Mums Like Us

by Laura Kemp

Attention, all lardies!

Are you sick to death of mum-upmanship at the school gates?

Have you had your fill of Mother Superiors who lose their baby weight in six weeks while you're still carrying yours years later?

Do you crave the company of like-minded mums who will admit motherhood smells not of roses but of dirty nappies?

Well, look no further than Mums Like Us, a weekly group where knackered mums can let rip about kids, husbands and work.

So join our rejection of perfection, and fight for 'good enough' parenting. And drink. And lots of cake.

Stella Smith

Mums Like Us Chairwoman

448 pages, Paperback

First published February 28, 2013

About the author

Laura Kemp writes tender but hilarious romantic comedies which are unashamed love letters to the everywoman.
Her uplifting message - based on the notion that everything is research apart from the rude bits - is 'You Don't Know How Brilliant You Are!'.
A journalist who has written for The Guardian, The Daily Mail and The Sun amongst others, she is married with a son in Cardiff, where she pretends to be a domestic revolutionary so she doesn't have to do the ironing. Runs to eat crisps and drink wine, adores her mates and loves her dog, Lego and sweary cross-stitch.

What they say about Laura's books...

'Witty, warm and wise with the funniest one-liners - totally loved every page. Laura Kemp delivers another winner' MILLY JOHNSON.

'Warm, funny, sweet *and* spicy, what a fab read' LUCY DIAMOND.

'A warm-hearted, laugh-out-loud story of the things we do (or don't do) in pursuit of love. Sexy, witty and wise, with moments that will steal your heart, prepare to fall for Frankie Green!' MIRANDA DICKINSON.

'Gorgeous! Funny, clever, romantic and real, it's brilliant' Rachael Lucas.

'Read this book while on holiday - and loved it! I would highly recommend!' Rachel Abbott.

'Fun but with real heart' Fabulous Magazine
Fantastically funny - Allison Pearson, I Don't Know How She Does It
Brilliantly funny - Fiona Gibson, Mum on the Run author
Witty, brilliantly written - Fabulous mag
Funny and poignant - The Sun
Funny and gutsy - Sainsbury's mag

Her sixth book Bring Me Sunshine is coming 2019 - ebook in March and paperback in June.
Also published by Orion, A Year of Surprising Acts of Kindness is out now.
Other titles are The Late Blossoming of Frankie Green and Whatever Happened to Vicky Hope's Back Up Man?, with Head of Zeus and Mums Like Us and Mums on Strike, published by Arrow.
She is represented by Lizzy Kremer at David Higham.
For all her book news go to Laura Kemp Books on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/TheLauraKemp

Reviews

[Deborah · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really thought I was going to love Mums Like Us. The concept behind it was a good one. A small group of friends band together to create a club where women are encouraged to just be good enough in their role as mothers (as opposed to the impossible goal of perfection). What's not to love about that? Apparently nothing at all (at least as far as this fictional group is concerned). Within the twelve months spanned by the story, the club grows from a small group meeting in the main character's kitchen, to a worldwide phenomenon. So impacting is the Mums Like Us group that their chairperson is being lauded left, right and centre by international media, the prime minister, and even the wife of the President of the United States.

Possible, perhaps ... but somewhat stretching my ability to believe, as was a lot of the behaviour by main character, Stella (for example, what she did at the White House).

However, I would have taken all that on board as a bit of escapist fun, except for the way this book was communicated. The author definitely took a risk by choosing to write the story the way she did. Some readers may enjoy the different style, but I found it too restrictive and annoying. Apart from one telephone conversation, the entire book is written from two points of view--that of Stella and her husband Matt. The two points of view would have been fine, except they were communicated completely as though through one sided correspondence or addresses to meetings of the Mums Like Us group or Matt's Dad's Football group.

Although Matt fared okay with this style of writing, it was not so kind to Stella, who came across to the reader as extremely self-absorbed. This may have been intentional, to a point; however, even if that was the intention, I had great difficulty warming to her because of it.

For one thing, she was a bucket mouth. Goodness me, was nothing private to that woman? She helps out her nemesis, (the chairperson of the Mothers Superior group) at a special function when this woman got herself into a bit of a self-induced state. That was really nice of Stella, you may be thinking (and that kindness was later acknowledged by the other woman with a delivery of flowers to say "thank you"). But what did Stella do? Send an email to every member of the Mums Like Us group after the event, including information as to exactly what the Mothers Superior Chairperson had been doing in the toilet cubicle. This is one example of her blurting out way too much information (personal to her or to others) to way too many people, with the expectation that what happens in the group stays in the group (sure ... that would happen in the real world).

Apart from that, I also constantly found myself thinking how ridiculous both groups were--the Mums Like Us and the Mothers Superior. Both had rules for what you could and could not do, and both sets of rules were excessive (such as "You can diet, but you can't lose weight," for the Mums Like Us, but then Stella herself mentions how losing a few pounds does make us feel better.) Of course, I can see the satire in it, and the attempt to make something so over the top that it makes a point, but too often I was left thinking that there is a place right in the middle where, as a mother, you do what is right for you and your family.

I was also left wondering whether Stella protested way too much about her workload as a mother when the group first started. If she was so sleep-deprived and lacking the energy or time to clean, wash her hair, shower or change her clothes for days at a time, how exactly did she find the time to run this group (constant activities, press releases, functions, meetings, blog updates, correspondence, etc)?

My last negative comment was that I felt the coarse language was way overdone and unnecessary, as was her pet name for all the club members ("lardies" instead of "ladies"). Great way to make people feel good in their own skin ... not.

On the positive side, and there were some positive aspects, the author does use the fictional Mums Like Us group to open a conversation regarding motherhood and provide food for thought to the very real readers who may be struggling to live up to unrealistic ideals of perfection in motherhood. Perhaps, if nothing else, this book may give them the permission they think they need to just be themselves.

[Sonia · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received this as an advance review copy, but didn’t manage to read it until a couple of weeks after it had been published. Oops!

Mums Like Us is a weekly group for ‘normal’ mums. Those who don’t manage to hold down a high-flying job, look immaculate every moment of the day, exercise before the rest of the household is up, have perfect children and throw extravagant parties for their successful husbands.

Mums Like Us is for the average mums. The ones who can barely prise their eyes open in the morning, often do the school run in their PJs, whose houses are a permanent sticky mess and who plonk their kids in front of the TV to eat their dinner while they open a bottle of wine.

Stella Smith is the Chairwoman of the group and the story is written in the form of direct addresses or emails from her to the club members, or news stories. Interspersed are emails from her husband to his brother or members of his mediochre football team of fellow dads.

There are elements of the book that I absolutely loved – the idea of ‘Mother Superiors’ – those that look down their nose at other mums who just don’t seem to cope as well as them and have as amazing a life. Those who think that your average mum just isn’t trying hard enough – and we’ve all encountered them, haven’t we? Especially at that Mother Superior hallowed ground that Stella coins the ‘Nasty Childbirth Trust’.

My experience of the NCT in Stoke Newington was one of the key elements to put me off the area completely – so hearing it coined so vehemently in this book was a wondrous feeling for me! :)

The idea of mums being ‘good enough’ – the Mums Like Us slogan really is something I could buy into. Just this week, I have been feeling that eternal guilt of parenthood. And The Girl is 13 years old – no little toddler. I have always had that feeling that I haven’t done the right thing for her, and I don’t think that’s any different from most mums.

So – lots of great things in the book, which were tugging at all the right strings – as well as being very funny.

However, the format just didn’t quite work for me. The form it took as a form of address just grated occasionally – it felt very unnatural. It was the same with Matt’s emails. They both revealed so much intimacy that I felt they wouldn’t really have done in ‘real’ life. It felt that what they were saying was really what they would have been thinking in their head, which was perfectly natural, but you wouldn’t share that with a roomful of people!

I also wasn’t sure of the way that Stella addresses the group as ‘lardies’ rather than ladies. many of the ‘good enough’ mums I know are stick then because they’re trying to do too much at once, so it felt a little derogatory to insinuate that mums that don’t try to hard will all be a bit porky.

Unfortunately, being within the first line of the book, it took me aback somewhat, and I’m not sure I ever really warmed to Stella completely after that.

So, unique, witty, vociferous and with a good strong message…but it just didn’t quite hit every spot for me due to the format.

I would recommend that all those ‘good enough’ mums read it though. Preferfably with a glass of wine…or two!

[Leah · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I heard about Mums Like Us, I wasn’t sure if it was really the book for me. I’m 22, no where near being a mother (if I ever will) but I really, really liked the synopsis for the novel. I loved Stella’s open letter to all mothers out there, and I admit, I was intrigued about mothers who aren’t perfect, because at the end of the day, that’s 90% of mothers, isn’t it? Yet the only mothers you ever read about seem to be the so-called Mother Superiors, so I was really looking forward to reading about a normal mother for a change.

Mums Like Us is possibly one of the most uniquely written books, ever. It’s written in a way I don’t even know how to describe. In fact, I asked Laura how she would describe it and she said chatty, as if you’re there in Stella’s kitchen and that sums it up perfectly. It isn’t written traditionally, the way a normal book is written, the entire novel is pretty much in the same vein as the synopsis. It’s like you’re sat there in Stella’s kitchen, like you’re part of the Mums Like Us group. I’ll be honest, it’s a bit weird at first, but I soon got used to it and it definitely makes the novel stand out because it’s not a writing style you’ll come across very often.

I found the novel a bit overwhelming if I’m honest, not having any experience of being a mother, this book sort of put me off. It sounds awful – sure, kids are undoubtedly the best thing you can ever have, if you’re that way inclined, but man! It sounds like hard work. But I liked the book, it didn’t resonate with me the way it will resonate with most, and mothers EVERYWHERE will be nodding at everything Stella believes in, because it’s very real. I love the idea that mothers don’t have to be absolutely fantastic at everything, and I loved that there’s nothing wrong with feeding your child fish fingers (I love fish fingers, grew up with them in fact). I also liked that we didn’t just get Stella’s point of view of being a mum, but also Matt’s view on being a Dad, I thought that was ace, and I would have liked more of him because I thoroughly enjoyed his emails to his brother and his pep talks for his football team.

I really enjoyed Mums Like Us. It surprised me, and I loved it. I loved the writing style, I enjoyed the Mums Like Us campaign, though I had my ups and downs with chairwoman Stella, she’s a bit intense. And perhaps a bit bonkers. But overall I enjoyed the novel. I’ll definitely be checking out Kemp’s second novel when it comes out next year, Mums on Strike, it’ll be interesting if she carries on the same writing style from Mums Like Us or if it’ll be more of a traditionally written novel. Either way is fine with me. This is a book that will resonate with mothers worldwide, and I love that, I love that this is a book that speaks to real, normal people, and if I ever have kids, I will definitely be a Mum Like Us and not a Mother Superior.

[Book-shelf Shelf · Rating 4 out of 5]

Utterly brilliant! Tells it like it really is and is a must read for every mom so we all know we're not alone in the beautiful, rewarding yet demanding, exhausting and stressful path through motherhood.

[Hans Kukreja · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very realistic look at motherhood and the toll of the stress on a woman who has given up on looking like a put together mum who is always enjoying motherhood and simultaneously demonstrate her efficiency and organisational skills and running a club dedicated to bringing down "Mother superiors" who think that anyone can have as perfect a life as theirs if they just put in some effort (and not a few more thousand quid in the bank each month).

[Mrs Sally Gurney · Rating 4 out of 5]

The funny real side to parent life

[Rachel Gilbey · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was OK. There were a lot of witty and also cringe-worthy comments in it, but I think my main problem was I just didn't like Stella Smith and the point of view the book was written from. I felt like I barely got to know any of the characters and it was off putting to my mind that as far I can recall the name of Stella's child was never mentioned, and this was a book about motherhood.

I would probably give Laura Kemp another try if I found a book written in a slightly more traditional way, with more character building.

[Christina Rochester · Rating 3 out of 5]

This one kind of divided opinion in my household. I really enjoyed the format of the book, while my partner hated it and said it had a for dummies feel to it.
The storyline frustrated both of us at parts where Stella got on our very last nerve, and when it became just unbelievable.
Another thing that annoyed me was that we never find out the name of Stella's child .... 448 pages for that? You can see what I mean by bits being unbelievable.
However theres also some brilliant laugh out loud moments and this is still worth a read.

[Lydia Roshanzamir · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book, although some events were a little far fetched. The message behind it though struck a huge chord with me. My daughter is only 3 and already I have had enough of the 'Mum wars'. It is a wonderfully uplifting read, a form of escapism that you can actually relate to. It makes me want to start my own mums like us group, although I find I am in between a Mums Like Us and a Mother Superior...

[Cathryn Kemp · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great uplifting read for anyone bogged down by motherhood.

[Shadi Azad · Rating 2 out of 5]

Honest way of talking,good ideas for women daily problems
Good enough

[Louise · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars

[Liz Green · Rating 5 out of 5]

I laughed so hard at this book - could relate so much to it - a must read !!!!!

[Ingrid Wassenaar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lovely book -- fun, but with a serious message about how mothers are asked to be perfect in skewed ways.

[Tara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Could of done without all the swearing

[Kasthuri BV · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved the concept but the way the book was written in a monotonous tone was a letdown. I did relate to much as a mom! Good read :)