Going Under

by S. Walden

Brooke Wright has only two goals her senior year at Charity Run High School: stay out of trouble and learn to forgive herself for the past. Forgiveness proves elusive, and trouble finds her anyway when she discovers a secret club at school connected to the death of her best friend. She learns that swim team members participate in a “Fantasy Slut League,” scoring points for their sexual acts with unsuspecting girls.

Brooke, wracked with guilt over her friend’s death, decides to infiltrate the league by becoming one of the “unsuspecting girls,” and exact revenge on the boys who stole away her best friend. An unexpected romance complicates her plans, and her dogged pursuit of justice turns her reckless as she underestimates just how far the boys will go to keep their sex club a secret.

Genres: New Adult, Romance, Young Adult, Dark, Contemporary, Abuse, High School

344 pages, Paperback

First published March 14, 2013

About the author

S. Walden used to teach English before making the best decision of her life by becoming a full-time writer. She lives in Georgia with her very supportive husband who prefers physics textbooks over fiction and has a difficult time understanding why her characters must have personality flaws. She is wary of small children, so she has a Westie instead. She is the USA Today bestselling author of Going Under. When she's not writing, she's thinking about it.

She loves her fans and loves to hear from them. Email her at swaldenauthor@hotmail.com and follow her twitter feed at @swaldenauthor.

Summer Walden

Reviews

[Kristin (KC) · Rating 5 out of 5]

RAW. REAL. FEARLESS. POWERFUL.

What this story is: A gripping and honest, detailed account of one girl's struggle for forgiveness, revenge, and redemption. It will push your boundaries and make you question your own morals; it will also persuade you to forgive and to find your own strengths as a reader. It will exemplify how something terrible can inspire greater things to follow. It has its heavy moments, but I walked away from this genuinely uplifted and not at all dejected.

*This story is largely focused on the subject of rape, which becomes heartbreaking and gritty—so please be warned that it may serve as a trigger for those who choose to avoid this topic.*

Not to be confused and judged for what it's not: A warm and fuzzy, lighthearted, sexy romance where everything is predictably tied up neatly in a bow by the final page. I'm not saying you wont get your HEA, but the journey there is not dusted with rainbows and butterflies. Yes, there is an ample amount of steam, as well as an undeniable love story involved, but this is not by any means the story's sole focus. This book is intense, but in a truly magnificent way...



Brooke has committed an ultimate betrayal; one that has rendered her broken as she blindly claws her way through her insurmountable guilt. Her heartless behavior will lead you to initially hate her, but her unrelenting quest for redemption will soften your heart and possibly bring out a side of yourself you weren't expecting to show. I truly found her to be a kick-ass, funny-as-hell heroine—flaws and all!

The fact that this author bravely creates these broken, imperfect characters and offers no concrete excuses for them is by far the most honest aspect of this story. They are real and flawed, and we are enticed to accept that fact without requiring the typical 'horrific childhood' or 'traumatic event' to stand as an excuse for their ugliness. This book's simple and very life-like reason being: They're human. What a breath of fresh air! It's what makes this story stand out from the rest; it gloriously strays from the standard fictional, let-me-justify-the-wrong, formula. And I LOVED it!

That being said, there were some characters who did not search for redemption, and they deserved nothing more than the fate they were delivered. But those who did ended up stealing pieces of my heart...

As profound as these controversial topics were, there were generous amounts of humor and tenderness, which I found to be a perfect contrast. None of the struggles proved to be in vain. The engaging writing was phenomenal--pulled me in immediately and has yet to let go. The way the author vividly portrayed each scene honestly allowed the story to unfold before my eyes; making this more of a show-me book, rather than a tell-me one. I was truly floored by her ability to add some believable lightness and fun into this intense read. Some scenes were difficult but this story was not swallowed up by darkness.

Having so many layers within this unique story—pain, loss, revenge, atonement, betrayal, love, art—what stands out the most is the sweet possibility for redemption and forgiveness. They are constants and always available for the taking. All of the ugliness and beauty in life were smashed together and succeeded in creating an unforgettable, one-of-a-kind experience. Its fitting title is made apparent in multiple instances, but thankfully this story's focus is on rising up from the bottom, rather than spiraling down. UTTERLY BREATHTAKING!

Book Stats:
▪ Genre/Category: New Adult
▪ Steam Caliber: Moderate/sexy
▪ Romance: Slow-building and present, but not the central focus of story.
▪ Characters: Damaged heroine, but willful and will earn your respect.
▪ Plot: Redemption-themed. Character driven. Controversial, darker topics.
▪ Writing: Impressive, bold, and alluring.
▪ POV: First person: Heroine
▪ Cliffhanger: None/Standalone
▪ HEA? Yes

[Aestas Book Blog · Rating 5 out of 5]

WHOA. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

This book did a number on me. It addressed a tough, intense, gritty subject matter in an evocative, well-written way.

It was gutsy, controversial, and painful at times but also, raw, honest, and in the end, beautiful.

This is not a story I’ll ever forget.

I feel the need to put a bit a warning at the front of the review that contains a bit of a spoiler, but I honestly wouldn’t feel comfortable reviewing this book without being upfront about it. This won’t spoil the story, or give away any of the twists because the issue is addressed in the first 5% of the book but you should know the following before reading this book: This book contains an intense rape scene. It was a graphic, but not “over-done” scene, written from the POV of the victim, and I’m not going to lie that it left me feeling shaken.

Without giving too much away, the set up of the book (and you discover this at about 6% in) is that the heroine, Brooke’s best friend Beth was raped in high school but she felt unable to come forward publicly with an accusation. She kept it to herself and that coupled with other emotional hits in her life drove her to commit suicide. Brooke is left feeling guilty for not having protected her in the first place. So when mom moves away, she decides to go live with her dad and spend her senior year at Beth’s high school with the hopes of being the voice of the victim and willing to go to any lengths to bring down the guy who destroyed her best friend’s life. Her plan is to lure Beth’s rapist, Cal, (one of the “popular” guys ) into raping her so that she can them come forward with a statement and put him away for good where he can no longer hurt anyone.

“A righteous anger flared in me immediately, and just like that, I discovered a purpose. My purpose. It flooded me instantly, a great wave slamming into my mind and my heart, carrying with it the courage and conviction of my newly formed plan… And I transformed into the predator. He just didn’t know it yet. He thought I was the prey, and I’d let him.”

But the deeper she digs, the thicker the plot gets. She overheard Cal and his friends and discovers that they have a twisted sex club with with charts, scoreboards and tasks all involving getting various girls at the school in bed or on their knees. To make matters worse, they are willing to go to any lengths including drugging the girls to get their points and she soon discovers a whole trail of girls who were once happy and full of life and but were now missing that light in their eyes. And what she wasn’t counting on that only made matters more complicated was Ryan, the beautiful guy she meets at school who was swoony and thought the world of her but was also very mysterious and clearly hiding some dark secret of his own.

I’ll leave you at that. The rest of the story you can discover if you choose to read this, which, if you can handle the subject matter, I do encourage you too.

Interestingly though, despite the heavy subject matter, this is not a dark book. It takes place in high school and definitely has a measure sweetness to it.

Brooke is very much the center of this story. She was a smart, strong and sassy heroine who was also fragile, hurting and emotionally cut up on the inside. She felt very real. She messed up, had fears, insecurities, nightmares and more but deep down she was tough as nails and willing to go to any lengths for her friend.

I had so many questions about Ryan! He was so quiet and mysterious, not to mention just plain hot. I loved how he made her feel like she was the only girl in the world and yet didn’t ask for anything in return. But the mystery around him was thick. I wanted to know more about him and my mind kept running through all sorts of theories behind his secrecy.

“Why are you so mysterious?” …
“Look, you probably don’t want to be associated with me at school, okay?… I guess I’m a bit of a pariah. And I don’t mind. I just don’t wanna drag you down.”
I looked at him, astonished. “Okay. You just upped the mysterious factor by a trillion.”
He laughed.

I know for a solid fact that abuse happens more often than people realize in schools. It has happened to someone I know and it has happened to thousands of others. I thought this book did a great job of highlighting that. Of showing how easy it was for the monsters to hide in plain sight and cover their tracks. And of how chillingly normal everything could look on the surface.

“He didn’t seem like a predator… I realized I needed to look at evil in an entirely new light. Most bad guys weren’t running around with eyes bugged out. Most bad guys didn’t come across freaky and frightening…Most bad guys were normal, everyday guys moving through life like anyone else… They were hard to spot and that’s what made them so good at being bad… They could get away with it, and they knew it.”

I got totally lost in this story. In both the morbid fascination mixed with extreme fear to see how Brooke’s story line with Cal would play out as well as totally lost in the swoon of her and Ryan.

It’s one of those books that has you almost crying in one moment and then laughing out loud the next.

I loved this quote. Brooke loves to paint and while this quote is about her painting, I really felt that it represented the book as a whole:

“You think you know what to expect. You think you have it all planned out. But something in you always surprises you, and it’s a buzzing undercurrent that keeps you silently guessing until your picture is complete.”

The character dynamics and relationships were all brilliant. Brooke and her friend Gretchen – hilarious, bonded BFFs. Brooke and Call – creepy as all hell and deeply chilling. Brooke and Ryan – hot, mysterious, swoony, gorgeous. Brooke and her dad – sweet, touching, healing… the list goes on.

Now, I need to address the issue of rape in this book. The first thing to note is that it was handled in a very realistic manner. It was graphic and chilling. But, as I said earlier, not over done. That being said, I honest to God, just felt sick to my stomach. I had a good long think after this book. This book really read like a 5 star book to me. But after reading *that* scene, a big part of me just wanted to throw it all out and never look at the book again. That was part of my gut instinct reaction. But then I thought about it. This happens in real life. Every day. Woman and girls across the world are violated and abused each day. And I had to look past how hard it was for me to read it and realize what an important message this book was telling. I did however need a little bit of time to just sit and process my emotions.

This book is about tragedy borne of silence, of finding the strength of being able to speak out, and the righteous delivery of justice. It is also about finding love, finding forgiveness and following your heart no matter what.

There is a love story in this book. A passionate, heartbreaking romance that does have a happy ending . It is no fairy tale to be sure. But don’t worry about having your heart permanently shattered, because there is healing and despite being shaken, I was left in a good place.

This is a stand alone.

4.5 - 5 stars.

