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Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling
Communication is essential in a healthy organization. But all too often when we interact with people—especially those who report to us—we simply tell them what we think they need to know. This shuts them down. To generate bold new ideas, to avoid disastrous mistakes, to develop agility and flexibility, we need to practice Humble Inquiry.
Ed Schein defines Humble Inquiry as “the fine art of drawing someone out, of asking questions to which you do not know the answer, of building a relationship based on curiosity and interest in the other person.” In this seminal work, Schein contrasts Humble Inquiry with other kinds of inquiry, shows the benefits Humble Inquiry provides in many different settings, and offers advice on overcoming the cultural, organizational, and psychological barriers that keep us from practicing it.
Ed Schein defines Humble Inquiry as “the fine art of drawing someone out, of asking questions to which you do not know the answer, of building a relationship based on curiosity and interest in the other person.” In this seminal work, Schein contrasts Humble Inquiry with other kinds of inquiry, shows the benefits Humble Inquiry provides in many different settings, and offers advice on overcoming the cultural, organizational, and psychological barriers that keep us from practicing it.
144 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2013
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9543 people want to read
About the author
Edgar H. Schein
112 books201 followersEdgar Henry Schein is the Society of Sloan Fellows Professor of Management Emeritus and a Professor Emeritus at the MIT Sloan School of Management.
Schein investigates organizational culture, process consultation, research process, career dynamics, and organization learning and change. In Career Anchors, third edition (Wiley, 2006), he shows how individuals can diagnose their own career needs and how managers can diagnose the future of jobs. His research on culture shows how national, organizational, and occupational cultures influence organizational performance (Organizational Culture and Leadership, fourth edition, 2010). In Process Consultation Revisited (1999) and Helping (2009), he analyzes how consultants work on problems in human systems and the dynamics of the helping process. Schein has written two cultural case studies—“Strategic Pragmatism: The Culture of Singapore’s Economic Development Board” (MIT Press, 1996) and “DEC is Dead; Long Live DEC” (Berett-Kohler, 2003). His Corporate Culture Survival Guide, second edition (Jossey-Bass, 2009) tells managers how to deal with culture issues in their organizations.
Schein holds a BPhil from the University of Chicago, a BA and an MA in social psychology from Stanford University, and a PhD in social psychology from Harvard University.
From:http://mitsloan.mit.edu/faculty/detai...
Schein investigates organizational culture, process consultation, research process, career dynamics, and organization learning and change. In Career Anchors, third edition (Wiley, 2006), he shows how individuals can diagnose their own career needs and how managers can diagnose the future of jobs. His research on culture shows how national, organizational, and occupational cultures influence organizational performance (Organizational Culture and Leadership, fourth edition, 2010). In Process Consultation Revisited (1999) and Helping (2009), he analyzes how consultants work on problems in human systems and the dynamics of the helping process. Schein has written two cultural case studies—“Strategic Pragmatism: The Culture of Singapore’s Economic Development Board” (MIT Press, 1996) and “DEC is Dead; Long Live DEC” (Berett-Kohler, 2003). His Corporate Culture Survival Guide, second edition (Jossey-Bass, 2009) tells managers how to deal with culture issues in their organizations.
Schein holds a BPhil from the University of Chicago, a BA and an MA in social psychology from Stanford University, and a PhD in social psychology from Harvard University.
From:http://mitsloan.mit.edu/faculty/detai...
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November 16, 2014
I am getting more and more convinced that big, systemic change takes root in conscious but modest shifts in behaviour and thought. The argument developed in this short book confirms this: asking the right questions, from an authentic attitude of respect and curiosity, is the basis for building trusting relationships; trust facilitates better task-related communication and, thereby, ensures collaboration to get the job done. Humble Inquiry is particularly important given that organisations and communities find themselves drifting towards handling complex interdependent tasks that cannot be accomplished by solitary experts.
The idea behind Humble Inquiry is simple enough but its practice is fraught with difficulties. Our culture of task-orientedness and one-upmanship steers us away from an humble stance in organisational and community life. In multi-cultural groups or in teams where there are socially encoded status differences it requires genuine sensitivity to put Humble Inquiry into practice without upsetting people. Also we need to be mindful of the way we project ourselves to the outside world. Perceptual biases and the variety of conscious and unconscious signals that play out in interpersonal communication can easily put us on the wrong foot when it comes to building trust. Here I found Schein’s distinction between Humble Inquiry, diagnostic inquiry, confrontational inquiry and process-oriented inquiry to be very helpful. In my personal communication style I tend to gravitate quickly to a form of diagnostic inquiry. Schein assures me that this can work as Humble Inquiry as long as I’m mindful of the specific context in which I’m asking the questions and the state of the relationship with my interlocutor. Even confrontational questions can be humble if the motive is to be genuinely helpful and the relationship has enough trust built up to allow the other to be feel helped rather than confronted.
Recognising these situational cues is easier said than done. A successful practice of Humble Inquiry requires us to slow down, observe carefully and take stock of the situation we find ourselves in. Here Schein briefly connects to Ellen Langer’s work on mindfulness. He also suggests to cultivate a creative habit to discipline ourselves in creating something new that is not ego expanding.
