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Caverns and Creatures #1
Critical Failures
Tim and his friends find out the hard way that you shouldn't question the game master, and you shouldn't make fun of his cape.
One minute, they're drinking away the dreariness of their lives, escaping into a fantasy game and laughing their asses off. The next minute, they're in a horse-drawn cart surrounded by soldiers pointing crossbows at them.
Tim now has the voice and physique of a prepubescent girl. Dave finds that while he lost a foot or two in height, he somehow acquired a suit of armor and a badass beard. Julian's ears have grown ridiculously long and pointy. And Cooper... well Cooper has gotten himself a set of tusks, a pair of clawed hands, and a bad case of the shits. He also finds that he's carrying a bag with a human head in it - a head that he had chopped off when they were still just playing a game.
Shit just got real, and if they want to survive, these four friends are going to have to tap into some baser instincts they didn't even know existed in their fast-food and pizza delivery world.
It's fight, flight, or try to convince the people who are trying to kill them that they don't really exist.
Meanwhile, a sadistic game master sits back in the real world eating their fried chicken.
One minute, they're drinking away the dreariness of their lives, escaping into a fantasy game and laughing their asses off. The next minute, they're in a horse-drawn cart surrounded by soldiers pointing crossbows at them.
Tim now has the voice and physique of a prepubescent girl. Dave finds that while he lost a foot or two in height, he somehow acquired a suit of armor and a badass beard. Julian's ears have grown ridiculously long and pointy. And Cooper... well Cooper has gotten himself a set of tusks, a pair of clawed hands, and a bad case of the shits. He also finds that he's carrying a bag with a human head in it - a head that he had chopped off when they were still just playing a game.
Shit just got real, and if they want to survive, these four friends are going to have to tap into some baser instincts they didn't even know existed in their fast-food and pizza delivery world.
It's fight, flight, or try to convince the people who are trying to kill them that they don't really exist.
Meanwhile, a sadistic game master sits back in the real world eating their fried chicken.
282 pages, Paperback
First published June 4, 2012
2088 people are currently reading
4308 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 824 reviews
June 14, 2016
This book is based on a good idea. I've read other books based on this idea. I've liked books based on this idea. The plot idea of modern gamers being unexpectedly thrust into a fantasy world is an excellent one.
Sadly this particular book is crap.
I know there are players like the ones pictured in this book...there have to be. Every group no matter what, political, religious, sports, people who live in a given area or region, MMORPG players or table-top players has to have it's idiots. The ones who give us all a bad name. The ones on which everyone else likes to base their negative stereo-types.
That's these cretins. They apparently get together occasionally to drink, tell fart jokes and attempt to play their game (obviously based on D&D). Had I ever had the misfortune of being invited to game with these imbeciles I'd have been gone before the "CM" (DM, game master etc.) had gone through with his reaction to their nonsense.
Look I see that this part of the book doesn't bother some readers. Personally I couldn't get past these characters. I have been gaming since 1978 (I also raised a family, had a career etc.). If these morons are how you picture table top gamers...or worse yet your experience of gamers then I'm sorry.
This book is as I said, crap. Not only that, it's annoying crap. I not only didn't finish it, I got rid of it. I not only can't recommend it, I recommend you avoid it.
Sadly this particular book is crap.
I know there are players like the ones pictured in this book...there have to be. Every group no matter what, political, religious, sports, people who live in a given area or region, MMORPG players or table-top players has to have it's idiots. The ones who give us all a bad name. The ones on which everyone else likes to base their negative stereo-types.
That's these cretins. They apparently get together occasionally to drink, tell fart jokes and attempt to play their game (obviously based on D&D). Had I ever had the misfortune of being invited to game with these imbeciles I'd have been gone before the "CM" (DM, game master etc.) had gone through with his reaction to their nonsense.
Look I see that this part of the book doesn't bother some readers. Personally I couldn't get past these characters. I have been gaming since 1978 (I also raised a family, had a career etc.). If these morons are how you picture table top gamers...or worse yet your experience of gamers then I'm sorry.
This book is as I said, crap. Not only that, it's annoying crap. I not only didn't finish it, I got rid of it. I not only can't recommend it, I recommend you avoid it.
May 14, 2014
When Tim, Dave, Cooper, and Julian play a game of Caverns and Creatures with a new Cavern Master, they get more than they bargained for. Trapped in the game world in the bodies of their characters, can they survive long enough to make it back to the real world and settle the pompous Cavern Master's hash?
Back in the day, around the time the oceans drank Atlantis, I played a fair bit of Dungeons and Dragons. Sadly, I recognize a lot of what goes on in this book.
Critical Failures tells the story of what many a Dungeon Master would like to do to disruptive characters, i.e. throw them into the game world and teach them a lesson. The cast isn't quite the bunch of gamer stereotypes I thought it might be but some of them are present, like the noob and the disruptive loudmouth. More than once, I empathized with Mordred the Cavern Master.
The story is full of humor and actually has some good adventure-y bits. I think you probably need to have gamed in order to fully appreciate a lot of it. The humor ranges from Python-esque to dick and fart jokes, crossing from one side of the humor spectrum to the other.
The story ends unexpectedly, not exactly a cliffhanger but not what I expected. Luckily, I got this and the sequel for 99 cents each so I'm be attacking the second one directly.
If you've ever spent nights drinking Mountain Dew and covered in nerd sweat and Cheetoh dust around a gaming table, this is the book for your. Four out of five stars!
Back in the day, around the time the oceans drank Atlantis, I played a fair bit of Dungeons and Dragons. Sadly, I recognize a lot of what goes on in this book.
Critical Failures tells the story of what many a Dungeon Master would like to do to disruptive characters, i.e. throw them into the game world and teach them a lesson. The cast isn't quite the bunch of gamer stereotypes I thought it might be but some of them are present, like the noob and the disruptive loudmouth. More than once, I empathized with Mordred the Cavern Master.
The story is full of humor and actually has some good adventure-y bits. I think you probably need to have gamed in order to fully appreciate a lot of it. The humor ranges from Python-esque to dick and fart jokes, crossing from one side of the humor spectrum to the other.
The story ends unexpectedly, not exactly a cliffhanger but not what I expected. Luckily, I got this and the sequel for 99 cents each so I'm be attacking the second one directly.
If you've ever spent nights drinking Mountain Dew and covered in nerd sweat and Cheetoh dust around a gaming table, this is the book for your. Four out of five stars!
July 9, 2014
In Critical Failures a group of friends meet for a little role playing, inviting a stranger to play with them. The stranger turns out to be strange indeed. Soon their fantasy game becomes very real.
This is almost the exact same premise as the '80s tv show Dungeons & Dragons, wherein some kids get swooped up into the game and must fend for their lives. More originality would've been nice, but as long as there's excitement and fun in the adventure that's all that matters. Oh, I suppose that since this is a comedy, it's also important that this be funny. Let's see how it pans out...
The Adventure
Critical Failures could've been a little more adventurous. The characters didn't get very far and spent much of their time jailed. Still, Bevan squeezed in some low-level fighting in keeping with the way a good old D&D game campaign usually begins. He also kept up the action about as much as he could. After all, wimpy beginners can't be slaying dragons and conquering hordes. There's lots of fun for old school gamers. I got a few nostalgic chuckles as Bevan walked me down memory lane. As a writer he smartly added in a couple characters who were new to it all, so that things could be explained and elementary mistakes could be made that might heighten the tension or hilarity, which brings me to...
The Humor
I'm a 12 year-old-boy trapped in a middle-aged man's body [insert "insert" jokes here], so I enjoyed the potty humor...well, at least to a point. I need variety too and there's too much reliance on "your mom" jokes to provide comic relief. It's no relief if it's repeated so often that the humor is drained out of it. But to be fair, this book is meant to be representative of some immature, socially abhorrent young men playing a role playing game. When I played D&D, this is pretty much what it was like. It weren't pretty.
Overall, Bevan did a decent job combining adventure and humor in this fantasy setting. Slaying things and making it funny can't be easy, so I give him props for that.
As a novel for fans of fantasy, who are non-role-players, well, I guess they'd find some enjoyment in Critical Failures. However, all others should steer clear of this one. It's not meant for you, and the author's awkward phrasings and occasionally stilted dialogue would only grate upon your brain, especially if it wasn't receiving the influx of pleasure the rest of us are getting from this otherwise admirable attempt at a mock up of the role playing experience.
This is almost the exact same premise as the '80s tv show Dungeons & Dragons, wherein some kids get swooped up into the game and must fend for their lives. More originality would've been nice, but as long as there's excitement and fun in the adventure that's all that matters. Oh, I suppose that since this is a comedy, it's also important that this be funny. Let's see how it pans out...
The Adventure
Critical Failures could've been a little more adventurous. The characters didn't get very far and spent much of their time jailed. Still, Bevan squeezed in some low-level fighting in keeping with the way a good old D&D game campaign usually begins. He also kept up the action about as much as he could. After all, wimpy beginners can't be slaying dragons and conquering hordes. There's lots of fun for old school gamers. I got a few nostalgic chuckles as Bevan walked me down memory lane. As a writer he smartly added in a couple characters who were new to it all, so that things could be explained and elementary mistakes could be made that might heighten the tension or hilarity, which brings me to...
The Humor
I'm a 12 year-old-boy trapped in a middle-aged man's body [insert "insert" jokes here], so I enjoyed the potty humor...well, at least to a point. I need variety too and there's too much reliance on "your mom" jokes to provide comic relief. It's no relief if it's repeated so often that the humor is drained out of it. But to be fair, this book is meant to be representative of some immature, socially abhorrent young men playing a role playing game. When I played D&D, this is pretty much what it was like. It weren't pretty.
Overall, Bevan did a decent job combining adventure and humor in this fantasy setting. Slaying things and making it funny can't be easy, so I give him props for that.
As a novel for fans of fantasy, who are non-role-players, well, I guess they'd find some enjoyment in Critical Failures. However, all others should steer clear of this one. It's not meant for you, and the author's awkward phrasings and occasionally stilted dialogue would only grate upon your brain, especially if it wasn't receiving the influx of pleasure the rest of us are getting from this otherwise admirable attempt at a mock up of the role playing experience.
March 31, 2015
This may be one of the most terrible books I have ever read. It seems like it was written by a misogynistic, homophobic 13 year old boy, who thinks that swear words are effective vocabulary, and friendships consist of being unkind to one another and telling "your momma" jokes. The theme of the story, being a dungeons and dragons type story, may have been something I would have really enjoyed, if the writing hadn't been The Worst Thing Ever. I should never have bothered finishing this book. It just got worse and worse
February 28, 2017
Critical Failures (Caverns and Creatures Book 1) by Robert Bevan is so hilarious, and I am not a gamer! I bought the book and then decided to add the $2 for the audio narration so my son would listen to it, he doesn't like to read but I thought he would love this story because he is a big gamer. I started listening to it while I did things around the house but got so into the story, I just sat down and listened and giggled. Nothing got done, I just took my tablet to bed with me and I laid there listening to this crazy story and laughed and giggled till it was finished. I didn't really care nothing got done because I really enjoyed the story so much! Now to let my son use my tablet. I wasn't going to till I was finished! The story is about a group of friends that get a new game master, one they never met before, come over and run the game. They are jerks and they pay for it. They end up in the game as their characters. It is so funny. A must read for gamers or not!
May 26, 2016
Not a book for me. Again, the plot sounded interesting, a group of friends playing Caverns & Creatures roll some magic dice and get trapped in the fantasy world, with the same rules applying (leveling up, all the constraints on when they can use their spells etc) except if they die, they stay dead. The problem for me is that all these people are the folks you would immediately put on ignore if you met them in a game online. They would be the ninja pullers, the rager in a BG, the asshole spewing racist stuff in trade (and the race thing in this book I also found odd).
Their only repartee involves 3 things:
1) Your mom jokes
2) Calling each other fags (sometimes with a combo of 1--accusing each other of having fags for mothers)
3) vomitting or shitting themselves in random moments
So it's pretty juvenile. There are a few jokes, but everything is very overexplained. I know there's a bunch of these and hopefully there's some character development, but everyone in this book, including the raven, were braying jackasses to me.
Their only repartee involves 3 things:
1) Your mom jokes
2) Calling each other fags (sometimes with a combo of 1--accusing each other of having fags for mothers)
3) vomitting or shitting themselves in random moments
So it's pretty juvenile. There are a few jokes, but everything is very overexplained. I know there's a bunch of these and hopefully there's some character development, but everyone in this book, including the raven, were braying jackasses to me.
March 1, 2013
Critical Failures is an interesting blend of a novel. The story starts with a group of lads Tim, Cooper, Julian and Dave awaiting the arrival of a new Games Master for their weekly game of Caverns and Creatures, a Dungeons and Dragons style role playing game. As you might expect the author takes every opportunity to poke fun at the stereotype gamer, nerds with absolutely no prospect of ever finding a girlfriend. When the Games Master finally arrives, wearing a cape, they all take the opportunity to have some fun at his expense. Matters go from bad to worse and our "heroes" find themselves magically transported to the Games World with the GM having full control over this environment.
Bevan neatly combines the fantasy and comedy genres with quite a lot of action for the characters but with them of course fully aware of their game characters strengths and weaknesses. The strength of this novel lies in the humour. I found myself laughing out loud a lot but also rooting for our hapless heroes. Fantasy and RPG fans will get the jokes and find this funny. Anyone who is partial to slapstick humour will enjoy this also I'd imagine. It's not a high brow book and the humour isn't subtle but we all need a laugh sometimes and Critical Failures does this effortlessly.
Bevan neatly combines the fantasy and comedy genres with quite a lot of action for the characters but with them of course fully aware of their game characters strengths and weaknesses. The strength of this novel lies in the humour. I found myself laughing out loud a lot but also rooting for our hapless heroes. Fantasy and RPG fans will get the jokes and find this funny. Anyone who is partial to slapstick humour will enjoy this also I'd imagine. It's not a high brow book and the humour isn't subtle but we all need a laugh sometimes and Critical Failures does this effortlessly.
June 10, 2020
This is the kind of book you read after you finish a great book while you think about what to read next. It's not for everyone. It's for people who meet all of the following criteria: (a) males (b) those who have played dungeons and dragons and (c) those with a childish sense of humor (i.e. all males under 68 years of age).
Before you write to N.O.W and have my "Feminist of the Year" award revoked, let me explain.... this humor is not the stuff of "chick lit." It's not deep. It's not subtle. It's not smart. It's not inoffensive. The humor is basically guys calling each other gay and making jokes on the level of "that's what she said!" It's just crude, stupid, ridiculous humor that males (generally) like and that females (generally) dislike. Sometimes, that's just what I want. And if you're a female and you like "stupid guy humor," that's cool. I don't care. Don't flame me, bro!
As the story wore on, the novelty of the Beavisesque absurdity wore off and the story started to drag a bit. But it was good enough to keep my attention for the most part.
Critical Failures is super easy to follow. It's cool to zone out for a bit if you're listening to the audiobook. The story will be right there waiting for you when your attention returns to it.
Books like this make me dislike the five star rating system. I want a hundred point system. I'm on the fence between giving it three and four stars. It's good for what it is.... a stupid, funny, easy read for a specific niche of people. But I've rated MUCH better books four stars.
Anyway, finish Lolita, read this while you digest Lolita and then pick up a good John Irving novel and go on with your life. As I type this, I'm towards the beginning of The Cider House Rules and still making my mind up on it. But when I'm finished, while I process the symbolism and philosophy and politics of it, I just might pick up the next book in this series.
Before you write to N.O.W and have my "Feminist of the Year" award revoked, let me explain.... this humor is not the stuff of "chick lit." It's not deep. It's not subtle. It's not smart. It's not inoffensive. The humor is basically guys calling each other gay and making jokes on the level of "that's what she said!" It's just crude, stupid, ridiculous humor that males (generally) like and that females (generally) dislike. Sometimes, that's just what I want. And if you're a female and you like "stupid guy humor," that's cool. I don't care. Don't flame me, bro!
As the story wore on, the novelty of the Beavisesque absurdity wore off and the story started to drag a bit. But it was good enough to keep my attention for the most part.
Critical Failures is super easy to follow. It's cool to zone out for a bit if you're listening to the audiobook. The story will be right there waiting for you when your attention returns to it.
Books like this make me dislike the five star rating system. I want a hundred point system. I'm on the fence between giving it three and four stars. It's good for what it is.... a stupid, funny, easy read for a specific niche of people. But I've rated MUCH better books four stars.
Anyway, finish Lolita, read this while you digest Lolita and then pick up a good John Irving novel and go on with your life. As I type this, I'm towards the beginning of The Cider House Rules and still making my mind up on it. But when I'm finished, while I process the symbolism and philosophy and politics of it, I just might pick up the next book in this series.
August 12, 2013
Should a Game Master use his magic dice to banish his four players into the world of their game, simply for not giving the game their undivided attention? How very rude! Really, people that own magical artifacts should be required to complete anger management counseling. Granted that all four guys seemed to want beer more than game play, and they were a little insulting to the guy that they invited to their game. But you’d think that someone that wears a purple cape and calls himself Mordred (yes, really) would be a little more tolerant of the social inadequacies of others. I’m guessing he doesn't get out much.
So it is that Tim, Cooper, Dave, and Julian find themselves inhabiting the bodies of their game characters, and minus the beer. They wake in the world of their game, and Camelot it is not. As low level characters with limited skills, they soon realize that perhaps beheading that soldier over a few routine insults had been a bad call. Ready or not, they must now “be” the game. Namaste.
And that’s just the beginning. There is nothing serious going on here, folks. This book is strictly for fun, and you need not be a fan of role playing games to enjoy it. I've never played, but Robert Bevan does a good job of explaining the game without bogging down the story. I had no trouble following the action and appreciating the humor. This is the first of several stories, but the ending is not unfinished. It’s more like a “tune in next week for more adventure” type of deal. One note – this is definitely adult fare, not suitable for the younger set. It’s also not for those easily offended by some profanity and a bit of crudeness. These characters are not Boy Scouts. But they are the good guys, and funny. I plan to read more of their stories.
So it is that Tim, Cooper, Dave, and Julian find themselves inhabiting the bodies of their game characters, and minus the beer. They wake in the world of their game, and Camelot it is not. As low level characters with limited skills, they soon realize that perhaps beheading that soldier over a few routine insults had been a bad call. Ready or not, they must now “be” the game. Namaste.
And that’s just the beginning. There is nothing serious going on here, folks. This book is strictly for fun, and you need not be a fan of role playing games to enjoy it. I've never played, but Robert Bevan does a good job of explaining the game without bogging down the story. I had no trouble following the action and appreciating the humor. This is the first of several stories, but the ending is not unfinished. It’s more like a “tune in next week for more adventure” type of deal. One note – this is definitely adult fare, not suitable for the younger set. It’s also not for those easily offended by some profanity and a bit of crudeness. These characters are not Boy Scouts. But they are the good guys, and funny. I plan to read more of their stories.
August 24, 2012
In Critical Failures, Mr. Bevan introduces us to a humorous tale of a group of slackers who, for not taking Caverns and Creatures seriously enough, are sentenced by the Cavern Master to experience it for real. Unfortunately for the players, they have to live with the consequences of their actions from when it was just a game.
Why to buy this book: It’s well written and fast paced. It’s easy to become immersed in the world. Besides that, it’s laugh out loud funny. Literally. My wife had to tell me to quiet down a couple of times so as not to wake the little one. The best thing about the humor, though, is that it flows from the characters and the story instead of seeming contrived for the sake of a laugh.
Why not to buy the book: Though the plot contains quite a bit of adventure, one of its primary charms is its humor, and I’m not sure you’ll catch all of it if you’re not familiar with role-playing games. The most serious negative to me (with the caveat that I really enjoyed this book) is that I didn’t find the characters all that likeable. They fit the story well, and Mr. Bevan brought them to life. I could see these guys sitting around a pizza shop playing D&D (excuse me, C&C). The problem is that I wouldn’t enjoy being around them very much as they didn’t seem to have a lot of redeeming qualities.
Bottom Line: I try to save 5 stars for my favorite books of all time like Eye of the World and Name of the Wind, so I couldn’t stretch quite that high for this one. It’s a solid 4, maybe even 4.5 though. I do recommend giving it a read if you’ve ever done RPG’s.
Why to buy this book: It’s well written and fast paced. It’s easy to become immersed in the world. Besides that, it’s laugh out loud funny. Literally. My wife had to tell me to quiet down a couple of times so as not to wake the little one. The best thing about the humor, though, is that it flows from the characters and the story instead of seeming contrived for the sake of a laugh.
Why not to buy the book: Though the plot contains quite a bit of adventure, one of its primary charms is its humor, and I’m not sure you’ll catch all of it if you’re not familiar with role-playing games. The most serious negative to me (with the caveat that I really enjoyed this book) is that I didn’t find the characters all that likeable. They fit the story well, and Mr. Bevan brought them to life. I could see these guys sitting around a pizza shop playing D&D (excuse me, C&C). The problem is that I wouldn’t enjoy being around them very much as they didn’t seem to have a lot of redeeming qualities.
Bottom Line: I try to save 5 stars for my favorite books of all time like Eye of the World and Name of the Wind, so I couldn’t stretch quite that high for this one. It’s a solid 4, maybe even 4.5 though. I do recommend giving it a read if you’ve ever done RPG’s.
December 21, 2015
I had to give up on listening to this book about half way through. Just not to my taste I guess. I was hoping for something funny or witty, pointing fun at nerd culture while also embracing it with obscure references. Instead, I got an endless stream of obscenities from a group of shallow, unlikable characters with zero depth or backstory.
I am half way through this book and I can’t tell you anything about any of the characters. For example, is there a main character that the story centers around? Not as far as I can tell. Where do they live? The south? Georgia? Maybe, it is hard to tell. How old are they? How did they meet?
I don’t even know why they choose to hang-out, since they all seem to deeply dislike each other. They interact with each other in a manner that I could only imagine coming from 14 year old boys who just arrived at a juvenile detention center. They are forced to be together and get along to some degree, while also jockeying for status by being the most vulgar and dislikable, to show everyone else just how much they don’t care about their own (or anyone else’s) situation.
I hate to give up on a book after investing so much time in it, but I just couldn’t take it anymore.
I am half way through this book and I can’t tell you anything about any of the characters. For example, is there a main character that the story centers around? Not as far as I can tell. Where do they live? The south? Georgia? Maybe, it is hard to tell. How old are they? How did they meet?
I don’t even know why they choose to hang-out, since they all seem to deeply dislike each other. They interact with each other in a manner that I could only imagine coming from 14 year old boys who just arrived at a juvenile detention center. They are forced to be together and get along to some degree, while also jockeying for status by being the most vulgar and dislikable, to show everyone else just how much they don’t care about their own (or anyone else’s) situation.
I hate to give up on a book after investing so much time in it, but I just couldn’t take it anymore.
November 18, 2013
Crass humour
Corny jokes
Super geek fest
MORE PLEASE!
I was on the unlucky end of dungeons and dragons, I started secondary school a year after they closed the group, but I have always had a fascination and played computer games when I can get m hands on them. This took me into the world and let me explore. Funny and light hearted, yet it made me feel for the characters even the rather… shall I say animalistic Cooper!
I would recommend this to anyone with a good sense of humour and either experience of these types of games or a desire to play.
Corny jokes
Super geek fest
MORE PLEASE!
I was on the unlucky end of dungeons and dragons, I started secondary school a year after they closed the group, but I have always had a fascination and played computer games when I can get m hands on them. This took me into the world and let me explore. Funny and light hearted, yet it made me feel for the characters even the rather… shall I say animalistic Cooper!
I would recommend this to anyone with a good sense of humour and either experience of these types of games or a desire to play.
December 12, 2020
Sword and sorcery comedy novel, packed with slapstick, profane, and teenaged male humor, and if you're in the right frame of mind, it's utterly hilarious. (If you're not, don't pick it up. Not even if it's free.) The writing is deadpan, the editing and formatting decent, and the story and characters kept me up way too late reading. And giggling; my poor guy did get some sleep. I think.
The book does stand alone, but the ending is abrupt. It's clearly a set-up for the series, and honestly, the problem is so insoluble, I'm wondering if the series can ever end. These poor D&D players are stuck in a fantasy world that's growing increasingly unfriendly, which means a lot of slapstick, profane stories to come. Considering I'm likely to be in the right frame of mind again, that's a good thing.
The book does stand alone, but the ending is abrupt. It's clearly a set-up for the series, and honestly, the problem is so insoluble, I'm wondering if the series can ever end. These poor D&D players are stuck in a fantasy world that's growing increasingly unfriendly, which means a lot of slapstick, profane stories to come. Considering I'm likely to be in the right frame of mind again, that's a good thing.
February 18, 2019
This book is good for what it is: a fun, easy, entertaining read. My aunt, of all people, recommended it to me. I think she's played Dungeons and Dragons a total of two times in her entire life, but she has read every book in this series so far.
Even if you've never played a tabletop RPG (I've only played once), I'm guessing you would still be able to understand what's going on. The author explains the rules well without making it boring.
This book was actually much better than I expected. The humor, for the most part, is crude and juvenile, but I'll admit that I did laugh out loud a few times. The action scenes and the dialogue were surprisingly well-written, and I liked the characters (Ravenus, Julian, and Chaz are my favorites).
The ending was a bit abrupt, so if you want any sort of closure you'll have to read the next book (or 6) in the series.
Even if you've never played a tabletop RPG (I've only played once), I'm guessing you would still be able to understand what's going on. The author explains the rules well without making it boring.
This book was actually much better than I expected. The humor, for the most part, is crude and juvenile, but I'll admit that I did laugh out loud a few times. The action scenes and the dialogue were surprisingly well-written, and I liked the characters (Ravenus, Julian, and Chaz are my favorites).
The ending was a bit abrupt, so if you want any sort of closure you'll have to read the next book (or 6) in the series.
May 26, 2014
This book is a guilty pleasure kind of read. It was a hilarious romp through a Dungeons & Dragons type world with a group of foul-mouthed but funny losers. It will never go down in the annals of great literature, but as someone who has played D&D before it was a laugh a minute. Fellow nerds, please read this one. You'll laugh at least once, out loud, while reading this. I promise.
March 23, 2025
2025: 2nd time reading this. I think I liked it more this time around. Hilarious yet moving. Highly imaginative. Highly recommend. 5/5
13th book read in 2015.
Number 107 out of 441 on my all time book list.
Follow the link below to see my video review:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ea3lh...
13th book read in 2015.
Number 107 out of 441 on my all time book list.
Follow the link below to see my video review:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ea3lh...
July 19, 2024
3.5 An early LitRPG from 2012 which appeared a year before the term was coined and an inauspicious book to pioneer the mix of role-playing elements and juvenile humor for adults. A bad comedy that somehow redeems itself with an unpredictable plot and clever situation comedy. This is a trashy R-rated bro vaudeville, but also a surprisingly smart twist on the fantasy genre. The idea is simple, surviving in a world where you have to live in dungeons and dragons rules to the letter. There's a female character who mostly shows up in the second half who is portrayed as a massive b-word and it's kind of mean-spirited. But all these characters are idiots. This is a foul-mouth, beer and violence comedy first and a surprisingly solid early type of RPG book second.
October 20, 2021
This is one of the most enjoyable LitRPGs I’ve ever read. The basic plot is fairly typical—a group of role-playing gamers get transported into their role-playing universe and have to learn to survive as their characters. But the differences are what makes this story great. First, there’s a real-world bad guy—Mordred the Cavern Master (the game is Creatures and Caverns). He’s a super nerd with a set of magic dice that he uses to transport the players into his world after they irritate him. (And to be fair, they were being really irritating—ribbing each other and him and other forms of goofing off.) This is where the second great distinguishing characteristic comes to play. Even after what happens to them, even with the terrible situation they are in, the players can’t stop fooling around and teasing each other. At times this seems crazy, but it really makes the whole book a lot of fun and strangely more realistic.
Add in that two of the people have no experience with the game, two of the players have chosen races that normally hate each other, and that Mordred keeps interfering in their game, messing with them, and sometimes communicating with them, and the enjoyment keeps going up. Even better, at times Mordred helps at least one of them, making it unclear for a while if he is actually a total villain.
Finally, the ending was a complete surprise to me. It’s just wonderfully done.
If you liked this review, you can find more at www.gilbertstack.com/reviews.
Add in that two of the people have no experience with the game, two of the players have chosen races that normally hate each other, and that Mordred keeps interfering in their game, messing with them, and sometimes communicating with them, and the enjoyment keeps going up. Even better, at times Mordred helps at least one of them, making it unclear for a while if he is actually a total villain.
Finally, the ending was a complete surprise to me. It’s just wonderfully done.
If you liked this review, you can find more at www.gilbertstack.com/reviews.
September 18, 2018
Is this a masterpiece of human literature? Definitely not.
Is it hillarious from start to finish and will I continue devouring the sequels? In the "spirit" of the book, I'm gonna go with: Oh Hell Fucking Yes.
I admit, this is not for everyone, it's not deep or complicated, there's a simple plot, and apart from the main characters, there isn't anyone worth mentioning. However, if you like "Yo Momma" jokes, expletive references to shit, piss, dicks and tits, set in a fantasy universe using D&D mechanics, this book has got you covered.
Is it hillarious from start to finish and will I continue devouring the sequels? In the "spirit" of the book, I'm gonna go with: Oh Hell Fucking Yes.
I admit, this is not for everyone, it's not deep or complicated, there's a simple plot, and apart from the main characters, there isn't anyone worth mentioning. However, if you like "Yo Momma" jokes, expletive references to shit, piss, dicks and tits, set in a fantasy universe using D&D mechanics, this book has got you covered.
August 10, 2016
This book is great...For what it is. It's not groundbreaking. It's not going to win any Pulitzers. But if you want a fun, quick, vulgar, extremely nerdy title, this is the book for you. Also, it broke me out of a reading slump, so there's that going for it.
November 27, 2013
If the other books I've reviewed are polite visitors, then Robert Bevan's "Critical Failures" is the guy in the GWAR T-shirt that cussed out a neighbor, drank all the vodka, and passed out in the bathroom.
This book spends a lot of time in said bathroom. Bevan answers the truly burning questions in the fantasy genre, such as "How badly does an orc's feculence stink?" and "What god does a dwarven cleric pray to when he forgot to designate one?" As you might guess, this one's not for kids by any stretch of the imagination--the profanity comes early and often.
Tim, Julian, Dave and Cooper are four friends that seek to assuage their day of boredom working at a local chicken restaurant with a game of "Caverns and Creatures", the book's stand-in for the pen-and-paper RPG we all know and love. Said game will be run by a "Cavern Master" named Mordred, who has a fragile ego, only a loose connection to reality, and a bag of magical dice. Having him meet the exceedingly-caustic Cooper creates a situation as stable as a Soviet nuclear reactor.
So of course the DM melts down. Our heroes are thrown into the gaming world itself. It isn't a soft landing, either--no sooner have they arrived than they find themselves pursued by local authorities, because Cooper took it upon himself to have his previously paper-only character lop off the head of a likewise paper-only guard. Tim (in this world a halfling rogue) is promptly captured, and our heroes are under pressure to concoct a rescue plan while also grappling with the fact that failure in this very real environment can lead to their very real deaths.
This setup produces some snags. In striving to balance comedy, action, and suspense, the book sometimes missteps over its own tone. Long tracts are devoted to the characters springing themselves from very dangerous situations, and often these don't have a trace of mirth in them, so it's easy to forget what you're reading is--I think--intended to be light-hearted. Then you're suddenly in a scene where the characters are laughing out loud at the most banal of events.
I found that somewhat disjointed. Being stuck in a fantasy world should be much more damaging and depressing for our protagonists, and yet the book needs them to shake much of it off and produce humor, and so they do. Then in the next moment it's imploring us to believe that everything is at stake, that the heroes are completely, deadly serious due to some emergency, and we should be too. It's a bit of a seesaw effect on our nerves, and I wasn't always a fan of it.
I'm not saying the book isn't a delightful read--it very much is. But the effect is a bit like if Ash in the Army of Darkness stumbled across a recently-slain child, then in the next scene was back to his regular antics. Wouldn't that be a bit of a buzz kill?
The combat scenes suffer a bit from this disjointedness, but the worst symptoms of this malady involve Mordred. What that psychopath has done to these guys isn't a laughing matter. He's deprived them of all the rest of their years, and consigned them to existence in a world of absolute, unending danger. Nothing will ever be the same, and Bevan doesn't spend enough time explaining how our characters can just write that off and walk away. If you were ripped away from everyone and everything you loved, how would you process that? Would you find yourself having an almost casual conversation with the person that did that to you?
Where Bevan hits better notes, I think, are when Critical Failures relishes in its bread and butter contemporary fableau strongpoints, and doesn't try to be more than the enjoyable tongue-in-cheek romp that it is. Cooper is every bit suited to life as a half-orc barbarian, full of insults and brash decisions, and the characters' slow discovery of their latent abilities is handled with an amused eye for the idiosyncrasies of the "game's" rules and the quirky tendencies of its most strident players. How does one speak in Elven, for example? Adopt an English accent. Being a gifted musician and troubadour? Here, it's a fate worse than death.
No one is safe from sarcasm, and that includes animal familiars, local peasants, and even the fantasy-staple critters that populate the text.
Those creatures, by the way, are realized in vibrant fashion by Bevan. As much as I sometimes took issue with the scenes taking place involving multiple strangers or interior environments (I couldn't always understand exactly what was going on), Bevan writes creepy crawlies with an absolute eye for how they would function in a fantasy world's ecosystem. Every dangerous beast that he brings within weapons range of our heroes is described with an almost naturalist's eye for realistic behavior, and this ramps up the sense of urgency and dread I experienced when reading about them.
I had some additional, minor points of complaint. One is the inconsistent setting--the village waxes from a medieval-like setting to almost pan-Victorian. Further, the bulk of the book's action basically takes place in two areas: the woods, and the prison, and that's it. I get that Bevan is setting things up for further adventures, but it would have been nice to see more of this world in this first book.
Grammarians take note--I'm raising the red flag on editing. It's probably something Mr. Bevan will address in a later revision, but this book really needs a pro-level editor. The mistakes never kept me from wanting to read the rest of the story (I was enjoying it), but they were there. I'm very forgiving of this sort of thing, but many readers won't be.
It's worth noting that at the time I picked up Critical Failures, it was free on the Amazon storefront in Kindle format. But I think it's easily worth $2.99 or even more, and I want to stress that if you're showing up for laughs, you'll probably feel like you got your money's worth. There were more than a few times that I almost lost control of myself in a public venue reading it.
Though the book isn't for everyone, if you have any background at all with fantasy RPG's--particularly the variety that take place over beer and pretzels at ten o'clock on a Friday night--then this book is an absolute no-brainer. Don't let my feedback to the author stop you, just go get your copy.
And for goodness sake, never roll giant black D20's.
-----------
Check out the rest of my book reviews on Goodreads, and film and podcast reviews on my official site.
This book spends a lot of time in said bathroom. Bevan answers the truly burning questions in the fantasy genre, such as "How badly does an orc's feculence stink?" and "What god does a dwarven cleric pray to when he forgot to designate one?" As you might guess, this one's not for kids by any stretch of the imagination--the profanity comes early and often.
Tim, Julian, Dave and Cooper are four friends that seek to assuage their day of boredom working at a local chicken restaurant with a game of "Caverns and Creatures", the book's stand-in for the pen-and-paper RPG we all know and love. Said game will be run by a "Cavern Master" named Mordred, who has a fragile ego, only a loose connection to reality, and a bag of magical dice. Having him meet the exceedingly-caustic Cooper creates a situation as stable as a Soviet nuclear reactor.
So of course the DM melts down. Our heroes are thrown into the gaming world itself. It isn't a soft landing, either--no sooner have they arrived than they find themselves pursued by local authorities, because Cooper took it upon himself to have his previously paper-only character lop off the head of a likewise paper-only guard. Tim (in this world a halfling rogue) is promptly captured, and our heroes are under pressure to concoct a rescue plan while also grappling with the fact that failure in this very real environment can lead to their very real deaths.
This setup produces some snags. In striving to balance comedy, action, and suspense, the book sometimes missteps over its own tone. Long tracts are devoted to the characters springing themselves from very dangerous situations, and often these don't have a trace of mirth in them, so it's easy to forget what you're reading is--I think--intended to be light-hearted. Then you're suddenly in a scene where the characters are laughing out loud at the most banal of events.
I found that somewhat disjointed. Being stuck in a fantasy world should be much more damaging and depressing for our protagonists, and yet the book needs them to shake much of it off and produce humor, and so they do. Then in the next moment it's imploring us to believe that everything is at stake, that the heroes are completely, deadly serious due to some emergency, and we should be too. It's a bit of a seesaw effect on our nerves, and I wasn't always a fan of it.
I'm not saying the book isn't a delightful read--it very much is. But the effect is a bit like if Ash in the Army of Darkness stumbled across a recently-slain child, then in the next scene was back to his regular antics. Wouldn't that be a bit of a buzz kill?
The combat scenes suffer a bit from this disjointedness, but the worst symptoms of this malady involve Mordred. What that psychopath has done to these guys isn't a laughing matter. He's deprived them of all the rest of their years, and consigned them to existence in a world of absolute, unending danger. Nothing will ever be the same, and Bevan doesn't spend enough time explaining how our characters can just write that off and walk away. If you were ripped away from everyone and everything you loved, how would you process that? Would you find yourself having an almost casual conversation with the person that did that to you?
Where Bevan hits better notes, I think, are when Critical Failures relishes in its bread and butter contemporary fableau strongpoints, and doesn't try to be more than the enjoyable tongue-in-cheek romp that it is. Cooper is every bit suited to life as a half-orc barbarian, full of insults and brash decisions, and the characters' slow discovery of their latent abilities is handled with an amused eye for the idiosyncrasies of the "game's" rules and the quirky tendencies of its most strident players. How does one speak in Elven, for example? Adopt an English accent. Being a gifted musician and troubadour? Here, it's a fate worse than death.
No one is safe from sarcasm, and that includes animal familiars, local peasants, and even the fantasy-staple critters that populate the text.
Those creatures, by the way, are realized in vibrant fashion by Bevan. As much as I sometimes took issue with the scenes taking place involving multiple strangers or interior environments (I couldn't always understand exactly what was going on), Bevan writes creepy crawlies with an absolute eye for how they would function in a fantasy world's ecosystem. Every dangerous beast that he brings within weapons range of our heroes is described with an almost naturalist's eye for realistic behavior, and this ramps up the sense of urgency and dread I experienced when reading about them.
I had some additional, minor points of complaint. One is the inconsistent setting--the village waxes from a medieval-like setting to almost pan-Victorian. Further, the bulk of the book's action basically takes place in two areas: the woods, and the prison, and that's it. I get that Bevan is setting things up for further adventures, but it would have been nice to see more of this world in this first book.
Grammarians take note--I'm raising the red flag on editing. It's probably something Mr. Bevan will address in a later revision, but this book really needs a pro-level editor. The mistakes never kept me from wanting to read the rest of the story (I was enjoying it), but they were there. I'm very forgiving of this sort of thing, but many readers won't be.
It's worth noting that at the time I picked up Critical Failures, it was free on the Amazon storefront in Kindle format. But I think it's easily worth $2.99 or even more, and I want to stress that if you're showing up for laughs, you'll probably feel like you got your money's worth. There were more than a few times that I almost lost control of myself in a public venue reading it.
Though the book isn't for everyone, if you have any background at all with fantasy RPG's--particularly the variety that take place over beer and pretzels at ten o'clock on a Friday night--then this book is an absolute no-brainer. Don't let my feedback to the author stop you, just go get your copy.
And for goodness sake, never roll giant black D20's.
-----------
Check out the rest of my book reviews on Goodreads, and film and podcast reviews on my official site.
January 30, 2019
Let's get the bad out of the way: yes, virtually all of these characters are juvenile assholes who richly deserve each other, and the text is highly scatological, filled with body fluids of various types and “your mama” jokes. Highbrow literature,
it ain't.
It's not particularly well-written, nobody here is particularly likable, and it's an enormous farce. But it was entertaining enough that I wanted to pick up the second book right away when the first one ended.
There are a lot of angry gamers out there complaining that it's insulting to gamers – they hate it for all the same reasons they hate Big Bang Theory. But the entire point of the story is that these are NOT typical gamers – these characters are such a bunch of jerkwads that the Cavern Master, who BTW is also a total and unredeemable jerkwad himself, can't take more than an hour of them and punishes their bad behavior by magicking them into the game.
Also, I remember a certain little TV comedy called Seinfeld, in which all the characters were repellent assholes who richly deserved each other, and they were an insult to human beings... and yet that was the key to its comedy. If even a couple of them were halfway normal, decent people, there would simply be no story because they wouldn't get into any of these situations. And it's the same with these dillholes. If they were polite and respectful to each other and everyone around them, it not only wouldn't be funny, it would never have happened and there would be no story. Let me put it this way: If you liked Seinfeld, Big Bang Theory, and Ready Player One, I bet you will love this book. If you find any (and especially if you find ALL) of those demeaning, vapid, low-brow and/or prurient, you should give this book a pass.
But the other aspect that makes it so entertaining is the “comedy of the absurd” quality of a group of people from our world trying to adjust to the new reality of the game world that now surrounds them. It's almost like the exact opposite of the The Fionavar Tapestry, which a lot of sword-and-sorcery types adore – those characters traveled to an alternate world voluntarily, and once they got there, they just skipped all difficulties adjusting (even though they knew nothing about this world before going there), and there was absolutely no humor anywhere in it.
I grew up just as D&D and similar RPGs inspired by it were making their way into video game form, so I have very little experience with the classic pencil-and-paper version, but I can say I spent many happy hours as a kid exploring the ASCII-based dungeons of Moria (which BTW, you can play online for free) and the more sophisticated computer RPGs that came after it. I couldn't help mentally inserting one of my own several ready-made RPG characters into the mix and wondering how “I” would handle it if I had been one of the group thrown into the game world.
Does it pass the Bechdel test? Are you kidding? Of course not. Would have been interesting, though, if one of the players had been gender-bending a character at the time they were magicked into the game world.
There are a lot of angry gamers out there complaining that it's insulting to gamers – they hate it for all the same reasons they hate Big Bang Theory. But the entire point of the story is that these are NOT typical gamers – these characters are such a bunch of jerkwads that the Cavern Master, who BTW is also a total and unredeemable jerkwad himself, can't take more than an hour of them and punishes their bad behavior by magicking them into the game.
Also, I remember a certain little TV comedy called Seinfeld, in which all the characters were repellent assholes who richly deserved each other, and they were an insult to human beings... and yet that was the key to its comedy. If even a couple of them were halfway normal, decent people, there would simply be no story because they wouldn't get into any of these situations. And it's the same with these dillholes. If they were polite and respectful to each other and everyone around them, it not only wouldn't be funny, it would never have happened and there would be no story. Let me put it this way: If you liked Seinfeld, Big Bang Theory, and Ready Player One, I bet you will love this book. If you find any (and especially if you find ALL) of those demeaning, vapid, low-brow and/or prurient, you should give this book a pass.
But the other aspect that makes it so entertaining is the “comedy of the absurd” quality of a group of people from our world trying to adjust to the new reality of the game world that now surrounds them. It's almost like the exact opposite of the The Fionavar Tapestry, which a lot of sword-and-sorcery types adore – those characters traveled to an alternate world voluntarily, and once they got there, they just skipped all difficulties adjusting (even though they knew nothing about this world before going there), and there was absolutely no humor anywhere in it.
I grew up just as D&D and similar RPGs inspired by it were making their way into video game form, so I have very little experience with the classic pencil-and-paper version, but I can say I spent many happy hours as a kid exploring the ASCII-based dungeons of Moria (which BTW, you can play online for free) and the more sophisticated computer RPGs that came after it. I couldn't help mentally inserting one of my own several ready-made RPG characters into the mix and wondering how “I” would handle it if I had been one of the group thrown into the game world.
Does it pass the Bechdel test? Are you kidding? Of course not. Would have been interesting, though, if one of the players had been gender-bending a character at the time they were magicked into the game world.
October 22, 2022
I'm torn about this book. The adventure was good. But the horrible taste, jokes and general mysogyny and casual homophobia was terrible. So it's annoying, cause I want to give three stars for the adventure itself, but I absolutely don't want to give anything higher than two for the nasty taste it leaves in your mouth. Just as soon as you get into the adventure, one of the shit for brains characters says something like "oh, like how I mounted your mother last night" or "I think I just came" as they're being healed, and you just want to throw your e-reader across the room.
The main characters are a bunch of rude, homophobic and immature incels. And I don't know if they're written to be that way cause that's the author's sense of humor, or what. But most of the book is really disgusting and quite offensive. The author is even specifically trying to appear to be un-racist by having the characters quibble about saying racist stuff, and yet it still comes across pretty much even more racist because of that. Incredible feat right there, didn't even know it could be done. 🤦🏻♀️ It's kind of like how people say shit like "but you're not like the others of your kind" and think that makes them look like the good guys, except in reality it's the complete opposite. Dude, making your character "ashamed" of themselves after saying some racist shit about Jews really doesn't make you look any better. Anyway, the rest of it is just narrating them essentially play D&D.
The funniest thing is that it would have been okay if only it stopped with all the dumb yo momma or fart jokes, or stopped making comparisons like "running like a coked up hooker from a crime scene", or how "gay" someone's name or clothes were. Seriously... Maybe it was just written for thirteen year old boys, I don't know.
There were some positive bits to the book. Despite "C&C" not being quite D&D, it still retains a lot of the same ideas and principles. And they're explained well, so if you're a player who's just started playing and is curious, it could be educational about gameplay, roleplay and some other ways the game works. It also explains the concept of meta dialogue pretty well. I even wanted to raise it to two stars because of this, but then it objectified the only woman in the book some more, and I decided that no way is this getting an extra star. And then it said that thing about Jews, so there was no way back.
By the way, I play D&D, and so do a lot of my friends. And this stereotype of "only disgusting male incels who wear silly capes play it" is dumb and pretty outdated. Get a grip, Critical Role are like in the top ten earners on Twitch, and they're pretty damn cool and very decent people.
If you want to read about D&D style adventures, I would rather recommend any of the books by D.H. Willison. The series in question starts with this one: Harpyness is Only Skin Deep, but my personal favorite is this one: Hazelhearth Hires Heroes.
The main characters are a bunch of rude, homophobic and immature incels. And I don't know if they're written to be that way cause that's the author's sense of humor, or what. But most of the book is really disgusting and quite offensive. The author is even specifically trying to appear to be un-racist by having the characters quibble about saying racist stuff, and yet it still comes across pretty much even more racist because of that. Incredible feat right there, didn't even know it could be done. 🤦🏻♀️ It's kind of like how people say shit like "but you're not like the others of your kind" and think that makes them look like the good guys, except in reality it's the complete opposite. Dude, making your character "ashamed" of themselves after saying some racist shit about Jews really doesn't make you look any better. Anyway, the rest of it is just narrating them essentially play D&D.
The funniest thing is that it would have been okay if only it stopped with all the dumb yo momma or fart jokes, or stopped making comparisons like "running like a coked up hooker from a crime scene", or how "gay" someone's name or clothes were. Seriously... Maybe it was just written for thirteen year old boys, I don't know.
There were some positive bits to the book. Despite "C&C" not being quite D&D, it still retains a lot of the same ideas and principles. And they're explained well, so if you're a player who's just started playing and is curious, it could be educational about gameplay, roleplay and some other ways the game works. It also explains the concept of meta dialogue pretty well. I even wanted to raise it to two stars because of this, but then it objectified the only woman in the book some more, and I decided that no way is this getting an extra star. And then it said that thing about Jews, so there was no way back.
By the way, I play D&D, and so do a lot of my friends. And this stereotype of "only disgusting male incels who wear silly capes play it" is dumb and pretty outdated. Get a grip, Critical Role are like in the top ten earners on Twitch, and they're pretty damn cool and very decent people.
If you want to read about D&D style adventures, I would rather recommend any of the books by D.H. Willison. The series in question starts with this one: Harpyness is Only Skin Deep, but my personal favorite is this one: Hazelhearth Hires Heroes.
October 13, 2012
This is a really fun book. The basic premise: a group of friends are keen players of 'Caverns and Creatures', a game not totally unlike 'Dungeons and Dragons' (cough), but when they insult their new Cavern Master, he retaliates by sending them into the game for real. And so a half-orc barbarian, a dwarven cleric, a halfling rogue and an elvish sorcerer find themselves getting used to new bodies, learning to use their abilities, facing up to trolls, goblins, giant ants and a humourless town guard, and finding ingenious ways to survive, but all strictly within the rules of the game.
I've never played D&D, and my only contact with the culture was reading 'The Elfish Gene' many years ago, so a lot of this could have been incomprehensible to me. It's a testament to the author's skill that it wasn't; there was never a point where I felt I needed more explanation (apart from the title!), or that I was missing the point of a joke. And yes, it's funny, very very funny. The first half depends a great deal on the barbarian orc, whose low charisma rating manifests itself in explosions of bodily fluids and a great deal of swearing and aggression, which palls fairly rapidly, but the second half is much more clever, and laugh out loud humour right the way through. The appearance of the sister (as a half-elf druid with antler’s horns) and her boyfriend (a muscular type transformed into a wimpy bard) liven things up greatly.
The plot - well, it's all pretty silly, but completely logical within the constructs of the game. There were multiple times where a solution took me by surprise yet was satisfyingly consistent, and the ending is ingenious and unexpected, setting things up very nicely for the next book. The characters don't have a great deal of depth (but then a barbarian orc is bound to be fairly one-note), but they adapt very nicely to their changed circumstances and learn to use their abilities over the course of the book. The only big negative for me was that so many of the jokes depend on what can only be described as adolescent humour - a lot of four-letter-words, gross-out descriptions of blood, vomit and worse, dismembered corpses and the like. I'm not offended by such things, but it's a very cheap type of humour, and although a certain amount is fine, and it's in character for the barbarian, the best moments for me were the more subtle ones - such as the halfling having a sister who’s half-human and half-elf, or having to use a British accent to understand elvish. There's enough humour inherent in the situation to make the juvenile jokes unnecessary. This is an entertaining light-hearted read, and I'm tempted to say three stars because of the silliness, but I've had a bad week (stupid cold) and this book cheered me up no end and made me laugh. Four stars.
I've never played D&D, and my only contact with the culture was reading 'The Elfish Gene' many years ago, so a lot of this could have been incomprehensible to me. It's a testament to the author's skill that it wasn't; there was never a point where I felt I needed more explanation (apart from the title!), or that I was missing the point of a joke. And yes, it's funny, very very funny. The first half depends a great deal on the barbarian orc, whose low charisma rating manifests itself in explosions of bodily fluids and a great deal of swearing and aggression, which palls fairly rapidly, but the second half is much more clever, and laugh out loud humour right the way through. The appearance of the sister (as a half-elf druid with antler’s horns) and her boyfriend (a muscular type transformed into a wimpy bard) liven things up greatly.
The plot - well, it's all pretty silly, but completely logical within the constructs of the game. There were multiple times where a solution took me by surprise yet was satisfyingly consistent, and the ending is ingenious and unexpected, setting things up very nicely for the next book. The characters don't have a great deal of depth (but then a barbarian orc is bound to be fairly one-note), but they adapt very nicely to their changed circumstances and learn to use their abilities over the course of the book. The only big negative for me was that so many of the jokes depend on what can only be described as adolescent humour - a lot of four-letter-words, gross-out descriptions of blood, vomit and worse, dismembered corpses and the like. I'm not offended by such things, but it's a very cheap type of humour, and although a certain amount is fine, and it's in character for the barbarian, the best moments for me were the more subtle ones - such as the halfling having a sister who’s half-human and half-elf, or having to use a British accent to understand elvish. There's enough humour inherent in the situation to make the juvenile jokes unnecessary. This is an entertaining light-hearted read, and I'm tempted to say three stars because of the silliness, but I've had a bad week (stupid cold) and this book cheered me up no end and made me laugh. Four stars.
January 24, 2013
'Critical Failures' is the story of a geek called Tim who arranges weekly a role playing game similar to Dungeons & Dragons. Tim & three friends make the mistake of inviting stranger Mordred to play with them and they end up at his mercy when he puts them inside the game after they insult him.
It isn't hard to grasp any of the role playing game rules if you're unfamiliar with them, things are explained as the story moves along and it all makes sense. How exactly Mordred puts them inside the game doesn't really get fully explained but that wasn't a concern for me, it was an interesting enough concept not to question it too much.
The characters are brilliant, particulary Cooper who winds up an Orc with a horrendously low charisma score which makes him utterly disgusting to be around - I don't think I've ever thought 'Yuck!' so much in my life! The dialogue is fantastic, it really brings the characters to life and adds to the humorous tone. There's honestly nothing I didn't like about this book. Even the situations Bevan puts his characters in seem to be designed for maximum hilarity.
To sum up, this book really made me laugh. I loved it. The ending made me want a sequel, right now!
It isn't hard to grasp any of the role playing game rules if you're unfamiliar with them, things are explained as the story moves along and it all makes sense. How exactly Mordred puts them inside the game doesn't really get fully explained but that wasn't a concern for me, it was an interesting enough concept not to question it too much.
The characters are brilliant, particulary Cooper who winds up an Orc with a horrendously low charisma score which makes him utterly disgusting to be around - I don't think I've ever thought 'Yuck!' so much in my life! The dialogue is fantastic, it really brings the characters to life and adds to the humorous tone. There's honestly nothing I didn't like about this book. Even the situations Bevan puts his characters in seem to be designed for maximum hilarity.
To sum up, this book really made me laugh. I loved it. The ending made me want a sequel, right now!
January 10, 2020
I'm going to copy and paste one of the reviews from here. The original reviewer explains why she rated this one star, which happens to be exactly why I'm giving it five stars.
"It seems like it was written by a misogynistic, homophobic 13 year old boy, who thinks that swear words are effective vocabulary, and friendships consist of being unkind to one another."
"It seems like it was written by a misogynistic, homophobic 13 year old boy, who thinks that swear words are effective vocabulary, and friendships consist of being unkind to one another."
September 27, 2012
For anyone who knows and loves DnD or any other table-top roleplaying system, this will probably be a three or a four. For others, I couldn't say. If you belong to the first group, you should check it out - it will at the very least entertain you for a little while!
May 22, 2013
Short, breezy, and a whole lot of fun. This ain't an art book, and you won't learn a lesson about what it is to be truly alone or how humanity connects to the greater universe on a spiritual level, but you will read about slapstick decapitations and confused-horse-summoning wizards.
October 21, 2012
A highly amusing tale, Critical Failures brings us into a world where role playing suddenly becomes real with the help of a pair of magic dice. Tim, a young man with serious geek personality brings together his group of friends to play a version of fantasy role playing cards under the mysterious tutelage of Mordred, a creepy fat guy in a purple cape. The gang thinks they are just there for the usual night of beer drinking and role-playing. But one member, Conner, with a serious 'tude, pushes to many of the dungeon master's buttons and Mordred dumps the whole group into the world itself. Thus we follow the players in the suddenly very real world of orcs, elves, knights and other fantasy nasties. What is one to do when you actually are a level one wizard with low intelligence? Will they get out alive?
Bevan does a brilliant job in bringing out the inner geek in all of us. He plays with the secretive longing of every fantasy fan out there by making come true what every gamer wishes, the game a reality. In an absurd and often funny prose, we follow the antics of a group of geeks asked to walk the walk. The prose is well done, the story is amusing and the setting is fantastic. I highly recommend this read to anyone who has never participated in role-playing, but has always been curious. It was quite eye-opening to me and made me want to go find a D&D group and dungeon master.
Warning, however, the bodily functions of said characters (ie orcs, trolls) are well described if not graphically so. It was almost to a point of too much, and I found myself skimming some of the descriptions, not so much in disgust but boredom of the same gross depiction of troll fluids and orc snot. My other small complaint would be the insane amount of use of the f-word. I don’t mind the occasional curse word here or there, it can make sh*t real. But the way the f-bomb was thrown about in the character's dialogue bordered on the ridiculous, if not downright unbelievable. Nobody talks that way and it was to a point that it distracted from the dialogue.
However, if you are willing to wade through some bodily fluids and ignore the gratuitous cursing, then you are in for a treat. Critical Failures is an absorbing, fast-paced, enjoyable fantasy read. The end leaves you hanging but satisfied, happily anticipating the sequel.
Bevan does a brilliant job in bringing out the inner geek in all of us. He plays with the secretive longing of every fantasy fan out there by making come true what every gamer wishes, the game a reality. In an absurd and often funny prose, we follow the antics of a group of geeks asked to walk the walk. The prose is well done, the story is amusing and the setting is fantastic. I highly recommend this read to anyone who has never participated in role-playing, but has always been curious. It was quite eye-opening to me and made me want to go find a D&D group and dungeon master.
Warning, however, the bodily functions of said characters (ie orcs, trolls) are well described if not graphically so. It was almost to a point of too much, and I found myself skimming some of the descriptions, not so much in disgust but boredom of the same gross depiction of troll fluids and orc snot. My other small complaint would be the insane amount of use of the f-word. I don’t mind the occasional curse word here or there, it can make sh*t real. But the way the f-bomb was thrown about in the character's dialogue bordered on the ridiculous, if not downright unbelievable. Nobody talks that way and it was to a point that it distracted from the dialogue.
However, if you are willing to wade through some bodily fluids and ignore the gratuitous cursing, then you are in for a treat. Critical Failures is an absorbing, fast-paced, enjoyable fantasy read. The end leaves you hanging but satisfied, happily anticipating the sequel.
August 11, 2015
Critical Failures by Robert Bevan is a humorous novel about four friends who are getting together to play a game of "Caverns and Creatures" or C&C (a.k.a. Dungeons and Dragons) with a new Cavern Master who they found online and never met before.
In no time the group gets on the bad side of the Cavern Master and as punishment he traps them inside the world of C&C as their characters. Soon they discover that their actions and choices have consequences and adventure ensues.
While the concept behind this story is nothing new—even the rules and concepts in the game seem an exact copy of D&D—I found myself unable to put this book down. The story is a good blend of mystery, adventure and humor. I probably woke my wife up on more than one occasion literally laughing out loud several times.
I would readily recommend this book to anyone who enjoys fantasy and/or role-playing games. While it helps to be familiar with the general rules of role-playing games, Bevan does a decent job at explaining it without over-explaining.
Critical Failures is the first book in a trilogy, and I will definitely be picking up the other books.
In no time the group gets on the bad side of the Cavern Master and as punishment he traps them inside the world of C&C as their characters. Soon they discover that their actions and choices have consequences and adventure ensues.
While the concept behind this story is nothing new—even the rules and concepts in the game seem an exact copy of D&D—I found myself unable to put this book down. The story is a good blend of mystery, adventure and humor. I probably woke my wife up on more than one occasion literally laughing out loud several times.
I would readily recommend this book to anyone who enjoys fantasy and/or role-playing games. While it helps to be familiar with the general rules of role-playing games, Bevan does a decent job at explaining it without over-explaining.
Critical Failures is the first book in a trilogy, and I will definitely be picking up the other books.
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