everything and from what we learned later, they have not been rehabilitated. Being trained by specialists to lie about their new identities made them even more adept liars and parole boards have fallen for it over and over again.
There is a distinct sense that the government also had an interest in proving to the world that their rehabilitation experiment on these kids worked and thus criminal offences and endless parole breaches that they committed as adults were completely ignored and the very worst offenses that couldn't be ignored were deliberately covered up from the public and if it weren't for the media, the world and James' family would never know about it.
Ralph is still, understandably, tormented and forever changed by this crime and more than anything I wish him peace. While I know that this is almost always the case, it's heartbreaking to read his experience of the killers being prioritised over the victims. Victims of crime are often not provided with the mental health resources that the offenders are. This leads to addiction, reationship breakdowns and younger family members suffering trauma as a direct result of their family's suffering. This can continue for generations. They usually end up financially ruined and don't get a real voice in sentencing or parole hearings over the crime that victimised them. Ralph and his family suffered all of this immensely and the government and judicial system's insistence that these killers serve as little detention as possible has led to him being dragged back into the nightmare as he constantly battles for them to be kept away from the community, even as reoffendeding adults. Court case after court case, parole hearings and inquires are so physically and emotionally draining and financially taxing and James' family continually having to fight for justice endlessly denies them the peace that they would have if these criminals simply were locked up for life, unable to harm another child again. It's undeniable that they have been denied justice in a system that forgets the victims.
So often we hear from the mothers who have been victimised by crimes against their child. It was very insightful to hear from little James Bulger's father, Ralph and his endless fight for justice. This is a crime that happened when I was too little to remember (I was older than James, younger than his 10 year old killers) but it's the kind of crime you don't grow up without hearing about. I really enjoyed Ralph's beautiful, joyous memories of his little boy and learning about the gorgeous personality of James during his short life. He brought so much joy to his family and I'm so glad that they have those memories of him.
Everything from there on is a very difficult, emotional read and details are not spared. I was particularly emotional when reading about how relieved James' parents were when they saw the now infamous CCTV footage of him being lead away by 2 10 year old boys. That footage gave them hope and a sense of relief because he was with other children they couldn't imagine children harming their little boy. Nobody could. Of course that hope was soon to be shattered.
The details of what happened to James are so graphic that I would warn anybody reading to beware. I didn't know exactly what had happened, how prolonged it was and other details that I don't want to think about, let alone write about. But I understand why those details are in the book. They are juxtaposed with the easy ride that his killers were given, their 'detention' giving them a better life than they ever could have hoped for at home, their manipulation of the system, complete indifference even with age as to what they had done and the lack of any kind of punishment whatsoever. The focus on rehabilitation overrode everything and from what we learned later, they have not been rehabilitated. Being trained by specialists to lie about their new identities made them even more adept liars and parole boards have fallen for it over and over again.
There is a distinct sense that the government also had an interest in proving to the world that their rehabilitation experiment on these kids worked and thus criminal offences and endless parole breaches that they committed as adults were completely ignored and the very worst offenses that couldn't be ignored were deliberately covered up from the public and if it weren't for the media, the world and James' family would never know about it.
Ralph is still, understandably, tormented and forever changed by this crime and more than anything I wish him peace. While I know that this is almost always the case, it's heartbreaking to read his experience of the killers being prioritised over the victims. Victims of crime are often not provided with the mental health resources that the offenders are. This leads to addiction, reationship breakdowns and younger family members suffering trauma as a direct result of their family's suffering. This can continue for generations. They usually end up financially ruined and don't get a real voice in sentencing or parole hearings over the crime that victimised them. Ralph and his family suffered all of this immensely and the government and judicial system's insistence that these killers serve as little detention as possible has led to him being dragged back into the nightmare as he constantly battles for them to be kept away from the community, even as reoffendeding adults. Court case after court case, parole hearings and inquires are so physically and emotionally draining and financially taxing and James' family continually having to fight for justice endlessly denies them the peace that they would have if these criminals simply were locked up for life, unable to harm another child again. It's undeniable that they have been denied justice in a system that forgets the victims.
September 30, 2013
Firstly let me say, as a mother it is impossible for me to review this book without being emotional about it. This book is a true horror novel, and what is worse, it is a horror novel because it is a true story.