*** The author does not encourage rape or sexual assault victims to read this book and I strongly agree with her.

CASTING for Brooke and Ryan:








BLURB --> Brooke Wright has only two goals her senior year at Charity Run High School: stay out of trouble and learn to forgive herself for the past. Forgiveness proves elusive, and trouble finds her anyway when she discovers a secret club at school connected to the death of her best friend. She learns that swim team members participate in a “Fantasy Slut League,” scoring points for their sexual acts with unsuspecting girls.

Brooke, wracked with guilt over her friend’s death, decides to infiltrate the league by becoming one of the “unsuspecting girls,” and exact revenge on the boys who stole away her best friend. An unexpected romance complicates her plans, and her dogged pursuit of justice turns her reckless as she underestimates just how far the boys will go to keep their sex club a secret.

(This is a New Adult fiction book with mature themes. It contains graphic sex and language and a description of sexual violence.)

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[Debra · Rating 5 out of 5]

"We're allowed one huge mess-up. I wish I would have saved mine for later on in life." ~ Brooke

This book did a number on me.

It made me wish life would offer you one of these:

It was HIGHLY EMOTIONAL. HEARTBREAKING. REAL. RAW. GRITTY INTRIGUING. AND INFURIATING AT TIMES.

From the moment I started reading this book, an unsettling feeling crept itself inside my stomach. And it stayed there the entire time I was reading this story. It wasn't an easy story to read, it wasn't easy at all. It is, however, a story that will stay with me for a very long time. And it was so captivating and well written that in the end, I LOVED IT.

Going Under is a story about a single girl's need for revenge. It's about this girl's all consuming feeling of guilt and her desperate need to make up for the mistakes she made in the past.


Meet Brooke --


We first meet her at the funeral of her friend Beth. Brooke and Beth used to be best friends but right before Beth committed suicide, the two friends had a fight and that leaves Brooke with a feeling of guilt.

Determined to make things right, Brooke has a plan to find the guy responsible for Beth's suicide and make him pay for it.

"There's anger, and then there's righteous anger. I felt righteous anger, and I knew I had to act on it. I would purify my heart by becoming impure."

Brooke knows that the reason Beth committed suicide, was because she was raped at a party by a guy she knew from school. So, for her senior year, Brooke decides to enlist herself in Beth's former High School. That way she can get close to the person who ruined her best friends life. She's prepared to seduce him and becoming a rape victim herself so she can come forward with a testimony and justice will be served.

"I transformed into the predator. He just didn't know it yet. He thought I was the prey, and I'd let him."

But the bad guys aren't always easy to spot, and they'll do whatever it takes to not get caught...

"I realized I needed to look at evil in an entirely different light. Most bad guys weren't walking around with eyes bugged out. Most bad guys didn't come across freaky and frightening, hiding in shadowed corners with insane grins plastered across their faces. Most bad guys were your normal, everyday guys moving through life like anyone else. Going to school. Going to work. Going to church, even. They were hard to spot, and that's what made them so good at being bad. They were sneaky. They could get away with it, and they knew it."

When Brooke starts digging deeper and deeper she discovers that her friend Beth wasn't the only rape victim at this school. In fact, it turns out, there's a whole group of young, frightened girls who seem to have experienced a similar horrible event that still eats at them to this day.

She discovers that the guys from the swimming team have formed a secret sex club. A club called Fantasy Slut League. They work with charts and a score board that allows them to determine which guy "scores" best.

They trick unsuspecting girls and lure them into participating in all kinds of sexual activities. And if they don't get what they want, they're not afraid to drug the girls just so they can get their way.

"I'm not talking about getting your feelings hurt because someone or something didn't live up to your expectations. I'm talking about the kind of dignity that changes you as a person, makes you withdraw, hide from the world because suddenly it's turned into something frightening - full of dark corners and monsters."

Full of guys like Cal...

Cal. Mother f*cker. Oh and Parker and Tim too for that matter.

Cal is the captain of the swimming team and prime member of the Fantasy Slut League. He tries to put on a "good guy" act but from the beginning of the story, he already had this bad vibe hanging around him and you immediately know he's up to no good. And by the end of the story I hated and despised him.


Then there's Ryan --


He's a loner. He doesn't have a lot of friends at school and for some reason he seems to be Cal's number one enemy. He seems be have some dark secrets of his own and Brooke is determined to discover what they are.

"Ryan chuckled. "You're going to be my trouble this year, aren't you?" he asked softly.
Hell yeah I was."

Ryan is the one person Brooke can turn to when she needs to get away from her "mission to catch the bad guy". When she's with him, he makes her forget about the rest of the world for a little while.

"I'm not looking for things to be even between us, Brooke. I'm looking for them to be right."~ Ryan

Ryan was sweet, supportive and I just LOVED him. He seemed like the ultimate good guy, and he was. But at the same time he also had this mysterious "bad boy" side to his character that made me fall for him even more. Two words: Gamers Embrace. (you'll know what I mean when you've read the book!) I had no idea gaming could be that HOT, but Ryan definitely gave an entirely different meaning to "playing games"... The scenes between him and Brooke were some of my favorite ones of the book and they definitely made the story a little lighter and happier in a way.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Ultimately, I think this quote pretty much sums up the essence of this book:

"You think you know what to expect. You think you have it all planned out. But something in you always surprises you, and it's a buzzing undercurrent that keeps you silently guessing until your picture is complete."

You never know what to expect, and this book constantly keeps you on the edge of your seat. I was unable to put it down and ended up finishing it in one day.

I think the author of this book did a very good job at depicting a clear and realistic image of what is ultimately a very harsh and cruel topic. I do feel like I should warn you that there's a pretty graphically described rape scene in this book, but the way the author wrote it, it wasn't overdone. Still, it wasn't an easy scene to read. But I wouldn't let that hold you back from giving this story a try.

Despite some of the content of this book, there were plenty of scenes that made me laugh out loud too (especially the ones including Terry, Brooke's colleague, and Gretchen, her BFF). So it's definitely not the kind of book that will have you feeling depressed or sad, because in the end their was happily ever after as well (thank God!).

And that just shows, once again, that despite all the difficult times in life, it's never too late to hope...

4,5-5 STARS.

[Christy · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 OMG Stars

*** Note to potential readers: I absolutely loved this book, it was emotional, raw, and gritty. Just an FYI- The subject matter is not easy to read. The author has put this warning in her book:
*I would strongly suggest that this book not be read by anyone who has been a victim of any type of sexual assault*
And I would have to agree. There is a rape scene in this book, and its pretty graphic. Just a heads up.***



We meet Brooklyn at her best friends Beth’s funeral. Brooklyn is pretty torn up about Beth’s death for multiple reasons. One being Brooke was seeing Beth’s bf behind her back. And another, Beth killed herself. Brooklyn knows why. Beth was raped by a guy at her school.

Brooke’s mother is moving to CA and instead of going with her, Brooklyn stays behind and moves in with her father. She is going to start her senior year at a new school. The school that Beth went to. The school that the guy who raped Beth (Cal) went to. Brooklyn can’t get past her guilt. She knew what happened to Beth, and she did nothing.

She decides to do the one thing that may make her feel better, that may make her be able to forgive herself.

Make him pay. That much was settled. I’d make him pay.

She wants to set Cal up. She wants him to pay for what he did to Bethie. She wants revenge.
She wants


And she is willing to do whatever it takes. She does her research, and is shocked at what she finds. Cal is on the swim team. He and a few of the other guys are part of a FSL (Fantasy Slut League). They score girls on how far they can get with them sexually, depending on their level of innocence. As disgusting as it is, Brooklyn has to figure out what guys are just pigs, and what guys are actually rapists. She investigates.

Everything is going according to plan. Then she starts to get close to Ryan.

Their relationship complicates everything. Ryan is insanely good looking, yet he is kind of an outcast at school. He warns Brooke to stay away from Cal, but she can’t. She has to get close to him to expose him. I don’t want to spoil the last 30% or so of the book but it is a HOT MESS. I’m serious. The shit hits the fan and it is crazy! I was at a loss for words. A slue of inappropriate things came out of my mouth. I can’t even talk about it... you just have to read it for yourself!!!


Brooklyn was seriously a bad ass. I loved her character. She screwed up. She made a huge mistake, but she was trying to atone for it. She had a huge heart and willing to do anything to not only get revenge for her friend, but help any other potential victims. She was tough, funny, snarky, and just awesome.

I wasn’t scared Brooke. I was warrior Brooke, and I was about to take some assholes down.

What to say about Ryan... I loved him! Ryan is a sweetheart. Down right swoony.

“I’m not looking for things to be even between us, Brooke. I’m looking for them to be right.”

But I did know early on something was up with him... when It came to light, I kind of freaked out I knew there was no way he was involved with the league, but at first I didn’t know what to think! So happy it came out that he didn’t know about it or any other of the rapes!

As I said at the beginning, this IS NOT a light book, it’s not easy to read. Its heavy. Sad. Emotional. Heartbreaking. Devastating. But its also got funny parts, sweet parts, and sexy parts. I couldn’t give it less than 5 stars if I wanted to. Brooklyn is a relatable character. We’ve all made mistakes. We’ve all struggled to forgive ourselves. Her journey was a beautiful one. I really enjoyed the book, and the ending.

We’re all allowed one huge mess-up. I wish I would have saved mine for later on in life. Eighteen felt like too young an age to use it.

[Alexis *Reality Bites* · Rating 4 out of 5]

SPOILER FREE REVIEW -mature content reader discretion is advised.
4 STARS out of 5
Genre: New Adult
WARNING: This book contains a rape scene and other content/subject matters that may be to much for some readers to handle.
Full review posted 4/11/13

Dear readers
This book will make you feel like your throat is closing up on you, like you no longer have the ability to swallow..Breathe or even comprehend...
I was in a constant state of



and



Reader beware
Some of these Characters are sadistic, amoral and down right cruel. If you are not used to reading books that have characters with a lack of moral compass then this book is not for you… This book is a heavy hitter, no hearts and flowers but PAIN & SORROW of epic proportions.
When I finished my feelings was in a tangled mess. Unsure of how to feel or what to think. Brooke was a seriously screwed up character... Her thinking process was mind boggling and it totally had me enraged at certain moments.


I think the saying is true... Guilt will make you tilt.




After the death of her best friend Beth, Brooke Wright finds herself on a mission to take down the one who did her friend wrong. Plagued with the guilt of her own personal betrayal against her bff, Brooke also finds herself haunted by a ghost. Beth.

After starting at a new school, which is actually the same high school Beth attended, Brooke discovers a secret club run by the swim team. Fantasy Slut League. The club uses scoring cards, were each girl chosen is scored by sexual acts given/performed on the boys. Knowing these same guys may have played a part in Beth's death she decides to take matters in to her own hands. By becoming a vigilante Brooke makes a decision that I never saw coming.

'I would purify my heart by becoming impure.' Inner monologue of Brooke

Can you really spot a predator???

'I realized I needed to look at evil in an entirely different light. Most bad guys weren’t walking around with eyes bugged out. Most bad guys didn’t come across freaky and frightening, hiding in shadowed corners with insane grins plastered across their faces. Most bad guys were your normal, everyday guys moving through life like anyone else. Going to school. Going to work. Going to church, even. They were hard to spot, and that’s what made them so good at being bad. They were sneaky. They could get away with it, and they knew it.' ~Brooke

Going after the schools bad boys prove to be more challenging than she thought especially after she decides to date Ryan. A loner.

The Characters
Dear Cal, Tim and Parker




Ok, now that I've gotten that out of the way lets discuss the rest of the characters shall we.
WARNING: Small spoilers ahead none will hinder your reading experience.
Beth- The small glimpses we get are of a sweet loving girl, she hit some speed bumps but finally found a guy she really liked. She was a good supportive friend with Brooke. She told her everything and was able to depend on her no matter what. I like how the author still gave her a voice even in death.

Gretchen- Loved this chick, she is fun charismatic and hilarious, she definitely kept Brooke’s ass in line. All girls need a friend like that!

Ryan- I LOVED RYAN! He was so caring and charming. You could tell he had secrets but I kinda overlooked it… He had it bad for Brooke you could tell from the beginning that he did. I like his slow yet sensual pursuit of Brooke, that was all kinds of sexy!

“I’m going to touch you,” Ryan said. “And then I’m going to taste you. Is that all right?”
“Yes.” I sounded like I was in pain, but it was purely sexual frustration.
Forget Brooke Ryan. TOUCH ME!LOL!!!



Brooke- One thing about Brooke, she had a great relationship with her dad. I enjoyed every scene with those two. Brooke also stuck to her convictions and I really really liked that about her character. Sooooo I'm not sure how to discuss this without spoiling it so I’ll just beat around the bush a little and try to explain my thoughts. I held a strong dislike for Brooke in the beginning, she was NOT what I consider a good person… What she did to Beth..



She made a bad choice to do something and then to continue doing that something until she was…caught. I despised her for what she did to Beth. I despised her for her stupid plan to get those boys who did Beth wrong back. Then..then suddenly I felt empathy for her. WTF?? I empathized for her guilt, I empathized for her need for vengeance, I empathized for naive notions on how to seek that revenge.
Along side the revenge filled plot is a slowly budding romance that had me melting like a cube of ice in a cup of hot tea. Ryan and Brooke had some very very steamy moments that will have you squirming in your seat. I enjoyed when these two were together and I wish we could have gotten just a little more of them as a couple.

Thoughts
Overall I think Walden did an awesome job at making Brooke human. None of us are perfect we make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes can severely hurt the ones we love. She was flawed her imperfections held a strong impact in the plot lines. Speaking of plot lines this was waaayyy out of the box. I did not ever feel like I was reading a story that’s already been told. This book gripped my attention from start to finish.

You know a book is exceptional when it has lines that leave you paralyzed...

'He had cut muscles, a ripped chest, and strong, thick legs. “All the better to pin you down, my dear,” Inner monologue of Brooke



My Ratings
Characters- Loved some hated some
Writing Style- First Rate, I loved the writing style
Plot/Storyline- Highly emotional, very intense from beginning to end
Steam Factor- High/Very Steamy
Overall- I loved it!!!

Now go forth and read. Then come tell us about it on Goodreads!
For more reviews got to http://realitybites-letsgetlost.blogs...

[Pearl Angeli · Rating 2 out of 5]

I enjoyed the first half of this book because everything seemed mysterious and dark-- which definitely had me flipping pages. The concept was good. I admire how the author immersed the readers in heavy, fragile, and sensitive topics that involve suicide and rape. The writing style of the author also impressed me because the words were perfectly compelling that it automatically pulled me into the story.

However, I have some issues with this book. I found the plotline weak and totally messed-up. I was so invested with the story until I started reading the second half of the book. It disappointed me. Most parts were dragging and it was only when I reached 80% when things started to get interesting. But still, it fell short for me.

The main character Brooke also did not help lift the story up. I found her so immature and I did not like how she made such stupid and selfish decisions. Not to mention that she was very horny most of the time.

The romance was also a so-so. There were hot scenes, but it missed some romantic factors for me.

Also, the thing that bothered me the most was the setting. While this book was categorized in a NA genre, I was confused about why the author placed the story in a high-school setting. Yes, the characters were Seniors and already 18, but something was wrong here. I was not comfortable imagining the dark, explicit scenes happening in high-schoolers. In my opinion, the story should have been placed in a more mature setting.

There were also unrealistic scenes. Like how in the world the Fantasy Slut League existed for a very long time without being noticed by the police or law-makers? I mean, the swim team guys already made quite a number of victims in the school but how their acts weren't caught was too impossible and unrealistic.

I was also looking for some twist at the near-end portion of the book but unfortunately, nothing remarkable happened. And when it comes to the ending, a huge part of it felt so cliche to me.

Even if this book did not completely enthrall me, I would still recommend this to anyone who is looking for a book with this kind of genre. Maybe it will work out for you. :)

Rating: 2 Stars

[Elizabeth (Liz) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Review posted at: Swept Away By Romance

FANTASTIC AUTHOR INTERVIEW ABOUT THIS BOOK AT THE BLOG, HERE:
http://sweptawaybyromance.blogspot.co...



GENRE: New Adult, Contemporary, 18+

HEAT LEVEL: Hot

WARNING FROM THE AUTHOR: This is a New Adult fiction book with mature themes. It contains graphic sex and language and a description of sexual violence.



5 UNBELIEVABLE STARS!!

WOW! Just WOW!! Raw. Unexpected. Controversial. Unapologetic. Graphic. Gutsy. Ugly. Painful. Redemptive. Beautiful. Those words best describe my experience with this unputdownable and unforgettable journey, which is, sadly, based far too firmly in reality. GOING UNDER was a powerful shock to my system, to my expectations of this genre, and to my heart. The emotional impact is still reverberating!

Brooke Wright believes she has much to atone for, and that is her main focus as her senior year at Charity Run High School begins. She is unable to forgive herself for the betrayal of her deceased best friend, Beth, and, in fact, constructs a dangerously foolish plan to bring down a vile, secret school club with a history of violence against women. Brooke knows this club was responsible for Beth's tragic end. Even as she works toward her goal of revenge and atonement, an unexpected complication arises in the form of the school's handsome, mysterious loner. Torn between the past and the future, between guilt and forgiveness, Brooke shockingly miscalculates how far the members will go to keep their club a secret.

I have to tell you, no book summary, no review, nothing really, can do this book justice. GOING UNDER is a story you have to read and judge for yourself. There is so much more here, so much more, than I initially thought. The first 15% of the book, honestly, made me question the infrequent but passionate support of the book I had been hearing. Little did I know. Seriously. Little did I know. Even when I was convinced I could tell you exactly where GOING UNDER was taking me...yeah...I didn't see that coming. In no way is this your typical YA/NA read. Yes, the beginning will likely throw you off a bit, but it doesn't take long before you realize you're gonna need your big-girl panties to deal with this fist to the gut. S. Walden's ability to bring this story to blazing life without it feeling exploitative is one of the things I admire most about the author. And, let's be real, you have to be a gifted writer to pull this off!

Brooke Wright began as someone I had absolutely zero interest in knowing or reading about. By the end, she had become a fully-formed, real person to me. This is a young woman who was far from perfect, yet her imperfections drove this story in as much as they drove her to try to do better and be better. And Ryan Foster? I don't know what to say about Ryan without giving anything away. With Ryan, as with Brooke, I connected with them in a very dynamic way, and experienced a whole host of emotions and reactions. Trust me, there will be no shortage of either once you read this book!

Honest, gritty character growth, powerfully life-changing lessons learned, the awful reality that these things actually happen...each of these makes this book a stand-out and a 5-star read. Yes, there is a love story here. And, yes, there is a happily-ever-after. But, it is well and truly EARNED.

That's all I've got. My head's still spinning, and my stomach's still in knots. If you want an EXPERIENCE, I highly recommend this book.

Bravo, S. Walden!

[Kristalia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Final rating: 4.75/5 stars


This book is so difficult to review. I don't think i have read something as serious as this for a while.

Its a story of:
pain.
misery.
suffering.
death.

and also a story of:
guilt.
revenge.
love.


It is about something that most of people avoid talking..Thing people are traumatized for life...thing which makes you feel ashamed, disgusted and afraid... Rape is a big and scary thing that happens all over the world...but so few rape victims actually report the deed. They don't because to them it is hard, it's shameful and they are afraid of what will society think....So they don't. But the ones which did.....i say they are brave, and that they have done the right thing! People who do those things deserve to rot in jail for as many years they can get!

Its a heavy story, but its also strong and it grips you and it doesn't let go so easily. In the end, i loved it even though the first part of the book was a little bit slow in the start and all with all of the thinking and reasoning was something i had difficult time to get over with....But the love story was something else. It was quite, sweet and fun, just like any other story.

The thing i loved in this book is this:

No.One.IS.PERFECT.

There is no such thing as perfect. Everyone lie. Everyone hurts. But everyone can also love and be beautiful in someones else lives.

___________________________________________

STORY :
___________________________________________

Once upon a time there were two girls. They were best friends.

Their names were Brooklyn and Beth. Beth, she had it all, perfect life and everything. Until the event that destroyed her. A boy from her school, Cal, raped her and destroyed her world. Then, her best friend betrayed her by sleeping with her boyfriend Finn. And because it was too much for her to bear, in the end she took her own life.

Guilt has been destroying Brooke for years. She can't get over of what she had done to Beth. She knew she was wrong, she knew she did something terrible, and it's eating her alive.

Only way she thought she could redeem herself was to go to Beth's school, become rape victim and report the ones responsible for it. Including Cal.

But is she strong enough for it? Can she really get her revenge?

Brooke thinks she can. She will destroy them. And nothing will stand in her way. Except...she falls in love. With an outcast of the school...Ryan.

She discovers that there is a group of people in that school, a swim club, raping girls - without any consequences. And Brooke is going to make them pay for it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The story is really hard and morbid and twisted. It's very very emotional...But it was also sweet, cute and wonderful,with all those funny scenes and romantic moments between Ryan and Brooke.

___________________________________________

CHARACTERS :
___________________________________________

♦ Brooke :



I just couldn't understand how Brooke could have done that to her best friend...it was so wrong and so f*cked up. But it made her real...she is not perfect, she is with a lot of flaws.... She is reckless, brave and in a way selfish. She thinks only of revenge. Her guilt is making her suffer and she is going crazy over it....But she is also really good and wonderful person on the inside.

But after meeting Ryan, she slowly changes her perspective...she starts to change her opinions, but she won't stop until they get what they deserve.

She is also the reason i gave this book 4 stars instead of 5.

♦ Ryan :



Ryan is the outcast. Everyone avoid him, but Brooke can't. Especially after meeting him on the Beth's funeral. He knew Beth, and he decided to honor her by being there...But it was kind of love at first sight.

Ryan is a good guy - he truly is - but he looks like bad boy type...The type everyone warns you about...and the mysterious type.

♦ Others :

Please let me slaughter all the guys from this book except for Terry and Ryan. Terry was absolutely awesome, and his humor is priceless, and he saved the whole situation. He helped and he was there. That is what is important.

Cal on the other hand.............one of the popular and beautiful guys.... but...

he should get a book about how he rots in jail for the rest of his pathetic miserable and disgusting life.

That goes for the rest of swim team (honor to the exceptions), or at least the guys who were in the fantasy slut league, especially Tim and Parker .

Lucy and Gretchen were amazing characters, all of the parents were strong and kind and understanding which i loved.
___________________________________________

OVERALL :
___________________________________________

WOW. it was amazing it was devastating and it was unique and it was hard to read. But it was worth it.

No one should suffer like that and not say anything. Even one person can be enough...keeping it all in can destroy everything.

But, doing the right thing can save you, and sometimes the best revenge is to move on and continue your life....happily ever after...no matter how wrong and difficult it may seem.

Don't miss the additional scene Walden wrote! Though i suggest reading them after reading the book :D and all of them are from Ryan's POV. You won't regret them:
♦ Gamer's embrace ♦ Ryan meets Gretchen ♦ Ryan Reacts ♦


Buddy read with my darlings:
♥ Nabk11 ♥ & ♥ Basuhi ♥
click on their names for their reviews!


This review can be found on my blog: infinity-of-time.blogspot.com also known as...

[Tough Critic Book Reviews · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5~Stars

Bravo, well done, I need a Xanax!!

This book was...I was...it...I can't...I can't...WOW!

The synopsis of Going Under immediately drew me in; it got under my skin and I couldn't make myself read anything else. I had to read this. I had to.

I knew going into it that it would punch me in the face, punch me so hard that I would feel it everywhere. I did. I felt it for days.

It was a perfect mess and incredibly well written. Controversial? Yes! S. Walden writes real and doesn't hold back. It is graphic, maybe even horrific, but gruesome? No. The story involves rape and S. Waldon tells the story...the whole story.

When I was done, I didn't feel like I needed to run a shower so I could sit under the scalding stream holding myself. I needed time, time with my emotions. Time to absorb the depth of what I had just read. The author embraced reality in such an intense way that I was blown away.

The story starts off incredibly strong, teen suicide...scandal. The realism of these teenage characters intrigued me. If you think this stuff doesn't go on in high school, let me write you a big fat reality check. Sex, drugs, rape...turn on the news. It's heartbreaking.

I think what I loved the most about Going Under was that in addition to this painfully different and gut wrenching story, we get an incredible romance. One full of loss, hope, redemption, and forgiveness. Ryan and Brooke's story was horrifically perfect...passionate...heartbreaking.

This entire book did things to my heart that I'll never forget. S. Walden has done something incredible here and I can't wait for more.

READ ON!

[Amy | Foxy Blogs · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hot Mess best describes me reading this book.



Friendship, betrayal, revenge, forgiveness, love, heartbreak and romance sums up this book.

Going Under is such a page turner that once you start you can't stop. The writing is amazing and the story is compelling.

Be prepared to be blown away.



**adding-> there is a graphic rape scene but if you read Seduced in the Dark than you can handle the scene.**

The author has provided some bonus materiel. Ryan's POV but don't read if you haven't finished the book yet.

[La-Lionne · Rating 5 out of 5]

.*** 5 beautiful, amazing, sweet, heartbreaking and I-want-to-crawl-into-a-hole-and-die stars ***

Before I get on with my review I want to say that, in my opinion, this book should be marked with "For readers 18 and over", because of the graphically described sex scenes, rape, physical and emotional violence .

I think this book can bring out a lot of different emotions in different readers. It depends on how old you are and what experience you've had in life.

Some readers can find this story repulsive or/and offensive. Others can be saddened or/and grossed out (by some scenes). In my case first I was freaked out, then sad, and towards the end just pissed and angry to the point that I couldn't see straight. This story brought very strange emotions in me.


I think my reaction to this story would have been different if I was not a woman, a mother, a friend and a human being.

[image error]

Brooke is 18 years old girl that just recently lost someone she cared about. She have done a terrible, TERRIBLE mistake, which she regrets, but it's still costing her nightmares, panic attacks and makes her feel like sh!t.

She comes up with this brilliant idea (which in my opinion was absolutely terrible), to avenge her friends death.

The moment you read the details of her idea you know that things are bound to go horribly wrong, because there is simply no other outcome. And they do.

She meets a boy, who is messing up her plans and makes her doubt if her plan is a good idea. But she is a teenager who thinks she is on a top of the world and can handle anything (Don't they all?).

He looks and acts the part. He is a total sweetheart. He treats her right, says and does all the right things. But there is something about him that you can't quite put a finger on it. You know he's keeping a secret, but you don't know how bad it is. At this point I was afraid that it will turn into some kind of days-of-our-lives-ish teenage drama. But thank God it didn't.
Yes, she is young, and acts just like anyone her age would. But what I liked about her character was the fact that even though she made some awful choices, she was asking the right questions. She is strong and at the end of the book you get to see just how strong she really is.

I thought her relationship with her father was absolutely beautiful and I adored him. He, too, have done his fare-share of mistakes, but he was trying very hard to make up for them.

Now the secondary characters is a whole another story. I'm use to one bad guy per story, but there were a whole bunch of them who made my skin crawl. They are the reason that high school can be a real nightmare for some.

As repulsive as their characters were, they were brilliantly written. That is why I felt such a hatred towards them. The darkest evil always wears a mask of a good Samaritan.

I also want to address one particular scene in chapter 20, which cost strong reaction and I didn't know what to make of it. I was glad that author took the time to address readers and explain why she chose to include that specific scene.

The authors like S. Walden and stories like these is the reason why I still love YA books (although lately I was questioning myself why I still keep reading them).
I found it hard to relate to any of the characters in this book, simply because I have never experienced anything like it. But brilliant writing and character development made this story a total page turner.

This story can teach us about a lot of different things and could be analyzed from many different angles. Some might look at it as a love story, about forgiving and loving the other through thick and thin, about unconditional love for the significant other, about fathers love for his daughter, or true friendship . Others will think that it's about revenge and justice. And all of them would be right.
For me this story was about going through hell and back, and still managing to set one foot in a front of the other and find some meaning in life.

I want to share a quote from authors letter to a reader:

"I never set out to tell a story that teaches a lesson, because stories, by their inherent nature, will teach a lesson anyway. It's the lesson you, as a reader, decide to lear; not the one I'm shoving down your throat."

I wish more author would think like that.

[Jacqueline's Reads · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 Stars


What.THE.F.DID.I.JUST.READ?!




Yeah… that pretty much sums up how I feel right now. I am sorry, but I am going against the norm and say I was NOT a fan of Going Under and no, it’s not because of the subject matter.

I love my happy books, however, every once in awhile I love me an angsty, pull-my-hair, kind of read and I can see why there are so many rave reviews, but … HUGH SIGH I did not get the same feeling.

[Disclaimer]

Going Under isn’t for the faint of heart. It deals with a heavy subject matter that can offend some easily. Just a word of warning.

On with the review…

First Issue

WTF blurb? Really? I mean, EVERYTHING was mentioned in the summary. Okay, maybe not everything, but a huge part of the book, where in my opinion, I should have figured it out on my own OR it should have been revealed to me way sooner than it was.

[Copied of Summary]

Brooke Wright has only two goals her senior year at Charity Run High School: stay out of trouble and learn to forgive herself for the past. Forgiveness proves elusive, and trouble finds her anyway when she discovers a secret club at school connected to the death of her best friend. She learns that swim team members participate in a “Fantasy Slut League,” scoring points for their sexual acts with unsuspecting girls.

Brooke, wracked with guilt over her friend’s death, decides to infiltrate the league by becoming one of the “unsuspecting girls,” and exact revenge on the boys who stole away her best friend. An unexpected romance complicates her plans, and her dogged pursuit of justice turns her reckless as she underestimates just how far the boys will go to keep their sex club a secret.

Second Issue

The beginning was too darn slow. I understand Walden was setting up a back-story and I needed to understand Brook, but come on, I read the blurb, so I was waiting to get to the meat. You know?

Third Issue

I didn’t care for the Heroine. I really wanted to like Brooke, I really did. BUT she was all over the place. Brooke had guilt (which really pissed me off, but that’s my personal issue), so we have that, then her act of “revenge” was just ridiculous. What did she do? Go to a bunch of parties and prevent girls from getting drunk? Ug, okay.... I don’t know (and it may be easy for me to say) but shouldn’t Brooke talk to someone, like a teacher, a parent or talk to the girls explain to them the “situation” instead of saying “oh don’t talk to that guy”.

Okay, my rant is slightly unjustified because she does try to redeem herself and by “redeem”, I mean become less annoying and smarter. The story actually picked up around the 75% mark and that bumped my rating up half a point.

Fourth Issue

Even though it made me nervous, I saw the climatic-ending a mile away! I wasn’t disturbed by this, yes it was dramatic, but if anything I was just pure pissed. I thought to myself, really? Walden went there huh? I just pushed myself to get to the 90% mark.

Things I liked..

Brooke’s dad is freaking awesome

I wasn’t sure who was good or bad. Usually I talk about the Hero, but you really don’t know who it is. Brooke’s affections go back and forth between Ryan and Cal (to me) and at first I felt like there was just something more than what I was reading, but its clearly stated towards the middle.

Video Game Scene!

The ending was good. I liked. I think if I didn’t get that closure I would have just taken two sleeping pills and called it a night.

The cover is beautiful and very fitting.

Overall

I think my downfall was the hype. I hate having high expectations and not having them met. I don’t even think my issue was with the story, I think it was just the whole layout. I thought the beginning was slow and the middle-end was too obvious and quick. I didn’t understand the Heroine and felt there was just something lacking between the Heroine and Hero.

[~ Becs ~ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Please take this content warning seriously: This is a New Adult fiction book with mature themes. It contains graphic sex and language and an explicit description of sexual violence.

Please take the content warning above seriously because this is a book about 18 year old high school kids and will therefore appeal to the Young Adult demographic but it does contain graphic sex and, most importantly, a shocking scene of sexual violence.

Warning aside – this book is an incredibly good read. S. Walden is a new author to me but, after reading Going Under, I’ll definitely be seeking her out again. She’s taken the incredibly difficult and sensitive subject of rape and handled it beautifully. It’s never once sensationalised nor overly dramatic – it is exactly what it is and that is horrific, terrifying, degrading and humiliating.

Besides the heavy subject of rape, the theme of guilt is at the centre of this novel. Brooke’s best friend Beth has committed suicide a few months after discovering her boyfriend going down on Brooke. Brooke and Beth have been best friends for years and have shared their darkest secrets and that includes the fact that Beth was raped in High School. After Beth’s suicide, Brooke is eaten away by the guilt that she feels and swears vengeance on the boys that brought Beth so low and will stop at nothing to achieve it. She attends Beth’s old high school determined to bring down those responsible but she doesn’t bank on meeting and falling in love with Ryan – a mysterious and fairly reclusive teen.

This was all so well done. Right at the beginning, I really didn’t like Brooke at all. I mean she broke the girl code right? You do not ‘do’ your best friend’s man, whatever the situation, there are no excuses, but, as we get to know her better, I slowly began to warm up to her as she is consumed by her guilt as it almost takes over her entire life. Luckily, there are people around her that care enough about her to try to stop her and to be there for her when she hits rock bottom.

My desperate desire to do good came more from an overwhelming feeling of guilt for my past than from my moral compass. I knew eventually I would have to say something, do something, that made me uncomfortable because when you’re trying to be good, what choice do you have?

I fell in love with Ryan although he remained a fairly mysterious character for almost the entire book. He’s caring, thoughtful, a great lover but you just know that there’s something in his past – a drop-dead, fit as gorgeous teenager should not be hiding away playing video games all day. He should be running with the popular crowd but he’s not – what gives?

Brooke thinks she has it all planned out but things do not work out the way she planned which brings us to the scene of sexual violence. I think everyone knows, on embarking on this one, that this is going to happen, that the story is working slowly, inevitably towards a devastating conclusion and when it does happen, it is horrific and awful and you will want to put the book down but these situations really do happen and, even though it’s shocking to read, it’s beautifully handled and it brings into focus something that’s often kept in the shadows. It’s not gratuitous in any way at all and it’s not erotic not sensationalist – it’s brutal, raw and it’s realistic and it’s just horrific.

I will say, in case you’re wondering, that there is a happy ending and this is a stand alone love story – it’s just an angsty, difficult ride to get there but it’s a ride well worth taking. This is an exceptionally well-written and challenging piece of new adult fiction and it’s captivating and engrossing.

Highly recommended.

4 stars

For more reviews, please visit Sinfully Sexy Book Reviews or visit us on Facebook.

[Lady Vigilante (Feifei) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh. My. Lord. This book... Amazing. Beautiful. Sentimental. Did I mention HOT???!!!

The novel deals with the idea of rape and the cruelties rape victims go through BUT there's such a sweet and sensual romance born out of it!!! I honestly did not expect the author to successfully blend the horrors of rape with the beauty of love but it worked out MAGNIFICENTLY!!!!

Brooke is probably my favorite out of all the heroines I've read about. She is not our typical gal; she's been through piles of shit (some that were self-inflicted and well-deserved) but she perseveres through it all. She's a one-mission woman, seeking justice against the boys in the Fantasy Slut League who have terrorized and raped numerous girls. Her BFF committed suicide shortly after being raped. That's not it though. Before this, Brooke repeatedly slept with her BFF's boyfriend. Like WTF?? Talk about guilty...

Seriously though, what kind of heroine does that? However she does grow up and realize friendship is worth more than sex but TOO LATE!!!!! BFF is dead. Rapists keep raping. Victims terrorized into being quiet. Not our Brooke. She's got a vendetta and is seeking vengeance!!!!

Enter our hero Ryan!!!!! OMG!!!!! Like I totally thought I loved the upfront guys but something about the mysterious stranger turns me on!!! And there's nothing more mysterious than Ryan!! *squeal* There's so much drama going on and BAM Brooke and Ryan connect! Too bad Brooke doesn't tell Ryan about her vendetta and Ryan doesn't tell Brooke about his nightmarish secrets that coincide with her vendetta. OOPS!!

WARNING!!!! There is one VERY intense scene that is not suggested if you are a rape victim or if you're squeamish. I'm being honest when I say it it is greatly disturbing but it is a vital part of the book's plot so beware!!

But really, this book was simply amazing!!! I'm kicking myself for putting it off this long since it is one AWESOME read!! It makes you laugh one minute then sniffle then sigh then get angry.

5 STARS!!!! No wait, 10 ;)

[Lise *friends don't flag* · Rating 4 out of 5]

First off I have to say I really liked the way this new to me author writes. She took a very difficult and painfully awful topic and wove a story that had me so invested in the characters and storyline that I pretty much could not put the book down.

I may have a personal interest as well since I am a Mother of a 17 year old son and while I was reading this book last night, he had a small party at our house with five other teenagers; two of them female. So… It made me think that even though we always say, “Oh this could never happen in my family or to my kid” it just may or might.

So… back to the book. I loved how real Brooke was with her guilt, her despair, her need for revenge, and her love for Ryan.
I was very nervous, as I just knew Ryan was somehow linked but couldn’t quite nail it down.
The supporting casts of characters were ones that you either hated or loved. Simply adored Brooke’s Dad and her computer hacking friend, Terry. The FSL crew were simple despicable.

Even though I still find it hard to believe that this type of thing goes on especially to high school aged kids, I am glad the author addressed the topic and did not make it pretty. I was shocked at how graphic some of the scenes were written, but appreciate that things were not glossed over and therefore I will remember the impact this story had on me.

Of course I will also remember The nuclear orgasm

I think all you readers, if you do decide to read this book will note the ending and epilogue as most memorable, I know I will and I most definitely will be reading more from this author.

[*J* Too Many Books Too Little Time · Rating 5 out of 5]

5--Wowzer--Stars!!

Wowzers! That was intense! Seriously intense. The story just kept building and building and you just knew shit was going to hit the fan...so you're just waiting for it to happen. And when it does happen!



Kudos to the author for tackling this touchy subject. It's hard to imagine that things such as Fantasy Sex Leagues exist in high school. Hell, nothing like that went on in my high school. But it's quite scary to think about my own kids being in high school some day and the things that will be going on....I prefer to continuing living under a rock.



Going Under starts with our heroine Brooklyn attending the funeral of her friend Beth who commiteed suicide. Beth was raped by a member (or several) of the Fantasy Sex League and Brooklyn feels guilt over Beth's death.

Beth finds herself at a new school (Beth's old school) and face-to-face with the guy who raped Beth. She makes it her mission to out the Fantasy Sex League and bring justice to all of the victims, including Beth. Brooklyn hopes this will bring her relief for the guilt that she continues to carry.



Brooklyn also meets Ryan....who over time she falls in love with. Brooklyn tries to keep Ryan separate from her mission. With Ryan she is able to find peace from the guilt and maybe even a little bit of happiness.

The story really comes to head at about 86%. And readers should definitely be warned that even though I knew SOMETHING was coming it was still shocking to read nonetheless. And my heart broke for Brooklyn. And while good did come from the situation, it was still traumatic nonetheless.



All in all, this was a fantastic story, very well-written...and despite the heavy subject matter had several laugh-out-loud moments. And I didn't have to deduct any stars for lack of a HEA! Yay!

[Tessamari ♥Many Waters...♥ ~ Sweet Spot Book Blog · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 Stars

It’s the lesson you, as the reader, decide to learn; not the one I’m shoving down your throat. ~ S. Walden

This author has some major cojones; like huge, massive ones. Ms. Walden has some serious writing skills to tell a story such as this. This book is difficult to digest. I’m still trying to process everything. On the surface, this story is about a girl’s struggle to find forgiveness. Sounds simple, right? Not even close. There’s so much more going on underneath the surface, I don’t even know where to begin. I’m going to be blunt: This is not for everyone. If you are sensitive to stories involving rape, do not read this book. Parts of this book are disturbing and a little frightening. However, at the end of the day, the story did end happily; or at least as happy as one can be under the circumstances.

Fuck the world. Do what you feel is right.

Brooklyn, a.k.a. Brooke, is not an easy heroine to like. As a matter of fact, I kinda felt disgusted with her, especially at the beginning. The way she betrayed her best friend, Beth, seemed unforgivable. Beth was a victim, both of rape and of Brooke’s betrayal. She was beyond depressed. When Beth takes her own life, Brooke’s life was shattered even more. She felt responsible.

When she moves back in with her father, she ends up at the same high school as Beth. Moving to another H.S. in her Senior year was difficult enough, but unfortunately, she also comes face-to-face with Beth’s rapist, Cal. Immediately after their initial meeting, she finds her purpose: To make Cal pay for what he did to Beth. The more she dives head first into her role as avenger, she discovers more about Cal and his swim friends. They have this secret club called the “Fantasy Slut League.” Disgusting is what it is. This league of disturbing boys make a game of performing sexual acts with unsuspecting girls for points. It’s just so sick to think about it. What she doesn’t expect was to meet Ryan, a boy she first meets at Beth’s funeral. Instant attraction.

Instant. Physical. Chemical. Primal.

Ryan is wonderful. He’s sexy, smart and has an inner geek that just melts my heart. I LOVE RYAN. However, no matter how perfect he must be, Ryan is hiding something. For someone as perfect as him, why is he considered an outsider, a loner? Though she questions it, she never really dives into finding out why. It's not until towards the end do we find out his secret.

I thought my entire world shifted. My entire purpose. I no longer cared about revenge and guilt and victims. I cared about being with a boy who was nice to me, who treated me like I was the most important person in his life.

Ryan is everything Brooke wants, but feels like she doesn’t deserve. Since Beth’s death, Brooke doesn’t feel like she deserves happiness. For this reason, I felt very torn with Brooke’s character. Her martyr tendencies became annoying. Believe it or not, but I do want Brooke happy. Even after what she did to Beth, I felt that she did deserve it. The things Brooke does in this story will frustrate the hell out of you. She constantly puts herself in danger trying to do the greater good. However, when Cal and his friends start to put two and two together, the level of danger she’s in goes to a whole new level of fucked up.

Throughout the entire ordeal he was silently telling me one thing: “Don’t fuck with me. Don’t fuck with my friends.”

OMG. I don’t want to get into it, but there’s a scene in this story that I had to skim through because it was too disturbing. I couldn’t believe what was happening. My heart was racing and I was severely disturbed. I just couldn’t deal with it. Like I said in the beginning, this author has cojones. The way she wrote this story was crazy. She really knows how to tell a story and wasn’t afraid to make the reader feel. I can’t outright say that I enjoyed this story; it’s hard to enjoy such a dark ride, but I admit I was immersed in it. For that alone, it deserves the praise.

[Wendy · Rating 2 out of 5]

This books touches a very sensitive subject and as heartbreaking it was to see, this didn't grip me as much as I thought it would. I dare say it had a lot to do with the actual heroine Brooke, who was like a thorn in my side. I found her to be self-centred and conceited and it if wasn't for the supporting characters in this book, I would have given up.

If you like a lot of angst and drama this will probably be your cup of tea.

[Bren fall in love with the sea. · Rating 2 out of 5]

“Oil paints were wiser to the human condition, understanding our imperfections and giving us enough time to rework ourselves until we made things right.”
― S. Walden, Going Under

Before I even say anything else.

If you have ever been sexually harassed, sexually assaulted , raped, or if you have a difficult time with the most graphic of rape scenes, something that is sickening to read about, do not read this book .

If you have ever suffered from suicidal ideation, or knew someone who did or who find talk of suicide triggering do not read this book.

I mean it. This book can be triggering, and I even hesitated to do a review on it. But the author, thankfully does make a note of that as do almost every review were on here so that’s good

You know what it’s about if you read the blurb. If not – Brooke is in high school with a close friend of hers. Her best friend actually is raped,

Brooks, friend dies. She commit suicide.

Brooke wants to avenge her.

Brooke in advertently finds out that in her high school there’s a whole group of boys who have a secret sex club and may just be raping unsuspecting girls.

None of this is a spoiler you find it out quickly and it’s on the blurb

The writer is extraordinarily talented, she has written a novel that is extraordinary in many ways, but I just – I can’t give it above s two . I just can’t for reasons I will explain to you.


Some of this explanation will have to be done with spoilers, but not yet. Much of my trepidation had to do with two very graphic scenes. One of them was a rape scene and I consider the other one to be a rape scene too even though there there isn’t as much talk about that scene as the scene after it.

OK I really have to do this with spoilers now before I do that I want to list things I liked about the book.

The writing is a 10 of 10. Sometimes you can find a fantastic writer and a book that may be fantastic in its way, but it simply is not for you. That was the case here it is absolutely nothing against the writing or even the subject matter it’s just the way things unwound .

SPOILERS

First off, I was not prepared for the utter brutality of the rape scene. I knew there was going to be something because I’ve seen some of the other reviews, but nothing absolutely nothing could’ve prepared me for what I read. It was a little too much frankly, it was a little too much a lot too much and I just didn’t need to read it. And I’m not talking about just the long drawn out gang rape I’m talking about what happened in the swimming pool because in my mind that was ALSO rape.


They nearly murdered her. They tried to drown her. They felt her up. It may not have been intercourse, but it was rape nonetheless, and it was emotional torture.

Please understand I have read these types of books before .

in fact, the nowhere girls is probably my favorite book about young adult sexual assault and I’m not saying there were not graphic aspects to that. But this really turned into almost gratuitousness.

I’m not saying the writer did it on purpose. She seems a great writer and I want to stress that this is one of those rare times where I’m giving a low rating to a book that I really enjoyed for the first half. The first half was for me a four-star read . I like Brooke and she had me laughing.

But the second half was not for me it was distasteful it’s not just the rape scenes. It’s the fact that everything that led to the rape scenes felt fictitious.


Brooke was a smart girl. In fact, I dare to say she was a brilliant girl she never ever in 1 million years would have accepted a bottle of water from the man who raped her best friend, the man she knew, was raping other students. Never in 1 million years as soon as she accepted that bottle of water, I knew exactly what was going to happen before it happened.

I would venture to say that Brooke probably would not even have hung out with him to do the yearbook stuff .


By that point she knew who and what he was and she would not have spent five minutes in his company. This is based on how the writer drew her as a character. I could not buy into it. It seemed this event happened purely so they could take Brooke someplace and gang rape her.

I do not like books where I am snapped out of the book and can’t get immersed because the plot is too outlandish. I will repeat Brooke would never ever have been in that situation because I don’t believe Brooke would’ve spent five minutes with him taking photos not by that point.

Oh, by the way, please don’t think I’m blaming Brooke. Nothing could be further from the truth. In that respect the only people who are at fault here are the pieces of human excrement who did this to her all I’m saying is that the scene felt fake. I didn’t believe or buy into it.

Then there’s what happened with her and her boyfriend. I felt it was just an attached plot twist that didn’t need to be there. All it did was make the book longer and we all knew they were getting back together anyway so I don’t really understand what the point of that was.


These boys were human shit heads, and I really would’ve liked to see them get theirs. We don’t see the arrest , and I would’ve like to see Brooke get her revenge. But we were told not shown and after all that those boys put those girls through I wanted to see them suffer a little bit.

I really don’t think the whole thing with orgasming needed to be included. I understand why does the writer did it, I read her very sensitive and beautiful note at the end. I have a different point of view I think this book even though many enjoyed, it could have had an even bigger audience. If it had left some of those shocking things out as it is a lot of people can’t read it because they will be triggered by so many of the events that take place. It’s just a few things were not included in there it would have a much larger audience.

I was also not into the whole bodice ripper aspect of the book

Again, I have read every genre imaginable to human beings, and that includes bodice rippers but it’s tough reading a book about a brutal, gang rape and at the same time have the other half of the book be a bad ass graphic passionate sex scenes of Brooke and her new boyfriend,
described down to the. Minutia.

Every single graphic detail was in there.. I found the fact that he kept saying, and calling her Brooklyn a little creepy frankly, even though I like this character.

But I’m not sure what this book was trying to be. In some aspects, it reads like a sassy young adult novel some aspects and in some ways It is a dark and bleak, realistic, young adult novel, and in some areas it’s a bodice ripper.

I had a bad taste in my mouth after it ended. I really did.

I hope it doesn’t sound like I’m trashing this book because nothing could be further from the truth. I am glad I read it. I really really liked Brooke. I loved her dad ? I loved the cook at the diner she worked at , I like the boyfriend, and I easily forgive him, for what happened I mean he was practically a baby when it happened! I never blamed him.

But I would really urge caution to people .

of course if you’re still reading this review, you may have already read the book. I would welcome comments on this one I really would. I do think it’s a good book club selection, but I would love to know what others Who read this think and feel not just about the book but about my review as well.

[Smitten's Book Blog · Rating 4 out of 5]

Erm... Hmm... wow... Okay, I need to be careful in my review here as I feel like this is so sensitive...

This review will contain minor and major spoilers. I will hide the major ones, but I don't feel I can write a review without the minor ones.

This was a very dark, brutally intense story. It deals with in depth, detailed cases of rape and sexual abuse. It contains predatory, evil characters and some incredibly harrowing, emotional topics.

Loss, guilt, betrayal, lies, gang rape, violence, bullying, grief... it's all there in Going Under. And not only is it there, it is written about with no holds barred... there is no where to hide from this excruciatingly painful journey. I feel that I need to get that out there before I go on. This book will not be for everybody. If you are easily disturbed or at all closed minded, do not read this book.

However, if you can deal with the heartache, then this book is well written, thought provoking and does have a HEA.

It was decided. I was going to let Ryan Foster do me.

So, you've probably noticed that I've only given this four stars... Let me try to explain. Firstly, I really wanted to love the heroine, and for the most part, I did. But then I had this niggle in the back of my mind about what she did to her best friend, Beth, with Beth's boyfriend, Finn. I couldn't seem to let that go. That, to me, is unforgivable. And it wasn't like she was head over heels in love with him. She broke her friends heart, lied and cheated on the BFF she'd known since she were a little girl, for some random boy that made her feel tingly when he kissed her. And not only that, she knew that Beth had been raped and carried on the affair. That is just not okay. I had trouble with finding forgiveness for that and, as a result, found it difficult to really connect with Brooke as much as I'd have liked.

I did like that she owned her sexuality. She was an ordinary eighteen year old girl who enjoyed and wanted sex. (Perhaps a little too much, if her relationship with Finn is anything to go by) She recognised her sexual attraction to Ryan and wanted to act upon it.

He looked at me with those ocean eyes, his brows furrowed in thought, and I decided in that moment I didn't want to hang out. I wanted to make out. Hard.

She was witty and strong, most of the time. I liked her relationship with Gretchen and I likes that she had a backbone. In that way, she was relateable and, surprisingly for such a dark book, I laughed a lot.

"I was just embarrassed. I thought I kissed you all wrong." He hung his head.
"Are you kidding me?" I asked. "I nearly came."
I am the biggest moron on the planet. Why did I say that?

Brooke's guilt leads her down a path of self destruction and into dangerous waters. She can't shift the burden of her betrayal and as a result, tried to avenge her late friends honor.

Seduce him without him knowing, give him the perfect opportunity to take advantage of me, then make hi pay for it afterwards. Could I actually go through with it, though? Could I give up my body as a sacrifice to seek vengeance? Was I strong enough? Crazy enough?

I loved that there was such a strong storyline to this book. The plot was solid, well thought out and totally intriguing. I couldn't imagine how it was going to end and I was happy with the way it did.

"I'll tell you," he said. "But first, let me say how much I love you, Brooke. I told you a long time ago in a bad place when I was a bad person. I'm not there anymore, and I'm not that boy, but my love for you has never changed. I love you. I'll always love you. There simply isn't anyone else."

I loved Ryan. He is a great character that epitomises the perfect saviour. There were some fantastic scenes that built a delicious sexual tension between Brooke and Ryan. I'd have loved to read a little more about Ryan, but there was so much more to the story that I felt he took a bit of a back seat to the rest of the plot.

Ryan chuckled. "You're going to be my trouble this year, aren't you?" he asked softly.
Hell yeah I was.

Brooke's rape is intense. My heart was hammering the whole time and I was like 'What? No! Surely not!!' It was a bold, ballsy move from S. Walden, to write that scene in and I commend her for doing so. It made such a profound difference to the rest of the book.

Overall, this is a book reaches out to places I've never been when reading a book, it's so 'stand alone', unlike anything else I've ever read, that I can't really find anything to compare it to. The writing is brave and unapologetic and I loved it for that. I wanted to help Brooke on her crusade and I couldn't put it down. I needed to know what happened. I needed to know whether the evil characters suffered their comeuppance and whether Brooke was able to let go of her guilt.

"There's still time, Brooke. There's always time to make it right."
"No, Beth. There's no time," I said out loud, choking on the words.

So, there we go. Like I said, it won't be for everybody, but I think I've included enough warnings and explanation that if you like the sound of it all, you'll enjoy this book. Just, be warned, it's as brutal as they come!



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[BookHeroin · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 STAR
Genres:Abuse/New Adult
This is a New Adult fiction book with mature themes. It contains graphic sex and language and a description of sexual violence.



wow! That was so intense and Dark! I absolotely loved the story, or more like the idea behind it.

This book was about:

A secret Fantasy sex slut league.




threats, tears, victims, heartache, love and death...








----------------------------------------------------------------------

The swim team in Charity Run High School was Involved in this "Fantasy sex slut league". they would score girls based on their sexual experiences:

Virgins
Good girl
Sluts
Whores

Sometimes this twisted game would get out of control, so they end up raping most of the girls. drug them. rape them. dump them.

This whole game lead to the death of Brooke's best friend, so now she wants revenge!














There were so many disturbing and sad things in this book. and Now that Brooke founds the truth, what would she do?

would she keeps it to herself? report it? go public with it? or just simply seek revenge on her own?

Would Ryan be more than just her sweet boyfriend? would he be involved in this twisted club?





Thoughts:

I liked this so much, the idea was great, i just wish the setting was different, University maybe? this would of been more epic and a lot eventful!
there were things i didn't like about it, for example things were a little unexplained like when Lucy< a victim. start talking about Cal < asshole rapist . and then she mention how she went to prom with him and he was in then 9th grade but he drove and has a car. wasn't he too young? I don't know maybe the usa law is different but Brooke found this to be weird but Lucy shushed her and they didn't speak about it after that!
And the fact that they started doing that at the age of 14? i know maybe it would make the whole thing more disturbing but i really would have loved if the setting were more Mature than this!
Then ending was shocking i LOVE it.

[Ilze · Rating 5 out of 5]

Is there anyone you would like to forgive, but feel stuck perpetually revisiting awful details of what was done? What if that person is you? How do you forgive yourself?



This was a beautiful, heartbreaking story filled with suspense, romance, abuse and Brooklyns struggle to forgive herself for the mistakes she made.

Brooklyns best friend committed suicide after she was raped, and Brooklyn struggles to forgive herself for what she did to her just before her death. She starts her senior year in a new school, in the school Beth, her best friend was going. After meeting Cal, she discovers her purpose. She thinks that in order to make things right with Beth she has to make Cal pay for what he did. Later she learns that there is a secret club “Fantasy Slut League,” where members score girls for their sexual acts. The more Brooke investigates the more she discovers, and what she discovers is worse than you can possibly imagine. By trying to bring the justice Brooke underestimates the members of the club and just how far they are willing to go to keep their club a secret...


"I realized I needed to look at evil in an entirely different light. Most bad guys weren’t walking around with eyes bugged out. Most bad guys didn’t come across freaky and frightening, hiding in shadowed corners with insane grins plastered across their faces. Most bad guys were your normal, everyday guys moving through life like anyone else. Going to school. Going to work. Going to church, even. They were hard to spot, and that’s what made them so good at being bad. They were sneaky. They could get away with it, and they knew it."



Sometimes it was really hard to turn the page, because I really did not want to read those awful stories that broke my heart, but I read them, and I couldn't stop reading till I was finished with the book.



I truly loved it. It was a emotional read, suspenseful and little bit dark. The characters were great, each of them had their own unique characteristics, which makes you love/hate them strongly! Mix of suspense and romance made it an amazing story. Once I started it I had a difficulty to put it down...


the world is a dangerous place to live

[Farah · Rating 4 out of 5]

How far is Brooke willing to go for forgiveness??



Guilt consumes her...
Brooks best friend Beth kills herself after getting raped and then later finding out her best friend Brooke was sleeping with her boyfriend.

When Brookes mother moves away, she decides to stay with her dad and go to Beths old high school for her senior year.
She's going to get Justice for Beth..

Expose the monster who raped her.. And stole her best friend away..



The boy who got away with his crime..
Cal..

Her plan: Lure him to be with her, get raped herself then report it so he can get his punishment and justice will be served!



But plans never go the way they supposed to...

During Brooks mission she discovers a secret Club.. The fantasy Sex club..

Where boys in a group drug girls and do things to them or rape them.. Date rape!



They get points on their score sheet for this.

She starts asking questions....



Brooke never intended to meet Ryan.. A sweet guy who is a loner..
She falls in love with him- but at an arms length. She doesn't want to involve him in her plan..



This makes Brooke question what she's doing and if she should go through with it..

"Whenever you try hard to keep from being involved in something, it finds you out, forces you into the situation, and you’ve no choice but to act out of a sense of moral responsibility because deep down your heart is good, and you want to do good."

As smart and strong as Brooke is, we discover how she isn't really that strong inside.
Dreams of Beth haunt her...

What is the ultimate sacrifice to RIGHT her Wrongs? She changes her plan to expose the group without getting hurt but how does one girl do it against so many guys?

Brooke endures the most horrific rape and reports it.




The boys finally get arrested and Justice is served.
But this just leaves Brooke as a broken soul. She finds out that sweet Ryan knew about this but didn't come forward! She is shattered!



Not only did she loose her love for Ryan but her self worth in the process.
A broken damaged girl.

Not to worry...
This story does have a HEA

"I told you a long time ago in a bad place when I was a bad person. I’m not there anymore, and I’m not that boy, but my love for you has never changed. I love you. I’ll always love you. There simply isn’t anyone else.”

Brooke and Ryan reunite after 3 years and are still together a year later..




This is an intense and emotional book and is not for sensitive readers.
The description of the book mostly gives away the entire story.

[Jennifer Kyle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Going Under was a well written story which definitely held my attention. I just didn’t care for the story as a whole.

I liked the main character Brooke, I found her to be so real, funny, haunted and relatable. Her father and best friend Gretchen were just terrific and even the swim team boys were well done. I loved her quest and crusade for revenge and forgiveness.

I think the last twenty percent of the book, which all the 5 star reviews loved is where I fell off the loving bandwagon. There were so many other directions the story could have brought a reader. What occurred in the last twenty percent of the book was the obvious choice to me although it was harsh to read it I was left annoyed and not wowed.

I also found a certain neighbor’s connection to the story not surprising in the least. To me, something was amiss between the hero and heroine.

I would recommend this book because perhaps it just wasn’t for me.

[Kellie Maddox-Ward · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a crazy ass phenomenal idea for a story…

It was moody, dark, real, angsty, serious, funny, in your face, terrible, terrifying.

The way I felt while reading this?



Brooklyn is a horrible best friend.

She pushed her best friend Beth into dating Finn

And then starting sleeping with him behind her back.

She is caught red handed.. or should I say red faced by Beth leading to the destruction of their 16 year relationship.

Beth wants nothing more to do with Brooke.

So when Beth kills herself Brooke can’t live with herself.

She already knows she is a horrible person, a terrible best friend but now that they will never speak to her again, she feels like the only way to make it up to her is to get revenge.

Because Brooke knows why she killed herself, and has kept her promise to never tell a soul.

While at the funeral, Brooke meets the most beautiful boy she has ever seen. She is disgusted with herself that she is flirting with him. At her best friends funeral.

Her Mum moves to Los Angeles, so she moves in with her Dad.

That means a new school, new friends….

No one knows she knew Beth.
All she wants to do is get her revenge against Cal. One of the more popular boys in school.
He is also the boy that raped Beth...

Brooke's big plan? Get close to Cal... close enough that he will rape her and she can press charges No I didn't give anything away as we find that out about 3-4% into the book

As Brooke digs into the past she finds out all about “The Fantasy Slut League."

Yep Cal and his swim team have an exclusive club. Where whoever bags which girl gets points. Based on easiness.
They keep and use scores against girls. Who gets a kiss, a blow job,

Brooke decides this is too big for just her, so she gets the help of a local hacker she works with her and her other BFF.
What they find out is unnerving.

And starts about her revenge towards the boys that did Beth so wrong.

Along the way she meets and starts to fall for Ryan the beautiful boy at the funeral.
He is quiet and shy and stays away from the out- going swim team boys.
So many secrets about him. What's his story? Why the loser like status? Why was he at the funeral?

Brooke is falling badly for Ryan But she can’t give up her revenge for Cal and the guys… Ryan can't know what she is up too...

But what happens when Cal and the boys figure out what she’s up too?

They have given her warnings… she just isn’t listening to them….

How will it all end?

For me it went like this...

85%


87%


89%


90%


91%


94%


96%


99%


MY THOUGHTS


Serious serious fucked up issues are going on this book.
I’m not going to lie. This may be set in a high school but it isn’t really a YA book.

There is a rape scene. Written from the victims POV. In and out of consciousness. It is not extensionally descriptive, but still hard to read.

There is talk of rape.
It is about suicide.
It is also about group of “boys” who spike drinks and then rape girls for “sport” then brag about it.

But god damn did I LOVE, INHALE AND DEVOUR IT!

You might be wondering why I mentioned it was light in the middle of talking about how dark is was? Yes it is based about revenge for a rape. But there is a few cute moments. Like when Ryan teaches her how to skateboard.
When she is vacuuming trying to impress him and he catches her?
Her Dad getting ready to date again. TOO CUTE!

Ok…so

You understand why she is doing what she is doing.

But you don’t want her too.

You want to keep falling for the beautiful Ryan not go on dates with Cal to get close to him.

but all in all , you can’t help just devouring every page waiting to get to the end to know how it all ends.

And BOY…

WHAT A FREAKING ENDING!!
If you are looking for something different to read then light and fluffy YA. This is def it!

I will be reading more from this author

[S.R. Grey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh my goodness, such an amazing story. It's still on my mind today. Overall, the writing is fantastic and the pacing keeps you turning the pages. The dialogue is witty and had me laughing out loud often. I liked the main character, and her dad was fantastic. Ryan was a definite hottie, but midway through he had far too few appearances for my liking. I would have preferred more of him and less of, say, the therapist.
Back to the primary story though... The big scene near the end that the whole book leads up to blew me away. It's raw and hard to read, and I wanted to literally crawl through the pages and kick some ass for Brooke. One thing that bugged me prior to that scene is WHY would she EVER accept the Sprite from Cal??? *shakes head* That, and the fact I don't see how she and Ryan kept their secrets from one another when they were supposedly boyfriend and girlfriend for months, made me drop one star. But it's still a book I recommend checking out.

[Jiana · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book discusses a very heavy and sensitive subject. It states it clearly in the blurb. So reader discretion is advised!

I’ve had this book on my to-read list for years! I finally came around to reading it and I quite liked it a lot. It was a bit slow at times but overall a good book. I liked the main character, Brooke. She had a lot on her plate and I think her emotions were well dealt with by the author. Ryan, the love interest, oh boi was HOT. I was flipping through the pages just to get to his parts. 😍

This book is raw. It was tough to read at times. There is a graphic rape scene that was very tough to get through as I’m not used to encountering that in books. S. Walden’s writing was easy to read, but nothing particularly unique about it. I don’t really care though! I liked it anyway. At first, the writing seemed pretty annoying to me but it did a 180 degree change early on, becoming much better.

Would definitely recommend!

[m. · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 “That was one heck of a wild ride” Stars



Wow. This book was completely and utterly fascinating. And frustrating. And beautiful. And ugly, so very, very ugly. Horrible. But horribly beautiful and compelling, if such a thing can even exist. I expected to like it, even love it, simply because S. Walden is one heck of an amazing writer. However, if I’m being honest, I did much more than simply love it, I was extremely passionate about it. I’m absolutely head over heels in love with this book. I cannot put my finger onto one single thing I didn’t like. Which, if you ask me, is rather ironic, because there was a lot of things NOT to like about this book. And I sure didn’t like a lot of them. But I’ve never been happier to hate something so much. Confused? Well, let me explain;

Going Under is the story of a girl named Brooklyn who, after her best friend, Beth, commits suicide because she’s been raped, feels completely lost, heartbroken, and guilty. So very, very guilty. Why, you’ll ask? Well, Brooklyn was fooling around with Beth’s boyfriend behind her back. They didn’t have a chance to talk before Beth took her life, leaving Brooklyn, therefore, feeling extremely remorseful and guilt-ridden. For that reason, Brooklyn, who feels like she has to avenge her best friend for what happened to her, decides to ruin the guy who rapped Beth, and make him pay for what he did. However, as soon as Brooklyn sets foot into Beth’s High School for her senior year, she realizes that something about that school is awfully wrong; girls are being secretive, some have drastically changed, some seem to tremble at the mere thought of walking through the school’s hallways. Something is not right, as in, dreadfully not right. Beth wasn’t the only victim of the High School swim team. It’s a horrible thing to say, but Brooklyn has no other choice but to willingly put herself into the hands of the people who abused of Beth if she ever want to get justice for her. She just didn’t know there was a possibility that she might fall in love in the way…



So, what can I possibly say? I loved this book, but I hated it too. I hated it because of what it talked about, I hated it because it repelled me, I hated it because it shook me to my very soul. And I loved it for all of these reasons. It made me feel, it made me react, and it sure made me utter a few choice words aloud. Not going to lie. I don’t think a book that is centered on the subjects of rape and gang rape is a book that could be called beautiful. But I’ll say that it was many other things; bold, courageous, eye-opening, and so much more. Dare I say beautiful? Yes, I will. It was a beautiful end to a horrific story.

I normally don’t really write about female lead character, but I needed to talk about Brooklyn. Brooklyn needs to be talked about. This girl was extremely brave. If I’m being honest, and this is not a true story so she doesn’t exist for real, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t admire her. You want a strong woman who stands up for herself? You’ve found it. Brooklyn didn’t only stand-up for herself, she stood up for all those other girls who were afraid to do it. I’m not saying the other girls were weak, far from that, they were just frightened. Terrified. And they had all the reasons to be. And honestly, if I had been in Brooklyn’s shoes, I wouldn’t have done half of the things she did. Us, book people, will sometimes choose “book boyfriends”, well, if I had a category for “heroes”, Brooklyn would be at the very top. No doubt. I loved everything about her, and I wish I was more like her. She taught me a lot, that’s for sure.

Now, it’s pretty much in the warning, but there IS a rape scene at some point. Was it hard to read? Terribly. Was it awful? Yes, absolutely. I can’t say that I didn’t want to throw my e-reader into the wall a couple of times. Because I did. I was fuming mad. Enraged. But it happened and there was NOTHING I could do. And quite honestly, it made me love Brooklyn all the more. This girl is tough. Why am I talking about this rape scene? Because there has been some critic about the fact that the person who’s being raped in the book has an orgasm. The author even decided to explain herself on the matter, it’s at the end of the book. I’ll say this; I completely agree with her. Orgasms during rape happen much more than we think. There isn’t, unfortunately, a lot of research on the matter. But I was glad the author decided to include it in her book, simply because it raised awareness to the matter. It’s not because a woman “comes” while being raped, that it isn’t a rape. And many women who experience orgasms in such horrible situations decide to stay silent because they’re afraid they’re going to be told what they experienced wasn’t rape. It’s, I think, definitely a subject on which there HAS to be more research, and it HAS to be talked about so that women aren’t afraid to denounce it anymore. Period. Full-stop. The end. If S. Walden wants to address it in her book, I say great! Amazing. Let’s at least start a conversation.



In the end, I’d say this book was truly remarkable. S. Walden never fails to amaze me and this book was just another proof of it. It was a wild ride, a shocking ride and a frustrating ride. I love bold authors, and I’d say S. Walden does it to perfection. I can’t be any happier that this book was written. Thank you.

[Pilar ☽ · Rating 4 out of 5]

“People take advantage of good people. That's what I mean. So don't be a sucker.”

Holy shit, this was one hell of a story! Wow.

Going Under was hard to read. It was sad, heart-breaking, intense and raw but at the same time it was beautiful, powerful, sentimental and sweet! I loved how the author blended everything together, she has got me wired up with so many different kinds of emotions.

This book is a gritty portrayal of many harsh realities and agonizing circumstances, sometimes I didn't feel comfortable liking and enjoying this book so much but the way S.Walden wrote the story captivated me from the beginning! She delivers a compelling story with the power to evoke tears and laughs alike.

Now talking about the characters, all of them were believable and real. I really liked Brooke! She was awesome. I loved her inner-strenght, her spunk and her fight. Sometimes I found myself getting a little bit annoyed because, like I always say, I hate reading guilty and crying characters but well, she had her motives. I also loved her relationship with Ryan! It was so cute, sweet and mmmh, so hot! Those two were meant to be.

“I thought if I stared a little longer I could see right inside his head, to his brain, and I don’t know why that turned me on so much. I wanted to witness the workings of his mind, the firing synapses, information traveling safely inside neurons to different parts of his body. A few made it to his hand, and they must have told him to keep holding mine because he didn’t let go.”

-SPOILERSSS-

I was so fucking mad and sad when Brooke had to suffer being raped by those three assholes! Ugh, I knew something bad was coming and it had my stomach in knots and I was on the edge of my seat from the very beginning but I didn't expect Cal to be a fucking maniac. I WANTED TO KILLED THEM ALL! Thanks god, they got what they deserved... Well not really, they deserved to have their dicks cut off. Fucking assholes.

It was an intense journey but I absolutely enjoyed and loved everything about it! I'm now a huge fan of S.Walden, I loved her writing and how she portrayed the story. Soon I'll be checking more of her work!

[Annie Brewer · Rating 5 out of 5]

*exhales*

Damn. This shit was intense. I knew with the subject matter it was gonna be a difficult read, but that one scene. God damn. I'm seriously still reeling from it, what Brooke had to go through. It was heart-poundingly brutal. I literally felt sick to my stomach. I had to take deep breaths and stop for a minute, let my tears dry so I could continue. This isn't for the faint of the heart that's for sure. The author kept me glued to the pages despite the intensity of the situation. I just feared for her, no way out or anyone to help her. I wanted to crawl through my kindle and beat the ever loving shit out of those sons of bitches.
OMG!

I don't know why I'm so drawn to these kinda reads but I always come back to them. I'm a sick fuck is all I can conclude. Either way, it was a story I'm glad I read. One I won't soon forget. I was literally laughing one minute then shaking from outrage the next. I swear it evoked every fucking emotion one could ever feel. It was a rollercoaster of adrenaline but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

Brooke was one badass chica. I felt awful for her and all the guilt she wore as armour. Yeah, she made a mistake but she paid the ultimate price. I'm sure Beth is feeling pretty shitty now. I'm very happy in the end, though, how she was finally able to forgive herself and let go of all the guilt and self-loathing.

Ryan. Oh that mysterious sexy boy. Yeah, he made mistakes too. I can't fault him though. He was young and put in a situation where his life was threatened. Of course he did what he did. I never hated him for it or thought he was a disgusting bastard. I ached for that 14 year old, unknowingly placed in a terrible situation. But he was an amazing soul. He never hurt Brooke or made her feel anything but beautiful and happy. He gave me those swarmy butterflies. Ah. He was a hero in my eyes.

Gretchen. I loved this chick. She was the perfect best friend. There for Brooke through everything. She was funny and fierce, beautiful and sassy. I just loved her. She always told Brooke to get over herself but not in the condescending way, just the matter-of-fact way. Sometimes Brooke needed that. She needed someone to shake her up a bit. Occasionally she got on my nerves, acting ridiculous and obnoxious or naive but then she'd realize it herself, change her tune and I'd forgive her. Gretchen was able to put her in her place but she always did it lovingly. I loved her character through and through.

Mr. Wright. Fuck I forgot his name. Oh yeah, Dad. He was awesome!! I loved how he was quick to daddy duties from the beginning even though he hadn't been around Brooke enough. She was still his little girl and he protected her like a Proud Papa. Even in front of Ryan. Their first meeting was hilarious but that is how every father should react to meeting their daughter's boyfriend, no matter what. I just loved him. In that one scene, I bawled for him too. It changed everything. But he was still so supportive the whole time.
Damn, my eyes are watering again. I can't get that scene out of my head...
I loved the ending.
Overall, it was an incredibly daunting story but one I was glad I chose to experience.
Now I want more like it.
I'm a sicko I know.
But it's more the outcome of the situation, how the character overcomes the worst of circumstances and comes out stronger. It's raw, it's real, it's brutal but it's life. This. Shit. Happens. And more often than not, people don't wanna accept it so they turn a blind eye. In alot of ways, this reminded me of 13 Reasons Why, one of my favorites. It was a completely different story but many similarities between the two.
Anyway, well done.
Now I want more.