Love Italian Style: The Secrets of My Hot and Happy Marriage

by Melissa Gorga

What you see is what you get with Melissa Gorga. On Real Housewives of New Jersey, viewers love her persona as a beautiful, ambitious woman who has a successful career but also puts family first. In fact, her stable yet sexy marriage to loveable Joe is a welcome antidote to the constant fighting and backbiting on the show. Despite the pressure of life in the spotlight, she makes marriage look easy. How does she do it? Melissa's overriding principle: treat your husband like a King. And in response, you'll be treated like a Queen.
 
In Love Italian Style, Melissa shares her (and his) secrets to relationship success—generations-tested old-fashioned advice served up with a sexy twist. To her, the four tenets to a happy marriage are: respect, honesty, loyalty, and passion (underscore passion). By sharing her and Joe's life together—from their first date to still keeping it hot in the bedroom eight years later, Melissa admits that yes, marriage has been a lot of work, but the rewards are ten-fold. And, with her time-tested strategies, couples can "Gorganize" their own relationships, strengthen their bond, and amp up the passion for life-long bliss.
 
Appealing to the millions of Real Housewife fans, this playful guidebook promises to make any marriage better—the Gorga way.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Audiobook, Biography Memoir, Pop Culture, Self Help, Biography

256 pages, Hardcover

First published September 17, 2013

Reviews

[Sarah · Rating 1 out of 5]

(This review is guided towards women in a relationship but I am fully aware that this also applies to MEN in the same circumstance. :) )


I am in Australia... so Melissa Gorga has about as much star power on me as a black hole. I am not reading this from a position of 'admire that celebrity so I'll read her book!' but rather as a genuine reader approaching this woman and her 'media voice' for the first time.




The issue I have with this kind of attitude that's been showing up in popular culture - that men are the ones who are supposed to take charge and demand what they want where as women are the ones who are to submit to them, care for them, groom for them, and that it's sexy to give into all demands made by the man regardless of the woman's needs- is that it is unhealthy.

Firstly- Of COURSE there are couples who work beautifully as a team in this kind of situation. Couples that have consented to a 'power play', so to speak, and that love the excitement these roles bring them. They like having specific roles with clear expectations (and it turns them on to take those roles outside the bedroom in other ways.) The difference is that these couples also respect one another's wants and needs. They don't abuse the game, force it, and know their partner's limits (and when to back off) during kinky times or during day to day life. Even with respect, prior consent to specific power plays, and the ability to back off, like any relationship these couples don't have it easy all the time... mistakes are made. Sometimes it brings out the wrong attitudes in the relationship in the end. Sometimes not.


But this is the 'exception and not the rule'. If you and your partner have this balance between power play and respect that is wonderful. Absolutely wonderful.

The danger is that this kind of attitude is setting up the idea that this treatment, such as is found in this book or in Fifty Shades of Grey, is natural and not at all dangerous. Most women won't be silly enough to believe it all, sure, but there's still some kind of conditioning in these kinds of books that normalizes that behavior. If a woman's friend started to describe her partner as Melissa Gorga has then it wouldn't be unreasonable for the woman to feel concerned that her friend is in an abusive relationship. You don't tell a victim of abuse to 'change their behavior, clothing, and ability to make the abuser happy'. It doesn't matter if it IS their husband.

You might think I'm overreacting... but consider some of these lines based off quotes from her book. Imagine it isn't her saying them but a friend who's talking to you about her husband.


"Joe wants to have sex every single day, at least once, if not twice or three times… If I don't give it to him once a day, he'll get upset."
In the beginning, Joe wanted to have sex every single day, at least once, if not twice or three times…If I didn't give it to him once a day, he'd get upset.

"I have to keep in shape, I have to be seductive, and try new things for Joe's pleasure... I have to always be available."
A woman needs to keep herself in shape. She has to be seductive. She must be willing to try new things for her husband's pleasure and her own. And, most important, she has to be available for sex.


"Sometimes I'm in the mood and it's passionate... sometimes I just let him do it, even though I'm not really into it, because he wants it."
There's real passionate sex and maintenance sex. You need them both for a healthy marriage. Maintenance sex keeps the wheels greased, the lines of communication open, and the fights to a minimum.


"If I snap at him or get angry- he gets really angry and hurls abuse at me. He broke the baby's highchair once and threw a chair across the restaurant."
If he gets one ounce of flack from me, he flips a switch and goes off. I know it's not really about me, so I don't get riled up. I supposed I could get angry back him for getting the bulk end of his problems. But then again, that's what a spouse is for. You get to release your stress on someone you trust, who you know won't hold it against you. He' like to yell at a colleague, client, or employee. But he yells at me and doesn't screw up a business deal. I can take it."


"I don't feel comfortable taking a poo whenever he's awake or able to tell I'm doing it. If I have to- I've got backup plans if I need to go and he's around."
Girls don't poop. Me, never have. Never will. It just doesn't happen. Or, that's what Joe thinks! We've been married for nine years, and he has never once seen or smelled my business. How have I pulled this off? I don't do it when he's around or awake. In an emergency, I have my ways of pooping so he won't hear, smell, or see. It's a challenge.

"I decided I'd dump my single friends because Joe doesn't like it. He thinks they're tempting me to cheat."
Listen, we all love to hang out with our single friends. Who's more fun? But, let's call a spade a spade. You can't make a habit of it when you are married. It's always better for your relationship to go out with people who have more in common with you. You are less likely to get yourself in trouble…Too many…"Girls' Nights" with the single ladies can only lead to temptation.

"I can't really talk to anyone except Joe when we're out at a bar or somewhere- he gets jealous and annoyed with me if I do."
Back in our early years, we'd go to the bar, and I'd make the rounds and talk to everyone. When we got home, Joe would say, "I feel like we didn't hang out. Like you talked to everyone else more." Now, you might think, "Why is he so needy?" He's not. Joe doesn't need me to hold his hand at a party. It's about respect and loyalty…We arrive together. We stay near each other. We leave together.



Those are just a few examples.

What bothers me about this is that these are ALL red flags for abuse. He's got the physical outbursts of violence (one being recorded in a public space!) when she upsets or gets angry with him, has sex with her whether she's ready or not, has her so anxious about him that she'll dress for his sexual pleasure and won't go to the bathroom unless he's not there to be witness to it, drops friends he doesn't like or trust (single friends who tempt her with single life), tells her who she can and can't talk to when they're out in public, has her ready and waiting at home for him when he comes home, and gets angry if the house isn't how he wants it when he gets home.

If a female - or even a male - friend talks about their relationship like this to you, would you tell them they have to try harder to please their spouse? Or would you suddenly be concerned that there might be something slightly abusive about this relationship?

Let me put it another way. If your friend openly admitted that he physically hits her or breaks her things when she talks back to him, calls her a whore if she hangs out with single friends, refuses to lift a finger to care for children he's the father of/guardian of, and makes her have sex with him even when she doesn't want to... would that worry you?

The issue is that with this kind of behavior being made out to be 'sexy' or 'normal', it's also popular in Fifty Shades of Grey, it might water down a person's attitude towards this behavior in relationships.

ONE of these red flags for physical, emotional or sexual abuse is more than enough to be concerned for a friend. If a person hears it and tells their friend 'Look, you've just got to try harder, dress sexier, try and be in the mood more often' it just accuses their friend of being the one at fault in the relationship. It is, for lack of a better description, victim blaming.

It puts their friend at serious risk for great harm in the future and even if all you can say is 'look, you need to talk to a counselor about this, because he's not behaving okay...' and get ignored ... At least try and say something. Friends look out for one another.

This is why I have an issue with this book.

It normalizes abusive behavior and traits as 'sexy and dominating'.

Maybe this works for her and her husband. Maybe they get off on it, work great as a team, and have the money to hire nannies and maids so her life isn't overwhelmed by the demands placed on her head.

But it isn't just about them. This is a relationship book guiding women to behave like her and accept that a relationship like this is 'normal'.

The sad thing is that the reason for Melissa Gorga's semi-delusional belief her world is 'perfect' is pretty clear and given in the book itself. She will bend over backwards for her husband's pleasure and comfort, do everything to make sure he has a happy life, and sacrifice her own natural wants and needs. She actually believes this is a healthy relationship and that everything is okay with this.

But why would any woman believe that?

It's because she found out her own father (as she herself wrote in the book) had been cheating on her mother for years and years.

Joe himself touches on the issue of a man cheating in this book (and how to prevent it.)

"Refusing to initiate is a Top Three reason men cheat. The ugliest girl in the world could come on to a man in that state of mind, and he might have to go for it. He thinks, At least someone wants me."

And Melissa adds:

"The way I see it, if a wife is a puttana (whore), her husband will never feel the urge to go outside the marriage to actual whores, or strip clubs. He won't hit on women in bars, or drool over his friend's girlfriends or the secretary. He'll rush home to his wife, who makes sure he'll have a good time (the best time) in the comfort of his own home."


She, whether she'll admit it to herself or not, is trying desperately to keep her husband faithful to her by behaving like this. By modeling and shaping herself, her personality, her career (or lack there of), her appearance, habits, toilet routine... all to please Joe.

Melissa Gorga is so afraid of becoming her mother, becoming the wife who's at home crying and heartbroken because she knows her husband is away with someone else, that she'll be an object.

I don't know Joe. Maybe he wouldn't require her to do any of that. Maybe he'd be faithful to her even if she was herself for a change. But I don't know if I can respect any kind of man that lets a woman change herself like this for him... who doesn't respect her genuine authentic self. Yeah. The self that poops and that doesn't look like a cover model 24/7.

What kind of message is she teaching her own sons and daughter?

It's not a message I want to learn from the book. And it's not something I ever want my daughter to have to feel she has to do.... not something I ever want my sons to expect from their partners in the future.

I'm going to finish this off by saying something not everyone might agree with.

Abusive men and women can be good people.

They aren't necessarily the kind of person who murders kittens, shouts at kids, and harasses .... baby penguins. They are good people, they do good things, they have great traits that we can love and respect. Be great artists, providers, business minds, loving family members, be vegan, footy player, protective, loyal, good looking, intelligent, and have a host of amazing traits that you love and respect in them. They might feel genuine regret when they 'get out of control briefly' and genuine sadness for any harm or hurt they've caused the person they physically, emotionally or sexually abused.

This does not excuse their behavior.

All those wonderful traits you love and respect in them? They don't mean squat as long as that person isn't owning up and addressing whatever it is that causes them to be abusive in the first place. And... as long as nobody holds them accountable for that behavior... they might spend the rest of their lives preferring the notion that they can 'pretend' or 'ignore' that side of them... that by ignoring it it might go away one day.

It isn't worth it. If your friend, male OR female is in a relationship like this, or if you are... find help. Talk to professionals about it.

And do NOT buy or read this book for relationship advice.

[Kat · Rating 4 out of 5]

People are taking this book too seriously! It's their marriage, their life. I do love how they look at each other and I love their chemistry on TV. This works for them and more power to them. She stated herself , her fans ask her what's her secret and so here it is. If you are looking for advice on your marriage see a marriage counselor. I loved reading her book, (didn't agree on some stuff) but it's HER marriage. It felt like I had the Gorgas with me and chatting up a storm. People need to relax and enjoy and not take things so literal....jeez...

[Belinda · Rating 1 out of 5]

Love Italian style: The Secrets of my Hot and Happy Marriage is not just a bad book – it’s a terrible book. It’s really, truly dreadful, but not in a car crash kind of way – in an awful “Should we call the police?" kind of way. Let me explain what I mean.

As I may have mentioned before, I love reading celebrity novels, memoirs, cookbooks – any longform literary printing. Slap a celebrity name on the cover somewhere and I am there, credit card ready. Love Italian style is from Real Housewives of New Jersey alum Melissa Gorga and fits the trash-read bill perfectly. For those unfamiliar with Bravo’s Real Housewives franchise, it’s a cable TV series that focus on wealthy women behaving badly. The most recent series I’ve seen centres on the ongoing drama between Teresa Guidice and her brother and his wife, Joe and Melissa Gorga. You see, Teresa, her husband “Juicy” Joe and her brother Joe used to be best friends but then Melissa came along and stole Joe away. There’s been tables flipped, punches thrown at christenings, the whole family-drama works. Teresa Guidice’s cookbook Skinny Italian was very successful (and, apart from the random chapter on makeup, surprisingly full of really good recipes. Everything I’ve made from it is delicious), so it was only a matter of time before Melissa released one of her own. This is that book.

When Melissa was young, her father was the most important man in her life. Girls were horrible to her because she was so gorgeous and good at things (something about varsity cheerleading? I don’t speak American high school). She even got beaten up for her suspected promiscuous ways (she wasn’t promiscuous! She was a virgin! A woman’s virginity is precious and a gift to her husband). But she always had her dad to rely on…until he was killed in a single-car crash and she and her mother found out he’d lost all of their money. Melissa’s college fund was gone and her mother needed to go to work to support them. Oh, and by the way he was a serial adulterer who would leave the family without notice for weeks at a time when he wanted to “run wild”. What a great man.

Melissa’s giant teenage ego aside, that’s actually a really sad story. Melissa’s family friend volunteered to pay for her tuition so she was able to go to college but she had to work three jobs to cover her rent and living expenses. That must have been hard for her, so good on her for her dedication to getting an education. Then, while waitressing in one of her three jobs, she met Joe. Five months later they were engaged and five months after that they were married. Then the problems started.

Firstly, Joe didn’t want his wife to work. He believes it’s a woman’s role to cook and clean for her husband (gender essentialism is a constant theme in this book). He works hard, he wants a hot wife to rush to the door when he arrives home before serving him a home-cooked meal just like the ones his mother cooked for him. So, despite how hard she worked to get a degree, despite what happened to her and her mother when her father died leaving them penniless, Melissa doesn’t work. Not a good start. Also, if you were hot when he married you and you stop being hot by getting fat or frumpy, don't be offended when your husband tells you so - he's not being a dick, he's helping you. It's because he loves you so very very much. I think I need a shower.

Then, Joe starts becoming a bit more prescriptive about what he wants his wife to do. He doesn’t like her to talk to people at parties. He doesn’t like her to see her single friends. In fact, he doesn't want her to socialise at all if he's not there. He wants her to wear a wedding ring (she’s his property) but doesn’t wear one himself. He doesn’t let her spend the night away from home without him – he doesn’t like her to spend time away from home at all. So Melissa doesn’t. He’s her king, she does what he says. The relationship as described is not only not healthy, it’s abusive – Joe is controlling, dominating and occasionally violent.

The more I read this book the more disturbed I was by what I was reading. Melissa lists the actions she takes to avoid her husband’s anger. She has sex with him every day, even if she doesn’t feel like it, because when he gets angry he throws chairs and not having sex makes him angry (he calls sex “getting the poison out”. Romantic, right?). Her relationship to marital sex and fidelity is horrific. If you have bad news to give your husband, have sex with him first and then he won’t mind as much. And if you don’t have sex with him, the consequences are dire. She says, “Refusing to initiate is a Top Three reason men cheat. The ugliest girl in the world could come on to a man in that state of mind, and he might have to go for it. He thinks, At least someone wants me.” (side note, these are direct quotes from the books. The random caps and italics are in the original.) Who even thinks this way, let alone puts those thoughts on paper and publishes them?

I made it to p64 and then I had to stop (although I admit I did flick through the rest because I felt bad writing a review for a book I’d only read a third of). I recognise that this book may not be an accurate picture of the Gorgas’ relationship. Maybe it’s the story the publisher thought would sell best. That this book got published at all is really disturbing. I hope if any of it is true, then Melissa’s friends and family get her the help she needs. And even if it’s not, people need to stop reading, buying and borrowing this book.

One final thing – how pissed off would you be if you were Melissa’s mum right now? You raised her, went back to work to support her once your deadbeat husband who lost all of your money and screwed around on you died, and he gets the book dedication?

[Ben · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book promotes marital rape.

[Tenise · Rating 1 out of 5]

Trigger Warning: Marital rape

I read this book because after hearing the premise I was curious. I honestly would have been better off resisting said curiosity.

First things first. YES this book DOES advocate marital rape. It is on page 223 in the hardback first edition, and Joe Gorga is the one who is advocating it. Everything in me as a safer sex educator, a woman, etc recoiled instantly when I read his words. Since Melissa Gorga didn't dispute them? I am going to assume that silence equals consent. That is is the norm in their household is frankly disgusting and demoralizing when you take into account the societal and legal acceptability of marital rape until the seventies.

I was also disturbed at the overall message of this book. No woman should have to feel that to maintain a marriage? That she has to put up with blatant marital disrespect, overly rigid gender roles, a controlling spouse, and feeling that she HAS to have sex to maintain the peace in her household even if she doesn't want to. I don't have a problem with the fact that Melissa is a SAHM, because I also had one for part of my childhood. But my mother refused to tolerate the level of disrespect that Melissa Gorga seems to justify as the norm. I feel sorry for the children who are growing up in this home.

[Ann · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book offers no noteworthy advice (not that I really expected any)...all I came away with is to be totally subservient to your man. I watch RHONJ and thought of Melissa as a fairly strong character....this book is totally on the contrary. She encourages being subservient, channeling everything you do to only please your man, allowing your man total dominance over you,allowing your man to control nearly all aspects of your life/marriage etc. While I acknowledge that this type of relationship works for some people, I found Ms. Gorga's advice to be nauseating. While I do agree that marriage requires effort on the part of both partners, and that some partners channel more of their energy around pleasing their spouse, some of her examples border on abuse (on the part of her husband). I

[Samantha Lafrance · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed it and I am so sad that people are giving it such bad reviews. She stayed multiple places that this is her marriage that works, this is how she does it. I read her opinion and I can agree on 90% if it; it is very similar to how I treat my hubby. But I do disagree on a few things. Her husband hired someone to change a lightbulb? But that's ok they have money I don't. Her man don't help with one single thing in the house? Forget it. I would call that lazy, but again that is her marriage she can choose her battles. I loved this book I might even read it again! I like her from the show and I like her from this book. I agree to treat your man like a king so he will treat you like a queen. My man doesn't like me to do housework when he is around either he wants to spend time with me. For a man who is home more often that might be not necessary but if you don't have that much time together, do what is necessary and leave the rest for later! Again I agreed with 90% maybe more from this book and I loved it! Maybe the people who didn't enjoy it don't have. As happy as satisfied and as passionate as a marriage. What works for you works for you but I want a passionate marriage forever. I don't want to get old boring and sick of my husband! If you don't like it and your marriage is fine then don't read a marriage book ;) Thank you Melissa!

[Angela Ocello monasseri · Rating 1 out of 5]

The bottom line is this girl isn't a likable person. Her timelines are all over the place which confuses you as a reader and her philosophy of marriage is so juvenile. Basically ,if you rock your husbands world in the bedroom and act like he is your dominator , be his servant then you'll have a perfect marriage like her! Sounds to me that this was a platform to talk about how women don't like her because they are all jealous and she adores her husband because he can keep buying her things. BTW the father she adores on the show.. Hate to disrespect the dead, but while living sounded like a creep!

[L_MOM · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is NOT the first reality star book I've read ... But by far the worst book I have ever read in my life! It's beyond stupid that these stupid reality stars are getting their books published. This one didn't even make sense because her writing was atrocious! I wouldn't normally write a review on these types a books but I'm doing others the favor by not spending the money and please don't waist your time!

[Jessica · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would like to start by saying that this book does NOT promote marital rape. There was no point where Melissa said that women MUST have sex even when they don't want to, on the contrary, she says numerous times that if a marriage is unsafe or abusive the marriage should end. However, she does acknowledge that sex is important in a healthy marriage. But this being said, I don't think that sex is just intercourse, sex is also the open communication of thoughts and feelings, cuddling and non-sexual touching, as well as spending time together. The point of this book, which is clearly stated not only in her introduction but though out the many chapters, is to tell the story of her marriage and what Melissa and Joe do for each other. This is book functions as sort of a biography of their marriage. Melissa even goes as far as to state that what she has written and what she and Joe do is not necessarily right for all couples. For instance, while Melissa does all the housework in her marriage, I may want to divide up the chores in mine, and that is okay. The point of the book is to tell Melissa's story and also offer inspiration for people to start thinking about their own marriages and relationships and what is truly important to them. What I took away from this book is that being a team and being each other's best friend is the most important thing. I learned that to make a relationship successful there has to be give on both ends, and that I shouldn't always try to be the controlling dictator of my relationship.

And as Melissa says, it helps to always remember that a man is a son until he takes a wife, but a daughter is a daughter for life. ;)

[Kristina Hoerner · Rating 2 out of 5]

Why do I read these books by reality stars? They are all horrible. I don't know why they think popularity on TV means they need to share their opinions on life with everyone else. Of course, I read their book so I'm no better. In this book, Housewives of New Jersey star Melissa Gorga tells us all how to have a hot marriage. She does have some good points about not keeping score and always asking what have you done for me lately. The biggest thing revealed in the book is her old fashioned attitudes about marriage. I will, however, give her points for being the only one of these ladies that did not use a co-author. Give this one a pass.

[Muneca71]

My 9 month old niece can write a better "book" than Melissa Gorga. I didn't read past the first chapter. I could not get through it. And she compares herself to Teresa?? LOL!!! Funny. I wish her success, but this is just awfully awful!!!!!

[Lynn · Rating 1 out of 5]

Full of lies and hate. You should probably be married longer then 10 years to give solid advice. Refund? I want my time back.

[Laurie Buchanan · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was a fun quick read.

[Heather · Rating 3 out of 5]

Treat it like a fluffy reality star memoir and it will actually be painless to read.

If you seriously take this as the marriage bible? LOL SHAME ON YOU.

[Jess · Rating 2 out of 5]

Woof! TMI and I’m glad I didn’t marry an Italian. And authors really should narrate their own memoirs!

[KC Chapa · Rating 2 out of 5]

I know this sounds mean but I actually just rented this book and listened to it so I could have a laugh as I drove home from work. Some parts WERE laughably ridiculous (having her husband cut in to read “his”sections, the advice not to lift weights heavier than 10 pounds or you’ll get bulky, “Joe’s” advice to husbands to rip their wives clothes off even if their wives don’t feel like having sex and some other things). Just. Wow. But, I will also admit that there were parts I could understand (her willingness to treat her husband like a king because of what she witnessed in her parent’s marriage) and I enjoyed getting her background since all we see on RHONJ is one side. Plus, I like the makeup tips LOL. Other than that, not as bad as I expected.

[Sam Santos · Rating 1 out of 5]

May a life like this never find me - read while I binge RHONJ

[Amanda · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was a hate read but omg the toxicity in this book. This woman should not be giving marriage advice. I can’t believe they put these thoughts into writing. Wtf

[Lynne M · Rating 2 out of 5]

Nothing really new to learn here. There isn't much "advice" here, and Melissa seems like an extremely insecure woman.

[April Lee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Full disclosure: I don't watch Real Housewives so this is basically my full exposure to her.

As has been well documented by many critics, her book is full of sexism and even promotes marital rape. (Http://worldagainstrape.org).. The criticisms are obvious. It doesn't take much. But I found myself surprisingly liking it, aside from the "whoa, oh no" parts. It's clear he is controlling and she is... Has accepted it. But I think it's hard not to like her. She's so sweet and makes everything so positive (aside from a bit of slut shaming, which I was surprised about, she didn't put other people down). She has a contagious enthusiasm and no matter the ugly and disturbing bits... I appreciate that.

Though I think she's taken her own advice too far, I think it's good to remember to put your ego down. Tht, before you stry complaining about someone else, why don't you "clean up your side of the street?" Those are basic things I think are good reminders and there was a lot more .. She does say her advice an the things she does in her marriage won't work for everyone .. And what I also respect is that she doesn't put other women down for not looking like her.

I just felt something nice, that's real, should be said about the book. Because really.. There was a lot f good stuff about it. It was easier to swallow and not groan as opposed to reading "The Rules." How can you not like a sweet person?

But the reasons behind her thoughts are draped in sexism, double standards and.. *sigh* just... Not good stuff. Anyway, check ou more at worldagainstrape.org

[AshleyiSee · Rating 2 out of 5]

I feel compelled to give this book my honest opinion, and yes I did read all of it!

I don't think it;s fair for people to write negative things when they haven't read the book, only other people's reviews of the 'disappointing' points of view.

