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Fallyn #1
Redemption
Shayne
“I was just a normal guy from a normal family planted right dead smack in the middle of Normal Town, U.S.A.”
Shayne Naughton’s world has been turned upside down. His family and friends are acting weird. Strange men are following him or calling his cellphone in the middle of class. A magical purple-haired new kid is doing strange things to his classmates. And a gorgeous, redhead demon is out for his blood, thinking it is the key to unleashing her demon husband from Hell. He used to be just a normal guy until she showed up at his school and changed his world.
Fallyn
“As I fade away, in my last moments I have the tiniest bit of hope that I shall see my father's home once more. In that moment, I will know that I've been redeemed.”
Fallyn Galen has made many, grave, mistakes over her lifetime. She’s accepted her fate. All she wants to do is to make amends before her final punishment. But, then she’s sent to Redemption, Massachusetts and the soul she didn’t know she had connects with him. Now she is alive again and feeling things she’s never felt. Shayne Naughton may just be the redemption she was looking for, if only she can keep him alive for him to learn to love her for exactly who, and what, she is.
Redemption is Venise Webb’s debut novel for the new Fallyn series. An epic battle is brewing between Heaven, Hell and Earth. Right there in the middle of it all is Fallyn and Shayne. Is their soul connection the key to protecting the world or the weapon to destroy it?
“I was just a normal guy from a normal family planted right dead smack in the middle of Normal Town, U.S.A.”
Shayne Naughton’s world has been turned upside down. His family and friends are acting weird. Strange men are following him or calling his cellphone in the middle of class. A magical purple-haired new kid is doing strange things to his classmates. And a gorgeous, redhead demon is out for his blood, thinking it is the key to unleashing her demon husband from Hell. He used to be just a normal guy until she showed up at his school and changed his world.
Fallyn
“As I fade away, in my last moments I have the tiniest bit of hope that I shall see my father's home once more. In that moment, I will know that I've been redeemed.”
Fallyn Galen has made many, grave, mistakes over her lifetime. She’s accepted her fate. All she wants to do is to make amends before her final punishment. But, then she’s sent to Redemption, Massachusetts and the soul she didn’t know she had connects with him. Now she is alive again and feeling things she’s never felt. Shayne Naughton may just be the redemption she was looking for, if only she can keep him alive for him to learn to love her for exactly who, and what, she is.
Redemption is Venise Webb’s debut novel for the new Fallyn series. An epic battle is brewing between Heaven, Hell and Earth. Right there in the middle of it all is Fallyn and Shayne. Is their soul connection the key to protecting the world or the weapon to destroy it?
Kindle Edition
First published February 3, 2013
2 people are currently reading
128 people want to read
About the author
Venise Webb
2 books10 followersVenise Webb grew up in Chicago, Illinois, where she first discovered her passion for books. She wrote her first story in the third grade about the misadventures of a young girl in an inner city school. That passion grew into an obsession for books of all genres and sizes. She now lives in Birmingham, Alabama with her three sons and a big colorful, southern family. When she is not reading, she is making up stories of her own.
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
April 22, 2013
Redemption could be saved by a good editor
Vampires and fallen angels. Redemption adds a new twist to the mythology that should have made for an excellent read. Unfortunately, extremely poor editing buries the fascinating premise under a mountain of wordy explanations, poor word choices, ‘typos’, and overused tension devices.
In this 440 page novel, a fallen angel who created a race of vampires has been given a chance to redeem herself with God, in part, by destroying those creatures of evil. Fallyn is planted as a teenager in a town called Redemption, along with a guardian. She goes about her business with a great deal of resentment and snark, and only begins to develop some compassion after she falls for Shayne - the one person who can touch her without it feeling like she’s being stuck with a million needles.
The best: The concept itself is the best part of the novel. The supernatural world she creates is fascinating, and Webb does a good job of combining action and romance. Her secondary characters are very well developed (if sometimes predictable), and she understands the need for continued tension in the story.
