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Sito: An American Teenager and the City that Failed Him
A riveting and heart-wrenching story of violence, grief and the American justice system, exploring the systemic issues that perpetuate gang participation in one of the wealthiest cities in the country, through the story of one teenager.
In September of 2019, Luis Alberto Quiñonez—known as Sito— was shot to death as he sat in his car in the Mission District of San Francisco. He was nineteen. His killer, Julius Williams, was seventeen. It was the second time the teens had encountered one another. The first, five years before, also ended in tragedy, when Julius watched as his brother was stabbed to death by an acquaintance of Sito’s. The two murders merited a few local news stories, and then the rest of the world moved on.
But for the families of the slain teenagers, it was impossible to move on. And for Laurence Ralph, the stepfather of Sito’s half-brother who had dedicated much of his academic career to studying gang-affiliated youth, Sito’s murder forced him to revisit a subject of scholarly inquiry in a profoundly different, deeply personal way.
Written from Ralph's perspective as both a person enmeshed in Sito's family and as an Ivy League professor and expert on the entanglement of class and violence, SITO is an intimate story with an message about the lived experience of urban danger, and about anger, fear, grief, vengeance, and ultimately grace.
In September of 2019, Luis Alberto Quiñonez—known as Sito— was shot to death as he sat in his car in the Mission District of San Francisco. He was nineteen. His killer, Julius Williams, was seventeen. It was the second time the teens had encountered one another. The first, five years before, also ended in tragedy, when Julius watched as his brother was stabbed to death by an acquaintance of Sito’s. The two murders merited a few local news stories, and then the rest of the world moved on.
But for the families of the slain teenagers, it was impossible to move on. And for Laurence Ralph, the stepfather of Sito’s half-brother who had dedicated much of his academic career to studying gang-affiliated youth, Sito’s murder forced him to revisit a subject of scholarly inquiry in a profoundly different, deeply personal way.
Written from Ralph's perspective as both a person enmeshed in Sito's family and as an Ivy League professor and expert on the entanglement of class and violence, SITO is an intimate story with an message about the lived experience of urban danger, and about anger, fear, grief, vengeance, and ultimately grace.
320 pages, Hardcover
Published February 20, 2024
7 people are currently reading
3333 people want to read
About the author
Laurence Ralph
10 books50 followersLaurence Ralph is a Professor of Anthropology at Princeton University. Before that, he was a Professor of African American Studies and Anthropology at Harvard University, where he taught for nearly a decade. He earned his Ph.D. (2010) and Masters of Arts degrees (2006) in Anthropology from the University of Chicago, and a Bachelor of Science degree (2004) from Georgia Institute of Technology, where he majored in History, Technology and Society. His research and writing explores how police abuse, mass incarceration, and crime make disease, disability, and premature death seem like natural outcomes for people of color, who are often seen as expendable by “polite” society.
Ralph is known for using careful and deliberate description rather than esoteric theory to ensure that his research findings are comprehensible to a broader range of intellectuals, experts, college students, and curious readers. In each of his research projects, he discusses experiences of violence, debilitating injury, and/or death to examine the stereotypes and prejudices associated with America’s inner-cities.
Ralph has been awarded a number of honors and prestigious fellowships for his research, some of which include: Cultural Anthropology grants from the National Science Foundation as well as the Wenner Gren Foundation, the Andrew Carnegie Fellowship from the Carnegie Corporation of New York, a visiting fellowship from the Radcliffe Institute for Advanced Study, membership at the Institute for Advanced Study, a Ford Foundation Diversity Postdoctoral Fellowship from the National Research Council of the National Academies, and the Du Bois-Mandela-Rodney Post-Doctoral fellowship from the University of Michigan.
Ralph currently lives in Princeton, New Jersey with his wife and daughter.
Ralph is known for using careful and deliberate description rather than esoteric theory to ensure that his research findings are comprehensible to a broader range of intellectuals, experts, college students, and curious readers. In each of his research projects, he discusses experiences of violence, debilitating injury, and/or death to examine the stereotypes and prejudices associated with America’s inner-cities.
Ralph has been awarded a number of honors and prestigious fellowships for his research, some of which include: Cultural Anthropology grants from the National Science Foundation as well as the Wenner Gren Foundation, the Andrew Carnegie Fellowship from the Carnegie Corporation of New York, a visiting fellowship from the Radcliffe Institute for Advanced Study, membership at the Institute for Advanced Study, a Ford Foundation Diversity Postdoctoral Fellowship from the National Research Council of the National Academies, and the Du Bois-Mandela-Rodney Post-Doctoral fellowship from the University of Michigan.
Ralph currently lives in Princeton, New Jersey with his wife and daughter.
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
November 10, 2023
This is a story you will never forget. The author, Laurence Ralph is the stepfather of title character Sito’s half-brother. Ralph is also a professor of Anthropology at Princeton who has written quite a bit about gangs and policing issues.
Sito is only 19 when he is murdered and the murderer is 17. Ralph plunges in to learn more about the gang culture in San Fransisco and learns and reveals just how broken the system is. Sito was clawing his way out of the hole he had dug as a teen and his murder was tied to old behaviors. Ralph discovers gangs reach far into the jail and juvenile system and reform has done little to change the cycle. Learn more about the American Justice System and the failures of it in SITO #Sito #LaurenceRalph #Grandcentral
Sito is only 19 when he is murdered and the murderer is 17. Ralph plunges in to learn more about the gang culture in San Fransisco and learns and reveals just how broken the system is. Sito was clawing his way out of the hole he had dug as a teen and his murder was tied to old behaviors. Ralph discovers gangs reach far into the jail and juvenile system and reform has done little to change the cycle. Learn more about the American Justice System and the failures of it in SITO #Sito #LaurenceRalph #Grandcentral
February 17, 2024
An impactful read. Sito was a young man who was killed as a result of gang violence. This book highlights many important challenges facing minors, minorities and young men when it comes to criminal justice. The only downfall for me was I wish Sito’s life was delved into a little more. Important aspects of his life seemed to be missed.
March 14, 2024
Thank you #partner @grandcentralpub for my #gifted copy
Sito
Laurence Ralph
This is the tragic story of Luis "Sito" Alberto Quiñonez, a San Franciscan teen who was murdered by another teen following his own imprisonment, for a crime he didn't commit. I felt equal parts rage and sorrow at Sito's lost life and potential, as at the time of his murder he was turning his life around.
Author Laurence Ralph has a unique connection to the case as the stepfather of Sito's half sibling. Ralph is also a professor at Princeton and has studied gang affiliated youth and the intersection of class and violence, giving him an important voice on the topic. At its core, Sito is an exploration of urban violence, and the ways in which our criminal justice system fails the most vulnerable. Though this was a difficult read, it's also important and timely. I definitely recommend!
📌 Available now
Sito
Laurence Ralph
This is the tragic story of Luis "Sito" Alberto Quiñonez, a San Franciscan teen who was murdered by another teen following his own imprisonment, for a crime he didn't commit. I felt equal parts rage and sorrow at Sito's lost life and potential, as at the time of his murder he was turning his life around.
Author Laurence Ralph has a unique connection to the case as the stepfather of Sito's half sibling. Ralph is also a professor at Princeton and has studied gang affiliated youth and the intersection of class and violence, giving him an important voice on the topic. At its core, Sito is an exploration of urban violence, and the ways in which our criminal justice system fails the most vulnerable. Though this was a difficult read, it's also important and timely. I definitely recommend!
📌 Available now
September 29, 2024
such a sad journey... just very difficult to wrap the mind around so much INTIMATE violence and tragedy
my boys group that i run at school is starting up in a few weeks and this will be on my mind for it
i have thoughts but i don't think they would be productive re: julius' sentencing... i will say that i think the subtitle isn't necessary or could be rewritten, as i was expecting more discussion of san fran systems that sito would've interacted with... i didn't connect personally with the santeria aspects so i found them distracting but a welcome distraction from the sad story... i see nuances of the story of sito and rashawns intertwined lives as underlining the point that "everybody is somebody's baby" which makes me want the same type of book from julius' perspective more than anything
for me the core argument of this that manifests by the end of reading is:
1) modern policing and those employed to police is so broken and ceded to the most non-empathetic, racist, classist breed of American that it must be completely deconstructed before anything else can be done...
1.a) even the nurses, doctors, a majority the people in key service-provision agencies throughout this story are just such rigid beings or lead with this hyper-rigid facade that only melts when they can chill the fuck out for a second ("get out of the car" "bro either you kill me and i go to the morgue or i drive myself there im going to see my son" "oh... sorry.... slow down" ???? like you are the state! drive him there yourself! what does that mean, slow down!)... the desire to just "do ones job" as an atomized individual under capitalism is not wrong inherently, but ultimately it harms others... capitalism drives us to the point where we are afraid to be empathetic in our jobs, lest we be fired and forced to suffer without medical care or housing! it is at its core an issue with capitalism from which this all grows
2) the myth of modernity, that 'the youth are in a different place than we are from generations before' is sooooo cracked, they killing each other up just the same... violent crime is down is great but i want violent crime gone period i don't want kids killing kids is that so idyllic
3) there can be no safety without serious, oppressive gun regulation + that regulation needs to be administered from NON-POLICE ENTITIES or it wont work! bc police have engendered such distrust and disdain for literally hundreds of years from all communities! which is just! a conundrum!
4) communities... not the annoying etsy sticker "build community"-community but real Communities need to be built, maintained, and enabled to enact restoration on their own terms... and to have that really requires a deconstruction of 8-hour-workday, 12-hour-shift, hour-long-commute Capitalism so that people have the literal TIME and ENERGY to be with each other, plan and put on events, and build connection...
4.a.) this doesn't mean "we need social workers, not cops!" is right either bc a key component of this is state surveillance... if i have the ability to do some kind of violence as a social worker, whether that is forced removal of a child from the home, institutionalization, etc., then i am in essence a cop. when coupled with the frame of mind from 1.a., its clear that there needs to be a wider overhaul of SYSTEMS rather than trying to swap one Worker for another. speaking as a social worker myself ofc.
anyway great, sad read
my boys group that i run at school is starting up in a few weeks and this will be on my mind for it
i have thoughts but i don't think they would be productive re: julius' sentencing... i will say that i think the subtitle isn't necessary or could be rewritten, as i was expecting more discussion of san fran systems that sito would've interacted with... i didn't connect personally with the santeria aspects so i found them distracting but a welcome distraction from the sad story... i see nuances of the story of sito and rashawns intertwined lives as underlining the point that "everybody is somebody's baby" which makes me want the same type of book from julius' perspective more than anything
for me the core argument of this that manifests by the end of reading is:
1) modern policing and those employed to police is so broken and ceded to the most non-empathetic, racist, classist breed of American that it must be completely deconstructed before anything else can be done...
1.a) even the nurses, doctors, a majority the people in key service-provision agencies throughout this story are just such rigid beings or lead with this hyper-rigid facade that only melts when they can chill the fuck out for a second ("get out of the car" "bro either you kill me and i go to the morgue or i drive myself there im going to see my son" "oh... sorry.... slow down" ???? like you are the state! drive him there yourself! what does that mean, slow down!)... the desire to just "do ones job" as an atomized individual under capitalism is not wrong inherently, but ultimately it harms others... capitalism drives us to the point where we are afraid to be empathetic in our jobs, lest we be fired and forced to suffer without medical care or housing! it is at its core an issue with capitalism from which this all grows
2) the myth of modernity, that 'the youth are in a different place than we are from generations before' is sooooo cracked, they killing each other up just the same... violent crime is down is great but i want violent crime gone period i don't want kids killing kids is that so idyllic
3) there can be no safety without serious, oppressive gun regulation + that regulation needs to be administered from NON-POLICE ENTITIES or it wont work! bc police have engendered such distrust and disdain for literally hundreds of years from all communities! which is just! a conundrum!
4) communities... not the annoying etsy sticker "build community"-community but real Communities need to be built, maintained, and enabled to enact restoration on their own terms... and to have that really requires a deconstruction of 8-hour-workday, 12-hour-shift, hour-long-commute Capitalism so that people have the literal TIME and ENERGY to be with each other, plan and put on events, and build connection...
4.a.) this doesn't mean "we need social workers, not cops!" is right either bc a key component of this is state surveillance... if i have the ability to do some kind of violence as a social worker, whether that is forced removal of a child from the home, institutionalization, etc., then i am in essence a cop. when coupled with the frame of mind from 1.a., its clear that there needs to be a wider overhaul of SYSTEMS rather than trying to swap one Worker for another. speaking as a social worker myself ofc.
anyway great, sad read
October 11, 2024
i’m depressed as hell. everything about this country is a mess and designed to make us destroy one another.
May 24, 2024
Overall, a heartfelt, accessibly written abolitionist analysis of the lived complexities of trauma, grief and violence through the lens of the murder of a teenager in San Francisco. The last section of the book that discusses the aftermath of Sito’s murder, its wide and destabilizing impacts on friends, family and community, and the ambivalent experiences of both rage and empathy experienced by family members (and Ralph himself), was particularly moving.
In terms of weaknesses, it felt a bit meandering and narratively disconnected at times, the integration of spirit worlds was distracting (though I understand personally meaningful for the family), and the main argument was murky. At the end of the book, I was not sure what the central takeaways were — the social and psychological dynamics of community and intergenerational violence and trauma, the destigmatization and contextualization of gang-involved youth, an emic window into family grief, a critical interrogation of affects of revenge and how they replicate forms of violence they are aimed at ameliorating, a tragic coming of age story, a moral and political condemnation of a punitive criminal legal, educational, and youth incarceration system that systematically treats communities of color as disposable and criminal. Perhaps these are the takeaways, but if so, they didn’t seem to hang together well and were not always analytically grounded. I understand that the book was designed for a popular audience, but I found myself wanting more theoretical scaffolding and analysis embedded in the main text (e.g. the political economy of urban violence, trauma and gang sociality). I had similar mixed feelings about Renegade Dreams, one of Ralph’s previous books.
My sense is that Ralph wrote this book less for consumption by a popular or scholarly audience, and more to examine and process his family and his own experiences of trauma, grief, and healing amidst severe and world-shattering community violence. For that I deeply respect this book.
In terms of weaknesses, it felt a bit meandering and narratively disconnected at times, the integration of spirit worlds was distracting (though I understand personally meaningful for the family), and the main argument was murky. At the end of the book, I was not sure what the central takeaways were — the social and psychological dynamics of community and intergenerational violence and trauma, the destigmatization and contextualization of gang-involved youth, an emic window into family grief, a critical interrogation of affects of revenge and how they replicate forms of violence they are aimed at ameliorating, a tragic coming of age story, a moral and political condemnation of a punitive criminal legal, educational, and youth incarceration system that systematically treats communities of color as disposable and criminal. Perhaps these are the takeaways, but if so, they didn’t seem to hang together well and were not always analytically grounded. I understand that the book was designed for a popular audience, but I found myself wanting more theoretical scaffolding and analysis embedded in the main text (e.g. the political economy of urban violence, trauma and gang sociality). I had similar mixed feelings about Renegade Dreams, one of Ralph’s previous books.
My sense is that Ralph wrote this book less for consumption by a popular or scholarly audience, and more to examine and process his family and his own experiences of trauma, grief, and healing amidst severe and world-shattering community violence. For that I deeply respect this book.
March 29, 2024
an impactful story on yet another failed individual in the justice system. hard but meaningful to read
September 16, 2024
This is a powerful and personal book that takes on the American juvenile justice system through the tragic story of San Francisco teenager Luis Alberto Quiňonez aka Sito written by Princeton anthropology professor Laurence Ralph, who married into Sito's family. Ralph has studied urban gangs and understands the damage done by racial ininquities. . He understands both as a scholar and, as part of Sito's family, the impact of juvenile incarceration on young people. Sito, who grew up in a community where deadly gang rivalries in a macho culture were the norm, is locked up awaiting trial for a murder of another teenager he did not commit. The academically established correlation between juvenile detection and mental illness manifests itself in Sito's PTSD and an anger that he never fully escapes. Sito became part of the movement advocating for the radical reformation of the juvenile justice system, but his plans to organize and work with his community's underprivileged youth ended in his murder.Sito's murder places Ralph in a conflict between his ideals of non-violence and restorative justice and the family's desire to seek serious punishment for Sito's teenager killer. Ralph is a gifted writer who takes the reader into the Mission community and the lives of Sito's and his family. Ralph's use of the family's Santeria faith and Yorùbá mythology gives his story a hopeful spiritual dimension. Ralph makes Sito and young men like him matter, and his book, which is a good read, will give readers an opportunity to consider Sito's story.
March 27, 2024
One of thousands of heart breaking stories of teen gang banger death.
The copy talked AT you. Like a lecture.
There was hardly enough Sito biographical or personal information to be the core of the title.
