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You Belong Here: The Power of Being Seen, Heard, and Valued on Your Own Terms
In a world overcrowded with labels, don’t allow your identity to be defined by other people. Learn how to take back your power, choose to feed the aspects of your identity that serve you, and let go of those that don’t.
Everyone feels like an outsider at some point in their life—when we walk into a room and think to ourselves, “I don’t belong here.” To avoid these feelings of exclusion, many of us hide our authentic selves and allow others to define our identity.
You Belong Here offers a new framework that allows each of us to define how we want to be seen, heard, and valued on our own terms so we feel a sense of belonging in any situation. Further, it serves as a launchpad for organizational leaders and culture builders to create safe spaces for individuals to show up as their authentic selves.
In the journey to understand our past experiences and how society has established barriers to entry, we can design our own future, rooted in our Loved Identity. We learn to rewrite the stories that aren’t serving us and embrace the ones that do. Rather than look for a seat at someone else’s table, we find the tools to build our own.
When we fully leverage this and live with authenticity and purpose, we can be seen, heard, and valued in a way that gives us a sense of belonging at home, at work, and in society. Belonging is realized when we understand everyone is an outsider and it’s the power to create space for those differences that unite us all.
Everyone feels like an outsider at some point in their life—when we walk into a room and think to ourselves, “I don’t belong here.” To avoid these feelings of exclusion, many of us hide our authentic selves and allow others to define our identity.
You Belong Here offers a new framework that allows each of us to define how we want to be seen, heard, and valued on our own terms so we feel a sense of belonging in any situation. Further, it serves as a launchpad for organizational leaders and culture builders to create safe spaces for individuals to show up as their authentic selves.
Readers will explore our four identities:
Our Lived Identity is made up of the aspects of our identity we inherit when we are born into the world.
Our Learned Identity includes the parts of our identity that we’ve chosen or claimed as we make our way through the world.
Our Lingering Identity is the identity we default to when we feel like an outsider and fall back into as a survival mechanism.
Our Loved Identity is where we find our authentic selves and see ourselves through a lens of empowerment.
In the journey to understand our past experiences and how society has established barriers to entry, we can design our own future, rooted in our Loved Identity. We learn to rewrite the stories that aren’t serving us and embrace the ones that do. Rather than look for a seat at someone else’s table, we find the tools to build our own.
When we fully leverage this and live with authenticity and purpose, we can be seen, heard, and valued in a way that gives us a sense of belonging at home, at work, and in society. Belonging is realized when we understand everyone is an outsider and it’s the power to create space for those differences that unite us all.
- GenresNonfictionSelf Help
192 pages, Paperback
Published March 5, 2024
23 people are currently reading
203 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
March 20, 2024
This book challenges you to look internally, identify your value, and find your voice.
April 23, 2024
Kim gives a moving and insightful commentary on taking life's "hard knocks" and turning them into a learning and teaching experience. Kim triumphed over personal odds and learned that circumstances don't necessarily determine success. By doing self work on her "learned" and "lingering" identities, she created her "loved" identity and empowered herself to take on even newer and bigger challenges. Her concept is elegant in its simplicity, yet profound and full of insight. We have the power to change our perception of ourselves and, thus, our entire future. And she is teaching others to do it as well. It is a marvelous thing to be able to write a book that can be read and absorbed and applied to one's personal experience so readily. That is exactly what she has done. And she is sharing it with workplaces and platforms all over the world. Lucky us!
August 15, 2024
I like how she breaks down identity into the four parts: Lived, Learned, Lingering, and Loved. And I like the questions she poses to get one thinking about their identities. But she makes it sound like belonging will come naturally on the heels of that work. I think that the identity work is a start, but there needs to be more than a few trite guidelines that help people get to a sense of belonging.
October 22, 2024
Real Rating: 4.5* of five
The Publisher Says: In a world overcrowded with labels, don’t allow your identity to be defined by other people. Learn how to take back your power, choose to feed the aspects of your identity that serve you, and let go of those that don’t.
Everyone feels like an outsider at some point in their life—when we walk into a room and think to ourselves, “I don’t belong here.” To avoid these feelings of exclusion, many of us hide our authentic selves and allow others to define our identity.
You Belong Here offers a new framework that allows each of us to define how we want to be seen, heard, and valued on our own terms so we feel a sense of belonging in any situation. Further, it serves as a launchpad for organizational leaders and culture builders to create safe spaces for individuals to show up as their authentic selves.
Readers will explore our four identities:
-Our Lived Identity is made up of the aspects of our identity we inherit when we are born into the world.
-Our Learned Identity includes the parts of our identity that we’ve chosen or claimed as we make our way through the world.
-Our Lingering Identity is the identity we default to when we feel like an outsider and fall back into as a survival mechanism.
-Our Loved Identity is where we find our authentic selves and see ourselves through a lens of empowerment.
In the journey to understand our past experiences and how society has established barriers to entry, we can design our own future, rooted in our Loved Identity. We learn to rewrite the stories that aren’t serving us and embrace the ones that do. Rather than look for a seat at someone else’s table, we find the tools to build our own.
When we fully leverage this and live with authenticity and purpose, we can be seen, heard, and valued in a way that gives us a sense of belonging at home, at work, and in society. Belonging is realized when we understand everyone is an outsider and it’s the power to create space for those differences that unite us all.
I RECEIVED A DRC FROM THE PUBLISHER VIA EDELWEISS+. THANK YOU.
My Review: See? I really am pro-therapy!
This succinct self-help book is a quality read for anyone who needs to sharpen their sense of themself as a worthy and worthwhile contributor in order to become an effective leader. The trick here is to use these carefully thought-out "Identities" to lead others into a stronger commitment to their own identities being expressed in the world.
The present pass has multiple axes of crisis. Why and how they came to be is, at this moment, less urgent a topic of discussion than what the hell we need to do about it all. No one has every answer. No one individual is going to Fix the World. The usefulness of every person's contribution to society isn't a helpful focus of attention, ever really but certainly not now.
We need to use techniques like these simply delineated ones to instill the sense of strength, of personal power, of ability to effect change and affect others in the world in positive ways, in the greatest number of people. All hands are needed at the pump to keep the boat afloat. Learning how best to support a sense of urgency in one's self, and effectively communicate it into action that's both personal and group-based will be a lot easier when one has a sense of one's value to every situation. Learning the technique Author Dabbs supplies here will provide some very useful tools to achieve this goal.
Don't ignore the value of a strong sense of your own power and ability and right to use it. If you're feeling helpless and useless in the face of the world's problems, read this book to start topping up your emotional fuel tanks.
The Publisher Says: In a world overcrowded with labels, don’t allow your identity to be defined by other people. Learn how to take back your power, choose to feed the aspects of your identity that serve you, and let go of those that don’t.
Everyone feels like an outsider at some point in their life—when we walk into a room and think to ourselves, “I don’t belong here.” To avoid these feelings of exclusion, many of us hide our authentic selves and allow others to define our identity.
You Belong Here offers a new framework that allows each of us to define how we want to be seen, heard, and valued on our own terms so we feel a sense of belonging in any situation. Further, it serves as a launchpad for organizational leaders and culture builders to create safe spaces for individuals to show up as their authentic selves.
Readers will explore our four identities:
-Our Lived Identity is made up of the aspects of our identity we inherit when we are born into the world.
-Our Learned Identity includes the parts of our identity that we’ve chosen or claimed as we make our way through the world.
-Our Lingering Identity is the identity we default to when we feel like an outsider and fall back into as a survival mechanism.
-Our Loved Identity is where we find our authentic selves and see ourselves through a lens of empowerment.
In the journey to understand our past experiences and how society has established barriers to entry, we can design our own future, rooted in our Loved Identity. We learn to rewrite the stories that aren’t serving us and embrace the ones that do. Rather than look for a seat at someone else’s table, we find the tools to build our own.
When we fully leverage this and live with authenticity and purpose, we can be seen, heard, and valued in a way that gives us a sense of belonging at home, at work, and in society. Belonging is realized when we understand everyone is an outsider and it’s the power to create space for those differences that unite us all.
I RECEIVED A DRC FROM THE PUBLISHER VIA EDELWEISS+. THANK YOU.
My Review: See? I really am pro-therapy!
This succinct self-help book is a quality read for anyone who needs to sharpen their sense of themself as a worthy and worthwhile contributor in order to become an effective leader. The trick here is to use these carefully thought-out "Identities" to lead others into a stronger commitment to their own identities being expressed in the world.
The present pass has multiple axes of crisis. Why and how they came to be is, at this moment, less urgent a topic of discussion than what the hell we need to do about it all. No one has every answer. No one individual is going to Fix the World. The usefulness of every person's contribution to society isn't a helpful focus of attention, ever really but certainly not now.
We need to use techniques like these simply delineated ones to instill the sense of strength, of personal power, of ability to effect change and affect others in the world in positive ways, in the greatest number of people. All hands are needed at the pump to keep the boat afloat. Learning how best to support a sense of urgency in one's self, and effectively communicate it into action that's both personal and group-based will be a lot easier when one has a sense of one's value to every situation. Learning the technique Author Dabbs supplies here will provide some very useful tools to achieve this goal.
Don't ignore the value of a strong sense of your own power and ability and right to use it. If you're feeling helpless and useless in the face of the world's problems, read this book to start topping up your emotional fuel tanks.
April 22, 2024
As Principal Sustainability at PADNOS, I've had the privilege of spearheading initiatives that not only advocate for environmental stewardship but also foster a supportive and inclusive workplace. You Belong Here is a must-read for anyone looking to merge these values into their organizational culture, ensuring that sustainability efforts and employee engagement advance hand in hand.
In our journey to deepen our understanding of belonging and inclusivity, we invited Kim Dabbs to speak to our affinity group. Kim's insights, as shared in her transformative book You Belong Here, were instrumental in guiding our team. Her framework for building cultures of belonging resonated deeply with us, especially given our diverse workforce spanning several generations and various specialties.
Kim's session provided clarity on how we could develop a culture of belonging that aligns with our values of innovation and respect for every individual. By integrating her strategies, we've seen a tangible improvement in how our teams collaborate and innovate. This has not only enhanced our operational efficiency but also reinforced our core values, ensuring that every member of the PADNOS family feels they truly belong.
You Belong Here is more than just a book; it's a crucial tool for any organization committed to meaningful cultural change. Kim's visit has left a lasting impact on us, empowering our leaders and teams to champion an environment where everyone can thrive. Her work is a testament to the power of embracing diversity and fostering an inclusive culture at all levels of an organization.
In our journey to deepen our understanding of belonging and inclusivity, we invited Kim Dabbs to speak to our affinity group. Kim's insights, as shared in her transformative book You Belong Here, were instrumental in guiding our team. Her framework for building cultures of belonging resonated deeply with us, especially given our diverse workforce spanning several generations and various specialties.
Kim's session provided clarity on how we could develop a culture of belonging that aligns with our values of innovation and respect for every individual. By integrating her strategies, we've seen a tangible improvement in how our teams collaborate and innovate. This has not only enhanced our operational efficiency but also reinforced our core values, ensuring that every member of the PADNOS family feels they truly belong.
You Belong Here is more than just a book; it's a crucial tool for any organization committed to meaningful cultural change. Kim's visit has left a lasting impact on us, empowering our leaders and teams to champion an environment where everyone can thrive. Her work is a testament to the power of embracing diversity and fostering an inclusive culture at all levels of an organization.
December 13, 2025
I think reading this book can be extremely valuable to all the people who have found themselves in similar situations to Kim Dabbs, where others did not see, hear and value them on their own terms. The book itself is written in a very accessible style that is easy to understand even for children who might need this type of advice the most.
In my opinion, it is remarkable how Kim Dabbs managed to concentrate the complex and deeply personal concept of belonging into an easy to understand interplay between four alternating identities. This shows how knowledgeable she is about this topic and how many different perspectives she has heard on the topic.
At some points, concepts and phrases repeat themselves, which people might notice, but I think this was mostly intentionally done to help the reader understand her points and to be able to follow better.
All in all, I think if the title represents something you would like to hear more often in your daily life, you should give this book a go :)
In my opinion, it is remarkable how Kim Dabbs managed to concentrate the complex and deeply personal concept of belonging into an easy to understand interplay between four alternating identities. This shows how knowledgeable she is about this topic and how many different perspectives she has heard on the topic.
At some points, concepts and phrases repeat themselves, which people might notice, but I think this was mostly intentionally done to help the reader understand her points and to be able to follow better.
All in all, I think if the title represents something you would like to hear more often in your daily life, you should give this book a go :)
May 4, 2025
📕 Why (Not) to read this book (Target Audience)
This book is focused on a world filled with labels and societal expectations, individuals must reclaim their power to define themselves on their own terms. The examples are more oriented to ethnicity, I was expecting a more variety.
👀 How this book changed my daily live (Takeaways)
Identities:
• Lived Identity – The aspects of identity inherited at birth.
• Learned Identity – The parts of identity shaped by experiences and choices.
• Lingering Identity – The identity individuals revert to when feeling like outsiders.
• Loved Identity – The authentic self, seen through a lens of empowerment.
⁉ Spoiler Alerts (Highlights)
Be-Long-Ing: we actively (ing) desire (long) to exist (be)
Everyone is an outsider, everyone deserves a seat at the table.
This book is focused on a world filled with labels and societal expectations, individuals must reclaim their power to define themselves on their own terms. The examples are more oriented to ethnicity, I was expecting a more variety.
👀 How this book changed my daily live (Takeaways)
Identities:
• Lived Identity – The aspects of identity inherited at birth.
• Learned Identity – The parts of identity shaped by experiences and choices.
• Lingering Identity – The identity individuals revert to when feeling like outsiders.
• Loved Identity – The authentic self, seen through a lens of empowerment.
⁉ Spoiler Alerts (Highlights)
Be-Long-Ing: we actively (ing) desire (long) to exist (be)
Everyone is an outsider, everyone deserves a seat at the table.
April 22, 2024
Such an important topic for the world. The book delves into our different identities - the ones we lived, learned, lingering and loved - and dissects what each of these mean, prompting reflection and retrospection. A wonderful book to prompt reflection, discussion and action towards creating more belonging in the world - for individuals, teams or companies.
April 22, 2024
Easy to read, actionable, and fresh. What makes this book stand out are the stories, anecdotes, and experiences that Kim shares -- from her childhood, from her time leading non-profits, from her time leading large teams in a global corporation, from her experiences with leaders from around the world. There is something for everyone to takeaway from this book!
April 23, 2024
For anyone seeking to foster real community: read this book. The central premise is simple, yet profound: we cannot create spaces of belonging without first knowing all versions of ourselves: lived, learned, lingering, and loved. It left me inspired to do this reflection, and for the kind of culture shifts it can usher in.
January 4, 2025
Not my cup of tea. I did not gain anything from the book. Didn't learn anything new, didn't feel challenged, and I was bored through all of it unfortunately. And I found it ridiculously obnoxious that the tagline showed up on every other page. If you're looking for a self-help or professional development book, keep looking. There are much better ones out there.
November 25, 2024
This book gave an interesting perspective on what it’s like being the “other” and how to come to terms with all of your identities in both personal and professional settings.
May 26, 2025
Be prepared to do some work on yourself and your perspective of the world when you read this one! Challenged me in such a good way!
June 6, 2025
A self-growth book that could and should have been an article.
February 5, 2026
Really good book a lot of good tools to navigate the world. Could have used this a lot when i first moved to Paris
April 22, 2024
You Belong Here flipped the script for me on my own understanding of belonging. In order to create, cultivate, and foster places and spaces for belonging for others, we must first start within by reflecting deeply on elements of our own identities.
June 2, 2025
Thank you, Kim! For sharing these powerful thoughts to others. Belonging can be the beginning to so many beautiful and strong things, for sure.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews