Disconnected: Parenting Teens in a MySpace World

by Chap Clark, Dee Clark

Parents worry they don't have the understanding or training to be able to care for their kids in a world that is increasingly superficial, politicized, and performance driven. Disconnected makes the concepts and strategies described in the bestselling Inside the World of Today's Teenagers accessible to parents. After the overwhelming response to Hurt, authors Chap and Dee Clark here equip parents with an up-to-date, realistic parenting book that doesn't ignore the harsh realities of adolescent life. It builds a foundation for parents by describing exactly how things have changed, takes them through the various developmental stages their children go through, and gives them workable paradigms for parenting.

Genres: Parenting, Christian Living

198 pages, Paperback

First published July 1, 2007

About the author

Chap Clark (PhD, University of Denver) is professor and chair of the youth, family, and culture department at Fuller Theological Seminary, where he also directs the Student Leadership Project and is coordinator of Fuller Studio. He is on the teaching team at Harbor Christian Center church in Gig Harbor, Washington, is president of ParenTeen, and works closely with Young Life. Clark has authored or coauthored numerous books including Hurt 2.0 and Sticky Faith. Follow him on Twitter @chapclark.

Reviews

[Jodi Uplinger · Rating 3 out of 5]

Had some pretty good info but wasn't a very catching book to read.

[Megan Larson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have already been laughed at for reading this book, since my two daughters are currently three and 20 months, but sometimes you just want to read something because it's interesting and relevant in the world around you. I found myself having conversations with parents of emerging adolescents and thinking about my own adolescence, and wondering how on earth I would handle it when my kids got there. My mom had recently been to a convention where Chap Clark was a speaker, and she highly recommended I read what he had to say.
I really enjoyed the message of this book, which began by arguing that adolescence, far from being only a biological change consisting of chemical shifts (hormones), is actually a cultural phenomenon that is not only relatively recent in its existence, but also incredibly fluid in its manifestations and length throughout the last several generations. The reasons are, the Clarks argue, that as a culture we have systematically abandoned our children, forsaking the former role of communities to assimilate young teenagers into the adult world. This abandonment is not defined by how much time parents spend with teens (although that is a factor), but can also include prioritizing the conformity of their behavior over the nurture of their souls.
The second half of the book walks through the (current) three stages of adolescence and outlines what types of changes take place, the way they may be manifested, and how parents must themselves respond to develop their children both spiritually and relationally. While psychological and anthropological research are major components of their arguments, the Clarks are also very careful to be biblical, and place a high priority on spiritual formation in adolescents. They also reject the idea that parents can be the "all in all" in nurturing their children, and prefer that we return to an earlier model (e.g. Bible times) of community-based parenting, selecting a group of "soul mates" to share in one another's lives.
The language of the book was not at all polished--I stopped counting the split infinitives and exclamation points early on. I didn't even particularly care for the title, the sub-title, or the picture on the front. It is true that parents cannot assume that their children are experiencing the same childhood they did. However, people who pick up this book are most likely already depressed about the state of their relationships with adolescents, and the front cover misses the opportunity to say that there is hope. Also, MySpace is going to be yesterday's news pretty soon. I'm a Facebook girl myself (and I absolutely REFUSE to Twitter!). :)
Those nitty-gritties notwithstanding, I am thankful I read this, and would recommend it to parents of adolescents, or even those who interact with adolescents a great deal in ministry. There is a lot of understanding and patience required to usher a young person into adulthood today, and we can all use a good, biblical helping hand.

[Steve Johnson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Disconnected is a great follow up Hurt. Chap and Dee Clark take the research from Hurt and have written a practical book on raising youth in today's culture. I'd suggest this book for both parents and youth workers. It's an important read.

[valerie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great book for those looking for guidance in parenting teens. The authors break up adolescence into three stages and talk about the uniques challenges at each stage.

[Liz]

Great read! Be prepared to be challenged. Systematic abandonment of kids hits close to home.