Most of the book was about himself and the Black teenagers in various other cities. Not only San Francisco. Not only now either; then or always. And the title is not "answered" at all within specifics but with more theory, IMHO.
He uses this terrible outcome for page after page of his own former publications as advertisement and also in repeated copy stats. And one of them is filled with what is called in tech social media sites "misinformation". Because I was there in Chicago during the "glory days" of his associates.
This interpretation of the Weathermen and Black Rangers/ Black Panthers Nation etc. etc. is highly inaccurate. Murderers and terrorists all. Some were jailed for life. Some lead rolls now as if they hadn't killed 3 or up to a dozen innocent people each. When that is only the tip of the iceberg for their depth of horrific deeds, at that.
People who read this type of highly educated theory posited as if most of it IS biography or is true? Well, I wish I would have had a cell phone camera about 10 times in my life before I was 30. Because almost the entire Chicago portion was like Pontius Pilate relating the events of Jesus of Nazareth's Palm Sunday parade.
At points he says teenagers of this placement and time period is like being a leopard. They have "leopards" inside them and they cannot help many emotional actions of various terrible results.
When emotional actions lead to vast destruction, murders, life long disabilities from assaults, destruction of property to where it can never recover- or just plain evil outcomes when victims can no longer hold any trust- than I believe it IS the fault of the person who committed the act. Never explained as "normal" either.
Here, once again, the option of little to no consequence is posited as the answer for these acts? With all police as the tyrants? Oh, of course.
What is hardest to swallow is the educational levels of these parental or step-father etc. relations as they ARE described. Where were they when the kid was growing up? Oh, probably seeking fulfillment or in schools of renown. The mother AND the father - he was NO priority.
The writing itself- the form is just terrible. Vastly without continuity or order. Going on tangents of lecture or aside consistently.
The copy talked AT you. Like a lecture.
There was hardly enough Sito biographical or personal information to be the core of the title.
Most of the book was about himself and the Black teenagers in various other cities. Not only San Francisco. Not only now either; then or always. And the title is not "answered" at all within specifics but with more theory, IMHO.
He uses this terrible outcome for page after page of his own former publications as advertisement and also in repeated copy stats. And one of them is filled with what is called in tech social media sites "misinformation". Because I was there in Chicago during the "glory days" of his associates.
This interpretation of the Weathermen and Black Rangers/ Black Panthers Nation etc. etc. is highly inaccurate. Murderers and terrorists all. Some were jailed for life. Some lead rolls now as if they hadn't killed 3 or up to a dozen innocent people each. When that is only the tip of the iceberg for their depth of horrific deeds, at that.
People who read this type of highly educated theory posited as if most of it IS biography or is true? Well, I wish I would have had a cell phone camera about 10 times in my life before I was 30. Because almost the entire Chicago portion was like Pontius Pilate relating the events of Jesus of Nazareth's Palm Sunday parade.
At points he says teenagers of this placement and time period is like being a leopard. They have "leopards" inside them and they cannot help many emotional actions of various terrible results.
When emotional actions lead to vast destruction, murders, life long disabilities from assaults, destruction of property to where it can never recover- or just plain evil outcomes when victims can no longer hold any trust- than I believe it IS the fault of the person who committed the act. Never explained as "normal" either.
Here, once again, the option of little to no consequence is posited as the answer for these acts? With all police as the tyrants? Oh, of course.
What is hardest to swallow is the educational levels of these parental or step-father etc. relations as they ARE described. Where were they when the kid was growing up? Oh, probably seeking fulfillment or in schools of renown. The mother AND the father - he was NO priority.
The writing itself- the form is just terrible. Vastly without continuity or order. Going on tangents of lecture or aside consistently.
March 15, 2024
“Those teenagers of color who get out of juvenile hall always leave something of themselves behind. And it isn’t always the “bad” part of themselves. Sometimes it’s their trust in other people, their spiritual faith, their confidence, their vulnerability, or their childhood.”
Sito: An American Teenager and the City That Failed Him by Laurence Ralph is everything that’s powerful about nonfiction; it’s inciting, informative, and emotionally impactful.
Sito, as he was known to friends and family, grew up in San Francisco and a community where gang-affiliation was everything. When he is in the wrong place at the wrong time, Sito is accused of a murder he did not commit. In September 2019, Sito himself is murdered. The assailant was hellbent on revenge for the murder of his brother, which Sito did not commit (but was accused of). The author Laurence Ralph, who is the step-father of Sito’s half-brother, tells the story through his lens of being new to the family, and informed by his extensive experience researching the connections between race, class, and violence. Through his exploration, Ralph shows that Sito’s singular experience is just one story of a cycle of violence that takes its toll on all involved, and is difficult to be broken.
What I appreciated most about this book was its ability to challenge and provoke. Ralph uses his experience and his empathy to deeply explore the way we look at and punish crime, our dependance on prisons as rehabilitation, how where we live and where we grow up disposes us to certain risks and cycles of violence, and finally, what role forgiveness or grace has in the aftermath of violence.
Sito will leave you frustrated and emotional, but more importantly, will propel you to think deeply about the systems we rely on and how they reinforce stereotypes and impact futures.
My only critique is I feel like the book could've been tightened up a bit. There are some tangents, particularly as it relates to myths and legends, that don't quite add as much impact as they could. And I was sometimes unsure of how to interpret why they were included.
Sito: An American Teenager and the City That Failed Him by Laurence Ralph is everything that’s powerful about nonfiction; it’s inciting, informative, and emotionally impactful.
Sito, as he was known to friends and family, grew up in San Francisco and a community where gang-affiliation was everything. When he is in the wrong place at the wrong time, Sito is accused of a murder he did not commit. In September 2019, Sito himself is murdered. The assailant was hellbent on revenge for the murder of his brother, which Sito did not commit (but was accused of). The author Laurence Ralph, who is the step-father of Sito’s half-brother, tells the story through his lens of being new to the family, and informed by his extensive experience researching the connections between race, class, and violence. Through his exploration, Ralph shows that Sito’s singular experience is just one story of a cycle of violence that takes its toll on all involved, and is difficult to be broken.
What I appreciated most about this book was its ability to challenge and provoke. Ralph uses his experience and his empathy to deeply explore the way we look at and punish crime, our dependance on prisons as rehabilitation, how where we live and where we grow up disposes us to certain risks and cycles of violence, and finally, what role forgiveness or grace has in the aftermath of violence.
Sito will leave you frustrated and emotional, but more importantly, will propel you to think deeply about the systems we rely on and how they reinforce stereotypes and impact futures.
My only critique is I feel like the book could've been tightened up a bit. There are some tangents, particularly as it relates to myths and legends, that don't quite add as much impact as they could. And I was sometimes unsure of how to interpret why they were included.
January 14, 2024
This is a heartfelt book told from a family members perspective of a murder victim.
I was intrigued how the City Failed him part of the title would play into the story. It didn't.
There was a lot of things that you could say failed Sito, but the city was not one of them.
I am going to tread carefully because this is still raw to the family. However, this book does not do the boy justice.
I am happy that the author included the good, Sito going to school, trying to become a social justice advocate.
The downside is that Sito was involved in gangs, he was a heavy drinker and had a violent temper.
The two sides are what makes Sito a human. No one is all good, no one is all bad. It shows he was complicated.
The problem that I had with the book is threefold:
1. The spirits, the stories had no relative bearing upon the book. It was a distraciton.
2. I needed more. We went from Sito getting out of Juvenile Hall and then having a girlfriend to being murdered. Where was the timeline? Was there only two events in Sito life?
3. Did the author reach out to Julius' family to get their side? Did the authors attitude toward juvenile justice change?
Further the family was hung up on one cop said to them in the heat of the movement, brought up several times in the book, yet was never resolved.
Overall, this book could have been a great story about urban juvenile justice, yet it fell so flat with the spiritual talk, the lack of Sito being a human outside of the 2 sides mentioned above, and how exactly did the City fail Sito.
Thank you to Netgalley and the Publisher for this ARC in exchange for this honest review.
I was intrigued how the City Failed him part of the title would play into the story. It didn't.
There was a lot of things that you could say failed Sito, but the city was not one of them.
I am going to tread carefully because this is still raw to the family. However, this book does not do the boy justice.
I am happy that the author included the good, Sito going to school, trying to become a social justice advocate.
The downside is that Sito was involved in gangs, he was a heavy drinker and had a violent temper.
The two sides are what makes Sito a human. No one is all good, no one is all bad. It shows he was complicated.
The problem that I had with the book is threefold:
1. The spirits, the stories had no relative bearing upon the book. It was a distraciton.
2. I needed more. We went from Sito getting out of Juvenile Hall and then having a girlfriend to being murdered. Where was the timeline? Was there only two events in Sito life?
3. Did the author reach out to Julius' family to get their side? Did the authors attitude toward juvenile justice change?
Further the family was hung up on one cop said to them in the heat of the movement, brought up several times in the book, yet was never resolved.
Overall, this book could have been a great story about urban juvenile justice, yet it fell so flat with the spiritual talk, the lack of Sito being a human outside of the 2 sides mentioned above, and how exactly did the City fail Sito.
Thank you to Netgalley and the Publisher for this ARC in exchange for this honest review.
August 11, 2024
Ethnographer/anthropologist Laurence Ralph tells the tragic story of Luis Alberto Quiñonez. Sito, as he was known, was the 19-year-old half-brother of Ralph's stepson. Ralph grapples with the backstory and aftermath of Sito's murder, recounting Sito's experiences with juvenile detention and the criminal justice system. In so doing, the author weaves in theories of justice and themes of masculinity, criminalization, violence, and mourning.
This is not just a riveting, nuanced account of murder, grief, and revenge. It reckons with "the spirit of revenge that's embedded in our legal system so that future generations don't repeat our mistakes." It imagines the possibility of restorative justice and the transformation of a legal system that is openly stacked against people of color and the impoverished. It imagines the possibility of healing.
I would recommend this to those looking for a gripping memoir combined with compelling sociological study.
[Thanks to Grand Central Publishing and NetGalley for an opportunity to read an advanced reader copy and share my opinion of this book.]
This is not just a riveting, nuanced account of murder, grief, and revenge. It reckons with "the spirit of revenge that's embedded in our legal system so that future generations don't repeat our mistakes." It imagines the possibility of restorative justice and the transformation of a legal system that is openly stacked against people of color and the impoverished. It imagines the possibility of healing.
I would recommend this to those looking for a gripping memoir combined with compelling sociological study.
[Thanks to Grand Central Publishing and NetGalley for an opportunity to read an advanced reader copy and share my opinion of this book.]
October 17, 2024
An excellent story, Sito traces the tragic trajectory of one teen's life through the criminal justice system.
There was so much to explore here: the failures of the criminal justice system, the role of family and environment, the way violence infects like a disease, the tension between victim and perpetrator, and more.
While Ralph outlines and discusses events with a clear eye, he still infuses the story with a sense of pathos that invites connection. I definitely recommend.
PS: I see a lot of people didn't like the santeria portions. I personally thought that they complemented the narrative in a powerful way as they are important to the sense of self for the family and in the community. I think it also makes the epilogue that much more powerful. It is another way to make sense of the world for the author and it's presented in a way that is interesting to the reader while underlining the points Ralph explores.
There was so much to explore here: the failures of the criminal justice system, the role of family and environment, the way violence infects like a disease, the tension between victim and perpetrator, and more.
While Ralph outlines and discusses events with a clear eye, he still infuses the story with a sense of pathos that invites connection. I definitely recommend.
PS: I see a lot of people didn't like the santeria portions. I personally thought that they complemented the narrative in a powerful way as they are important to the sense of self for the family and in the community. I think it also makes the epilogue that much more powerful. It is another way to make sense of the world for the author and it's presented in a way that is interesting to the reader while underlining the points Ralph explores.
June 27, 2024
A Heartbreaking Glimpse into Juvenile Violence: Sito: An American Teenager and the City that Failed Him by Laurence Ralph
This story is insightful and heartbreaking, all wrapped into one. Laurence Ralph does an incredible job setting the story and conveying the intense emotions involved. The book offers a poignant glimpse into juvenile violence and the prison system, highlighting its profound impact on Black and Brown youth. Ralph explores necessary changes to address these issues and improve mental health support for children entering the prison system. The narrative also examines how personal connections to the system alter perceptions and experiences. This is a powerful read that sheds light on urgent societal problems.
November 22, 2024
Coming off a few social justice books involving latinidad, this one was my favorite. I didn't expect it to be as personal as it was, the author met Sito and is intimately involved in the story. While it was unexpected, I don't dislike that. To me, the author is able to go in a level deeper, which I think gives the book an extra weight that would otherwise be missing.
I think my favorite part of the book is a side element of it. Which is the fact that the author has one foot in the highest levels of academia while at the same time having his other foot in the hood. That's a difficult space to navigate and I appreciate the insight that Laurence Ralph has. Heartbreaking, insightful, thought-provoking. I'm so glad I read this book.
I think my favorite part of the book is a side element of it. Which is the fact that the author has one foot in the highest levels of academia while at the same time having his other foot in the hood. That's a difficult space to navigate and I appreciate the insight that Laurence Ralph has. Heartbreaking, insightful, thought-provoking. I'm so glad I read this book.
April 25, 2025
A beautiful tribute to not just the main subject of the story, Sito, but to every man and woman who caught themselves as the unnecessary victim of revenge.
It also really shows how the lack of accountability from our (U.S.) justice system perpetuated continuous violence.
This book really made me think about my own values and what I think justice looks like in the context of a horrific crime. It’s easy to give a black and white answer until you’re personally confronted with a similar situation. I have many thoughts that probably aren’t meant for a good reads review section.
Hopefully Sito’s memory continues to inspire for as long as this book lives.
It also really shows how the lack of accountability from our (U.S.) justice system perpetuated continuous violence.
This book really made me think about my own values and what I think justice looks like in the context of a horrific crime. It’s easy to give a black and white answer until you’re personally confronted with a similar situation. I have many thoughts that probably aren’t meant for a good reads review section.
Hopefully Sito’s memory continues to inspire for as long as this book lives.
March 30, 2024
Audiobook. Another urban tragedy. I read these stories and try to bear witness for what these families must bear. The consistent theme is systemic racism, the different tiers of justice, and the generation trauma that continues and continues and continues.
I was impressed by the family’s reaction to not continue the cycle of violence. I was, however, surprised that despite the activism of Siri and his father, their understanding of children incarcerated adults how it negatively affects all involved, they wanted the murderer tried as an adult.
I was impressed by the family’s reaction to not continue the cycle of violence. I was, however, surprised that despite the activism of Siri and his father, their understanding of children incarcerated adults how it negatively affects all involved, they wanted the murderer tried as an adult.
August 10, 2024
Thoughtful true story about juvenile injustice and the conflict between revenge and juvenile justice reform. The families and friends of the two youth whose lives are intertwined struggle with wanting revenge even when it goes against their support of reform and restorative justice. The most haunting part is that the murderer of Sito never acknowledges his guilt and the family also believes in his innocence.
September 12, 2025
Accesible and moving read. To me it was the right combination of biography, systemic critique, and culture. I feel like he rly dug into the tensions he felt wanting justice for his family, and knowing how fucked our “justice” system is - and he didn’t ever solve it perfectly for himself, which feels honest and real true. Made me cry a few times.
April 20, 2024
Wow. A sad story too often told. So confused by the author and his education and expertise and how he can excuse all of Sito’s actions and yet damn all of Julius’s and Rashawn’s and Miguel’s. Time for Laurence Ralph to look in the mirror I’d say.
July 20, 2024
The title is misleading. I finished the book wanting to know more about Sito. The author wrote about himself too much. There was a lot of extraneous information that added no value to the text. I am disappointed. I expected more from this book. Ugh.
July 26, 2025
3.5
I’m a big fan of Ralph. The conclusion here was good, but the overall narrative could have built towards it more coherently. Also I didn’t like that he reused old research instead of taking seriously the particulars of SF, its racial, economic, and political context.
I’m a big fan of Ralph. The conclusion here was good, but the overall narrative could have built towards it more coherently. Also I didn’t like that he reused old research instead of taking seriously the particulars of SF, its racial, economic, and political context.
March 11, 2024
I was incredibly impressed with the author's ability to show empathy for all sides and parties. It adds to how thought-provoking this book is.
March 18, 2024
Heartbreaking book... Made me feel lucky that I grew up in the middle of nowhere...
April 5, 2024
A loving tribute to a lost son and a damning indictment to a carceral 'justice' system that traps whole communities in cycles of violence.
April 21, 2024
The important subject matter deserves more than this theoretically, methodologically, and politically underdeveloped and aimless treatment.
June 7, 2024
The complexity that abolition brings
July 3, 2024
There are an annoyingly lot of unnecessary details about things like architecture (??) and useless metaphors, but if you can get past that, the story and the message are very powerful.
March 30, 2025
THUGLIFE (the hate u give little infants fucks everybody). and fuck chesa boudin.
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