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At the Bottom of Everything
A stunning novel of friendship, guilt, and madness: two friends, torn apart by a terrible secret, and the dark adventure that neither of them ever meant to embark upon.
It's been ten years since the "incident," and Adam has long decided he's better off without his former best friend, Thomas. Adam is working as a tutor, sleeping with the mother of a student, spending lonely nights looking up his ex-girlfriend on Facebook, and pretending that he has some more meaningful plan for an adult life. But when he receives an email from Thomas's mother begging for his help, he finds himself drawn back into his old friend's world, and to the past he's tried so desperately to forget. As Adam embarks upon a magnificently strange and unlikely journey, Ben Dolnick unspools a tale of spiritual reckoning, of search and escape, of longing and reaching for redemption-a tale of near hallucinatory power.
It's been ten years since the "incident," and Adam has long decided he's better off without his former best friend, Thomas. Adam is working as a tutor, sleeping with the mother of a student, spending lonely nights looking up his ex-girlfriend on Facebook, and pretending that he has some more meaningful plan for an adult life. But when he receives an email from Thomas's mother begging for his help, he finds himself drawn back into his old friend's world, and to the past he's tried so desperately to forget. As Adam embarks upon a magnificently strange and unlikely journey, Ben Dolnick unspools a tale of spiritual reckoning, of search and escape, of longing and reaching for redemption-a tale of near hallucinatory power.
256 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2013
34 people are currently reading
2395 people want to read
About the author
Ben Dolnick
9 books64 followersBen Dolnick is the author of four novels: Zoology, You Know Who You Are, At the Bottom of Everything, and The Ghost Notebooks. His writing has appeared in the New York Times, GQ, and on NPR. He lives in Brooklyn, NY.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 162 reviews
February 2, 2014
Adam and Thomas were best friends, although quite different. Thomas was small, skinny, nerdish, super-smart, but with poor social skills that kept him from having girlfriends and joining cliques or groups. Thomas had his jock persona that allowed him to move easily within groups in school. But, somehow, they ended up being inseparable, until a harrowing incident happened, which had started out as a prank but ended tragically. Subsequently, their friendship ended.
Ten years later, Adam runs into Thomas’s mother, who begs him to find Thomas, who has become mentally unhinged, and is traveling somewhere in India. Adam is leading a banal life as a tutor and spending lots of time alone, especially after his girlfriend Claire broke up with him for not being genuinely forthcoming. It is obvious that this seminal event from a decade ago is affecting Adam and Thomas. Eventually, Adam agrees to attempt to find Thomas.
I enjoyed this book, for the most part. The characters of Thomas and Adam were drawn with sympathy and complexity, although, as coming-of-age novels go, they felt like familiar retreads from other novels. Much of the middle section feels stagnant, saved by the witty prose, but the action of the characters and their feelings portrays more of the same. Additionally, the scenes in India, and the looking-glass into India’s description, seemed typical of the American view of India. The transformation of Thomas felt somewhat clichéd.
I was beginning to get bored during the India section, but what resonated with me were the last two pages, an email from Thomas to Adam that jolted the story out of its comfort zone and impressed me with its evocative connotation and haunting significance, shed of sentimentality. I still think about those last few lines, which makes the whole book worth reading.
Ten years later, Adam runs into Thomas’s mother, who begs him to find Thomas, who has become mentally unhinged, and is traveling somewhere in India. Adam is leading a banal life as a tutor and spending lots of time alone, especially after his girlfriend Claire broke up with him for not being genuinely forthcoming. It is obvious that this seminal event from a decade ago is affecting Adam and Thomas. Eventually, Adam agrees to attempt to find Thomas.
I enjoyed this book, for the most part. The characters of Thomas and Adam were drawn with sympathy and complexity, although, as coming-of-age novels go, they felt like familiar retreads from other novels. Much of the middle section feels stagnant, saved by the witty prose, but the action of the characters and their feelings portrays more of the same. Additionally, the scenes in India, and the looking-glass into India’s description, seemed typical of the American view of India. The transformation of Thomas felt somewhat clichéd.
I was beginning to get bored during the India section, but what resonated with me were the last two pages, an email from Thomas to Adam that jolted the story out of its comfort zone and impressed me with its evocative connotation and haunting significance, shed of sentimentality. I still think about those last few lines, which makes the whole book worth reading.
December 18, 2013
I wasn't sure how to rate this one; I enjoyed the narrator's voice and thought it well-written, but at the end I was all 'wtf?' and that always unsettles me. The story of two outcasts pairing up as boys is not a new one, and the story of their growing apart is not a new one; the addition of the - won't spoil it, but there are allusions to it early on - tragedy they share is also...not really all that new. The direction taken by the narrator's friend is all over the map though, and as the end came close I kind of lost touch with what was happening. As if the book and I were Jack and Rose. I guess I'd have to be Jack, if you see the book as the one floating and moving on with its life. That's stupid. Let the book sink.
So in the end, I say, "hey! Entertaining!" but "I didn't get the ending". Mr. Dolnick, don't despair. I am willing to give you more chances in the future. Well, one, anyway. I see something in you that I like.
May 14, 2015
Ben Dolnick is a metaphor savant. His facility in this arena is awe-inspiring. He should set up a stand on the highway and sell everything that comes after the words "is like." He'd make a fortune. Case in point (and only one of dozens available in this novel):
"I'd known, of course, at some depth of my brain, that my trip would cover the anniversary of the accident, but the date had always been like a dead key on a piano; I did my best to play around it, or to speed on as if it didn't exist. But now the dead key, the hollow tapping, was all I could hear."
They're all like this. I think only one went south on him, somewhere near the end. And that kind of consistent agility is admirable, enviable even, and can tease a reader through a rough patch in an otherwise solid story. Unfortunately, there was more than a rough patch here.
Dolnick introduces us to Adam Sanecki, a virtual trope of the twenty-first century post-postmodern main character - which is to say your basic putz. Oh, he'll admit this himself, and even provide you with the obligatory dollop of cognizant chagrin. As if there's nothing he can do about it. More than this, as if it's important to show you there's nothing he can do about it. (Which inevitably becomes the mission of so many of these anti-protagonists.) And show us he does.
As he makes the case for his character's damage, the author shifts from Adam's adult non-life of poor choices and feeble rationalizations to his childhood years and the friendship he developed with a lonely, odd little boy named Thomas. A night of hijinks went awry in the way-back-when that broke the friendship off. Thomas, though, did not mature into putzdom. He went off the boards, and Adam is soon drafted to respond as an absolutely last resort.
While promising in concept, Dolnick fails to clear the hurdle he must in unifying the split-apart aspects of the psyche he presents. There is a single-voicedness here, a solipsistic prison he approaches only to back away and hide among tricks with E-mail and Indian spiritual tracts. To be fair, his was an ambitious undertaking. I hope he's got the stones to try again.
"I'd known, of course, at some depth of my brain, that my trip would cover the anniversary of the accident, but the date had always been like a dead key on a piano; I did my best to play around it, or to speed on as if it didn't exist. But now the dead key, the hollow tapping, was all I could hear."
They're all like this. I think only one went south on him, somewhere near the end. And that kind of consistent agility is admirable, enviable even, and can tease a reader through a rough patch in an otherwise solid story. Unfortunately, there was more than a rough patch here.
Dolnick introduces us to Adam Sanecki, a virtual trope of the twenty-first century post-postmodern main character - which is to say your basic putz. Oh, he'll admit this himself, and even provide you with the obligatory dollop of cognizant chagrin. As if there's nothing he can do about it. More than this, as if it's important to show you there's nothing he can do about it. (Which inevitably becomes the mission of so many of these anti-protagonists.) And show us he does.
As he makes the case for his character's damage, the author shifts from Adam's adult non-life of poor choices and feeble rationalizations to his childhood years and the friendship he developed with a lonely, odd little boy named Thomas. A night of hijinks went awry in the way-back-when that broke the friendship off. Thomas, though, did not mature into putzdom. He went off the boards, and Adam is soon drafted to respond as an absolutely last resort.
While promising in concept, Dolnick fails to clear the hurdle he must in unifying the split-apart aspects of the psyche he presents. There is a single-voicedness here, a solipsistic prison he approaches only to back away and hide among tricks with E-mail and Indian spiritual tracts. To be fair, his was an ambitious undertaking. I hope he's got the stones to try again.
September 30, 2013
This novel is just chock full of all my favorite literary subjects: pain, guilt, truth, redemption. The hook is that Adam and Thomas, who had been best friends in school, are changed by an event. This event causes Adam to retreat from Thomas for ten years, until he is pulled back into Thomas's life by a plea from his parents. Please help our son.
I didn't know where the story of Adam and Thomas was going to take me, but the journey was riveting. At the Bottom of Everything is a short novel, but it crosses many an emotional landscape. If you wonder how people can live with a terrible knowledge and what that knowledge does to their everyday life; and at what cost come redemption (if it's even possible) then give Ben Dolnick's novel a try.
I didn't know where the story of Adam and Thomas was going to take me, but the journey was riveting. At the Bottom of Everything is a short novel, but it crosses many an emotional landscape. If you wonder how people can live with a terrible knowledge and what that knowledge does to their everyday life; and at what cost come redemption (if it's even possible) then give Ben Dolnick's novel a try.
January 1, 2014
Without much of a plot, this book depends on your liking two guys who share a certain history (accident they are secretly complicit in causing) and being willing to spend 200 pages suffering with them. Alas, I was not.
It all got a bit claustrophobic and self-obsessive to the point of navel gazing. The protagonist sets off to find his soul brother who crashes in Delhi to try to absolve his feelings of guilt. The reader tries to care. Tries. In so doing, the reader negotiates a lot of e-mail texts and parenthetical sentences and paragraphs.
When something like parentheses begin to grate, you know you're no longer in Delhi, you're in Trouble....
It all got a bit claustrophobic and self-obsessive to the point of navel gazing. The protagonist sets off to find his soul brother who crashes in Delhi to try to absolve his feelings of guilt. The reader tries to care. Tries. In so doing, the reader negotiates a lot of e-mail texts and parenthetical sentences and paragraphs.
When something like parentheses begin to grate, you know you're no longer in Delhi, you're in Trouble....
April 27, 2014
Maybe it's only because I haven't left the house since a library run on Monday night, but I am having a terrible time articulating why I liked this book. I mean, I'm pretty sure I liked it. When I'm not enthralled with what I'm reading, I tend to find my life suddenly super-busy, with many interesting television shows to watch and decoupage crafts to make. If a book is really bad, that's when you'll find me wet-mopping floors and cleaning the bathroom. I hate giving up on a book, to the point that I will do chores to avoid having that awkward imagined conversation with an author in which I try to break the news as gently as possible that we're going to have to put this one down.
I didn't have to use any of those avoidance tactics with this book. I believe the ring in the bathtub and spit-propelled toothpaste spots on the mirror speak for themselves. Still, I haven't successfully identified the exact cause of my enjoyment. There are a fair number of lukewarm-to-scathing reviews on Goodreads, and I found myself nodding at the complaints being voiced. The ending was unsatisfying (yep). The narrator is a navel-gazer (yep). There's not much actual plot (yep). So why, if I agreed with all the criticism, was I still debating between a 3- and 4-star rating?
Do I like bad books? Am I a book recommender with bad taste? Should I focus my efforts on home décor, maybe learn to braid rugs?
Maybe the light reflecting off the piles of snow outside has addled my brain. Anything is possible. Here's what I've come up with, though: I really liked Ben Dolnick's voice. I liked his enthusiastic flinging-about of odd metaphors, even as I recognized that he was overdoing it. I liked seeing elements of my own childhood in the interactions between Adam, the narrator, and his strange, hapless friend Thomas. Reading about the two boys playing video games and making up code words for things made for some fun reminiscing. (Not that my friends and I were ever dorky enough to give our crushes glaringly obvious nicknames and use them in said crushes' presence.) Adam and Thomas seemed familiar to me, like they could have been boys I remember from elementary school. It felt like I was reading a book about someone I already knew well.
I understand, of course, that not everyone will have the same connection I did. However, you might still find yourself interested in the setup: Adam and Thomas, once close childhood friends, have grown apart over the years. The wedge between them is a single tragic moment that Adam has spent years avoiding and Thomas has spent years agonizing over. In their mid-twenties, Thomas's mother contacts Adam to ask if he will help track Thomas down in India, where he has gone to try to atone for what happened when they were kids. Adam's life isn't going too swimmingly at the moment either, so he agrees to go, leading to a long-awaited meeting and an opportunity for both to wrestle with their consciences.
Ultimately, I'll admit there are a few problems with Dolnick's book, but I still enjoyed the hell out of it, and perhaps you will too.
More book recommendations by me at www.readingwithhippos.com
I didn't have to use any of those avoidance tactics with this book. I believe the ring in the bathtub and spit-propelled toothpaste spots on the mirror speak for themselves. Still, I haven't successfully identified the exact cause of my enjoyment. There are a fair number of lukewarm-to-scathing reviews on Goodreads, and I found myself nodding at the complaints being voiced. The ending was unsatisfying (yep). The narrator is a navel-gazer (yep). There's not much actual plot (yep). So why, if I agreed with all the criticism, was I still debating between a 3- and 4-star rating?
Do I like bad books? Am I a book recommender with bad taste? Should I focus my efforts on home décor, maybe learn to braid rugs?
Maybe the light reflecting off the piles of snow outside has addled my brain. Anything is possible. Here's what I've come up with, though: I really liked Ben Dolnick's voice. I liked his enthusiastic flinging-about of odd metaphors, even as I recognized that he was overdoing it. I liked seeing elements of my own childhood in the interactions between Adam, the narrator, and his strange, hapless friend Thomas. Reading about the two boys playing video games and making up code words for things made for some fun reminiscing. (Not that my friends and I were ever dorky enough to give our crushes glaringly obvious nicknames and use them in said crushes' presence.) Adam and Thomas seemed familiar to me, like they could have been boys I remember from elementary school. It felt like I was reading a book about someone I already knew well.
I understand, of course, that not everyone will have the same connection I did. However, you might still find yourself interested in the setup: Adam and Thomas, once close childhood friends, have grown apart over the years. The wedge between them is a single tragic moment that Adam has spent years avoiding and Thomas has spent years agonizing over. In their mid-twenties, Thomas's mother contacts Adam to ask if he will help track Thomas down in India, where he has gone to try to atone for what happened when they were kids. Adam's life isn't going too swimmingly at the moment either, so he agrees to go, leading to a long-awaited meeting and an opportunity for both to wrestle with their consciences.
Ultimately, I'll admit there are a few problems with Dolnick's book, but I still enjoyed the hell out of it, and perhaps you will too.
More book recommendations by me at www.readingwithhippos.com
November 20, 2018
it was confusing but good
November 25, 2020
2.5*
Drawn to this book because of the cover, happy to see Chris Patton was the narrator and intrigued by the description I'm at a complete loss.
The story was weird, confusing, incoherent at times, flighty, depressing, sad, vague... But I guess that is what mental problems are: a big mess to sort and find a way through
Drawn to this book because of the cover, happy to see Chris Patton was the narrator and intrigued by the description I'm at a complete loss.
The story was weird, confusing, incoherent at times, flighty, depressing, sad, vague... But I guess that is what mental problems are: a big mess to sort and find a way through
November 10, 2020
Coming of age, plot light fiction where characters slowly realize how to express their desires
I preferred Dolnick's first book The Ghost Notebooks, but that is due to style.
The first had a more direct plot, and the supernatural element really pushed it forward.
This tale is trying to be different.
There is no haunted house, just two friends drifting apart, and one event that really changed them.
It's Literary Fiction, so if you want ghosts, maybe wait for another tale.
If you want a coming of age tale and Dolnick's observations on the human condition, this is the place for you.
Regardless, great tale!
I preferred Dolnick's first book The Ghost Notebooks, but that is due to style.
The first had a more direct plot, and the supernatural element really pushed it forward.
This tale is trying to be different.
There is no haunted house, just two friends drifting apart, and one event that really changed them.
It's Literary Fiction, so if you want ghosts, maybe wait for another tale.
If you want a coming of age tale and Dolnick's observations on the human condition, this is the place for you.
Regardless, great tale!
March 1, 2016
I feel bad about giving this novel just two stars. I do think that if Mr. Dolnick had been a bit more focused with certain events and had laid the novel out differently that it would have worked better.
This novel is about two friends, Adam and Thomas. Adam is the main protagonist of this novel. We find out that he lives in Washington D.C. and has never really been himself since an incident that involved him and his former best friend, Thomas.
It takes a while for the incident to become known to the reader. When it does, it is shocking and you can see how that one event would shape Adam and Thomas differently.
If the novel had focused on that; this would have been a fantastic story. However, we also deal with Adam and his lack of ability to move on from a former romantic relationship, becoming obsessed with someone, and his refusal to have anything to do with Thomas or his family.
We have the novel discussing Adam's past and present and at times I found myself wishing that we could just focus on one thing at a time since I was getting whiplash from the constant back and forth.
When we move to Adam trying in his view "save Thomas" and all of the events that occurred because of that I completely gave up.
I also mentioned that the layout of the novel did not help matters any and it did not. Due to the novel being told also through emails that are sent to Adam from Thomas's parents and then from Adam to Thomas and others you have no idea in the timeline when things are occurring.
The ending of the novel occurred with a whimper. I think it was meant to make readers think, but all I felt was gratitude that I was finished with the novel.
Please note that I received this novel via The Amazon Vine Program.
This novel is about two friends, Adam and Thomas. Adam is the main protagonist of this novel. We find out that he lives in Washington D.C. and has never really been himself since an incident that involved him and his former best friend, Thomas.
It takes a while for the incident to become known to the reader. When it does, it is shocking and you can see how that one event would shape Adam and Thomas differently.
If the novel had focused on that; this would have been a fantastic story. However, we also deal with Adam and his lack of ability to move on from a former romantic relationship, becoming obsessed with someone, and his refusal to have anything to do with Thomas or his family.
We have the novel discussing Adam's past and present and at times I found myself wishing that we could just focus on one thing at a time since I was getting whiplash from the constant back and forth.
When we move to Adam trying in his view "save Thomas" and all of the events that occurred because of that I completely gave up.
I also mentioned that the layout of the novel did not help matters any and it did not. Due to the novel being told also through emails that are sent to Adam from Thomas's parents and then from Adam to Thomas and others you have no idea in the timeline when things are occurring.
The ending of the novel occurred with a whimper. I think it was meant to make readers think, but all I felt was gratitude that I was finished with the novel.
Please note that I received this novel via The Amazon Vine Program.
July 4, 2016
The pacing of the story was quite slow and the plot towards the end seemed unrealistic at times, but unfolded in a way that made it seem within the realm of possibility and so kept me reading. I didn't feel that the characters were entirely distinct (Adam and Richard seemed confusingly similar to me in terms of personality and thinking style, especially in emails). The ending was also kind of lackluster.
What impressed me the most though, and why this book earned four stars from me is the absolutely phenomenal descriptions in the book. The way the author describes certain places, feelings, moods, smells - so spot-on. The kind of descriptions that just envelop you. The writing really brought me into the story and was a pleasure to read!
I enjoyed this book as a whole and will be checking out some of the author's other works.
What impressed me the most though, and why this book earned four stars from me is the absolutely phenomenal descriptions in the book. The way the author describes certain places, feelings, moods, smells - so spot-on. The kind of descriptions that just envelop you. The writing really brought me into the story and was a pleasure to read!
I enjoyed this book as a whole and will be checking out some of the author's other works.
December 25, 2022
Wow, I didn’t expect much of this book that I’ve never heard of and just popped up on my ereader recommendations, but it was actually so good??
January 17, 2022
Thomas and Adam were best friends who spent as much time together as possible until a prank goes horribly wrong. The two friends deal with it in different ways and end up going their separate ways but because of what happened, they can never really distance themselves from each other and they become entangled once again.
I was really drawn to this book and the relationship between the two friends at the beginning of AT THE BOTTOM OF EVERYTHING but, about halfway through, things kind of fell apart for me. I stuck with it, hoping things would get back on track, but they never really did for me. In the end, I’m not really sure what the point of the book was - it’s possible it was all over my head.
I was really drawn to this book and the relationship between the two friends at the beginning of AT THE BOTTOM OF EVERYTHING but, about halfway through, things kind of fell apart for me. I stuck with it, hoping things would get back on track, but they never really did for me. In the end, I’m not really sure what the point of the book was - it’s possible it was all over my head.
July 15, 2019
Am currently on a quest to read everything Dolnick. His way with words, his way of conveying feelings of fear & grief are stunning.
July 21, 2020
Not what I was expecting, but in an entertaining way.
June 7, 2022
DNf'd it
The story telling could only be comparable with how bad the characters descriptions are. I could not bring myself to finish this book and I never wanted to read it after reading the first couple of pages, I really tried to give it a chance but 30 pages in a nothing has catch my interested or sound remotely interesting, am not wasting any more time trying to get through this.
The story telling could only be comparable with how bad the characters descriptions are. I could not bring myself to finish this book and I never wanted to read it after reading the first couple of pages, I really tried to give it a chance but 30 pages in a nothing has catch my interested or sound remotely interesting, am not wasting any more time trying to get through this.
September 18, 2013
Adam and Thomas were best friends when they were growing up in Washington, DC. Thomas was one of the brightest kids in their prep school—quirky, unique, aloof—and Adam welcomed the opportunity to try and crack his shell. Plus, Adam envied Thomas' stable home life, a mother committed to social justice and a father who values his intelligence.
Their friendship was fairly intense until high school, when Adam began focusing on sports, girls, and parties, and Thomas continued down his own path. Yet partly out of obligation and partly out of nostalgia, the boys still got together briefly, and their encounters became focused more on mischief and pranks. One night, one of their schemes goes dangerously out of control, and the aftereffects cause their friendship to end. And while Adam can move beyond the incident, it affects Thomas far more intensely.
Fast forward 10 years, and Adam's life isn't quite going in the direction he had hoped. Lonely and depressed after his breakup with his girlfriend, bored in his job as an academic tutor, he begins a brief affair with one of his students' mothers which, as you might imagine, doesn't end well. He is unsure what to do with his life or what to make of himself. A chance encounter with Thomas' mother brings his former friendship back into his mind, especially as she asks for Adam's help to try and find Thomas, who has apparently disappeared to India.
"'What I really want to make sure you know is just that your old friend, skinny Thomas Pell, is drowning. We all are, and we're reaching out to you for help.'"
But Adam thinks, "'Your old friend is drowning.' Well, so was I."
With nothing to keep him in the U.S., Adam embarks on a journey to find and rescue his old friend, and follows his trail to India. But when he discovers why Thomas has made the journey, and how he has changed in 10 years, Adam realizes that bringing Thomas home is just the tip of the iceberg. And along the way, Adam confronts some of his own mental and emotional issues, and he realizes he is as much in need of rescue as Thomas may be.
How far would you go for an old friend? How much do the events of our childhood affect us later in life? Ben Dolnick's At the Bottom of Everything is a book about finding yourself in the midst of trying to help someone else, and how much our lives can turn on just one single incident.
I really enjoyed the beginning of this book as Adam reflected on both his current situation and reminisced about his friendship with Thomas, but I felt as if once he went to India, the book lost its focus. A great deal of time was spent on spiritual issues, as Thomas had sought the guidance of a guru in India, but it almost seemed like a wholly separate story than what the book initially was about. I thought Thomas in particular was a fascinating and heartbreaking character, and the way Dolnick illustrated Thomas' mental state, and how it affected both of his parents, was tremendously well done.
What I've liked about Dolnick's earlier books is his ability to capture everyday situations and "regular" people, and make you care about them. He does that in At the Bottom of Everything, although the book loses its way just as its narrator is trying to find his.
Their friendship was fairly intense until high school, when Adam began focusing on sports, girls, and parties, and Thomas continued down his own path. Yet partly out of obligation and partly out of nostalgia, the boys still got together briefly, and their encounters became focused more on mischief and pranks. One night, one of their schemes goes dangerously out of control, and the aftereffects cause their friendship to end. And while Adam can move beyond the incident, it affects Thomas far more intensely.
Fast forward 10 years, and Adam's life isn't quite going in the direction he had hoped. Lonely and depressed after his breakup with his girlfriend, bored in his job as an academic tutor, he begins a brief affair with one of his students' mothers which, as you might imagine, doesn't end well. He is unsure what to do with his life or what to make of himself. A chance encounter with Thomas' mother brings his former friendship back into his mind, especially as she asks for Adam's help to try and find Thomas, who has apparently disappeared to India.
"'What I really want to make sure you know is just that your old friend, skinny Thomas Pell, is drowning. We all are, and we're reaching out to you for help.'"
But Adam thinks, "'Your old friend is drowning.' Well, so was I."
With nothing to keep him in the U.S., Adam embarks on a journey to find and rescue his old friend, and follows his trail to India. But when he discovers why Thomas has made the journey, and how he has changed in 10 years, Adam realizes that bringing Thomas home is just the tip of the iceberg. And along the way, Adam confronts some of his own mental and emotional issues, and he realizes he is as much in need of rescue as Thomas may be.
How far would you go for an old friend? How much do the events of our childhood affect us later in life? Ben Dolnick's At the Bottom of Everything is a book about finding yourself in the midst of trying to help someone else, and how much our lives can turn on just one single incident.
I really enjoyed the beginning of this book as Adam reflected on both his current situation and reminisced about his friendship with Thomas, but I felt as if once he went to India, the book lost its focus. A great deal of time was spent on spiritual issues, as Thomas had sought the guidance of a guru in India, but it almost seemed like a wholly separate story than what the book initially was about. I thought Thomas in particular was a fascinating and heartbreaking character, and the way Dolnick illustrated Thomas' mental state, and how it affected both of his parents, was tremendously well done.
What I've liked about Dolnick's earlier books is his ability to capture everyday situations and "regular" people, and make you care about them. He does that in At the Bottom of Everything, although the book loses its way just as its narrator is trying to find his.
July 12, 2013
Just about all teens are engaged in some sort of hijinks and most make it through their teenage years just fine. But what if a mischievous teenage stunt went horribly wrong? From that point on, everything else would simply be epilogue.
That is the basis of Ben Dolnick’s new book and he has the chops to deliver a well-crafted storyline to the reader. The “action” focuses on the narrator, Adam – a decent kind of kid, nice-looking, popular. He befriends the smartest kid in the school, Thomas, who despite his social awkwardness has an appealing rebellious side. The two of them become inseparable.
To reveal much more about the plot would be entering spoiler territory. The two are torn apart by a terrible secret they both must bear, and as a young adult, Adam is forced to enter his friend’s spiraling-out-of-control orbit once again. The majority of the book takes place in the present, as the ramifications of this secret radiate throughout their lives.
This type of plot has been done before. What elevates this book is the care and insight that Ben Dolnick has taken to explore the search for redemption and the authenticity of his approach. Among the themes: running towards, not away, from what is most terrifying, descending into cavernous areas of one’s mind, and experiencing the utter darkness to come out through the light.
If this sounds “new agey” it is – a little. But it never gets preachy. As a reader, I cared about Adam and Thomas and their individual and totally distinctive struggles to embrace or evade the questions that took hold of them. This is almost, not quite, a 5-star book and I recommend it highly.
That is the basis of Ben Dolnick’s new book and he has the chops to deliver a well-crafted storyline to the reader. The “action” focuses on the narrator, Adam – a decent kind of kid, nice-looking, popular. He befriends the smartest kid in the school, Thomas, who despite his social awkwardness has an appealing rebellious side. The two of them become inseparable.
To reveal much more about the plot would be entering spoiler territory. The two are torn apart by a terrible secret they both must bear, and as a young adult, Adam is forced to enter his friend’s spiraling-out-of-control orbit once again. The majority of the book takes place in the present, as the ramifications of this secret radiate throughout their lives.
This type of plot has been done before. What elevates this book is the care and insight that Ben Dolnick has taken to explore the search for redemption and the authenticity of his approach. Among the themes: running towards, not away, from what is most terrifying, descending into cavernous areas of one’s mind, and experiencing the utter darkness to come out through the light.
If this sounds “new agey” it is – a little. But it never gets preachy. As a reader, I cared about Adam and Thomas and their individual and totally distinctive struggles to embrace or evade the questions that took hold of them. This is almost, not quite, a 5-star book and I recommend it highly.
October 21, 2013
I feel like this book should have been better than it was, because I really think the author is a very good writer. The problem, in my opinion, was that the direction the story took really didn't do a lot for it.
The beginning of the book was really strong, as we're introduced to 26-year-old Adam, a guy reeling from a breakup and convinced he should be at a better place in his life than he currently is. Adam has a great, original voice, and I was really interested in his interactions with his tutoring kids and his "relationship" with their mom. In between this, the story flashes back to young Adam as his friendship begins to grow with Thomas, a super-smart boy who has trouble fitting in.
The story takes a turn for me when Adam travels to India to try to find his friend Thomas, who drops off the grid as a result of a secret happening between him and Adam when the two were in high school. The book loses a lot of steam there, and I found it kind of plodding and not very satisfying.
Because of that twist--which really took up the last half or so of the book--the novel really wasn't for me. However, I would like to try something else by the writer, since I think he can build a very relatable character.
The beginning of the book was really strong, as we're introduced to 26-year-old Adam, a guy reeling from a breakup and convinced he should be at a better place in his life than he currently is. Adam has a great, original voice, and I was really interested in his interactions with his tutoring kids and his "relationship" with their mom. In between this, the story flashes back to young Adam as his friendship begins to grow with Thomas, a super-smart boy who has trouble fitting in.
The story takes a turn for me when Adam travels to India to try to find his friend Thomas, who drops off the grid as a result of a secret happening between him and Adam when the two were in high school. The book loses a lot of steam there, and I found it kind of plodding and not very satisfying.
Because of that twist--which really took up the last half or so of the book--the novel really wasn't for me. However, I would like to try something else by the writer, since I think he can build a very relatable character.
September 23, 2013
I was so caught up in this novel that I nearly missed a flight. Adam and Thomas were best friends in junior high until they are torn apart by Adam's rise in the complicated statuses of teenagers as well as a tragedy caused by a mistake the two made. Adam moves on to an Ivy League school and is now floundering as an adult when he is approached by Thomas' mother who begs Adam to rescue Thomas. Adam finally reluctantly agrees to look for Thomas in India where he undergoes numerous trials.
July 22, 2014
Powerful look at what it's like to be close to death, and still keep going, practically dead, and still keep going. This book pulls you into a deep cave of introspection and kind of spits you out at the end, leaving you wondering why the hell your priorities are what they are.
October 19, 2013
Story of guilt and friendship - intriguing, but not quite fully realized.
June 8, 2015
Good plot. Good read.
March 24, 2025
This one starts out great, but then, you’ll excuse me, it bottoms out.
At its early best, this feels like a stew of Henry James’s The Ambassadors and Donna Tartt’s Secret History – with a dash of Gatsby tossed in. Of course, that’s a lot to live up to, and it’s no shame to fall short…but it is disappointing after such a promising beginning.
Our narrator, Adam, is a blandly privileged middle school kid who’s chief distinction comes from his befriending the class weirdo, Thomas. That backstory is originally split with a present-tense account of Adam’s readying himself for a trip to India to try to recover Thomas who has wandered off in a culty-religious haze and is no longer answering his parents’ emails.
Before those two narratives come together, there’s a great mystery at the heart of this. We know – because our narrator’s retrospection implies it – that Adam survives his mission to recover Thomas, and there’s even language implying that he’s succeeded.
By the time we get to the climax, though, there’s much less at stake. We’ve had the mystery of the situation resolved, and all that’s left is to measure the respective emotional states of the two.
In all, it’s a promising set of questions and a compelling narrative…until it isn’t.
In other words, the top of this works well, but there’s not as much at the bottom as it promises.
At its early best, this feels like a stew of Henry James’s The Ambassadors and Donna Tartt’s Secret History – with a dash of Gatsby tossed in. Of course, that’s a lot to live up to, and it’s no shame to fall short…but it is disappointing after such a promising beginning.
Our narrator, Adam, is a blandly privileged middle school kid who’s chief distinction comes from his befriending the class weirdo, Thomas. That backstory is originally split with a present-tense account of Adam’s readying himself for a trip to India to try to recover Thomas who has wandered off in a culty-religious haze and is no longer answering his parents’ emails.
Before those two narratives come together, there’s a great mystery at the heart of this. We know – because our narrator’s retrospection implies it – that Adam survives his mission to recover Thomas, and there’s even language implying that he’s succeeded.
By the time we get to the climax, though, there’s much less at stake. We’ve had the mystery of the situation resolved, and all that’s left is to measure the respective emotional states of the two.
In all, it’s a promising set of questions and a compelling narrative…until it isn’t.
In other words, the top of this works well, but there’s not as much at the bottom as it promises.
September 22, 2019
The strongest aspects of this book were the observations the main character made, not on his life or his friend Thomas’s life, but on life in general. Despite his young(ish) age – an ageless wisdom shines through at times that really caught my attention.
“There are certain places, certain objects, that seem in some hard-to-explain way alive, and that gives a weird charmed quality to everything you do in them or with them. When I was little I seemed to get this feeling more regularly; it would come over me when I was holding a glass, or wearing a particular sweater, or sitting in the unpainted corner of the kitchen in one of the first apartments I remember. Warmth? Happiness? Home? What comes to mind is the way wood sometimes looks in sunlight; there’s a Vermeer-ish quality to what I’m talking about.”
Some of the feelings in this story are so universal – and the author does a simply amazing job encapsulating these shared human experiences. This book hinges on one shattering moment – an event that ends the relatively normal and pleasant lives that Adam and Thomas have been living. This moment is described in a snapshot that just haunted me.
“There’s a moment just after breaking something (the glass slips from your fingertips, your elbow catches the vase) in which it feels like if you stand there, absolutely still, baring your teeth, you should be able to suck time backward like an indrawn breath. Your hand hangs there in the air, your eyes fall shut, you’re like someone playing a children’s game with a whistle and a voice that shouts, “Freeze!”
Adam and Thomas go their separate ways, only to come together again in nearly unrecognizable circumstances. Thomas, who has been searching for answers, is then sought out by Adam – who had been trying to deny the past. Only when pushed far past his emotional and physical limits does he realize the impact of their childhood actions.
“I was, of course, incredibly tired, but past a certain point tiredness stops registering primarily as a desire to be asleep. It was as if my body or brain had at some point in the past few days accepted that I was never again going to get adequate sleep, so it had constructed a jittery, pain-spiked simulation of wakefulness.”
Even then, Adam is able to recover some sense of a normal life – but not one that is unaffected by all he has experienced.
“There’s a tendency, I think, to discount the suffering in fear; after the fact, once the tests have come back negative or the call’s been returned, we think, It wasn’t as bad as all that. We let our present relief retouch our past terror.”
One brief moment, one action followed by inaction changed everything. Changed the lives of so many people – and effectively ended the lives of others.
This was a powerful story, but in different ways than I had expected.
“There are certain places, certain objects, that seem in some hard-to-explain way alive, and that gives a weird charmed quality to everything you do in them or with them. When I was little I seemed to get this feeling more regularly; it would come over me when I was holding a glass, or wearing a particular sweater, or sitting in the unpainted corner of the kitchen in one of the first apartments I remember. Warmth? Happiness? Home? What comes to mind is the way wood sometimes looks in sunlight; there’s a Vermeer-ish quality to what I’m talking about.”
Some of the feelings in this story are so universal – and the author does a simply amazing job encapsulating these shared human experiences. This book hinges on one shattering moment – an event that ends the relatively normal and pleasant lives that Adam and Thomas have been living. This moment is described in a snapshot that just haunted me.
“There’s a moment just after breaking something (the glass slips from your fingertips, your elbow catches the vase) in which it feels like if you stand there, absolutely still, baring your teeth, you should be able to suck time backward like an indrawn breath. Your hand hangs there in the air, your eyes fall shut, you’re like someone playing a children’s game with a whistle and a voice that shouts, “Freeze!”
Adam and Thomas go their separate ways, only to come together again in nearly unrecognizable circumstances. Thomas, who has been searching for answers, is then sought out by Adam – who had been trying to deny the past. Only when pushed far past his emotional and physical limits does he realize the impact of their childhood actions.
“I was, of course, incredibly tired, but past a certain point tiredness stops registering primarily as a desire to be asleep. It was as if my body or brain had at some point in the past few days accepted that I was never again going to get adequate sleep, so it had constructed a jittery, pain-spiked simulation of wakefulness.”
Even then, Adam is able to recover some sense of a normal life – but not one that is unaffected by all he has experienced.
“There’s a tendency, I think, to discount the suffering in fear; after the fact, once the tests have come back negative or the call’s been returned, we think, It wasn’t as bad as all that. We let our present relief retouch our past terror.”
One brief moment, one action followed by inaction changed everything. Changed the lives of so many people – and effectively ended the lives of others.
This was a powerful story, but in different ways than I had expected.
January 11, 2023
Thomas Pell and Adam Sanecki develop a close friendship that begins in middle school. Thomas is an aspiring intellectual, while Adam is basically just an average guy.
Thomas's parents are so delighted that their eccentric son has finally found a friend. Adam does have issues at home-he and his stepfather don't exactly get along-and the warmth that he experiences at the Pells is enough to make him a regular in their household.
In high school, Thomas and Adam grow apart in freshman year because Adam makes the baseball team. He could hang out with the jocks, but he doesn't. He still spends time with Thomas.
It's a tragedy that drives them apart during the summer they are fifteen that effectively ends the friendship.
Then, we meet Adam twelve years later. He has many neuroses, and his adult life just isn't working.
Meanwhile, Thomas has disappeared to India after spending time trying to address the mental and emotional distress caused by the tragedy, which began to manifest shortly after the tragedy.
Thomas's parents beg Adam to go to India and find Thomas. At a loss in his own life, he agrees.
This is where the book gets interesting. Many questions come to the fore. How young is too young to be responsible for an accident? Following this, as a young adult, how do you handle a tragedy that occurred before you were equipped to handle it? How old is "old enough" to handle a tragedy? What are the different ways that a person manages grief? What about crime and punishment, whether it's a formal process or some other attempt at restitution? And finally, when are the obligations of friendship overly burdensome?
Thomas's parents are so delighted that their eccentric son has finally found a friend. Adam does have issues at home-he and his stepfather don't exactly get along-and the warmth that he experiences at the Pells is enough to make him a regular in their household.
In high school, Thomas and Adam grow apart in freshman year because Adam makes the baseball team. He could hang out with the jocks, but he doesn't. He still spends time with Thomas.
It's a tragedy that drives them apart during the summer they are fifteen that effectively ends the friendship.
Then, we meet Adam twelve years later. He has many neuroses, and his adult life just isn't working.
Meanwhile, Thomas has disappeared to India after spending time trying to address the mental and emotional distress caused by the tragedy, which began to manifest shortly after the tragedy.
Thomas's parents beg Adam to go to India and find Thomas. At a loss in his own life, he agrees.
This is where the book gets interesting. Many questions come to the fore. How young is too young to be responsible for an accident? Following this, as a young adult, how do you handle a tragedy that occurred before you were equipped to handle it? How old is "old enough" to handle a tragedy? What are the different ways that a person manages grief? What about crime and punishment, whether it's a formal process or some other attempt at restitution? And finally, when are the obligations of friendship overly burdensome?
September 8, 2018
3.75*
I left this book feeling pretty stumped.
I did not know much going into this one and decided to pick it up because of how much I loved the authors other work The Ghost Notebooks.
What this book is, at the core, is an exploration of grief and what guilt does to the human psyche. Our main character, Adam, has a best friend who is plagued by a traumatic event that he was involved in when they were teens. The story takes off from there.
The reader gets a haunting and (at times) hopeless tale of what one will do to erase the past and give back what they believe they have taken away from someone else. It is a journey through the darkest parts of our characters thoughts, which goes from D.C to India.
I liked the dark tone the book carries and our main character, Adam. There are some beautiful passages here that really feel polished, which I enjoyed.
My critique is that the book was a little all over the place and lackluster at times. There were parts where I honestly felt like skimming, so I would say the novel is not entirely ground breaking. It is not the kind of book that you will not be able to put down, because it is truly not that exciting. It’s a slow burn more than anything.
I still enjoyed it though and we rate it 3.5-3.75*.
I left this book feeling pretty stumped.
I did not know much going into this one and decided to pick it up because of how much I loved the authors other work The Ghost Notebooks.
What this book is, at the core, is an exploration of grief and what guilt does to the human psyche. Our main character, Adam, has a best friend who is plagued by a traumatic event that he was involved in when they were teens. The story takes off from there.
The reader gets a haunting and (at times) hopeless tale of what one will do to erase the past and give back what they believe they have taken away from someone else. It is a journey through the darkest parts of our characters thoughts, which goes from D.C to India.
I liked the dark tone the book carries and our main character, Adam. There are some beautiful passages here that really feel polished, which I enjoyed.
My critique is that the book was a little all over the place and lackluster at times. There were parts where I honestly felt like skimming, so I would say the novel is not entirely ground breaking. It is not the kind of book that you will not be able to put down, because it is truly not that exciting. It’s a slow burn more than anything.
I still enjoyed it though and we rate it 3.5-3.75*.
January 22, 2022
I can't decide how I feel about this book. I received an advance reader's edition via a book giveaway on The Library Thing website. In all honestly, I've had this book for a good while and have started reading it numerous times (which is generally not a good indication that the book is an engaging page-turner). I usually devour a book in a day or two...this one took me a week or more once I determined to finish it this time.
It's interesting. Haunting. Somewhat depressing even. At the last page, I had to ask myself, "What just happened? Huh? What's the resolution?"
I'm a "happily ever after" reader, and this wasn't that. Although not my cup of tea, the author captured the essence of grief and guilt very well. There is some great vocabulary used in this book and an opportunity to peak into another culture.
Would I recommend this book? It depends. Maybe. I didn't hate it. I didn't love it. I understood what the author was doing with his story and he did it well, but the ending let me down and I was hoping for a stronger finish. But, maybe that is the point of the entire thing--we don't always get the outcome we imagined.
It's interesting. Haunting. Somewhat depressing even. At the last page, I had to ask myself, "What just happened? Huh? What's the resolution?"
I'm a "happily ever after" reader, and this wasn't that. Although not my cup of tea, the author captured the essence of grief and guilt very well. There is some great vocabulary used in this book and an opportunity to peak into another culture.
Would I recommend this book? It depends. Maybe. I didn't hate it. I didn't love it. I understood what the author was doing with his story and he did it well, but the ending let me down and I was hoping for a stronger finish. But, maybe that is the point of the entire thing--we don't always get the outcome we imagined.
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