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Chocolate Lovers #3.5

Hearts and Llamas

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A Valentine's Day short story from the Chocolate Lover's gang.

17 pages, Unknown Binding

First published February 4, 2013

33 people are currently reading
4146 people want to read

About the author

Tara Sivec

71 books10.3k followers
Tara Sivec is a USA Today best-selling author, wife, mother, chauffeur, maid, short-order cook, baby-sitter, and sarcasm expert. She lives in Ohio with her husband and two children and looks forward to the day when all three of them become adults and move out.

After working in the brokerage business for fourteen years, Tara decided to pick up a pen and write instead of shoving it in her eye out of boredom. She writes in a wide range of genres including Romantic Comedy, Romantic Comedy/Mystery, Romantic Suspense, New Adult Drama, Contemporary Romance and Psychological Thriller. Her novel Seduction and Snacks won first place in the Indie Romance Convention Reader's Choice Awards 2013 for Best Indie First Book and she was voted Best Indie Author in the Indie Romance Convention Reader's Choice Awards 2014.

In her spare time, Tara loves to dream about all of the baking she'll do and naps she'll take when she ever gets spare time.

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5 stars
2,495 (47%)
4 stars
1,665 (32%)
3 stars
825 (15%)
2 stars
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1 star
41 (<1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 365 reviews
Profile Image for Carol [Goodreads Addict].
3,048 reviews25.3k followers
February 17, 2025
Hearts and Llamas is book #3.5 in the Chocolate Lovers series by Tara Sivec. This is a very short little novella that centers on our three couples and Valentine’s Day.

Carter wants to get Claire the perfect Valentine’s Day gift this year but doesn’t know what to get her. So of course, he goes to his two closest friends, Jim and Drew for advice. Which you know is going to be super zany and over the top. In the end, he’s on his own to figure out what is perfect for his wife. And, you know he’ll figure it out.

This was so sweet and a perfect way to wrap up the series. You can get the first three books of the series individually but this novella is only part of the Chocolate Lovers Box Set. It’s a wonderful, fun series and I enjoyed them all so much.

For more about this book and so many others, come and visit me at Carol's Crazy Bookish World.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/Carol...

Profile Image for AJ.
3,253 reviews1,071 followers
February 5, 2013
A very funny little short featuring the Chocolate Lovers gang (including a 10 year old Gavin) preparing for Valentines day. The humour is OTT, and just what you would expect from Ms Sivec and her hilariously smutty brain, but there's also a few moments of sweetness in there too (gotta love Carter!).

On a side note - llamas are random, but always freaking funny...

“It’s totally fine,” I explained to Liz as she paced back and forth behind the couch. “She’s totally housebroken. She’ll go to the door and spit on it when she needs to go out.”

Profile Image for Jayme.
433 reviews466 followers
May 29, 2015

It is very short Valentine's Day story. As a series, fun and nice for the fans who can read something else about their favorite heroes. If you want to know what llama was doing on the cover you need to read this. Seriously, someone can have such ideas? Nothing more to say.
Profile Image for Jennifer Kyle.
2,613 reviews5,404 followers
February 10, 2013
Here is the link for this short Valentine's Day story.

http://www.tarasivec.com/hearts-and-l...

This was a funny and cute story by Tara Sivec. The fellas are trying to figure out the perfect present for their wives, while a girl named Brooklyn has been phoning the house for Gavin.

Oh and by the way, yes there is a llama!

"It’s totally fine,” I explained to Liz as she paced back and forth behind the couch. “She’s totally housebroken. She’ll go to the door and spit on it when she needs to go out.” ~ Jim

Profile Image for Camila (previously the opinionated Catruler).
357 reviews250 followers
February 23, 2015
An ordinary mom would be thrilled that her son has an elementary crush. But Claire is definitely not ordinary.
“She’s calling our house. What ten-year-old girl needs to call a boy’s house? A slutty ten-year-old girl, that’s who. She’s got her sights on our son, and before we know it, she’s going to be giving him blow jobs on the back of the bus and forcing him to watch porn with her. This is our BABY, Carter!”
Profile Image for Pam.
1,093 reviews1,073 followers
February 12, 2013
"Her name is Princess Sugar-Britches, and she is your Valentine's Day present!"

Loved catching up with all my fav's! I'm wonder if we're ever gonna get a story about Liz and Jim ...
Profile Image for Kara.
1,417 reviews25 followers
October 26, 2013
That's so gonna be me when the girls start calling!!
Profile Image for Jessie.
39 reviews
February 5, 2013
As always....HILARIOUS!!! I just can't get enough of these books!! Tara Sivec is my new favorite author! Although short, you're guaranteed to laugh! Same great characters and same amazing humor! Love it!!


“She’s calling our house. What ten-year-old girl needs to call a boy’s house? A slutty ten-year-old girl, that’s who. She’s got her sights on our son, and before we know it, she’s going to be giving him blow jobs on the back of the bus and forcing him to watch porn with her. This is our BABY, Carter!”

Profile Image for Ivana Azap Feješ.
217 reviews44 followers
December 3, 2016
Hearts and Llamas is a short story about Claire and Carter's Valentines Day. A very funny little short featuring the Chocolate Lovers gang (including a 10 year old Gavin) preparing for Valentines day. An ordinary mom would be thrilled that her son has an elementary crush. But Claire is definitely not ordinary. The fellas are trying to figure out the perfect present for their wives, while a girl named Brooklyn has been phoning the house for Gavin. Back to what we love so much about Tara Sivek she writes a short story for Valetines built around the three couples and one goofy boy we have come to know and love. In this book Gavin is 10 and one of the little girls in his class has a crush on him. I love Claire's reaction to this little girl. "Little Skankasaurus Rex" talking about a 10 year old little girl! Bhahah ha! "Fourth grade floozy" lmao!

A really cute Valentine's Day story about the gang that mainly focuses on Claire and Carter who I just love. Kudos to Brooklyn! The humour is OTT, and just what you would expect from Ms Sivec and her hilariously smutty brain, but there's also a few moments of sweetness in there too (gotta love Carter!). On a side note - llamas are random, but always freaking funny... Loved catching up with all my fav's! I'm wonder if we're ever gonna get a story about Liz and Jim ... This was a funny and cute story by Tara Sivec. Oh and by the way, yes there is a llama! aueah! The old Tara is back. Enjoy! Very cute short story!! That llama story was hysterical!! Hilarious! Tara, you are one amazing writer! It's a cute short story. Hilarious! Loved this little excerpt!

I square my body towards her and wiggle the fingers of my hands as they hang down at my sides, wishing I wore worn my gun belt. Wishing I had a gun belt.

Is this some new form of warfare? Kill the enemy with kindness? Her skills are no match for mine. NO MATCH! And she speaks in nothing but exclamations. I don't know whether to challenge her to a cage fighting match or braid her hair.

I'm totally going to cry. Right here in the middle of this fourth grade class. I am going to curl up in the fetal position sucking my thumb and sobbing like a baby.

“It’s totally fine,” I explained to Liz as she paced back and forth behind the couch. “She’s totally housebroken. She’ll go to the door and spit on it when she needs to go out.”

“She’s calling our house. What ten-year-old girl needs to call a boy’s house? A slutty ten-year-old girl, that’s who. She’s got her sights on our son, and before we know it, she’s going to be giving him blow jobs on the back of the bus and forcing him to watch porn with her. This is our BABY, Carter!”

"Her name is Princess Sugar-Britches, and she is your Valentine's Day present!"

"Even when he's in the fifth grade and those little bitches pull out the big guns and start getting boob jobs and vaginal rejuvenation surgeries."
256 reviews14 followers
February 7, 2013
Oh my gosh! I laughed so hard I was in tears. Claire had me in stitches talking about Brooklyn! And that last line from Carter talking about the girls in 5th grade....hysterical! Good ole Jenny and her word vomit...many pettings...LMAO! And the freaking llama story and shit in the purse. Oh my gawd! I love love love this gang and cant wait to read more. Tara Sivec is the best! I laugh out loud just thinking about the Chocolate series gang.
Profile Image for Silkeeeeeereads.
1,451 reviews95 followers
February 5, 2013
aueah! The old Tara is back. Back to what we love so much about Tara Sivek she writes a short story for Valetines built around the three couples and one goofy boy we have come to know and love. It's a free read of TaraSivek.com. Enjoy!
Profile Image for phoebess.
1,521 reviews98 followers
March 3, 2018
This was a funny little thing. "She'll go to the door and spit on it when she needs to go out," had me laughing so hard I nearly fell off my chair.
Profile Image for Bronwyn.
1,471 reviews37 followers
October 14, 2022
Short Valentine’s exchange between Claire, Carter and the gang. Nothing spectacular. The llama story between Jim and Liz wasn’t funny. It was actually kinda gross. I often wonder about the reason for stories like this. They’re probably fine to include in a newsletter, but that’s about it. I think it took me about 10 minutes to read.
Profile Image for Anas Attic  Book Blog.
1,599 reviews698 followers
February 23, 2013
Read more of my reviews and ramblings at Ana's Attic Book Blog

“She’s calling our house. What ten-year-old girl needs to call a boy’s house? A slutty ten-year-old girl, that’s who. She’s got her sights on our son, and before we know it, she’s going to be giving him blow jobs on the back of the bus and forcing him to watch porn with her. This is our BABY, Carter!”

Hearts and Llamas is a FREE Valentine’s short story for the Chocolate Lovers series. You have no idea how happy this made me when I saw it! I can’t let my favorite series end.

I read this on Valentines Day, BEFORE I met, and was roomies for a whole weekend with the crazy bitch, Tara Sivec. I laughed my ass off and loved it, thinking how over the top her humor is. IT’S NOT. Tara is even funnier in real life! I think every story is based on truth, and having a llama in your living room is something I can totally see happening with this chick. Totally.

This book centers around Valentines Day obviously, and Claire is having some issues with the whore that wants her son. I get this….but as soon as they are nice to you, it all changes (until they break your kid’s heart!). All of the women are wondering what the guys will get them for Valentine’s day. Liz is smart…she gives a list, after the last gift wasn’t received too well.

“Dude, a pet llama? How in the fuck could anyone hate that? That is just full of awesome right there,” Drew tells him.

Let’s just say, what happened to a Coach Purse was sacrilege.

Jenny appears in this book as well, and she just cracks me up.

“Did you just say many pettings? Do I even want to know what you’re talking about?”

And as a person who has Lyme disease, this made me pee a little.

“You know, you could have gotten Key Lime Disease from something like that, Liz. Llamas have these little bugs called sticks that carry Key Lime. I saw it on Animal Planet,” Jenny states.
“I think Key Lime Disease is cured with whip cream,” Liz adds with a snort.


But the really good part about Tara’s writing, is it isn’t always over the top hysteria, there is always some sweet romance thrown in. And Carter couldn’t have given a better Valentine to Claire <3

Rating: 5 Stars, 0 Heat, 10 Laughter

Please visit my blog Ana's Attic Book Blog Like me on Facebook
Profile Image for Olga.
566 reviews43 followers
September 11, 2016
Oh, God I laughed so hard my stomach muscles hurt.
I just met Claire, the Mama Bear. Fear the jealous mom! But she is hysterical and I loved this short story so much!!!

And holy jeans! (to borrow from Drew)... http://www.smileycodes.info ... the llama story!!!!

Now I'm so excited to read Gavin's book that I'm afraid I'll break something with my excitement!! Squeeeeeee
Profile Image for Lariza.
368 reviews75 followers
February 10, 2013
Wow a great story!! It was so funny I couldn't stop laughing! We see the whole gang again plus a llama! Valentines day is around the corner and we see what everyone is up too! Claire isn't too happy that a fellow classmate has a crush on Gavin, her baby. Of course, hilarity ensues as she goes to his class to take cupcakes. Jenny, Liz, Jim and Drew are a hoot! Carter is awesome. A great short read!
Profile Image for T.H..
Author 40 books1,006 followers
March 2, 2013
I love love love these people...once again in only a few short words I was laughing hysterically!! In the craziness of Valentines the happy couples discuss their plans and past horrific Valentines. The best is Claire's reaction to the lil girl calling Gavin. Having a lil boy myself I can see where she is coming from. Thanks for the treat!!
Profile Image for Dali.
2,088 reviews592 followers
October 4, 2013
Yeah! A great gift from Tara, totally sweet and funny :)
Profile Image for Kelle.
303 reviews
October 3, 2013
Very cute short story!! That llama story was hysterical!!
Profile Image for Lovey.
77 reviews3 followers
March 30, 2014
This was a really short story...only 17 pages. But I love the crazy antics of Claire, Carter and the rest of the Seduction & Snacks gang. Although I will admit that the last installment (Troubles and Treats) didn't really interest me --probably because it was based on Drew and Jenny; and not about Claire and Carter-- but I would read the back of a cereal box if it had anything to do with these crazy as hell, funny couples.

