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Getting to 50/50: How Working Parents Can Have It All
Winner of the ForeWord Reviews 2013 IndieFab Awards Silver medal in the category of Family & Relationships
Winner of the Independent Publisher Book Awards 2014 Gold medal in the category of Parenting
Sharon Meers and Joanna Strober are professionals wives and mothers. They understand the challenges and rewards of two-career households. They also know that families thrive not in spite of working mothers but because of them. You can have a great career a great marriage and be a great mother. The key is tapping into your best resource and most powerful ally--the man you married.
After interviewing hundreds of parents and employers surveying more than a thousand working mothers and combing through the latest government and social science research the authors have discovered that kids husbands and wives all reap huge benefits when couples commit to share equally as breadwinners and caregivers. Mothers work without guilt fathers bond with their kids and children blossom with the attention of two involved parents.
From "baby boot camp" for new dads to exactly what to say when negotiating a leave with the boss this savvy book offers fresh ideas to today's families offering encouragement hope and confidence to any woman who has ever questioned her choices regarding work and family.
Winner of the Independent Publisher Award Gold Medal in Parenting
Winner of the Independent Publisher Book Awards 2014 Gold medal in the category of Parenting
Sharon Meers and Joanna Strober are professionals wives and mothers. They understand the challenges and rewards of two-career households. They also know that families thrive not in spite of working mothers but because of them. You can have a great career a great marriage and be a great mother. The key is tapping into your best resource and most powerful ally--the man you married.
After interviewing hundreds of parents and employers surveying more than a thousand working mothers and combing through the latest government and social science research the authors have discovered that kids husbands and wives all reap huge benefits when couples commit to share equally as breadwinners and caregivers. Mothers work without guilt fathers bond with their kids and children blossom with the attention of two involved parents.
From "baby boot camp" for new dads to exactly what to say when negotiating a leave with the boss this savvy book offers fresh ideas to today's families offering encouragement hope and confidence to any woman who has ever questioned her choices regarding work and family.
Winner of the Independent Publisher Award Gold Medal in Parenting
340 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2009
34 people are currently reading
1646 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 59 reviews
February 24, 2016
Comforting but repetitive.
This book is for a very specific demographic - professional women married to men, who are having children in the near future (or recently had one), and whose jobs/careers are important to them. I appreciate that the authors focus on women who already want what the book proposes instead of trying to win converts, but as such, it's preaching to the choir and the advice tends to be very broad - marry the right person, then advocate for yourself and your work at home and advocate for yourself and your family at work. If you're a woman who has already been enthusiastically navigating returning to your job from maternity leave, there are probably not many new ideas here that you haven't considered.
This book is for a very specific demographic - professional women married to men, who are having children in the near future (or recently had one), and whose jobs/careers are important to them. I appreciate that the authors focus on women who already want what the book proposes instead of trying to win converts, but as such, it's preaching to the choir and the advice tends to be very broad - marry the right person, then advocate for yourself and your work at home and advocate for yourself and your family at work. If you're a woman who has already been enthusiastically navigating returning to your job from maternity leave, there are probably not many new ideas here that you haven't considered.
October 28, 2013
A great book for managers who have women working for them and for men and women who have or are thinking of having families. I highly recommend this book to women who are thinking of not returning to work after the birth of a child. I too encountered many of the thoughts/guilts described in this book. Thankfully, I have a husband who is willing to give 50% (sometimes more) so that I too can have a successful career.
January 23, 2012
A must read for any woman who wants to do it all. Short answer: it's not possible, so ask your husband to be a part of your choices. Practical, funny, and sensitive, this book is an essential tool-kit for working couples who plan to have kids someday. Many chapters are more specific to women's issues, but it's important for men and women to understand the complex choices working mothers face. I also liked this book because it helped move me away from my perfectionist tendencies.
May 23, 2016
this took away my anxiety. Anxiety I hadn't even fully realized I had until I started crying while listening to the audiobook. Why? Because I was so relieved to hear that I REALLY don't have to choose between falling, husband or career. I can have it all - if I dare.
Highly recommended, even if your not planing to marry & have kids soon (I don't).
Highly recommended, even if your not planing to marry & have kids soon (I don't).
May 20, 2014
I am really glad I read this book. I was worried that the impossibility of 50/50 split in my life would leave me with a foul taste in my mouth, but this was a great, realistic book about the challenges of working parenthood. (Note to military spouses: don't read it during a deployment!)
Read
June 13, 2023Become equals, become happy!
Here’s a question for the fathers out there: when was the last time you took out the trash without being asked to? How often did you offer to look after the kids, to give your partner a break?
Hopefully that’s not too hard to answer.
Nevertheless, men and women still don’t enjoy equal rights – neither at home nor at work. But we hardly hear anything about what steps can be taken in order to enjoy the benefits of a 50/50 life. A 50/50 life is a life in which partners equally share the responsibilities of childcare, work life and each other.
What you’ll find out is that an equal division of tasks is totally possible and, actually, it’s the best way to have happy and healthy children, maintain physical and mental health and enjoy a healthy relationship (including sex life!).
-
Childcare doesn’t hurt your family – it can help you spend more quality time with your children.
Remember Julie Andrews in Mary Poppins, flying into the Banks’ home, making everything prim, proper and perfect? All parents wish they could have that ability, but more than ever, families are struggling to find the best way to care for their home and children. Many rely on childcare, and fear accusations that they’re lazy or bad parents.
Some parents even believe that childcare can hurt their children’s development. But contrary to what you may have been told, childcare on a part-time basis does no harm to the well-being of your children.
In fact, 15 years of research carried out by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development revealed no difference in emotional well-being between children who spent all their time under their parent’s supervision, and children who spent part of their time in childcare. It’s the proportion of time that matters. So if you overdo it with childcare, it may have unfavorable effects on your children, such as an increase in tantrums.
But seeking out extra help should never make you feel like an inattentive parent. Actually, today’s children generally aren’t attention-deprived. Sociologist Suzanne Bianchi from the University of Maryland found that mothers and fathers spent more time with their children in 2000 than they did in 1965.
Also, don’t forget that the quality of your parenting time outweighs the quantity of it.
Mothers who stay at home don’t spend much more time interacting actively with their children than mothers who work outside of the home. A Texas University study showed that mothers who worked outside the home shared only 20 percent less social activity with their children than stay-at-home mothers.
Stay-at-home mothers sometimes don’t appreciate the extra time they have with their children, whereas working mothers tend to cherish the bedtime stories and bathtime they can share.
-
Both partners enjoy many benefits when the wife works outside the home.
Some men fantasize about coming home from work to find their wife in a sexy outfit, dishing up a home-cooked meal. But really, husbands and wives are happier and more interested in one another when they both work outside the home. They also have stronger relationships and more sex.
Studies show that after the birth of a child, husbands and wives tend to disengage and gravitate away from each other if the mother stays home and the father goes to work. This is because they lead entirely different lives and don’t have much in common.
But when they share responsibility – like if the father helps with household chores and the mother works outside the home – partners are more attracted to one another.
A 2006 survey found that the more household chores the husband was willing to assume, the better his sex life was with his wife. And the more hours a wife worked outside the home, the more sex she had with her husband.
What’s more, sharing the household duties and the breadwinning can protect a marriage from divorce.
One 2006 study by sociologist Lynn Prince Cooke showed that couples who shared household and income-earning duties 50/50 reduced their risk of divorce by 50 percent compared to the average divorce risk rate. On the contrary, for more traditional families where only the man worked outside the home, the risk of divorce climbed to 13 percent above average.
In addition to lowering the risk of divorce, two working partners also means you can enjoy the benefits of earning two incomes. If a family relies on the husband’s income alone, then he can’t afford to lose it – even if he hates his work. Having two incomes eases the pressure and offers both partners a chance to find work they really love.
-
Working women are healthier and wealthier.
As a woman, does the idea of staying at home and curling up with a good book while your husband goes out to work seem like a dream setup? Not so fast. If you believe there’s nothing better than being a stay-at-home mom, here are a few points to consider:
For starters, women who work are independent.
Stay-at-home moms told the authors that their husbands set budgets for them and supervised their expenditures. Of course, that seriously minimizes independence. Working to earn your own money is a powerful thing, especially with regards to your own specific needs and desires; needs and desires that your husband might not understand your spending money on!
More importantly, though, working and earning your own money is the only path to being financially independent.
This is especially important for widows. As a 2004 study at the Boston Center for Retirement Research found, women face a 50 percent drop in their living standards after the death of their husband.
In addition to being financially more secure, women who work are both physically and psychologically healthier.
One UK research study spanning 50 years revealed that stay-at-home moms were the most likely women to experience poor physical health. Conversely, women who combined the three roles of wife, mother and worker enjoyed the best physical health.
Furthermore, a 1989 study found a 30 percent increase in psychological issues such as depression in women who concentrated only on their home, and not, for example, on work.
So it seems that, in general, women who participate more equally in their family’s responsibilities are better off – especially when it comes to working outside the home. And yet there’s still disproportionately few of them in offices. Let’s take a look at three myths that are blocking women’s progress.
-
Myth #1: Mothers are incompetent and want to work less after they have children.
If you’re an expectant mother or have recently had a baby, you may have been confronted with some aggravating comments along the lines of “Well, say goodbye to all your big career plans.”
Sadly, when it comes to work, people don’t have a lot of confidence in mothers.
A Princeton study in 2004 showed that mothers were generally perceived to be very nice, but not very competent. In the study, students had to rate fictional characters as potential clients for a consultancy firm. Among the characters were Kate and Dan, identical character profiles with the exception of their gender. They were both described as new parents working from home. So how did the students rank them? Kate was evaluated as the least competent of all the candidates, while Dan was ranked as one of the best.
Why? One reason could be that mothers don’t challenge the assumption that they must want to stop working once they start a family.
When women have children, employers often presuppose that new mothers want to cut down to part-time work. As a result, they receive less responsibility, lower status and reduced pay.
Often, instead of confronting their employer, new mothers jump ship and try to get a better job where they can continue to do work they enjoy. But the problem is that by jumping ship, they never confront their boss, and the myth endures.
So what can you do as a mother? Well, before changing jobs, you can stand up for yourself.
One woman – a political science professor – didn’t receive parental leave after her first child was born. Later, upon researching the university policy, she found out that she was indeed entitled to parental leave. So when she became pregnant with her second child, she requested leave not only for the current pregnancy, but retroactively for the first.
Because of her assertiveness, she was granted all the leave she was owed.
-
Myth #2: In order to be successful, you need to work around the clock.
You’re having a heart attack and need to be operated on immediately. A respected surgeon is available, but she’s been working for 16 hours without a break. Would you put your life in the hands of someone so fatigued and overworked?
Probably not, and you’d be right not to! Overworking can be dangerous.
Studies carried out on truck drivers and nuclear plant workers revealed that shifts over six to eight hours lead to more mistakes – and can be extremely unsafe. Studies have also shown that hospital interns working 30-hour shifts were six times more likely to deliver a false diagnosis, and made 60 percent more medical mistakes than interns who worked more manageable shifts.
It’s not only safer for employees to avoid overworking, it’s also good for a company’s bottom line.
Electronics retail company Best Buy lost many of its employees due to their grueling working hours. To remedy the situation, they implemented a program where employees could set their own hours instead of adhering to a fixed schedule. This reduced employee turnover and boosted productivity.
So how does this all relate to working parents?
Mothers can eradicate this myth that only the people who work insane hours are valuable employees. A mother can convince her boss to focus on achievements, not on working hours.
One female employee at a security firm asked to work part-time for four days a week. Her boss initially refused, but she vouched that she would make as much money for the company as she had when she was working full time, so they agreed to let her try. Eventually, her boss had to admit that she was outperforming her peers, even though she was working fewer hours than they were.
-
Myth #3: Women and men are treated equally in the workplace.
Some of us observe more traditional couples and wonder: why is she cooking for him all the time? Why is he taking her housework for granted? Unfortunately, sexism and gender stereotyping die hard – and it’s the same at work.
Inequality in the office is alive and well, but thankfully, some progress has been made.
For the most part, company structures are male-dominated, and when a manager is hiring, he typically looks for someone he has a lot in common with – as in another man. So in order for a hiring manager to hire a woman, she needs to be not only equally competent, but superior to a male competitor.
When the University of Michigan recognized that despite having many female Ph.D. candidates, almost none were moving on to secure a faculty job after finishing their dissertation, they resolved to make a change. They tutored their hiring panels. They showed studies demonstrating that women had to be superior to male candidates to be considered for employment.
Consequently, women in faculty positions increased from 14 percent to 30 percent.
The best part is, hiring more women isn’t just a short-term solution. Once there are enough women in a position of influence, the system will self-regulate.
Still, inequality is sometimes reinforced by a tendency of women not to stand up for themselves.
Take professional tennis, for example. Since 2006, tennis players at the U.S. Open have been able to challenge an umpire’s decision a limited number of times per match. Some 30 percent of the challenges are successful. But the women have challenged umpire decisions only half as often as the men!
Simply put: not speaking up harms women professionally.
In the last three chapters, we’ll look at ways in which women and men can get closer to a 50/50 solution.
-
Collaboration between partners is crucial to a fair partnership.
Picture a happy couple from the 1950s. The husband comes home from work, his wife welcomes him with a home-cooked meal, and later they probably watch hours of TV.
Today, the scene is different. The husband gets home after 9 pm, exhausted, and goes straight to bed, too exhausted to hold a conversation with his partner.
Not surprisingly, neither wife nor husband wants this kind of life.
Michael Elliott, the author of Men Want Change Too, says he also wanted the 50/50 dream of sharing responsibility with his partner. But after their children were born, his wife gave up her career and took on part-time work to free up time to care for the children. In turn, Elliott worked more intensively, first because he enjoyed it, but then because they needed the money.
So how do couples avoid taking a wrong turn? To avoid falling into traditional gender traps, both partners have to think ahead and stay adaptable.
But this takes a bit of work. Take Sharon and Steve, a young couple who sought counselling to deal with their relationship. Steve argued that women were naturally more nurturing and should therefore be the primary caregivers during the early years of a baby’s life; Sharon wanted both of them to be equal caregivers. Through the counseling, they agreed that what appeared to be natural wasn’t always the answer, and that an equal distribution of responsibilities would be healthier for their relationship.
They also worked through other potential problems, such as what would happen if one of them began earning considerably more than the other. They established that they would both still take on half of the housework.
Thinking ahead in this way made it much easier to live 50/50, because it heightened their awareness of traditional roles that can so easily creep up on a relationship – and threaten to tear it apart.
-
Fight for your maternity leave and make sure you have a job to come back to.
Consider how aristocratic women of the past dealt with their children: no sooner had they given birth than the infant was handed over to the nanny so the lady of the house could return to her social obligations.
New mothers these days aren’t desperate for a full-time nanny from day one so that they can socialize, but they could certainly benefit from some support from the state.
Incredibly, maternity leave is still not guaranteed for all working mothers. Even in the US, it’s not mandatory to give new mothers paid leave. Knowing that you won’t be able to take sufficient time off work to recover from childbirth and care for the newborn – that’s a strong incentive to quit your job!
Thankfully, though, society is making headway. In 2004, California granted women paid leave for up to 55 percent of their wages for six weeks after giving birth. Although it leaves much to be improved, California at least recognizes that women are an integral part of the workforce and that paid maternity leave is necessary to ensure women remain in their jobs.
If you’re an expectant mother, it helps to make it clear you’re coming back to work before you take your leave.
Male superiors are often unfamiliar with motherhood and may be concerned if mothers display uncertainty about their future plans. So have a plan before talking to your boss about your pregnancy. Make sure they hear about it directly from you, and do your homework on maternity leave. You should know what you’re entitled to – even if they don’t.
Most importantly, make it clear that you plan to return to work as soon as possible. You can even let your boss know what date you can be expected back in the office. That way, you’ll reassure your boss. You’ll be making it obvious that work really is important to you, and that you’re looking forward to coming back to the office!
-
To get to 50/50, both men and women need a lot of support.
Getting to 50/50 means actively encouraging fathers. You know those overprotective moms who chastise their husbands, even when they’re just trying to help? Don’t be that person. Failing to encourage the father will only steer him away from engaging with his children.
You can support your husband by acknowledging the various ways of caring for your children.
It might drive you crazy if your husband uses a different hold to comfort your screaming baby, for example. Or your blood might boil at the number of wipes he wastes when changing a diaper. But remember, each unsolicited piece of advice you offer can seriously diminish his motivation.
Remember, too, that your way of doing things isn’t the only or best way to do them.
One study in the 1960s found that fathers are just as good at caregiving as mothers. For instance, in the study, babies drank as much milk when the father held the bottle as the mother, and fathers were just as capable at figuring out what to do when their child was upset or needed burping.
But men can also do their bit to support mothers. All men, for example, should be kinder to them when they return to the workplace.
While maternity leave plays a critical role in retaining female employees, showing empathy and patience when the mother returns to work will help her to get resituated. The women the authors talked to said that the first few months of juggling a job and a baby are the toughest, but if the boss is supportive during this time, it makes for a far smoother transition.
-
We aren’t forced to play out the traditional housewife-businessman roles of the generations before us. By planning ahead, talking through disagreements and divvying up responsibilities fairly, couples can enjoy a healthy, equal partnership.
Actionable advice:
Leave your husband alone with the baby.
If you’re a wife and mother, prove that your baby can survive without you by leaving it with your husband! This way, he can demonstrate his capabilities as a caregiver. If you don’t give him a chance to develop a relationship with the baby, you’re in no position to complain when you end up stuck with all the baby duties yourself.
Here’s a question for the fathers out there: when was the last time you took out the trash without being asked to? How often did you offer to look after the kids, to give your partner a break?
Hopefully that’s not too hard to answer.
Nevertheless, men and women still don’t enjoy equal rights – neither at home nor at work. But we hardly hear anything about what steps can be taken in order to enjoy the benefits of a 50/50 life. A 50/50 life is a life in which partners equally share the responsibilities of childcare, work life and each other.
What you’ll find out is that an equal division of tasks is totally possible and, actually, it’s the best way to have happy and healthy children, maintain physical and mental health and enjoy a healthy relationship (including sex life!).
-
Childcare doesn’t hurt your family – it can help you spend more quality time with your children.
Remember Julie Andrews in Mary Poppins, flying into the Banks’ home, making everything prim, proper and perfect? All parents wish they could have that ability, but more than ever, families are struggling to find the best way to care for their home and children. Many rely on childcare, and fear accusations that they’re lazy or bad parents.
Some parents even believe that childcare can hurt their children’s development. But contrary to what you may have been told, childcare on a part-time basis does no harm to the well-being of your children.
In fact, 15 years of research carried out by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development revealed no difference in emotional well-being between children who spent all their time under their parent’s supervision, and children who spent part of their time in childcare. It’s the proportion of time that matters. So if you overdo it with childcare, it may have unfavorable effects on your children, such as an increase in tantrums.
But seeking out extra help should never make you feel like an inattentive parent. Actually, today’s children generally aren’t attention-deprived. Sociologist Suzanne Bianchi from the University of Maryland found that mothers and fathers spent more time with their children in 2000 than they did in 1965.
Also, don’t forget that the quality of your parenting time outweighs the quantity of it.
Mothers who stay at home don’t spend much more time interacting actively with their children than mothers who work outside of the home. A Texas University study showed that mothers who worked outside the home shared only 20 percent less social activity with their children than stay-at-home mothers.
Stay-at-home mothers sometimes don’t appreciate the extra time they have with their children, whereas working mothers tend to cherish the bedtime stories and bathtime they can share.
-
Both partners enjoy many benefits when the wife works outside the home.
Some men fantasize about coming home from work to find their wife in a sexy outfit, dishing up a home-cooked meal. But really, husbands and wives are happier and more interested in one another when they both work outside the home. They also have stronger relationships and more sex.
Studies show that after the birth of a child, husbands and wives tend to disengage and gravitate away from each other if the mother stays home and the father goes to work. This is because they lead entirely different lives and don’t have much in common.
But when they share responsibility – like if the father helps with household chores and the mother works outside the home – partners are more attracted to one another.
A 2006 survey found that the more household chores the husband was willing to assume, the better his sex life was with his wife. And the more hours a wife worked outside the home, the more sex she had with her husband.
What’s more, sharing the household duties and the breadwinning can protect a marriage from divorce.
One 2006 study by sociologist Lynn Prince Cooke showed that couples who shared household and income-earning duties 50/50 reduced their risk of divorce by 50 percent compared to the average divorce risk rate. On the contrary, for more traditional families where only the man worked outside the home, the risk of divorce climbed to 13 percent above average.
In addition to lowering the risk of divorce, two working partners also means you can enjoy the benefits of earning two incomes. If a family relies on the husband’s income alone, then he can’t afford to lose it – even if he hates his work. Having two incomes eases the pressure and offers both partners a chance to find work they really love.
-
Working women are healthier and wealthier.
As a woman, does the idea of staying at home and curling up with a good book while your husband goes out to work seem like a dream setup? Not so fast. If you believe there’s nothing better than being a stay-at-home mom, here are a few points to consider:
For starters, women who work are independent.
Stay-at-home moms told the authors that their husbands set budgets for them and supervised their expenditures. Of course, that seriously minimizes independence. Working to earn your own money is a powerful thing, especially with regards to your own specific needs and desires; needs and desires that your husband might not understand your spending money on!
More importantly, though, working and earning your own money is the only path to being financially independent.
This is especially important for widows. As a 2004 study at the Boston Center for Retirement Research found, women face a 50 percent drop in their living standards after the death of their husband.
In addition to being financially more secure, women who work are both physically and psychologically healthier.
One UK research study spanning 50 years revealed that stay-at-home moms were the most likely women to experience poor physical health. Conversely, women who combined the three roles of wife, mother and worker enjoyed the best physical health.
Furthermore, a 1989 study found a 30 percent increase in psychological issues such as depression in women who concentrated only on their home, and not, for example, on work.
So it seems that, in general, women who participate more equally in their family’s responsibilities are better off – especially when it comes to working outside the home. And yet there’s still disproportionately few of them in offices. Let’s take a look at three myths that are blocking women’s progress.
-
Myth #1: Mothers are incompetent and want to work less after they have children.
If you’re an expectant mother or have recently had a baby, you may have been confronted with some aggravating comments along the lines of “Well, say goodbye to all your big career plans.”
Sadly, when it comes to work, people don’t have a lot of confidence in mothers.
A Princeton study in 2004 showed that mothers were generally perceived to be very nice, but not very competent. In the study, students had to rate fictional characters as potential clients for a consultancy firm. Among the characters were Kate and Dan, identical character profiles with the exception of their gender. They were both described as new parents working from home. So how did the students rank them? Kate was evaluated as the least competent of all the candidates, while Dan was ranked as one of the best.
Why? One reason could be that mothers don’t challenge the assumption that they must want to stop working once they start a family.
When women have children, employers often presuppose that new mothers want to cut down to part-time work. As a result, they receive less responsibility, lower status and reduced pay.
Often, instead of confronting their employer, new mothers jump ship and try to get a better job where they can continue to do work they enjoy. But the problem is that by jumping ship, they never confront their boss, and the myth endures.
So what can you do as a mother? Well, before changing jobs, you can stand up for yourself.
One woman – a political science professor – didn’t receive parental leave after her first child was born. Later, upon researching the university policy, she found out that she was indeed entitled to parental leave. So when she became pregnant with her second child, she requested leave not only for the current pregnancy, but retroactively for the first.
Because of her assertiveness, she was granted all the leave she was owed.
-
Myth #2: In order to be successful, you need to work around the clock.
You’re having a heart attack and need to be operated on immediately. A respected surgeon is available, but she’s been working for 16 hours without a break. Would you put your life in the hands of someone so fatigued and overworked?
Probably not, and you’d be right not to! Overworking can be dangerous.
Studies carried out on truck drivers and nuclear plant workers revealed that shifts over six to eight hours lead to more mistakes – and can be extremely unsafe. Studies have also shown that hospital interns working 30-hour shifts were six times more likely to deliver a false diagnosis, and made 60 percent more medical mistakes than interns who worked more manageable shifts.
It’s not only safer for employees to avoid overworking, it’s also good for a company’s bottom line.
Electronics retail company Best Buy lost many of its employees due to their grueling working hours. To remedy the situation, they implemented a program where employees could set their own hours instead of adhering to a fixed schedule. This reduced employee turnover and boosted productivity.
So how does this all relate to working parents?
Mothers can eradicate this myth that only the people who work insane hours are valuable employees. A mother can convince her boss to focus on achievements, not on working hours.
One female employee at a security firm asked to work part-time for four days a week. Her boss initially refused, but she vouched that she would make as much money for the company as she had when she was working full time, so they agreed to let her try. Eventually, her boss had to admit that she was outperforming her peers, even though she was working fewer hours than they were.
-
Myth #3: Women and men are treated equally in the workplace.
Some of us observe more traditional couples and wonder: why is she cooking for him all the time? Why is he taking her housework for granted? Unfortunately, sexism and gender stereotyping die hard – and it’s the same at work.
Inequality in the office is alive and well, but thankfully, some progress has been made.
For the most part, company structures are male-dominated, and when a manager is hiring, he typically looks for someone he has a lot in common with – as in another man. So in order for a hiring manager to hire a woman, she needs to be not only equally competent, but superior to a male competitor.
When the University of Michigan recognized that despite having many female Ph.D. candidates, almost none were moving on to secure a faculty job after finishing their dissertation, they resolved to make a change. They tutored their hiring panels. They showed studies demonstrating that women had to be superior to male candidates to be considered for employment.
Consequently, women in faculty positions increased from 14 percent to 30 percent.
The best part is, hiring more women isn’t just a short-term solution. Once there are enough women in a position of influence, the system will self-regulate.
Still, inequality is sometimes reinforced by a tendency of women not to stand up for themselves.
Take professional tennis, for example. Since 2006, tennis players at the U.S. Open have been able to challenge an umpire’s decision a limited number of times per match. Some 30 percent of the challenges are successful. But the women have challenged umpire decisions only half as often as the men!
Simply put: not speaking up harms women professionally.
In the last three chapters, we’ll look at ways in which women and men can get closer to a 50/50 solution.
-
Collaboration between partners is crucial to a fair partnership.
Picture a happy couple from the 1950s. The husband comes home from work, his wife welcomes him with a home-cooked meal, and later they probably watch hours of TV.
Today, the scene is different. The husband gets home after 9 pm, exhausted, and goes straight to bed, too exhausted to hold a conversation with his partner.
Not surprisingly, neither wife nor husband wants this kind of life.
Michael Elliott, the author of Men Want Change Too, says he also wanted the 50/50 dream of sharing responsibility with his partner. But after their children were born, his wife gave up her career and took on part-time work to free up time to care for the children. In turn, Elliott worked more intensively, first because he enjoyed it, but then because they needed the money.
So how do couples avoid taking a wrong turn? To avoid falling into traditional gender traps, both partners have to think ahead and stay adaptable.
But this takes a bit of work. Take Sharon and Steve, a young couple who sought counselling to deal with their relationship. Steve argued that women were naturally more nurturing and should therefore be the primary caregivers during the early years of a baby’s life; Sharon wanted both of them to be equal caregivers. Through the counseling, they agreed that what appeared to be natural wasn’t always the answer, and that an equal distribution of responsibilities would be healthier for their relationship.
They also worked through other potential problems, such as what would happen if one of them began earning considerably more than the other. They established that they would both still take on half of the housework.
Thinking ahead in this way made it much easier to live 50/50, because it heightened their awareness of traditional roles that can so easily creep up on a relationship – and threaten to tear it apart.
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Fight for your maternity leave and make sure you have a job to come back to.
Consider how aristocratic women of the past dealt with their children: no sooner had they given birth than the infant was handed over to the nanny so the lady of the house could return to her social obligations.
New mothers these days aren’t desperate for a full-time nanny from day one so that they can socialize, but they could certainly benefit from some support from the state.
Incredibly, maternity leave is still not guaranteed for all working mothers. Even in the US, it’s not mandatory to give new mothers paid leave. Knowing that you won’t be able to take sufficient time off work to recover from childbirth and care for the newborn – that’s a strong incentive to quit your job!
Thankfully, though, society is making headway. In 2004, California granted women paid leave for up to 55 percent of their wages for six weeks after giving birth. Although it leaves much to be improved, California at least recognizes that women are an integral part of the workforce and that paid maternity leave is necessary to ensure women remain in their jobs.
If you’re an expectant mother, it helps to make it clear you’re coming back to work before you take your leave.
Male superiors are often unfamiliar with motherhood and may be concerned if mothers display uncertainty about their future plans. So have a plan before talking to your boss about your pregnancy. Make sure they hear about it directly from you, and do your homework on maternity leave. You should know what you’re entitled to – even if they don’t.
Most importantly, make it clear that you plan to return to work as soon as possible. You can even let your boss know what date you can be expected back in the office. That way, you’ll reassure your boss. You’ll be making it obvious that work really is important to you, and that you’re looking forward to coming back to the office!
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To get to 50/50, both men and women need a lot of support.
Getting to 50/50 means actively encouraging fathers. You know those overprotective moms who chastise their husbands, even when they’re just trying to help? Don’t be that person. Failing to encourage the father will only steer him away from engaging with his children.
You can support your husband by acknowledging the various ways of caring for your children.
It might drive you crazy if your husband uses a different hold to comfort your screaming baby, for example. Or your blood might boil at the number of wipes he wastes when changing a diaper. But remember, each unsolicited piece of advice you offer can seriously diminish his motivation.
Remember, too, that your way of doing things isn’t the only or best way to do them.
One study in the 1960s found that fathers are just as good at caregiving as mothers. For instance, in the study, babies drank as much milk when the father held the bottle as the mother, and fathers were just as capable at figuring out what to do when their child was upset or needed burping.
But men can also do their bit to support mothers. All men, for example, should be kinder to them when they return to the workplace.
While maternity leave plays a critical role in retaining female employees, showing empathy and patience when the mother returns to work will help her to get resituated. The women the authors talked to said that the first few months of juggling a job and a baby are the toughest, but if the boss is supportive during this time, it makes for a far smoother transition.
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We aren’t forced to play out the traditional housewife-businessman roles of the generations before us. By planning ahead, talking through disagreements and divvying up responsibilities fairly, couples can enjoy a healthy, equal partnership.
Actionable advice:
Leave your husband alone with the baby.
If you’re a wife and mother, prove that your baby can survive without you by leaving it with your husband! This way, he can demonstrate his capabilities as a caregiver. If you don’t give him a chance to develop a relationship with the baby, you’re in no position to complain when you end up stuck with all the baby duties yourself.
November 23, 2013
Getting to 50'50 is written for working parents, trying to juggle home and family. It's primary objective is to aid parents in a working an acceptable solution to the problems that evolve when both parents try to build their careers without neglecting their children in any way.
The book is divided in to three parts. Part one entails the virtues of having both parents working. Part two centers on getting rid of "myths" about both parents working. Part three suggests ways to make the 50/50 theory work in one's own situation.
While many good points are made in each section, in my opinion, it is too utopian.
The positive side...In rare cases this system could work. For an increasing amount of single parents, this book can offer helpful ideas and reduce the amount of parental guilt the single parent often feels. It could be used as a guideline in finding help through a child care assistant. Another positive point is, there is still inequality in the work force. A woman is often not given equal pay for the same work a man does. In some instance a woman is still passed over for promotions, simply because she is a woman. As stated in the book, this situation has improved greatly since the movement in the 6o's and 70's but it is still there. The final positive point, I find, is that although the problem is increasingly diminishing, men still are under the misconception that their work is outside the home and the home and children are the wife's/mother's responsibility. This idea had some merit when men and boys worked the fields and did outside chores before dawn until after dark. They worked very hard, physical labor and required hearty meals and a little relaxation which often entailed reading the bible or other stories to the families encircled about them - either father, mother, or an older sibling. Then exhausted, thy all fell into bed for much needed slumber. Te women taught the daughters from young toddlers to do their share of the household work. That was a strong family unit.
The negative side... First: There are too many situations in life causing 50/50 not to work. Perhaps a spouse develops health issues. Their strength and endurance will not match the other spouses. often one spouse is capable of more because of higher energy levels. Secondly:Often the two marry when both are still earning degrees. Often one must quit school and work while the other pursues their degree. Hopefully, once that happens, he/she will then work extra hard to enable the other too continue their education. Sometimes a child is born, causing the mother to quit the schooling for a period of time. If the husband is working up the "corporate ladder" he cannot be expected to take over child care also, if there are not funds to hire a nanny to help. (That can also prove disastrous.) Final negative, It may be fine from a woman's point of view, but as stated in the book, most men do not have the same nurturing instincts and capabilities most women have - I say most because there are exception to the basic rule. I thoroughly believe the father should have an active role in the physical care and nurturing of each child. but primarily the woman is usually more effective in this role.
It is marvelous, however, in this day and age, many parents can stay at home and still be employed. I feel this is especially true for women who feel they need the extra distraction from the daily duties of motherhood. It allows them to pursue a career from home and still "be there" for their children. It also allows them to better control of the times they need to be other places. Marriage is sometimes 20/80 and other times 60/40. depending on certain situations one has to carry the larger load and in other times he/she will then carry the lesser load. Anyway, hoe many men/women actually end up in the career he/she majored in at college?
I think this is a good reference book. Although the authors try to appear to be objective, it is very biased toward encouraging all women to be career oriented. It is also way to "wordy" and t times repetitive.
They have good intentions and went to a lot of research to solidify their points. I therefore, have to give them a book review rating of Three solid Stars.
I won this through a The Library Thing giveaway and was asked for an honest review, of which I have given.
The book is divided in to three parts. Part one entails the virtues of having both parents working. Part two centers on getting rid of "myths" about both parents working. Part three suggests ways to make the 50/50 theory work in one's own situation.
While many good points are made in each section, in my opinion, it is too utopian.
The positive side...In rare cases this system could work. For an increasing amount of single parents, this book can offer helpful ideas and reduce the amount of parental guilt the single parent often feels. It could be used as a guideline in finding help through a child care assistant. Another positive point is, there is still inequality in the work force. A woman is often not given equal pay for the same work a man does. In some instance a woman is still passed over for promotions, simply because she is a woman. As stated in the book, this situation has improved greatly since the movement in the 6o's and 70's but it is still there. The final positive point, I find, is that although the problem is increasingly diminishing, men still are under the misconception that their work is outside the home and the home and children are the wife's/mother's responsibility. This idea had some merit when men and boys worked the fields and did outside chores before dawn until after dark. They worked very hard, physical labor and required hearty meals and a little relaxation which often entailed reading the bible or other stories to the families encircled about them - either father, mother, or an older sibling. Then exhausted, thy all fell into bed for much needed slumber. Te women taught the daughters from young toddlers to do their share of the household work. That was a strong family unit.
The negative side... First: There are too many situations in life causing 50/50 not to work. Perhaps a spouse develops health issues. Their strength and endurance will not match the other spouses. often one spouse is capable of more because of higher energy levels. Secondly:Often the two marry when both are still earning degrees. Often one must quit school and work while the other pursues their degree. Hopefully, once that happens, he/she will then work extra hard to enable the other too continue their education. Sometimes a child is born, causing the mother to quit the schooling for a period of time. If the husband is working up the "corporate ladder" he cannot be expected to take over child care also, if there are not funds to hire a nanny to help. (That can also prove disastrous.) Final negative, It may be fine from a woman's point of view, but as stated in the book, most men do not have the same nurturing instincts and capabilities most women have - I say most because there are exception to the basic rule. I thoroughly believe the father should have an active role in the physical care and nurturing of each child. but primarily the woman is usually more effective in this role.
It is marvelous, however, in this day and age, many parents can stay at home and still be employed. I feel this is especially true for women who feel they need the extra distraction from the daily duties of motherhood. It allows them to pursue a career from home and still "be there" for their children. It also allows them to better control of the times they need to be other places. Marriage is sometimes 20/80 and other times 60/40. depending on certain situations one has to carry the larger load and in other times he/she will then carry the lesser load. Anyway, hoe many men/women actually end up in the career he/she majored in at college?
I think this is a good reference book. Although the authors try to appear to be objective, it is very biased toward encouraging all women to be career oriented. It is also way to "wordy" and t times repetitive.
They have good intentions and went to a lot of research to solidify their points. I therefore, have to give them a book review rating of Three solid Stars.
I won this through a The Library Thing giveaway and was asked for an honest review, of which I have given.
June 10, 2012
Must read for all women who are or ever plan to be in a relationship and/or have children. This book explores all the reasons why women leave the workplace after having children (or even before having children), and tackles each one with a non-judgemental, almost academic approach. The anecdotes scattered throughout the book provide creative, inspiring examples of how to juggle things based on your own values and career ambitions.
Having grown up without an example of a working mom, this book provided me much needed perspective on how to assert your needs in both a relationship and the workplace, and work toward a balanced relationship with shared responsibilities for all household duties.
Highly recommend for anyone who thinks they even might want to have both kids and a career - regardless of how close they are to having kids, or even if they already have them.
Having grown up without an example of a working mom, this book provided me much needed perspective on how to assert your needs in both a relationship and the workplace, and work toward a balanced relationship with shared responsibilities for all household duties.
Highly recommend for anyone who thinks they even might want to have both kids and a career - regardless of how close they are to having kids, or even if they already have them.
July 13, 2012
Pg 38: "When wives don't pay their way, men often pay a price" was my sticking point. I kept reading, all the while becoming more consumed by anger at the feminist position women authors.
It truly seemed like the main theme surrounding this book was that moms that stay home sit around doing nothing all day. I get that this type of book might be encouragement for career moms to stick the course and remain a two income household. But, for this stay home mom, it was excruciatingly alienating!
The other thing I did manage to get from this book was the documentation on how good it is for kids to have lots of quality time with their dad...so I guess my family is doing at least one thing right in the authors eyes.
It truly seemed like the main theme surrounding this book was that moms that stay home sit around doing nothing all day. I get that this type of book might be encouragement for career moms to stick the course and remain a two income household. But, for this stay home mom, it was excruciatingly alienating!
The other thing I did manage to get from this book was the documentation on how good it is for kids to have lots of quality time with their dad...so I guess my family is doing at least one thing right in the authors eyes.
February 8, 2014
There are some good ideas in here about parents parenting equally, but it annoys me that it is written toward women and the reality that women need to take on even more to start pushing their spouses to take on more. Are there books written by men for men about how to get your spouse to contribute?
Also, it feels there is a lot of advice for women who may have bosses that don't understand being parents, which fortunately doesn't apply to me.
Also, it feels there is a lot of advice for women who may have bosses that don't understand being parents, which fortunately doesn't apply to me.
December 16, 2013
It might be a great book for married, working parents. For a single parent, I felt this book didn't have much to offer me.
May 15, 2021
Bài viết chỉ là quan điểm thiển cận của mình sau một ngày với một quyển sách hay, với mong muốn ai cũng được sống hạnh phúc.
3h sáng.
Mình về phòng. Đói bụng, thèm một bát mì. Mọi thứ đã chuẩn bị sẵn sàng, chỉ đợi nước sôi. Sau hơn 20 phút nấu nước, mình nhìn lại thì ấm nước bị hỏng. Mì thì đã đổ sẵn ra bát. Cũng hơi nản. Nhưng cứ nghĩ đến bố là một kỹ sư lành nghề thì mình cho rằng đây là một sự xấu hổ.
"Mình phải sửa nó."
Thế là loay hoay lấy tua vít với kềm mở ấm ra. Mấy cái ấm này đúng là thảm hoạ. Bên ngoài đẹp đẽ, nhưng trong ruột chẳng có gì, đơn sơ như bát cháo hành. Đáy ấm cháy đen, dây điện thì đã mục nát cả. Vì đói bụng, mình gắng ngồi nối lại, nhưng cứ chạm đến đâu thì mục ra đến đấy. May là cuối cùng cũng xong.
Ấm sáng đèn. Mì thơm phức. Bụng no nê.
Đến trưa, đặt tặng mẹ bó hoa hồng. Cô bạn cũ quen từ hồi tiểu học nhiệt tình, giúp mình nhiều lắm. Ba mẹ cũng đều thích bó hoa. Tự nhiên mình cũng thấy vui. Chiêm nghiệm thêm được nhiều điều về gia đình (của người chưa có gia đình).
Getting to 50/50 đưa ra một quan điểm đơn giản để xây dựng gia đình: "Cuộc sống 50/50 là khi hai người bạn đời chia sẻ cân bằng với nhau về mọi vấn đề trong cuộc sống". Nghe thì đơn giản thật, nhưng hai tác giả cãi nhau to, nảy ra bao nhiêu là vấn đề.
THẾ NÀO LÀ CÂN BẰNG?
Là một người vừa ủng hộ cân bằng giới, vừa tôn trọng sự khác biệt các đặc điểm giới, đôi lúc mình thấy thật khó để đưa ra quyết định "cân bằng" cho một tập thể. Khái niệm cân bằng, chính nó lại có những nét không cân bằng. Không cân bằng không những không phủ định, trái lại còn làm hài hoà thêm sự cân bằng.
Một lớp học với 50 nam và 50 nữ sắp chụp ảnh kỷ yếu, cần người khiêng vài cái bàn học ra sân trường để làm phông nền và cũng cần người trang điểm. Lựa chọn thường được đưa ra theo mình là hợp lý, nhưng nó có cân bằng không? Mình chịu.
Trong gia đình, đàn ông đến từ sao Hoả, đàn bà đến từ sao Kim. Não bộ đàn ông tập trung, lý trí, tìm giải pháp. Não bộ phụ nữ phân tán, giàu cảm xúc, cần được lắng nghe.
Em có thể nói chuyện cùng anh trong khi đang vừa nấu ăn vừa xem Next Top Model để coi tập này có gì hot. Vậy mà tại sao lúc anh đang ngồi làm việc (chẳng làm gì thêm), anh lại gạt em đi? Em chỉ cần anh lắng nghe, anh đưa giải pháp làm gì? Bị trừ lương, anh đang lo lắng tìm cách gỡ lại, còn em thấy anh với khuôn mặt trắng bệch vô cảm thì lại nghĩ anh có cô nào. Khổ thế.
Con gái mà, sáng nắng, chiều mưa, tối âm u, khuya bão khẩn cấp là chuyện bình thường.
ĐÀN ÔNG CÓ CẢM XÚC KHÔNG?
Cách đây vài năm, mình nghe một bài nhạc của Thái Lan. Nhạc cũng không có gì đặc biệt, nhưng tiêu đề hay: "Anh cũng sống, cũng biết nghĩ, biết đau". Vì sự lý trí, mạnh mẽ với nhiều giải pháp tuyệt vời của não trái, người ta quên rằng đàn ông cũng là con người. Cảm xúc nói cho cùng chỉ là sự biến đổi của hormones trong con người. Có điều, cách biểu lộ cảm xúc hai giới khác nhau xa. Trong gia đình, người bố hay bị bỏ quên vì cứ mắng mỏ, nổi giận, đánh đòn. Phụ nữ hy sinh thầm lặng rất nhiều, nhưng hy sinh của người đàn ông cho gia đình cũng rất thầm lặng. Mình chưa có gia đình, nhưng mình đã dần thấu hiểu hơn sau rất nhiều thời gian nghĩ về bố.
PHỤ NỮ CÓ GIỎI GIẮN KHÔNG?
Giỏi giắn (competent) ở đây có thể hiểu thiên về não trái. Vì được nhìn nhận với cảm xúc dồi dào, đôi khi phụ nữ bị đối xử bất công. Chẳng hạn có những nghiên cứu cho thấy người sếp thường nghĩ phụ nữ muốn giảm giờ làm/nghỉ việc sau khi sinh con để chăm lo gia đình, do đó họ thường ít được sếp tín nhiệm hơm, dù cho hiệu suất công việc vẫn vậy hoặc thậm chí là tốt hơn trước sinh. Vì sếp ít tín nhiệm, họ bỏ việc để đi tìm công việc khác tốt hơn, nhưng sếp lại hiểu rằng "đúng là họ muốn bỏ việc thật". Lâu dần, điều này trở thành kinh nghiệm và thành cách để xã hội vận hành.
Còn nhiều suy nghĩ trong đầu quá, nhưng viết hơi dài rồi...
Ba lời khuyên từ sách (dựa trên bằng chứng) để có cuộc sống 50/50, có gia đình êm ấm, hạnh phúc:
1. Phụ nữ hãy dành thời gian riêng cho bố và con để dần có niềm tin rằng bố con vẫn ổn nếu mẹ đi vắng. Đàn ông cũng nên ủng hộ, lắng nghe, động viên người phụ nữ trong công việc xã hội hằng ngày.
2. Thời gian chơi với con là rất quan trọng và cần thiết, nhưng chất lượng mỗi buổi quan trọng hơn rất nhiều. Ở nhà với con cả hai mươi bốn tiếng chưa chắc hiệu quả so với việc chỉ chơi với bé trong vài tiếng buổi tối, miễn là đúng cách.
3. Chia sẻ thẳng thắn, đồng cảm từ hai phía là cốt lõi.
Mình là người chưa có gia đình. Thật cảm ơn tác giả vì đã dạy cho mình nhiều điều bổ ích.
3h sáng.
Mình về phòng. Đói bụng, thèm một bát mì. Mọi thứ đã chuẩn bị sẵn sàng, chỉ đợi nước sôi. Sau hơn 20 phút nấu nước, mình nhìn lại thì ấm nước bị hỏng. Mì thì đã đổ sẵn ra bát. Cũng hơi nản. Nhưng cứ nghĩ đến bố là một kỹ sư lành nghề thì mình cho rằng đây là một sự xấu hổ.
"Mình phải sửa nó."
Thế là loay hoay lấy tua vít với kềm mở ấm ra. Mấy cái ấm này đúng là thảm hoạ. Bên ngoài đẹp đẽ, nhưng trong ruột chẳng có gì, đơn sơ như bát cháo hành. Đáy ấm cháy đen, dây điện thì đã mục nát cả. Vì đói bụng, mình gắng ngồi nối lại, nhưng cứ chạm đến đâu thì mục ra đến đấy. May là cuối cùng cũng xong.
Ấm sáng đèn. Mì thơm phức. Bụng no nê.
Đến trưa, đặt tặng mẹ bó hoa hồng. Cô bạn cũ quen từ hồi tiểu học nhiệt tình, giúp mình nhiều lắm. Ba mẹ cũng đều thích bó hoa. Tự nhiên mình cũng thấy vui. Chiêm nghiệm thêm được nhiều điều về gia đình (của người chưa có gia đình).
Getting to 50/50 đưa ra một quan điểm đơn giản để xây dựng gia đình: "Cuộc sống 50/50 là khi hai người bạn đời chia sẻ cân bằng với nhau về mọi vấn đề trong cuộc sống". Nghe thì đơn giản thật, nhưng hai tác giả cãi nhau to, nảy ra bao nhiêu là vấn đề.
THẾ NÀO LÀ CÂN BẰNG?
Là một người vừa ủng hộ cân bằng giới, vừa tôn trọng sự khác biệt các đặc điểm giới, đôi lúc mình thấy thật khó để đưa ra quyết định "cân bằng" cho một tập thể. Khái niệm cân bằng, chính nó lại có những nét không cân bằng. Không cân bằng không những không phủ định, trái lại còn làm hài hoà thêm sự cân bằng.
Một lớp học với 50 nam và 50 nữ sắp chụp ảnh kỷ yếu, cần người khiêng vài cái bàn học ra sân trường để làm phông nền và cũng cần người trang điểm. Lựa chọn thường được đưa ra theo mình là hợp lý, nhưng nó có cân bằng không? Mình chịu.
Trong gia đình, đàn ông đến từ sao Hoả, đàn bà đến từ sao Kim. Não bộ đàn ông tập trung, lý trí, tìm giải pháp. Não bộ phụ nữ phân tán, giàu cảm xúc, cần được lắng nghe.
Em có thể nói chuyện cùng anh trong khi đang vừa nấu ăn vừa xem Next Top Model để coi tập này có gì hot. Vậy mà tại sao lúc anh đang ngồi làm việc (chẳng làm gì thêm), anh lại gạt em đi? Em chỉ cần anh lắng nghe, anh đưa giải pháp làm gì? Bị trừ lương, anh đang lo lắng tìm cách gỡ lại, còn em thấy anh với khuôn mặt trắng bệch vô cảm thì lại nghĩ anh có cô nào. Khổ thế.
Con gái mà, sáng nắng, chiều mưa, tối âm u, khuya bão khẩn cấp là chuyện bình thường.
ĐÀN ÔNG CÓ CẢM XÚC KHÔNG?
Cách đây vài năm, mình nghe một bài nhạc của Thái Lan. Nhạc cũng không có gì đặc biệt, nhưng tiêu đề hay: "Anh cũng sống, cũng biết nghĩ, biết đau". Vì sự lý trí, mạnh mẽ với nhiều giải pháp tuyệt vời của não trái, người ta quên rằng đàn ông cũng là con người. Cảm xúc nói cho cùng chỉ là sự biến đổi của hormones trong con người. Có điều, cách biểu lộ cảm xúc hai giới khác nhau xa. Trong gia đình, người bố hay bị bỏ quên vì cứ mắng mỏ, nổi giận, đánh đòn. Phụ nữ hy sinh thầm lặng rất nhiều, nhưng hy sinh của người đàn ông cho gia đình cũng rất thầm lặng. Mình chưa có gia đình, nhưng mình đã dần thấu hiểu hơn sau rất nhiều thời gian nghĩ về bố.
PHỤ NỮ CÓ GIỎI GIẮN KHÔNG?
Giỏi giắn (competent) ở đây có thể hiểu thiên về não trái. Vì được nhìn nhận với cảm xúc dồi dào, đôi khi phụ nữ bị đối xử bất công. Chẳng hạn có những nghiên cứu cho thấy người sếp thường nghĩ phụ nữ muốn giảm giờ làm/nghỉ việc sau khi sinh con để chăm lo gia đình, do đó họ thường ít được sếp tín nhiệm hơm, dù cho hiệu suất công việc vẫn vậy hoặc thậm chí là tốt hơn trước sinh. Vì sếp ít tín nhiệm, họ bỏ việc để đi tìm công việc khác tốt hơn, nhưng sếp lại hiểu rằng "đúng là họ muốn bỏ việc thật". Lâu dần, điều này trở thành kinh nghiệm và thành cách để xã hội vận hành.
Còn nhiều suy nghĩ trong đầu quá, nhưng viết hơi dài rồi...
Ba lời khuyên từ sách (dựa trên bằng chứng) để có cuộc sống 50/50, có gia đình êm ấm, hạnh phúc:
1. Phụ nữ hãy dành thời gian riêng cho bố và con để dần có niềm tin rằng bố con vẫn ổn nếu mẹ đi vắng. Đàn ông cũng nên ủng hộ, lắng nghe, động viên người phụ nữ trong công việc xã hội hằng ngày.
2. Thời gian chơi với con là rất quan trọng và cần thiết, nhưng chất lượng mỗi buổi quan trọng hơn rất nhiều. Ở nhà với con cả hai mươi bốn tiếng chưa chắc hiệu quả so với việc chỉ chơi với bé trong vài tiếng buổi tối, miễn là đúng cách.
3. Chia sẻ thẳng thắn, đồng cảm từ hai phía là cốt lõi.
Mình là người chưa có gia đình. Thật cảm ơn tác giả vì đã dạy cho mình nhiều điều bổ ích.
February 22, 2017
306.872 MEE 2013
Player 306.872 MEE
I have not aware that I hold so much stereotype ideas myself, like female doing housework better, like female should brace this burden more. After reading this book, I do believe if women need more equality, women need first change this mind-set, we need include men into the house chore.
Recommend everyone read it.
虽然书值得一看，不过从本质上讲，教育是世上最难做的一件事。是要花无穷精力的。兼顾工作和教育，想要两个都做好，不太可能。尤其现在学校教育质量太差。Housewife 没有价值，除了housekeeping 没有dollar value, 更重要的是 stay home wife's 把教育推给学校，tutors, 自己不钻研。In this way, their mind are rusty one year after one year. Otherwise, everyone who try find answers to ideas of what is truly education is, usually find education is quite challenge and rewarding.
The Women's Room by Marilyn French
The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan
Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood by William S. Pollack
Einstein Never Used Flash Cards by by Kathy Hirsh-Pasek (free time play and chore , not pack children's schedule with activity help more)
The Lazy Husband: How to Get Men to Do More Parenting and Housework by by Joshua Coleman
Getting to Yes: Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher (classic book)
When Partners Become Parents: The Big Life Change for Couples by Carolyn Pape Cowan
Marriage, a History: From Obedience to Intimacy or How Love Conquered Marriage by by Stephanie Coontz
A 50/50 marriage isn't purely based on how you divide the daily tasks of family life - 50/50 is really about a core belief: that satisfying work lives and loving bonds with our children are equally important to men and women.
The Implicit Association Test (IAT) p62
Maternal wall and Glass wall p78
Part I The good news about works: why two careers are better than one. 2 points appeal to me: Dad has more bond with kids; second, one parter could take more risk jobs.
Part II: Three truths to bust the myths about work, women, and men
4. Women don't quit because they want to.
5. Success does not require 24/7
6. It's not a fair game - but you can improve your odds.
seven gender taxes on women
1. The little-me tax: "No really, you take it, I don't deserve it." (that is, underestimate themselves)
2. The Girl Scout tax: "Don't worry, I'll take care of it." (that is, women help taken for grant)
3. The Gal Pal tax: "She 's sooooo nice... I really like her. (urge female tendency try to social, view work place as a simple work place)
4. The pocketbook tax: "About this raise you want..." (log your achievement, find out average salary and then bargain)
5. The Fanny grab tax: "Is that an iPhone in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me." (sex harassment issue on work)
6. The velvet glove tax (women are hard to take criticism, other people's opinion.
7. Then I-Don't-Know-How-She-Does-It tax: "You're still working?"
p159 Diversity make room for innovation, feel more free to dissent. - Good point, I agree.
Part III: The 50/50 Solutions and how to make it yours.
Some excerpt:
p171. Dating advice: Let people talk. They'll tell you everything you need to know; You have to kiss a lot of toads before you meet a prince. -- funny
p216 caregiver sensitively make a big different not child caregivers ratio -- I agree.
p253 Working mom are stressed, stay-at-home moms are depressed -- So true.
p249 Work is engineered for efficiency and things at your kids' school seem organized for participation. .. About the challenge of contributing at your child's school when you are a working parent. "Who want to bring the knives? who want to bring the forks, the napkins? I feel like saying, "Aren't they all in the same grocery aisle? Can't one person just pick all of them up -- and for all five class parties we have this year? --- funny.
While most parents today do work, schools remains designed for a different era, when nonworking mothers were the only parents get involved. It's like the at-home moms are saying, "We're a club and you're not in it."... "We feel shut out. It's just assumed you won't want to go because you're a man."
Player 306.872 MEE
I have not aware that I hold so much stereotype ideas myself, like female doing housework better, like female should brace this burden more. After reading this book, I do believe if women need more equality, women need first change this mind-set, we need include men into the house chore.
Recommend everyone read it.
虽然书值得一看，不过从本质上讲，教育是世上最难做的一件事。是要花无穷精力的。兼顾工作和教育，想要两个都做好，不太可能。尤其现在学校教育质量太差。Housewife 没有价值，除了housekeeping 没有dollar value, 更重要的是 stay home wife's 把教育推给学校，tutors, 自己不钻研。In this way, their mind are rusty one year after one year. Otherwise, everyone who try find answers to ideas of what is truly education is, usually find education is quite challenge and rewarding.
The Women's Room by Marilyn French
The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan
Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood by William S. Pollack
Einstein Never Used Flash Cards by by Kathy Hirsh-Pasek (free time play and chore , not pack children's schedule with activity help more)
The Lazy Husband: How to Get Men to Do More Parenting and Housework by by Joshua Coleman
Getting to Yes: Negotiating an Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher (classic book)
When Partners Become Parents: The Big Life Change for Couples by Carolyn Pape Cowan
Marriage, a History: From Obedience to Intimacy or How Love Conquered Marriage by by Stephanie Coontz
A 50/50 marriage isn't purely based on how you divide the daily tasks of family life - 50/50 is really about a core belief: that satisfying work lives and loving bonds with our children are equally important to men and women.
The Implicit Association Test (IAT) p62
Maternal wall and Glass wall p78
Part I The good news about works: why two careers are better than one. 2 points appeal to me: Dad has more bond with kids; second, one parter could take more risk jobs.
Part II: Three truths to bust the myths about work, women, and men
4. Women don't quit because they want to.
5. Success does not require 24/7
6. It's not a fair game - but you can improve your odds.
seven gender taxes on women
1. The little-me tax: "No really, you take it, I don't deserve it." (that is, underestimate themselves)
2. The Girl Scout tax: "Don't worry, I'll take care of it." (that is, women help taken for grant)
3. The Gal Pal tax: "She 's sooooo nice... I really like her. (urge female tendency try to social, view work place as a simple work place)
4. The pocketbook tax: "About this raise you want..." (log your achievement, find out average salary and then bargain)
5. The Fanny grab tax: "Is that an iPhone in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me." (sex harassment issue on work)
6. The velvet glove tax (women are hard to take criticism, other people's opinion.
7. Then I-Don't-Know-How-She-Does-It tax: "You're still working?"
p159 Diversity make room for innovation, feel more free to dissent. - Good point, I agree.
Part III: The 50/50 Solutions and how to make it yours.
Some excerpt:
p171. Dating advice: Let people talk. They'll tell you everything you need to know; You have to kiss a lot of toads before you meet a prince. -- funny
p216 caregiver sensitively make a big different not child caregivers ratio -- I agree.
p253 Working mom are stressed, stay-at-home moms are depressed -- So true.
p249 Work is engineered for efficiency and things at your kids' school seem organized for participation. .. About the challenge of contributing at your child's school when you are a working parent. "Who want to bring the knives? who want to bring the forks, the napkins? I feel like saying, "Aren't they all in the same grocery aisle? Can't one person just pick all of them up -- and for all five class parties we have this year? --- funny.
While most parents today do work, schools remains designed for a different era, when nonworking mothers were the only parents get involved. It's like the at-home moms are saying, "We're a club and you're not in it."... "We feel shut out. It's just assumed you won't want to go because you're a man."
March 6, 2019
My sister recommended this book to me a few years ago and even bought it and put it on my shelf. Needless to say, my very not balanced and crazed life with work and toddlers made it so that I could never crack it open even though I desperately wanted advice and reassurance that I could be an effective working mom. When I realized it had come to audio book in my library network, I was thrilled and jumped on it and I’m so glad I did. While maybe every single discussion point may not be relevant or how I see what’s possible in my life, I truly feel that this book may have changed my “full time working mommy who loves her exhausting dream job” existence completely. Listening to it’s thoughtful analysis on how I can shift my current assumptions and patterns about how this is supposed to go was validating, encouraging, and enlightening, increased my awareness of what I default to and why, made me realize I have one of the very rare and shiny true husband partners that I can really get to 50/50 with, and improved my cognitive flexibility about how I can choose to manage what feels impossible. I am grateful to my sister and to the book and feel like it’s going to need to replay throughout the year during my commute to help me stay grounded in my new hopeful understanding of the 50/50 life I want.❤️
June 5, 2020
I feel like the title of this book should be: How upper Upper UPPER middle class white-collar working cis-het parents can have it all.
If that were the title and if the specific intent of this book, then I would rate it higher. It actually does have a lot of good information in it, and if you accept they are writing for a very narrow audience, people just like them, who really want a high power career in law, academia, or big business management.
I particularly liked the suggestions in the chapter on negotiating housework with husbands (this is one of the most frequently discussed topics in my marriage therapy practice, women are so frustrated). Also, while I thought the suggestion were great, I think they painted a way way way too rosy picture of the likely outcomes of those negotiations, I honestly don't know *any* cis-het couples with a 50/50 spilt, even the ones with progressive husbands who believe in equality. And they failed to acknowledge that even if the negotiation techniques work to acheive a more equitable spilt in housework, the woman was still expected to do nearly 100% of the emotional labor to get the couple there by planning and executing the negotiations in the first place.
If that were the title and if the specific intent of this book, then I would rate it higher. It actually does have a lot of good information in it, and if you accept they are writing for a very narrow audience, people just like them, who really want a high power career in law, academia, or big business management.
I particularly liked the suggestions in the chapter on negotiating housework with husbands (this is one of the most frequently discussed topics in my marriage therapy practice, women are so frustrated). Also, while I thought the suggestion were great, I think they painted a way way way too rosy picture of the likely outcomes of those negotiations, I honestly don't know *any* cis-het couples with a 50/50 spilt, even the ones with progressive husbands who believe in equality. And they failed to acknowledge that even if the negotiation techniques work to acheive a more equitable spilt in housework, the woman was still expected to do nearly 100% of the emotional labor to get the couple there by planning and executing the negotiations in the first place.
February 23, 2023
Valuable research for those wanting 50/50 households, though definitely written from an American, and a privileged one at that, lens (ie making sure your boss can contact you if it’s important, discussing childcare at 4 months .. elsewhere it’s widely recognized that a baby should be with mom for the first year. So yes, children thrive in childcare and women shouldn’t feel pressured to stay home and give up their careers, but they should also be given the liberty and financial freedom to be with their baby for more than 6 weeks. And “hire out” “get take out” etc are not options for every household.)
May 10, 2019
This is a good read. I always read the books I want to read, not until I start to follow the reading list of my friend, who is a career woman. This book gives me a perspective on what it is like for my wife and the kids. Perspective is important if we want to change and help make things better for our family. This is a recommended read for all parents. This book talks about the benefit of 50/50 parenting.
September 28, 2017
I found this book so insightful and useful. Being a working mom is a juggling act, but it is so worth it. I wish I would have read this book earlier in my career, but regardless of where you are in your career, or your journey of motherhood, I think this is a book that every working woman should read.
June 23, 2017
Good read. Definitely directed at women; still a great resource for men.
September 30, 2019
I am this book's target demographic. It delivered.
May 23, 2020
I prefer more studies and less storytelling.
December 6, 2023
Personally not a fan, too dated and generalizing and not relevant to small businesses
December 18, 2025
LISTENED - Listened most in early fall and last 8% in December. Should relisten to in 5ish years.
Read
August 6, 2023مما لا شك فيه أن المواد الخرسانية تمتص الحرارة ، لذلك هناك عدد من المواد المنتجة للاستخدام في العزل الحراري ، وأصبحت هذه المواد منتشرة على نطاق واسع. الصوف الصخري: على شكل ألواح ملتصقة بالسطح ، أو بلاط موزاييك يحتوي على نسبة عالية من الصوف الحجري. طريقة أخرى هي لفة من الصوف الحجري الخام ، والتي تنتشر على كامل مساحة السطح ، ثم يتم سكب طبقة من الخرسانة عليها. مادة البيرلايت: وهي مادة معدنية متعددة الأوجه وباهظة الثمن ماديا ، وهي من المواد المستخدمة في العزل الحراري ، حيث تنتشر على السطح بطريقة خاصة أو توضع مع الخرسانة ، حيث تعمل هذه المادة على عكس الحرارة ، وتعمل أيضا كمواد عازلة للصوت. قد لا يخلو السطح العازل للسقف من الرطوبة من الشقوق التي يخترق الماء من خلالها السقف ويسبب الرطوبة. هذه هي واحدة من أكثر القضايا إشكالية التي تنشأ في المنزل ، ومن كيفية تسرب المياه من السقف. صفائح البيتومين: وهي عبارة عن صفائح تحتوي على مادة البوتامين ، حيث يتم تثبيتها في مكانها بواسطة حرارة الغاز ، تعمل هذه المادة على منع تسرب المياه من السقف. زجاج الماء: مادة تذوب في الماء ويتم وضعها مباشرة على السطح بمسدس رش. أنهيدريد السيليكون: مادة عازلة متينة ممزوجة بالإسمنت ، نظرا لأن حبيبات أنهيدريد السيليكون هي المكون الرئيسي للخرسانة ، مما يقوي جزيئات خليط الأسمنت الصخري: عند سكبها في طبقة من الخرسانة ، فإنها تستخدم أيضا في العزل المائي. مادة البارافين: تستخدم في وقت واحد مع زجاج الماء. طبقات البوليسترين أو الفلين: هذه إحدى طرق العزل الحديثة ، وهي ممتازة لعزل الصوت: تتناسب الكتل جيدا مع السطح ، وتوضع طبقة من الأسمنت في الأعلى. البيتومين: يتم إحضاره من إنتاج البيتومين ، حيث تباع المادة في براميل ، وتسخن وتذوب إلى حالة سائلة ، وتوزع على السطح وتجفف
شركة عزل اسطح
أهمية عزل خزانات المياه من الداخل براتنج الإيبوكسي.
يمنع الأضرار التي تلحق بالمباني والهياكل نتيجة تسرب المياه.
هذا يسمح لك بالحفاظ على المياه في الخزان نظيفة بنسبة 100٪. بهذه الطريقة يمكننا شرب الماء النظيف دون القلق بشأنه لبقية حياتنا.
يمنع تكوين الفطريات والطحالب في قاع وجدران الخزان ويمنع ظهور البكتيريا والميكروبات.
يساعد عزل الإيبوكسي على منع تسرب الغبار والأوساخ. لا يخترق الخزان ولا يدخل الماء ويساعد على حمايتنا من تلوث المياه.
يمنع أشعة الشمس الضارة من دخول الماء ، حتى نتمكن من استخدام المياه النظيفة والآمنة.
يساعد على إطالة عمر خدمة خزان المياه الافتراضي ، مما يساهم في توفير التكاليف.
هذا نوع ممتاز من العزل يوفر للمستهلك جودة عالية وفي نفس الوقت تكلفة منخفضة.
يساعد على حماية خزان المياه من الرطوبة التي تدمر خرسانة الخزان. بالإضافة إلى ذلك ، فإنه يسبب ضررا كبيرا للمياه التي نأكلها.
شركة عزل خزانات
شركة عزل اسطح
أهمية عزل خزانات المياه من الداخل براتنج الإيبوكسي.
يمنع الأضرار التي تلحق بالمباني والهياكل نتيجة تسرب المياه.
هذا يسمح لك بالحفاظ على المياه في الخزان نظيفة بنسبة 100٪. بهذه الطريقة يمكننا شرب الماء النظيف دون القلق بشأنه لبقية حياتنا.
يمنع تكوين الفطريات والطحالب في قاع وجدران الخزان ويمنع ظهور البكتيريا والميكروبات.
يساعد عزل الإيبوكسي على منع تسرب الغبار والأوساخ. لا يخترق الخزان ولا يدخل الماء ويساعد على حمايتنا من تلوث المياه.
يمنع أشعة الشمس الضارة من دخول الماء ، حتى نتمكن من استخدام المياه النظيفة والآمنة.
يساعد على إطالة عمر خدمة خزان المياه الافتراضي ، مما يساهم في توفير التكاليف.
هذا نوع ممتاز من العزل يوفر للمستهلك جودة عالية وفي نفس الوقت تكلفة منخفضة.
يساعد على حماية خزان المياه من الرطوبة التي تدمر خرسانة الخزان. بالإضافة إلى ذلك ، فإنه يسبب ضررا كبيرا للمياه التي نأكلها.
شركة عزل خزانات
April 18, 2015
As a working mother, I feel like I am supposed to LOVE this book. I did like it, and I enjoyed reading some of the statistics and encouragement for working women, but I'll be honest that I found it a bit dull.
The title of the book is "Getting to 50/50" and on the cover it states "How working couples can have it all by sharing it all and why it's great for your marriage, your career, your kids and you." There are three parts to the book:
Part 1 -- The Good News About Work: Why Two Careers Are Better Than One
Part 2 -- Three Truths to Bust the Myths About Work, Women and Men
Part 3 -- The 50/50 Solution and How to Make It Yours
I found the first part fascinating. It is full of studies and data about why a woman staying home with her children is not necessarily the best thing for the children or her marriage and how one of the most important factors in a child's development is actually the father's involvement (whether or not the mother works outside the home).
The second part is where I started to lose interest. It started to feel a little whiny to me about how women with children are so persecuted in the workplace. I think that's because I personally couldn't identify with many of the examples, although that's actually part of the point -- I probably do experience some of the things the authors describe and I'm just not paying close enough attention.
I was hoping the third part would be a good conclusion and rope me back in, but I found it more tailored to brand new working mothers.
I like that the authors make women think about their own part in the responsibility of the 50/50 split (i.e. communicate with your partner about sharing the responsibilities, don't expect him to read your mind and allow him to do things his way). However, I do think the authors missed an important piece of the whole thing -- i.e. "what happens when your husband is not on board with the 50/50 mentality?"
Overall, I think the book is good. I would recommend it more for newer working mothers who are just starting to navigate this new world of balancing family and career.
The title of the book is "Getting to 50/50" and on the cover it states "How working couples can have it all by sharing it all and why it's great for your marriage, your career, your kids and you." There are three parts to the book:
Part 1 -- The Good News About Work: Why Two Careers Are Better Than One
Part 2 -- Three Truths to Bust the Myths About Work, Women and Men
Part 3 -- The 50/50 Solution and How to Make It Yours
I found the first part fascinating. It is full of studies and data about why a woman staying home with her children is not necessarily the best thing for the children or her marriage and how one of the most important factors in a child's development is actually the father's involvement (whether or not the mother works outside the home).
The second part is where I started to lose interest. It started to feel a little whiny to me about how women with children are so persecuted in the workplace. I think that's because I personally couldn't identify with many of the examples, although that's actually part of the point -- I probably do experience some of the things the authors describe and I'm just not paying close enough attention.
I was hoping the third part would be a good conclusion and rope me back in, but I found it more tailored to brand new working mothers.
I like that the authors make women think about their own part in the responsibility of the 50/50 split (i.e. communicate with your partner about sharing the responsibilities, don't expect him to read your mind and allow him to do things his way). However, I do think the authors missed an important piece of the whole thing -- i.e. "what happens when your husband is not on board with the 50/50 mentality?"
Overall, I think the book is good. I would recommend it more for newer working mothers who are just starting to navigate this new world of balancing family and career.
October 1, 2015
If this book had been marketed as an advice book for women on how to get ahead in a male dominated career, I would have given it 4 stars. As a book for new and potential parents, 1 star is generous. I am a "working" parent with a spouse who is just as involved in our child's life as I am. I am also a child of a "working" mother and father who was just as involved in my life as my mom was. I am writing this as proof that I believe and have experience with the concept of 50/50 parenting.
The authors in this book came across as people who had kids because that is what you are supposed to do and not because they actually had any desire to raise, mold, shape, love, play, be a parent to a child. Every chance they had they degraded mothers who decide to make raising their children a priority. Stay at home moms are working moms, they make important and invaluable contributions to society and the household, and any money the 'bread-winner' the SAHM is equally entitled to.
The parts where they discuss volunteering again shows their disrespect for anyone not in the business world. Just like it takes time to train someone for a paying job, it also takes time to train someone for a volunteer shift. Having parents walking in and out of fieldtrips could be very confusing for teachers who are also trying to keep track of students.
The authors in this book came across as people who had kids because that is what you are supposed to do and not because they actually had any desire to raise, mold, shape, love, play, be a parent to a child. Every chance they had they degraded mothers who decide to make raising their children a priority. Stay at home moms are working moms, they make important and invaluable contributions to society and the household, and any money the 'bread-winner' the SAHM is equally entitled to.
The parts where they discuss volunteering again shows their disrespect for anyone not in the business world. Just like it takes time to train someone for a paying job, it also takes time to train someone for a volunteer shift. Having parents walking in and out of fieldtrips could be very confusing for teachers who are also trying to keep track of students.
June 17, 2023
ميزات أثاث ايكيا
تحتاج إلى معرفة بعض فوائد أثاث ايكيا ، قبل إجراء عملية الشراء ، على عكس الذوق الرفيع للمنتج ، هناك عدد من فوائد قطع ايكيا ، سنذكر من خلال السطور التالية أهم ميزات أثاث ايكيا ، وهي كما يلي:
المواد المستخدمة في أثاث ايكيا هي القطن والخشب بكفاءة وجودة عالية وعمر طويل ، وتهدف الشركة إلى تحقيق جودة أعلى للمنتجات بحلول عام 2022 وإرضاء جميع العملاء ، والخشب المستخدم في صناعة الأثاث حاصل على شهادة دولية بجودته.
ما يميز أثاث ايكيا هو أنه من حيث جودة المنتج ، تعتمد الشركة على أفضل المواد الطبيعية ، مثل الخشب والقطن ، بجودة عالية مقارنة بالشركات الأخرى.、
أيضا ، يمكنك الحصول على قطعة بسيطة جدا من خلال الشركة ، لذلك بالإضافة إلى إمكانية الحصول على قطعة تخزين خاصة ، يمكنك حمل المزيد من العناصر.
يتميز بحقيقة أن أثاث ايكيا قد تم استخدامه لسنوات عديدة ، حيث يتم تثبيته بطريقة تجعل أثاث ايكيا أضعف من غيرها ، وبالتالي يحتاج أثاث ايكيا إلى الاستبدال بعد سنوات عديدة من الاستخدام.
تطلق منتجات ايكيا حوالي 2500 منتج جديد كل عام ، صممها أفضل الخبراء في صناعة الأثاث ، بشعار صنع منتجات عالية الجودة بأسعار معقولة للجميع ، وتستهدف فئة كبيرة من الناس حول العالم.
تركيب اثاث ايكيا
تحتاج إلى معرفة بعض فوائد أثاث ايكيا ، قبل إجراء عملية الشراء ، على عكس الذوق الرفيع للمنتج ، هناك عدد من فوائد قطع ايكيا ، سنذكر من خلال السطور التالية أهم ميزات أثاث ايكيا ، وهي كما يلي:
المواد المستخدمة في أثاث ايكيا هي القطن والخشب بكفاءة وجودة عالية وعمر طويل ، وتهدف الشركة إلى تحقيق جودة أعلى للمنتجات بحلول عام 2022 وإرضاء جميع العملاء ، والخشب المستخدم في صناعة الأثاث حاصل على شهادة دولية بجودته.
ما يميز أثاث ايكيا هو أنه من حيث جودة المنتج ، تعتمد الشركة على أفضل المواد الطبيعية ، مثل الخشب والقطن ، بجودة عالية مقارنة بالشركات الأخرى.、
أيضا ، يمكنك الحصول على قطعة بسيطة جدا من خلال الشركة ، لذلك بالإضافة إلى إمكانية الحصول على قطعة تخزين خاصة ، يمكنك حمل المزيد من العناصر.
يتميز بحقيقة أن أثاث ايكيا قد تم استخدامه لسنوات عديدة ، حيث يتم تثبيته بطريقة تجعل أثاث ايكيا أضعف من غيرها ، وبالتالي يحتاج أثاث ايكيا إلى الاستبدال بعد سنوات عديدة من الاستخدام.
تطلق منتجات ايكيا حوالي 2500 منتج جديد كل عام ، صممها أفضل الخبراء في صناعة الأثاث ، بشعار صنع منتجات عالية الجودة بأسعار معقولة للجميع ، وتستهدف فئة كبيرة من الناس حول العالم.
تركيب اثاث ايكيا
July 31, 2011
This book is a healthy reminder that being a working mom can be a very good decision for you, your kids and your relationship with your husband. The book talks about how rewarding it is for working couples to share the duties of raising children, and making money. But you have to share the duties equally, thus the title of the book. The book can be repetitive. It's full of information from government studies, etc which drive home the same point, don't give up on your career, and hang in there! The main thing I took away from this book is that to get to 50/50, I should give up some domestic control and let daddy do it his way. And also, for women who say their career doesn't cover the cost of childcare, think about it over time. Years and years of having a job will have bigger a payback. Also, it's more secure to have 2 jobs. Blah, blah, blah. I highly recommend this book for any struggling working mom or couple.
January 15, 2016
This book was fine--well researched, insightful--yet every time I listened I came away so depressed: partially because of all the issues that shouldn't even be issues (moms and dads sharing childcare duties equally, employers being supportive of working parents) and partially because this book's ideal is clearly families headed by two crazy-ambitious career parents. My husband and I did better than most in sharing child-care duties while the kids were young, but we both embarked on part-time careers that we worked hard to mold to our family life, rather than molding our family to accommodate our work lives. Now I'm at middle age with teenagers and wondering if I did right; this book felt like salt in that psychic wound. Not their fault, but it did make it hard for me to fully embrace the book.
June 9, 2013
Forget the debate about whether women can "have it all". Of course they can. As can their spouses. The trick is that while you can HAVE it all, you can't DO it all. Getting to 50/50 is about the art of recognizing yourself and your spouse as equal partners. Equal bread winners and equal parents. For many women this means fighting past cultural expectations both to stay in the workforce and to accept (really and truly) that their partners are not bumbling fools, but instead competent parents.
They give some good food for though on solutions that have worked for others, conversations to have (and when), and lots and lots of encouragement. This is a great pep talk for anyone feeling that their career will have to suffer in order for them to be an effective parent.
They give some good food for though on solutions that have worked for others, conversations to have (and when), and lots and lots of encouragement. This is a great pep talk for anyone feeling that their career will have to suffer in order for them to be an effective parent.
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