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Death by Zamboni
A sweeping American romance spanning five American generations in America.
Oh, wait, that's some other crappy novel. In Death by Zamboni, you'll follow our anti-hero Satan Donut through a world of mimes, TV stars, zombies, blockheads, mad scientists, riot girls, and werewolves. This genre-busting satire shish-kabobs the commercial-entertainment state which degrades our lives and makes everyone stupid. But on a happy note, at least you've got your health.
Oh, wait, that's some other crappy novel. In Death by Zamboni, you'll follow our anti-hero Satan Donut through a world of mimes, TV stars, zombies, blockheads, mad scientists, riot girls, and werewolves. This genre-busting satire shish-kabobs the commercial-entertainment state which degrades our lives and makes everyone stupid. But on a happy note, at least you've got your health.
176 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2000
449 people want to read
About the author
David David Katzman
3 books536 followersI'm an obsessive creator, whether it's writing or creating art.
I've opened an Etsy store for psychedelic art: http://j.mp/PsycheArt. Please consider purchasing my first print—a portrait of George Floyd. I'm donating ALL profits from sales to Black Lives Matter: https://bit.ly/HonorFloyd
I've been honored to be selected to have my art at the Baton Rouge Gallery - Center for Contemporary Art for two years running. The show is called Surreal Salon and the judge in 2018 was the brilliant Ron English and in 2019 was the amazing Camille Rose Garcia.
I've opened an Etsy store for psychedelic art: http://j.mp/PsycheArt. Please consider purchasing my first print—a portrait of George Floyd. I'm donating ALL profits from sales to Black Lives Matter: https://bit.ly/HonorFloyd
I've been honored to be selected to have my art at the Baton Rouge Gallery - Center for Contemporary Art for two years running. The show is called Surreal Salon and the judge in 2018 was the brilliant Ron English and in 2019 was the amazing Camille Rose Garcia.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 43 reviews
January 6, 2011
I totally lied! Mea maxima culpa! I bare my tender flesh to the lashing of your angry whips.
When I originally reviewed this book however-long-ago, I gave it a fairly glowing review because back then I still cared about other people's feelings. But thankfully I've grown out of that annoying quirk (or, as you prefer, affliction) of my late adolescence. You see, I was 'friends' with David David Katzman, the author, and even met him in the real-life flesh a couple of times, and therefore I didn't feel comfortable publicly ridiculing this self-published ego trip as the printed-and-bound Scheiße that it truly was. But now I have been liberated from my moralistic inhibitions by the author himself, who -- on another review thread, in response to an abusive Goodreads author -- writes...
Admittedly the Mr. Katzman who celebrates expression on that thread isn't exactly the same one who privately groused to me about some chick having the nerve to give him two stars, but never mind. Maybe he's matured since then, acquired some of those guts of which he speaks.
But on to the book... so that I might finally purge myself of this deception that has haunted my Goodreads past and (quietly) undermined the integrity of any review I've since posted...
One of the major problems with Death by Zamboni (and there are many major problems) is that there are no rules. The author imagines he can spurn all the laws of the universe, physics and logic included, in order to score some absurdist jokes. Well, it doesn't work that way. In order for absurdism to truly work as humor it must have some stable, rational base to 'bounce' off. For example, the Marx Brothers' absurdity works because it's contrasted with a fairly straight-laced world. Kafka's absurdism works because it's filtered through a 'normal' subjectivity (the main character). Early Woody Allen absurdity works because, even though he may be transplanted into the future [Sleeper] or the Napoleonic era [Love and Death], Woody Allen remains the neurotic everyman through whom and against whom the absurdity is measured.
Or as I said, absurdity needs something to bounce off. If there are absolutely no rules in your universe, then how is anything that happens within it remarkable, interesting, or funny? The Answer: It isn't. It just isn't. Humor is usually the result of some sort of stress, contortion, or dissonance in language or action. If everything in the book can be thrown out the window at any moment for the sake of a very, very, very bad pun, it isn't funny because the author is (for lack of a better word) cheating and furthermore, and even worse, exposing his profound weakness as a writer. Humor is hard work! You can't just string together a bunch of half-baked jokes using the framework of a tortured, unengaging plot and call it a novel. Or I guess you can -- but you'll have to self-publish. Like David David Katzman did.
This book reminded me of a fourth-rate, late-period Robin Williams. You know how Robin Williams appears on late night talk shows (or wherever anybody will have him anymore) and does his tired schtick with the rapid-fire dated impressions (John Wayne anyone?), caffeinated tics, pop culture free association, and lame improv -- and you wish you could suddenly emerge from behind the fake plants on the talk show set to hit him with a tranquilizer dart? That's what this book is like. But much, much, much, much, much worse.
There. I feel better now.
When I originally reviewed this book however-long-ago, I gave it a fairly glowing review because back then I still cared about other people's feelings. But thankfully I've grown out of that annoying quirk (or, as you prefer, affliction) of my late adolescence. You see, I was 'friends' with David David Katzman, the author, and even met him in the real-life flesh a couple of times, and therefore I didn't feel comfortable publicly ridiculing this self-published ego trip as the printed-and-bound Scheiße that it truly was. But now I have been liberated from my moralistic inhibitions by the author himself, who -- on another review thread, in response to an abusive Goodreads author -- writes...
I've gotten shitty reviews. I have a really snarky insulting one on my book page right now. I offered to give the guy his money back, but i didn't ask him to take the review down. It's the price of writing a book. It shows guts to roll with the punches.
Admittedly the Mr. Katzman who celebrates expression on that thread isn't exactly the same one who privately groused to me about some chick having the nerve to give him two stars, but never mind. Maybe he's matured since then, acquired some of those guts of which he speaks.
But on to the book... so that I might finally purge myself of this deception that has haunted my Goodreads past and (quietly) undermined the integrity of any review I've since posted...
One of the major problems with Death by Zamboni (and there are many major problems) is that there are no rules. The author imagines he can spurn all the laws of the universe, physics and logic included, in order to score some absurdist jokes. Well, it doesn't work that way. In order for absurdism to truly work as humor it must have some stable, rational base to 'bounce' off. For example, the Marx Brothers' absurdity works because it's contrasted with a fairly straight-laced world. Kafka's absurdism works because it's filtered through a 'normal' subjectivity (the main character). Early Woody Allen absurdity works because, even though he may be transplanted into the future [Sleeper] or the Napoleonic era [Love and Death], Woody Allen remains the neurotic everyman through whom and against whom the absurdity is measured.
Or as I said, absurdity needs something to bounce off. If there are absolutely no rules in your universe, then how is anything that happens within it remarkable, interesting, or funny? The Answer: It isn't. It just isn't. Humor is usually the result of some sort of stress, contortion, or dissonance in language or action. If everything in the book can be thrown out the window at any moment for the sake of a very, very, very bad pun, it isn't funny because the author is (for lack of a better word) cheating and furthermore, and even worse, exposing his profound weakness as a writer. Humor is hard work! You can't just string together a bunch of half-baked jokes using the framework of a tortured, unengaging plot and call it a novel. Or I guess you can -- but you'll have to self-publish. Like David David Katzman did.
This book reminded me of a fourth-rate, late-period Robin Williams. You know how Robin Williams appears on late night talk shows (or wherever anybody will have him anymore) and does his tired schtick with the rapid-fire dated impressions (John Wayne anyone?), caffeinated tics, pop culture free association, and lame improv -- and you wish you could suddenly emerge from behind the fake plants on the talk show set to hit him with a tranquilizer dart? That's what this book is like. But much, much, much, much, much worse.
There. I feel better now.
January 4, 2026
Before the Wall Street bailouts, after women's suffrage, before the world was forever changed by 9/11, after the invention of sliced bread, and before David David "Double D" Katzman became (in)famous for writing A Greater Monster, he wrote this farcical slapstick amalgamation of family drama, neo noir, and capitalist satire. It's an impressively masturbatory debut novella, and I would heartily recommend it to readers in the mood for something equal parts stupid and smart. It probably isn't necessary to have that stick up your ass surgically removed in order to enjoy a book like this, but it likely wouldn't hurt, provided such procedures are covered by your healthcare plan. But since they probably aren't, let's just forget I mentioned it.
I'm paraphrasing here, but a reviewer much smarter than me (and probably you) once remarked that Katzman's extreme brand of absurdism doesn't work because it provides no rational base off which to bounce. Well, I never went to absurdist school or anything, but I would argue that Katzman's absurdism bounces off your face, executes a perfect combat roll, flicks the mayonnaise from its nipples and shoots you square in the cock with a ray gun that turns people into giant cockroaches.
The "plot" is more like a string of emails, ad spots, and random happenings than anything resembling actual narrative, the characters and dialogue are about as believable as your average politician, and don't even get me started on all the corny jokes (one of them involving an actual corncob). But again — provided that stick isn't causing you too much trouble — let me be the 48th to recommend Death by Zamboni, by D.D. Katzman.
More from Double D:
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
I'm paraphrasing here, but a reviewer much smarter than me (and probably you) once remarked that Katzman's extreme brand of absurdism doesn't work because it provides no rational base off which to bounce. Well, I never went to absurdist school or anything, but I would argue that Katzman's absurdism bounces off your face, executes a perfect combat roll, flicks the mayonnaise from its nipples and shoots you square in the cock with a ray gun that turns people into giant cockroaches.
The "plot" is more like a string of emails, ad spots, and random happenings than anything resembling actual narrative, the characters and dialogue are about as believable as your average politician, and don't even get me started on all the corny jokes (one of them involving an actual corncob). But again — provided that stick isn't causing you too much trouble — let me be the 48th to recommend Death by Zamboni, by D.D. Katzman.
More from Double D:
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
July 14, 2016
If you've ever read a book other than the Holy Bible, you've probably heard this one before - a statuesque blond walks into a private investigator's office. Yawn. But, Katzman manages to throw a whole new spin on this old chestnut, mainly by having the blond utter aloud the always implied but never overtly stated subtext - "I need you to find my missing husband. And I'll have sex with you if you succeed."
What follows is a bizarro tale featuring both nifty one-liners and groan-inducing puns. There are mimes. Hebraic hitmen, and Manute Bol. The best part is the missing man's name - Bland Entropy. I enjoyed probably the first third of the book before what little there was of a plot looped off into the stratosphere with a load of celebrity name-dropping, chair punching, and random explosions. (At least I think there were random explosions; I had sort of stopped paying attention by then.)
Two stars, plus one more because I was honestly looking forward to those inconveniently timed phone calls from Satan's mom. Can't wait til my kids leave home so I can do that to them.
What follows is a bizarro tale featuring both nifty one-liners and groan-inducing puns. There are mimes. Hebraic hitmen, and Manute Bol. The best part is the missing man's name - Bland Entropy. I enjoyed probably the first third of the book before what little there was of a plot looped off into the stratosphere with a load of celebrity name-dropping, chair punching, and random explosions. (At least I think there were random explosions; I had sort of stopped paying attention by then.)
Two stars, plus one more because I was honestly looking forward to those inconveniently timed phone calls from Satan's mom. Can't wait til my kids leave home so I can do that to them.
April 26, 2010
The Unauthorized Death By Zamboni Reader Qualification quiz designed to determine whether or not you should be allowed to buy a copy of Death By Zamboni or if you must wait for the Death By Zamboni mini-series on CBC™.
Answer these questions:
Answer these questions:
0. No?If you answered yes to some of these questions Death By Zamboni is for you. Of course, if you answered no to some of these questions Death By Zamboni is for you. If you answered maybe to any of these same questions then Death By Zamboni is also for you -- maybe. But if you answered yes to some of these questions Death By Zamboni isn’t for you because you’re a half wit who probably can’t follow anything more challenging than a really challenging thing. And if you answered no or maybe to some of these questions then you should be ashamed of yourself, but you probably aren’t, so maybe you should just give your money to David David anyway because he’s earned it by being far cooler than you. Whatever...Death By Zamboni deserves to be read. Can you handle it? Are you man enough to handle it? Do you know what it takes to read Death By Zamboni? It takes brass balls to read Death By Zamboni. Now sway your hips. Do you hear that clickety clack? Death By Zamboni really is for you.
1. Have you ever clamped clothes pins on your genitals?
2. Do acid flashbacks accompany thoughts of the Gibb brothers?
3. Have you ever uttered "Zoinks" without intentionally referencing Saturday Morning Cartoons?
4. Have you ever fantasized about making love to someone in mouse ears?
5. Do you prefer your comedians tripped out on amphetamines?
6. Is your personal contact with sweatshops a weekend “Rollback” the prices excursion to Wal-Mart™?
7. Do you get all angsty when you hear the promo words “Who will be voted out tonight?”
8. Are you a fan of books that are “too-sexy-for-maiden-aunts”?
9. Gouda?
10. Do you see things in a Rorschach test?
11. Have you ever, either in this life or the next, made love to a mime after it mimed its way through a death match with Jewish hitmen?
12. Do you see the connection between “it” and “is”?
13. Pink banana hammocks?
14. Do you hide your reading problem from friends and family?
15. Satan Donuts?
16. Does bowling in and around seminal fluid turn you off?
17. Have you ever ridden a Zamboni (nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more, say no more)?
18. Do you have a conscience?
19. Are you a superfreak?
August 30, 2008
I should read this.
December 29, 2019
D by Z by D D Katz is Bizarro. Coming into it expecting anything else will raise zombie-colored flags in milliseconds. And to think I did. And encountered feral mimes on my way in, and then spiraled back, and laughed, entranced ecstatically, I swear I did, on every page. Because almost every book can teach you something you didn't know about writing and thinking, noticeably this one, and repeatedly, as in the concept of surprise and delight, which occurs inevitably behind each door - even the one behind the toilet roll dispenser. A quick and mind-altering laugh and memorable, irreverent scenes makes for a pleasantly dispensed tale, which, through unapologetic satire, is fresh. It is a random collage of dream-logic, but in many instances the author rewards brain-usage. Unconventional chills, thrills and automobiles but not a single zamboni in sight...
May 6, 2009
Sometimes we play this little game around the dinner table. It is called "That's Absurd!" It is a fun game and we all take turns trying out our best lines. "I rode my plastic chicken to school while he laid candy eggs" is an all-time game favorite. So, when I first heard about Satan Donut I knew that good times were ahead, blue skies, candy corn smiles, and monstrous glazed turkey legs, that kind they breed to eat just at carnivals and fairs.
Thanks to this book, I am now going to win "That's Absurd!" every stinking time, although I won't be able to shout out "Wild-dingoes-ate-my-baby-sex" or "Mickey Mouse is a child molester!" among my little humans. I'll save those for those quiet "nibble-on-your-partner's-ear" times. But these will most certainly work, and are sure to be winners:
"We ate nothing but mayonnaise and steam. Sometimes I would cuddle up with a jar of mayonnaise (my only friend) and dream of a better day when I might actually have pants"
"Just the other day, I was drilling around my appendix when I discovered a large gold deposit. Now I'm rich!"
So thank you, thank you, David David, for your absurdist noir escapade with biting social commentary added at no extra charge to the reader. I have mined this work of your fertile and sometimes over ripe imagination and come out on the other side a weary dwarf with writer's cramp.
Let the game begin!
April 17, 2009
WTF?
Really...that's all I've got. And, I love zombies. And, Etta Donut was awesome.
D2, you're a strange man.
Really...that's all I've got. And, I love zombies. And, Etta Donut was awesome.
D2, you're a strange man.
February 12, 2010
You can tell that David David had a hell of a good time writing Death by Zamoboni. This is one funny book. The word play is hilarious, bringing to mind Groucho Marx on crank. The story is a simple enough detective-trying-to-find-missing-spouse story line. The best thing about Zamboni is not necessarily the story line, but, instead the narrative voice (the singer not the song). Katzman is a very funny man. He gets so twisted up in some of his word play and surreal tangents that you wonder if he is going to be able to loop back into the story without it seeming forced. But he always sticks his landing from his bizarre little sidetrips and the story is all the better for such efforts. I look forward to seeing if he plans on writing any other books. I hope so.
June 14, 2017
DDK's books remind me how much I like reading, laughing, thinking, pink sprinkly donuts, and breathing.
I pulled this little guy off my bookshelf and re-read it. I first read Death By Zamboni 10 years ago, when I was a high-spirited wild-child (well...child-ish anyway). Since that first reading I have grown into a cynical and materialistic wild-adult (well...wild-ish anyway). Death by Zamboni reminds me that it's ok to be cynical and materialistic, but it's so much more fun to be a child.
The book reads like an Alexander Calder sculpture. I laughed out loud while turning pages, and I cried when the last pink sprinkly donut page was turned. I LIKE donuts, but I LOVE Satan Donut. Let me just say, if my spouse went missing, Detective Donut would be my first and last call.
I pulled this little guy off my bookshelf and re-read it. I first read Death By Zamboni 10 years ago, when I was a high-spirited wild-child (well...child-ish anyway). Since that first reading I have grown into a cynical and materialistic wild-adult (well...wild-ish anyway). Death by Zamboni reminds me that it's ok to be cynical and materialistic, but it's so much more fun to be a child.
The book reads like an Alexander Calder sculpture. I laughed out loud while turning pages, and I cried when the last pink sprinkly donut page was turned. I LIKE donuts, but I LOVE Satan Donut. Let me just say, if my spouse went missing, Detective Donut would be my first and last call.
March 30, 2009
This book is a lot like my most memorable poop. It announced itself in grand fashion as it splashed into the toilet like a man doing a belly flop into a pool. But it wasn't just any man doing a belly flop. It was a foot-long, chubby, cylindrical, brown man with pieces of corn and tomato stuck to him. This man smelled like death. His stench made many men and women (who happened to be in the unisex public restroom at the time) vomit and lose consciousness. His smell didn't bother me. In fact, I rather enjoyed it. I didn't want to flush him away. His unsubmerged half was climbing up the toilet bowl like one of the creepy undead guys from Michael Jackson's "Thriller" video clawing his way out of a grave. He said: "You love me. You really, really love me!" He was right. I smiled. I did love him. But if you love something, you must let it go. I said goodbye, flushed the toilet, and left the bathroom. I couldn't bear to see him go, so I didn't wait to see if he had been successfully flushed. As I made my way back to my front row seats at the Michael Bublé Christmas Concert at the Verizon Center, I heard the water hit the floor.
April 3, 2011
Wow. Experimental. To the max. Hardcore. A bender of a trip. A unique narration, think about Christopher Moore breeding with Tarintino’s hyperactive and lacerating dialogue, and an avant-garde artist filled in the punctuation with random bouts of weirdness. Katzman has managed to piece together the chaos in his head and create something well-written, well-rounded (definitely), and surprisingly entertaining for anyone with a taste for edgy experimental fiction. He has introduced less conventional and yet eye-catching formations into his prose using interesting chapter titles and arrangements, and at times, plays with word placement/definitions by using grids or hand written displays.
“Death By Zamboni” is filled with humorous and boundary-breaking descriptions, understandable but ridiculous and oh-so great all at once, example, “Damn hot. The kind of heat that causes the H2 to divorce 0, and Hall to break up with Oats.”
The “experimental” side in Death By Zamboni definitely came out with things I didn’t quite understand but nonetheless adored its charm, like how the capital “Os” were always written with zero (0), or why everybody’s name was crack-piped out, such as Satan Donut, Vagina, Deltoid, Spank. You almost expect to see the next person’s name to be something along the lines of Lychee or Coitus, and surprisingly, one of the book’s biggest surprises is a character named Jenny.
There is definitely no shortage of surprise twists and turns in this book, for me it was like migrating through a corn maze (the horror film type) ridden with nerve gas and land mines, which upon inhalation and detonation sent me to another dimension of wackiness and random happenings.
This is a complex read, it isn’t breezy or for the faint at heart or easily offended, and definitely worth checking out.
“Death By Zamboni” is filled with humorous and boundary-breaking descriptions, understandable but ridiculous and oh-so great all at once, example, “Damn hot. The kind of heat that causes the H2 to divorce 0, and Hall to break up with Oats.”
The “experimental” side in Death By Zamboni definitely came out with things I didn’t quite understand but nonetheless adored its charm, like how the capital “Os” were always written with zero (0), or why everybody’s name was crack-piped out, such as Satan Donut, Vagina, Deltoid, Spank. You almost expect to see the next person’s name to be something along the lines of Lychee or Coitus, and surprisingly, one of the book’s biggest surprises is a character named Jenny.
There is definitely no shortage of surprise twists and turns in this book, for me it was like migrating through a corn maze (the horror film type) ridden with nerve gas and land mines, which upon inhalation and detonation sent me to another dimension of wackiness and random happenings.
This is a complex read, it isn’t breezy or for the faint at heart or easily offended, and definitely worth checking out.
April 14, 2018
This one has been on the TBR list for a long time. I am glad I finally picked it up. After experiencing the way out there psychedelic mindfuck of "A Greater Monster," I honestly did not know what I was going to get. Much lighter and playful in tone, Death by Zamboni brings the humor in spades. While not the most accurate description, you could call this a detective novel that doesn't take it self too seriously. The highlight for me is the cleverness that dominates from beginning to end. DbZ is not just silly, but seriously funny and hit me in all of the right places...entertaining and amusing.
April 1, 2008
David David Katzman, Death by Zamboni (Bedhead Books, 1999)
Death by Zamboni, a little self-published effort (as far as I can tell in my admittedly sloppy research), first came to my attention when someone-- I forget who-- joined a booklist I'm a member of and listed it as one of his favorite books. I have often wondered idly whether it wasn't the author doing a bit of self-promotion under an assumed name in the intervening years, but hey, I'm not going to castigate anyone for stacking the deck (unless said author wanders off and forgets the little guys after he gets big; we also had a visit from Dan Brown at one point). It stayed in the back of my head, so I finally got round to picking up a copy with my Christmas gift certificate. And I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised by it. Not by its humor, which all too often fell flat (your mileage may vary, of course; I have a sense of humor that's sometimes tough to crack), but because of its author's oddly endearing insights into human nature.
The story centers around private detective Satan Donut (whose name should give you an idea of where the humor in this book is going), who is tasked by a sultry blonde to find her missing husband, a scientist. However, relatively little of the book's length is devoted to its storyline, so you might as well forget it. At least half the book is taken up by emails between Satan and his sister, Etta Donut, the lead singer in a punk band (and part-time entertainer-for-hire with a fetish for Minnie Mouse suits).
On the down side, the book is written at about the level you expect from a self-published book; it has very little sense of pace, there's next to no character development, the humor may manage to pull itself out of the mind of an horny thirteen-year-old once or twice. But balancing the book's deficiencies are strengths. For one thing, while Katzman could probably use a few classes on the niceties of writing, he's got raw talent in spades; this is a book that you'll have to force yourself to put down, even when you feel like flinging it across the room. And once Satan gets into a serious conversation, Katzman really takes off; while I won't say I mistook any of this for Sartre, if you turn your head and squint just right...
A fun little tale, quite enjoyable in its own twisted way. Certainly not for everyone, but buy a copy anyway. If it's not for you, someone you know will enjoy it. ***
Death by Zamboni, a little self-published effort (as far as I can tell in my admittedly sloppy research), first came to my attention when someone-- I forget who-- joined a booklist I'm a member of and listed it as one of his favorite books. I have often wondered idly whether it wasn't the author doing a bit of self-promotion under an assumed name in the intervening years, but hey, I'm not going to castigate anyone for stacking the deck (unless said author wanders off and forgets the little guys after he gets big; we also had a visit from Dan Brown at one point). It stayed in the back of my head, so I finally got round to picking up a copy with my Christmas gift certificate. And I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised by it. Not by its humor, which all too often fell flat (your mileage may vary, of course; I have a sense of humor that's sometimes tough to crack), but because of its author's oddly endearing insights into human nature.