It's been a long while since I've read anything about them and this little short story was great at refreshing my memory of why I loved this series in the first place. I did wish it were a bit longer though, 17 pages just isn't enough. But all in all, it's better then nothing right?

I love how everyone is pretty much exactly the same, and they're all still very close to one another, even though so many years have gone by. I can't remember how long it's been since Troubles and Treats but in this one (Hearts and Llamas) Gavin is 10yrs old already!! It feels like it was only yesterday, when he was a 4yr old kid running around and kicking Carter in the balls. I tell you, that spunky little monster made those books so entertaining for me!

Anyways back to Hearts and Llamas, Valentines day is coming up and the guys are trying to figure out what they should get for their Ladies. Being guys, it hard to pick something romantic and surprising that their partner would actually want. And that's where everything starts. I won't say anything beyond that, because it's such a short story. But there you go, in a nut shell, if you love these characters this short story won't let you down. Simple and sweet. Loved it!

Profile Image for Roni Guzman.
251 reviews11 followers
May 9, 2013
Okay I LOVED this book!!! I laughed so hard I had tears come out my eyes and I couldn't breathe. Tara Sivec is one of the funniest authors I have ever seen. I have never read any books like hers. Especially when you try to read this at work and you are trying to look busy and professional but have a hard time keeping a straight face. I would recommend not to read this at work. Claire kills me in this book with how she dealt with a little girl interested in her son.

Oh and then Jenny!!! Who can forget Jenny LOL See a quote of Jenny talking to Claire:

"You know, that’s what Liz does for Jim. She told me that a few weeks ago when we were getting many pettings,” Jenny informs me. “Did you just say many pettings? Do I even want to know what you’re talking about?” Jenny sighs and rolls her eyes. “Duh. We had our nails and toes done at the salon. How have you never gotten a many pettings before? It’s like you live in a cave or something, Claire,”

And the llama story was the best part. This story is priceless!!! How does she come up with this stuff???? LOL
Profile Image for Jennifer.
111 reviews11 followers
August 17, 2016
Uncensored Smut.™
Full blog review on this book & more!

I couldn't really review on each individual book (I kind of let it all run tosh they), but let me tell you—This shit is HILARIOUS! Claire and Carter have a drunken frat party one night stand, Claire gets pregnant, then reconnects (after finding each other again 5 years later) when Gavin is age 4. Jim and Liz (Claire's best friend) met at that same drunken party and have been together ever since. Drew (Carter's best friend that was rejected by Liz at that party) and Jenny (friend of Liz and Claire's) met when Carter and Drew were transferred to a new automotive plant that Jim works at, while having dinner with the other two couples. Witty, awesomely inappropriate, sex, sex toys, crazy chocolate treats, and a bunch of kids to have a zoo habitat—all in this series. I don't believe you will regret anything at all by going ahead and buying both the Chocolate Lovers and Chocoholics series, right now. Right fucking now. Tara, you are one amazing writer!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
980 reviews39 followers
September 22, 2016
(Sep) What was I thinking, paying $0.99 for a 17 page book?! Worse, what kind of horrible person writes what is barely more than the back of a cereal box and has the nerve to charge for it, instead of putting it free on her website or making it part of a (free) subscription newsletter. I respect authors and the work that goes into writing a story, but come on?? A snippet part of a series and you charge for it?

Rant aside, this was cute. I love Carter and Claire and I loved seeing Claire go all Mama Bear on the 10 year old girl she thinks is stealing away Gavin's heart. Reminded me of a scene in Bear, Otter and the Kid where Otter goes nuts imagining the Kid falling for a woman who destroys his life (the Kid was like 10 at the time as well). Anyway, the title comes from a pretty funny story about how Jim screwed up Valentine's Day for Liz.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 365 reviews

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