Don't Spend it All on Candy

by Audrey Meier DeKam

Don't Spend it All on Candy is a coming-of-age, humorous memoir about growing up on welfare in the 1980s. The story captures the struggles of a family as it was pulled apart by poverty and alcohol, yet bound by witty—and sometimes ribald—humor.

The cast of characters reads like fiction, but it is actually truth. There’s the father, the sarcastic, anti-government, alcoholic, and general ne’er-do-well. He moved his family from state to state, only to leave them again for years at a time in search of construction work. He’d return with empty pockets and bizarre interests such as ESP, pyramid power, and telekinesis. The mother, an Irish Catholic, stayed devoted to him.

Her lack of education and access to transportation in a small town led to a dependence upon welfare.Two older sisters complete the picture, acting as sources of tension and strength throughout the book. And then there’s the narrator, the youngest—the snoop, the clown, and the observer.

In the spirit of memoirs such as Blackbird and Angela’s Ashes, the narrative addresses serious issues while avoiding self-pity. Don’t Spend it All on Candy continuously comes back to the humor that sustained them while celebrating the tenacity that led all three daughters to break the cycle of poverty.

Genres: Nonfiction, Autobiography, Memoir

392 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 7, 2013

Reviews

[Jill · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's been a very long time since a book reached out, grabbed my attention and blotted out responsibilities to this extent. Have not been able to set it down, read 89% of it in a single afternoon.

[Shari Larsen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quirky memoir about the author and her three sisters growing up on welfare during the 1980's, and how they overcame adversity, and broke the cycle of poverty as young adults.

Her life story reminded me a lot of The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. The father was a sarcastic, ne'er-do-well alcoholic, who moved his family from state to state, only to leave them for months, and even years at a time in search of construction work. He would return home broke, but with bizarre interest in things such as ESP, pyramid power, and telekinesis, always with schemes to make money with the "next big thing", (such as Amway), that of course, never worked out. The mother was an Irish Catholic, deeply devoted to her husband, but forced to go on welfare when her husband couldn't support the family, and she was also trapped by a poor education, no work skills, and the inability to drive, which made finding work where there was no public transportation almost impossible.

This book is not as dark as The Glass Castle, and the author tells the story with a sense of humor, sharing many funny family stories. She addresses the serious issues faced by children in her situation, but without self pity. Growing up, Audrey and her sisters struggled to appear normal, knowing that most families didn't live the way they did. I admire the tenacity these girls had to stay in school, finish their educations, and break the cycle of poverty when they reached adulthood, despite all the roadblocks they faced.

[Georgianna Price · Rating 5 out of 5]

In a million years, I don't know if I could write about my family as "Awdrey" has. Granted, my family wasn't/isn't near as crazy as what she and her sisters had to deal with growing up. It takes a whole lot of nerve to be able to write an honest memoir like this - I just hope that the book itself didn't drive wedges between any of the family members.

Reading this book was a little difficult. I alternated between wanting to buy the narrarator a Twix and supressing the growing need to slap her parents for being so selfish that they put their needs and wants above the stability and nurturing that these three girls needed and deserved to help them grow into responsible adults. It amazes me that the sisters accomplished this feat without the help of their parents, or maybe in spite of them?

I read some of the other reviews here when trying to decide how to write mine and I was startled to see any one star marks - this seems to be because people are offended by coarse language. I am a little bothered by this, espcially since the "reviewers" didn't actually read the book. I hope other potential book worms will see these other honest reviews and take a chance on a wonderful read.

I can't wait to find out what happens to Awdrey in Oregon.

[Belinda Barfield · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book reminded me of what growing up as the child of a food stamp family felt like. Experiencing this first hand was rough. Many times in the book, I felt like crying for the author because I had shed many of the same tears as a kid. Growing up without a father figure plays out a lot in this book but also in my life. I, like the author, resented my mother for the things we had to do, for the things I did not have, and the second hand items I did have. But in reality, I see that she was doing the best she could given the circumstances. For that, I am grateful to her for doing what she could!

[Jan · Rating 5 out of 5]

The story was well written and very believable as to being seen from a young child's eyes. The epilogue was a nice way to tie it all up and not leave us hanging as to what happened with this family. Would like to see more from this author.

[Tyra Voll · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great read that I never wanted to put down. I laughed out loud more times than I can count. I even yelled out in frustration at what I read. But what to say about someone's life growing up that is funny, humbling, sad, frustrating with out making it tragic. It is satisfying to read about her ability to overcome the roller-coaster of her life growing up. It causes you to pause and reflect on your own life. I can't recommend this read enough. If you like true stories it is a great read. If you prefer to read something funny, it is a guaranteed must read. I hope that there will be another book to come- maybe what her life has been since being away from the family.

[Poorna Rajaraman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Its a great book about a dysfunctional family. My heart goes out for Audrey, and she is just talking about until she is an adult. Its kind of interesting to hear about 80's America and the food stamps etc. I was from a better , protected functional family and can see how difficult its going to be for Audrey.

Did she write another book ?

I am tempted to write about my childhood like this.. not sure how she remembers so many things! And the way she articulates, so that its not boring.. Hats off!

[Valerie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved it!! I thought my childhood was "different," but after reading Audrey' s story, I realize it wasn't half bad. It could've been a great deal worse. Great story of overcoming parental adversity.

[Jayne Gordon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very much enjoyed this memoir about a girl growing up in her very dysfunctional family.

[Barb · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book draws on the very vivid memories of the author, whose family traveled around the country following an alcoholic father who was unable to hold a job or put down roots.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the book!

[Guy Wheatley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Without reading this book I would never have believed I could so thoroughly enjoy reading about a young girl (15-years-old by the end) growing up in poverty. It just sounds like an Oliver Twist, soul crushing topic. But it’s not. DeKam doesn’t sugar coat her youthful tribulations and my heart did go out to the struggling youth. But the book is amazingly uplifting and hopeful.
Though as a 63-year-old man I have almost nothing in common with the author, I nonetheless found myself identifying with her. Part of that may be the many cultural landmarks from the 80s that she uses. More than that, is the personality of the heroine. Underlying the remembered bouts of self pity is a hopeful and exuberant soul. You can tell by her attitude that this will be a story of triumph.
Finally the humor won me over. It is a little reminiscent of “A Christmas Story,” in the way we see events filtered through a child’s viewpoint and understanding.
Normally, in my reviews, I try to point out the type of reader who might enjoy a book, and those that likely would not. For example, do you like a lot of minutia or a broader picture. With book, I can’t imagine anybody who would not enjoy it. I give it my highest recommendation to all readers.

[Cbspaan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this fascinating! I know the author and her sisters. It is amazing to think about how much they've overcome to become the wonderful, accomplished women they are today.

[Lisa West · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely LOVED this memior!
Didn't want put it down!
Genuine, quirky, heartfelt!!
Hope to see more from "Awdrey!"
😉❤️📚

[Sharon · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a memoir in which the author describes her childhood growing up in a dysfunctional family. The father is an alcoholic who lives off and on with the family, and the mother is basically co-dependent. There is enough humor to make this somewhat entertaining, and the author provides a first-hand account of the social stigma of being on welfare. Anyone who thinks the average welfare recipient enjoys being dependent on it should read this. Parts of the book were repetitive, but I give the author credit for sharing her story. There are parts of her story that many people can relate to, even of their childhoods weren't as bad as hers.

[Paulette · Rating 4 out of 5]

This story took a while to pull me in, maybe because I read it in short spurts, but once it did, wow. Audrey writes about growing up in abject poverty, with crippling anxiety, so well the anger at her situation is palpable. I had trouble sleeping a few nights while reading because the struggles she faced, and documented so eloquently, shook me so deeply. I wanted to slap her parents! But of course there was a happy ending. Good read!

[Erin Gudge · Rating 5 out of 5]

Honest humor and witty wisdom

Growing up poor is never easy. Growing up poor and moving constantly while worrying about your alcoholic father and self involved mother can knock you down hard enough that you don't want to even try to get back up. Audrey DeKam proves that tenacity and a good sense of humor along with a working alternator can see you on your way to a better future.

[Gail · Rating 3 out of 5]

I borrowed this book from the kindle lending library. I might have liked the book more if it didn't hit so close to home. The story of living in poverty, on Welfare and very ashamed of it, moving constantly, the alcholism and trying to grow up to be "normal". Painfull!

[Candy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great memoir written by my sister's best friend's sister!

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

Audrey is right when she said we are naturally curious about other human beings. It is a good book just long and drawn out.

[Clark Nielsen · Rating 3 out of 5]

It takes a while to get going and hits several lulls along the way, but it's still an interesting look at what it's like to grow up on welfare.

[Tamara · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a good read. Although there were things said that made me feel uncomfortable, I enjoyed most of it. She was very honest. I am so happy she broke the cycle. I can't wait to read the memoir.

[Therese]

$0.0

[Denise Gusbar · Rating 3 out of 5]

Entertaining the style it was written & the 1980's memories. At times it felt repetitive.it was a good memoir

[Elisa · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting topic, but in great need of editing and rewriting. It read like a first draft. In the end, the flaws were too much and I decided not to finish.

[Trichia Joyce phillips · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best book I've read. Reminded me of my childhood. It's a biography but I couldn't put in down.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book a lot more than I thought I would. Very worth the read for those considering.