Arabelle's Shadows

by Fleur Gaskin

Everything in Arabelle's life is coming together. She has confidence, great friends, she's even dating Naak, a wealthy Thai socialite. But there are too many models in Bangkok. Arabelle’s broke, she can’t find an agent in New York, and Naak isn’t as wonderful as he first appears.

Slowly the Shadows creep back into Arabelle’s mind, bringing with them thoughts of hopelessness and despair. The vile Shadows know something Arabelle’s refusing to remember and, if she’s not careful, they’ll use it to destroy her.

Based on a true story, Arabelle’s Shadows takes us on a journey through the struggles of growing up, not quite making it as an international model, and attempting to overcome a crushing depression.

Genres: Contemporary, Drama, Adult Fiction

270 pages, Kindle Edition

First published November 15, 2012

About the author

Fleur Gaskin is from New Zealand. She was an international model for six years, working in over ten countries, mainly in Asia and Europe. She has been in TV commercials, walked on runways and appeared in many magazines including Elle, Marie Claire and Vogue.

Fleur suffered from a very serious depression as a teenager. Though she was very sick at times she never stopped fighting her disease. She read a mountain of books, went through years of self-reflection and healing. Fleur will always be sensitive but these days she's surrounded by great people and finally knows that she is loved.

She has been living in China for the past seven years. She currently lives in Shanghai with her husband and her two cats.

Reviews

[Cora Tea Party Princess · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was sent this book by the author in return for an honest review.

This isn't a book about the fashion world.

It is a book about life and lessons and how to overcome what you think will destroy you. It just happens to be set around the fashion world - a world which seemingly makes it all worse.

You know the Shadows yourself, of course. Everyone has them, lurking below the surface ready to bring you down, ready to take you to your lowest point and make you doubt everyone and everything and most especially yourself. Arabelle's Shadows lets you know someone else's experience with the darkness inside, it shows you that you're not alone.

I love the style of this book - it's so personal with its informal style, it's like reading a private diary, and you feel indulged by this as a reader - if slightly guilty for reading it.

[Raechella · Rating 4 out of 5]

Once upon a time, a girl made it into the modeling industry. She has the booming career, exclusive friends, and an elitist for a boyfriend. Thus the happily ever after? Not quite.

Told in a diary/memoir format—Arabelle’s Shadows unwraps the privy details of the usually deemed plush lives of picture perfect models. More importantly, it tackles the nasty Shadows vigilantly targeted on crushing Arabelle down.


Watching too much America’s Next Top Model, Runway Project, Gossip Girl and other fashion/modeling shows along with my fervent enthusiasm in flipping through fashion magazines (I actually have a huge collection of this Philippine teen mag called Candy Magazine but ceased into buying the moment I turned 19), I already have quite an idea how the industry works. I know a little bit about castings as the models in ANTM gets to spend a limited amount of time setting off to meet designers and exhibiting their works while these designers choose the models that they deem worthy to be casted. Some will be entitled to numerous castings, a few for some, while a minority of these models will find themselves down in the dumps. On top of that, one’s facial features will set you apart from the others. If you’re an American and looks too American, chances of getting into Italian Vogue would be miniscule; hence, do not expect to win at all. My favorite contestant so far, Allison, has this tendency of posing for awkward shots but ends up having amazing photos. She has this pretty big eyes that mesmerizes everyone (even the rapper Game who appeared as a guest in one episode), but closing her eyes in one photo made the judges hesitate to give her the title. She became a runner-up nonetheless.

Glamour plays an integral part in this industry. Everybody’s self-obsessed, has vanity issues, and overindulgent—which almost appear as job requirements. Arabelle never gets the big, high-paying commercial jobs because she looks too editorial; thus, the wobbly pour of money. Once, a photographer even gave her diet pills—said she was too fat albeit her overly lean body. She didn’t get casted on one occasion, too, as she was considered a few inches short. Modeling, as it turns out, is playing out with superficiality and flawlessness—there’s no room for any damages and defects.

But this book isn’t really about modeling; it’s about depression. At a snail’s pace, the Shadows began lurking inside Arabelle’s head and eventually endured for a stretched point in time, undeterred by her coveted transformation. Now and then, she’s convinced that she has finally prevailed over the vile Shadows; yet, as a matter of fact, they prowl unwearyingly, watchful for their next assault. Every once in a while, we, too, happen to run into these Shadows, transforming us into the crestfallen version of ourselves. It may be the huge zit on your face, deliberately taunting you whenever gazing at yourself in the mirror; it may be your bulging thighs, keeping you from wearing your favorite vibrant skirt; or probably you wish you had more money, to have an endless supply of designer clothes, ultimately dethroning the school’s queen bee. Somehow, these Shadows rupture our self-esteem, leaving permanent scars not only in ourselves but to our relationships as well. I know this; I’ve got my own issues, too.

A big chunk of this book covers the flashbacks from Arabelle’s growing up years. These are the most intense parts and hold the most heartbreaking scenes. It’s amazing how the author managed to create a realistic portrayal of someone who undergoes depression; Arabelle’s despair naturally seeps through the pages and impinges on the reader’s soul. Why not? The author recounts her own autobiography!

I love the final words from the book—I actually felt a tinge of satisfaction and pride as soon as she broke free from her old cocoon—and it very much sheds light on her career after giving up on modeling (well, not completely). To quote,

“I’m thinking that once I settle in I’ll probably go to university. Maybe study International Relations. I’m going to work hard. I’ll find a job where I’m respected for my mind. I still believe one day I’ll be famous, but it’ll be for helping people not because I have a skinny body and a pretty face.”

Very well said.


A big shout out to the author who provided me with a copy in exchange for an honest review. :)

[Jeann (Happy Indulgence) · Rating 2 out of 5]

This review appears on Happy Indulgence. Check it out for more reviews!

Actual Rating: 2.5

Australia’s Next Top Model is one of my guilty pleasures, filled with bitching, backstabbing and all these wannabe young models fighting for a place in the glamourous modelling industry. Perhaps that’s why I chose to review Arabelle’s Shadows, which is about modelling, written by a previous fashion model. The book is based on a true story, which looks like it’s modeled after the author’s own life.

The novel opens with Arabelle talking about dating a guy named Naak. She’s currently in Bangkok for her modelling career which is actually quite successful there, being a Caucasian model in an Asian country. She soon finds out that Naak was actually stringing her along as he actually has a girlfriend who is out of the country. I thought that would be the end of him, but even until its final pages does Arabelle obsess, pine and go after Naak in a self-destructive pattern for approval. I was sick of hearing of Naak by the end of it, and hearing about how men have done the same in the past made for a very sad story.

Told in three time periods, the present in 2004, 1998 in high school and the travelling years, we get an insight as to how Arabelle got there and her happiest years travelling. The travelling years were my favourite, as we see Arabelle’s modelling career take her from New Zealand, to Australia, Thailand, Hong Kong, Korea, Amsterdam, Paris and a few other countries. I loved hearing about these cultures and the life of a model. What you see on TV and in magazines is just the glamorous part, but Arabelle does struggle and persevere through some very difficult years with barely enough money to eat or pay rent.

Being a sufferer of chronic depression, Arabelle talks about a person’s shadows that can consume you and make you think negative thoughts. A large portion of the novel is dedicated to Arabelle’s suffering, and I found the negative self-talk, suicidal thoughts, and pure hate of one’s self to be way too depressing for me. Arabelle takes drugs, smokes, cuts, drinks and parties to silence her shadows, which crop up whenever she’s not surrounded by friends or getting many modelling jobs. I nearly stopped reading the book but persevered through the sheer crushing weight of what she was going through. I found it frustrating how she would appear to get on top of her depression once she was doing well in her career, but it would start to overtake her again and she’d start to get insecure and depressed, and there never seemed to be greener grass for Arabelle.

Arabelle seems to be very fickle which frustrated me, she doesn’t know whether she likes men or women, whether she wants to stay or go in each country, and get up and leaves whenever she’s not getting enough jobs in a particular country. By the end of the novel, she even decides that modelling might not be for her and that she might pursue acting instead.

While this book isn’t quite the usual type of book I read, I think it’s important for a reader to expand one’s limits so you can peer into many perspectives and lives. Arabelle’s Shadows wasn’t a bad book by any stretch, but it was definitely one of the most depressing ones I’ve ever read – and knowing that it’s based on a true story is even worse. Like real life, there’s ups and downs, moments of inspiration, negative feelings, a time where people come and go. Perhaps that’s what made it a difficult read, I wanted Arabelle to find happiness, zen, success and to overcome her depression and the ending was too subtle for me. Others who are going through a similar time in their lives, who can relate to Arabelle or are looking for some spiritual awareness would enjoy this read more, but unfortunately it wasn’t for me.

I received this book from the author in exchange for an honest review. Keep in mind my rating is my personal opinion of the novel, based on how difficult it was to get through for me.

[Sarah Oxford · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author provided me with a ecopy of this book for an honest review.

"Depression is not sadness. Depression is hollowness, nothingness. Depression is hell. It's a pain of the mind that feels like every millimetre of your body is being stabbed by white hot needles all at once."

This quote sums up for me what this book is all about. It's written in a memoir style with the main character, Arabelle, relaying the details of her struggle to become a famous model whilst battling with her vile Shadows. It would be difficult for me to say that I 'enjoyed' the book because it isn't really very fun. This is a serious book about a serious issue that is not talked about enough; Depression.

I often find that authors struggle to accurately depict real depression. As the above quote says, it isn't sadness but usually that is how it's depicted, and characters seem to recover ever so quickly. In real life depression is an illness, it invades all parts of your life and getting over it is a life long battle. The author here has very effectively shown this. We get a detailed insight into the workings of Arabelle's mind, how thoroughly depression has defined her life for such a long time, what being suicidal feels like, how rational thought is compromised, how worthless someone can feel when from the outside they appear to have everything.

This book challenged preconceived notions of modelling for me. Before reading this book I had never given the industry much thought, I don't read glossy magazines, I'm not a girly girl I guess you'd say, and didn't have much interest in reading about the industry to be honest. I am pleased I read this book though. It is such a down to earth perspective on modelling, you see them as real people. I know models are real people it's just normally when you think models you think celebrity supermodels so it's interesting to see what it's really like to try to make a career out of modelling. I guess due to the authors personal experiences the voice felt very authentic and believable, the details about castings etc helped to bring me into the world. I thought I'd struggle getting into the book because of knowing nothing about modelling but the author did such a good job of world building I now feel like I understand the industry.

Saying all that I don't feel like the book was at all about modelling. For me it's about depression and growing up. About a young woman with strength and determination who is struggling to be happy despite all the great things she has and friends/family around her. It's about how depression distorts perceptions and about the fight to win.

In terms of writing style I found this book very accessible and did enjoy the way the story was woven together with several different timelines. We learn about Arabelle's teenage experiences along the way which helped build the picture of how her mental state developed. I liked the way written in a memoir style you felt you were going along a journey with Arabelle. I did occassionally feel that the shifting timelines was confusing but mostly when I struggled to read much at a time due to the busyness of life. If I hadn't read any for a day or two I'd need to remind myself where/when I was in the story. The only other complaint I would have is the pacing. I felt at around the 60% mark I was waiting for something to happen and it just felt like a lot of the same. I did feel as it got into the last 10% that it got a little more intense but then the atmosphere seemed to shift rather aprubtly and then it ended. I would have liked more insight into the change of mindset and what happened after. I did feel rather unsatisfied and not at all convinced that Arabelle was ok, I'm still kind of a bit worried about her! I admit though my desire for a happy ending is rather unrealistic and I understand that to give one would have probably been inappropriate.

To summarise, I found this book often made me downright depressed and I wanted to hug or shake Arabelle at various points. Ultimately though it is such an authentic and honest portrayal of depression. I felt I got a lot out of it in terms of empathy for others, letting those who I care about know I'm there for them and an appreciation of my own mental health. Minds and emotions are so fragile and this book reminded me how important it is to take care of yourself.
I would recommend this book to those interested in depression, who want to understand more about it, or for those who want a more serious new adult book that doesn't romanticise growing up but is brutally honest.

[Alise · Rating 4 out of 5]

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Arabelle's Shadows Review
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Full formatting of this review at link above.


ARABELLE'S SHADOWS is similar to Ellen Hopkins' novels: emotionally gripping and heartbreakingly realistic. It's like therapy, in a book. It is based on a true story, the author's own experiences. But at the core, ARABELLE'S SHADOWS is about a lost girl who just gets caught up in life because there isn't anyone to guide her in the right direction.

As a model, Arabelle is already facing pressure on body image, drugs, and romantic trysts-what a real teenager faces except tenfold. People who she thought were her friends end up having ulterior motives, and no one is really there to help set her straight. With all the pressure and no one to lean on, Arabelle succumbs to the Shadows.