The story centers around private detective Satan Donut (whose name should give you an idea of where the humor in this book is going), who is tasked by a sultry blonde to find her missing husband, a scientist. However, relatively little of the book's length is devoted to its storyline, so you might as well forget it. At least half the book is taken up by emails between Satan and his sister, Etta Donut, the lead singer in a punk band (and part-time entertainer-for-hire with a fetish for Minnie Mouse suits).
On the down side, the book is written at about the level you expect from a self-published book; it has very little sense of pace, there's next to no character development, the humor may manage to pull itself out of the mind of an horny thirteen-year-old once or twice. But balancing the book's deficiencies are strengths. For one thing, while Katzman could probably use a few classes on the niceties of writing, he's got raw talent in spades; this is a book that you'll have to force yourself to put down, even when you feel like flinging it across the room. And once Satan gets into a serious conversation, Katzman really takes off; while I won't say I mistook any of this for Sartre, if you turn your head and squint just right...
A fun little tale, quite enjoyable in its own twisted way. Certainly not for everyone, but buy a copy anyway. If it's not for you, someone you know will enjoy it. ***
August 6, 2010
"Death by Zamboni" earns a place on the very exclusive shelf reserved for such works as Don DeLillo's White Noise , or Paul Auster's New York Trilogy . Here is an example of the kind of biting, mordant wit that you can expect to find therein:
Behind the front desk was a security guard whose nametag identified him as "Jimmy". I took out the corn on the cob I had in my pocket and struck him on the head with it. The cob broke, but he went down like a ton of bricks. Jimmy cracked corn, and I don't care.
Besides being chock-a-block with myriad examples of this kind of hilarity, the book is suffused throughout with the kind of manic exuberance that suggests that the author (possibly intoxicated with his own brilliance) certainly enjoyed writing it, probably far more than anyone could ever hope to enjoy reading it.
Behind the front desk was a security guard whose nametag identified him as "Jimmy". I took out the corn on the cob I had in my pocket and struck him on the head with it. The cob broke, but he went down like a ton of bricks. Jimmy cracked corn, and I don't care.
Besides being chock-a-block with myriad examples of this kind of hilarity, the book is suffused throughout with the kind of manic exuberance that suggests that the author (possibly intoxicated with his own brilliance) certainly enjoyed writing it, probably far more than anyone could ever hope to enjoy reading it.
January 9, 2010
this is the zaniest thing I've ever read...?*&%$#@!
Shit I just added a whole bit to this review and lost it! How did that happen?!
all right...trying again:
my advice: read it in one sitting. or two. Best to not break the rhythm. I didn't do this and found it harder to re-enter Katzman's zany world. I might've been better prepared if my parents hadn't deprived me of television and cartoons when I was a kid (always useful to blame the parents). I had to come up for air quite often...
Katzman is a very funny guy. I'd love to see him do the improv. theatre and comedy I've heard him talk about.
On surer footing, I can tell you that as an objet d'art, this book is 5 stars + . It's exceptionally well-designed, from the cover art to the matte finish, to the book size, the paper quality, the typeface and the variety of typography within. And I love how each chapter has a sponsor. Incredibly inventive & well-done.
Shit I just added a whole bit to this review and lost it! How did that happen?!
all right...trying again:
my advice: read it in one sitting. or two. Best to not break the rhythm. I didn't do this and found it harder to re-enter Katzman's zany world. I might've been better prepared if my parents hadn't deprived me of television and cartoons when I was a kid (always useful to blame the parents). I had to come up for air quite often...
Katzman is a very funny guy. I'd love to see him do the improv. theatre and comedy I've heard him talk about.
On surer footing, I can tell you that as an objet d'art, this book is 5 stars + . It's exceptionally well-designed, from the cover art to the matte finish, to the book size, the paper quality, the typeface and the variety of typography within. And I love how each chapter has a sponsor. Incredibly inventive & well-done.
January 26, 2010
Private Eye Satan Donut goes on a treasure hunt to solve a mysterious disappearance. While he's on this fantastic voyage, a lot of very strange things happen including but not limited to the fact that Satan and his sister, riot grrl and writer of bad poetry, Etta Donut, must dress up as Mini and Mickey Mouse respectively in order to hunt down the Hebraic Hitmen, who are the only ones who can tell them where to find the mimes that will eventually lead them to the person they're looking for. Don't worry though the story doesn't end there, oh no, there's a lot more at the end that I'm not going to tell you about.
The number one thing I enjoyed about this book is the tongue in cheek humor. For instance on page 162 Satan realizes he hadn't cleaned his kitchen and he finds a paramecium named Carl who told him a few jokes that were quite cilia. It's these moments that make the book quite good.
I also, liked that each chapter has a sponsor from the commercial-entertainment state of degradation. For instance the last chapter of the book is sponsored by Monsanto-Wal-Mart-General Motors-Shell-Phillip Morris-NBC-Mary Kay, Inc. Owning your soul since 2001.
And last but certainly not least, if you have crazy parents who call you at the most inappropriate times, like when a mad scientist is about to morph you into a cockroach so you can survive the next apocalypse, then you should most certainly pick up this enjoyable book from David2 today! Just don't tell him I told you that, ok? Thanks :)
The number one thing I enjoyed about this book is the tongue in cheek humor. For instance on page 162 Satan realizes he hadn't cleaned his kitchen and he finds a paramecium named Carl who told him a few jokes that were quite cilia. It's these moments that make the book quite good.
I also, liked that each chapter has a sponsor from the commercial-entertainment state of degradation. For instance the last chapter of the book is sponsored by Monsanto-Wal-Mart-General Motors-Shell-Phillip Morris-NBC-Mary Kay, Inc. Owning your soul since 2001.
And last but certainly not least, if you have crazy parents who call you at the most inappropriate times, like when a mad scientist is about to morph you into a cockroach so you can survive the next apocalypse, then you should most certainly pick up this enjoyable book from David2 today! Just don't tell him I told you that, ok? Thanks :)
December 23, 2009
Escapism laced with the social commentary equitable to an old Betty Boop cartoon: only less offensive and far more colorful.
