The Dick

by Jimmy Pudge

Ex porn star Jonny Sausage wants to be more than a cook at a fast food dive, so he obtains his P.I. certificate online. It sounds exciting enough, being a private eye, but Jonny has no idea how crazy things are going to get once this gorgeous vampire dame by the name of Cristabel Swan enters his office. Swan needs a ruthless investigator to find out why her family members are being murdered, and Jonny feels he's the right dick for the job.

156 pages, Paperback

First published August 13, 2012

About the author

Jimmy James "M.F." Pudge was born into this world on 6-9-1979 in a truck stop toilet at a TA Travel Center in the backwoods of South Georgia. An honest and conscientious man, Jimmy served several prison sentences because he refused to give in to the federal laws that impose independent spirits' rights to be entrepreneurs. An expert in the art of pruno, shank construction, and paper dart blow guns, Jimmy briefly served as a leader in his dorm room before being released early for good behavior.

Reviews

[Peter Topside · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well, to no one’s surprise, this book was filled with dick jokes, tasteless sex, vulgarity, vampires, and a main character named Jonny Sausage (He had it legally changed). You can probably guess what his line of work is. I laughed more times than I probably should have, especially at the shout out that Jimmy Pudge gave himself. The writing is meant to be hysterical and offensive and found a great balance. But the book started out sort of all over the place without any direction. Once Jonny got his PI certificate, things began to become more focused and the story found purpose. There’s romance, redemption, horror elements, and some uniquely utilized themes that all made this fun experience work. Books like this are why authors like Jimmy Pudge will always have fans like Peter Topside.

[John Gibbons · Rating 4 out of 5]

I discovered this gem accidently on some recommendation on Goodreads based off of something I had read. I had seen the author in different writing groups, but sadly didnt pay attention. After reading some reviews I knew I had to read this. It was more than I expected. I like to write raunchy, stupid shit and there's not a lot of other people that do, or at least do it well. The one's who try, often fail. Most "humor" authors make promises to deliver lolz but end up drowning you in a bunch of shitty one-liners or jokes my Baptist grandmother would find hilarious. But I digress. Basically, I'd say Mr. Pudge is the Mark Twain of writing stupid raunchy shit just based off of this work. That's a compliment.

I really dug his voice, and his creativity. This is what I hope to find when needing a comedy fix. Most authors I have read just barely scratch that itch. This guy gets it and I hope his other work is just as hilarious and over the top. I really dug this book. It was short and laugh out loud funny. There were some typos, but it didn't distract me from the story. This is like a sleazier National Lampoon's movie in book form. BB gun. A damn BB gun. Lol.