I wish there were more of these kinds of books: to the point, succinct, accessible, conceptually rich and practical. Not a book to put back on the shelves but to keep in our satchel for constant reference and validation.
The idea behind Humble Inquiry is simple enough but its practice is fraught with difficulties. Our culture of task-orientedness and one-upmanship steers us away from an humble stance in organisational and community life. In multi-cultural groups or in teams where there are socially encoded status differences it requires genuine sensitivity to put Humble Inquiry into practice without upsetting people. Also we need to be mindful of the way we project ourselves to the outside world. Perceptual biases and the variety of conscious and unconscious signals that play out in interpersonal communication can easily put us on the wrong foot when it comes to building trust. Here I found Schein’s distinction between Humble Inquiry, diagnostic inquiry, confrontational inquiry and process-oriented inquiry to be very helpful. In my personal communication style I tend to gravitate quickly to a form of diagnostic inquiry. Schein assures me that this can work as Humble Inquiry as long as I’m mindful of the specific context in which I’m asking the questions and the state of the relationship with my interlocutor. Even confrontational questions can be humble if the motive is to be genuinely helpful and the relationship has enough trust built up to allow the other to be feel helped rather than confronted.
Recognising these situational cues is easier said than done. A successful practice of Humble Inquiry requires us to slow down, observe carefully and take stock of the situation we find ourselves in. Here Schein briefly connects to Ellen Langer’s work on mindfulness. He also suggests to cultivate a creative habit to discipline ourselves in creating something new that is not ego expanding.
I wish there were more of these kinds of books: to the point, succinct, accessible, conceptually rich and practical. Not a book to put back on the shelves but to keep in our satchel for constant reference and validation.
October 2, 2014
The idea is great and insightful. However, that could be easily covered by one chapter, not the whole book. The author repeat himself quite a lot.
April 28, 2025
I have finished reading first four chapters. Really impressive and practical. As rightly pointed out in the book, we are accustomed to the culture of telling. Teamwork based on Inquiry -- specifically, Humble Inquiry, is difficult, but well worth the effort, especially if you're in a leadership position.
Update: I completed reading it. Really impressive, though I feel that some of the later chapters are repetition of what is mentioned in the first few chapters. Nevertheless, it serves an important purpose -- makes you think on the theme convincingly, and gives ideas on implementing it.
In the last chapter, the author writes about Developing the Attitude of Humble Inquiry. He says, the skills of Humble Inquiry is needed in three broad domains: 1) Personal life, to enable dealing with increasing culture diversity; 2) Organizations, to identify needs for collaboration among interdependent work units and to facilitate such collaboration; and 3) Role as leader or manager, to create the relationships and the climate to promote open communication needed for effective task performance. These, in my view summarizes the purpose of the book,
There are quite a few gems which need to be thought and learnt. Some of the few which I liked are:
".. my teaching and consulting experience has taught me that what builds a relationship, what solves problems, what moves things forward is asking the right questions."
"If I don't care about communicating or building a relationship with the other person, then telling is fine. But if part of the goal of the conversation is to improve communication and build a relationship, then telling is more risky and asking."
"...there is growing evidence that many tasks get accomplished better and more safely if team members and especially bosses learn to build relationships through the art of Humble Inquiry."
"As the quality of communication increases, the task is accomplished better. ....Humble Inquiry is not a checklist to follow or a set of prewritten questions -- it is behavior that comes out of respect, genuine curiosity, and the desire to improve the quality of the conversation by stimulating greater openness and the sharing of task relevant information."
"Humble Inquiry starts with the attitude and is then supported by our choice of questions. ... We have to learn that diagnostic and confrontational questions come very naturally and easily, just as telling comes naturally and easily. It takes some discipline and practice to access one's ignorance, to stay focused on the other person."
"Consider how much of the work done in today's technologically complex world cannot be done by the leader;hence the leader must learn to live with Here-and-now Humility."
"It will be easy for the subordinate to continue to be humble and ask for the help of the superior. The dilemma that will require new learning is how the superior can learn to ask for help from the subordinate."
"We may not remember someone's name, but our greeting and our demeanor tells the other person that we acknowledge them. ... Society is based on a minimum amount of this kind of taken-for-granted trust. We trust that we will be acknowledged as fellow humans and that our presented self will be affirmed."
"If we want to build a relationship with someone and open up communication channels, we have to avoid operating on incorrect data as much as we can. Checking things out by asking in a humble manner then becomes a core activity in relationship building."
"Learning Humble Inquiry is not learning how to run faster but how to slow down in order to make sure that I have observed carefully and taken full stock of situational reality."
"In our task oriented impatient culture of Do and Tell, the most important thing to learn is how to reflect."
"Humble Inquiry presumes accurate assessment of the situation, so asking ourselves what else is happening is essential. Paradoxically, it involves learning to be humble with respect to ourselves -- to honor our human capacity to take in and deal with complexity, to have a broad range of experiences, and to be agile in responding to those experiences."
"Doing something artistic expands mind and body. It is not about whether it is any good or not; it is about trying something really new that is ego expanding."
"There is growing acknowledgement that organizations perform better when the employees in various departments recognize their degree of interdependence and actively coordinate and collaborate with each other."
"Slowing down, reflecting, becoming more mindful, accessing the artist within you, and engaging in more process reviews -- all will lead to a clearer recognition of what the needs for coordination and collaboration are in your work situation."
And, finally the concluding comment from the book. "All of us find ourselves from time to time in situations that require innovation and some risk taking. Some of us are formal leaders; most of us just have leadership thrust upon us from time to time by the situations we find ourselves in. The ultimate challenge is for you to discover that at those moments you should not succumb to telling, but to take charge with Humble Inquiry."
As I conclude reading the book and reflect on its contents, I remember one of my earlier bosses, who was a master in the art of Humble Inquiry. He spent hours together to learn about a situation, inquiring with everyone possible to get a clear picture, especially things that involved complexity, before actually acting on a situation. Naturally, he was successful in leading the team with ease, though he did face a number of situations which he never knew anything about.
Update: I completed reading it. Really impressive, though I feel that some of the later chapters are repetition of what is mentioned in the first few chapters. Nevertheless, it serves an important purpose -- makes you think on the theme convincingly, and gives ideas on implementing it.
In the last chapter, the author writes about Developing the Attitude of Humble Inquiry. He says, the skills of Humble Inquiry is needed in three broad domains: 1) Personal life, to enable dealing with increasing culture diversity; 2) Organizations, to identify needs for collaboration among interdependent work units and to facilitate such collaboration; and 3) Role as leader or manager, to create the relationships and the climate to promote open communication needed for effective task performance. These, in my view summarizes the purpose of the book,
There are quite a few gems which need to be thought and learnt. Some of the few which I liked are:
".. my teaching and consulting experience has taught me that what builds a relationship, what solves problems, what moves things forward is asking the right questions."
"If I don't care about communicating or building a relationship with the other person, then telling is fine. But if part of the goal of the conversation is to improve communication and build a relationship, then telling is more risky and asking."
"...there is growing evidence that many tasks get accomplished better and more safely if team members and especially bosses learn to build relationships through the art of Humble Inquiry."
"As the quality of communication increases, the task is accomplished better. ....Humble Inquiry is not a checklist to follow or a set of prewritten questions -- it is behavior that comes out of respect, genuine curiosity, and the desire to improve the quality of the conversation by stimulating greater openness and the sharing of task relevant information."
"Humble Inquiry starts with the attitude and is then supported by our choice of questions. ... We have to learn that diagnostic and confrontational questions come very naturally and easily, just as telling comes naturally and easily. It takes some discipline and practice to access one's ignorance, to stay focused on the other person."
"Consider how much of the work done in today's technologically complex world cannot be done by the leader;hence the leader must learn to live with Here-and-now Humility."
"It will be easy for the subordinate to continue to be humble and ask for the help of the superior. The dilemma that will require new learning is how the superior can learn to ask for help from the subordinate."
"We may not remember someone's name, but our greeting and our demeanor tells the other person that we acknowledge them. ... Society is based on a minimum amount of this kind of taken-for-granted trust. We trust that we will be acknowledged as fellow humans and that our presented self will be affirmed."
"If we want to build a relationship with someone and open up communication channels, we have to avoid operating on incorrect data as much as we can. Checking things out by asking in a humble manner then becomes a core activity in relationship building."
"Learning Humble Inquiry is not learning how to run faster but how to slow down in order to make sure that I have observed carefully and taken full stock of situational reality."
"In our task oriented impatient culture of Do and Tell, the most important thing to learn is how to reflect."
"Humble Inquiry presumes accurate assessment of the situation, so asking ourselves what else is happening is essential. Paradoxically, it involves learning to be humble with respect to ourselves -- to honor our human capacity to take in and deal with complexity, to have a broad range of experiences, and to be agile in responding to those experiences."
"Doing something artistic expands mind and body. It is not about whether it is any good or not; it is about trying something really new that is ego expanding."
"There is growing acknowledgement that organizations perform better when the employees in various departments recognize their degree of interdependence and actively coordinate and collaborate with each other."
"Slowing down, reflecting, becoming more mindful, accessing the artist within you, and engaging in more process reviews -- all will lead to a clearer recognition of what the needs for coordination and collaboration are in your work situation."
And, finally the concluding comment from the book. "All of us find ourselves from time to time in situations that require innovation and some risk taking. Some of us are formal leaders; most of us just have leadership thrust upon us from time to time by the situations we find ourselves in. The ultimate challenge is for you to discover that at those moments you should not succumb to telling, but to take charge with Humble Inquiry."
As I conclude reading the book and reflect on its contents, I remember one of my earlier bosses, who was a master in the art of Humble Inquiry. He spent hours together to learn about a situation, inquiring with everyone possible to get a clear picture, especially things that involved complexity, before actually acting on a situation. Naturally, he was successful in leading the team with ease, though he did face a number of situations which he never knew anything about.
January 18, 2025
I read the first edition a few years ago and always remembered the concepts in Humble Inquiry. I really liked it, and it’s something that I practice a lot.
Today a couple hours before having an important chat with some folks, I decided to read this and get fully recentred in my humble inquiry bag. The humble inquiry bag really looks like challenging your tacit assumptions, focusing on pragmatism, being mindful of situational propriety.. balance, equity.
I like that this new edition that includes changes that society has experienced since the pandemic, and the expanded role that AI and advanced digital technology has taken in our lives, that’s a much necessary add to any book, business or otherwise, surrounding communication in this day and age.
The info here is easy to digest, not really a lot of new information that you haven’t heard before, but I highly recommend it for anyone looking for a pep talk and some direction before navigating conversations with whomever.
Today a couple hours before having an important chat with some folks, I decided to read this and get fully recentred in my humble inquiry bag. The humble inquiry bag really looks like challenging your tacit assumptions, focusing on pragmatism, being mindful of situational propriety.. balance, equity.
I like that this new edition that includes changes that society has experienced since the pandemic, and the expanded role that AI and advanced digital technology has taken in our lives, that’s a much necessary add to any book, business or otherwise, surrounding communication in this day and age.
The info here is easy to digest, not really a lot of new information that you haven’t heard before, but I highly recommend it for anyone looking for a pep talk and some direction before navigating conversations with whomever.
January 10, 2022
Mish-mash of advice that can be found in many other books I’ve read so I found it boring. What the author says isn’t wrong (“be humble”) but I worry that he omits things that are based on more solid evidence than his anecdotal experiences. For instance, he talks a lot about OR teams. I think that the checklist approach, which he sort of pooh-poohs, makes a lot more sense than relying on all the staff in the hospital to get to know each other personally.
Other books to consider:
The Checklist Manifesto: How to Get Things Right
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change
Tao Te Ching: A New English Version
Managing Your Mind: The Mental Fitness Guide
Other books to consider:
The Checklist Manifesto: How to Get Things Right
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change
Tao Te Ching: A New English Version
Managing Your Mind: The Mental Fitness Guide
July 6, 2018
I rather liked this little book. I've been a fan of Schein's thinking for a long time, since I was first introduced to his ideas on Process Consulting when I was a junior management consultant, (I know, we all have things in our pasts that are embarrassing!).
This is a very easy read with deceptively simple advice, but summarises decades of experience on what really brings people and teams together, and what avoids the significant problems that result from a failure of people to effectively communicate.
It is aimed at the American market, and most of the examples are about the way Americans tend to interact. It is particularly good in explaining how individualism and the competitive spirit can get in the way of effective communications. But before others get too self-assured that the problems explained here are unique to the USA, its worth a little humility and willingness to be open to the ideas. They are simple, but profound and I suspect universally applicable.
This is a very easy read with deceptively simple advice, but summarises decades of experience on what really brings people and teams together, and what avoids the significant problems that result from a failure of people to effectively communicate.
It is aimed at the American market, and most of the examples are about the way Americans tend to interact. It is particularly good in explaining how individualism and the competitive spirit can get in the way of effective communications. But before others get too self-assured that the problems explained here are unique to the USA, its worth a little humility and willingness to be open to the ideas. They are simple, but profound and I suspect universally applicable.
January 21, 2014
Relationships grow when people learn about and appreciate each other. I believe that many of us can benefit from being very intentional about reaching out and getting to know each other in our work places, communities and even families.
Edgar H. Schein in his new book: Humble Inquiry: the Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling (2013) writes, “Why is it so important to learn to ask better questions that help to build positive relationships? Because in an increasingly complex, interdependent, and culturally diverse world, we cannot hope to understand and work with people from different occupational, professional, and national cultures if we do not know how to ask questions and build relationships that are based on mutual respect and the recognition that others know things that we may need to know in order to get a job done.”
Schein states that not all questions are equivalent. He has come to believe that we need to learn a particular form of questioning that he first called “Humble Inquiry” in Edgar H. Schein’s earlier book, Helping (2009) and Humble Inquiry he defines as follows:
“Humble Inquiry is the fine art of drawing someone out, of asking questions to which you do not already know the answer, of building a relationship based on curiosity and interest in the other person.”
Listening to understand and appreciate. That makes sense to me. I don’t think it is an easy thing to get good at and I also think it is worth getting good at! I believe that we and generations to come will benefit from co-creation of ideas, plans, solutions, and futures.
Schein’s book, Humble Inquiry may help people to gain awareness and dispositions related to gentle and thoughtful probing as we getting to know those around us.
Edgar H. Schein in his new book: Humble Inquiry: the Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling (2013) writes, “Why is it so important to learn to ask better questions that help to build positive relationships? Because in an increasingly complex, interdependent, and culturally diverse world, we cannot hope to understand and work with people from different occupational, professional, and national cultures if we do not know how to ask questions and build relationships that are based on mutual respect and the recognition that others know things that we may need to know in order to get a job done.”
Schein states that not all questions are equivalent. He has come to believe that we need to learn a particular form of questioning that he first called “Humble Inquiry” in Edgar H. Schein’s earlier book, Helping (2009) and Humble Inquiry he defines as follows:
“Humble Inquiry is the fine art of drawing someone out, of asking questions to which you do not already know the answer, of building a relationship based on curiosity and interest in the other person.”
Listening to understand and appreciate. That makes sense to me. I don’t think it is an easy thing to get good at and I also think it is worth getting good at! I believe that we and generations to come will benefit from co-creation of ideas, plans, solutions, and futures.
Schein’s book, Humble Inquiry may help people to gain awareness and dispositions related to gentle and thoughtful probing as we getting to know those around us.
June 15, 2014
The author sends a clear and singular message that mastering the art of a humble inquiry is the key to effective communication, but I am left with more questions than answers after having read this book. Are humble inquiries the best method in all scenarios? A variety of cases were presented (e.g., hierarchical, cultural) in which a humble inquiry could clarify or alleviate otherwise precarious dialogue, but I wondered how conversations in this manner could lead to solutions or actions without being diagnostic.
The details seemed lacking. In the end, the "culmination and distillation of [Edgar Schein's] 50 years of work" seemed over-simplified for this reader.
The details seemed lacking. In the end, the "culmination and distillation of [Edgar Schein's] 50 years of work" seemed over-simplified for this reader.
June 30, 2020
If you're a rich, white, male, out-of-touch executive stuck on an extra-long layover in a crummy airport, this is just the reading for you!
In short: don't be a jerk. Get to know your reports. They have value as human beings.
0/5 do not recommend, unless you're a sociopath???
In short: don't be a jerk. Get to know your reports. They have value as human beings.
0/5 do not recommend, unless you're a sociopath???
April 11, 2025
This small book presents a brilliant idea on how to build better relationships with others and make sounder judgments through Humble Inquiring. To me the conversational model introduced in the book was quite educational. However, IMO the book still lacks practical guidance on how to develop the sound attitudes based on the theories and models it presents.
Additionally, from my understanding, the ORJI cycle presented in the book is slightly incorrect due to its oversimplification. More recent information suggest that humans tend to make judgments first and then react, which contrasts with the sequence proposed by the ORJI model. As a result, I found the model somewhat perplexing—it raised more questions than it answered and left my understanding less coherent.
In contrast to Western culture, where "telling" is a dominating communication mode, we live in a slower-paced environment where principles of shame culture is prevalent. This is to tell that we are more inclined to listen. Nevertheless, the book served as a valuable reminder of the benefits of slowing down, cultivating mindfulness, and developing the skill of observation. Why only four stars? it is too short and sometimes repetitive, especially with the case of graduate student
Additionally, from my understanding, the ORJI cycle presented in the book is slightly incorrect due to its oversimplification. More recent information suggest that humans tend to make judgments first and then react, which contrasts with the sequence proposed by the ORJI model. As a result, I found the model somewhat perplexing—it raised more questions than it answered and left my understanding less coherent.
In contrast to Western culture, where "telling" is a dominating communication mode, we live in a slower-paced environment where principles of shame culture is prevalent. This is to tell that we are more inclined to listen. Nevertheless, the book served as a valuable reminder of the benefits of slowing down, cultivating mindfulness, and developing the skill of observation. Why only four stars? it is too short and sometimes repetitive, especially with the case of graduate student
December 7, 2014
The value of asking questions based in genuine curiosity and interest (rather than telling people what you think) in building relationships, particularly for the person with higher status in the relationship. The author was a business school professor and a consultant, and the work is addressed to leaders in various positions, the type of people he might have helped professionally. Also, I felt he was used to presenting his material to largely male audiences. Nonetheless, there are many insights for the ordinary person as well.
March 8, 2024
I couldn't finish it. This book feels like a lecture about asking questions from someone who thinks they have all the answers. I was particularly annoyed by the section titled "Questions for the Reader" where the last "question" was "Now take a few minutes just to reflect quietly on what you have learned in general so far." While I believe the practice of humble inquiry is important in both leadership and personal life, I struggled to appreciate the message due to the monotonous repetition, and my impression that the writing did not put into practice the values the book is trying to convey.
August 28, 2018
Fascinating! Lots to ponder. Decided to read it again immediately after I finished it.
April 1, 2017
Well, at least it was short.
This book had two key problems. The first is that it was not particularly coherent. Schein covered a number of different elements that were all loosely related and tried to make them all be linked by the concept of humble inquiry. This didn't quite work, and instead I came away with an "it slices, it dices, it even makes julienne fries!" vibe. The last few chapters were especially hard to get through because they almost didn't even make sense.
The second is that much of the book is spent talking about status and why it's important for superiors (ugh) to grant status to their subordinates (ugh) by acknowledging that they have expertise that you don't (duh). I'm sure there are some people for whom this is a useful message. Those people are probably not going to be attracted to a book with this title.
For those of us who think that humble inquiry sounds like a good idea and are therefore likely to pick up the book, it has little to offer beyond common communication tips better covered in a myriad of other places (and probably most pithily summarized in Steven Covey's saying, "Seek first to understand, then to be understood).
That said, if you try, you can extract some good out of this book (although as noted, it's not novel).
The opening example, where someone feels the need to tell someone something without even seeing if they need to be told resonated with me. I hate when people do that, and it does immediately bias me against the teller. Thus, the general idea of humble inquiry is a good one. We should approach people and conversations with genuine curiosity and not assume you know the answers to your questions. If we all did that, then discourse would be much more civil.
Another good observation was that when organizations do not foster psychological safety, employees will not share information that could prevent bad outcomes because past experience shows that they will not be listened too and may suffer negative consequences for questioning / defying those with power.
These two factors become even more critical when teamwork is needed to get things done since effective teams are built on trust and understanding where everyone is able to contribute, whatever other status ques may be present.
Another bit of value is that while there are many ways of asking questions, not all of them are humble inquiry. In particular, questions that are asked for rhetorical effect or in a leading manner do not encourage honest, open answers from the recipient.
The book had few tips of how to ask questions which foster honest communication. Some that were there: Reflect on why you're asking a question before asking it. Make sure everyone has a chance to speak in group settings. Ask for examples when things are unclear. Ask about things you feel ignorant or uncomfortable about. Listen to the other person's answers and let that guide the conversation. Slow down; don't rush the conversation.
I did also like the definition of trust Schein uses: "Trust in the context of a conversation is believing that the other person will acknowledge me, not take advantage of me, not embarrass or humiliate me, tell me the truth, and, in the broader context, not cheat me, work on my behalf, and support the goals we agree to."
All in all though, if the book hadn't been less than 3 hours long, I would not have finished it.
This book had two key problems. The first is that it was not particularly coherent. Schein covered a number of different elements that were all loosely related and tried to make them all be linked by the concept of humble inquiry. This didn't quite work, and instead I came away with an "it slices, it dices, it even makes julienne fries!" vibe. The last few chapters were especially hard to get through because they almost didn't even make sense.
The second is that much of the book is spent talking about status and why it's important for superiors (ugh) to grant status to their subordinates (ugh) by acknowledging that they have expertise that you don't (duh). I'm sure there are some people for whom this is a useful message. Those people are probably not going to be attracted to a book with this title.
For those of us who think that humble inquiry sounds like a good idea and are therefore likely to pick up the book, it has little to offer beyond common communication tips better covered in a myriad of other places (and probably most pithily summarized in Steven Covey's saying, "Seek first to understand, then to be understood).
That said, if you try, you can extract some good out of this book (although as noted, it's not novel).
The opening example, where someone feels the need to tell someone something without even seeing if they need to be told resonated with me. I hate when people do that, and it does immediately bias me against the teller. Thus, the general idea of humble inquiry is a good one. We should approach people and conversations with genuine curiosity and not assume you know the answers to your questions. If we all did that, then discourse would be much more civil.
Another good observation was that when organizations do not foster psychological safety, employees will not share information that could prevent bad outcomes because past experience shows that they will not be listened too and may suffer negative consequences for questioning / defying those with power.
These two factors become even more critical when teamwork is needed to get things done since effective teams are built on trust and understanding where everyone is able to contribute, whatever other status ques may be present.
Another bit of value is that while there are many ways of asking questions, not all of them are humble inquiry. In particular, questions that are asked for rhetorical effect or in a leading manner do not encourage honest, open answers from the recipient.
The book had few tips of how to ask questions which foster honest communication. Some that were there: Reflect on why you're asking a question before asking it. Make sure everyone has a chance to speak in group settings. Ask for examples when things are unclear. Ask about things you feel ignorant or uncomfortable about. Listen to the other person's answers and let that guide the conversation. Slow down; don't rush the conversation.
I did also like the definition of trust Schein uses: "Trust in the context of a conversation is believing that the other person will acknowledge me, not take advantage of me, not embarrass or humiliate me, tell me the truth, and, in the broader context, not cheat me, work on my behalf, and support the goals we agree to."
All in all though, if the book hadn't been less than 3 hours long, I would not have finished it.
July 31, 2022
4.5 🌟 rounded up. I personally spend way too much time talking and trying to get my point of view across in personal and professional relationships. This book is a breath of fresh air and encourages us to be curious about situations rather than making assumptions. I think this strategy would be very helpful in the workplace. Instead of attacking each problem head on, the author asks us to be curious first. Do we fully understand the issue at hand? What are some possible solutions? Did my coworker intentionally slight me or were they focusing only at the task at hand rather than how that task would affect relationships?
I realize it’s very “American” to be task-oriented, but this book shows how important it is to create trustworthy relationships in one’s life. And personally I like the idea of being curious about situations rather than defensive or angry or assuming the worst… because at the end of the day, I really do believe we all want the same thing… good healthy relationships rather than toxic soul sucking ones.
I realize it’s very “American” to be task-oriented, but this book shows how important it is to create trustworthy relationships in one’s life. And personally I like the idea of being curious about situations rather than defensive or angry or assuming the worst… because at the end of the day, I really do believe we all want the same thing… good healthy relationships rather than toxic soul sucking ones.
July 19, 2023
Very simple concept, excellent life tool, not sure if warranted an entire book - but the advice is easy and practical nonetheless. My summary and takeaways are provided below.
- Open ended questions that are respectful, acknowledges your own ignorance, and are non-judgmental invite collaborative conversations. Close ended questions and declarative statements close conversation and potentially relationships. Acknowledging ignorance and showing vulnerability lowers defenses and opens dialogue to build social capital. If the question can be answered in one word (yes, no, ok) it’s not opened ended, and isn’t humble inquiry (what’s going on vs everything ok). It depends on tone, context, and intent.
- Determine the conversation’s purpose. Is it to influence? To simply learn? To advance an agenda? Is time efficiency a primary factor? The style and tone of your question should match your purpose. Is the relationship valuable? Is it task based, solely transactional or is a strong long term relationship value? Many US relationships are transaction, humble inquiry builds valuable personal relationships. Open vs Leading Questions.
- Diagnostic inquiry: leading questions to advance your agenda, the closed nature can stifle open dialogue.
- Confronting inquiry: aggressively extracting info to advance your own agenda by directing the content and process of the conversation. Hearing the other persons perspective won’t easily happen. Ex: finding a reason to blame someone for a problem.
- Process oriented inquiry: soliciting the process/sequence of events rather than strictly the outcome.
- 4 subtype questions under the 3 described above:
1) content clarification & gathering understanding of situation
2) understanding emotional content
3) process-action: exploring what must happen next 4) systemic orientation
- US culture is task oriented, individualistic, devalues personal relationships, zero sum mindset. Culture de emphasizes acknowledgment of our own ignorance. Humble inquiry is not natural for us.
- In negotiation, humble inquiry should be used when fostering collaboration in interpersonal, leadership roles, and in working relationships.
- Stop responding “yes, but…” and start “yes, and…” an improv tactic that opens conversations.
- Open ended questions that are respectful, acknowledges your own ignorance, and are non-judgmental invite collaborative conversations. Close ended questions and declarative statements close conversation and potentially relationships. Acknowledging ignorance and showing vulnerability lowers defenses and opens dialogue to build social capital. If the question can be answered in one word (yes, no, ok) it’s not opened ended, and isn’t humble inquiry (what’s going on vs everything ok). It depends on tone, context, and intent.
- Determine the conversation’s purpose. Is it to influence? To simply learn? To advance an agenda? Is time efficiency a primary factor? The style and tone of your question should match your purpose. Is the relationship valuable? Is it task based, solely transactional or is a strong long term relationship value? Many US relationships are transaction, humble inquiry builds valuable personal relationships. Open vs Leading Questions.
- Diagnostic inquiry: leading questions to advance your agenda, the closed nature can stifle open dialogue.
- Confronting inquiry: aggressively extracting info to advance your own agenda by directing the content and process of the conversation. Hearing the other persons perspective won’t easily happen. Ex: finding a reason to blame someone for a problem.
- Process oriented inquiry: soliciting the process/sequence of events rather than strictly the outcome.
- 4 subtype questions under the 3 described above:
1) content clarification & gathering understanding of situation
2) understanding emotional content
3) process-action: exploring what must happen next 4) systemic orientation
- US culture is task oriented, individualistic, devalues personal relationships, zero sum mindset. Culture de emphasizes acknowledgment of our own ignorance. Humble inquiry is not natural for us.
- In negotiation, humble inquiry should be used when fostering collaboration in interpersonal, leadership roles, and in working relationships.
- Stop responding “yes, but…” and start “yes, and…” an improv tactic that opens conversations.
February 22, 2025
This was not earth shattering, but it was a great reminder that the best results come when we ask with an open mind and heart, reveal our own short-comings or worries, and bring open questions that allow people to show you the best of themselves.
You can apply what you learn to your personal life, family, or work. I know for myself, not telling and actually being curious will benefit me in all three of these areas.
The authors do a wonderful job making the case and walking you through the whys and hows of the process.
I highly recommend this to anyone looking to find more teamwork or improved connection at work or an easier, more peaceful and fulfilling relationship at home.
You can apply what you learn to your personal life, family, or work. I know for myself, not telling and actually being curious will benefit me in all three of these areas.
The authors do a wonderful job making the case and walking you through the whys and hows of the process.
I highly recommend this to anyone looking to find more teamwork or improved connection at work or an easier, more peaceful and fulfilling relationship at home.
July 11, 2016
I read this for a professional development seminar. It was really interesting and made me think about a lot of my interactions as a manager and as a coworker. I think a lot of time we do not want to find the root of the problem instead we want to offer a quick fix solution, but without addressing underlying issues the problems will continue to arise. I thought this book provided a lot of great insight on how to effectively use questioning communication as a form of building trusting relationships.
February 15, 2014
How to be curious and humbly ask questions. A very humanistic approach on how to treat others, that also points to the need to show others that you are vulnerable, in order to build trust. Ends with a great chapter on how to develop an attitude of humble inquiry.
A short, concise and recommended read.
A short, concise and recommended read.
August 11, 2019
I don't like it when writers invent things and wrap them as finished product. Capitalizing the words does not make them more important (neither connecting with the hyphens) nor meaningful. There is a reason why books usually have many pages, but there isn't a single one why this one has more than three or four at max.
March 20, 2017
After having my mind blown by Crucial Conversations, I had high hopes for this book.
They were not met.
I won't spend time detailing the book's problems. Most of what you'll get out of the book is right there in the title, so congrats. You don't need to read it.
They were not met.
I won't spend time detailing the book's problems. Most of what you'll get out of the book is right there in the title, so congrats. You don't need to read it.
March 12, 2016
A thin book that partly copies and repeats Helping. The central ideas are interesting but the repetitiveness makes one question why these two couldn't have been one book.
January 30, 2017
It's impressive on how the right type of inquiry can make such a difference. Really enjoyed reading it. So much great insights on so many levels.
April 13, 2018
I’m not in the corporate world, but I still enjoyed what this book had to give. It had practical tips to have better, open conversations.
December 28, 2023
Good concept, incredibly repetitive book.
March 28, 2024
Could’ve been an email
September 29, 2024
Edgar Schein's "Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling" is an insightful exploration of the power of curiosity and genuine interest in others within the workplace. Schein, a respected authority in organizational culture and leadership, emphasizes the importance of building relationships through asking questions rather than issuing directives.
The book is rich with practical examples that illustrate how this approach can bridge cultural differences, prevent conflicts, and foster cohesion and innovation. Schein defines 'Humble Inquiry 'as “the fine art of drawing someone out, of asking questions to which you do not know the answer, of building a relationship based on curiosity and interest in the other person.” This method encourages a more inclusive and collaborative environment, which is essential in today's diverse and dynamic workplaces.
A notable example of the transformative potential of this approach is the synodal process in the Catholic Church. Traditionally hierarchical, the Church has begun to adopt more participatory and consultative methods, demonstrating how Humble Inquiry can lead to significant organizational change.
Personally, I found Schein's insights particularly valuable for enhancing my interviewing skills for TV and social media. By focusing on asking thoughtful questions and genuinely listening to responses, I can create more engaging and meaningful content.
Overall, "Humble Inquiry" is a must-read for anyone looking to improve their interpersonal dynamics and foster a more collaborative and innovative work environment.
The book is rich with practical examples that illustrate how this approach can bridge cultural differences, prevent conflicts, and foster cohesion and innovation. Schein defines 'Humble Inquiry 'as “the fine art of drawing someone out, of asking questions to which you do not know the answer, of building a relationship based on curiosity and interest in the other person.” This method encourages a more inclusive and collaborative environment, which is essential in today's diverse and dynamic workplaces.
A notable example of the transformative potential of this approach is the synodal process in the Catholic Church. Traditionally hierarchical, the Church has begun to adopt more participatory and consultative methods, demonstrating how Humble Inquiry can lead to significant organizational change.
Personally, I found Schein's insights particularly valuable for enhancing my interviewing skills for TV and social media. By focusing on asking thoughtful questions and genuinely listening to responses, I can create more engaging and meaningful content.
Overall, "Humble Inquiry" is a must-read for anyone looking to improve their interpersonal dynamics and foster a more collaborative and innovative work environment.
October 26, 2017
Edgar H. Schein encourages leaders to
“...create the climate that gives permission for the help to be given” as expressed by “drawing someone out [and] asking questions to which you do not already know the answer, of building a relationship based on curiosity and interest in the other person.”
I absolutely loved his idea that I need to “access my ignorance” in order to lead conversations and decisions. So often leaders think that they need to pretend to know everything when they can achieve much more by being humble and asking about things they don’t know.
Schein also explores how our society traditionally expects workplace relationships to be task-oriented meaning that the only interactions and communications should revolve around a shared work related goal and no more. He suggests that having a person-oriented relationship is much more productive because when you share a a certain degree of personalization you work even better as a team. This makes total sense. Why do we insist that you can’t be effective in work and also have a healthy social relationship with the same person?
With how much globalization is occurring we all need to be intentional with genuinely learning about other people. This in turn will build trust and facilitate more honest communication.
“...create the climate that gives permission for the help to be given” as expressed by “drawing someone out [and] asking questions to which you do not already know the answer, of building a relationship based on curiosity and interest in the other person.”
I absolutely loved his idea that I need to “access my ignorance” in order to lead conversations and decisions. So often leaders think that they need to pretend to know everything when they can achieve much more by being humble and asking about things they don’t know.
Schein also explores how our society traditionally expects workplace relationships to be task-oriented meaning that the only interactions and communications should revolve around a shared work related goal and no more. He suggests that having a person-oriented relationship is much more productive because when you share a a certain degree of personalization you work even better as a team. This makes total sense. Why do we insist that you can’t be effective in work and also have a healthy social relationship with the same person?
With how much globalization is occurring we all need to be intentional with genuinely learning about other people. This in turn will build trust and facilitate more honest communication.
April 4, 2025
"Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling" is simple and highly readable book that is anything but simplistic in its message and impact. As the title suggests, the premise of this book is that carefully formed and considered questions cannot only create better communications but also help conversation participants discover the root causes of issues that divide and perplex them. As such, this would seem to be a "no brainer" and yet as the book meticulously shows this simple idea can have a massive impact. More importantly, the case studies and exercises in the book will help readers move from comprehending theory to obtaining better mastery of communication skills. Additionally notable is the preface to the second edition which emphasizes the importance of the material the book contains in light of recent political and social trends.
4.5 out of 5 stars rounded to 4.
4.5 out of 5 stars rounded to 4.
April 27, 2019
Quite a good read, only approximately 100 pages so you can get through it in an afternoon. The first half of the book was rather excellent, the author touched on how to rephrase questions to be less leading, rhetorical and negative; to be more open, genuine and positive. The later half of the book went a bit too much into physco-sociology for my liking. Although I appreciated some nods to game theory and learnt about the Johari Window, I felt like that wasn't the reason I bought this book.
A perhaps too harsh comment would be around the lack of gender specific advice. Society treats genders differently when expressing the same behaviours or asking the same questions. I ask whether the author has considered these implications of gender and how that affects his advice.
A perhaps too harsh comment would be around the lack of gender specific advice. Society treats genders differently when expressing the same behaviours or asking the same questions. I ask whether the author has considered these implications of gender and how that affects his advice.
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