The Shadows are familiar, disturbing close. They know everything about you, everything you've ever done, and they like to remind you when you're low, making you fall deeper into them. Everyone has their own Shadows, each one taking a unique form. I think that is what makes this so great, it is relatable. All of us knows the feeling of your own personal Shadow leaning over your shoulder, just ready for you to doubt yourself and your happiness.

Written like a diary, the writing takes some getting used to. After all, it goes against what we have been taught: show, don't tell. A diary is the epitome of telling. The diary was a strong point in major parts of the novel, but sometimes it was a weakness.

I thought this would focus on more modeling, and I am glad to see that was not the case. It's more of a background, to show you how the atmosphere makes it so easy to develop Shadows. I also had doubts because it was based on a true story, but I was wrong. The reality is what makes the novel even stronger.

With a few faults, ARABELLE'S SHADOWS is a great read for those fighting their own Shadows, and fans of heavy contemporary/realistic fiction.

[Nevaeh Lee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Written in diary form, this coming of age story is based on real-life events and provides an interesting look at the not-so-perfect life of aspiring international models. Arabelle's Shadows is quite different from many of the New Adult books I have reviewed in the past, which is not a bad thing at all. I like different.

The story deals with very real issues, including depression, eating disorders, and suicide, to name a few. And though there are guys galore, it isn't your typical boy meets girl, lots of angst ensues, boy and girl finally get together, boy and girl have major misunderstanding, and then boy and girl make up and live happily ever after. No, this book is real and deals with very real situations, insecurities, and relationships, which more often than not, are messy.

The author flashed back to the past throughout the book, which in this case, added to the story and I was able to follow along easily. Sometimes continual flashbacks can be confusing, but I think it was well done and actually much-needed in this book, since it allowed you to see where the demons that the character was constantly battling began. And speaking of those demons....

I imagine people think that being depressed is like being sad. It's not. Sadness is a pure, natural emotion. It helps you grieve; it can comfort you. Sadness comes from the memories of something great that's been lost. Depression is not sadness. Depression is hollowness, nothingness. Depression is hell.

I thought that this differentiation between the two was really right on target.

I so desperately want him to save me, but I've been here before many times. I've waited for guys to save me but they never did. No one can save you, you have to save yourself.

Truer words were never spoken.


***I was provided a copy of this book in exchange for a fair and honest opinion.

[Dianne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Arabelle’s Shadows by Fleur Gaskin is not a light read, it’s not an easy read, but it is intense, dark and told with gut-wrenching starkness. There are no straight timelines, there are flashbacks to a dysfunctional youth, self-destructive moments as a young adult in a world far too impersonal, with no boundaries, and diary entries that often seem more like pleas for help, as well as Arabelle’s own insight into her behavior. Her depression and lack of self-esteem lead her into a world where she strives for a misguided validation as a person of worth. That Arabelle could only think to use her body to validate that worth is sadly disturbing, that she seemed to realize this is even worse as she struggles to find happiness in all the wrong places. Her “Shadows” followed her as she tried to escape. No matter which exotic place she went to, how outrageous she acted, she could not outrun them.
Fleur Gaskin has done an amazing job of creating each scene, baring the ugliness of Arabelle’s life, her thoughts and her actions. That it happened in the fashion world where narcissism reigns supreme only magnified the horrors within the mind of her character, which she tells in a brutally real way. Each satellite character was drawn as an enabler to the main character’s plight, and they were all created so very flawed, that many seemed totally nonredeemable. Emotionally, I was completely drawn in and often very uncomfortable, meaning Fleur Gaskin has done her job well, delivering a powerful story that will hover in the recesses of your mind.

[E.K. Ellis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Arabelle's Shadows gives you a peek inside the life of a troubled model plagued with demons.
Arabelle’s struggles to fit in and find her-self all the while struggling not to self-destruct; is a neurotic haunting tale of a young girl seeking desperately to integrate her life into the world of modeling.
Being in one of the most difficult and narcissistic profession’s doesn't help her “shadows” that are always near forcing Arabelle to succumb to their constant nagging away of her self-esteem.
Arabelle's Shadows draws you in to the story comparable to tentacles of an octopus latching on to your heart and emotions and suffocating you with the pain of the character.
In the end after the last sentence is read you know you’ve been on a journey with this young woman. You can’t help but to cheer her on wishing her well on her next adventure; growing up and making intelligent adult decisions; finding what real love is and facing her “shadows” once and for all.
Author Fleur Gaskin has performed an outstanding job letting the reader see into the life of a model. Money, fame, prestige, and the all obsession of weight is a high price to pay for something that may or may not bring true happiness and that’s loving ones self.

[Lemurkat · Rating 5 out of 5]

Firstly, I would like to thank Fleur very much for sharing her book with me. When I received the email asking if I would be interested in R&Ring her book, I was a little skeptical at first, but I read a few pages online and decided it was worth giving it a go. It's not my typical reading matter, but that doesn't matter because it caught me hook, line and sinker.

The life of an international model sounds like it should be glamorous - but in reality, it is not. It is a difficult market in which to find your niche and make your fortune. But this book is more than a story about a young woman trying to make her mark in the world - this is the story of a young woman trying to beat her inner demons: her shadows.

This is a book about depression. Self esteem. Manipulation and deceit.

It is a candid, very personal story that is fiction, but could very well be fact. The shifts between time periods do require some concentration, and there are a lot of names to remember, but the story flows into a coherant whole. Although not perfect, the writing style is strong enough to convey the message and hook the reader. Overall, it is one story I shall be thinking about long after I've finished it.

[Rivie Bleu · Rating 4 out of 5]

Originally posted on Bookshelf (full review)

This book deals with a lot of issues, I think everyone can find something to relate. As I was reading I kept wondering about it, it's written in form of a journal so I didn't know where it would lead. Knowing is based on a true story, I believe it makes it even more powerful.

The way is written, it talks about previous dates but we're focusing on her present, you keep going back and forth, so sometimes it was a bit hard to keep track of the details. Still, it only took a couple of phrases to remind me what had happened and what she was talking about.
It definitely needs your attention; some stories are similar since she relates them to her present life.

No matter if you relate to the character personally or not, there is so much you can get out of this book. It's a little strong and sad but it's a different way to see the people around you and yourself. Especially, knowing it's based on a true story.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

* I received a complimentary copy from the author in exchange for an honest review.

Loosely based on the author's life this book tells the story of Arabelle's desire to make it as a model and her fight to overcome depression- what she calls her "Shadows". The book is told in diary form and flashbacks- I thought the shifts in time flowed nicely back and forth. I couldn't get much into the passages about her modeling but when she described her fight to overcome depression I found myself engrossed in that story. I rooted for her and found myself hoping she'd finally find happiness.For that alone I recommend the book.

