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How It Happened
Dadi, the imperious matriarch of the Bandian family in Karachi, swears by the virtues of arranged marriage. All her ancestors – including a dentally and optically challenged aunt – have been perfectly well-served by such arrangements. But her grandchildren are harder to please.
Haroon, the apple of her eye, has to suffer half a dozen candidates until he finds the perfect Shia-Syed girl of his dreams. But it is Zeba, his sister, who has the tougher time, as she is accosted by a bevy of suitors, including a potbellied cousin and a banker who reeks of sesame oil.
Told by the witty, hawk-eyed Saleha, the precocious youngest sibling, this is a romantic, amusing and utterly delightful story about how marriages are made and unmade---not in heaven, but in the drawing room and over the phone.
Haroon, the apple of her eye, has to suffer half a dozen candidates until he finds the perfect Shia-Syed girl of his dreams. But it is Zeba, his sister, who has the tougher time, as she is accosted by a bevy of suitors, including a potbellied cousin and a banker who reeks of sesame oil.
Told by the witty, hawk-eyed Saleha, the precocious youngest sibling, this is a romantic, amusing and utterly delightful story about how marriages are made and unmade---not in heaven, but in the drawing room and over the phone.
311 pages, Hardcover
First published December 26, 2012
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 167 reviews
October 30, 2015
Some books make you laugh.. this is a LAUGH-OUT-LOUD stuff
I still don't believe it's a debut novel.
I started this book with low expectations because of my past experience with pakistani authors but this book started very differently and it left me smiling till I read the last word of the last page and I wanted the book to continue so yeah it's clear I loved it.
The writing is very realistic because of the fact that the plot is based upon arrange marriages in pakistani culture but I give the writer credit because writing about something which is commonly seen, most of the authors can do that, but making it look genuine and marvellous reading experience is where this lady made me give a huge round of applause for her writing skills and that's what differentiates a good writer from a great writer.
This book has a great humor and you will feel at home with the characters because the story is so general yet so entertaining. The book is unputdownable once you start it and there are so many moments when you can't stop laughing for a minute or two.
Roman English is used many times in pakistani books but one big plus point of this book is ROMAN-ENGLISH MASHUP where the writer uses words like dating-shating , love-shove and personally I loved it because it was required to give the writng a FEEL HOME look. This thing can be irritating for all the non-roman people and I really think the writer should have explained these words at the end of the book but this little flaw won't keep this DESI gem out of my favorites shelf.
EXTREMELY HIGHLY OBVIOUSLY RECOMMENDED
I still don't believe it's a debut novel.
I started this book with low expectations because of my past experience with pakistani authors but this book started very differently and it left me smiling till I read the last word of the last page and I wanted the book to continue so yeah it's clear I loved it.
The writing is very realistic because of the fact that the plot is based upon arrange marriages in pakistani culture but I give the writer credit because writing about something which is commonly seen, most of the authors can do that, but making it look genuine and marvellous reading experience is where this lady made me give a huge round of applause for her writing skills and that's what differentiates a good writer from a great writer.
This book has a great humor and you will feel at home with the characters because the story is so general yet so entertaining. The book is unputdownable once you start it and there are so many moments when you can't stop laughing for a minute or two.
Roman English is used many times in pakistani books but one big plus point of this book is ROMAN-ENGLISH MASHUP where the writer uses words like dating-shating , love-shove and personally I loved it because it was required to give the writng a FEEL HOME look. This thing can be irritating for all the non-roman people and I really think the writer should have explained these words at the end of the book but this little flaw won't keep this DESI gem out of my favorites shelf.
EXTREMELY HIGHLY OBVIOUSLY RECOMMENDED
April 17, 2013
This book was so disappointing. First of all, the plot. The plot was so utterly boring and predictable. By the first chapter, I knew Zeba would be dating a Sunni boy. I knew Dadi would make a fuss over that etc etc resulting in a happy ending for all. And because the plot was so predictable, the plot dragged on and on until, by the time i was on the last few chapters, I wanted to tear up my beautiful hardcover copy just out of sheer frustration.
And then there were the characters. Saleha. Saleha. Saleha is supposed to be fifteen? Really. I am a fifteen year old and I think I know how developed a fifteen year old mind is. Judging from her mental capacity, I would guess Saleha to be around 8? Maximum 9. Because to tell you the truth, kids stop playing with salt and pepper shakers when they hit 13. And Saleha was doing just that when she accompanied her family and Gullan, or whatever that guy's name, was for coffee. Most fifteen year olds are not at all oblivious to the world around them and if they are school going, then they are fully aware of what happens at the wedding night. Another thing that got to me was that Saleha, throughout her narrative, hardly ever spoke of her own self. most fifteeen year olds are highly self absorbed- they are constantly thinking about school, about people they know, about themselves. However these things are the least of Saleha's concerns. Saleha never once mentions her own school life. Readers remain, throughout the book, unaware of Saleha's own worries or problems. This was distinctly odd.
Then there is Dadi. Dadi is supposed to be the typical Dadi of every pakistani household- Stubborn, at times just plain mean, and unable to accept new ideas. However Haider, aiming for a foreign audience (?) exaggerates the typical dadi so much so that she transforms her into someone who is overly stubborn, overly mean and overly narrow minded. Sure, most Pakistani grandparents can, at times, be annoyingly old fashioned but they also tend to be very wise. They also tend to be experienced in matters concerning the world. Sure, sometimes they act almost childish, but they can be very intelligent too. Haider, however, presents Dadi as almost bordering on someone completely mad. Dadi is one character who most readers will (I believe) find a tad unbelievable.
Zeba is also an exaggerated form of 'The Liberal Free Thinking Pakistani Woman', as is Fatty Phupps. Zeba is frequently seen reading novels such as 'Lolita' and 'Wuthering Heights'. Haider obviously emloys this 'literary technique' to make sure readers fully understand how liberal Zeba really is. Of course, we wouldn't have understood that otherwise. Though it does strike me strange that a girl with a masters in English is only just reading them? Odd.
All in all the book was unbelievably bad. I beg for the forgiveness of any of those people who thought this book was a 'delectable, laugh out loud family tale' because seriously, it wasn't.
And then there were the characters. Saleha. Saleha. Saleha is supposed to be fifteen? Really. I am a fifteen year old and I think I know how developed a fifteen year old mind is. Judging from her mental capacity, I would guess Saleha to be around 8? Maximum 9. Because to tell you the truth, kids stop playing with salt and pepper shakers when they hit 13. And Saleha was doing just that when she accompanied her family and Gullan, or whatever that guy's name, was for coffee. Most fifteen year olds are not at all oblivious to the world around them and if they are school going, then they are fully aware of what happens at the wedding night. Another thing that got to me was that Saleha, throughout her narrative, hardly ever spoke of her own self. most fifteeen year olds are highly self absorbed- they are constantly thinking about school, about people they know, about themselves. However these things are the least of Saleha's concerns. Saleha never once mentions her own school life. Readers remain, throughout the book, unaware of Saleha's own worries or problems. This was distinctly odd.
Then there is Dadi. Dadi is supposed to be the typical Dadi of every pakistani household- Stubborn, at times just plain mean, and unable to accept new ideas. However Haider, aiming for a foreign audience (?) exaggerates the typical dadi so much so that she transforms her into someone who is overly stubborn, overly mean and overly narrow minded. Sure, most Pakistani grandparents can, at times, be annoyingly old fashioned but they also tend to be very wise. They also tend to be experienced in matters concerning the world. Sure, sometimes they act almost childish, but they can be very intelligent too. Haider, however, presents Dadi as almost bordering on someone completely mad. Dadi is one character who most readers will (I believe) find a tad unbelievable.
Zeba is also an exaggerated form of 'The Liberal Free Thinking Pakistani Woman', as is Fatty Phupps. Zeba is frequently seen reading novels such as 'Lolita' and 'Wuthering Heights'. Haider obviously emloys this 'literary technique' to make sure readers fully understand how liberal Zeba really is. Of course, we wouldn't have understood that otherwise. Though it does strike me strange that a girl with a masters in English is only just reading them? Odd.
All in all the book was unbelievably bad. I beg for the forgiveness of any of those people who thought this book was a 'delectable, laugh out loud family tale' because seriously, it wasn't.
June 19, 2023
“It’s a scandal! Why, a woman only has two things in this society: her ability to bear sons and her reputation! Zeba’s reputation will be what? She will be labelled ‘fast’ and what will happen then?”
There’s something about reading a book that describes exactly what your life is like. Exactly. I’m not kidding around here. I’m a twenty-something Pakistani Muslim currently drowning in the drama that is the process of getting married. This book is about twenty-something Pakistani Muslims drowning in the drama that is the process of getting married. It’s like this book was written for me.
She remained unmarried until the age of twenty-seven, which was considered the point of no return in those days.
I related to this book, and how. Some parts were so brilliant I took snapshots and sent them to my best friend, “We’ve had this exact same conversation!” Some scenes were actual versions of chats I have had with my parents, or relatives, or even with random strangers. It was one of those experiences where you stop and think, ‘Wait. I’m not the only one?’ and you let yourself bask in the pleasure of that feeling.
“I don’t want to get married for the sake of producing children. I want a companion. I want love.”
“LOVE!” gasped Dadi. “No one in our family has married for love for generations!”
