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The Darkest of Shadows
Some secrets are better kept in the darkest recesses of our mind. Lilly's past is one big secret; one big terrifying reality that threatens to drag her into the blackest depths of insanity.
The only way for her to escape was to leave it all behind. A new path. A new country. A new job. A new life. But would it be enough? Especially when the rest of the world continued to encroach on her protected little bubble of existence.
It took Lawrence Monterey one chance meeting to know that there was something special about Lilly. Something worth the trouble, and the heartache, of fighting through her past to find out who she really was. He had the money, the power and the patience, to make sure that Lilly came through the darkness, and became his in every way.
Tragedy can break people, but love can bring them back from the brink, and just possibly build a stronger wall between life, and that dangerous darkness that threatens to end the pain of living.
Would Lilly’s past break her? Or would Lawrence lead her out of the darkness and back into the light?
The only way for her to escape was to leave it all behind. A new path. A new country. A new job. A new life. But would it be enough? Especially when the rest of the world continued to encroach on her protected little bubble of existence.
It took Lawrence Monterey one chance meeting to know that there was something special about Lilly. Something worth the trouble, and the heartache, of fighting through her past to find out who she really was. He had the money, the power and the patience, to make sure that Lilly came through the darkness, and became his in every way.
Tragedy can break people, but love can bring them back from the brink, and just possibly build a stronger wall between life, and that dangerous darkness that threatens to end the pain of living.
Would Lilly’s past break her? Or would Lawrence lead her out of the darkness and back into the light?
381 pages, Kindle Edition
First published November 1, 2012
11 people are currently reading
301 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews
February 5, 2013
I have a thing for stories with damaged heroines. The more damaged the better. This book certainly delivered in that arena.
This is a story of a broken woman. A woman who lives her life without connection, without friends, without lovers. A woman who is trying to save herself, the only way she thinks she can.
...”I need you to understand that you can’t fix what’s wrong with me. I know you want to.” …”I know it’s part of what makes you special – that you want to fix everything that’s wrong with everyone – but I’m broken in a way that can’t be fixed.”
You aren’t told what happened to Lilly until the very end of the book. (though I guessed a good deal of it long before it was actually revealed) What leads up to that is a long, agonizing, sometimes tedious journey of healing. There were definitely times when I wanted to put this book down. Sometimes it felt like there was no progress being made at all, and then, all the sudden, there would be a small sign of movement, which would keep me hanging on. I could not give up on Lilly; I had to see her make her way out of the darkness, and back into the light.
Lawrence was an amazing character. I thought I knew what would happen between them, (he was certainly the alpha male type), but I was surprised. He handled Lilly with the perfect amount of care and concern. He understood her, like no one else, and made her safe, but not suffocated. The tight rope that he walked while trying to help her deal with her past was almost impossible to navigate, but he did it with few slip-ups. Lilly couldn’t have asked for a better partner.
I’m sure there will be people who think that there are parts that are too slow (and I might be one of them), but I loved Lilly, and Lawrence, and the wonderful cast of secondary characters enough that I can overlook that. The ending was perfect, and despite my worries, felt natural, and right.
I will definitely try other books by this author.
This is a story of a broken woman. A woman who lives her life without connection, without friends, without lovers. A woman who is trying to save herself, the only way she thinks she can.
...”I need you to understand that you can’t fix what’s wrong with me. I know you want to.” …”I know it’s part of what makes you special – that you want to fix everything that’s wrong with everyone – but I’m broken in a way that can’t be fixed.”
You aren’t told what happened to Lilly until the very end of the book. (though I guessed a good deal of it long before it was actually revealed) What leads up to that is a long, agonizing, sometimes tedious journey of healing. There were definitely times when I wanted to put this book down. Sometimes it felt like there was no progress being made at all, and then, all the sudden, there would be a small sign of movement, which would keep me hanging on. I could not give up on Lilly; I had to see her make her way out of the darkness, and back into the light.
Lawrence was an amazing character. I thought I knew what would happen between them, (he was certainly the alpha male type), but I was surprised. He handled Lilly with the perfect amount of care and concern. He understood her, like no one else, and made her safe, but not suffocated. The tight rope that he walked while trying to help her deal with her past was almost impossible to navigate, but he did it with few slip-ups. Lilly couldn’t have asked for a better partner.
I’m sure there will be people who think that there are parts that are too slow (and I might be one of them), but I loved Lilly, and Lawrence, and the wonderful cast of secondary characters enough that I can overlook that. The ending was perfect, and despite my worries, felt natural, and right.
I will definitely try other books by this author.
April 18, 2013
My opinion of this book can best be boiled down to...Blah...then Grrr. Although it was relatively shorter than other books I've read, it felt soooo long. I was well and truly bored. The only reason I kept reading was to find out Lilly's secret.
When it came to Lilly's past--at the risk of sounding completely void of compassion--I was expecting something more horrific. I was disappointed. The amount of melodrama wholly mislead me. It seemed disproportionate to her secret. At the end, all I could think was, "I just forced myself to read all of that for THAT?!" The entire book felt anti-climactic and overdone. There was no adrenaline. At all. Not when Lilly's kidnapped; not when she has her little "talk" with Patrick. Also, what's with the mystery identity of Lilly's texting companion for the first portion of the book? Why not just come out and say it's her sister? If the author wanted to conceal their relationship, the character could have simply been listed as Reed; it's an androgynous name. As it is, the mystery element was entirely unnecessary and frustrating.
There's nothing much to say in reference to the characters. Nothing, other than they mirrored Lilly. That is, there were rare, intermittent signs of life in the overall depressing impression.
Another issue: There was no heat. I wanted sex-sex; not summaries. Why bother incorporating a sexual element, if there's no zing? Quite a disappointment.
The ending is what really pushed me over the edge into one-star territory. Lilly is really annoying in the last chapter. Not only that, but I couldn't appreciate her I-love-you-but-I-have-a-dead-husband-so-I-will-never-marry-you spiel with Lawrence. Are you kidding me? I did not like this at all. It was confusing to Lawrence, and it was confusing to me. Not to mention, her argument was illogical and contradicted itself. If old Lilly still loves her dead husband but new Lilly will always love Lawrence, why can't the same logic be applied towards marriage? Why can't old Lilly stay married to her dead husband and new Lilly get married to Lawrence? I had no sympathy for her, or her dead husband; I only felt for Lawrence. If that makes me an unfeeling or prejudiced or ignorant b***h, so be it. By the way--if you can't tell--this was where the "Grrrr" kicked in.
Don't think Lawrence was exempt from my disappointment either. He was definitely an underdeveloped character. Not to mention, he and Lilly never clash. It made their relationship boring and staid.
In conclusion, this book was a struggle for me; I had to force myself to keep reading. Also, it would have been helpful if there was some indication of change in POV. As it is, it jumped from Lilly and Lawrence in a haphazard fashion with no warning, whatsoever.
When it came to Lilly's past--at the risk of sounding completely void of compassion--I was expecting something more horrific. I was disappointed. The amount of melodrama wholly mislead me. It seemed disproportionate to her secret. At the end, all I could think was, "I just forced myself to read all of that for THAT?!" The entire book felt anti-climactic and overdone. There was no adrenaline. At all. Not when Lilly's kidnapped; not when she has her little "talk" with Patrick. Also, what's with the mystery identity of Lilly's texting companion for the first portion of the book? Why not just come out and say it's her sister? If the author wanted to conceal their relationship, the character could have simply been listed as Reed; it's an androgynous name. As it is, the mystery element was entirely unnecessary and frustrating.
There's nothing much to say in reference to the characters. Nothing, other than they mirrored Lilly. That is, there were rare, intermittent signs of life in the overall depressing impression.
Another issue: There was no heat. I wanted sex-sex; not summaries. Why bother incorporating a sexual element, if there's no zing? Quite a disappointment.
The ending is what really pushed me over the edge into one-star territory. Lilly is really annoying in the last chapter. Not only that, but I couldn't appreciate her I-love-you-but-I-have-a-dead-husband-so-I-will-never-marry-you spiel with Lawrence. Are you kidding me? I did not like this at all. It was confusing to Lawrence, and it was confusing to me. Not to mention, her argument was illogical and contradicted itself. If old Lilly still loves her dead husband but new Lilly will always love Lawrence, why can't the same logic be applied towards marriage? Why can't old Lilly stay married to her dead husband and new Lilly get married to Lawrence? I had no sympathy for her, or her dead husband; I only felt for Lawrence. If that makes me an unfeeling or prejudiced or ignorant b***h, so be it. By the way--if you can't tell--this was where the "Grrrr" kicked in.
Don't think Lawrence was exempt from my disappointment either. He was definitely an underdeveloped character. Not to mention, he and Lilly never clash. It made their relationship boring and staid.
In conclusion, this book was a struggle for me; I had to force myself to keep reading. Also, it would have been helpful if there was some indication of change in POV. As it is, it jumped from Lilly and Lawrence in a haphazard fashion with no warning, whatsoever.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 25, 2013
2.5 Stars
I am not sure where to begin. The beginning of the story was great. Damaged woman who had something horrible happen to her and coping the only way she knows how.
Lilly is a very damaged woman. She doesn't like to connect with people, make friends, talk about her past, drink alcohol, or be touched. There were some inconsistencies with that though. She didn't want to be touched, but she shook hands and danced (even hugged). She didn't drink, so she says, but she drank scotch, got drunk once, and had a few other drinks...but she didn't drink. No making friends, but Sally was coming over to house and taking her on girly dates. See what doesn't add up?
Then there was the fact that she was attractive, or so she kept telling herself, and every man she meets must tell her how beautiful she is too. I get that you are God's gift to men, but just because they are sleeping with you doesn't mean they are going to fall in love with you after the first time. Talk about scaring someone off when you talk about love and marriage after the first time you sleep with someone! WOW! Did she really believe that these guys would fall head over heels in love with her and want to marry her? I guess I don't see the appeal that all these guys did.
Lawrence was great, but I didn't love him. He really did nothing for me. I saw that he really did love Lilly, but I didn't know how when she never let him in. She never told him anything. How can you love someone who holds VERY important secrets from you?
Is it wrong of me to think that Lilly's story wasn't all that bad? I was expecting something a lot worse considering the way she was.
I am not sure where to begin. The beginning of the story was great. Damaged woman who had something horrible happen to her and coping the only way she knows how.
Lilly is a very damaged woman. She doesn't like to connect with people, make friends, talk about her past, drink alcohol, or be touched. There were some inconsistencies with that though. She didn't want to be touched, but she shook hands and danced (even hugged). She didn't drink, so she says, but she drank scotch, got drunk once, and had a few other drinks...but she didn't drink. No making friends, but Sally was coming over to house and taking her on girly dates. See what doesn't add up?
Then there was the fact that she was attractive, or so she kept telling herself, and every man she meets must tell her how beautiful she is too. I get that you are God's gift to men, but just because they are sleeping with you doesn't mean they are going to fall in love with you after the first time. Talk about scaring someone off when you talk about love and marriage after the first time you sleep with someone! WOW! Did she really believe that these guys would fall head over heels in love with her and want to marry her? I guess I don't see the appeal that all these guys did.
Lawrence was great, but I didn't love him. He really did nothing for me. I saw that he really did love Lilly, but I didn't know how when she never let him in. She never told him anything. How can you love someone who holds VERY important secrets from you?
Is it wrong of me to think that Lilly's story wasn't all that bad? I was expecting something a lot worse considering the way she was.
March 7, 2013
Wow. This book was amazing. It slowly started out as okay but the more and more I got into the story, the better it got. It was a very well thought out and well written novel. There were a few grammatical and spelling errors but it didn't bother me so much since the story drew me in so well.
At the beginning I was a little disappointed when Lily ended with Patrick, even though I knew that she wasn't going to end up with him, but I have to say that I liked him. I had to warm up to Lawrence but the author did a good job of making me like him gradually.
I really loved Lawrence's character and the fact that he never once pushed Lilly, even though she kept claiming that she could never love him and that she can't give herself over completely to him. He really did seem to understand and was very patient with her. I really felt like he cared about her and loved her, without smothering her or making her feel like she was being controlled. I think that was also what I liked the best about their relationship, because don't get me wrong, the story line is very similar to that of Fifty Shades or the Cross series, but in those stories, the man just wants to control the woman, and the woman has no problem with that.
Lawrence was just patient and gave her boundaries but basically also let her be free and she warmed up to him in time.
This book was very well written and I would definitely recommend it.
At the beginning I was a little disappointed when Lily ended with Patrick, even though I knew that she wasn't going to end up with him, but I have to say that I liked him. I had to warm up to Lawrence but the author did a good job of making me like him gradually.
I really loved Lawrence's character and the fact that he never once pushed Lilly, even though she kept claiming that she could never love him and that she can't give herself over completely to him. He really did seem to understand and was very patient with her. I really felt like he cared about her and loved her, without smothering her or making her feel like she was being controlled. I think that was also what I liked the best about their relationship, because don't get me wrong, the story line is very similar to that of Fifty Shades or the Cross series, but in those stories, the man just wants to control the woman, and the woman has no problem with that.
Lawrence was just patient and gave her boundaries but basically also let her be free and she warmed up to him in time.
This book was very well written and I would definitely recommend it.
January 23, 2013
This book took me completely by surprise!! It was a slow read for me but it kept me interested throughout. I completely love Lilly's character... Although she was suffering in the inside, she put in such a strong show for everyone until she was ready to deal with what happened! I felt bad in the beginning with what happened with Patrick.. I thought he was the one however, a twist here and there and Lawrence was it! I really loved the characters and the story behind everyone! There was heartbreak, love, funnies and sadness but it was one hell of a story!!! Great read!
February 12, 2013
I really enjoyed this story. I was pulled in from the beginning and couldn't put it down until the end. This was a hard read for me as I personally know about survival's guilt. I found Lilly's story very believalbe and moving. I highly recommend this book. Thank you Lisse Smith for talking about life after loss and the constant struggle to move forward.
January 27, 2013
a dark, haunting read but affects you on a deep emotional level.
February 16, 2013
I'm finished with The Darkest of Shadows: LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS>.. WOW so under~rated!!!!!!
February 11, 2013
A readers read, this story does not move quickly, and it is a rather lengthy read, two things that were a nice change of pace. Great story, great writing. And it was only a dollar
April 21, 2013
SO GRATEFUL I SURVIVED THIS!...I think?, February 8, 2013
Amazon Verified Purchase
This review is from: The Darkest of Shadows (Kindle Edition)
I'm not really sure how I survived this long and torturous book but survived it I did! yey!! though I was tempted to rush to ER afterward to make sure that my heart was still beating and my brain still functioning. I was confused if I read the wrong book after seeing and reading all the five star reviews. The repetitive discussions about the business; type of business; what and where they held the business meetings; what menu they decided to serve for the meeting; who was present and not in the business meetings, who was the PA to what MD of different divisions...the heroines angst and unending text messages to some mysterious person (of which was not revealed whom till almost three quarters of the book) in a desperate attempt to make the readers think and anticipate there's something mysterious, intriguing or some kind of suspenseful moments coming ahead ...NOT!!! everything that was said was so redundant and unnecessary that I found myself nodding off (ho hum...yawn, sigh! yawn some more!) with an IV attached through my vein, jeez! It looked promising on the first two or three chapters but it only got a little interesting when the heroine finally met the hero and even that fizzled after they slept together ( it was suggested they had sex, that's right, but slept together as in the same bed is more apt! ) and everything went down hill from then on.
Honestly, I'm almost embarrassed to submit a review on this book, what with the many five star other Amazon reviewers so generously gave...however, I feel that it is necessary and just as reasonable for me to write one, so as not to mislead other readers and at least get them prepared for an agonizing and boring book they have yet to encounter...truly, I'm feeling a little forgiving and generous for the two stars I gave.
Amazon Verified Purchase
This review is from: The Darkest of Shadows (Kindle Edition)
I'm not really sure how I survived this long and torturous book but survived it I did! yey!! though I was tempted to rush to ER afterward to make sure that my heart was still beating and my brain still functioning. I was confused if I read the wrong book after seeing and reading all the five star reviews. The repetitive discussions about the business; type of business; what and where they held the business meetings; what menu they decided to serve for the meeting; who was present and not in the business meetings, who was the PA to what MD of different divisions...the heroines angst and unending text messages to some mysterious person (of which was not revealed whom till almost three quarters of the book) in a desperate attempt to make the readers think and anticipate there's something mysterious, intriguing or some kind of suspenseful moments coming ahead ...NOT!!! everything that was said was so redundant and unnecessary that I found myself nodding off (ho hum...yawn, sigh! yawn some more!) with an IV attached through my vein, jeez! It looked promising on the first two or three chapters but it only got a little interesting when the heroine finally met the hero and even that fizzled after they slept together ( it was suggested they had sex, that's right, but slept together as in the same bed is more apt! ) and everything went down hill from then on.
Honestly, I'm almost embarrassed to submit a review on this book, what with the many five star other Amazon reviewers so generously gave...however, I feel that it is necessary and just as reasonable for me to write one, so as not to mislead other readers and at least get them prepared for an agonizing and boring book they have yet to encounter...truly, I'm feeling a little forgiving and generous for the two stars I gave.
February 6, 2013
I tend to agree with some of the other reviews. whilst this is relatively well written, it would have been nice to learn a little more about Lawrence. Not only did we not understand his background or his motivation, but it seemed that Lilly and he never even had a conversation about it other than a brief mention about him having nieces. then all of a sudden a mother appears at the end. It also bugged me how often she referred to how attractive she was. Actually truth be told, that drive me nuts. Alright already, she knows she is tall, legs to die for and attractive, but the amount of times we had to hear about it! It bordered on a superficiality that was not in keeping with the rest of her character.
Overall though, it was an enjoyable read.
Overall though, it was an enjoyable read.
July 15, 2014
This book is beyond words and this author is amazing. It is so refreshing to read something that is different from everything else that is out right now. True, it has a billionaire H, but it is so much more than that. Lilly is so damaged that she believes she is not worthy of love or anything good in life. She shuts everyone out and lives in constant emotional pain. Then along comes Lawrence. He tries to show her how to live again and that she IS worthy. This is truly a great book and I would highly recommend it. Lisse Smith has an amazing talent and I really hope to hear a lot more from her.
January 4, 2018
The Happiest of Endings
This was a well written book with interesting well developed characters. The plot was not your typical romance and much of my enjoyment was in reading about the lifestyle of the super rich and the look inside the brain of someone trying to hold on to their sanity. I practically read this one with my fingers crossed hoping Lilly would not get to the point of no return. The writer made you fall in love with Lilly that she just had to give her a happy ending while knowing that in real life and mental disease it isn't necessarily so.
This was a well written book with interesting well developed characters. The plot was not your typical romance and much of my enjoyment was in reading about the lifestyle of the super rich and the look inside the brain of someone trying to hold on to their sanity. I practically read this one with my fingers crossed hoping Lilly would not get to the point of no return. The writer made you fall in love with Lilly that she just had to give her a happy ending while knowing that in real life and mental disease it isn't necessarily so.
January 29, 2013
And I had such high hopes... Maybe it's me but I feel like there should be a disclaimer. ***WARNING!*** At about pg 120 heroine has a personality transplant! Her issues & their cause were what drew me in & held my interest then *poof* from one page to the next she's miss sunshine & perfection. Just wanted to give a heads up, I don't think I would have purchased this book had I known, but hey besides the flip I did like the writing.
August 11, 2013
I'm surprised that the ratings aren't higher for this book. Honestly I struggled between 5 stars or 4. So 4 1/2 stars it is. I liked the way the past that defines Lilly is revealed....very slowly. It was an emotional read for me (meaning tissues required). Lawrence's ability to keep the shadows at bay is a truly remarkable declaration in itself. So....it's got sex, but not graphically just plenty, jealousy, love, pain, emotional damage, humor, drama and an ending.
October 21, 2013
What a deep book. Took a very long time to pick up my interest. I was a tough first couple of chapters to get into the book but fit some reason I could put it down. Glad I stuck with it. What a troubled life for Lilly to choose to live. At first I really liked Patrick and was very leery of Lawrence but oh how the rolls changed. I love and respected Lawrence by the end. All of the relationships just fell into place! Really different and interesting book.
November 4, 2016
Hmmmm..... I'm surprised I finished it.... It was veeeeery long and wordy.... It just kept going and going....And then in the end when the secret was revealed, it was only discussed for one chapter. And poof she was healed??? But there was about 20 chapters spent on business deals.... One positive..... It was clean... No ronchy romance. It would go dark for the bedroom scenes. Which I did love. And I felt interested enough to finish.... 3 stars
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 26, 2013
I have mixed feelings about this book. I feel for Lilly but I also can't understand why all these men are so drawn to her...enough to put up with her blatant avoidence of relationships. She is broken and I get that...that's okay...but... I don't like how she take's but never gives... Who deserves or really wants that?
January 27, 2013
This is a really enjoyable book, I was worried that the subject matter might be a bit heavy but it wasn't at all. The high class business world in which the characters lived rang true. Lilli never came across as a drama queen and Laurence didn't descend into alpha male territory, which could have easily happened. It was also well edited so I could relax and enjoy the book.
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February 5, 2013I'm only half way thru but that might be as far as I get. There are some parts of this book that I am really liking, and other parts that are seriously annoying me.. Add those annoying traits to the long periods between anything interesting happening and I'm stepping back from this book with a sigh of relief. Gonna read something else and maybe at some point I'll come back to it. Maybe.
February 19, 2013
i did actually cry when reading this book. i am a mother and wife and so to think about loosing those people in your life and having to go on was hard. now why would any woman just say oh he accepts me and not think this very powerful man didnt do a full background check on you and know wth happened to you.
August 26, 2015
Couldn't put this down!
I enjoyed this book because I could relate to the main character. I laughed and cried at times. The author keeps you reading by leaving you wondering the source of the main character's pain. The Author also does an amazing job of describing some very deep and raw emotions.
I enjoyed this book because I could relate to the main character. I laughed and cried at times. The author keeps you reading by leaving you wondering the source of the main character's pain. The Author also does an amazing job of describing some very deep and raw emotions.
January 27, 2013
This book was great. Between Lily and Lawerence, there was love, but never acted on it. Its a he/she game of love and business. So worth the reading and once the author sucks you in on the first chapter, you can not put it down. Great writing, a few editors mistakes, but easily corrected.
February 2, 2013
I feel like this book had a lot of potential. Unfortunately, the best part of the story only happend in the last 10% of the book. The beginning was slow and much of the dialogue was repetitive. I just expected a lot more.
March 28, 2016
Amazing read!
This story starts off dark and mysterious. It continues that way through much of the book but you are always wanting to know exactly what happened to Lilly. I would read this book again!
This story starts off dark and mysterious. It continues that way through much of the book but you are always wanting to know exactly what happened to Lilly. I would read this book again!
January 24, 2013
Great writing style and great characters. There wasn't enough action for me. I expected more angst and mystery.
January 28, 2013
The concept of story was good but it left me feeling like something was missing throughout the story, it needed more of something just could not put my finger on it.
February 14, 2013
This was a surprise. I thought I wouldn't like it but it was pretty interesting and kept my attention enough that I finished it in a few hours.
February 24, 2013
WOW!!!!!!! I don't normally get snot lipped but this one was very easy to become emotional involved with the heroine.
February 20, 2013
One can learn from this story! Money doesn't buy love but it can be achieved by patience & understanding your soulmate! I highly recommended it & its not spoiled with hot scenes!!!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews