Creative Counterpart : Becoming the Woman, Wife, and Mother You Have Longed To Be

by Linda Dillow

Linda Dillow gracefully and succinctly motivates Christian women to reach for more than they are currently experiencing in their marriages. She includes creative suggestions on how to encourage your husband, live above your circumstances, and develop a plan whereby you can begin to become the woman, wife, and mother that you long to be. She describes a creative counterpart as being more than just a helper. She is a woman who, having chosen (or having found herself in) the vocation of wife and mother, decides to learn and grow in all the areas of this role and to work as though she were aiming for the presidency of a corporation. Also included is a Bible study and project guide, which work perfectly for personal study or small group interaction.

Genres: Marriage, Christian, Nonfiction, Christianity, Parenting, Womens, Relationships

272 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1977

About the author

Linda Dillow is no stranger to publishing and adventure. She's the author of Creative Counterpart, Calm My Anxious Heart, and The Blessings Book. Linda and her husband Jody lived in Europe and Asia for 17 years training Christian leaders in closed countries with Biblical Education by Extension, During this time, Linda traveled extensively in Romania, Russia, Hungary, Poland and Asia. She taught women and helped them launch women's ministries. This fire for encouraging and educating others continues as she speaks at women's conferences here and abroad.

Linda's newest adventure is a new ministry that she started with Dr. Juli Slattery- Authentic Intimacy. This ministry focuses on women and their intimacy with their husbands and God.

Linda and Jody Dillow have been married forty years. She is a mother of four children, as well as a grandmother.

Reviews

[Naomi Igna · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oh, well, am citit cărți/articole mai bune, detaliate, mai la țintă decât aceasta. Ca oameni, am evoluat și în aceiași măsură și căsnicia, iar unele informații nu sunt actualizate după studiile recente/ situația contemporană a mariajului.
Nu aș recomanda-o ca prima carte de citit pe subiectul căsătoriei. Și nici ca a doua.
Sunt, însă, și principii bune. Fiecare să ia ce e bun.

[Ashley Wells · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have loved and learned so much from reading marriage books. I thrive on learning by example and from hearing personal experiences. So, reading books and hearing how God is working in the author’s marriage is a great tool that God uses for me to grow in my own role as a wife. This happens often in real life too, as I meet older and wiser women who I continually glean wisdom from!

This book, Creative Counterpart, is read like a conversation with the author, Linda Dillow. Mrs. Dillow’s writing style is very conversational! It makes for a very easy read! Additionally, Mrs. Dillow is a very funny lady (at least I assume from her books that I’ve read!), she adds humor throughout her words, making it even more enjoyable!

Mrs. Dillow defines a creative counterpart as “a woman, who, having chosen the vocation of wife and mother, decides to learn and grow in all the areas of this role and work as though she were aiming for the presidency of a corporation.”

Being a wife and mother is a serious responsibility. We are partners in life with our husbands, whom we are hopefully growing in godliness alongside. Additionally, we are placed with the joint responsibility of training our children and teaching them the things of God. Throughout most of our days, we are shaping souls, either our husband’s or our children’s.

Are we taking our responsibilities seriously? Are we painting an image of Christ and the Church through our marriage? Responding in love and respect to our husband? Are we showing our children grace? Teaching them what it looks like to live a life seeking to bring glory and honor to Christ?

What we are doing day in and day out is serious Kingdom changing business! We should aim to give it our all and grow daily in our roles through the grace of God.

I can definitely recommend this book to other women who seek to learn more about their God-given roles in this life.

As much as I highly recommend this book, if you haven’t read one of Mrs. Dillow’s other books, Intimate Issues, I highly recommend that book too! This book completely transformed my thoughts and perspective on sex early in our marriage, which has proved to be a great blessing!

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

The best part about this book, or maybe I should say the thing that stood out to me the most, was the reminder about priorities. The author suggests an order to what/who should have the highest priority and trickles down to the things that should have the lowest priority. Good reminders and ways to incorporate into daily life.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the best books about biblical womanhood that I have ever read. The author keeps things very simple, while also including quite a few scripture references and practical examples. So it felt “high level” informational, but also could be deeply personal. I will be pulling this back off my shelf for years to come!

[Joelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

While this book did certainly contain biblical truth and helpful advice, I did not agree with all the content.

[Jaimie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a good review for me - alongside some new information and encouragement - of what a God-honoring wife looks like. While I didn't care for Dillow's overall writing style (It read to me like "Do these 6 things, and voila! You're golden!"), there was nothing in the book that I actively disagreed with or thought wasn't in accordance with sound doctrine. I would categorize this book as primarily practical (though Christian), but not exactly spiritual. What I mean by that is Dillow _focuses_ on pragmatic suggestions. She certainly grounds everything on the finished work of Christ, in which our works could never save us, but "Creative Counterpart" talks a lot about works that might flow from the heart of a woman wanting to please God in her marriage. Take it as such and "Voila! You're golden." :p

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has some very good advice sprinkled throughout, mixed with religious stories as a background. However, the way the author writes is at times cringey. "My husband fell over backwards and hit his head on the coffee table when he saw me!" Sure he did. It's far too animated and cheesy, but good advice throughout nevertheless!

[Jana · Rating 2 out of 5]

I picked up this book again- originally published in 1977- seeking some counsel from an older Christian woman who has also ministered alongside her husband overseas. I realize Linda Dillow sort of “pioneered” this subject (challenging Christian wives and mothers) decades ago and her perspectives and insights are sometimes a bit dated, which is one reason why I would not highly recommend the book today. I know that in decades past God really used this book to challenge women and to transformed marriages and families. There were things I took away that challenged and inspired me.
However, for a woman who has sexual abuse in her history or who is already guilt-ridden in her marriage, this may not be the best book to read. I feel like there are just so many complexities related to intimacy in marriage, and approaching just women or just men when it is such a two-sided thing is difficult and often counterproductive. I felt that subject was oversimplified in the book.
After reading this I was also left unsatisfied with regards to the subject of prioritizing (“God first, then marriage, then children, then kids, self, community”, etc.).
And she also touched on the subject of self-care, but I have a lot of questions still.

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

While I may disagree with Linda Dillow on some points of theology (for example: a husband's headship being merely pragmatic; she uses the word "arbitrary"), overall, I found her to be a mother in the faith. One who would point me in the way of godliness. As I read her book, I found myself reminded that my standing before God is on the basis of Christ's work not mine (that is the starting point for whom I am to be) and also directed to follow God who never fails despite my circumstances, my spouse, and myself.

Recommended.

[Brynna King · Rating 1 out of 5]

There are certainly many things I did not agree with in this book. I did appreciate the helpful tips on structuring your day and setting priorities. Overall though would not recommend as it does not leave room for the gray areas in marriage and instead looks at them as fairly cookie cutter/black and white and places undue and unfair emphasis on the wife performing and keeping her husband from immorality vs. it being a man’s choice to sin. This book was also written in the 70’s so take that for what it’s worth.

[Laura Sharp · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is another book that I plan on re-reading through the years. Our Bible study group went through it last Spring and it has been such a blessing to me, my marriage and my family! She offers so many ideas that our not too hard to implement that easily give you the mind frame you want, drawing your relationship with Christ closer everyday!

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is starting to show its age. It primarily does this by assuming all married women reading it are unemployed, stay-at-home moms, which is not as common as it used to be in the 21st century. However, when it deals with Biblical concepts (which don't change with the centuries), it can be helpful.

[Rye Thomasdatter · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really loved the second half of this book. I laughed when I may have had to look up the actor for the chapter "My Own Robert Redford" but the tendencies and temptations in marriage outlined in this text have not changed! I won't go on to her other publications for theological reasons. But this had some fun and practical advice.

[Edna Dennis · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very sweet walk through Titus 2 and biblical femininity & role of a woman in marriage. I read this book a few months before getting married and it constantly pointed me back to Scripture and what God desires in marriage.

[Melissa (So Behind) · Rating 1 out of 5]

I will never write a positive review about a book that makes it the wife's responsibility to keep her husband from infidelity. I also do not believe my husband is the "head partner" in our relationship.
Into the trash.

[Shannon.walker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such Biblical wisdom with enough real life stories and practical application to Keep my attention! Loved it

[Cara · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book changed my life. Read it.

[Rachel Schultz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Better than many, but with error

[DD · Rating 3 out of 5]

Buen libro, me dejó las 3 A que debe tener un esposo. Autoridad, Admiración, Aceptación.

[Ceci · Rating 4 out of 5]

2024: 4/5

[raccoon reader · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is somewhat similar to other books I've read though she puts more emphasis on the creative role a wife can play in building up her husband (and her potential to tear him down). I don't like how often she'll drift into the speaking as though a stay at home mom/wife is the only/best kind there is. This offends me personally. Despite this, the book doesn't overly emphasize these type of women and she does try hard to include all types of working women and their own struggles as wives. There are lots of great bible verses highlighted in this book that can apply to all types of situations. They were a pleasure to rediscover again. I printed up Phil 4:11-13 to put over my desk. Currently I'm applying it to my own situation that has nothing to do (I hope lol) with the happiness of my marriage, but rather lower back pain I have begun to re-suffer. I have no pain meds and have a doctors appointment scheduled but I know the pain I will have to tolerate and endure until next week will be almost impossible on a day to day basis. I'm hoping this verse will help! Overall I'd recommend this book to Christian wives or to wives who are open to the suggestions of other religions on how to be a more supportive mate.

[Sarah Clark · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of my favorite books to read to help me remember that being a wife and woman of God is so critical in a family. I do not know how many times I have read it, but each time I do it spurs me on to improve myself, my walk with God, and improve my relationship with my husband. Proverbs 31 is my favorite passage and such a great tool to keeping my priorities straight, and I love how Linda teaches with it. I also enjoyed the study at the end. I would recommend this to any Christian woman who feels pulled in all directions and looking for a change in herself and her situation. Although I would warn that as a woman in my 20's, I could see some women would reject some of what Linda has to say in light of the changes in soceity regarding women. However, she backs it up with Scripture and a sincere heart. Writing this review has made me want to read it again!

[Cynthia Tam · Rating 4 out of 5]

I just finished reading this as part of a ladies Bible study. The book was originally published in the 1970's. It could do with some updating in a few chapters.

Otherwise, there way the book was written and the way the scripture was presented were very well done. I've never seen the Proverbs 31 woman presented in a way of such strength before.

I like also how realistic she is at the end. Telling the reader not to expect perfection it's a process.

If you're open to personal growth in the way you do things or perhaps you didn't have the Cleaver experience growing up and want some guidance this is a good resouce to start with, particularly if you can read it with a friend and discuss the questions at the end or as part of a Bible study group.

[Kameron · Rating 3 out of 5]

Picked up this book from our church donation shelf and found some great reminders and encouragement as I try to be the wife and mother God has called me to be. She has very practical advice and lots of Scripture references, which are very helpful. This was the 1983 revised version, so it was a bit dated. I'm sure the newer 2003 version is more up-to-date. The only thing I didn't care for too much was some of her cheesy comments and personal stories, and also her sarcastic comment in reference to Susana Wesley homeschooling her children ("Wouldn't that be fun?").

When I mentioned that I was reading this book to my mom, she told me this was the Bible study she was doing in 1977 when she was pregnant with me! Amazing!

[Lyree · Rating 2 out of 5]

So far, not understanding where I fit in, as a woman who works outside the home as well as inside it, and am still a wife and mother, although my life does not revolve soley around my husband. I will not change for a flawed human being, not to please him, or to merely service him. I will change for God and God alone. People fail. We all do. Mother or father, husband or wife, working outside and/or inside the home. We are human. I think the greatest thing to do is to follow Christ. I know that it is a calling for me to be in the corporate workplace. It isn't for everyone, just as staying at home full time isn't for everyone. Every family is different, because God made us all unique. You and your husband have to figure out what God wants for your marriage, your union, and your family.

[Mandy J. Hoffman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Creative Counterpart is a thorough, yet easy to read, book about the topic of being a wife and mother that brings glory to God. Linda Dillow has captured the complexity of living out the rolls God has placed us in with a simple format and explanation. This book will encourage and exhort you as a wife or wife and mother. While she does talk about our roll of being a mother, the majority of the book is about the position of wife. I highly recommend this book if you are married or soon to be married. My favorite quote from this book is "Are you willing to suffer in order to bring about healing in the life of your husband?" A powerful and challenging thought.

[Emmie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was required for my current SWI class, Marriage and Family. I was pleasantly surprised by this book as it was very straightforward and practical. I cannot say it is the best marriage book I have read, but I have enjoyed hearing from her on how to be a Godly woman, wife and mother. Scripture was the focus, but it included practical application of the Scripture. I wish I could remember better what all I read, but I know that generally speaking I agreed with most of it.

I would give this 4.5 stars, but they will not let me to half stars on the rating.

[Ramyasree D · Rating 2 out of 5]

I'm not a Christian nor wanting to be one. in such case many parts of the book are too abstract for me to understand and digest. I liked the priorities part of it. but I have seen my mom putting herself low in the priority which resulted in serious health issues. so I convinced her to keep herself up. and I follow the same I believe if I'm healthy I can take care of my husband and home better.
but I loved the time table part. which I often fail to follow but was able to follow which was given by her.

[Kendra · Rating 2 out of 5]

While Dillow gives good, creative ideas for improving your marriage, the book does tend to misuse some scriptures in a few places, especially Song of Solomon. Additionally, the example stories seem to give the idea that submission to your husband (while the right thing to do) solves all marital problems (i.e. making your philandering husband faithful or helping you achieve orgasm), which is not realistic. Some good tips on attitudes about sex and responding to insults though.

[Jodi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book about reminding me how to a good wife to my husband while being faithful to God. I need to be kind and make my husband know he is appreciated - sometimes after being married for 15 years, I know we can take each other for granted! I am so glad I got to be part of a wonderful study group with a great bunch of ladies for this book.