Accompany Them with Singing--The Christian Funeral

by Thomas G. Long

Thomas G. Long, one of America's most trusted and thoughtful pulpit voices, provides a much needed theological and cultural critique of today's Christian funeral. Long begins by describing how the Christian funeral developed historically, theologically, and liturgically and then discusses recent cultural trends in funeral practices, including the rise in number of cremations and memorial services. He describes the basic pattern for a funeral service, details options in funeral planning, identifies characteristics of a "good funeral," and provides thoughtful guidance for preaching at a funeral.

But Long also notes a disturbing trend toward funeral services that seem theologically right and pastorally caring but actually depart from the primary aims of the Christian funeral. Long argues that the proper Christian funeral should be constructed around the metaphor of the deceased as a saint traveling on a baptismal journey toward God, accompanied by the community of faith on "the last mile of the way." He cautions that the cultural conditions for maintaining this view are under stress and a new, less theological and less satisfying metaphor that focuses on the mourner has begun to erode the Christian view. He contrasts the ancient grand community drama with today's trend toward body-less memorial services that focus primarily on the living and grief management, arguing that this is a loss for the church and calling for the church to reclaim the classic metaphor.

Genres: Theology, Religion, Christianity, Faith, Nonfiction, Death, Christian

242 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

Reviews

[Carol Bakker · Rating 5 out of 5]

On June 5th, my husband and I went to Brenda's (fellow homeschool mom, fellow Latin student, dear friend) service. It was unlike any funeral we've attended, in that it looked at death through the lens of baptism. Ritual and symbolism abounded. The opening hymn proclaimed: God's Own Child, I gladly say it: I am baptized into Christ! Her casket was covered with a white pall, to signify her baptism.

Intrigued. Amazed. Baffled.

Baptism? Of course! I almost wanted to hit my forehead with my flat hand. If baptism is a picture of death and resurrection, HOW did I make it 63 years of my life without a funeral/memorial service that employed baptism as the reigning metaphor?

The words, the rites, the songs all stayed with me. In the months that followed I worked this funeral service into as many conversations as I could (and keep my friends).

If Brenda had not died —if we hadn't been so gobsmacked by her service—, even though I passionately care about funerals, I think this book would have bounced off my brain.

The cover is compelling. I pounced on the book when I first saw it (my brother was reading it). Then I read these words on the inside cover: Long argues that the proper Christian funeral should be constructed around the metaphor of the deceased as a saint traveling on a baptismal journey toward God, accompanied by the community of faith on "the last mile of the way." In less than a minute, I had purchased it.

To be clear, there are a few things I don't agree with. And I'm perplexed how we can reclaim a Christian funeral in today's environment.

But, oh, this did my heart a world of good. Best book of 2021, I predict.

[Russ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Several years ago, I was invited to attend a seminar for pastors hosted by a large funeral home in our city. I decided to go, if for no other reason than out of sheer curiosity as to why the funeral home would be hosting a seminar for pastors. The speaker was Tom Long, and the content of that seminar was an overview of the major themes of this book. I was so captivated by what he was saying, I had to purchase the book.

When I attended the seminar, and subsequently began reading the book, I was still reeling from a couple of funerals I had recently performed in which the requests of the surviving families for a "personalized" service had completely bypassed "sublime" and made a bee-line for "ridiculous." Hearing Dr. Long speak, and reading his more thorough explanations, about what went wrong with funerals, what they are supposed to be, and how to fix them, was so refreshing and practically helpful. The book deals with funerals from a distinctly Christian perspective, and does so historically, philosophically, theologically, pastorally, and practically. I have recommended the book to nearly every pastor I know, and I never miss an opportunity to implement some of its many helpful applications in my own ministry as I conduct funerals. Long helps us to not only do better what we do, but also to do it with more understanding of why we do those things. It is the ideal balance of theory and practice.

There are a few places throughout the book where Long's personal theological commitments surface, and I would charitably classify some of his views as "left of center." Despite his thoroughly "gospel" vocabulary, there are indications that Long is "inclusivist" in his soteriology, with periodic flashes of what could be understood as universalism here and there in the book. There is also a steady stream of sacramentalism that would be questionable to many Baptists (myself included). In short, Long represents the theological commitments of mainline Protestantism, and as someone who stands outside the mainline, I find many places where my theology differs, and I consider Long to be not just wrong but dead and dangerously wrong. Thankfully those places are infrequent in the book. So, the book is not without its shortcomings. And yet, on a scale of 1-5, I would STILL give it a 5! It really is that good.

At times, Long is firm in biblical conviction about a belief or practice that has Scriptural underpinnings. Then there are moments when he is firm, yet realistic when it comes to matters of traditional practice. And there are moments of refreshing candor when he acknowledges liberty for personal preferences and local traditions to arise. But the clarion call of this book is that there is something different about the funeral of a Christian. And that "something different" is to be experienced, shared, and even celebrated by the entire community of faith as we walk them to the edge of eternity and bid them farewell.

There are four kinds of people who should read this book. The author's intent is undoubtedly for his book to be read by pastors. However, there is benefit to be found beyond the clergy. If I were in a position of authority with a funeral home, I would require this book to be read by every staff member. Thirdly, if you are a Christian and you foresee a day in your own future wherein you would have to carry out the responsibilities of laying your loved one to rest, you would certainly benefit from the entire book. Fourth, knowing that one day you will attend your last funeral (as the guest of honor no doubt), reading this book could be of tremendous help to you as you talk about your wishes with your family.

So, bottom line -- 5 stars, Must reading for pastors and church leaders; good reading even for those who are not. My hope is that the book will be read widely, the ideas will be championed broadly, and that we might see a "Reformation" of funerary practices in contemporary American culture.

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was just fantastic. Time to start planning my funeral!

[Nick · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really liked a lot of what Long has to say about the meaning of funerals--we are performing a drama that depicts the Gospel. I really appreciate his idealism and helpful diagramming of what a Christian funeral could/should look like. The second and third chapters were where I found myself disagreeing with him.

It seems that Long does not believe in bi- or tri-partate persons. He does not believe that people have souls but that they are souls. He labels anyone with such notions as "quasi-gnostics" or "Platonists." He uses N.T. Wright to make part of his point, and then diverges with him at this one. At first, I believed that Long was advocating some kind of "soul sleep," but he clarified that he believes that the person who has died immediately raises to life in the final Resurrection of the Dead. The reasons he gives for this belief are Einsteinian theories of relative time--eternal vs earthly (historic).

So, to his view, there is not an intermediate state from the dead person's perspective, but this doesn't get around to explaining exactly what is being raised. If it is the essence of the person, doesn't that constitute a spirit or a soul? Where does the continuity come from? In these matters he is unclear and unhelpful whereas N.T. Wright was both.

[Alex Strohschein · Rating 3 out of 5]

I can count the funerals I've attended with one hand and of those I went to, I was never involved with the careful and reflective behind-the-scenes planning and organizing. Thomas G. Long provides readers with a useful guide for how those in pastoral care should approach preparing and enacting a funeral service. He cautions against the temptation to be dualistic (soul/body dichotomy) and against overpersonalizing the funeral so that it becomes tacky. He reminds readers that discernment is always required because every person is unique and every funeral thus has its unique context, though the proclamation of the Good News must always be included. It is often necessary to juggle tradition and innovation as well as the deceased individual and the needs of mourners (is the funeral ONLY about the deceased or is it ONLY about those who mourn or some combination of the two?). Death does not destroy, but it changes the relationship, between the living and the dead. Along the way, he also details how shifts in attitude in the West and among Christians regarding death have altered funeral practices. I highly recommend this book to those in ministry and pastoral care.

[Howard Boswell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve owned this book for a while and kept promising myself I would read it. After completing Accompany Them with Singing, I wish that I had read it sooner. Thomas Long has written a definitive book on Christian funerals. He provides helpful correctives to current funeral practices. He brings theology to bear on the practice of funeral. I am grateful for Tom’s wisdom, which continues to guide me as a pastor as he did when I was his student at Princeton Theological Seminary.

[Stephen · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the inevitabilities of Christian ministry is the Christian funeral. Many ministers find presiding over funerals to be both incredibly challenging and incredibly rewarding. However, with the ever pressing demand of Sunday services, the death of a saint does not often allow for thorough analysis of the meaning and purpose of a Christian funeral. Without theological reflection, the minister can easily be swept along into whatever practices are en vogue for the moment. Thomas Long, in his book Accompany Them with Singing, seeks to fill what he sees as a void in current Christian thinking about funerals.
For decades, Long argues, Christian funerals have lost the plot. Two key factors have led funerals astray. First, ministers (and others presiding at funerals) have too thoroughly bought into a therapeutic model for the Christian funeral. In this model, the funeral is meant for the living, to bring comfort for the grieving. The funeral is not truly about the deceased, or God for that matter. Second, Christian funerals have adopted dualistic language about the body and soul that underplays the embodied nature of the Christian life. We have disregarded the body of the deceased in both our words and our practice.
By contrast, Long desires for the Christian funeral to recover its gospel character. The saint who has died is on the journey to God. We have gathered to witness their passage. The very notes that should sound at any presentation of the gospel (baptism, repentance, death, resurrection, forgiveness, adoption, etc.) should sound at the Christian funeral. These notes should sound with all the particularity of the context of the community and the deceased. The funeral will bring comfort, but Long argues this is a by-product of the gospel, not the purpose of the funeral itself. The funeral should be personal, but not personalized, which would ultimately obscure the gospel.
The breadth of Long’s study of the Christian funeral serves as its greatest strength and its greatest weakness. Long serves to get much of the relevant material on the table for further discussion. For a single volume, Long manages to accomplish a lot. He frames issues well, but his desire to respect the contextual particularities of different regions means he leaves many questions open on which I would have preferred more clarity. Additionally, Long’s critique of platonic dualism in Christian funeral practice seems warranted, if a little heavy-handed at times (He even goes so far as to accuse N.T. Wright of Platonism).
Overall, I found Accompany Them with Singing helpful in thinking about how I lead funerals. I enjoyed the way Long wove theology and history together in a way that helped give me a clearer picture of the present. While not perfect, it is still a worthy introduction to the theology and practice of the Christian funeral.

[Cape Rust · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Multi-tool for Christian Funerals

This book was recommended to me by a Undertaker (Funeral Director, read the book you will understand) who’s father, a pastor recommended to her. As a pastor who has officiated many funerals, this book spoke to me. This book is about getting back to the basics of a Christian funeral, and what those basics really mean. This book as well written as it is has a limited audience, but the people that should read this book, need to read this book, but clergy and undertakers alike.

[David · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish I had read this book 10 funerals ago. He makes the case that there must be a distinct Christian funeral. What makes a funeral Christian is not a few moments while the preacher talks where the gospel is preached, but rather a Christian funeral proclaims and demonstrates the gospel throughout the entire service itself.

The book is broken into two halves. The first half is an overview of how funerals have developed through history. He spends a lot of time showing the doctrinal shift and the guiding beliefs for why certain practices where accepted in funerals and how things changed. This is the strongest part of the book. He points out a myriad of ways churches have accepted cultural ideas and attitudes towards funerals that are not necessarily Christian.

The second part of the book is where he tries to apply the idea of a Christian funeral and argue for an approach. I was disappointed by this part and disagreed often with where he was going. He helped me recognize the problem and I agree generally that Christianity needs to think more deeply about what makes a funeral Christian. But his solution left me unsatisfied.

He had some doctrinal ideas I found strange. He flirts with universalism in a way that made me uncomfortable. It might be fair to call him a hopeful universalist even if he would not affirm that it is true. He also had a weird belief about the resurrection of the dead and the intermediate state. He tries to argue that the dead have been bodily resurrected right now at the present moment. Even though the resurrection will come through Christ later, God is outside time so they are actually already experiencing the resurrection to come.

Despite the weird theology and rejecting his solution, I really enjoyed this book. He helped me think about how to approach funerals in a way I had never considered. I highly recommend this book to anyone who regularly plans and leads them.

[Caleb Rolling · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm giving this four stars, though with some hesitation. Long presents a great history of the Christian funeral, and he not only does good cultural analysis on popular beliefs concerning death and normal contemporary funeral practices, but he diagnoses the problem with the contemporary Christian funeral, and he diagnoses it correctly, in my opinion. Long also presents good guidelines and items to consider when planning a Christian funeral. Overall, this is a solid book to introduce a person to the many issues involving the Christian funeral.

I do not, however, wholly endorse Long in his theology about the person and death. Again, he can be commended for introducing the reader to issues that one must ponder, and one quickly sees the importance of having a robustly biblical theology of the person and death, but his own theology of death and personhood are, in my opinion, deficient. Here he gives off a bland mainline denominational flavor. Rather than consulting Long for a theology of death and personhood, one ought to go to N.T. Wright's "Surprised By Hope" instead. Wright will be of better help.

Theologically, one will need to "translate" some of the book, and Long writes in such a way that this theological translation is not impossible. It's an overall good resource if one is willing to consult it critically.

[John Pawlik · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have wanted to learn more about funerals and the issues that come with them, this book was a great introduction! Dr. Pasquarello gave it to me in my last year of seminary and said it was a good standard book to start with and I just got around to it.

It was a really helpful book! Lots of pastoral wisdom and theological reflection on death, grief, the order of funerals and the practical issues that surround them.

Thomas Long leans towards universalism, so that made some of the final chapters of the book struggle to weigh into the tough issues I was going to this book for. Even with that, it’s worth reading for the practical wisdom of someone who has thought well about Christian funerals for a long time! I think anyone hoping to pastor would benefit from it even if they have to fill in more based of non-universalistic theology and denominational and traditional specifics for how their church community would handle funerals.

Beautifully written, great read.

[Greer Rutt · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an interesting and practical guide for planning funerals and as a rising minister, I really appreciated the way the drama of the gospel is highlighted. However, the practicality of that drama was a little lost on me. I found the book to be more Theological in that sense and not so pastoral. I'm not sure if I agree with his anti-cremation/memorial viewpoint, but his logic on getting there is spot on. He hits the nail on the head in gnostic/dualistic views of death and gets into the embracing aspect of it so well. Including for the dying process! I loved it overall and thought it a solid read!

[Douglas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dr. Long was one of my professors. He reflects on a Christian Funeral as being a pageant in which the congregation journeys with the deceased from the sanctuary to the graveside. The theological tradition behind Christian Funerals determines how we approach the inevitability of death. Consumer driven practices that determine the format of funerals today challenges the sacredness of Christian liturgy. I appreciate how Tom Long sympathizes with pastors who struggle with the integrity of the liturgy as it bumps up against powerful secular influences.

[Aaron W · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unbelievable book. I came here to gain some understanding in the elements of a Christian funeral and left with rich, deep, God- magnifying theology on death. In terms of stirring my soul to worship, this is one of the best books I’ve ever read.

“As a force that destroys life and all that life holds dear, death is worthy only of our sneer.” -Long

“Weep, then, at the death of a dear one as if you were bidding farewell to one setting out on a journey.” -Chrysostom

[Sarah Juist · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are several nuggets of wisdom to be found here, but you have to sift through a lot of nostalgia for “the good old days when everyone just intuitively knew how to do a proper funeral.” Truthfully, I would love to see an updated conversation on this topic that starts with the last two chapters, where there are actual theological arguments presented.

[Jefferson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Long's writing is better than his theology. This, I expected. It is rather less silly than I expected, and I thank him for that.

I intend to slowly re-read this book and reflect carefully upon the issues and questions Long raised. The structure of his book is tolerable, after all.

[Alexandra Jacob · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. Why didn’t anyone make me read this in seminary? Portions of this book almost singlehandedly carried me through officiating my first funeral and graveside back in January, and I finally finished the rest of the book today. Brb going to tell all my pastor friends to read this ASAP

[Barbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a book for the professional. I slogged through it but was way over my depth. I took away that a funeral should be the passage of a life, carried on from baptism, and literally, carried to the grave. Food for thought.

[HC · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very insightful, first of its kind for me to read, so helpful to consider and apply.

For an overview in podcast show see,
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast...

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I'd had this book in seminary!

[JA · Rating 5 out of 5]

Where was this in seminary?

[Charles Reimler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quality Well Written Materials To Ponder & Practice

[Kathleen Krynski · Rating 3 out of 5]

The practical side was very, very helpful. The "background" section, I wasn't so sure about. I'm not sure about his view of the soul and body, and it felt that he contradicted himself at times.

[Ryan Ahlenius · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have not read much on the history and biblical basis for the traditional Christian funeral. This was thought-provoking and refreshing.

[Sean Cavender · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book a great deal. I found it to restore some good thoughts involving the funeral against modern day practices and mindsets.

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

At the "Reclaiming the Text" Preaching Conference, Montreat 2006, my former preaching professor Tom Long pulled me out of my seat in the front row to join him in the journey of the Prodigal Son, whose story he was re-telling in a lecture on preaching themes from the Gospel of Luke. In reading his recent book on the Christian funeral, I feel a similar tug on my arm as Long invites the reader to understand the Church's ministry in the wake of death in terms of a "journey." The journey that Long traces moves from preparation of the body of a "holy person," to a processional that walks through a "holy place," filled with "holy people," using a "holy script," all the way to the end of the journey at the grave or crematorium.
Characteristic of his writing, Long’s richly descriptive sentences convey experiential truth in a way that awes the average pastor, who often labors for hours in vain to achieve a similar result. Take a look at chapter seven “The Marks of a Good Funeral” for several examples, i.e. “At weddings, pastors sometimes feel trampled by overenthusiastic couples and their ‘wedding handlers,’ who can on occasion treat pastors as props, ecclesiastical bling in a schmaltzy fairy tale scripted by Brides Magazine. The wildness of death, however, is not so easily managed.”
In the “acknowledgements” and “introduction” that preface the book, Long describes a 14-year journey of writing the book, a journey during which many of his attitudes, assumptions, and pastoral instincts were challenged. Long’s emphasis upon the importance of the body reflects his relatively recent and vibrant opposition to the neo-Gnostic bent of so much contemporary spirituality. To a degree that was not true before the writing of this book, Long now believes and emphasizes that to God, the flesh matters. The inclusion of the body in Christian worship at times of death, literally, or at least symbolically, and accompanying the body of the one for whom Christ has died all the way to the grave, is, in his mind, a vital element that marks the funeral as “Christian.”
Long’s book is offered as the first comprehensive treatise on the Christian funeral in more than fifty years. Readers looking for a simple nuts-and-bolts “how to” manual will be disappointed. But clergy who regularly officiate funerals will be rewarded with a thoughtful appraisal of current funeral practices, and a cohesive theological foundation for informing ministry at times of death. “In the funerals of the departed, accompany them with singing, if they were faithful in Christ, for precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.” – Apostolic Constitutions, 6.30

[Drew · Rating 3 out of 5]

In many ways, I really liked this book, especially towards the beginning. Much of the information presented appeared to be thoroughly researched, and I will definitely incorporate a lot of that material into my own ministry. His discourses on life after death, the importance of the body at the funeral, and death as a journey are top-notch theological reflections. Alongside of all of this, Long offers a ton of practical help for preachers.

However, there is just too much about this book that bugs me for me to rate it any higher. Primarily, I closed the final page feeling as if this book was too triumphalistic. Long looks too glibly at death for my taste as one who has to face pastoral issues on a daily basis. Without wasting too much digital space, I will say that I think he overlooks both the "Good Friday" element and the lament tradition of the Christian life. I have found much deeper reflection on the pastoral dimension of the reality/pain of death (in proper prospective alongside Christian hope) from other scholars like Richard Hays, Walter Brueggemann, and Allen Verhey. Also, he leaves out way too much at the end on difficult funerals. We only get a few paragraphs on what comprises a large chunk of the funerals over which I preside. Finally, I wanted more on the extant funeral liturgies/prayer books. He does not go into detail as to why he prefers some liturgies better than others and how we might incorporate them into our tradition's liturgies.

With all of this said, this is still a crucial book for a pastor's library. In fact, I would love for Long to write a similar book on weddings.

[Jeff Garrison · Rating 5 out of 5]

Accompany Them with Singing is a magnificent short volume on the funeral. Thomas Long begins with a historical overview of the Christian funeral, beginning with the Jewish and Roman funeral rituals that the church drew from. He covers the theology around the funeral and how the service, at its best should e “worshipful drama†that reenacts what we believe about life and death and the resurrection. Next, he suggests how we might make funerals more meaningful. Finally, Long covers preaching at funerals and offers some advice on how to handle difficult cases such as the death of a child or a suicide. Long is critical of the modern trend to memorial services in which the body of the deceased isn’t present. The body, according to Long, offers a second sermon. It is a visual reminder that life is fleeting, that we will all die and that our hope isn’t in this world. Although Long wants the service to be personalized, he also advises caution here as the purpose of all such services is to focus the attention on the God who gives life (and resurrection) and not to overly emphasize the deceased. Long also envisions the service to be a journey (from life to death, from the church to the burial) and likes the symbolism of moving with the body to its final resting place (or to the crematorium.

[Lynne · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author provides good information, but belabors his point...that the body should be present at a Christian funeral, whether whole or cremated. But then he belabors that point repeatedly...this book could have made an important and interesting (if somewhat long) article, but as a book, it becomes simply repetitive.

Perhaps the best portion of the book comes at the end when the author enumerates "The Eight Purposes of a Good Funeral Sermon" and gives some ideas about "Difficult Funerals" (death of a child, suicide....

I certainly do appreciate his view that the funeral is not for closure of the survivors, but for the person who died...the funeral is us accompanying that person on the last mile of their journey...somehow we forget that.

[Paul Burkhart · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a remarkable book. It has everything. It is a reference book, but it is worth your time to read all the way through. It is immensely theological, historical, AND practical. This is so rare is such a book. The only issue is that, because it functions so well as a reference work, it doesn't stock in your mind. It won't leave an indelible mark on your mind necessarily. It's better as a book to go to when a funeral arises in your midst. You won't retain even half the things you read here, even though it's all gold. Read it through once. Then keep it close. For the time(s) you need it will surely come, and you will want to know the layout of this book to help you then.