[Ana · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 Stars

Also on Chibi Reader

I'm going to be totally honest here. As I was reading the book I had no freaking idea what the ending would be like or what message the book was supposed to pass to the readers, if there was one. We have Arabelle, a failing model who is trying to get her life up together and become a famous model, while fighting a depression. But then I started thinking, and wasn't it shocking when I found out the book was making me think, I finally found a book that made me freaking think!



You must be wondering what kind of reader I am. Well, I read fast, like, I usually read a book in 2 days, 3 max., and I only take longer when I don't like the book I'm reading and it's just dragging along. This book took me longer to read not because it was bad. It took me so much time because it was simply stunning in its simplistic writing and because the story just kept giving be fodder for thought. I read a chapter and I often stopped, not just reading, I actually stopped and stared into nothing and just though. I was pleasantly surprised!

Now, about what happens in the book. Arabelle is not a strong woman. She is fragile, that can be easily broken and, like what happened with me, can get under your skin. To be honest, she can be downright annoying sometimes but then, you get to the next page and find out another thing about her that makes you understand why she does certain things. Throughout the book we are always switching from the present to flashbacks and vice versa. However, these switches weren't confusing at all and I always knew were I was standing in the story. They were essential to understand Arabelle's past and her behaviour in the present. What might put some people off was that the scenes changed too much. We are in the present but suddenly we are reading about her childhood and then we are knowing about her travelling years (she travelled a lot when she was at the beginning of career). This was the only bad thing I found in the book because the scenes always changed when I was focused in the present and something big was happening. God, how I just wanted to pass those parts to just get to the present but then I started reading and just became engrossed with another part of her life. And on it went...

On thing that made me laugh was the fact that, even though Arabelle meets with a lot (and I say A LOT) of people through the book I was able to remember every single one of them. It was like I was living there with her meeting her friends. Damn, if a model life is like that I don't know if I would cope with it. Too crowded for me. Anyway, one thing that left me with my jaw at my feet was when Arabelle says " I'm rarely attracted to people". Puh-lease. Throughout the book she is always falling in love. It probably is because of her fragile state of mind but she gets easily attached to people and most of the book is about her relationships. That kind of shocked because it was the biggest lie she could tell herself. However, this was before the actual story is set but even then she got attached to people real fast.

But what made Arabelle likable then if she was as weak as I described before? It was how real she was. On of my favourite quotes is

"I'd been waiting for the right person to come along. I wish I could tell you that I waited longer. That my first time was something special. I can't."

Even though she is ashamed of it, Arabelle doesn't end up hiding the stuff she's not proud of. She bares it all in her diary and tries to live with no regrets. However, this doesn't happen and she gets often depressed. But she always manages to get herself together and fight her Evil Shadows as she calls them.

But this book is not all about depression and sad thoughts! God, if it was I would also be depressed by the end. No, it has his moments of humour (even though some were included in sad times for Arabelle).

"I think he'd finally gotten the message when Mum began leaving "The Idiots' Guide to Divorce" lying on the kitchen table."

In the end, after reading about so many characters and, even though I knew them all, I had some trouble finding out who Arabelle ended up with. It wasn't much of a shock to me not who it was but the fact that it was a girl. Arabelle is always saying that she prefers women but wow, I did not expect her to end up with who she ended up with.

On another note, I totally approve of the course she was planing on taking by the end of the book. Of course, I'm only saying this because I'm actually taking that same course! Oh the coincidence! International Relations seems like the perfect thing for her to study in my opinion given that she has travelled so much and has so many important acquaintances in so many parts of the world.

*Arabelle’s Shadows was provided by the author in exchange of a honest review.*

[Bec (Aussie Book Dragon) · Rating 3 out of 5]

More crazy reviews can be found at Ransom Reads

MAJOR SELLING POINTS:
Exotic World



I don't think I have ever once read a book set in so many different places. As an international model, Arabelle travels a lot and visits places I've barely heard about and can only dream of seeing. Each area had it's own problems, but also some strengths and all were interesting to read about. The insight to the modelling world through a not-really-famous model was also a great experience, as I don't think I'd ever end up in that line of work.

Character Struggles



With character driven works like this, it's really the struggles of the characters that keep you interested. And Arabelle had a lot of troubles over her life. A lot. I wish we heard more of her good experiences, and maybe a tad more of what happened after she came to her realisation at the end.

SWASHBUCKLING:



This is not a happy book. You do not get to follow a model who starts from the bottom and shoots to the top. That's not Arabelle's story. A lot of this is about depression and other illnesses, and how they have followed Arabelle throughout her life and career, and her struggle to overcome them. There are also many, many other horrible things that happen to the poor girl, and it's shocking to come to understand the events she has blocked from her memory. It's a very heart breaking read, but does have a fairly happy ending I believe.

LINGO:



This book was written almost in a diary entry style, which I don't normally like, but the flash backs to Arabelle's childhood and early years at a model really saved it for me. Everything is from Arabelle's POV and the way her voice is written made it easy for me to relate to and understand her, even when I was annoyed at her. It was heartbreaking to read about some of the things she tried to do and the reasons behind them.

CREW:
Arabelle



Arabelle's life has been one of the hardest I've ever read about. Her family is... kind of crap, her track record with guys is terrible, and nothing ever seems to go right for long. She makes some really stupid decisions that make me pity her, and her obsession with this arsehole Naak was just messed up and annoying. Yet I understand why she did what she did (except for Naak. I hate him). Arabelle is very honest to journal/reader and relateable.

SWOONABILITY:



I never really thought there was that much romance in this book. Just Arabelle pining after guys she couldn't have (and really couldn't want because they were 99% douchebags except for maybe one or two who were taken). Arabelle was also bi, which was a first for me. I've never come across a book with bi/gay main characters before, so it's a refreshing change. But still, she had terrible luck and none of those relationships were meaningful enough for me to call romance.

SHIPS:
-Arabelle x happiness
-Arabelle x mental stability

[Bonnie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This review was originally posted on Bookish Ardour.


I love epistolary style novels. I think the style gives the reader a more in-depth view of the character and creates an intimate atmosphere you don’t usually get in a third person narrative. Arabelle’s Shadows is told in epistolary format with the character logging her experiences of present time cut with flashbacks of her past.

I was taken with Arabelle straight away and I believe it is due to the format of writing. The character speaks to you and, much like a real diary, shares her fears, woes, and jubilations in a way only a real life conversation can. When you’re editing and pay attention to how people speak you begin to notice just how many words people use. We all do it. Some of us ramble on far more and take what feels like an eternity to others to get to the point. Others get straight to the heart of the matter with clipped sentences. Most of us are somewhere in-between, speaking with a healthy dose of ramble and short and sweet sentences.

Arabelle’s Shadows is in-between and at first it’s appealing, having the ability to grab you with the emotion and struggle the story contains, but after a while I found her manner of speaking too drawn out for reading. Epistolary can be a great format to tell a story with but, as with any narrative, it can be hard to focus when the characters tend to speak in a common real life way.

I believe this to be one reason why it took me longer to read Arabelle’s Shadows than it would have taken to read other novels. I needed a break from the style of writing, but when I would pick the story up again I found myself wanting to keep reading. There’s a clash of a need to have a break and a need to keep going. Fortunately the need to keep reading won out.

I’m not unfamiliar with battling depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and suicidal thoughts. Naturally when I first heard about Arabelle’s Shadows I was intrigued and was currently seeking help for my own issues. Between then and now I have made progress and turned my negativity into positive thinking. The course of my life affects how I view this story. I don’t think I would have been able to read it six months ago. Now I can look back I don’t think it would have been healthy for me to do so, but I haven’t forgotten how it felt to be overtaken by your negative side. I believe this to be the other reason for why I took longer to read Arabelle’s Shadows.

Personally I couldn’t help but feel empathy for Arabelle. I wanted her to succeed, but not in a monetary way, in an emotional and self-respective way. My heart ached for her when she was at her lowest and I felt a sense of joy when she had moments of peace and strength. I’m not sure if this is only because of my past history with mental illness and having toxic people in my life, but I would like to think Arabelle’s Shadows would get under the skin of those who have not struggled so in their lives.

[Jaki · Rating 4 out of 5]

Intense. Very intense. Depression is an insidious thing – it’s not just being sad or upset or feeling blue. It’s an horrendous thing that can take over every part of your life. And this book does quite a good job of expressing what it is like to live with it. In fact, there were quite a few times when I had to put the book down and stop reading, because when Arabelle’s Shadows spoke to her (or rather, tormented her), I knew what it was like, and had to take a break.

Arabelle is struggling to make it as a model – probably one of the worst professions you could be in when dealing with depression. When your entire career rests on how you look, and what your surface exterior is, the Shadows really have a field day. And modelling isn’t all fun and games and glamour. She travels throughout Asia and parts of Europe, going from agency to agency, trying to find work, picking up a bit here and there, but nothing major, nothing that will catapult her into stardom..or even, the steady money. Along the way she makes extremely bad choices about men (for the love of pete, Arabelle, I wanted to shake you sometimes with the choices you made, girl! Aaaaargh!!), makes some good friends and some not-so-good friends, and struggles with depression. Sometimes she’s felt she’s beaten the Shadows; other times they are there with a vengeance, ready to destroy her.

It’s an interesting book in that it doesn’t really have a conventional plot. It’s told in memoir style, or diary style if you will. So we really get an insight into her character, rather than if it was told in third person. There’s no real “this happened, then that happened, then we had a major car chase with the baddies through the streets of Paris, then everything turned out well” type of plot. And there are flashbacks to her youth, growing up in New Zealand with a rather dysfunctional family. Actually, I found her growing up flashbacks to be the most intense, the most heartbreaking read of the book. It really hit me, what she went through, what she felt and thought, and I felt like I was sent right back to my teenage days and was there with her. And those were the parts where I felt I really had to take a break and go away and not remember.

Apparently, it’s based on a real story, and knowing the author Fleur Gaskin was a model, it makes me wonder how much of what Arabelle went through happened to her…and how the hell she dealt with it. If you’ve ever had the Shadows speak to you, this is a very intense, very heartbreaking, and very real book. If it’s never happened to you, read it anyway, cos it really does you give you insight into how people feel. They’re not just sad, they’re not just in a blue mood….the Shadows are killers, and while Arabelle occasionally REALLY sinks into their depths, she does come back, thank goodness.

[Bianca · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would like to thank the author for providing me with an ecopy in exchange for an honest review.

Wow. After I ended this book that was the first thought that came to mind. Wow because I don't think I have ever read a book as deep as this one. This book was written differently than most others. It was written in the form of a diary or a journal. I think this was great on the author's part to do this because it allowed you to truly connect to the main character, Arabelle.

The book focused on Arabelle, a struggling model who deals with her shadows, otherwise known to the general population as depression.

"Depression is not sadness. Depression is hollowness, nothingness. Depression is hell. It's a pain of the mind that feels like every millimetre of your body is being stabbed by white hot needles all at once."

While the book was not a fun read per se, it was enjoyable in the fact that it was well written and it dealt with depression in a way that I haven't seen or read in other books.

You get a lot of insight into the mind of Arabelle and her emotions. You experience her inner struggles as she deals with becoming a model and her self-conscious issues that she has dealt with since she was younger. I feel that the author strongly depicted depression. As someone who majored in psychology in college, I felt that the author did a great job at bringing up a topic that needs to be more discussed out in the open.

Without realizing it, this book also brought up my assumptions about modeling. Of course when I look at magazines, tv, etc you see these beautiful girls. But as a society we need to realize these are women just like us. They have feelings, fears, and insecurities. Perhaps if depression was not swept under the rug, people like Arabelle wouldn't have to suffer in silence like she did for so many years.

I found that I enjoyed getting to know Arabelle. She acknowledged the shadows that haunted her daily, however I felt the strength and determination that lived inside of her. With that being said, I found that I need to know if Arabelle is still ok. I cannot say if there was a HEA, because I don't want to spoil anything for the reader. However with a realistic topic such as this one, the ending might surprise you.

Overall, I really am glad I was given the opportunity to read this book. It was a nice break from all the bubblegum reading I've done lately. Don't get me wrong. I love romance just like the next girl. However, I also enjoy reading about real topics that at times I can even relate to. I recommend this book to stone who is looking for a deep, well written story about a girl exposing her struggles as she strives to reach her goals.

[Sharrice · Rating 3 out of 5]

See original post here!

I received a copy of Arabelle's Shadow's for an honest review.

Arabelle’s Shadows is about the life of a young model who suffers from depression. Throughout the story Fleur Gaskin paints the detailed picture of Arabelle’s life through journal entries. Arabelle deals with depression throughout the entire book and many times has things called shadows that leave Arabelle in a constant state of depression. Arabelle goes a couple years into the modeling industry trying to make friends, and make it big. However, lots of things get in the way of Arabelle making her goal to become famous such as her look and her agency. The constant struggles of the people Arabelle associates with, drugs, lack of work, family problems, and depression make everyday life a living hell for Arabelle. The shadows of doubt and low self-esteem always hit Arabelle and make her shut down for days at a time. In the end she realizes she never could achieve what she wants to do with the career she had been aspiring to do all those years and decides to pave a new life.

Arabelle’s Shadows for me was an interesting read in that being a psychology major it painted the picture more accurately of depression than a text book. The entire story showed the day to day struggles of modeling which wasn’t a total surprise to me but definitely showed a side not many people think about when the image of modeling pops up in their heads. Fleur Gaskin certainly opened up my eyes into the world of modeling that was so detailed it seemed the author had lived this life herself.

A couple issues I had with the book were the flashbacks and the length. At some points in Arabelle’s journals she would have flashbacks of her old life and some of them were extremely jumbled. Also when the journal would cut to the past and then current time then back to the past I got lost with exactly when and where Arabelle was. Another thing was the length, I felt Arabelle’s Shadows was extremely lengthy and I don’t think it needed to be. A lot of the story was on repeat of interactions and daily things that I didn’t think really needed to be in there.

Overall, Arabelle’s Shadows is definitely and eye opening story about a girls struggles in the modeling industry and depression. The story is definitely not for everyone but for some people I think they will enjoy it a lot. While in the end I found the whole story a true dedication to the struggles of depression I also found the story unmemorable. Fleur Gaskin definitely has an amazingly detailed writing style which I don’t generally go for but at some points was perfectly okay with.

[Dean Mayes · Rating 4 out of 5]

I came to Fleur Gaskin's landmark new novel "Arabelle's Shadows" having been invited to review it by the author herself.

Told in a style that is part diary, part biographical reminisces "Arabelle's Shadows" is an accessible reading experience that brings to life the Asian cities of Bangkok and Hong Kong in such a way that I was reminded a little of Graeme Greene's "The Quiet American" and his own vivid depiction of pre-Vietnam war Saigon. Gaskin paints a convincing portrait of the steamy and exotic within Thailand with its kinetic culture and sexuality. Its adoption of the excesses of the West and their recasting into something quite Eastern is a paradox that Gaskin brings to the page very well and, having visited Thailand myself, I found myself easily transported by her style.

Gaskin juxtaposes these scenes with a complex, reflective tableaux harkening back to her formative years in New Zealand, her beginnings in the modelling industry and her early travelling experiences, all of which inform the main story in a way that has you thinking about the ramifications before they have been revealed.

But it is Gaskin's depiction of depression, that she characterizes as The Shadows, which proves to be the most effective and central success of the book. It is easy to dismiss the hyper-glamour of international modelling, where self obsession, indulgence and excess at all costs are considered something of a job requirement. However, Gaskin reminds us, through her auto-biographical protagonist Arabelle, that behind the glamour there resides people who bring with them a Pandora's box of their human experiences which have shaped them and influence them continually - even though they may not realize it.

I found the journey of Arabelle at once confronting, powerful and identifiable. Much of her experience resonated with me and the deeper I got into the book, the more involved I became with it. Her heart rending back story skilfully informs and illuminates the main story in a way that inspires sympathy for Arabelle but more importantly, it encourages empathy and understanding. Arabelle's battle is a courageous one. The path towards self reflection and illumination is intelligently layered and emotionally satisfying. Resolution is implied but it is not wrapped up in a neat bow. Rather, the lesson is that the journey is ongoing.

Arabelle's Shadows is one of those books that should be required reading for any young woman coming of age - in fact anybody coming of age. It is a luminous literary achievement.

[Elicia · Rating 4 out of 5]

You can also find this review at http://girlinthewoodsreviews.blogspot...

Detailed Review: I must say I wasn't immediately pulled into the story but I am still going to give it a high rating. Why?

This book is different than others in so many ways. The story, the concept, the descriptions, they felt like they were coming from a different life and world.

What I think made me impressed was the author's ability to describe the simplest feelings like love and depression. And also, it feels real, and I think it reflects the author's life as a model before she wrote this book. Not many books can give me this feeling of reality because they were simply too perfect or too simple.

Every diary I’ve ever written has been sad. It seems I only ever write when I’m depressed or overwhelmed or some bad thing has happened. Not this time though. This diary’s going to be happy!

Arabelle has finally managed to escape her family and home in New Zealand, where problems have been plaguing her. She intends to become an actress, but decides to become an international model for more exposure towards the entertainment industry. In her career, she visited many countries such as Thailand, France, Malaysia, South Korea and Greece.

Now and then, the Shadows come and urge her into surrendering to them, but everyday she fights a battle with them where a stalemate is always reached. She believes in not losing to them. She believes in life.

She has always been a sensitive person, when someone near her gets hurt, she would also shoulder the very same feelings the person is experiencing, causing her to develop a depression since she was young.

I was actually flattered by how Kuala Lumpur was described with positive remarks. It's great if somebody thinks the place you stay in is good.

Brief Review: This book is beautiful and has its flaws, but doesn't every person have his or her flaws too? The book was a really great experience and I'm glad that I decided to agree in reviewing it. It makes us believe that we have the right to have our own life and not let negativity take over. This will give people another perspective of life where nothing is perfect but sheer determination will always help you overcome.

Final Rating: 4/5 'Really Liked It'

QUOTE:

I believe Arabelle and the author Fleur herself had this thought in their heads when they pursued their careers:

Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough---- Og Mandino

[Tanja Brewer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Arabelle is aspiring to be an actress but in the mean time is modeling. Looking to become a huge success modeling then moving on to her passion which is acting. Arabelle is having some minor success and traveling to beautiful exotic places. All while trying to live her dream though she is followed by a darkness, voices within her talking her into doing unthinkable things such as trying to take her own life and trying to convince her that she is not worthy of love. Arabelle's childhood was far from great and she couldn't wait to get out and be on her own to follow her dreams. She has been through hell and back but still found ways to keep pushing forward even though her depression was trying its hardest to take over her live and push he back down in a hole. As I read this book I began to feel for Arabelle her depression was at the surface and she did everything possible to keep it at bay and try to live her life but every time she would open her heart or let her walls down just a little she was bombarded with horrible thoughts and feelings. At first while reading this book I was confused by the dates and times knowing it was written in journal form her day to day experiences and sometimes there were gaps in her entries or there would be a flash back into her childhood or into a dark period that she remembered. As I read though everything flowed from one point to another so I didn't find myself obsessing as much over trying to remember the entry dates and times. I found this writing style to be very different from my usual reads and I liked the fresh style. It kind of reminded me of a movie I once watched with all the flash backs to an earlier time whether it was a happy or sad time. In this case most of the time Arabelle was reflecting on something sad but there were those few times she was truly happy where you really had hope for her and wanted everything to go her way and for her to have the happily ever after she deserved for what she has endured. Arabelle has some very interesting friends and stories from her travels in Asia and Europe and that was always interesting to read about the things she was experiencing. I really did enjoy reading this book and I will be looking into more of Ms. Gaskins books.

[Anastasia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Arabelle's Shadows is based on a true story. It is written in a form of a diary and it takes a reader through all of the hardships in life and hardships of overcoming depression. I honestly had a hard time finishing this book. I wanted to give up half way through the story. But I always finish the book that I started, usually to see it it gets any better. Did this one got better for me? Well it's hard to tell. The main problem I had of reading it, is because it felt like it was going in circles. She tried to make it big and just when she started to, she hit the bottom. She got back up and tried again and again she almost made it but something went wrong and she fall into depression again. Don't get me wrong the whole point and the messages of the book were great, it really got me into thinking after I finished it. But the going in circles thing and the characters! The characters, especially Arabelle's at some points I just couldn't stand her. Like the way she keeps making the same mistake over and over again, or the way she keeps talking about the guy Naak, or other guys and how she always date wrong ones. It was really annoying at times. Than what did I liked about the book?
Well like I said, I liked the message that the author tried to deliver, I think it was well delivered. Also how realistic she wrote about depression, and how she tried to deal with it. All of the feeling she wrote about, those parts of the book felt real to me. The way she put those feeling into words, also one of the things that amaze me.

"I imagine people think that being depressed is like being sad. It's not. Sadness is a pure, natural emotion. It helps you grieve; it can comfort you. Sadness comes from the memories of something great that's been lost. Depression is not sadness. Depression is hollowness, nothingness. Depression is hell.It's a pain of the mind that feels like every millimetre of your body is being stabbed by white hot needles all at once."


Since it was the first book author wrote and since it was written in a diary form, I think she did a good job. I feel like a lot of people will enjoy this book.

[Rabid Readers Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Arrabelle's Shadows" is written in the style of diary and brings us to the heart of an insecure young model. She fights failure, depression and the sense of really truly wanting someone to approve of and love her. Her relationship with her father is summed up in a dinner when she returns to New Zealand. He tells her he's proud of her and her heart swells until she realizes that he's drunk. Suddenly her relationships within the novel are put into perspective. This is a woman who needs a hug from someone who means that hug just for her.

Arrabelle's story isn't chronologically written but the switches between years are segregated by chapter so easy to follow. Each line follows a personal disappointment. A time when Arrabelle feels she's failed and the "shadows" creep in. Based on Gaskin's own life, the story does have a very personal feel. You are reading the often harsh and sometimes destructive life of a model first hand. The sort of life that America's Next Top Model hints at but struggles to convey with bubbly and adoring Tyra at the helm. A model must not be too curvy, they must be interesting. Arrabelle, who is more of an editorial model and can't pull off the big money commercial jobs, is given diet pills by a photographer when she's deemed too fat. Modeling, it appears, is all about constantly working on ones shape and image and nothing is up to par. The life is devastating for someone who wants something as simple as just being good enough.

Arrabelle's story is in the spirit of such classics as "Bright Lights, Big City." It's well written and well told from an insider's view looking back. There's a feeling of other-worldliness in setting which is very well described. Arrabella is growing up before our eyes and we can't help but cheer for her.

If you like coming of age stories, human struggle stories and generally raw looks into a field where most people have a short shelf life, I think you'd have a hard time finding a better example than "Arrabelle's Shadows."

[Natasha Holme · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love the intimacy of diaries. Arabelle's Shadows combines diary entries with fleshed out episodes of story-telling. We're in 2004/2005 when Arabelle is modelling in Bangkok as a young adult, but we're thrown back intermittently into the preceding years of international travel, and back to her childhood in New Zealand. I thought at first that the dotting around in time might disorient me, but it worked well with the growing impression I had of the chaos in the author's mind.

Arabelle is a fragile, sensitive young woman who is deeply affected by the emotions of those around her. She has turned her feelings inwards to deep states of depression and self-harm. The extent of this is revealed gradually, so that with each further revelation of cause and effect I was struck with shock and (hopefully) some insight into how it must feel to experience life in this way. I was certainly depressed in my early twenties (I'm now forty-three), but not at all as the author describes here (or this deeply). One sentence leapt out at me to help me feel I understood a little: "The person writing this down doesn't recognise the person who's feeling all this pain."

Arabelle's struggle reminded me of Portia de Rossi's story. How bizarre it is to read that someone so gorgeous, an international model no less, can believe she's ugly, and that someone so compassionate and popular can believe she is worthless.

We follow Arabelle as she tries to make sense of her pain and attempts to find relief in drugs, boyfriends, compassion for others, and spirituality. The text asks a question that I'd like to answer: "Doesn't every spiritual guide say that we have free choice?" Well, not in my experience, no. Byron Katie says "Your life is none of your business." Tony Parsons and Jeff Foster watch their lives, they do not experience being the agents of them.

[Gaele · Rating 4 out of 5]

In a fictionalized story drawn from real life, we meet Arabelle, a fashion model who happens to have a major depressive disorder, in an industry that thrives on perky, rail-thin girls: barely out of adolescence and often victimized by the adults who are seeking to gain from their image.

Fleur Gaskin shows the underbelly of fashion modeling: the long hours, constant rejection and manipulation, substance abuse, unhealthy habits and the focus on only the superficial. Difficult enough for someone with a solid sense of self-esteem and backbone, but devastatingly damaging to most of the girls we meet in this story. But Arabelle is dealing with much more: battling depression and the associated physical and psychological symptoms, in an industry that takes no prisoners and suffers no excuses.

Emotionally raw and gripping, there are lessons to be had for everyone: parents of potential models, model wanna-bes and even those who encounter or think of a pretty face as just that. These women work hard for little recognition or security for 99% of them. It also provides real insight into the workings of a depressed mind, as we watch Arabelle struggle with her depression, struggling to stay afloat in a world and industry that would do little but watch her sink.

Gaskin is a lovely storyteller with a flair for honestly reliving and detailing her own experiences and putting them on the page for readers. Far from a light and breezy read, the story has and shows hope and determination to survive and succeed, even when things are darkest. Truly an interesting and gripping read that will give you new insight into depression and the modeling industry.

I received an eBook from the author for purpose of honest review. I was not compensated for this review: all conclusions are my own responsibility.

[Ottilie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Within us there is this evil voice hoping to pull you into the deep and dark side of gloom, it feeds off misery. Fleur Gaskin is an author who write a based on a true story about a model named Arabelle who is just struggling to not only to become famous as a model, but also just to survive. Arabelle had been battling against depression since she was little. Her home life was never good, which only grew worse as she got older. the constant yelling drove her to go travel as a model where she was traveling the world, meeting all sorts of different people that either helped quietened the evil Shadow or caused the voice to seem like it had a microphone. This is the perfect story for anyone who thinks they are alone and are in the need for hope.

For me this story was more like a three star story, however I believed because of the different style and her actual writing so that the readers who might not be able to relate are completely in Arabelle's head, feeling her pain as well. The book is told in present day and flashback from her childhood and when she is traveling more as a model, when the shadow was stronger. You can clearly tell by all the background knowledge that Fleur herself was a model, because the readers will understand how the modeling process works. I have a friend who has been battling an eating disorder for a few years now, and I had always told her that within all of us there is a deep dark voice, but it just for us to try to block it out, that it is sometimes louder for some than others. It was good to read Arabelle's Shadows to see that play out. This is a good book for anyone who is in search of the light at the end of the tunnel of struggle.

[Ashley Knapp · Rating 2 out of 5]

4/5

This was all around a good read. I have been putting off this review because I wanted to do it the best way I could.

OK, so you want to know what you go through with depression? Read this. I, personally, suffer from depression and this book was like walking in my head only with a different person and story. Arabelle is written in a way where nothing is held back. This book is in Diary format so you get to see how everything is from Arabelle's POV.

The self harm tendencies, taking everything a step too far, self medicating, destructive behaviors, anxiety is all part of the disease. I will tell you from personal experience that each person is different, but you do all these things when you are depressed. I don't like admitting my problems, but this book is so wonderful in the depiction that it makes you feel better about your disease, and like I said gives a person who has never had to deal with it an up close, in your face, this is how it is view.

The reason for 4 out of 5? There were times when I did get a little bored or annoyed with Arabelle. There are some things she does that I just wanted to shake her.

All in All this is a great book. It is a dark and fresh book. It gives a look into the world of modeling and the mind of a depressed person. If you suffer from the disease, it makes you feel a tiny bit better to see how you feel in words. To see someone else put it down and describe it to a T.

Check this one out.


Find more of my reviews @ Caught Reading Redheaded

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! This book was heart wrenching and addictive. Arabelle is an unusual beauty from New Zealand who is trying to make it in the modeling world. Without any luck in American, she heads to exotic lands such as Thailand, London, and Amsterdam. The novel is done in journal entries that vary between her teenage self, adult self, and present. The reader is lead on the rather sad and confusing journey as she tries to make a look for herself in an often floundering market. Arabelle has yet to have an actual boyfriend and really struggles to learn who she genuinely is. She experiments with different relationships with a few very different people, but ends up picking only those that seem to use and abuse her inherit innocence and persistence to please others. Throughout the whole book she battles severe, capital D depression, which is called The Shadows.

I think every young person, male or female, can understand the struggles Arabelle goes through and how she acts out in her desperation for just a little bit of understanding. The book ends with a peaceful note and the main character definitely gets rewards for all her struggles. I can’t help but wonder if this is autobiographical by the author because of the poignant insights this story pours out.

Be warned of many stomach churning moments and adult situations.

I was given a copy of this ebook from the author in exchange for an honest review.

[Zoe · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have very mixed feelings about this book.


Firstly, I'll start with the positives. Arabelle is a fascinating character as she is very hard to describe, partly because she doesn't know who she is herself. She battles against the 'shadows', the voices in her head telling her she is no good, and learns life lessons. This is a brilliant example of character development: Arabelle's journey is a rollercoaster and she is a very different person at the end to who she was at the beginning. Gaskin did a brilliant job of making the characters come to life.


Although my complaints are partly things wrong with the book (the time scale was confusing, as the dates went back and forth), my other complaints are things that I didn't like but should still be kept in the book. Some parts of this book drag on for a bit, but they do so for a reason. As it is set out in a diary/memoir format, there are sometimes pages and pages of Arabelle's morose emotions. Since this book is about dealing with depression, those pages are required.


Overall, Arabelle's Shadows is nothing mind-blowing but is still an interesting story. It is a very poignant novel about a woman who tries to find her way in the world which can relate to many people. In my opinion, this isn't a YA book as it contains adult themes but if you're not offended easily, I'd suggest to give it a go.

[Kirsty Bicknell · Rating 4 out of 5]

On opening Arabelle's Shadows I knew immediately that this wasn't the kind of book I would normally read, however there was something strangely compelling about it. I am not sure if it was Fleur Gaskin's flowing diary form, or just the truthfulness of the narrative. At times Arabelle's Shadows is painful to read, particularly for someone who has suffered from depression.
Initially, I found the jumps in time difficult and would end up confused but I soon adjusted to Fleur Gaskin's stream of consciousness style and I became too involved in Arabelle's world to realise which point in time we were in, only the story.
In reading someone's private journal and thoughts we become part of that pain and I think Fleur Gaskin ensures because of that we never judge Arabelle, we just understand her reasons why.
The book is not all melancholic, on Arabelle's journey's as a model she meets many people, experiences different cultures and tells stories with humour and imagination, captivating us in the moment. I feel this is when the character merges with the author and it is difficult to separate them.
Arabelle's Shadows is a journey in which I felt closely connected to the main character because of the style of writing used. Although I understand it may not be for everyone this book is beautifully written and I hope that there will be those of you who will take a chance on Fleur Gaskin.

[Claire Carey · Rating 3 out of 5]

Written in a diary form the book needs concentration. There were times where i forgot where in the time line the writer was as she jumped between present past and dream states. Modelling and the fashion industry isn't really of any interest to me, but i found the Shadows part of Arabelle's life very gripping. I can totally relate to the way she was totally controlled by them and caught up in what they were telling her. Since the book is based on a true story i can only make the assumption that the author has first hand experience of depression in its many forms and guises. The different cultures was also of interest to me and the way that they helped or didn't some case.
The author has a good grasp of language and manages to draw the reader into feeling for some character while turning them away from others. This is always a good point for me, as not all writers can do this for me. I like to be able to feel part of the story, and for the most part i did in this. I wanted to go travelling with the main character. And i wanted so much to be there to help her with her Shadows.
I rate this book as 3 stars. Had it not been about Fashion and modelling then it would have rated more highly for me.