So here are my thoughts:

1. I feel so bad that Gorga's editor obviously was not allowed to their job. I found the content of the book constantly repeating with the same phrases, and that as I further progressed, I wasn't learning or reading anything new.

2. Gorga doesn't site her sources. It really bothered me. If you're going to state a fact, then have the evidence to back it up. She referenced studies and articles she'd read but I wanted to see the proof, where's the validation?

3. I found Joe's passages more offensive than Melissa's. I do feel Melissa was writing from the heart but I don't think what she wanted to accomplish with this book came across well.

4. There were a few inconsistencies, and I felt that I couldn't really believe Gorga towards the end of the book.

However, through it all, the Gorga's have a lovely, loving, and well mannered family. Their marriage seems to work great for them and that is a wonderful thing. I don't think a lot of what works for them will work for other people. It's a quick easy read, but I didn't gain anything from it. I know she meant well, but the clunkiness got in the way.

[Trish · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not worth your time. The only positive thing that I took from it is to keep my marriage a priority. Do the things as a married couple, you would do when you were dating. Other than that, it was an opportunity for her to toot her own horn. I also got the sense that she is very insecure in her marriage. She's fearful of not doing the right thing, at the right moment. She's walking on eggshells around her husband. Do all the right things to keep him from losing his temper. I sensed a lot of fear in her marriage. In a way I feel bad for her but on the other hand I sensed that she was motivated by money. She's ok with this kind of life as long as Joe provides her with the lifestyle that she always wanted.

[Nadia · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm currently going through a phase where I like reading complete nonsense books I can read in one sitting as a way to procrastinate/ get out of doing something else. I read this book to get out of grading papers.

This book was awful. She takes a nice concept--respect and loyalty in marriage and then turns it into a book about how her husband expects things to be a certain way and how she's learned to get over herself so things are the way he likes them. While there are times to check your ego and compromise I don't think there's one example in the book of her husband compromising.

[Jessyka · Rating 2 out of 5]

So far this book is annoying me. I decided to give it a chance 'cause I see her marriage on RHONJ and I want to one day have a happy loving marriage. Since I am currently separated from an Italian I decided to read it. So far it has been her gushing about her life. Then goes into her hair/makeup routine. As I glanced thru I saw a lot of stuff normal people can't have/do as their income doesn't allow it. It seems doing everything just to please your husband is what she thinks is right. I'd rather be alone & myself than someone I'm not.

Don't think I'll be finishing it.

[Bobbi Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I first started reading this book, I have to admit that some of the things written made my jaw drop. I could hear myself saying “I’m not that type of woman” and “My husband is not a king”. However, as I continued to read, I realized that Melissa is right on point with her words. Marriage is hard work, period. What Melissa and Joe have is amazing and the “blueprint” she provides in this book is equally amazing. It’s okay to be a strong, independent woman as long as you never let your man forget that he’s just as important as you. A stunning read!

[Amanda Hannon · Rating 2 out of 5]

After reading this book I gave myself a new reason to dislike Melissa. Her marriage is disturbing, after reading this I'd never want to marry an Italian guy. Bow down to my man? Yeah okay! Things should be equal in a marriage. But hey whatever works for her. Just don't make it see like we all have to do it. What got me is Joe wouldn't even clean up spilled milk. Sorry giving this a lo rating.

[Sallee · Rating 2 out of 5]

I picked up this book at my library's new releases shelf because I had heard about it on the Real Housewives of New Jersey TV show. Yes, I will admit it...I am a fan of all of them. While I don't make a point of turning them on on purpose, if I see them, I will watch. It I was surprised to see that there was some very good advice in the book. It was a quick read and I was I was curious.

[Molly · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this and thought that it was a fun read. Regardless of what you may or may not know about Melissa Gorga, I enjoyed reading how one real life woman met her husband and maintains her marriage. The book was divided up nicely. I would recommend this book for young, married women. I would consider reading another book by Melissa Gorga.

[Terry · Rating 2 out of 5]

Most audio books, once started get finished while working out or driving. In this case, I had to quit before it was over. The author may be a reality TV star and with a vivacious personality, but the book was slow, uninspiring and self-indulgent. I couldn't complete it. There are far too many other books to read.