Mind Without a Home: A Memoir of Schizophrenia

by Kristina Morgan

This book brings readers straight inside the tortuous nature of the disease of schizophrenia, chronicled in short, journal-like chapters that narrate the author’s incredible story.

Experience the inner world of a woman with schizophrenia in this brutally honest, lyrical memoir.Have you ever wondered what it is like in the mind of a person with schizophrenia? How can one survive day after day unable to distinguish between one's inner nightmares and the everyday realities that most of us take for granted?In her brutally honest, highly original memoir, Kristina Morgan takes us inside her head to experience the chaos, fragmented thinking, and the startling creativity of the schizophrenic mind. With the intimacy of private journal-like entries and the language of a poet, she carries us from her childhood to her teen years when hallucinations began to hijack her mind and into adulthood where she began abusing alcohol to temper the punishing voices that only she could hear.This is no formulaic tale of tragedy and We feel Kristina's hope as she pursues an education and career and begins to build strong family connections, friendships and intimacy-and her devastation as the insistent voices convince her to throw it all away, destroying herself and alienating everyone around her. Woven through the pages of her life are stories of recovery from alcoholism and the search for her sexual identity in relationships with both women and men. Eventually, her journey takes her to a place of relative peace and stability where she finds the inner resources and support system to manage her chronic illnesses and live a fulfilling life.

Genres: Memoir, Mental Health, Nonfiction, Psychology, Biography

260 pages, Paperback

First published August 13, 2013

Reviews

[Sara Strand · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm going to be honest and tell you right up front, judge me all you want, but certain types of mental illness scares the pants off of me. And by that I mean, I could never work with people with a mental disability because I could not handle it. I don't work well on the fly, I get scared and I don't know how to reason. It's terrible and I hate it. I should also say right now, I'm not one of those people who would turn the other way or refuse to be in a place with people with any kind of disability, I'm not that kind of jerk. I just don't understand it and fear comes from someone not understanding.

This book? Made me understand it far better.

The book is a bit jumpy, in that it jumps from one time period to the next, then back, then forward, etc. And that's OK because I feel like if you have schizophrenia, this seems like a logical way things happen. The author lives with schizophrenia is so incredibly open, honest, and endearing that you can't help but just want to hug her. I cannot even imagine what it would be like to be in her position and feel like either something is wrong with your or something is drastically wrong with the world. How incredibly terrifying would that be? Then when you look at the people around the person with schizophrenia, you get it. Friends and family are frustrated, scared, and want to help and it looks like the person with the illness isn't trying or appreciative. It's like those shape sorter toys- trying to jam a triangle in the circle hole and the circle being jammed into the triangle hole and nobody understanding why nothing is working. It's frustrating and when you think about a person maybe harming themselves or others, it can be scary.

And I won't lie- the first thing I thought about was Amanda Bynes and just feeling a thousand times more sympathetic for her. She lived this out for the entire world to see and that is embarrassing and just so sad. What also makes me appreciate this book is the plea for treatment. Just like food stamps help people who are hungry, there really needs to be something better in place to help people who have a mental illness. Everything seems like an overwhelming feat in the beginning, but just think of how many people are out in the world, just lost. Lost, scared, and not having a clue what's going on with them. It's not right. Not in any way.

But seriously- it takes a really strong person to live with schizophrenia, oh and throw some alcoholism in there as well, and you just want to gives this author a standing ovation because dammit. What a woman. Seriously. She may be flawed, but we all are. Not many can say not only are they living life, by they are kicking life's ass at the same time. Such a tremendous book and I highly recommend it.

[Alicia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Seeing the world through Morgan's eyes is refreshingly beautiful and heartbreaking and frustrating. I loved the disparate and vivid images that punctuate her lovely and complicated prose and yet at times they were distracting or confusing. They slow down your reading and continually interrupt the flow of the story, but I think it's important that the reader understand that this is how Kristina's mind navigates. I imagine she feels, at times, exactly how the reader begins to feel. If you surrender your expectations, you will find Morgan's experience to be interesting and honest and hopeful.

[Chandrabrown80 Brown · Rating 1 out of 5]

I could not finish this book and lost interest. The writing needs better structure. The storyline bounced all over the place too much.

[Julie N · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's a Monday and, to top it off, I was up at 5:30 this morning and on my way to the gym, so my brain is basically useless so far today. I'm going to use the Goodreads description for this one:
In her brutally honest, highly original memoir, Kristina Morgan takes us inside her head to experience the chaos, fragmented thinking, and the startling creativity of the schizophrenic mind. With the intimacy of private journal-like entries and the language of a poet, she carries us from her childhood to her teen years when hallucinations began to hijack her mind and into adulthood where she began abusing alcohol to temper the punishing voices that only she could hear.
I've always enjoyed memoirs that deal with mental illness, but I've become particularly interested in them as I've started playing around with writing a bit myself about depression. This is obviously a far different beast, but it jumped off the shelf at me as one that would appeal.

Writing
I'm torn on how to appropriately review the writing in this one. On the one hand, it is a remarkable look into the mind of a person with schizophrenia. It is complex and disjointed, but creative and lyrical as well. The author does an amazing job of capturing her mental illness and presenting it to the reader as if we were seeing into her mind. That picture, however, can be difficult to follow and reads, at times, like random strings of words. While this gives the reader insight to the disease and how it causes the author's mind to work, it can also be tiresome to read pages of incoherent thought. In the end, the author accomplishes precisely what she set out to do, but it wasn't always pleasurable to read.

Entertainment Value
Again, the lack of coherence got to me by the end of the book in terms of overall enjoyment. I found myself skimming some portions where I just couldn't follow the author's train of thought. That said, the author has a truly amazing story to tell and I'm glad I read it. Not many people with schizophrenia are able to accomplish what Morgan has, and her story is inspiring and thought-provoking.

Overall
I think it's definitely worth reading, especially if the subject of mental illness or the idea of seeing life from the point of view of someone with a significant mental handicap is of interest. I think it was well-done and gives a very accurate glimpse into the lives of people who struggle with schizophrenia.

Thank yo uto TLC for providing me with a copy to review!

[Diane · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kristina Morgan opens the prologue of her memoir Mind Without a Home in September of 1993 when she is twenty-nine years old. She has been sober for eleven years, has overdosed seven times in three months and hears the voices of men and women urging to hurt herself and others. She gets drunk and tries to kill herself again but doesn't succeed.

From there we meet Kristina's family- Jeremy and Hannah, her parents, and sisters Rose and Hunter. Her parents married because Hannah was pregnant with Kristina. Over the years, Hannah became an alcoholic, Rose became a sleepwalker and occasionally used drugs, Hunter was a heavy drug user and Kristina had schizophrenia and was an alcoholic.

Kristina's family had a lot of issues, but luckily she had two sets of grandparents who, at various times in her adult life when she needed them most, took her in. I really felt for them, trying their best to help their granddaughter through the many hospitalizations.

The book shows what it is like to live with mental illness, a topic that we have seen in the news recently and really needs to be addressed by society. Kristina hid her illness for a long time, but finally, like many who suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, it comes to surface in her late twenties.

She describes mental illness as a "Stephen King novel. I knew it was there, I knew something was happening, but the first 300 pages it had to yet to reveal itself. I was on page 150. I still had time before my heart was cut out and my mind completely poisoned."

The reader is dropped into her world, where she hears the constant hum of voices, is heavily medicated, sleeps for long hours at a time, can't get or hold a job, moves from place to place when roommates can no longer put up with her behavior, deals with frequent hospitalizations, and tries desperately to find and hold onto a mate.

Kristina gets a job as a high school English teacher, which she loves, but loses it when the principal discovers her history. It devastates Kristina, for teaching gives her structure and joy. She falls in love with men and women, but can't sustain a permanent relationship, although she does have long on-again-and-off-again relationships with a few people until they can't take it anymore.

Living in a big city, one sees many people sleeping on church steps, wandering the city during the day, and the assumption is that they have some sort of mental illness. The most important thing I got from this memoir is the feeling of empathy for those with mental illness. We are put into their shoes in this shattering memoir.

Morgan is a poet, and the language here is poetic. She uses imagery a great deal of the time, and anyone who enjoys poetry will probably get more from this book than others. Near the end of the book, she writes a note titled "Dear Self" that beautifully sums up where she is. If I have a criticism, it is that it can be repetitive towards the end of the book.

[Elaine Banuelos · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s hard to judge memoirs as someone’s life and memories can be hard to put into words. The story itself was great, struggles with family dynamics, sobriety, and schizophrenia on top of daily issues. The book seemed a little scattered and abrupt though… but that may be the point, experiencing life through the eyes of someone with mental illness.

[Rebecca Scaglione · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this book from TLC Book Tours in exchange for a fair and honest review.

Mind Without a Home: A Memoir of Schizophrenia by Kristina Morgan is a book that hooked me just from the title. I am very interested in books about psychology, and this one is no different.

Kristina tells her own story of alcohol addiction and schizophrenia living/diagnosis. It’s disjointed in parts, but it’s supposed to be an echo of how Kristina’s life feels as someone who has schizophrenia.

I could not put this book down. For the first 3/4 of the memoir, I was so hooked. Kristina gives insight into her disorder in a way that I haven’t seen before and she’s very honest. She also describes her family life, her battles with alcohol, and her many visits to mental institutions.

For the full review, visit Love at First Book

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mind Without a Home is a unique autobiographical work about the author's life with Schizophrenia. I enjoyed the read and recognized much of the mental illness, although her lyrical and disjointed style of writing was at times hard to comprehend, or became almost boring. Towards the end I found myself skipping over much of the prose to the get to the details. I found the details of her mental illness to be lacking, but the life history was enough for me to finish to the end. The poetic writing is both beautiful and difficult to read, as every situation is tied to some form of metaphor or allegory. Still, I must give it four stars just because it's real, and that takes a lot of bravery.

[Brian · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an engaging memoir with a few major flaws. The first being that I didn't like the constant changing of tenses. I wasn't sure if this was done deliberately, because of the schizophrenia, but calling the narrator's mother "Mom" and then "Hannah" was confusing and I couldn't understand why it was done. The same was done with her father. The story jumping around a lot and at times was hard to follow. There were several parts that I really thought were well done, and other parts, not so much.

[Shirley · Rating 3 out of 5]

"...The very nature of Morgan's illness becomes so much a parallel to the manner in which this memoir reads. How better to form an idea of what she must have gone through and what she still battles to this day. Mind Without a Home is naked, transparent, and disturbing in its blatant reality. A true eye-opener."

Read the entire review here: http://shirley-mybookshelf.blogspot.c...

[Patricia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I liked it, but it felt that it ran on a bit too much. An obvious talented writer, but in order to portray the meanderings of schizophrenia -- which she did a fine job -- made the story redundant (for me).

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

She's a great writer, but I don't know, it felt scattered. I guess I'm used to stories with a beginning and an end. I think her book is much more realistic in that it's not written perfectly in order and it's not like everything is 100% perfect and solved in the end.

[Elyssa · Rating 1 out of 5]

I read 60 pages and couldn't go on. The writing felt too much like a stream-of-consciousness journal in need of more structure and editing.

[Renata · Rating 4 out of 5]

A heavy read, and one that will stretch your perception of sanity and hopefully inspire a little more understanding for people suffering from psychological disorders.

[Brooke Murphy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This memoir was an amazing reflection of what it's like to be schizophrenic and gives us insight into those struggles.

[Clara Douglas · Rating 4 out of 5]

a very unique story, never read any thing like it before.
a real eye opener to what having a mental illness is like.

[Paul · Rating 3 out of 5]

The sheer hell that this author has gone through in her life is hard to imagine. Also hard to imagine how a paranoid schizophrenic woman in her late 30s could get an M.A. in creative writing. She has struggled singularly hard, and my heart goes out to her. It's amazing to me that she can write such lucid, poetic prose in the middle of psychotic breaks and afterwards. The book is a little hard to follow, as there is no exact chronological order to her memoirs. She has a lyrical, poetical style, although some of her images are hard to imagine and some comparisons are hard to follow. For a book by a schizophrenic, it has remarkable clear sections that let the reader see what she goes through with the voices talking to her all the time. From her description, her family of origin is the most dysfunctional I've ever read about, and that doesn't help her recovery at all. She's incredibly brave not to have succumbed to the constant suicidal thoughts. I ended up having great admiration for her.

[Kerri · Rating 2 out of 5]

The difficulty of writing in a way that gives a true representation of a mental illness like schizophrenia is what makes this book a difficult read. I couldn’t follow the lines of thought well, likely because this is just how the author and her brain coexist. It made for a difficult read where I felt I was crashing in and out of time periods and not knowing where the author was at in her illness. I know one of the themes was that she too didn’t know, but in order to become a bit more educated, I as an audience needed clearer lines to understand the ebbs and flows of the authors schizophrenia, even if I am well aware clear delineation such as these don’t exist in the real word.

[Ellen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Raw and authenic

I have a close relative with this illness so I found it fascinating to experience it from the patient's perspective. I recognized the frustrations and confusion. I admire her for her ability to keep going and her faith in God despite the tremendous challenges she faces daily. Enlightening.

[Giorgia Wessels · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. I loved Kristina’s story and it really shows what you can accomplish if you continue to show up for yourself. She is brave and hard-working, and you can tell she is a good person.
It’s a good book - the writing was sometimes a little difficult to understand and I can’t pretend to know how she feels and thinks - but nevertheless it’s worth a read and continues to be inspiring.

[Alexis Cook · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book. The imagery is insane, a little bit so to where it may be hard to comprehend sometimes, but its beautiful and very poetic. And the timeline is a bit confusing but other than that, it is a great read and I would recommend it.

[Paige · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was intense. Hard to put down, and the disjointed writing style communicates the author’s mindset throughout her experience of schizophrenia and recovery. Peppered throughout with mindful explorations of distressing thoughts and day-to-day life, this story was such a powerful read.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recommend this book for those that are studying mental illness or have family members with severe mental illness. It is a good book to add to one's library. Well written and easy to read.

[Cheyenne Grimes · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very interesting to read about what living with schizophrenia is like - this is an eye opening story about mental illness. I found this to be a pretty easy read with lots of poetic writing.

[Kalee · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting perspective on the authors experience with schizophrenia. It was a little hard to follow because of the disjointed, somewhat poetic at times, writing style.

[Bria Gallogly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Heartbreaking, but beautiful autobiography.

[Emmett E. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think it’s a great book, and the structure never really bothered me compared to what others are saying.

[Leigh Anne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Memoir of a writer guided by voices. Not always in the good way.

In fact, most of the time Kristina Morgan's voices were incredibly self-destructive. They were sneaky about it, though. Even as a child Morgan heard voices convincing here there was another reality, and she could go there. All she had to do was kill herself. Thus begins a lifetime of suicide attempts, stays in mental hospitals, and merciful lucid periods in which she manages to cobble together a life.

This book is hard to read. For starters, Morgan's entire family struggles with some sort of mental illness, from simple depression to alcoholism. Raised in this context, it's amazed Morgan lived long enough to write a book. You have to respect, though, the strong, stubborn power in her that simply would not let her die, no matter how many times she tried. But also, it's really hard to read through a good patch, and hope that things are finally going to be okay, only to be let down when another trip to the hospital looms.

The thing that kept me going here was the knowledge that Morgan lives long enough to write the book, so things MUST turn out okay, right? Readers will be relieved to know that Morgan was, as of 2013, doing just fine: living with her husband and their dogs, writing, working part time. The voices have subsided to a dull roar, and she still needs disability and a whole slew of support people to function normally. Paranoia's still a problem, too. Still, considering the brutal string of illnesses she went through, it's a mercy the doctors finally found a medication that gives Morgan a stab at a normal life.

This book will be of most benefit for people who suffer from severe schizophrenia and their caregivers, as it may make them feel less alone in the world. Therapists would benefit, too. Casual readers may find it too much, but it is an incredibly faithful rendering of what real life is for countless people with severe mental illness every darned day. Some people like to look reality in the eye, and some people like to avoid it. Booktalk according. Recommended for larger non-fiction collections.

[Dani]

Pretty good and interesting enough for me to seek it out on paper!
But, and I feel silly saying this, it got so weird and not-sense-making in the middle that I ended up dnfing and returning it to the library.
Like, uhhh, it's a memoir of schizophrenia, what did you expect?
I know, but still! I really couldn't follow it after a while.
Plus, my horrible track record with finishing books on paper these days.
So much irony...

[DIANA K ROBERTS · Rating 5 out of 5]

So true to life.

This is a very realistic account of living with a family member with schizophrenia and the absolute valleys of drama and despair. It is good to know that with time and medication that there is hope of a fairly normal life.