This book is about marriages in the Pakistani community, and the ensuing tug-of-war that is bound to follow between those who are fierce proponents of the arranged marriage path against those who believe in choosing their own spouse. Dadi, the matriarchal head of the Bandian family, has particular opinions about any and every thing in the household, which include very strict ones about marriage. This comes into conflict with her grandchildren’s desire to stray from tradition: Haroon, the apple of her eye, can seemingly not find a single suitable match until the girl from his office catches his eye, and Zeba, our protagonist’s older sister, starts dating a guy of her own choosing, sending their grandmother into paroxysms of terror at even the vague idea of a love marriage.
“She love-married. Shameless creature she was...Her mother tried to commit suicide and her father couldn’t show his face in public again! Such shame she brought to her family.”
Viewed through the eyes of Saleha, the youngest daughter in the family and the main narrator, we watch as mindsets collide, age old traditions against a newer, more ‘mordren’ way of thinking, as their Dadi puts it. Shazaf Fatima Haider spares nothing and no one, talking about the whole process from the beginning to the end: the proposals, the meetings, the events, the post-marriage drama.
“It’s a bad idea to give your daughter-in-law too much of a choice in the matter. What was this idea of inviting her along anyway?” A good Eastern bride didn’t participate in the wedding with the eagerness that Saima was exhibiting. What kind of girl brazenly went with her in-laws to choose her own wedding dress?
While the book leans towards comedy, presenting the marriage process as an ultimately painful farce that one can only live through by laughing at it, a number of important issues manage to hide beneath the funny veneer. We encounter child brides and how it was the norm in olden times to get girls married at a ridiculously young age. We see brazen sexism and misogyny and how ludicrous the process of choosing a life partner based on a girl’s complexion and weight is. The book talks about intolerance and gender discrimination and how daughters were (and sometimes still are) considered a burden while sons are revered and loved.
My grandmother took upon herself the role of the matriarch, the mother of three eligible sons, who more than made up for the disadvantage of six daughters who would need to be married off one day.
Probably the best thing about this book is the fact that so much of it is written purely for the eastern reader. This book has a specially-for-Pakistanis vibe which means that even though desi people everywhere, from India to America to East Asian countries, might be able to relate, it still retains its innate Pakistani feel. The numerous traditions during the wedding process are those that every Pakistani reader will have encountered time and time again, from the Ar-see-masaf—
Not one of our female relatives had been exempt from the Scared Tradition: each saw her husband and Representative of God on Earth through a silver mirror placed on her lap during the ceremonial Ar-see-masaf with only a discreet glimpse of the face that was to dominate the rest of her life.
—to the battle against wearing a Sehra.
“Let me tell you now before you protest, you will wear a sehra of roses when you come, I don’t care what you say!”
“Dadi Jan, no! ...No one wears a sehra! A curtain of roses covering my face...What will I look like?...and I don’t want to wear those abominable shoes: the sleem shahees that are curled at the end? I’ll look like a relic from the past!”
Ultimately it is the weddings that one enjoys most during the reading process. For every desi kid who has had to suffer through a super long wedding, complete with seven functions and ten post-wedding parties and three pre-wedding dholkis, this book provides a slapstick version of our experiences. It’s a personal account of every Pakistani girl’s marriage proposal horror story, presented in a manner that makes it funny, and thus, bearable.
The wedding functions that followed were nothing more than a display of wealth, so necessary for the maintenance of the girl’s respectability in the eyes of her in-laws.
This book is, if nothing else, at least a starting point for a much needed discussion about gender politics. And one could argue that other Pakistani authors have tackled the manner in a more sophisticated, mature manner, but that is precisely the reason why this story is so much more important. Its exaggerated comedy and whimsical tone are what make it perfect for younger readers, who will be much more eager to pick this up than, say, Bapsi Sidhwa’s The Pakistani Bride or Nadeem Aslam’s Leila in the Wilderness, both excellent stories in their own right. That still doesn’t change the fact that those stories are what one could categorize as literary fiction, somewhere in the veins of class room syllabi, and this book is more chick lit, something you could recommend to your best friend and talk about in terms of how much you related to it.
“How long have you known her?”
“Since I joined P&G.”
“And how long have you known known her?” interjected Dadi.
What also helps is the comedy. Unlike other Pakistani books, this novel has perfected the art of not taking itself too seriously, which basically amounts to a lot of exaggerated hilarity. There are some actual laugh-out-loud scenes (a compliment I find I can’t give to any other Pakistani book I’ve reviewed so far) and a fair amount of mirth is injected in the proceedings. Even when the topic is a sensitive one, it’s handled mostly in a funny manner, ranging from the subtle—
In those days, the moisture of unshed tears in a girl’s eyes was a sign of beauty. It proved that she was too delicate for the roughness of the tough and wicked world and therefore quite useless and overwhelmed when it came to accomplishing practical matters at hand. This, in turn, proved that they were true nobility.
—to the over-the-top.
“When I bent to serve your Dadi, she took the glass and said, “Yes, yes, she’s very fair. We’ll have her.” Just like that! Can you imagine? As if I were a goat they were buying for Baqra Eid.”
Unfortunately, while it elicits actual laughter in some scenes, in others it fails miserably, giving one the uncomfortable feeling of having to fake laugh at a joke just because it was so desperately delivered. Moments such as these usually occur when the humour slides deftly into areas of blatant body shaming, with various characters engaging in disturbingly vicious commentary on everything from body shapes to hair texture, the biggest proponent being, of course, the grandmother.
“She’s pretty. Not beautiful. A little too thin. Haroon, you should tell her to gain some weight. Men like women with a little more flesh on them.”
But while that’s done for a reason, meant to bring into the limelight the Dadi’s sexist mentality, a direct result of her upbringing in a patriarchal, image-obsessed society, it becomes much harder to swallow when the person involved in the vehement criticism is the protagonist, Saleha. It’s possible that Shazaf Fatima Haider was attempting to give Saleha what she assumed was a true teenager vibe, but it’s hard to tell when there’s no clear way of distinguishing between what is meant to be a rejection of said practices implied through humour and what is in fact an endorsement.
In fact, one could argue that the protagonist is possibly the most ill-portrayed character in the whole charade, one who functions as nothing more than a mouth piece for the novel’s events. Saleha is quite possible the least self-obsessed teenager to have ever lived, because no person in that age group could ever spend so little time talking about themselves and spend so much time interested in their sibling’s love lives.
We Bandians from Bhakuraj were proud of our collective identity, but maintaining this identity could sometimes become a struggle, especially for someone like my sister who had a mind of her own. While she, too, loved to hear the stories of Bhakuraj, she treated them as obsolete anecdotes merely meant to amuse, but for Dadi they were a code of life.
The immaturity verges on awkward: she’s fifteen years old, and dances the Scooby Doo dance? Teenagers are self-conscious and gauche, and generally don’t act like they’re five when they’re really fifteen. She introduces all her relatives through a bullet list. She has no friends to speak of, doesn’t seem to ever actually go to school, and is allowed to sit in on all the important family discussions. Her passage of developing a crush is described within five pages where she frets, declares eternal love, and then promptly forgets the guy. Where does this happen, I ask you? What teenager isn’t more worried about grades, pimples, and the cute guy next door than their brother’s marital bless or sister’s love affair? Pakistani elders discuss marriage matters in private, upper class children don’t only have school but generally have tuitions as well, and friends are pretty much the most important social circle during one’s teen years. The fact that this book gets these basics so wrong brings other, more worrisome aspects, into the limelight. Such as the lack of subversion, a concept that the book keeps at complete arms length. In terms of questioning the status quo, the story represents, but does not probe.
“Haroon should have the freedom to marry someone he likes!”
“You be quiet! Listen to you!...Hussain, look at what your daughter is saying! Good sons let their elders choose their wives for them.”
This book clearly pits the idea of the arranged marriage à la older-generation-thinking against the idea of choosing your own spouse as presented via the younger generation. There’s a certain stereotypical theme that runs throughout the vein of the book: The childless, unmarried, sleeveless-kameez wearing, red-lipstick flashing aunt who works as a fashion editor is the saviour of the young, unlucky-in-love ones. The sister who rebels against arranged marriages reads Lolita and quotes English literature. The grandmother is an ultra-controlling matriarch, the older female relatives are nosy and ill-mannered, and the mother is a warm beacon of comfort and sympathy.
“You mustn’t blame him. He’s done things in a certain way all his life. All of us have, and to change that doesn’t come easily for us. And if it is so hard for us, imagine how difficult it must be for your grandmother, who is so old that she can’t imagine doing things differently. We’re all trying to protect you, in whatever way we think best. You must understand that.”
This book doesn’t even bother attempting to create characters that might be a bit more multi dimensional, instead moulding them all in the same old caricatures of older tyrannical grandmother and younger mutinous feminist. This presentation of figures does a disservice to the multitudes of Pakistani women who struggle to balance their religion and culture with the modern times, both old and young alike.
“What a question to ask! Why, you girls these days know no shame! Asking your grandmother what she talked about on her wedding night! I can tell you, though — there were no love poems! Sensible Bandian women know that this love-shove business is all nonsense. We must do our duty to please God and our husbands. That’s it!”
It’s entirely possible that this expectation of the representation of subversion is too heavy a responsibility to place on the arms of a book that, after all, only seeks to entertain. But that’s the problem with such limited output of literature from a country with such diversity in terms of opinions: we then expect that literature to represent all of us, from all shades of life, with all sorts of backgrounds and thinking. In terms of depiction, the book does an accurate enough job of describing, even if it verges on hyperbole, what the process of arranged marriages is like.
That Dadi was also racist and had a well-developed paranoia of all dark-skinned individuals was also well known to all who knew her.
Only once or twice throughout the novel does an issue like racism get addressed head on, while mentions of fair skin, light-coloured women and references to a milky complexion get mentioned again, and again, and again; a constant reminder of the mentality of the majority of Pakistani society. But while it’s all well and good to talk about such things, the book fails in ever properly addressing these concerns.
The local midwife, who also procured proposals for girls in our village, said it was because I wasn’t fair like milk.
All in all, one can, and I think one should, read this book for the amusing anecdotes, the funny commentary on the marriage process, and how much one can relate to certain parts of the story. Maybe time and a greater quantity of novels will get us to the point where we will be able to say, with confident authority, that our literature is now effectively changing mindsets, and should be charged with the responsibility to do so.
“Ek toh I do’t understand this obsession with contradicting everything I say. Good girls should be seen and not heard. That is how their in-laws like them!”
Recommendation
I had an absolute blast reading this book, but then again, there could be some bias involved. For all I know, I could be bringing my own twenties-female-aspiring-bride partiality to the recommendation, but that doesn’t mean I think anyone would be any less entertained by the material, even if they can’t relate. The book is both hilarious and horrifying (See list of required characteristics of the prospective bride on page 32: Must be fully qualified to get a good job but must not want to get a job because what are men for?), and a must-read for anyone thinking of getting married, or, more importantly, thinking of getting their child married. Absolutely recommended.
***
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There’s something about reading a book that describes exactly what your life is like. Exactly. I’m not kidding around here. I’m a twenty-something Pakistani Muslim currently drowning in the drama that is the process of getting married. This book is about twenty-something Pakistani Muslims drowning in the drama that is the process of getting married. It’s like this book was written for me.
She remained unmarried until the age of twenty-seven, which was considered the point of no return in those days.
I related to this book, and how. Some parts were so brilliant I took snapshots and sent them to my best friend, “We’ve had this exact same conversation!” Some scenes were actual versions of chats I have had with my parents, or relatives, or even with random strangers. It was one of those experiences where you stop and think, ‘Wait. I’m not the only one?’ and you let yourself bask in the pleasure of that feeling.
“I don’t want to get married for the sake of producing children. I want a companion. I want love.”
“LOVE!” gasped Dadi. “No one in our family has married for love for generations!”
This book is about marriages in the Pakistani community, and the ensuing tug-of-war that is bound to follow between those who are fierce proponents of the arranged marriage path against those who believe in choosing their own spouse. Dadi, the matriarchal head of the Bandian family, has particular opinions about any and every thing in the household, which include very strict ones about marriage. This comes into conflict with her grandchildren’s desire to stray from tradition: Haroon, the apple of her eye, can seemingly not find a single suitable match until the girl from his office catches his eye, and Zeba, our protagonist’s older sister, starts dating a guy of her own choosing, sending their grandmother into paroxysms of terror at even the vague idea of a love marriage.
“She love-married. Shameless creature she was...Her mother tried to commit suicide and her father couldn’t show his face in public again! Such shame she brought to her family.”
Viewed through the eyes of Saleha, the youngest daughter in the family and the main narrator, we watch as mindsets collide, age old traditions against a newer, more ‘mordren’ way of thinking, as their Dadi puts it. Shazaf Fatima Haider spares nothing and no one, talking about the whole process from the beginning to the end: the proposals, the meetings, the events, the post-marriage drama.
“It’s a bad idea to give your daughter-in-law too much of a choice in the matter. What was this idea of inviting her along anyway?” A good Eastern bride didn’t participate in the wedding with the eagerness that Saima was exhibiting. What kind of girl brazenly went with her in-laws to choose her own wedding dress?
While the book leans towards comedy, presenting the marriage process as an ultimately painful farce that one can only live through by laughing at it, a number of important issues manage to hide beneath the funny veneer. We encounter child brides and how it was the norm in olden times to get girls married at a ridiculously young age. We see brazen sexism and misogyny and how ludicrous the process of choosing a life partner based on a girl’s complexion and weight is. The book talks about intolerance and gender discrimination and how daughters were (and sometimes still are) considered a burden while sons are revered and loved.
My grandmother took upon herself the role of the matriarch, the mother of three eligible sons, who more than made up for the disadvantage of six daughters who would need to be married off one day.
Probably the best thing about this book is the fact that so much of it is written purely for the eastern reader. This book has a specially-for-Pakistanis vibe which means that even though desi people everywhere, from India to America to East Asian countries, might be able to relate, it still retains its innate Pakistani feel. The numerous traditions during the wedding process are those that every Pakistani reader will have encountered time and time again, from the Ar-see-masaf—
Not one of our female relatives had been exempt from the Scared Tradition: each saw her husband and Representative of God on Earth through a silver mirror placed on her lap during the ceremonial Ar-see-masaf with only a discreet glimpse of the face that was to dominate the rest of her life.
—to the battle against wearing a Sehra.
“Let me tell you now before you protest, you will wear a sehra of roses when you come, I don’t care what you say!”
“Dadi Jan, no! ...No one wears a sehra! A curtain of roses covering my face...What will I look like?...and I don’t want to wear those abominable shoes: the sleem shahees that are curled at the end? I’ll look like a relic from the past!”
Ultimately it is the weddings that one enjoys most during the reading process. For every desi kid who has had to suffer through a super long wedding, complete with seven functions and ten post-wedding parties and three pre-wedding dholkis, this book provides a slapstick version of our experiences. It’s a personal account of every Pakistani girl’s marriage proposal horror story, presented in a manner that makes it funny, and thus, bearable.
The wedding functions that followed were nothing more than a display of wealth, so necessary for the maintenance of the girl’s respectability in the eyes of her in-laws.
This book is, if nothing else, at least a starting point for a much needed discussion about gender politics. And one could argue that other Pakistani authors have tackled the manner in a more sophisticated, mature manner, but that is precisely the reason why this story is so much more important. Its exaggerated comedy and whimsical tone are what make it perfect for younger readers, who will be much more eager to pick this up than, say, Bapsi Sidhwa’s The Pakistani Bride or Nadeem Aslam’s Leila in the Wilderness, both excellent stories in their own right. That still doesn’t change the fact that those stories are what one could categorize as literary fiction, somewhere in the veins of class room syllabi, and this book is more chick lit, something you could recommend to your best friend and talk about in terms of how much you related to it.
“How long have you known her?”
“Since I joined P&G.”
“And how long have you known known her?” interjected Dadi.
What also helps is the comedy. Unlike other Pakistani books, this novel has perfected the art of not taking itself too seriously, which basically amounts to a lot of exaggerated hilarity. There are some actual laugh-out-loud scenes (a compliment I find I can’t give to any other Pakistani book I’ve reviewed so far) and a fair amount of mirth is injected in the proceedings. Even when the topic is a sensitive one, it’s handled mostly in a funny manner, ranging from the subtle—
In those days, the moisture of unshed tears in a girl’s eyes was a sign of beauty. It proved that she was too delicate for the roughness of the tough and wicked world and therefore quite useless and overwhelmed when it came to accomplishing practical matters at hand. This, in turn, proved that they were true nobility.
—to the over-the-top.
“When I bent to serve your Dadi, she took the glass and said, “Yes, yes, she’s very fair. We’ll have her.” Just like that! Can you imagine? As if I were a goat they were buying for Baqra Eid.”
Unfortunately, while it elicits actual laughter in some scenes, in others it fails miserably, giving one the uncomfortable feeling of having to fake laugh at a joke just because it was so desperately delivered. Moments such as these usually occur when the humour slides deftly into areas of blatant body shaming, with various characters engaging in disturbingly vicious commentary on everything from body shapes to hair texture, the biggest proponent being, of course, the grandmother.
“She’s pretty. Not beautiful. A little too thin. Haroon, you should tell her to gain some weight. Men like women with a little more flesh on them.”
But while that’s done for a reason, meant to bring into the limelight the Dadi’s sexist mentality, a direct result of her upbringing in a patriarchal, image-obsessed society, it becomes much harder to swallow when the person involved in the vehement criticism is the protagonist, Saleha. It’s possible that Shazaf Fatima Haider was attempting to give Saleha what she assumed was a true teenager vibe, but it’s hard to tell when there’s no clear way of distinguishing between what is meant to be a rejection of said practices implied through humour and what is in fact an endorsement.
In fact, one could argue that the protagonist is possibly the most ill-portrayed character in the whole charade, one who functions as nothing more than a mouth piece for the novel’s events. Saleha is quite possible the least self-obsessed teenager to have ever lived, because no person in that age group could ever spend so little time talking about themselves and spend so much time interested in their sibling’s love lives.
We Bandians from Bhakuraj were proud of our collective identity, but maintaining this identity could sometimes become a struggle, especially for someone like my sister who had a mind of her own. While she, too, loved to hear the stories of Bhakuraj, she treated them as obsolete anecdotes merely meant to amuse, but for Dadi they were a code of life.
The immaturity verges on awkward: she’s fifteen years old, and dances the Scooby Doo dance? Teenagers are self-conscious and gauche, and generally don’t act like they’re five when they’re really fifteen. She introduces all her relatives through a bullet list. She has no friends to speak of, doesn’t seem to ever actually go to school, and is allowed to sit in on all the important family discussions. Her passage of developing a crush is described within five pages where she frets, declares eternal love, and then promptly forgets the guy. Where does this happen, I ask you? What teenager isn’t more worried about grades, pimples, and the cute guy next door than their brother’s marital bless or sister’s love affair? Pakistani elders discuss marriage matters in private, upper class children don’t only have school but generally have tuitions as well, and friends are pretty much the most important social circle during one’s teen years. The fact that this book gets these basics so wrong brings other, more worrisome aspects, into the limelight. Such as the lack of subversion, a concept that the book keeps at complete arms length. In terms of questioning the status quo, the story represents, but does not probe.
“Haroon should have the freedom to marry someone he likes!”
“You be quiet! Listen to you!...Hussain, look at what your daughter is saying! Good sons let their elders choose their wives for them.”
This book clearly pits the idea of the arranged marriage à la older-generation-thinking against the idea of choosing your own spouse as presented via the younger generation. There’s a certain stereotypical theme that runs throughout the vein of the book: The childless, unmarried, sleeveless-kameez wearing, red-lipstick flashing aunt who works as a fashion editor is the saviour of the young, unlucky-in-love ones. The sister who rebels against arranged marriages reads Lolita and quotes English literature. The grandmother is an ultra-controlling matriarch, the older female relatives are nosy and ill-mannered, and the mother is a warm beacon of comfort and sympathy.
“You mustn’t blame him. He’s done things in a certain way all his life. All of us have, and to change that doesn’t come easily for us. And if it is so hard for us, imagine how difficult it must be for your grandmother, who is so old that she can’t imagine doing things differently. We’re all trying to protect you, in whatever way we think best. You must understand that.”
This book doesn’t even bother attempting to create characters that might be a bit more multi dimensional, instead moulding them all in the same old caricatures of older tyrannical grandmother and younger mutinous feminist. This presentation of figures does a disservice to the multitudes of Pakistani women who struggle to balance their religion and culture with the modern times, both old and young alike.
“What a question to ask! Why, you girls these days know no shame! Asking your grandmother what she talked about on her wedding night! I can tell you, though — there were no love poems! Sensible Bandian women know that this love-shove business is all nonsense. We must do our duty to please God and our husbands. That’s it!”
It’s entirely possible that this expectation of the representation of subversion is too heavy a responsibility to place on the arms of a book that, after all, only seeks to entertain. But that’s the problem with such limited output of literature from a country with such diversity in terms of opinions: we then expect that literature to represent all of us, from all shades of life, with all sorts of backgrounds and thinking. In terms of depiction, the book does an accurate enough job of describing, even if it verges on hyperbole, what the process of arranged marriages is like.
That Dadi was also racist and had a well-developed paranoia of all dark-skinned individuals was also well known to all who knew her.
Only once or twice throughout the novel does an issue like racism get addressed head on, while mentions of fair skin, light-coloured women and references to a milky complexion get mentioned again, and again, and again; a constant reminder of the mentality of the majority of Pakistani society. But while it’s all well and good to talk about such things, the book fails in ever properly addressing these concerns.
The local midwife, who also procured proposals for girls in our village, said it was because I wasn’t fair like milk.
All in all, one can, and I think one should, read this book for the amusing anecdotes, the funny commentary on the marriage process, and how much one can relate to certain parts of the story. Maybe time and a greater quantity of novels will get us to the point where we will be able to say, with confident authority, that our literature is now effectively changing mindsets, and should be charged with the responsibility to do so.
“Ek toh I do’t understand this obsession with contradicting everything I say. Good girls should be seen and not heard. That is how their in-laws like them!”
Recommendation
I had an absolute blast reading this book, but then again, there could be some bias involved. For all I know, I could be bringing my own twenties-female-aspiring-bride partiality to the recommendation, but that doesn’t mean I think anyone would be any less entertained by the material, even if they can’t relate. The book is both hilarious and horrifying (See list of required characteristics of the prospective bride on page 32: Must be fully qualified to get a good job but must not want to get a job because what are men for?), and a must-read for anyone thinking of getting married, or, more importantly, thinking of getting their child married. Absolutely recommended.
***
I review Pakistani Fiction, and talk about Pakistani fiction, and want to talk to people who like to talk about fiction (Pakistani and otherwise, take your pick.) To read this review completely, read more reviews or just contact me so you can talk about books, check out my Blog or follow me on Twitter!
October 25, 2014
I was inclined to read 'How it Happened' for a long time out of curiosity because it is written by a Pakistani writer, Shazaf Fatima Haider.
I'm always extremely delighted to read books by our very own Pakistani authors. Therefore, I did not want to miss out this one at any cost.
'How it Happened' is a purely gharelu story that we observe in every other's family based in Pakistan. It is the story of a Shia, Bandian family based in Karachi. It revolves around Gulbahar Bibi; commonly known as Dadi in the novel, who plays the most ardent and strict grandparent in the house. It is the story of how she believes in arrange marriages and how she arranged marriages for her children and her grandchildren. She is an imperious matriarch of her Bandian family who believes only in inter-sect marriages.
The story in the novel is being told by Saleha, who is a grand child of Dadi. She narrates the story and tells her ardent Dadi fixes arrange marriages for her two elder siblings; Haroon and Zeba. Dadi is highly against love shove business and wants her grand children to stay away from it as not a single family member in the Bandian family has ever tried to get into a love marriage before.
Despite of her old traditions, Haroon and Zeba find matches for themselves. Zeba crosses the family traditions as she falls in love with a Sunni boy. To find out how Dadi is outraged with this horrifying news, you have to read the book!
I believe this book will be more relatable to the readers belonging to the Shia sect as they will understand the depth of their sect in a much better way.
Moreover, the parts where drawing room meetings are set for a girl when prospective suitors come to see her with his families.
I can somewhat relate to that misery as I've experienced those drawing room meetings myself. This book completely justifies to how actually arranged marriages are done in Pakistan. Beginning from the first meetings and till the rukhsati, each and every event is well expressed.
It was a typical story that depicts the realm and depth of a Pakistani household. Most of the segments of this book were witty and exciting. There was no point when I felt bored reading this book.
The way Shazaf has managed to express the viewpoints of our elders is quite agreeable.
Dadi's role steals the show as she's the center of the story. One would surely laugh like riot and will not regret while reading it.
Happy reading,
Sara Naveed.
I'm always extremely delighted to read books by our very own Pakistani authors. Therefore, I did not want to miss out this one at any cost.
'How it Happened' is a purely gharelu story that we observe in every other's family based in Pakistan. It is the story of a Shia, Bandian family based in Karachi. It revolves around Gulbahar Bibi; commonly known as Dadi in the novel, who plays the most ardent and strict grandparent in the house. It is the story of how she believes in arrange marriages and how she arranged marriages for her children and her grandchildren. She is an imperious matriarch of her Bandian family who believes only in inter-sect marriages.
The story in the novel is being told by Saleha, who is a grand child of Dadi. She narrates the story and tells her ardent Dadi fixes arrange marriages for her two elder siblings; Haroon and Zeba. Dadi is highly against love shove business and wants her grand children to stay away from it as not a single family member in the Bandian family has ever tried to get into a love marriage before.
Despite of her old traditions, Haroon and Zeba find matches for themselves. Zeba crosses the family traditions as she falls in love with a Sunni boy. To find out how Dadi is outraged with this horrifying news, you have to read the book!
I believe this book will be more relatable to the readers belonging to the Shia sect as they will understand the depth of their sect in a much better way.
Moreover, the parts where drawing room meetings are set for a girl when prospective suitors come to see her with his families.
I can somewhat relate to that misery as I've experienced those drawing room meetings myself. This book completely justifies to how actually arranged marriages are done in Pakistan. Beginning from the first meetings and till the rukhsati, each and every event is well expressed.
It was a typical story that depicts the realm and depth of a Pakistani household. Most of the segments of this book were witty and exciting. There was no point when I felt bored reading this book.
The way Shazaf has managed to express the viewpoints of our elders is quite agreeable.
Dadi's role steals the show as she's the center of the story. One would surely laugh like riot and will not regret while reading it.
Happy reading,
Sara Naveed.
June 17, 2016
Simply Hilarious!
"How It Happened" The interrogation of title is itself dramatic and suspicious!
Now let's number those suspicions: (Roughly my own)
1. How Haroon Got Married?
2. How Zeba Will Be Wed?
3. How Will Dadi Ever Come Round?
4. What Will Happen In Case Of Saleha?
It is a story about arranged marriages with a blend of humour and wit. There was perfect relation in between me and the story! Every Pakistani reader will find certain amount of affliction with it for the plot is homely. Stunning Imagery. I fell in love with characters. They are all richly supplied with ample elaboration. It looked like Shazaf knew well when the reader is bored and is waiting for some action to happen rather than mere elaborations. A perfect combination. And one more declaration: You cannot put this book down. It's addicting! Too much!
There is almost nothing to criticise about except some exaggerations in Dadi's case. Dadi, who don't want her Laal (grandson) to go to Amreeka (haha!) and who wants him to get married in an arranged way, at last became convinced for a girl Haroon liked. But things became harder and harder in Zeba's case. Dadi was rigid and firm in her decision followed by her Bandian traditions and was not ready for a love match in case of Zeba (her granddaughter)!
The old-soul's dialogue were very emotional somewhere a little exaggerated! Her character was like warmth and life to the novel. So close to reality. I mean really it's so difficult to convince grandparents esp about the idea of abandoning some sort of tradition. But on the other hand these traditions make us real humans and solid values are really important in maintaining a sound society-more obliged to religion! I think Dadi deserves an Award for her acting!!! (as if it were a film or a tv series-Haha!) Girl#1,2,3.... That was amusing! :P
Phuppos played a great part but I didn't like Fati Phupps. Although she was the one who saved everything at last but she is more like an adult-bigriwi! Hell. Urdu influence. This book is responsible! Saleha's storytelling marvelled. This is more like 4.5 stars!
One won't need a highlighter to carry along because there are no heavy-deep-far from reality lines!
There is just a story going on. But who is that girl on cover? Zeba or Dadi herself (at her wedding)? A question still unanswered! Anyway, I am glad I read a book change from others, a story of an ordinary household broken somewhere in between due to fallen off traditions but then recovered in most unusual circumstances.
"How It Happened" The interrogation of title is itself dramatic and suspicious!
Now let's number those suspicions: (Roughly my own)
1. How Haroon Got Married?
2. How Zeba Will Be Wed?
3. How Will Dadi Ever Come Round?
4. What Will Happen In Case Of Saleha?
It is a story about arranged marriages with a blend of humour and wit. There was perfect relation in between me and the story! Every Pakistani reader will find certain amount of affliction with it for the plot is homely. Stunning Imagery. I fell in love with characters. They are all richly supplied with ample elaboration. It looked like Shazaf knew well when the reader is bored and is waiting for some action to happen rather than mere elaborations. A perfect combination. And one more declaration: You cannot put this book down. It's addicting! Too much!
There is almost nothing to criticise about except some exaggerations in Dadi's case. Dadi, who don't want her Laal (grandson) to go to Amreeka (haha!) and who wants him to get married in an arranged way, at last became convinced for a girl Haroon liked. But things became harder and harder in Zeba's case. Dadi was rigid and firm in her decision followed by her Bandian traditions and was not ready for a love match in case of Zeba (her granddaughter)!
The old-soul's dialogue were very emotional somewhere a little exaggerated! Her character was like warmth and life to the novel. So close to reality. I mean really it's so difficult to convince grandparents esp about the idea of abandoning some sort of tradition. But on the other hand these traditions make us real humans and solid values are really important in maintaining a sound society-more obliged to religion! I think Dadi deserves an Award for her acting!!! (as if it were a film or a tv series-Haha!) Girl#1,2,3.... That was amusing! :P
Phuppos played a great part but I didn't like Fati Phupps. Although she was the one who saved everything at last but she is more like an adult-bigriwi! Hell. Urdu influence. This book is responsible! Saleha's storytelling marvelled. This is more like 4.5 stars!
One won't need a highlighter to carry along because there are no heavy-deep-far from reality lines!
There is just a story going on. But who is that girl on cover? Zeba or Dadi herself (at her wedding)? A question still unanswered! Anyway, I am glad I read a book change from others, a story of an ordinary household broken somewhere in between due to fallen off traditions but then recovered in most unusual circumstances.
September 24, 2015
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Do you have grandmother? a brother? a sister? a father and mother? a sister in law? a brother in law? are you a Pakistani teenager? do you have relatives? do you belong to a Pakistani Muslim family? are you a girl? do you have a village where your ancestors came from ? a caste? are you syed? are you shia? are not thin? are you really good looking? are you not good looking? have you studied arts or science?
If you do have half of the given traits in you or a quarter. then you can relate to this and laugh at this cunningly crafted satire of our good, weird and sometimes quiet senseless culture.
even if you don't support any of those traits laughs are granted.
You can find a way to make this about you and even if you don't you might know few people in it.
Shazaf haider writes this book in easily crafted English which i term as desi-english which all the subcontinent readers or people who once belonged to this region can easily understand and enjoy. Sit back and be ready to be entertained by this 300 some pages of really bold writing ....
Do you have grandmother? a brother? a sister? a father and mother? a sister in law? a brother in law? are you a Pakistani teenager? do you have relatives? do you belong to a Pakistani Muslim family? are you a girl? do you have a village where your ancestors came from ? a caste? are you syed? are you shia? are not thin? are you really good looking? are you not good looking? have you studied arts or science?
If you do have half of the given traits in you or a quarter. then you can relate to this and laugh at this cunningly crafted satire of our good, weird and sometimes quiet senseless culture.
even if you don't support any of those traits laughs are granted.
You can find a way to make this about you and even if you don't you might know few people in it.
Shazaf haider writes this book in easily crafted English which i term as desi-english which all the subcontinent readers or people who once belonged to this region can easily understand and enjoy. Sit back and be ready to be entertained by this 300 some pages of really bold writing ....
May 9, 2013
Every Pakistani girl of the marriageable age can relate to this book. It is so true to our lives and that's what made this book an interesting read because it felt like I was reading about my own life or my cousin's. Starting from the showing off your daughters at others wedding to the typical drawing room meetings and ending with the buying of dowry, everything was so real. How relatives compete with each other to get their children married of first as if there is a race going on and how some girls are never asked their opinions because oh its bad manners to think about your own personal wishes. This book talks about every experience a girl goes through when she reaches a certain age and everyone will be able to relate to this, that "oh this happened with me or someone I know". Loved reading this book, although I think the character of Dadi was too much at some points, but other than that the characters are very real.
October 20, 2014
The family in this book has an uncanny resemblance to my own family! Like, it actually made me wonder if the author is a duur-ka-rishtaydaar or something. The relatability is probably why I liked this book. The whole rishta scene was spot on. It was quite cliche though, and there wasn't much to the story. Some things I felt were left "lost in translation" - you just don't get the feeling across in english sometimes!
But overall, it was a very nice read. Gotta pick up more Pakistani literature.
But overall, it was a very nice read. Gotta pick up more Pakistani literature.
August 19, 2016
How it (really) Happened (with me)
Once upon a time, on a sunny, in fact a very sunny, sun screeching Sunday. The kind of heat that normal July days are overwhelmed in Pakistan, wouldn’t be wrong to say especially Lahore. It was one of those days where people mostly stayed home instead of roaming on the roads or in the malls and waited for the shadows to prevail to ghoom-shoom around the city. But on the other hand, I was so excited to just enter in a bookstore and smell books with barely enough money in my pocket to eat and to pay the return fare. No other thing attracts me so much as a debutante Pakistani writer. So I was in a Dilemma but curiosity got the better of me. And that decision made me to reach home in 75 minutes with a famished stomach growling really bad and a shirt sticking sweat with really tired feet, glowing red.
Just as the universe started with a bang as the scientist claimed it to be, this book was no less than a big-bang. This book was a storm holding it in its pages and I came into its grip and this book just didn’t let me go anywhere right from the start. The story and the riots that arises in a family was so Desi-sheshi that every desi person has suffered from, at least any one of, the consequences explained in book and that’s what makes this book so on next level and likable by everyone. There isn’t a single page where you feel bored or feel agitated by the Awesome Dadi LOL slang-shlangs. To those who haven’t suffered from any joint-family or any family affairs would certainly not like or understand or sometimes feel the blood rising in their body but vice versa would love each and every single aspect belonging to this book.
Hats off to the debutante who never let me feel that it was her first novel. It was amazingly and masterly written. The comedy and funny type of fiction usually, I mean mostly, ends up with a very nasty end, kinda fucking everything up. But as this book started with a bang it sure did end likewise.
In short, it was really worth every single step.
Once upon a time, on a sunny, in fact a very sunny, sun screeching Sunday. The kind of heat that normal July days are overwhelmed in Pakistan, wouldn’t be wrong to say especially Lahore. It was one of those days where people mostly stayed home instead of roaming on the roads or in the malls and waited for the shadows to prevail to ghoom-shoom around the city. But on the other hand, I was so excited to just enter in a bookstore and smell books with barely enough money in my pocket to eat and to pay the return fare. No other thing attracts me so much as a debutante Pakistani writer. So I was in a Dilemma but curiosity got the better of me. And that decision made me to reach home in 75 minutes with a famished stomach growling really bad and a shirt sticking sweat with really tired feet, glowing red.
Just as the universe started with a bang as the scientist claimed it to be, this book was no less than a big-bang. This book was a storm holding it in its pages and I came into its grip and this book just didn’t let me go anywhere right from the start. The story and the riots that arises in a family was so Desi-sheshi that every desi person has suffered from, at least any one of, the consequences explained in book and that’s what makes this book so on next level and likable by everyone. There isn’t a single page where you feel bored or feel agitated by the Awesome Dadi LOL slang-shlangs. To those who haven’t suffered from any joint-family or any family affairs would certainly not like or understand or sometimes feel the blood rising in their body but vice versa would love each and every single aspect belonging to this book.
Hats off to the debutante who never let me feel that it was her first novel. It was amazingly and masterly written. The comedy and funny type of fiction usually, I mean mostly, ends up with a very nasty end, kinda fucking everything up. But as this book started with a bang it sure did end likewise.
In short, it was really worth every single step.
June 16, 2015
“What a legacy you have given us, to suppress all natural emotions and that loving someone is impure. How can you expect me to be quiet and let you decide my future when you absolutely have no regard for what I want”
Sex, love, affection, marriage, family politics and Dadi—the narrative revolves around everlasting tussle between orchestrated marriages and the ones that just happen. Shazaf has very lively tackled the issue of love and arranged marriage, especially inter-sect, Sunni-Shia marriages. Coming from a family where I myself bear witness to four such events, it makes me confess that she is an avid observer of the social reality around us. Skilful and amusing details about the characters of Zeba, Fati Phupoo, Haroon Bhai, Qurat dadi, and Saima Apa leave the reader with a satisfying smile throughout.
Narrator has heavily relied on lexical and morphological appropriation to generate humour and bring authenticity to the discourse.
One thing that intrigues me is the sweet sisterly connection that is there between Saleh and Zeba why/how it antagonistically has taken the form of rivalry in elderly Qurat and Dadi another duo of sisters in the novel. The delicate feminist touch in the plot is brought in through Fati Phupoo who is a single liberal fashion designer based in Lahore and makes Dadi forcibly/despairingly accept Zeba and Haroons love marriage.
Whenever there was hate, the family conquered it with love. Enjoyable read!
Abdullah
Sex, love, affection, marriage, family politics and Dadi—the narrative revolves around everlasting tussle between orchestrated marriages and the ones that just happen. Shazaf has very lively tackled the issue of love and arranged marriage, especially inter-sect, Sunni-Shia marriages. Coming from a family where I myself bear witness to four such events, it makes me confess that she is an avid observer of the social reality around us. Skilful and amusing details about the characters of Zeba, Fati Phupoo, Haroon Bhai, Qurat dadi, and Saima Apa leave the reader with a satisfying smile throughout.
Narrator has heavily relied on lexical and morphological appropriation to generate humour and bring authenticity to the discourse.
One thing that intrigues me is the sweet sisterly connection that is there between Saleh and Zeba why/how it antagonistically has taken the form of rivalry in elderly Qurat and Dadi another duo of sisters in the novel. The delicate feminist touch in the plot is brought in through Fati Phupoo who is a single liberal fashion designer based in Lahore and makes Dadi forcibly/despairingly accept Zeba and Haroons love marriage.
Whenever there was hate, the family conquered it with love. Enjoyable read!
Abdullah
March 22, 2013
Oh Dadi, you absolute legend. I feel that if you're someone from the subcontinent, you can relate to at least one of the characters in the book. The style of writing in this was brilliant, the comical nature of it combined with the issue the author tried to talk about was amazingly executed.
This did in many ways help me become open-minded. When at times I felt immense hatred for Dadi because of her bigotry, I was forced to think how she felt about it. She was just an old woman who was brought up with certain values and all she was trying to do was propagate the knowledge that was passed down to her and protect what she had taught to her children and grandchildren. Is that so wrong?
There were moments in this book that had me gasping for air with laughter. My roommate on the other hand probably hates this book because i've many a time woken him up at 3 or 4 am in the morning with one of my laughing fits.
This did in many ways help me become open-minded. When at times I felt immense hatred for Dadi because of her bigotry, I was forced to think how she felt about it. She was just an old woman who was brought up with certain values and all she was trying to do was propagate the knowledge that was passed down to her and protect what she had taught to her children and grandchildren. Is that so wrong?
There were moments in this book that had me gasping for air with laughter. My roommate on the other hand probably hates this book because i've many a time woken him up at 3 or 4 am in the morning with one of my laughing fits.
November 6, 2015
I really liked this book ALOT!
Despite the fact that everything was pretty much all known from the start, the plot and stuff but I am awed by the narration and the style of this beautiful writer. I have always wanted our regional novels to be respectful of our culture and not just make fun of everything about our cultural and religious values under the stupid guise of "wearing liberal glasses" and being all I'm sooo cool, in a display of western kiss-assery. She did point out all the weird and horrible things yet she also showed it in a very balanced manner, which emanated love and respect and altogether it was all very adorable. I think this is the message of our society I would want to send out to the world, to portray something sweet and light headed for once.
This book actually made me laught out loud, and I think this author deserves all our duas and blessings for that! Shafaz for Nobel Prize *giggles*
Despite the fact that everything was pretty much all known from the start, the plot and stuff but I am awed by the narration and the style of this beautiful writer. I have always wanted our regional novels to be respectful of our culture and not just make fun of everything about our cultural and religious values under the stupid guise of "wearing liberal glasses" and being all I'm sooo cool, in a display of western kiss-assery. She did point out all the weird and horrible things yet she also showed it in a very balanced manner, which emanated love and respect and altogether it was all very adorable. I think this is the message of our society I would want to send out to the world, to portray something sweet and light headed for once.
This book actually made me laught out loud, and I think this author deserves all our duas and blessings for that! Shafaz for Nobel Prize *giggles*
February 22, 2017
The best part of this would be the fact that I was so engrossed in the novel that I forgot I actually know the author, and instead of forcing myself to criticize/like the book, I was able to just enjoy it. And for somebody who doesn't really like comedies, I actually laughed. A lot.
March 27, 2013
I was suggested the book, "How it happened", by a university friend who had not read it herself but was curious about it all the same. Perhaps she only meant for me to find a copy and send it to her (since she doesnt reside in Pakistan) but curiosity got the better of me and I read it anyway. I was looking for something light and humourous anyway to give me a break from the long, dark, and harrowing journey through Stephen King's imaginary "Mid-world" in his magnus opus, The Dark Tower Series. I was not disappointed.
The subject is not something that would appeal to the male reader. The story, told through the eyes of Saleha, the youngest sibling, details the traditions, especially pertaining to marriage, of the extended Bandian family of Karachi. Three generations of the family reside in the same house which means its a tinderbox waiting to explode as tradition and modernity collide. "Dadi", the paternal grandmother, is the domineering matriach of this household who prides herself on being the last vanguard protecting age old traditions from the onslaught of "mordren" moral degredation. The rest of the family comprises of the Mother, "Ammi", the father "Abbu", Haroon Bhai, the brother and eldest sibling, and Zeba Baji, the elder daughter. The family, migrants from India, are Shia Muslim by religious persuasaion and Syed, meaning they trace their lineage from the Holy Imams of the Shia sect who are themselves descendants of the cousin of the Holy Prophet of Islam, Ali ibn Abi Talib and daughter of the Prophet of Islam, Fatima al-Zahra.
The major events of the story revolve around the marriage of Saleha's two elder siblings, Haroon and Zeba. At the beginning we are introduced to the major characters as well as aunts, uncles, and cousins. Dadi, a staunch traditionalist, wants her two grandchildren to marry the Bandian way, arranged into another Shia Syed family, and preferably without the slightest interaction between potential spouses. Suffice it to say this stance puts her at loggerheads with the new generation of the Bandian clan who have have given their own meaning to family and marriage.
The father is a loving character but who often bends to the will of his mother, more to the ire of his wife. The mother displays subtle and, sometimes not so subtle, hostility towards her "loving and caring mother in law" and would perhaps not mind the infusion of modernity in the household to brighten things up and to afford her children complete say in their futures. The brother is a straight-as-an-arrow individual, little sense of humor, no wit and a dovish attitude in domestic conflict. The sister is a very independent, opinionated, well-read graduate of English Literature and currently employed as a teacher. Her wit often stumps the recepient and almost always leaves her brother without a retort. The narrator, Saleha, is the sterotypical awkward teenager about to turn sixteen who is torn between her grandmother's way and her sister's way.
The pursuit of suitable marriage partners, inter-family rivalry, inter-generational conflict, social gossip, and quarrels over marriage preparations all make for an amusing and relatable read, especially for someone born into this culture.
The language of the book is easy but also displays certain well chosen words from the English Language. The tone is easy-going, dramatical, witty, and good-humored. The subject matter is nothing groundbreaking and has been written about countless times. Personally, I enjoyed the fact that the author chose to treat a contentious and serious issue with lightheartedness, perhaps, being true to the character of the narrator, a teenager without strong judgements about the world and its ways.
It is most definitely not a social commentary or criticism of the ways of the old and nor does it pretend to be. Through the characters we are see their individual criticism of the old or new (depending on who they are) but it does not come off as preachy in any way. Kudos to the author for this!
I recommend this book to anyone looking for an entertaining and light read. Those not familiar with the culture of Pakistan will find it difficult to follow certain interactions and appreciate them as the writer intended. The author does take some liberty in assuming the reader will be familiar with the Indian Subcontinental, particularly Pakistani, culture and does not go into much detail. While explanation would have helped the non-initiated with better comprehension of the subtleties, I felt too much detail would've detracted from the story and would have betrayed the casualness of the book.
The subject is not something that would appeal to the male reader. The story, told through the eyes of Saleha, the youngest sibling, details the traditions, especially pertaining to marriage, of the extended Bandian family of Karachi. Three generations of the family reside in the same house which means its a tinderbox waiting to explode as tradition and modernity collide. "Dadi", the paternal grandmother, is the domineering matriach of this household who prides herself on being the last vanguard protecting age old traditions from the onslaught of "mordren" moral degredation. The rest of the family comprises of the Mother, "Ammi", the father "Abbu", Haroon Bhai, the brother and eldest sibling, and Zeba Baji, the elder daughter. The family, migrants from India, are Shia Muslim by religious persuasaion and Syed, meaning they trace their lineage from the Holy Imams of the Shia sect who are themselves descendants of the cousin of the Holy Prophet of Islam, Ali ibn Abi Talib and daughter of the Prophet of Islam, Fatima al-Zahra.
The major events of the story revolve around the marriage of Saleha's two elder siblings, Haroon and Zeba. At the beginning we are introduced to the major characters as well as aunts, uncles, and cousins. Dadi, a staunch traditionalist, wants her two grandchildren to marry the Bandian way, arranged into another Shia Syed family, and preferably without the slightest interaction between potential spouses. Suffice it to say this stance puts her at loggerheads with the new generation of the Bandian clan who have have given their own meaning to family and marriage.
The father is a loving character but who often bends to the will of his mother, more to the ire of his wife. The mother displays subtle and, sometimes not so subtle, hostility towards her "loving and caring mother in law" and would perhaps not mind the infusion of modernity in the household to brighten things up and to afford her children complete say in their futures. The brother is a straight-as-an-arrow individual, little sense of humor, no wit and a dovish attitude in domestic conflict. The sister is a very independent, opinionated, well-read graduate of English Literature and currently employed as a teacher. Her wit often stumps the recepient and almost always leaves her brother without a retort. The narrator, Saleha, is the sterotypical awkward teenager about to turn sixteen who is torn between her grandmother's way and her sister's way.
The pursuit of suitable marriage partners, inter-family rivalry, inter-generational conflict, social gossip, and quarrels over marriage preparations all make for an amusing and relatable read, especially for someone born into this culture.
The language of the book is easy but also displays certain well chosen words from the English Language. The tone is easy-going, dramatical, witty, and good-humored. The subject matter is nothing groundbreaking and has been written about countless times. Personally, I enjoyed the fact that the author chose to treat a contentious and serious issue with lightheartedness, perhaps, being true to the character of the narrator, a teenager without strong judgements about the world and its ways.
It is most definitely not a social commentary or criticism of the ways of the old and nor does it pretend to be. Through the characters we are see their individual criticism of the old or new (depending on who they are) but it does not come off as preachy in any way. Kudos to the author for this!
I recommend this book to anyone looking for an entertaining and light read. Those not familiar with the culture of Pakistan will find it difficult to follow certain interactions and appreciate them as the writer intended. The author does take some liberty in assuming the reader will be familiar with the Indian Subcontinental, particularly Pakistani, culture and does not go into much detail. While explanation would have helped the non-initiated with better comprehension of the subtleties, I felt too much detail would've detracted from the story and would have betrayed the casualness of the book.
February 21, 2018
4.25 stars.
WOW. Any Pakistani or even Indian out there, I am sure you will be able to relate with this book hecka lot.
TO SUM IT UP IN FEW SENTENCES
- I loved Dadi's role.
- I loved the writing style even though it dragged at times.
- Loved the rebellious nature of Zeba.
- Loved the little traditions and views shown because even though you may not like Dadi's opinions and views, you just sometimes can't help but relate with them.
- Loved the fact that this book was return by a person who graduated from my school and guess what? My school as actually mentioned. IHAVETOSQUEAL,OKAY? <<<33333
- An interesting contrast between Zeba and Dadi was shown showing the modern views and the old traditional and cultural views.
- I was actually instantly drawn to the cover when I first saw this book.
- I actually felt sorry for Dadi later on as it felt everything was going against her. Which it sort of was. lol
- Those little mentions of corny things sometimes made me laugh and smile.
- Overall, an interesting plot was shown which was very relatable unlike another Pakistani book I recently read. I will highly recommend to read this book for it was quite funny.
- Please read and love it.
GOSH, I wrote a lot, didn't I? XD
Anyway, fun fact, I was asked in my college interview what was the last book I read and I mentioned it. When I told the interviewer the book title, she immediately realized it and said the author's name. AAAAH that was actually nice. So a little thanks to this book since I got accepted to that college. YAAASSS!
Anyway, I know you guys weren't interested but I still felt like sharing.
WOW. Any Pakistani or even Indian out there, I am sure you will be able to relate with this book hecka lot.
TO SUM IT UP IN FEW SENTENCES
- I loved Dadi's role.
- I loved the writing style even though it dragged at times.
- Loved the rebellious nature of Zeba.
- Loved the little traditions and views shown because even though you may not like Dadi's opinions and views, you just sometimes can't help but relate with them.
- Loved the fact that this book was return by a person who graduated from my school and guess what? My school as actually mentioned. IHAVETOSQUEAL,OKAY? <<<33333
- An interesting contrast between Zeba and Dadi was shown showing the modern views and the old traditional and cultural views.
- I was actually instantly drawn to the cover when I first saw this book.
- I actually felt sorry for Dadi later on as it felt everything was going against her. Which it sort of was. lol
- Those little mentions of corny things sometimes made me laugh and smile.
- Overall, an interesting plot was shown which was very relatable unlike another Pakistani book I recently read. I will highly recommend to read this book for it was quite funny.
- Please read and love it.
GOSH, I wrote a lot, didn't I? XD
Anyway, fun fact, I was asked in my college interview what was the last book I read and I mentioned it. When I told the interviewer the book title, she immediately realized it and said the author's name. AAAAH that was actually nice. So a little thanks to this book since I got accepted to that college. YAAASSS!
Anyway, I know you guys weren't interested but I still felt like sharing.
April 19, 2013
...in all honesty the book did voice many a thought of us desi lassies and men when it comes to the concept of "arranged marriage!" I found the book an interesting read and my advice to the 15 year old who thought Saleha was NOT a correct depiction of how a 15 year old think...sweetheart the book is set in the 1990's...you obviously failed to notice that there were numerous inferences to the era...VHS tapes, GI Jane and Perfect Strangers being the most blatant of them. So yes back in the 1990'S ALL 15 year olds had the mental capacity of an eight year old and no we were not aware of what happens on the "night."
Infact this is exactly why Shazaf Fatima Haider should be lauded - for bringing to light the death of innocence as well (: so good one SFH (:
Infact this is exactly why Shazaf Fatima Haider should be lauded - for bringing to light the death of innocence as well (: so good one SFH (:
April 13, 2015
A couple of things I wanna say about this book.
1) Once started, couldn't put it down. I can't believe it's a debut novel - remarkable piece of writing from a Pakistani writer.
2) How can I forget to compliment the LEGENDARY DADI - what a stunner, I could actually picture her saying all those things, considering I had a grandparent too - just like HER.
3) I think every Pakistani can relate to at least one of the characters in the book.
Highly recommended to all Pakistani teenagers, especially to those living with their grandparents or who have any experience at all of living with them.
1) Once started, couldn't put it down. I can't believe it's a debut novel - remarkable piece of writing from a Pakistani writer.
2) How can I forget to compliment the LEGENDARY DADI - what a stunner, I could actually picture her saying all those things, considering I had a grandparent too - just like HER.
3) I think every Pakistani can relate to at least one of the characters in the book.
Highly recommended to all Pakistani teenagers, especially to those living with their grandparents or who have any experience at all of living with them.
September 21, 2014
The start was interesting and relatable but the book lost momentum towards the middle. I would have loved more details, a bit more positivity and something different, something that would make me fall in love with it. It failed to do that. Nevertheless for a first book its a good attempt. I look forward to much more refined writing from this author because she certainly has the gift of story telling.
May 5, 2018
A very funny, interesting and entertaining novel. The narratives in this book on the mindsets of old and new generations living together as a family are amazing. This book defines most of the scenes on point on the matters of choosing partners, shia-Sunni cold hatred and culture of Shia Syeds. This book wont bore you at all. At some places, you will die laughing.
July 8, 2018
A predictable and ordinary plot centered around spices, prayers, arrange marriages, evil eye and the rivalry among desi families yet the wit and careful inclusion of the sensitive topic of intersect marriages made this book a wonderful read. The humor in the situation is always on point. All in all, a thoroughly witty and enjoyable piece of writing.
December 11, 2019
"Arey Bhai, the younger they are, the more malleable! They will be able to learn and adapt to you way of life.'
' Dadi,' Zeba Baji inquired, 'are we talking about women or plasticine?"
"In my time, things were different. The boy's family used to send the girl a ball of knotted wool and the fast she unknotted it, the worthier she was!"
How It Happened by Shazaf Fatima Haider is Saleha Bandian's story, a girl belonging to a Syed Shia family, who's matriarch, Dadi, prides herself belonging to the most honourable family in Karachi. While most of her stories and advise tend to be contradictory, there is one that is firm and never wavers - marriage will always be arranged.
Being the matriarch, Dadi has the final say in all matters so it does not come as a surprise when she starts to look for proposals for the apple of her eye, her grandson, Haroon. No girl is good enough or pretty enough or sensible enough for him.
On the other hand, she is also desperate to get her grand daughter, Saleha's sister, Zeba married. For her, no such rules apply. Since she's the girl, she's the one who has to compromise on men, who are older or are mama's boys or have zero compatibility with her.
It is a humorous read, taking subtle (and most of the time not-so-subtle) sarcastic tones, and becomes all-too-relatable for girls whose families are desperate to get a good proposal for them (not caring about compatibility). It highlights openly the hypocrisy that revolves around the rishta-hunting business where girls are expected to look pretty, thin, shy and gorgeous, while men are just expected to show up. It also focuses on the opposition against inter-sect marriage that is prevalent in our society, to the point where people would tend to bash the other sect just because they do not want their next generations to marry into it. There are also subtle hints of being forced to follow tradition even if your own happiness ends up being compromised.
If you're looking for a light read, this is the book for you. But look for the undertones, and look for the subtle messages; there are plenty. The only issue I had with the book was the excessiveness of words like "Love-shove", "dating-shating" etc. Otherwise, one hell of a book!
' Dadi,' Zeba Baji inquired, 'are we talking about women or plasticine?"
"In my time, things were different. The boy's family used to send the girl a ball of knotted wool and the fast she unknotted it, the worthier she was!"
How It Happened by Shazaf Fatima Haider is Saleha Bandian's story, a girl belonging to a Syed Shia family, who's matriarch, Dadi, prides herself belonging to the most honourable family in Karachi. While most of her stories and advise tend to be contradictory, there is one that is firm and never wavers - marriage will always be arranged.
Being the matriarch, Dadi has the final say in all matters so it does not come as a surprise when she starts to look for proposals for the apple of her eye, her grandson, Haroon. No girl is good enough or pretty enough or sensible enough for him.
On the other hand, she is also desperate to get her grand daughter, Saleha's sister, Zeba married. For her, no such rules apply. Since she's the girl, she's the one who has to compromise on men, who are older or are mama's boys or have zero compatibility with her.
It is a humorous read, taking subtle (and most of the time not-so-subtle) sarcastic tones, and becomes all-too-relatable for girls whose families are desperate to get a good proposal for them (not caring about compatibility). It highlights openly the hypocrisy that revolves around the rishta-hunting business where girls are expected to look pretty, thin, shy and gorgeous, while men are just expected to show up. It also focuses on the opposition against inter-sect marriage that is prevalent in our society, to the point where people would tend to bash the other sect just because they do not want their next generations to marry into it. There are also subtle hints of being forced to follow tradition even if your own happiness ends up being compromised.
If you're looking for a light read, this is the book for you. But look for the undertones, and look for the subtle messages; there are plenty. The only issue I had with the book was the excessiveness of words like "Love-shove", "dating-shating" etc. Otherwise, one hell of a book!
April 11, 2014
I read hundreds of books and never write a review for any, not even the ones I enjoy, I'm not really sure what motivated me to write about this one.
In terms of story, there is no denying that Shazaf Fatima Haider brings nothing new to the table with her first novel; despite this, her book proves better than possibly 90% of those coming out of the subcontinent - its victory lies purely in its comedy. In fact, I was so amused by it, I managed to read it cover to cover within just a few hours, feeling afterwards like I had walked out of a good light-hearted, feel-good movie.
I would even go so far as recommending it to others because of its refreshingly accepting slant on the age-old stereotype of arranged marriage within our subcontinent. I'm quite tired of the way most South Asian authors represent their cultural roots, either with their pompous and belittling judgement of the apparent squalid and dismal conditions they think those in the subcontinent live in, or with their false and unnatural, distant "sensitivity" to our culture, which really reflects no familiarity at all.
Haider is different in that she presents the same old material but in an affectionate although hilarious way - her novel presents every possible perspective on the same incident, but deems to advocate no particular viewpoint over the other. When someone who doesn't understand, or is "different" criticises the way things are, it is an entirely different story than if this same criticism were to come from someone "within the family" - and that's the difference in treatment with Haider's novel, the factor that swings things in its favour.
It's not a book that will change your life, nor something that will move you deeply or have a profound impact on you, in fact you already know what it's going to tell you - but it's worth a read for the hilarious glimpse it offers into a still relevant topic. You'll read it, enjoy it, laugh out loud and then probably forget about it a week later, but it'll still be worth those momentary laughs. Definitely looking forward to her next.
In terms of story, there is no denying that Shazaf Fatima Haider brings nothing new to the table with her first novel; despite this, her book proves better than possibly 90% of those coming out of the subcontinent - its victory lies purely in its comedy. In fact, I was so amused by it, I managed to read it cover to cover within just a few hours, feeling afterwards like I had walked out of a good light-hearted, feel-good movie.
I would even go so far as recommending it to others because of its refreshingly accepting slant on the age-old stereotype of arranged marriage within our subcontinent. I'm quite tired of the way most South Asian authors represent their cultural roots, either with their pompous and belittling judgement of the apparent squalid and dismal conditions they think those in the subcontinent live in, or with their false and unnatural, distant "sensitivity" to our culture, which really reflects no familiarity at all.
Haider is different in that she presents the same old material but in an affectionate although hilarious way - her novel presents every possible perspective on the same incident, but deems to advocate no particular viewpoint over the other. When someone who doesn't understand, or is "different" criticises the way things are, it is an entirely different story than if this same criticism were to come from someone "within the family" - and that's the difference in treatment with Haider's novel, the factor that swings things in its favour.
It's not a book that will change your life, nor something that will move you deeply or have a profound impact on you, in fact you already know what it's going to tell you - but it's worth a read for the hilarious glimpse it offers into a still relevant topic. You'll read it, enjoy it, laugh out loud and then probably forget about it a week later, but it'll still be worth those momentary laughs. Definitely looking forward to her next.
October 1, 2015
It could have been a 5 star but is a 4.75
How It Happened* by Shazaf Fatima Haider
What earned those 4.5 stars that I am giving it.
- The situations, while humourous, were very relateable
- The character of Zeba that I can so totally relate with (if the story were in Zeba's POV, I might not have really felt that because this way I could relate with what people have many a times told me how I come across to other)
- Fati Phupps character because she knew her mind and knew how to give her mind a voice
- Dadi, the matriarch, and all her antics (I may not agree with her way of doing things but I can't deny the reality of all that happening)
- The truth in how people would even go against their long held parametres of life so as to best another
- The idea of the inter-sect marriage is to me still a fantasy that I have never seen played out in real but I can hope
What made it lose that 0.25 star
- In some places, the author forgot the right form of address (if you have called someone Baji your whole life, you don't saying the name all of a sudden and the same goes for the father and the grand mother)
- Saima Apa? Really? (Who calls their Bhabi, Apa? And even if you are calling her Apa and thinking of her thus, you can't call her Baji on a one off basis!)
*As is evident from the knowledge of the author of one sect in this book, it must be applauded that she has not passed judgement as to who is on the right path.
How It Happened* by Shazaf Fatima Haider
What earned those 4.5 stars that I am giving it.
- The situations, while humourous, were very relateable
- The character of Zeba that I can so totally relate with (if the story were in Zeba's POV, I might not have really felt that because this way I could relate with what people have many a times told me how I come across to other)
- Fati Phupps character because she knew her mind and knew how to give her mind a voice
- Dadi, the matriarch, and all her antics (I may not agree with her way of doing things but I can't deny the reality of all that happening)
- The truth in how people would even go against their long held parametres of life so as to best another
- The idea of the inter-sect marriage is to me still a fantasy that I have never seen played out in real but I can hope
What made it lose that 0.25 star
- In some places, the author forgot the right form of address (if you have called someone Baji your whole life, you don't saying the name all of a sudden and the same goes for the father and the grand mother)
- Saima Apa? Really? (Who calls their Bhabi, Apa? And even if you are calling her Apa and thinking of her thus, you can't call her Baji on a one off basis!)
*As is evident from the knowledge of the author of one sect in this book, it must be applauded that she has not passed judgement as to who is on the right path.
February 23, 2016
3.5 stars
The book cover is really pretty. The plot was such a novel one. I've always wondered what happened during intersect marriages. This gave great insight to all the obvious inquisitions, with a touch of humour. Loved all the vibrant and relatable characters, especially Dadi as I personally know myriad of people with the exact same bigoted notions.
Subjectively, I don't see anything wrong in intersect marriages. Sun'ni and Shia are both Muslims and I strongly condemn the apprehension that Shias are non muslim as Shias believe in all the articles of Faith and the 'pehla kalma' which renders them as Muslims and to the rest antagonising beliefs I say, to each his own.
Initially, I was under the pretense that the narrator was the one who'd get married. It took me a while to comprehend the meaning of 'mordren'. I didn't really find it very funny like the reviews raved about. Khair, good read. I would love to read another book by the author.
The book cover is really pretty. The plot was such a novel one. I've always wondered what happened during intersect marriages. This gave great insight to all the obvious inquisitions, with a touch of humour. Loved all the vibrant and relatable characters, especially Dadi as I personally know myriad of people with the exact same bigoted notions.
Subjectively, I don't see anything wrong in intersect marriages. Sun'ni and Shia are both Muslims and I strongly condemn the apprehension that Shias are non muslim as Shias believe in all the articles of Faith and the 'pehla kalma' which renders them as Muslims and to the rest antagonising beliefs I say, to each his own.
Initially, I was under the pretense that the narrator was the one who'd get married. It took me a while to comprehend the meaning of 'mordren'. I didn't really find it very funny like the reviews raved about. Khair, good read. I would love to read another book by the author.
August 10, 2016
Realistic (if a little exaggerated. Okay, a lot. But who cares? "All's far in love, war and comedy.") and unfailingly Hilarious, capital H. I loved, loved, LOVED this book. I want to make everyone read it and discuss it, and then I want to forget about it so I can read it all over again. My only complaint is that it was too short. Mrs. Haider, why you do this?!?!?!?! I WANT MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I recommend this to all Pakistani girls because they will be able to relate without becoming depressed, and even boys, as they will probably get a kick out of reading about all the trials girls go through.
I recommend this to all Pakistani girls because they will be able to relate without becoming depressed, and even boys, as they will probably get a kick out of reading about all the trials girls go through.
January 13, 2014
A seven star read... A most engaging comedy of manners in a subcontinent setting with some very inimitable characters all around, a lively plot, and sparkling dialogue. A marvellous account of matrimonial intrigues which saves itself from the descending into sheer emotional melodrama by the author's deft handling and lightness of touch. Ms. Haider is a worthy successor to Jane Austen - who does figure herself - with language, especially metaphors, that outstrip Wodehouse - here's looking forward to more from her inspired pen
October 15, 2018
Predictable, cliched, one dimensional characters, the writing didn't really flow. Sometimes it read like it was written by someone who has recently taken the SATs. It had its moments but overall, quite a drag. Maybe more suitable for a younger audience (15-24 yrs type). There were also quite a few anomalies in descriptions that I found a little annoying. Since I've read MUCH better stuff from sub-continent writers, this kind of seemed like a forced book.
March 3, 2013
Oh well- the usual single girl over 25, independent, high-headed with a family (read Grandmother) obsessing over her marriage. The narrative was too juvenile for me- I think I am getting old! The reason I picked this up was to learn something about the culture of Pakistan but sadly, I am no wiser having read this.
August 16, 2016
I thoroughly enjoyed it. Belonging to an Urdu speaking family myself, I felt like Dadi was one of my own relatives. The jokes were hilarious too, I found myself laughing out loud quite a lot. I felt like the whole thing was a beautiful descriptive piece of how things are done in this part of the world, but at the same time, sort of chastising the reader, this is NOT how they should be done.
January 20, 2016
I really tried my best to like this book! I really did! But it got really annoying! Haider made Dadi seem so weird! no Dadi I know would talk like this Dadi! Wish Haider did not try so hard to make this book a funny one because it was a failure in humor department.
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