The worst: The protagonist is not terribly likable throughout most of the story, and at first, her love interest isn’t much better. But those were minor issues when stacked against the glaring editorial failures. Unfortunately, the editing was so poor, it overshadowed the entire book for me. Micro-tension is important to keep the story moving, but Revelation tends to overuse it in places where it doesn’t belong. For instance, pages and pages are spent on angst, drama, introspection and dread after Fallyn is tricked by her guardian to stand in front of (gasp) ... an unknown building. Fallyn is told she must go through this trail. She is terrified. The angels are requiring this because they hate her. It’s worse than hell (and she should know). She threatens and attacks her guardian with her supernatural power. And the big reveal? It’s High School.
Some of the over-the-top plot devices could be overlooked. But combined with the many, many wrong word choices, instances of awkward sentence structure, bad grammar and punctuation, repetitive foreshadowing, and random actions that seemed out of character, this book became a slog for me. As for the length, there is a lot of over-explaining where it would be better to let the action speak for itself. A good editor could pare the book by a good third, and make it eminently more readable.
Overall: There is a lot of potential here. I like the underlying values in the story, and Webb manages to convey them without getting preachy. There is gold within the pages, but the serious reader is likely to be turned off long before getting to it.
Recommendation: Fan fiction enthusiasts who enjoy supernatural stories would likely enjoy this novel, as many are quite used to looking past the kinds of errors outlined above. Unfortunately, I cannot recommend it to discriminating readers.
Vampires and fallen angels. Redemption adds a new twist to the mythology that should have made for an excellent read. Unfortunately, extremely poor editing buries the fascinating premise under a mountain of wordy explanations, poor word choices, ‘typos’, and overused tension devices.
In this 440 page novel, a fallen angel who created a race of vampires has been given a chance to redeem herself with God, in part, by destroying those creatures of evil. Fallyn is planted as a teenager in a town called Redemption, along with a guardian. She goes about her business with a great deal of resentment and snark, and only begins to develop some compassion after she falls for Shayne - the one person who can touch her without it feeling like she’s being stuck with a million needles.
The best: The concept itself is the best part of the novel. The supernatural world she creates is fascinating, and Webb does a good job of combining action and romance. Her secondary characters are very well developed (if sometimes predictable), and she understands the need for continued tension in the story.
The worst: The protagonist is not terribly likable throughout most of the story, and at first, her love interest isn’t much better. But those were minor issues when stacked against the glaring editorial failures. Unfortunately, the editing was so poor, it overshadowed the entire book for me. Micro-tension is important to keep the story moving, but Revelation tends to overuse it in places where it doesn’t belong. For instance, pages and pages are spent on angst, drama, introspection and dread after Fallyn is tricked by her guardian to stand in front of (gasp) ... an unknown building. Fallyn is told she must go through this trail. She is terrified. The angels are requiring this because they hate her. It’s worse than hell (and she should know). She threatens and attacks her guardian with her supernatural power. And the big reveal? It’s High School.
Some of the over-the-top plot devices could be overlooked. But combined with the many, many wrong word choices, instances of awkward sentence structure, bad grammar and punctuation, repetitive foreshadowing, and random actions that seemed out of character, this book became a slog for me. As for the length, there is a lot of over-explaining where it would be better to let the action speak for itself. A good editor could pare the book by a good third, and make it eminently more readable.
Overall: There is a lot of potential here. I like the underlying values in the story, and Webb manages to convey them without getting preachy. There is gold within the pages, but the serious reader is likely to be turned off long before getting to it.
Recommendation: Fan fiction enthusiasts who enjoy supernatural stories would likely enjoy this novel, as many are quite used to looking past the kinds of errors outlined above. Unfortunately, I cannot recommend it to discriminating readers.
February 17, 2013
When I saw this, I was so tired of the vampire and fallen angel angle. I noticed that it was free last weekend, so I thought "what the hell?" Since last Friday when I downloaded it to my Kindle, I've been in one heck of a ride. It's not a quick read; a big book like City of Bones, but entertaining through and through. What I loved most about it was the new take on the vampire myths. It gave a fresh and new approach to what vampires came from. Also, as a lover of Buffy and Angel, I loved the ensemble of the cast. There was two main characters, but the book put focus on all of the supporting characters also. And what a group of characters! Not only were there fallen angels and vampires, there were hellhounds, archangels, seers, succubus, and so much more. This wasn't a paranormal novel about one type of supernatural being, but a novel about the paranormal and supernatural. Fallyn and Shayne was amazing together. They had a certain amount of tension and chemistry that made their scenes together explosive and hot. Their snark was pretty funny. Fallyn had the best oneliners but Shayne held his own with her. I loved this book and can't wait for the sequel.
February 20, 2013
Intriguing…Entertaining!
Fallyn started the vampire cult a thousand years ago, and after hundreds of years in punishment, she was released to clean out the scourge she started, and as those things sometimes go, she was sent to a town in the US called Redemption.
Creatures of Revelation and subjects of myths make an appearance in this story. It is intriguing and at the same time disturbing, but when I came to the end of the story, I remembered an advice from a dear friend, “Of matters pertaining to Angels, if it ain’t revealed in scriptures, consider it entertainment”. It is indeed an entertaining read.
Fallyn started the vampire cult a thousand years ago, and after hundreds of years in punishment, she was released to clean out the scourge she started, and as those things sometimes go, she was sent to a town in the US called Redemption.
Creatures of Revelation and subjects of myths make an appearance in this story. It is intriguing and at the same time disturbing, but when I came to the end of the story, I remembered an advice from a dear friend, “Of matters pertaining to Angels, if it ain’t revealed in scriptures, consider it entertainment”. It is indeed an entertaining read.
February 17, 2013
I'm giving my book five stars because it was a delightful, long journey to finish it. I fell in love with the characters instantly. When I started Redemption, it was a completely different story than it ended up being. Even the title is different. But these cast of characters wrapped me up and lead me to where they wanted to go. It should be a crime to love your work this much. I can't wait to see more of their journey and find out where they lead me next. Thank all of you for embarking on this journey with me.
October 6, 2014
It's a shame the writing is so bad because it looks like a very good storyline with interesting character interactions. It is presented with a lot of enthusiasm, but the writing was just too disjointed, with overlong descriptions, awkward sentence combinations, and very glib descriptions of violence. There were a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes, too, but that just needs a good spell-checker so I didn't take off for that even though it does add to the distraction. Hopefully the author's next effort will be much better.
March 8, 2017
Read my English review here: http://www.icecoldpassion.com/2013/04...
Lees mijn Nederlands recensie hier: http://www.ijskoudepassie.com/2013/04...
April 15, 2013
I'm not into vampires or other things that go bump in the night, but I was surprised! The characters came alive and drew me into their world. Found the story line challenging to follow at times, but suspenseful up to the very end.
August 10, 2023
So many spelling and grammar errors...couldn't get past Chapter 2.
July 26, 2013
I received this book free from the Shut Up & Read group in exchange for a review.
I'd rate this a 4 for story, 2 for grammer, and thus average it to be a 3.
Overall, this was an interesting story using a new idea combining the angel/demon genre with the vampire genre. I liked the twist on the origination of vampires and thought the angels/demons religious undertones were done really well. The characters were likeable for the most part and the story kept me engaged wanting to know what was going to happen next. The author is set up to have a sequel, which if she keeps the story unique like this one then it should be a nice addition to the series.
That being said, there are a couple of cons as well. First, this book is 990 pages long! While I love a long story, too much of this was filler that didn't need to be included. As much as 300-400 pages could have been cut out easily and still left the story completely in tact. It would also have helped the pace of the story, since at times it dragged either from too much desciption or repeating situations of the main characters over and over again. How many times does Fallyn really need to explain her hesitancy about her relationship with Shayne. Secondly, I can't stress enough the importance of a good editor. I do not consider myself to be all that proficient in grammer. Thus, when I can find a grammatical error practically every 3rd page, it's really not a good sign and rather distracting to the story.
I'd rate this a 4 for story, 2 for grammer, and thus average it to be a 3.
Overall, this was an interesting story using a new idea combining the angel/demon genre with the vampire genre. I liked the twist on the origination of vampires and thought the angels/demons religious undertones were done really well. The characters were likeable for the most part and the story kept me engaged wanting to know what was going to happen next. The author is set up to have a sequel, which if she keeps the story unique like this one then it should be a nice addition to the series.
That being said, there are a couple of cons as well. First, this book is 990 pages long! While I love a long story, too much of this was filler that didn't need to be included. As much as 300-400 pages could have been cut out easily and still left the story completely in tact. It would also have helped the pace of the story, since at times it dragged either from too much desciption or repeating situations of the main characters over and over again. How many times does Fallyn really need to explain her hesitancy about her relationship with Shayne. Secondly, I can't stress enough the importance of a good editor. I do not consider myself to be all that proficient in grammer. Thus, when I can find a grammatical error practically every 3rd page, it's really not a good sign and rather distracting to the story.
May 29, 2013
POLISHED TO PERFECTION
In this modern literary age of pared-down prose, I have become accustomed to concise fiction that reads like sketches or synopses as opposed to heady, full-bodied works. Redemption is a full-bodied work, a dense novel that describes the thoughts and actions of its characters in rich, minute detail. It is narrated in a down-home, cozy style. The one problem I had with the novel was with its grammar, but after the author sent me an updated, edited version, I realized how serious she was about this book. I am impressed, not only with the novel, but with the author's dedication to it.
In this modern literary age of pared-down prose, I have become accustomed to concise fiction that reads like sketches or synopses as opposed to heady, full-bodied works. Redemption is a full-bodied work, a dense novel that describes the thoughts and actions of its characters in rich, minute detail. It is narrated in a down-home, cozy style. The one problem I had with the novel was with its grammar, but after the author sent me an updated, edited version, I realized how serious she was about this book. I am impressed, not only with the novel, but with the author's dedication to it.
July 22, 2013
I really liked Fallyn, she was a cool kick ass chick who had made a few mistakes but was trying to fix them. I'm not sure that I liked how she just did what ever Adia said when Fallyn was older than her but whatever.
I really liked Brice but totally agreed with Fallyn at the beginning of the book when she thought Aimee was annoying. And then she called Fallyn a bitch? HELL NO!
The book was pretty long so it took me a while to read it as I got a little bored, but I must confess I skipped a few pages. Whooooops.
If you're looking for a short quick read, this is not a book for you.
I really liked Brice but totally agreed with Fallyn at the beginning of the book when she thought Aimee was annoying. And then she called Fallyn a bitch? HELL NO!
The book was pretty long so it took me a while to read it as I got a little bored, but I must confess I skipped a few pages. Whooooops.
If you're looking for a short quick read, this is not a book for you.
July 7, 2014
Redemption sucked me in from the start. It was well told and had a really good story line. There were a lot of things that I liked about the book (the description, characters, plot) and only a few that I didn't. As great as the description was it was a bit much. I found myself struggling to get through at some points and began skimming over a few paragraphs/pages. If you are looking for a longer book though, it's a great read!
July 31, 2013
I really enjoyed this book. This was different than the typical vampire story. Fallyn is a fallen angel. She has spent years in hell. She is released to rid the world of the vampires that she created. Along the way, she meets her soul mate. Will there be a happy ever after for them?
Although I enjoyed the book, it could use some editing. The wrong words were used in a lot of places.
Although I enjoyed the book, it could use some editing. The wrong words were used in a lot of places.
October 13, 2013
I really liked the story. The mixture of love, action and tragedy really excited me into reading the book all the way (Yet, due to time constraints and demanding academic requirements, I was not able to finish it in time).
Despite the many pages, I still think the progression of the story was sufficient enough to really introduce the different characters.
Despite the many pages, I still think the progression of the story was sufficient enough to really introduce the different characters.
July 21, 2013
It was a slowish start at first. Then it picked up after the first chapter and became really good really fast. It was really long but it was really good.
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews