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148 pages, ebook
First published May 16, 2013
"Foreword (is Forearmed)
I be a writer! Aye, a writer with balls!
I’ve got me some friends and this be our caterwaul
We’re bound in a book, like lovers, page to page
Though “fuck buddies” sounds so current; get with the age
S.A. McAuley be here in these pages
She’s not got a dick, but her writing is contagious
Not saying you’ll catch anything if you pick up this book
Just square up some time, cuz you’re gonna be hooked
Then there’s Abi Roux, a favorite of many
She’s written tales of love and woe thrilling plenty
And if that rhyme you thought at all hokey
Go back to the ranch, Mr. Cow-Pokey
There’s a new voice here, Jason Huffman-Black
And with a SMACK he attacks this Crack
A sweet guy, sure, and talented too
A lovely addition to the Crack Crew
SJD Peterson tells a mad tale here
The darkest of the lot, it’ll fuck you in the rear
But fuck you in a good way, you understand
There’s no need for (most) people to reprimand
I have a special fondness for Tj Klune
His words can brighten your day and hang the moon
Romantic, huh? What can I say?
Love is strange and Tj is… a big ol’ homosessual
And then there’s me, Eric the Arvin
Into music, art, and pumpkin carvin’
My tales are strange, aye, my forewords are bad and bazaar
Judge me not, ya bastards! Who do you think you are?
So, here we are, the Crack Crew, collected at last
Warriors of a kind with an unkind task
To convince you that our strange tales have stranger worth
And remember ye, every one was a pain in the ass to birth.
Have a nice day.
-Eric Arvin"