Where Do We Go When We Disappear?

by Isabel Minhós Martins, Madalena Matoso

Who can say with absolute certainty where people go when they disappear? Do we go to the same place that lost socks go to? Or do we perhaps evaporate into the skies like puddles? Children ask big questions, and this book seeks to provide some answers.
This charming book tackles a serious theme in a philosophical and often whimsical way by drawing on the world around us for ideas, and offers children a new way of looking at the world. The conclusion? “Nothing is too empty a place to be in. And if we all go there, it will cease to be nothing in no time.”

Praise for Where Do We Go When We Disappear?
"A book that challenges them to think about their world in different, unexpected ways."
-- Publishers Weekly

Genres: Picture Books, Childrens, Death, Philosophy, Grief

44 pages, Hardcover

First published August 1, 2013

About the author

É formada em Design de Comunicação pela Faculdade de Belas Artes (1997).
Fundou, juntamente com 3 amigos, a editora Planeta Tangerina.
Ganhou uma Menção Honrosa no I Prémio Internacional Compostela de Álbuns Ilustrados (“Ovelhinha, Dá-me Lã”, Kalandraka, ilustrações de Yara Kono).
Em 2010, foi nomeada para os Prémios de Autor da SPA/RTP na categoria Literatura Infanto-Juvenil com “O Livro dos Quintais” (Planeta Tangerina, ilustrações de Bernardo Carvalho).
“O Mundo Num Segundo” (na edição espanhola da Intermon Oxfam) é distinguido pelo Banco del Libro como “Melhor Livro Infantil 2010”.
Tem livros publicados em Espanha, França, Inglaterra, Itália, Brasil, Noruega, Coreia.

Reviews

[Tom Lichtenheld · Rating 5 out of 5]

On the surface, it's about the fate of splashed puddles and shifting sands. But the subtext is change and, ultimately, mortality. The book handles these too often-out-of-bounds subjects with imagery and imagination that's perfectly in synch with the way children see the world. I highly recommend this book for all children, especially those who may be dealing with loss.

[Metin Yılmaz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Koç üniversitesinin çocuk yayınlarını takip etmenizi tavsiye ederim. Çok güzel çalışmalar basıyorlar.

[Leopoldo · Rating 5 out of 5]

INCREÍBLE pequeño ensayo para niños, sobre la (aparente, sólo aparente) desaparición de las cosas.

[Cara Byrne · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Nothing lasts forever." Wow. A stunning, complex picture book that takes on loss and disappearance in a smart way. "And noise, where does it go when it disappears? It stays buzzing in the air for a while and then eventually falls silent. But wherever children are running and playing it immediately reappears. There are certain places noise will never disappear from."

[Erin]

Could be comforting in grief, and certainly presents some thoughtful considerations, but I was not greatly moved by this. Partly I think it was because it was too unfocused: by targeting "disappearance" and not death, the book becomes applicable if someone simply disappears from your life, which might be helpful in the case of estranged family members. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, and might help spark conversations about any kind of death or disappearance, but it made it a more challenging read for me.

Mostly, though, I struggled with the final page: "Better than nothing... Nothing is too empty a place to go." This page struck me as the unprepared parent-in-the-headlights response to a too pointed question from their child, and not as a thoughtful response to a disappearance. Sometimes nothing (or nowhere) is exactly where things go, and that can be okay, too, even if it's not always pleasant to admit.

As a book to spark conversation, I appreciated the various perspectives of disappearance. And if death is not your reason for picking up this book, it might work for you. But as an honest look at what happens when people die or disappear, I felt as though the last page dropped the ball.

[Abby · Rating 5 out of 5]

If we disappear and nobody notices, then we don't actually disappear. Because for someone to disappear, they have to be missed.

It always takes two for someone to disappear.
(One that stays and one that goes.)

What happens when we die? Where do we 'go' when we die?

Though this children's book asks more questions than it answers, it gives plenty of ideas to consider when we think about what happens when we die.

Everyone says something different about where we go when we disappear. But if we look around us we'll discover even more ideas about what might happen.
Endless possibilities.

We can go to amazing places (like socks).
We can go to heaven (like puddles).
We can travel through the ocean (like sand).
We can reappear (like noise).
We can stay exactly where we are (like the sun).
We can go to sleep or out dancing. Or dance while we sleep.

[Francisca · Rating 4 out of 5]

O nada é um sítio demasiado vazio para alguém estar. / E se formos todos lá parar, deixará de ser o nada em menos de nada (Não lhe podemos fazer isso).

Um livro infantil que traz mais questões do que respostas sobre a existência de tudo... e talvez seja disso que precisamos.
Uma boa maneira de explicarmos o luto a uma criança, mas também a nós. Quando não há resposta possível há sempre possibilidades.

Podemos ir para sítios incríveis (como as meias).
Podemos subir até ao céu (como as poças de água).
Podemos formar praias (como as areias).
Podemos voltar outra vez (como as nuvens).
Podemos não ir a lado nenhum e ficar sempre aqui (como o Sol).

[Cassie · Rating 4 out of 5]

First up, I love the illustration style of this book. It's abstract, bright and colourful, a lovely change from the washed out palette of most books about death.

"Everyone says something different about where we go when we disappear."

By exploring the ever changing nature of the world around us, children are given options to add to their ideas of what happens after death.

"We forget that when a beach changes shape, it's because another beach had lost some of its sand."


For:
Mortality
Impermanence of being


Why yes, I have been reading a lot of picture books about death recently.

[Murat AYDIN · Rating 4 out of 5]

Evrendeki yaşam döngüsünü ve bu döngünün bir uzantısı olarak ayrılığı ve sevdiklerimizin ölümünü ergenlik çağının altındaki yaşlarda bulunan çocuklara açıklamak adına güzel bir kitap. Bu bağlamda, okuması çok kısa süre alsa da, hem ilkokul çağındaki çocukların hem de çocuklarının eğitim sürecinde rol oynayan eğitimcilerin ve yetişkinlerin istifade edebileceği bir kitap. Ancak daha hacimli ve daha derinlikli olmasını arzu ederdim.

[madziar · Rating 4 out of 5]

"O tym, kto pozostaje, najczęściej mówi się, że został z pustymi rękami. Ale tak naprawdę ten, kto odchodzi, pozostawia mu zawsze cała masę pytań" (11). Autorka zabiera czytelników w podróż ilustrowaną czarna kreską drogi M. Matoso poprzez najbliższe, codzienne zjawiska, w które wpisana jest skończoność i przemijanie.

[Anna · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not a fan of this book. I thought it would go more in-depth about death and actually talk about death, but they don't. They mention where some other things go, where they come back or how they come back, and mention a little bit of where we might go (like heaven), but other than that not really. If you're looking for a book about death this isn't it.

[Tina Hoggatt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Curious and wonderful, the illustrations are at times as abstract as the ideas. Part philosophy, part meditation, with flights of fancy and near-science. I've not read anything quite like it. Perfect illustrations by Madalena Matoso. Originally published in Portugal.

[Ana Oliveira · Rating 4 out of 5]

"De quem fica, quase sempre se diz
Que fica de mãos vazias.
Mas a verdade é que quem parte
Lhe deixa sempre um monte de perguntas.
Perguntas tão difíceis como os enigmas
Que os reis das histórias lançavam aos seus súbditos"

[Mikimou · Rating 5 out of 5]

"It always takes two
for someone to disappear."
♥

[Jenna Mills · Rating 3 out of 5]

A bit of an odd one. Perhaps reassuring for someone who is grieving.

[Cheryl]

Coulda sworn I read this. And didn't appreciate it. But where's my review? Oh well... reading others' reviews indicates I needn't bother.

[Joseph Maria O.T.F. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Muito lindinho e mostra bem a efemeridade das coisas na vida inclusive a própria vida humana

[Liz · Rating 2 out of 5]

Pretty, and asks interesting questions, but really dies not seem child appropriate, especially considering the heaviness of the theme.

[Roconut · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mi cuento favorito, es tremendamente bonito lo que transmite con su simpleza.

[Marla Singer · Rating 4 out of 5]

kaybolunca nereye gideriz? Istanbul’a. aglayarak okudum kitabi, istanbulumda depremler olurken. cok guzel bir kitapti ama cocuklarin anlayabilecegini pek dusunmuyorum

[Tasha · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recently reviewed My Neighbor Is a Dog, another new book by this author and illustrator duo. In this book, the question of where people and things go when they disappear is explored thoroughly. The result is a book that asks big questions and attempts to answer them or at least provide a framework to answer them. The book begins with people disappearing and the idea that you must be missed in order to disappear, so disappearing takes two. Then it moves on to other things that disappear like sunshine and clouds, socks and puddles, snow and noise. It ends with the fact that everything disappears, even the most solid things like rocks over time will disappear.

Translated from the Portuguese original, this book is thought provoking and fascinating. Martins manages to right a book about big questions that answers them in a way that is exploratory and insightful and doesn’t turn quickly to a religious answer. Instead she stays in the questioning place, allowing different ideas to surface and be discussed. She does not provide any easy answers, meeting children right where they want the discussion to stay, where it leads to more and more questions.

Matoso’s illustrations are vibrantly colored and filled with strong shapes. They appear to be block printed which adds to the organic feel. She uses negative space brilliantly. One example is her snow image with the background white and the flakes cut out circles that merge directly into the white and stand out against the other bright objects.

Challenging, thought-provoking and a book that will inspire discussion and help children find their own answers. Appropriate for ages 5-7.

[Lanica · Rating 1 out of 5]

I have no idea what this book was supposed to do for kids...but all I've seen it do is frustrate and confuse them. This isn't a children's book...it's an art books written for adults. I would not recommend this for a school library.

In my opinion...It's not about death. It's not about grieving. It is not meant to comfort anyone, especially a kid. And, the ending is just not on point with the rest of the book.

[Carol · Rating 4 out of 5]

A nice way to try to explain a concept that many youngsters wonder about. Where do things go when they disappear? Whether it is a mud puddle or a sandy beach, there is an explanation of where it goes. I love the last page where it says: "Better than nothing... Nothing is too empty a place to go. And besides, if we all go there, it will cease to be nothing in no time. (We can't do that to it.)"

[Earl · Rating 3 out of 5]

A beautiful picture book that tackles the subject of death in smaller, easier to understand ways like rain puddles and sands on the beach. This book is great for kids who are asking about it or as a way to introduce the topic gently to them.

[Juliana Lee · Rating 3 out of 5]

This unusual picture book tries to explain a very difficult question by comparing it to things in nature which appear and disappear. Puddles return to heaven, rocks get washed out to sea, the sun stays in one place but it looks like it disappears when it doesn't, noise travels with the wind.

[Andi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Super rad

[Beth]

Where Do We Go When We Disappear is for the observant, philosophical child. Perhaps a book to share BEFORE they ask the big questions about death, as it is handled in a roundabout, symbolic way here.

[Sue Poduska · Rating 3 out of 5]

About perception, what is right in front of us, and dealing with loss.

[Clara M · Rating 5 out of 5]

Livro lindooo! De uma simplicidade que nos apaixona. Amei <3

[Drew · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gently talks about loss and death in a roundabout way.