I can only do this review as a segmented piece, because to be honest, my inclination is to go on a massive rant on my feelings about the legal system, the two killers and just a long emotional wail on "how could anyone..."
So here is my thoughts part by part.
1) I can not believe how long ago this happened. So awful and frighting that it was caused by two 10 year olds, that it is still fresh in my mind. I can't believe that young James would be 23 now.
2) I can not believe how screwed up the legal system was to allow these two degenerate little shits out so early. Evidence came to light of their true characters after their release, which should have had the authorities rush out and throw them back into prison. They should not have been given special treatment, and it angers me that the American was allowed to poke his nose into the business of the British court. HOW DARE HE!!!!!! What a tosspot, how dare he make a judgement on the treatment of the two shits, did he not read the transcript of what they did? Where was James rights and his protection from being treated in such a harsh manner, when these turds did what they did???
3) Venables should never be released. END OF STORY!! After reading what he did to be thrown back into prison, he should have been thrown into a dark, deep pit and left to become the recipient of all the faecal and urinary manner of his fellow prisoners until he died.
I am a great believer in the rights of all, but the day these two little horrors took James's life and did what they did to that young boy they gave up their right to be treated as humans, and the right to be treated as humans.
I was told by my sister I should not read this book, even after she gave it to me to read, because she could not read it any further than the first chapter, I still insisted that I would be ok. Well truth to be told, I am ok, despite having more knowledge of the case than I ever had before. I would rather be in ignorance still, about certain aspects of this case, but what is done, can not be undone, something James's family know only too well.
Read only if you have a strong stomach. Personally I feel like taking the book outside and burning it, so awful are it's contents. Read at your own minds risk. What is read, can not be unread.
I can only do this review as a segmented piece, because to be honest, my inclination is to go on a massive rant on my feelings about the legal system, the two killers and just a long emotional wail on "how could anyone..."
So here is my thoughts part by part.
1) I can not believe how long ago this happened. So awful and frighting that it was caused by two 10 year olds, that it is still fresh in my mind. I can't believe that young James would be 23 now.
2) I can not believe how screwed up the legal system was to allow these two degenerate little shits out so early. Evidence came to light of their true characters after their release, which should have had the authorities rush out and throw them back into prison. They should not have been given special treatment, and it angers me that the American was allowed to poke his nose into the business of the British court. HOW DARE HE!!!!!! What a tosspot, how dare he make a judgement on the treatment of the two shits, did he not read the transcript of what they did? Where was James rights and his protection from being treated in such a harsh manner, when these turds did what they did???
3) Venables should never be released. END OF STORY!! After reading what he did to be thrown back into prison, he should have been thrown into a dark, deep pit and left to become the recipient of all the faecal and urinary manner of his fellow prisoners until he died.
I am a great believer in the rights of all, but the day these two little horrors took James's life and did what they did to that young boy they gave up their right to be treated as humans, and the right to be treated as humans.
I was told by my sister I should not read this book, even after she gave it to me to read, because she could not read it any further than the first chapter, I still insisted that I would be ok. Well truth to be told, I am ok, despite having more knowledge of the case than I ever had before. I would rather be in ignorance still, about certain aspects of this case, but what is done, can not be undone, something James's family know only too well.
Read only if you have a strong stomach. Personally I feel like taking the book outside and burning it, so awful are it's contents. Read at your own minds risk. What is read, can not be unread.
December 1, 2017
It felt right to read this book now, if it could ever be right to read a book about a 2 year old who has been murdered in such a brutal fashion. Just 8 days ago one of James's killers was sent to jail for the second time for possession of child pornography
This was not an easy read. The pain Ralph felt and still feels spills across the page. His pain at losing his son, his hatred of the 2 men who killed his son and his betrayal at the hands of the justice system that allowed the boys such a cushy life and then released them under new identities. He is completely honest about all of it. How his marriage fell apart and he turned to drink to try and cope with losing his son. He doesn't sugar coat and admits he hated Thompson and Venables and wished they where dead. But its honest for that. I hope Ralph is able to find some peace
This was not an easy read. The pain Ralph felt and still feels spills across the page. His pain at losing his son, his hatred of the 2 men who killed his son and his betrayal at the hands of the justice system that allowed the boys such a cushy life and then released them under new identities. He is completely honest about all of it. How his marriage fell apart and he turned to drink to try and cope with losing his son. He doesn't sugar coat and admits he hated Thompson and Venables and wished they where dead. But its honest for that. I hope Ralph is able to find some peace
November 3, 2014
The tragic circumstances of little James Bulger's brutal murder in Liverpool in 1993 at the hands of two 10-year-old boys sent shockwaves of horror & disbelief around the world &, like many others, I can clearly remember my own personal feelings of utter despair at this despicable crime against a defenceless child.
I'll never forget the images of James' shell-shocked parents Ralph & Denise , & how my heart went out to them.
Now, 20 years' later, Ralph has decided to pay tribute to his wonderful son's short life by writing his side of the story of his precious memories of James, the events around his murder, the trial of the killers, & the years of pain & sadness & outrage that followed for Ralph & his family - including the break-up of his marriage to Denise.
This is a very honest & powerful account of one man's struggle to get justice for his son, never giving up as the legal system seemed more concerned about the welfare of James' unrepentant & psychopathic murderers, than in finding real justice for James.
It's a heart-rending & disturbing book that can't fail to stir the reader's emotions, but Ralph has done James proud in documenting his story here so well. He has suffered years of emotional turbulence & daily nightmares as he struggles to come to terms with the barbaric murder of his gentle & innocent son, & it's by no means an easy read sometimes.
All I can say is that James for me is a symbol of beauty, innocence & perfection. He encapsulates everything that I love about life when I see his smiling face, or read about his giggly & energetic character.
Thank you so much Ralph for sharing your story - you are a wonderful human being, just like your son. James will never ever be forgotten.
I'll never forget the images of James' shell-shocked parents Ralph & Denise , & how my heart went out to them.
Now, 20 years' later, Ralph has decided to pay tribute to his wonderful son's short life by writing his side of the story of his precious memories of James, the events around his murder, the trial of the killers, & the years of pain & sadness & outrage that followed for Ralph & his family - including the break-up of his marriage to Denise.
This is a very honest & powerful account of one man's struggle to get justice for his son, never giving up as the legal system seemed more concerned about the welfare of James' unrepentant & psychopathic murderers, than in finding real justice for James.
It's a heart-rending & disturbing book that can't fail to stir the reader's emotions, but Ralph has done James proud in documenting his story here so well. He has suffered years of emotional turbulence & daily nightmares as he struggles to come to terms with the barbaric murder of his gentle & innocent son, & it's by no means an easy read sometimes.
All I can say is that James for me is a symbol of beauty, innocence & perfection. He encapsulates everything that I love about life when I see his smiling face, or read about his giggly & energetic character.
Thank you so much Ralph for sharing your story - you are a wonderful human being, just like your son. James will never ever be forgotten.
January 3, 2014
It is hard to review this book. It was something I was in two minds about reading. It is one of those books that if you absorb the words then you will end up in tears throughout so it was a book I read but didn't read (if that makes sense). I felt very sad as I read about the frantic hunt for James when he first went missing as I so wanted the story to have a happy ending and for James to be found giggling under a rail of clothes but of course I knew in the back of my mind that a much more tragic outcome awaited him. :( I take my hat off to Ralph Bulger as the hell he describes is unimaginable and to be reminded at the short sentence served by his killers was a shock.
To read in detail the legal battle faced by the family of James Bulger - well I was astounded and I am lost for words.
To read in detail the legal battle faced by the family of James Bulger - well I was astounded and I am lost for words.
June 27, 2013
This was the hardest book I have ever read but it was one I felt compelled to read and one I feel everyone should read. Heartbreaking and inspiring are words that spring to mind. It was the most shocking of murders and I think I must have blocked out some of the details so reading what those evil devils did was so shocking it made me gasp and cry. To not even be able to see your baby after what they did to him must have been heartbreaking for Ralph and Denise. They were even robbed of that due to the horrific injuries. My heart goes out to Ralph, Denise and their families for their bravery in seeking justice for baby James. They are without question inspirational people. I send my love to them. Rest in peace baby James xx
March 19, 2019
The murder of little James Bulger is hands down the one that has disturbed me most over the years especially because of the age of the perpetrators and the brutality of the murder they committed. Not the kind of book you actually 'enjoy' reading so I'm wary of using certain adjectives. But my gosh, does it hold your interest. An honest, raw account by James's father, you get to cry with him and feel the most heart-wrenching pain as he describes the disappearance, the agonising search and the eventual terrifying discovery of the body. You are also left fuming at the lack of injustice and the lack of real punishment meted out to the perpetrators over the years. I do hope James's family find some comfort and solace. This book reaches in and rips your heart out over and over again.
April 12, 2021
To many this should be a well known story, but to some there will be details within this book of true horror which were never released into the general public via the press (to the best of my knowledge).
A sad account of many years of heartache, told in a way that we can all put ourselves into the shoes of Ralph- James' dad.
A sad account of many years of heartache, told in a way that we can all put ourselves into the shoes of Ralph- James' dad.
December 19, 2021
This book was so painful to read that I kept having to stop and take breaks from it. It's the story of the most shocking single murder of the 1990s, or do I mean all of human history, seen from the point of view of the devastated victim's father and his family. They manage to encompass the whole first 20 years of their ordeal and the British legal system's completely inadequate response. They lay out exactly where they found gaping holes in the system and make suggestions to start addressing them. Well worth your time if you have a strong stomach. Well worth your time if you don't.
April 7, 2021
I don’t really have any words to be honest. There’s no way I could truly sum up how reading this made me feel.
December 2, 2025
Devastating
March 21, 2014
I never knew the full details of the James Bulger murder story and after reading this I'm not sure I needed too. However when I decided to read this book I knew that the details would be there in black and white and made that conscious decision to forge ahead. This tragic horrific story is captured by his dad and how it has impacted mainly his life, but obviously also other family members particularly his brother who identified the body. We will never know the identities of those hideous people that took James' life but I think we can all agree that they were not normal kids and should never have been released into society. The book also teaches us about the complete lack of respect and support for the victims in what is the most horrific story but likewise how strong they have all been to continue with their lives and continue fighting for some kind of justice.
Having said that, if rumours and stories are true then being in prison was a walk in the park for them and whether staff felt sorry for them being kids or whether they manipulated the situation by their behaviour toward staff they managed to get all they wanted; with this in mind I'm hoping that having to life as a lie is painful in every way for them; I hope they are not able to have contact with their families and I hope hey are terrified and haunted by constant nightmares of what they did to that poor defenceless child. I personally don't believe they deserved lifetime anonymity but likewise nor would I want a vigilante to get themselves into trouble seeking retribution; I hope that no innocent people have been target as being Thompson or Venables.
To say I've enjoyed this book sounds so wrong, but I thought it to be well written and informative, my only criticism would be that it is only Ralph's story and there are others obviously deeply inflicted by the tragic events of that time.
Rest in peace sweet boy x
Having said that, if rumours and stories are true then being in prison was a walk in the park for them and whether staff felt sorry for them being kids or whether they manipulated the situation by their behaviour toward staff they managed to get all they wanted; with this in mind I'm hoping that having to life as a lie is painful in every way for them; I hope they are not able to have contact with their families and I hope hey are terrified and haunted by constant nightmares of what they did to that poor defenceless child. I personally don't believe they deserved lifetime anonymity but likewise nor would I want a vigilante to get themselves into trouble seeking retribution; I hope that no innocent people have been target as being Thompson or Venables.
To say I've enjoyed this book sounds so wrong, but I thought it to be well written and informative, my only criticism would be that it is only Ralph's story and there are others obviously deeply inflicted by the tragic events of that time.
Rest in peace sweet boy x
November 23, 2014
How anyone can justify what was done to James is beyond belief, and the way the two boys seem to have been treated by the 'legal' system since is the same.
I knew picking this book up, that what I would read would probably scar me, and it already has. I couldn't sleep last night, relieving passages of the incredible emotional trauma suffered by this poor toddler's father after his murder. But it's obviously a story that needs to be heard, and not forgotten.
Now, I knew the basic facts of this story, up to the arrest of the boys who killed James. What I didn't know was the ridiculously easy sentence enjoyed by them both, and the fact that one of them has been caught with child pornography since. They were ten years old yes, but the murdered someone. They sexually assaulted someone. How is 8 years enough for that crime? Why is adult prison considered 'too much' when they reached 18? If anything, they had more preparation for that kind of situation than the average 18 year old sent to prison! it seemed poor reasoning to me, to then grant anonymity to them both. These boys could be living anywhere, near children. It just made me feel sick.
This book is an emotional roller coaster. I cried like ten times, even when it wasn't meant to be sad, when things caught up in my subconscious. The writing, choppy in places, was exactly the sort to fully convey the horror experienced by James' father after that day. He was so young himself, and had already lost a daughter, and this is the event that has determined his entire life. Then you have words from his brother, who identified James' body, and the trauma he has never recovered from.
I recommend it, but know that you will probably never think the same and that of course this book is emotional. I feel sick and sad even now. Five stars.
I knew picking this book up, that what I would read would probably scar me, and it already has. I couldn't sleep last night, relieving passages of the incredible emotional trauma suffered by this poor toddler's father after his murder. But it's obviously a story that needs to be heard, and not forgotten.
Now, I knew the basic facts of this story, up to the arrest of the boys who killed James. What I didn't know was the ridiculously easy sentence enjoyed by them both, and the fact that one of them has been caught with child pornography since. They were ten years old yes, but the murdered someone. They sexually assaulted someone. How is 8 years enough for that crime? Why is adult prison considered 'too much' when they reached 18? If anything, they had more preparation for that kind of situation than the average 18 year old sent to prison! it seemed poor reasoning to me, to then grant anonymity to them both. These boys could be living anywhere, near children. It just made me feel sick.
This book is an emotional roller coaster. I cried like ten times, even when it wasn't meant to be sad, when things caught up in my subconscious. The writing, choppy in places, was exactly the sort to fully convey the horror experienced by James' father after that day. He was so young himself, and had already lost a daughter, and this is the event that has determined his entire life. Then you have words from his brother, who identified James' body, and the trauma he has never recovered from.
I recommend it, but know that you will probably never think the same and that of course this book is emotional. I feel sick and sad even now. Five stars.
April 23, 2013
I was 14 when this tragedy happened and I remember it vividly, shocked and saddened that this happened to such a young boy but also disgusted by the fact that it was perpetrated by boys that were not that much younger than me at the time. Twenty years on and I'm still affected by what happened, though obviously not as much as the family of James Bulger. Reading this book, it really opens your eyes to how a tragic event really effects the family of the victims, not just during the event and soon after afterwards - but for the rest of their lives.
It really also angered me reading how the system really DOES protect the criminals instead of the victims and their families. Why is it those boys were protected so thoroughly in the aftermath of their crimes when they not only destroyed one baby's life, but also the lives of his family? Just because they were ten-years old at the time, does not automatically mean they can be rehabilitated. The fact that they were so young when they committed the crime makes it so much worse - if they can do that at aged 10, what the hell are they capable of when their adults?
Anyway, this book really has opened my eyes. Even though I was familiar to the story of James Bulger, I never really stopped to think of how it affected his family. The struggles they endured, whether it be emotional or even legal struggles.
It was a heart-rendering account of the years Ralph and his family endured after the brutal murder of James and I for one, will be holding my kids' hands a little firmer when walking through the shops - it's a sad world we live in when we have to be wary of both adults AND kids we don't know.
It really also angered me reading how the system really DOES protect the criminals instead of the victims and their families. Why is it those boys were protected so thoroughly in the aftermath of their crimes when they not only destroyed one baby's life, but also the lives of his family? Just because they were ten-years old at the time, does not automatically mean they can be rehabilitated. The fact that they were so young when they committed the crime makes it so much worse - if they can do that at aged 10, what the hell are they capable of when their adults?
Anyway, this book really has opened my eyes. Even though I was familiar to the story of James Bulger, I never really stopped to think of how it affected his family. The struggles they endured, whether it be emotional or even legal struggles.
It was a heart-rendering account of the years Ralph and his family endured after the brutal murder of James and I for one, will be holding my kids' hands a little firmer when walking through the shops - it's a sad world we live in when we have to be wary of both adults AND kids we don't know.
February 12, 2024
I can't believe it has been 31 years since little James was murdered by two 10-year old boys. I watched a documentary on this case years ago and it stayed with me all these years. I've been planning to read Denise's book for a while but for some reason I couldn't bring my self to read it yet. I came across Ralph's book in a second hand book store and I reluctantly bought it, knowing that reading it would destroy me.
When I watched the documentary, I was a young girl and while I felt sorrow thinking about what James must have gone through, it was different kind of torture reading it as a mother of two young kids. A lot of tears were shed and I was mentally tortured by images of James and what had those animals done to him. I fell down the rabbit hole and I found myself looking for whatever I could find regarding James, which didn't help the mental anguish. I am not exactly sure what I was looking for or what I hoped to achieve. It certainly achieved to make me even more upset. But whatever sorrow I felt over his murder doesn't come even close to what his family must have felt.
Ralph didn't hold anything back and you can feel his suffering through the pages, even decades after James had been killed. I really do not know how he managed to live on and find joy in life after something so terrible happening to him. It is very awe-inspiring.
James was not even 3 years old when he was led away by two young boys. Four minutes is all it took for James to wander off from his mother's side while she paid for shopping, cross paths with the young boys and for them to leave the shopping centre together. The relief the parents felt when they've found out that James was led away by other kids and that no harm will come to him, that feeling of relief being squashed 2 days after James has gone missing. Even in their wildest dreams would they think that two 10-year olds would be capable of such evil.
What is horrifying to think about is that dozen of people saw James with his killers and no one intervened, thinking that James is their baby brother. It is quite sad to think about that even if one person found it suspicious, James would have been saved.
A large portion of the book describes the fight against the legal system and how the family fought to have the killers stay behind bars, but all the fight proved to be fruitless and they were both released less than 8 years after committing the crime. Ralph describes how he lost faith in his legal and political system and like no one listened to him when all he wanted was for the boys to actually feel like they've paid for what they did, but instead of being punished for their crimes, they were treated like royalty in the detention home they were sent to. It felt like all they got for brutally assaulting and killing James was a slap on the wrist. I can't even imagine what that must have felt like for the parents especially, like their little boy's life was worth only 7 years and 8 months behind doors of a detention home where his killers led better life than they did on the outside. What kind of punishment is that? Ralph expressed that he wanted them to experience adult prison but politicians and juries felt like that would undo all the rehabilitation they've done over the years. So much for that, when one of them was arrested multiple times since 2001, for hoarding child pornography images rated 4, 5 being the most severe. People involved in the decision to have them two released should feel ashamed.
I felt Ralph's anger when he mentioned how the two boys were taken to James's grave as part of their rehabilitation. What kind of bullsh*t is that. The two were granted life long anonymity for fear that the public would take matter into their own hands, but they don't have integrity to protect the one person who suffered by the hands of the two boys. They might as well have pissed all over his grave. It is really sickening that the perpetrators are protected more than the victims. There is seriously something wrong with the legal system and it makes me so angry just thinking about it, so I can't imagine what it must have been like for James's family, to live through it. It must have been hell.
James's murder have affected a lot of people, but especially his parents, Ralph and Denise, his siblings that he never got to meet, his aunts, uncles and cousins. I have nothing but respect for Jimmy, Ralph's brother, and how he stood by Ralph all these years, fighting for justice. He was also the one that went to formally identify James's body which has left him with post traumatic stress disorder. I can't even imagine being in his position. It must have been horrifying and poor Jimmy had to live with this all these years. All James's siblings/half-siblings and cousins were kept on a short leash in fear that something might happen to them as well, especially seeing that the two killers had access to a paper where all of the family information was written down, including the address, the names of kids and where the kids go to school. If they wished to view it, they could. How ironic is it that the two kids were granted life-long anonymity but could possess such knowledge if they wished. In fact, for the longest time Ralph and Jimmy were afraid for their kids as they thought that once the two boys get out, they might come and hurt another one of their kids.
This case is horrific all around and as far as I am concerned the two boys should have been let out. Why should they get to live a life when they stole that chance from James? They don't deserve compassion. They knew full well what they did that day and had a lot of opportunities to turn back, but they never did. They carried out their sick plan and I shudder to think about what poor James had to go through in his final moments. I am so happy for Ralph and Denise that they managed to get some normalcy back, even though they did so separately, their marriage not surviving the murder of their precious boy. Ralph's goal in writing this book was to make James into a living and breathing boy, not just a boy known to be murdered. And he did so beautifully. The little snippets of James's character and the few photos that were included within the pages were a lovely way to celebrate James. He might not have had a long life, but he lived to the fullest and he was so loved by everyone that knew him.
When I watched the documentary, I was a young girl and while I felt sorrow thinking about what James must have gone through, it was different kind of torture reading it as a mother of two young kids. A lot of tears were shed and I was mentally tortured by images of James and what had those animals done to him. I fell down the rabbit hole and I found myself looking for whatever I could find regarding James, which didn't help the mental anguish. I am not exactly sure what I was looking for or what I hoped to achieve. It certainly achieved to make me even more upset. But whatever sorrow I felt over his murder doesn't come even close to what his family must have felt.
Ralph didn't hold anything back and you can feel his suffering through the pages, even decades after James had been killed. I really do not know how he managed to live on and find joy in life after something so terrible happening to him. It is very awe-inspiring.
James was not even 3 years old when he was led away by two young boys. Four minutes is all it took for James to wander off from his mother's side while she paid for shopping, cross paths with the young boys and for them to leave the shopping centre together. The relief the parents felt when they've found out that James was led away by other kids and that no harm will come to him, that feeling of relief being squashed 2 days after James has gone missing. Even in their wildest dreams would they think that two 10-year olds would be capable of such evil.
What is horrifying to think about is that dozen of people saw James with his killers and no one intervened, thinking that James is their baby brother. It is quite sad to think about that even if one person found it suspicious, James would have been saved.
A large portion of the book describes the fight against the legal system and how the family fought to have the killers stay behind bars, but all the fight proved to be fruitless and they were both released less than 8 years after committing the crime. Ralph describes how he lost faith in his legal and political system and like no one listened to him when all he wanted was for the boys to actually feel like they've paid for what they did, but instead of being punished for their crimes, they were treated like royalty in the detention home they were sent to. It felt like all they got for brutally assaulting and killing James was a slap on the wrist. I can't even imagine what that must have felt like for the parents especially, like their little boy's life was worth only 7 years and 8 months behind doors of a detention home where his killers led better life than they did on the outside. What kind of punishment is that? Ralph expressed that he wanted them to experience adult prison but politicians and juries felt like that would undo all the rehabilitation they've done over the years. So much for that, when one of them was arrested multiple times since 2001, for hoarding child pornography images rated 4, 5 being the most severe. People involved in the decision to have them two released should feel ashamed.
I felt Ralph's anger when he mentioned how the two boys were taken to James's grave as part of their rehabilitation. What kind of bullsh*t is that. The two were granted life long anonymity for fear that the public would take matter into their own hands, but they don't have integrity to protect the one person who suffered by the hands of the two boys. They might as well have pissed all over his grave. It is really sickening that the perpetrators are protected more than the victims. There is seriously something wrong with the legal system and it makes me so angry just thinking about it, so I can't imagine what it must have been like for James's family, to live through it. It must have been hell.
James's murder have affected a lot of people, but especially his parents, Ralph and Denise, his siblings that he never got to meet, his aunts, uncles and cousins. I have nothing but respect for Jimmy, Ralph's brother, and how he stood by Ralph all these years, fighting for justice. He was also the one that went to formally identify James's body which has left him with post traumatic stress disorder. I can't even imagine being in his position. It must have been horrifying and poor Jimmy had to live with this all these years. All James's siblings/half-siblings and cousins were kept on a short leash in fear that something might happen to them as well, especially seeing that the two killers had access to a paper where all of the family information was written down, including the address, the names of kids and where the kids go to school. If they wished to view it, they could. How ironic is it that the two kids were granted life-long anonymity but could possess such knowledge if they wished. In fact, for the longest time Ralph and Jimmy were afraid for their kids as they thought that once the two boys get out, they might come and hurt another one of their kids.
This case is horrific all around and as far as I am concerned the two boys should have been let out. Why should they get to live a life when they stole that chance from James? They don't deserve compassion. They knew full well what they did that day and had a lot of opportunities to turn back, but they never did. They carried out their sick plan and I shudder to think about what poor James had to go through in his final moments. I am so happy for Ralph and Denise that they managed to get some normalcy back, even though they did so separately, their marriage not surviving the murder of their precious boy. Ralph's goal in writing this book was to make James into a living and breathing boy, not just a boy known to be murdered. And he did so beautifully. The little snippets of James's character and the few photos that were included within the pages were a lovely way to celebrate James. He might not have had a long life, but he lived to the fullest and he was so loved by everyone that knew him.
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