There are quite a few anti-depressant prescriptions that could easily be replaced by a healthy dose of absurdity, an abundance of which Katzman offers readers in his ridiculous, mind-bending, awfully-fabulous book Death by Zamboni. I recommend this to anyone who takes life or his/herself too seriously, but I doubt any such people would ever read this book--such is life.
I will not likely ever get over Grandma Fred's tumble, and I will probably quote this book as I used to Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, whenever I feel remorse over never having experimented with designer drugs during my rebellious youth. But, as I said before, this book is better than drugs because it's only twelve bucks (less than that used) and there are no needles nor pesky pills to swallow or bitter dissolvable strips to lay upon a wary tongue, only words to ingest at the reader's whim.
The disclaimer alone--likewise the blurbs--deserve five stars in this reader's mind.
There are quite a few anti-depressant prescriptions that could easily be replaced by a healthy dose of absurdity, an abundance of which Katzman offers readers in his ridiculous, mind-bending, awfully-fabulous book Death by Zamboni. I recommend this to anyone who takes life or his/herself too seriously, but I doubt any such people would ever read this book--such is life.
I will not likely ever get over Grandma Fred's tumble, and I will probably quote this book as I used to Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, whenever I feel remorse over never having experimented with designer drugs during my rebellious youth. But, as I said before, this book is better than drugs because it's only twelve bucks (less than that used) and there are no needles nor pesky pills to swallow or bitter dissolvable strips to lay upon a wary tongue, only words to ingest at the reader's whim.
The disclaimer alone--likewise the blurbs--deserve five stars in this reader's mind.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 5, 2014
Signed by Author!
Ok. This is a very quick, intensely twisted, trippy novel of a private detective who is quite likely out of his mind.
Katzman's novel reads like a lucid dream, or a drug laced spoof on detective noir. Similar to what Scary Movie was to Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer....
Ok. This is a very quick, intensely twisted, trippy novel of a private detective who is quite likely out of his mind.
Katzman's novel reads like a lucid dream, or a drug laced spoof on detective noir. Similar to what Scary Movie was to Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer....
June 26, 2014
Book Info: Genre: Satire/Parody of PI Noir
Reading Level: Adult
Tense, Person, POV: Past tense, first person, POV of narrator
Recommended for: people who like bizarro and satire/parodies
My Thoughts: This book is... I don't even know what to say about it. Bizarre. Crazy. Disheveled. And I quite enjoyed reading it. Be sure to check out the "sponsored by..." located next to each chapter number. Honestly, there are times this book reminds me of a short parody of a PI novel that I wrote back in high school, but much better done, of course. Some examples to give you a taste for the book (in which there are no zambonis, by the way):
Disclosure: I won this book in a giveaway. All opinions are my own.
Synopsis: A sweeping American romance spanning five American generations in America.
Oh, wait, that's some other crappy novel. In “Death by Zamboni”, you'll follow our anti-hero Satan Donut through a world of mimes, TV stars, zombies, blockheads, mad scientists, riot girls, and werewolves. This genre-busting satire shish-kabobs the commercial-entertainment state which degrades our lives and makes everyone stupid. But on a happy note, at least you've got your health.
Reading Level: Adult
Tense, Person, POV: Past tense, first person, POV of narrator
Recommended for: people who like bizarro and satire/parodies
My Thoughts: This book is... I don't even know what to say about it. Bizarre. Crazy. Disheveled. And I quite enjoyed reading it. Be sure to check out the "sponsored by..." located next to each chapter number. Honestly, there are times this book reminds me of a short parody of a PI novel that I wrote back in high school, but much better done, of course. Some examples to give you a taste for the book (in which there are no zambonis, by the way):
“Remember when you were a kid letting Elmer's® Glue dry on your fingertips or making hand casts out of Elmer's® and then peeling them off? Remember trying to plug your butt-hole with Elmer's® because you were afraid the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse were going to come riding out of your rear and this world was going to end? Don't worry, we've all done that at one time or another. Her perfume reminded me of those times.”Basically, I laughed a lot. And that, for me, is a highly successful read. If you like bizarro, parodies or satire of PI novels, or just something really strange, then check this book out.
“I smelled danger, so I decided to pack some serious artillery. While working on my last case—The Case of the Juggler's Jugular—I unfortunately allowed myself to be dangerously unprepared. I was in a bathroom stall taking a dump when I was surrounded by two Doberman pinschers, four gang-bangers, five dirty cops, six ninja assassins, twenty members of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and a partridge in a pear tree. All trying to kill me. The only weapons I had on me were a rubber band and a Pez® dispenser. Fortunately, I'm a master of Pez® Fu, but it was still a tough fight for the first twenty-two minutes.”
Disclosure: I won this book in a giveaway. All opinions are my own.
Synopsis: A sweeping American romance spanning five American generations in America.
Oh, wait, that's some other crappy novel. In “Death by Zamboni”, you'll follow our anti-hero Satan Donut through a world of mimes, TV stars, zombies, blockheads, mad scientists, riot girls, and werewolves. This genre-busting satire shish-kabobs the commercial-entertainment state which degrades our lives and makes everyone stupid. But on a happy note, at least you've got your health.
August 12, 2016
Death by Zamboni sleuths in capers like Encyclopedia Brown if he were a noir Bugsy, winking nods at the far side, while doing the pee dance with a Monty Python.
Now that I've gotten your attention, let me just begin by saying that DDK® didn't write this book- I did. At least that's what echoed out of my head as the inside read words he'd placed there. That is to say, it is a book for all seasons and great minds alike. It's quite something to discover your very own twin exists inside the author of a book!
I mean... haven't you ever wondered what the dialogue roving through another person's head looks like? Could another be contemplating the same thoughts as your very own? Read it and find out for yourself!
Also, where did such specifically used references which quantify as deja vu familiar, come from? Things only carry resonance when you've felt them enter your own axis of lifetime- could that be part its magic? What is it "they" say? A genius is one who can illustrate that which we cannot draw for ourselves? Perhaps this is a testament to that very skill.
Bonus: This book also comes dressed up in song and makes its reader jig in its giggle-hardy cleverness.
To whit! This page-turner is liberally sprinkled with it, in every nook and cranny, like a generous dose of salt over your shoulder. I know it brought me a sense of luck as I toted it from place to place in my back pocket. Much like the misfit penny I stumbled upon, I was so glad to have made this book's acquaintance!
Dare I additionally mention falling prey to its puns? Riddled into visual free-form, where once they were naught? Imagine it parallels breathing life into limb. From manna into man or in other words- this takes the cake and IS the body of Christ.
I read a lot of children's books. Mainly to experience the verve and vivacity of imagination. A limitless world, unlike one we live in, which shoeboxes and shelves our creativity- as if it is something we should outgrow. Though, real growth lies in keeping ourselves open to all we can imagine as well as that which we cannot. Katzman's work is syruped in playful imagining, without reducing itself via censorship. It retains a language of our familiars, as adults i.e. the profane may be present but is not apologetically masked. Instead, it waltzes around unabashedly with its hairy Cousin It.
In conclusion, I am a book collector. A purveyor of fine literature who, like the Comic Book Guy, prefers a pristine edition. However, this book (which I prize) rests now, undeniably bent in an arc not unlike McDonalds®. I fell swoop too far into its hinges and in my great focus of it, lost track of my senses. I swam through it complete in a few short sittings and rode through it like a wreck. Or at least that's the shape it's in now, compared to my other novels. Apparently, it's a must-read.. you need not think twice!
Now that I've gotten your attention, let me just begin by saying that DDK® didn't write this book- I did. At least that's what echoed out of my head as the inside read words he'd placed there. That is to say, it is a book for all seasons and great minds alike. It's quite something to discover your very own twin exists inside the author of a book!
I mean... haven't you ever wondered what the dialogue roving through another person's head looks like? Could another be contemplating the same thoughts as your very own? Read it and find out for yourself!
Also, where did such specifically used references which quantify as deja vu familiar, come from? Things only carry resonance when you've felt them enter your own axis of lifetime- could that be part its magic? What is it "they" say? A genius is one who can illustrate that which we cannot draw for ourselves? Perhaps this is a testament to that very skill.
Bonus: This book also comes dressed up in song and makes its reader jig in its giggle-hardy cleverness.
To whit! This page-turner is liberally sprinkled with it, in every nook and cranny, like a generous dose of salt over your shoulder. I know it brought me a sense of luck as I toted it from place to place in my back pocket. Much like the misfit penny I stumbled upon, I was so glad to have made this book's acquaintance!
Dare I additionally mention falling prey to its puns? Riddled into visual free-form, where once they were naught? Imagine it parallels breathing life into limb. From manna into man or in other words- this takes the cake and IS the body of Christ.
I read a lot of children's books. Mainly to experience the verve and vivacity of imagination. A limitless world, unlike one we live in, which shoeboxes and shelves our creativity- as if it is something we should outgrow. Though, real growth lies in keeping ourselves open to all we can imagine as well as that which we cannot. Katzman's work is syruped in playful imagining, without reducing itself via censorship. It retains a language of our familiars, as adults i.e. the profane may be present but is not apologetically masked. Instead, it waltzes around unabashedly with its hairy Cousin It.
In conclusion, I am a book collector. A purveyor of fine literature who, like the Comic Book Guy, prefers a pristine edition. However, this book (which I prize) rests now, undeniably bent in an arc not unlike McDonalds®. I fell swoop too far into its hinges and in my great focus of it, lost track of my senses. I swam through it complete in a few short sittings and rode through it like a wreck. Or at least that's the shape it's in now, compared to my other novels. Apparently, it's a must-read.. you need not think twice!
February 19, 2010
WARNING: Some spoilers!
There is no way around it: you have to like nonlinearity, digression clever word play, and randomness to like this book. Do henchman-mimes do it for you? If they do, you'll like this book. Do you like the idea of Bruce Willis getting his groin bit off?
Luckily, I enjoy these types of things from time to time. And I can suspend my disbelief long enough to get through a bizzaro book (is that the right term?) like this one.
You have to suspend more than your disbelief, you also have to suspend your sense of scale. You have to believe, for example, that Abrams Tanks can pulled out of someone's pocket on a second's notice.
As for the main character--though the book is abstract and bizzaro, it also has a hard-boiled detective. I'm not sure this is the fairest comparison, but the main character/ narrator reminded me a lot of Fletch. You remember, the 80s Chevy Chase detective with the one-liners (it was also a novel). That's not a bad thing. Fletch was probably the last great Chevy Chase movie ever made.
I also think linguists would like this book. The most enjoyable part of this book for me was having to watch carefully everything I read. The author constantly tricks you into misreading everything. One example is when the character says he comes in "guns a-blazing." You have to be suspicious enough at this point so that you're not caught off guard a paragraph later when he's trying to put out the fire that has started because of his guns.
In short if you like word play, random references, random everything, silliness, and Fletch one-liners, this book will probably be for you.
There is no way around it: you have to like nonlinearity, digression clever word play, and randomness to like this book. Do henchman-mimes do it for you? If they do, you'll like this book. Do you like the idea of Bruce Willis getting his groin bit off?
Luckily, I enjoy these types of things from time to time. And I can suspend my disbelief long enough to get through a bizzaro book (is that the right term?) like this one.
You have to suspend more than your disbelief, you also have to suspend your sense of scale. You have to believe, for example, that Abrams Tanks can pulled out of someone's pocket on a second's notice.
As for the main character--though the book is abstract and bizzaro, it also has a hard-boiled detective. I'm not sure this is the fairest comparison, but the main character/ narrator reminded me a lot of Fletch. You remember, the 80s Chevy Chase detective with the one-liners (it was also a novel). That's not a bad thing. Fletch was probably the last great Chevy Chase movie ever made.
I also think linguists would like this book. The most enjoyable part of this book for me was having to watch carefully everything I read. The author constantly tricks you into misreading everything. One example is when the character says he comes in "guns a-blazing." You have to be suspicious enough at this point so that you're not caught off guard a paragraph later when he's trying to put out the fire that has started because of his guns.
In short if you like word play, random references, random everything, silliness, and Fletch one-liners, this book will probably be for you.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 8, 2011
This is not your average sweet American tale about a young man's journey for redemption. No seriously, it's not even close to that...it's better and much more hilarious. My advice is to strap on a pair of Depends undergarments or just read while on the pot because you're going to laugh so hard you'll pee. I'm not sure how Katzman's does it, but his tongue-in-cheek humor is effortless and plays on so many expressions that we've grown up with, listened to, and as children wondered what the hell does that even mean, and when no one can explain, we resign. My favorite parts include the action-interrupting phone calls from Mom, with Dad on the other line. Oh Jesus, if this doesn't make milk come out your nose until you blow milky snot bubbles, I don't know what will! Check your pulse, because obviously a mime has turned you into a humorless zombie during a commercial break. If you don't 'get it' you're probably not old enough and it's past your bedtime anyways. So what do I really think? It's Christmas in July. Go out, or order this book online and stuff it in the stockings of every relative and co-worker. Better yet, display it on your coffee table so your in- laws have something to browse when they visit. Everyone knows a sense of humor is the most attractive attribute and owning this book will prove yours to all!
March 24, 2012
Amazing
I love bizarro stories, I love wild and crazy—I mean, so wild and crazy that you completely forget your own name. But I also like a complete story, an adventure, a quest, a mystery to solve.
This book melds both perfectly together.
Throughout we have the mystery of the missing man, and our PI is hot (well, not hot, more like lukewarm, well no, more like cold coffee warm, no, not really. He’s really cold, but he still isn’t too bad). Anyway... there is a definite storyline here that is structured and established. There is also enough ridiculousness that one is never quite sure what comes next. And what comes next may be a new twist in the investigation, or something so silly you can’t stop laughing.
It is very cleverly written, and there are moments where you think your hand holds firmly to sanity, and then it is kicked away violently by a steel-toed boot. The boot, of course, belonging to a mime.
Get this. Read it. If you like the strange and the bizarre, and don’t mind having your brain explode right outside of your skull. It feels so good!
And a shout-out to Peter Sellers? Classic!
I love bizarro stories, I love wild and crazy—I mean, so wild and crazy that you completely forget your own name. But I also like a complete story, an adventure, a quest, a mystery to solve.
This book melds both perfectly together.
Throughout we have the mystery of the missing man, and our PI is hot (well, not hot, more like lukewarm, well no, more like cold coffee warm, no, not really. He’s really cold, but he still isn’t too bad). Anyway... there is a definite storyline here that is structured and established. There is also enough ridiculousness that one is never quite sure what comes next. And what comes next may be a new twist in the investigation, or something so silly you can’t stop laughing.
It is very cleverly written, and there are moments where you think your hand holds firmly to sanity, and then it is kicked away violently by a steel-toed boot. The boot, of course, belonging to a mime.
Get this. Read it. If you like the strange and the bizarre, and don’t mind having your brain explode right outside of your skull. It feels so good!
And a shout-out to Peter Sellers? Classic!
May 2, 2010
Exhaustively - and often exhaustingly - funny, this novel uses every comico-literary trick in the book: mixed metaphors, wildly over-extended metaphors ("You can't see the metaphorest for the trees"), parody, surrealist riffs on just about anything that pops into the author's head: they're all there. (A technical note: I love the ongoing game with speech verbs and, at one point and to great comic effect, their absence.) Genre-hopping from hard-boiled-private-eye-meets-dark-lady to mad-scientist-saves-the-world-by-destroying-humanity, with the unexpected casting of a group of mimes as the baddies, the book is finally almost too overjoyed by its own weirdness to sustain itself as, well, a book. But if you like the idea of a post-modern Groucho Marx crossed with an off-the-wall pop Oulipiste (and, let's face it, who doesn't?), you'll love this. Looking forward to the next one, D2!
January 20, 2014
I had a tremendous amount of fun reading this book. The humor is excellent and I love how fluid Katzman is in transitioning from one improbable idea to another. I do have to warn readers not to be misled by the title to be expecting zambonis, knowing how upset zamboni fanatics get when they are promised zambonis that never arrive, but anyone who loves wild and bizarre humor will dig this book. I had fun and Katzman is more David than I will ever be, primarily because I only have "David" once in my name. I think that says it all.
October 10, 2012
This is a book of dark humor. In other words if you are young you will love the book. Since I am not young I plan to have myself committed or at least in therapy soon because I liked it. There is not a sentence in this Zamboni epic that you can skip because you'll miss a clever and probably obscene point. If my kids read this review, please read the book, if my mother or business associates read this review, I was forced at gunpoint to write this.
October 29, 2009
I enjoyed the Marxian (as in Marx Bros) word play and silliness, the inventiveness and weirdness, the mother (& father) on the phone telling her son about their day as he is about to be killed/mutilated/transformed into an insect. I liked the satire on modern capitalism and culture. But the pace was too frenetic for an old man like me. David David Katzman you are fucking nuts.
November 10, 2011
Chicago author David David has one of my favorite names, twice, so I guess I might be biased. I'm not always drawn to weird, silly books, but this one is just crazy good. It kept a puzzled smile on my face the whole time. It's like a detective story gone bonkers. Reminds me of Exponential Apocalypse by another contemporary mad-scientist author guy Eirik Gumeny who's equally as crazy, but doesn't have as cool a name as David David. Reading for pure fun and entertainment doesn't getting any better than this.
January 25, 2010
Excellent use of language and pun-related cleverness. I rather liked the fact that in some places I couldn't tell if I didn't get it because it was just absurd and there was nothing to get, or if I didn't get it because the author was referencing something I wasn't familiar with.
I caught at least one spelling error, (doberman pinchers), but then I found words spelled wrong on purpose to make a joke and I wasn't sure if there was some hilarious pincher joke I was missing out on.
I could have done with a little less bathroom humor, but that's really my only complaint.
I caught at least one spelling error, (doberman pinchers), but then I found words spelled wrong on purpose to make a joke and I wasn't sure if there was some hilarious pincher joke I was missing out on.
I could have done with a little less bathroom humor, but that's really my only complaint.
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