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When Life Hurts: Finding Hope and Healing from the Pain You Carry
We all experience emotional pain--and even devastation--in our lives, but few of us know how to deal with it properly. Our unresolved pain accumulates deep within the recesses of our hearts, in a place Jimmy Evans calls the "hurt pocket." The more pain we accumulate, the more we are mentally, emotionally, and relationally crippled. But what if we could reach into that hurt pocket, confront our pain, and experience release and freedom?
Jimmy Evans shows readers how to completely remove and resolve every negative event from their past that is compromising their present and keeping them from their God-given destiny. He helps readers forgive others and themselves and discover true inner peace.
Perfect for individuals, as well as small groups and entire churches, When Life Hurts will help set people free from the pain of the past so they can live fully in the present and look forward to the future.
240 pages, Hardcover
First published October 1, 2013
79 people are currently reading
490 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
October 14, 2013
No outside help needed. All you need is God and the Bible
I was disappointed with the contents of this book. Perhaps my expectations were too high. The main point I received from reading this book was that all anyone needs to heal and recover from their painful past is to take responsibility for your beliefs, choices, and actions, hand them over to God, and let the text of the Bible transform you into a new person.
The deafening silence regarding any kind of medical or psychological help is rather telling. For a book that discusses various types of abuse and domestic violence, addictions, mental health illnesses, depression and suicide, I had hoped and expected to see advice to seek appropriate licensed help outside the confines of the church. But that is nowhere to be found in this book. There is no sign that Jimmy Evans considers physical and neurological basis contributing to life issues. For this reason alone I hesitate to recommend this book to anyone.
There is some redemption for this book, however. Where Evans writes about spiritual counseling, he provides useful advice. From a Christian perspective, physical and emotional issues do affect spiritual health and vice versa. It is important to work through life issues wholistically. By focusing solely on addressing issues from a spiritual perspective, Evans fails the wholistic approach.
Evans approaches this topic from an Evangelistic Christian perspective. Thus the assumptions are made regarding the plenary inspiration and direct divine authority of the written scriptures as found in the Bible. Assumption is also made that Satan is a direct and active agency in human lives. This book will not appeal to Christians who have issues with either or both of these assumptions.
A few other issues I had with the book include a small section that hinted at what could be seen as promoting a Prosperity Gospel. Evans writes that God does not want anyone to be in poverty and that if a person really trusts God, he will never be in want. (Due to this review being based on an ARC, I can't quote the book.) Somewhat related to this is that Evans gives the implication that if a person does not experience healing, whether it be emotional, physical, or spiritual, it is because she has failed to take necessary responsibility for confessing her faults. Evans is treading on shaky theologies in these regards.
I wavered between rating this book one and two stars, but ultimately chose two because some of the spiritual insights are useful. Spiritual counselors must know where their limits are and welcome licensed, professional help from others. I think there is a place for this book as a complement to a broader, more wholistic approach to emotional and mental health issues.
(This review is based on an Advance Review Copy of the book provided through NetGalley by the publisher.)
I was disappointed with the contents of this book. Perhaps my expectations were too high. The main point I received from reading this book was that all anyone needs to heal and recover from their painful past is to take responsibility for your beliefs, choices, and actions, hand them over to God, and let the text of the Bible transform you into a new person.
The deafening silence regarding any kind of medical or psychological help is rather telling. For a book that discusses various types of abuse and domestic violence, addictions, mental health illnesses, depression and suicide, I had hoped and expected to see advice to seek appropriate licensed help outside the confines of the church. But that is nowhere to be found in this book. There is no sign that Jimmy Evans considers physical and neurological basis contributing to life issues. For this reason alone I hesitate to recommend this book to anyone.
There is some redemption for this book, however. Where Evans writes about spiritual counseling, he provides useful advice. From a Christian perspective, physical and emotional issues do affect spiritual health and vice versa. It is important to work through life issues wholistically. By focusing solely on addressing issues from a spiritual perspective, Evans fails the wholistic approach.
Evans approaches this topic from an Evangelistic Christian perspective. Thus the assumptions are made regarding the plenary inspiration and direct divine authority of the written scriptures as found in the Bible. Assumption is also made that Satan is a direct and active agency in human lives. This book will not appeal to Christians who have issues with either or both of these assumptions.
A few other issues I had with the book include a small section that hinted at what could be seen as promoting a Prosperity Gospel. Evans writes that God does not want anyone to be in poverty and that if a person really trusts God, he will never be in want. (Due to this review being based on an ARC, I can't quote the book.) Somewhat related to this is that Evans gives the implication that if a person does not experience healing, whether it be emotional, physical, or spiritual, it is because she has failed to take necessary responsibility for confessing her faults. Evans is treading on shaky theologies in these regards.
I wavered between rating this book one and two stars, but ultimately chose two because some of the spiritual insights are useful. Spiritual counselors must know where their limits are and welcome licensed, professional help from others. I think there is a place for this book as a complement to a broader, more wholistic approach to emotional and mental health issues.
(This review is based on an Advance Review Copy of the book provided through NetGalley by the publisher.)
February 25, 2025
𝐇𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬;
-It sounds bizarre to say it, even now as I write the words, but the most transforming part of the ordeal was that I knew I had been uncovered. Someone had peeked over the wall that I had so carefully built around my heart, and my world didn’t implode. It actually was a freeing experience. I realized, probably for the first time in my life, that it was okay to be vulnerable. It was okay to let someone lift the veil and see my weaknesses. It was okay to expose the wounded spirit behind the mask. It was okay to hurt and to let others see my wounds. It was a strange awakening. I was still insecure, still in hiding, still guarding my heart, but God was teaching me that it was possible to let others in and see the real me.
-God needs our willingness to be vulnerable and unprotected, to take off the many masks we wear in order to hide our flaws from others. God needs us to be held accountable, because accountability is a critical step in the healing process.
-It’s impossible to build a relationship with someone when your world is defined by fear, when you don’t think you can trust them with your pain, when you try to keep others at arm’s length
-Divine healing is available to us, but if we expect God’s healing to remain, we have to be willing to change those lifestyle habits that caused us to be in bondage to pain.
-Don’t let your pain become your identity. Rather, let it be your testimony.
-We can change the way we choose to relate to our families and our spouses. We can control what we do with our own pain and dysfunction. We can take responsibility for the things we say and the way we act at home. We are all free to rise above our circumstances. We are free to forgive the sins of our past and move forward. We are all free to change, we have the power to change as well. No one has to pass on a legacy of pain. We all have the power to choose the legacy we leave behind.
-Childhood suffering is not a mortal wound, and it did not irrevocably shape your destiny. . . . Just as the pain, hurt, and suffering that came to you as a child were powerfully real, so is the tangible resilience of your spirit. —Wayne Muller
-We are all deeply affected by the wounds of our past. And so much of the pain we experience is made worse by the messages the Hurt Whisperer implants within them. The problem with that reality is that it’s impossible to be the blessing we should be to those around us unless we first make peace with our past.
-And forgive them for their bigger mistakes of abandonment, abuse, addiction—those things that aren’t just painful but devastating. Forgive them for all the things they said and did, as well as the things they didn’t say or do. Forgiveness is essential in being set free and in emptying the hurt pockets in our hearts. Forgiveness simply means we release the judgment of a person and bring their account with us to zero. They owe us nothing, and we will do nothing to pay them back. And true forgiveness is unconditional. It isn’t based on the response we get or the remorse we sense from the one who wounded us. In many cases, the person from our past whom we need to forgive is unaware or unrepentant, and they’re often unwilling to take responsibility for their actions. But that’s not important. What’s important is our willingness to forgive, regardless of the offense, just as we have been forgiven.
“Forgiveness doesn’t make the other person right, it just makes you free.”
-Inner vows keep us bound to the past. And it’s impossible to look ahead toward a bright and blessed future when our hearts are still tied to pain that should have long since been erased. Before you can move forward, you have to first turn loose of your inner vows. Until you do, they will never turn loose of you.
-It sounds bizarre to say it, even now as I write the words, but the most transforming part of the ordeal was that I knew I had been uncovered. Someone had peeked over the wall that I had so carefully built around my heart, and my world didn’t implode. It actually was a freeing experience. I realized, probably for the first time in my life, that it was okay to be vulnerable. It was okay to let someone lift the veil and see my weaknesses. It was okay to expose the wounded spirit behind the mask. It was okay to hurt and to let others see my wounds. It was a strange awakening. I was still insecure, still in hiding, still guarding my heart, but God was teaching me that it was possible to let others in and see the real me.
-God needs our willingness to be vulnerable and unprotected, to take off the many masks we wear in order to hide our flaws from others. God needs us to be held accountable, because accountability is a critical step in the healing process.
-It’s impossible to build a relationship with someone when your world is defined by fear, when you don’t think you can trust them with your pain, when you try to keep others at arm’s length
-Divine healing is available to us, but if we expect God’s healing to remain, we have to be willing to change those lifestyle habits that caused us to be in bondage to pain.
-Don’t let your pain become your identity. Rather, let it be your testimony.
-We can change the way we choose to relate to our families and our spouses. We can control what we do with our own pain and dysfunction. We can take responsibility for the things we say and the way we act at home. We are all free to rise above our circumstances. We are free to forgive the sins of our past and move forward. We are all free to change, we have the power to change as well. No one has to pass on a legacy of pain. We all have the power to choose the legacy we leave behind.
-Childhood suffering is not a mortal wound, and it did not irrevocably shape your destiny. . . . Just as the pain, hurt, and suffering that came to you as a child were powerfully real, so is the tangible resilience of your spirit. —Wayne Muller
-We are all deeply affected by the wounds of our past. And so much of the pain we experience is made worse by the messages the Hurt Whisperer implants within them. The problem with that reality is that it’s impossible to be the blessing we should be to those around us unless we first make peace with our past.
-And forgive them for their bigger mistakes of abandonment, abuse, addiction—those things that aren’t just painful but devastating. Forgive them for all the things they said and did, as well as the things they didn’t say or do. Forgiveness is essential in being set free and in emptying the hurt pockets in our hearts. Forgiveness simply means we release the judgment of a person and bring their account with us to zero. They owe us nothing, and we will do nothing to pay them back. And true forgiveness is unconditional. It isn’t based on the response we get or the remorse we sense from the one who wounded us. In many cases, the person from our past whom we need to forgive is unaware or unrepentant, and they’re often unwilling to take responsibility for their actions. But that’s not important. What’s important is our willingness to forgive, regardless of the offense, just as we have been forgiven.
“Forgiveness doesn’t make the other person right, it just makes you free.”
-Inner vows keep us bound to the past. And it’s impossible to look ahead toward a bright and blessed future when our hearts are still tied to pain that should have long since been erased. Before you can move forward, you have to first turn loose of your inner vows. Until you do, they will never turn loose of you.
June 23, 2017
It's hard to imagine how tightly we hold on to hurts in our life and we allow it to change us. We all do unless we are taught how to deal with them, which so many of us aren't. And then there are the hurts we don't tell anyone about that fester. Why would anyone WANT to hold on to it?
This book is a blessing! I read it at a time when I was ready to be done and over with it all. Not only am I on the road to healing, I feel like I can help my children who are going through their own hurts.
This book is a blessing! I read it at a time when I was ready to be done and over with it all. Not only am I on the road to healing, I feel like I can help my children who are going through their own hurts.
October 3, 2024
Super helpful book! I’d read it again and again!
December 17, 2014
Solid, biblical advice. Non-texans may roll their eyes at all the football and hunting, and non-evangelicals will decry the reliance on scripture and absence of pharmacological solutions.
For myself, I think drugs are called for sometimes, but people often don't realize the damaging and lingering effects of unconfessed sin in their lives, or the inner vows they make in the face of suffering and pain.
A holistic approach needs to include things like forgiveness, confession, and taking personal responsibility. I'm afraid that a lot of modern professional counseling is an endless feedback loop which fails to address the problems at the root of people's dysfunction because it refuses to acknowledge the reality that "the heart of man is desperately wicked."
As for relying on scripture, it either works or it doesn't. I think it does.
All that said, this book was helpful.
For myself, I think drugs are called for sometimes, but people often don't realize the damaging and lingering effects of unconfessed sin in their lives, or the inner vows they make in the face of suffering and pain.
A holistic approach needs to include things like forgiveness, confession, and taking personal responsibility. I'm afraid that a lot of modern professional counseling is an endless feedback loop which fails to address the problems at the root of people's dysfunction because it refuses to acknowledge the reality that "the heart of man is desperately wicked."
As for relying on scripture, it either works or it doesn't. I think it does.
All that said, this book was helpful.
January 13, 2014
I have grown up in religious household..Yes I believe that some issues need to be dealt with medical help...I dont believe drug addiction or alcoholism is caused/or is a sin, but I just have to say this book is very very very well written..I didnt think this would be a good read but I was overwhelmed by how good and how intrigued I was. It's kind of funny about three or four days after I Won this book from this site, apparently my mom bought it off amazon. I told her you miswell return it I am getting a FREE copy, but she never did so Now we have two books in the house, which I am kind of happy about I am glad I have my OWN book..Great work Jimmy
January 23, 2014
I love any book that Jimmy Evans writes, but I think this is my favorite! He talks about receiving healing from past wounds/hurts, how to let those go so that you can grow closer to God. He gives lots of examples from his own life experiences. This book is for anyone, whether they are "hurting" or not... It will help you to minister to others as well.
March 30, 2014
This wasn't quite what I expected it to be and for the most part, it was extremely repetitive. I thought I would find more answers or ideas to ponder on by reading this book, yet most of it reaffirmed what I already knew or thought about on my own. I did really enjoy this quote, "Out of the ashes of our lives he brings beauty. He takes our mourning and turns it into joy."
January 27, 2016
Our small group did a video series last summer with Jimmy Evans. When I saw this book on Amazon for a dollar, I snagged it and I'm glad I did. The biggest take-away from this book was seeing how wounds from our childhood can affect our thinking and choices today. He is vulnerable and humble as he shares his stories and encourages the readers to find hope and healing.
May 31, 2015
Fantastic and love the study guide in the back
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews