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Noisome Beasts
A stolen bag of cheese puffs. A battered Aerosmith cassette tape. A mysterious half-man, half-corpse. A quest to write the baddest rap of all time. Todd Jenkins, formerly a server at Cracker Barrel, will investigate these and other mysteries in his journey to seek out his real father: "Family Matters" star Reginald VelJohnson.
Todd's journey will lead him to nasty all-you-can-eat buffets, Fundamentalist conventions, and a horrific future featuring murderous robots. Join Todd and his best friend Edgar on their terrifying adventures across the American midwest, into darkest nightmares and sensual dreams. Wonder as they freestyle with hobo rap kings. Marvel as they purchase a model Frankenstein's Monster. Wince as they try hard not to touch the door handle of the truck stop bathroom.
But wait: thespecial deluxe edition of Noisome Beasts comes with not one, not two, but THREE bonus short stories. Aerosmith's Steven Tyler crashes a sweet-sixteenth birthday party. A middle-school band covers "Louie, Louie." SEXY BIKERS RIOT. Read them all, or keep one and trade the others, guaranteeing yourself a tidy profit!
Tolerated by fans of Daniel Manus Pinkwater, David Sedaris, and "A Confederacy of Dunces", Noisome Beasts will change your life and make you a stronger, better person. Wait. Hold up your arm. Look at that bulging bicep, just from reading this description!
Todd's journey will lead him to nasty all-you-can-eat buffets, Fundamentalist conventions, and a horrific future featuring murderous robots. Join Todd and his best friend Edgar on their terrifying adventures across the American midwest, into darkest nightmares and sensual dreams. Wonder as they freestyle with hobo rap kings. Marvel as they purchase a model Frankenstein's Monster. Wince as they try hard not to touch the door handle of the truck stop bathroom.
But wait: thespecial deluxe edition of Noisome Beasts comes with not one, not two, but THREE bonus short stories. Aerosmith's Steven Tyler crashes a sweet-sixteenth birthday party. A middle-school band covers "Louie, Louie." SEXY BIKERS RIOT. Read them all, or keep one and trade the others, guaranteeing yourself a tidy profit!
Tolerated by fans of Daniel Manus Pinkwater, David Sedaris, and "A Confederacy of Dunces", Noisome Beasts will change your life and make you a stronger, better person. Wait. Hold up your arm. Look at that bulging bicep, just from reading this description!
190 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 10, 2008
6 people want to read
About the author
Robert Chatham
3 books8 followersRobert Chatham (1981-2197) is a half-dinosaur, half-cyborg hybrid invented to entertain children at birthday parties. His first novella / short story collection, "Noisome Beasts," was nominated for thirty-eight awards, including a plastic Little League Champ Trophy and the Pulitzer. His upcoming novel, "The Dead Rise," is an entirely different work in an entirely depressing genre.
Robert is an atheist and young adult writer, and hopes you won't hold either of those facts against him.
Robert is an atheist and young adult writer, and hopes you won't hold either of those facts against him.
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
May 18, 2013
Noisome Beasts (Robert Chatham)
Todd Jenkins works at the Cracker Barrel. He is obsessed with finding his "birth parents". He is convinced that his father is Reginald VelJohnson, from the sitcom Family Matters. When he finds that A Family Matters convention is coming to Wichita he packs a bag and decides to go on a road trip.
Along with his friend Edgar they set out on their adventure, with old Aerosmith tapes, cheese puffs and very little money. They encounter many quirky people along the way. Todd also is convinced he is going to be the biggest rap star ever. Filled with fun and adventure and bits of Todds' rap songs there were many laugh out loud moments.
I really enjoyed this read. At the end I found there was a bonus, three short stories. I will be reading more of Robert Chathams' books.
Todd Jenkins works at the Cracker Barrel. He is obsessed with finding his "birth parents". He is convinced that his father is Reginald VelJohnson, from the sitcom Family Matters. When he finds that A Family Matters convention is coming to Wichita he packs a bag and decides to go on a road trip.
Along with his friend Edgar they set out on their adventure, with old Aerosmith tapes, cheese puffs and very little money. They encounter many quirky people along the way. Todd also is convinced he is going to be the biggest rap star ever. Filled with fun and adventure and bits of Todds' rap songs there were many laugh out loud moments.
I really enjoyed this read. At the end I found there was a bonus, three short stories. I will be reading more of Robert Chathams' books.
March 10, 2013
"Noisome Beasts" is the story of two very odd friends, Todd and Edgar, on a road-trip to find the man Todd has convinced himself is his real father - an actor from a popular tv show. "Family Matters". Their friendship seems to be based on mutual stupidity and delusions. The adventures these two losers have along the way would be just normal, everyday life to most people, but to Todd and Edgar they are extraordinary and magical. The fact that they actually manage to leave their own town successfully, never mind reach their destination, was most surprising (although I can't imagine how Edgar actually obtained a drivers' licence!). This was a unique and strange story with a fast pace. Robert Chatham is a very promising young writer and I look forward to reading more of his work!
March 23, 2013
A ridiculously funny story about two friends who go on a road trip that will change THE WORLD. The plot seems to meander at times, but always to the humor's advantage. It's full of surprising lines that made me burst into embarrassing laughter. Very entertaining.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews