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All Men Are Jerks *Until Proven Otherwise: Take Charge of How Men Treat You!
Men Really Can Be Jerks**But Only If You Let Them.Like millions of women, Daylle Deanna Schwartz had a habit of falling for jerks--until she had enough. This cycle wasn't going to change until she made a change herself. And now in this anniversary edition of her groundbreaking relationship book, she shows you how to do the same.This book tells it like it is. The only person who can make you happy is you, and the only person who can change a guy is himself. It's time to take control and make him prove he's not a jerk, or move on. As a relationship expert and self-empowerment counselor, Daylle's guidance will motivate you to develop a satisfying, healthy relationship, without playing games.With fresh insight and new stories throughout, this updated edition of All Men Are Jerks - Until Proven Otherwise makes your happiness your first priority. Men can act like real jerks, but complaining about them won't get you anywhere. It's time to take control of how men treat you--and get the love you deserve!
- GenresSelf Help
304 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 1, 1998
34 people are currently reading
193 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews
December 11, 2023
I needed this book and others like it after my marriage fell apart. Looking at it now, I can only shake my head at how lost and desperate and sad I was because I am, thankfully, in a much better place now.
I no longer feel the need to keep this book on my shelf anymore. It’s been decades, though truth be told I completely forgot I had this book (I have lots of books hiding behind other books, no room for everything I have, so this one got lost behind a stack of other books. I’m purging and that’s how I finally came across it this late in the game).
I am grateful to this book for helping me past a hard time. I am going to pass it on and hope it will help someone else. It’s dated, but the information is still useful. This is also geared towards women dating men, so it probably won’t be helpful to everyone.
Yes, the title does sound man hating, but it’s more a reminder for the women to not take men at face value. I was one to always see the best in people, I still do, but in my younger days, I didn’t also realize that isn’t all to a person, male or female. We are all human and all have our strong and weak sides, good and bad.
3, this helped me when I needed it and I wish nothing but positive for you and any relationship you choose, stars.
I no longer feel the need to keep this book on my shelf anymore. It’s been decades, though truth be told I completely forgot I had this book (I have lots of books hiding behind other books, no room for everything I have, so this one got lost behind a stack of other books. I’m purging and that’s how I finally came across it this late in the game).
I am grateful to this book for helping me past a hard time. I am going to pass it on and hope it will help someone else. It’s dated, but the information is still useful. This is also geared towards women dating men, so it probably won’t be helpful to everyone.
Yes, the title does sound man hating, but it’s more a reminder for the women to not take men at face value. I was one to always see the best in people, I still do, but in my younger days, I didn’t also realize that isn’t all to a person, male or female. We are all human and all have our strong and weak sides, good and bad.
3, this helped me when I needed it and I wish nothing but positive for you and any relationship you choose, stars.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 11, 2013
This is what I expected....saying men are manipulators and we should not allow ourselves to be taken over by our need to have a man in our lives. We should depend on ourselves for happiness. I did like the parts about loving oneself and how it creates better self esteem. Other than that nothing special.
October 23, 2020
This book is about how woman can respond to control what in and out from her life. The writer persuade women to own their life. Generally, this book is divided into 3 parts, I would prefer readers to read part 1 and 3. In my way of living, part 2 is not relatable for me and our situation as we get married first to do sexual intercourse.
I would like to highlight some points which are bitter truth:
1.Women likes arrogant people who treat them like crap, hence the nice guy try very hard to be a bastard to attract.
2.Men lie because women can't stand the truth. Women tend to change things according to her way.
3.Even if he has a good heart, you shouldn't pay for his problems.
4.Men are not stupid, they know they hurt you. Jerks will play with your guilt and make you feel bad for leaving. In this case, self-love is your defense.
5.Jerks leave the signs that they are jerks everywhere but you brush it off.
I am not asking women to hate guys but it is important to acknowledge destructive relationship sign in order to save yourself. Of course, the key is communication and understanding each other. I believe strong woman attract strong and vice versa.
How to survive? First of all own your life, make a life. Be someone first, then you can share your life. The problem with victim of domestic violence abuse is they can't run away because they have nothing, they are not 'someone' outside the house. Hence it is easier to stay.
The writer also encourage self love. Since we were kid, we were teach to love other people, nature and country but slightly no one teach us how to love ourselves. Eventually 'no' from others teach us how to accept our imperfections. If we master intrapersonal relationship, everything will be easier. to achieve.
I would like to highlight some points which are bitter truth:
1.Women likes arrogant people who treat them like crap, hence the nice guy try very hard to be a bastard to attract.
2.Men lie because women can't stand the truth. Women tend to change things according to her way.
3.Even if he has a good heart, you shouldn't pay for his problems.
4.Men are not stupid, they know they hurt you. Jerks will play with your guilt and make you feel bad for leaving. In this case, self-love is your defense.
5.Jerks leave the signs that they are jerks everywhere but you brush it off.
I am not asking women to hate guys but it is important to acknowledge destructive relationship sign in order to save yourself. Of course, the key is communication and understanding each other. I believe strong woman attract strong and vice versa.
How to survive? First of all own your life, make a life. Be someone first, then you can share your life. The problem with victim of domestic violence abuse is they can't run away because they have nothing, they are not 'someone' outside the house. Hence it is easier to stay.
The writer also encourage self love. Since we were kid, we were teach to love other people, nature and country but slightly no one teach us how to love ourselves. Eventually 'no' from others teach us how to accept our imperfections. If we master intrapersonal relationship, everything will be easier. to achieve.
July 25, 2020
Trang Tâm lý học tội phạm dịch cuốn này. Mình thấy tựa đề thú vị nên đọc thôi.
Sách viết tạm. Chương 14, 15 khá thú vị ; mấy chương đó chỉ cách làm sao thao túng đàn ông. Phần còn lại chán, không có gì đặc biệt.
Sách viết tạm. Chương 14, 15 khá thú vị ; mấy chương đó chỉ cách làm sao thao túng đàn ông. Phần còn lại chán, không có gì đặc biệt.
November 2, 2020
*5* Even I'm in a relationship with a awesome guy, I still have to talk myself "All men are Jerks - Untill proven otherwise" nonstoppedly.
Thank you for a great book which has leaded me in right way.
Thank you for a great book which has leaded me in right way.
January 22, 2022
According to then book and my knowledge, the key is: Love yourself and make it priority. Do what you love and enjoy it completely. Your happiness, calmness and tranquility are the most important. They depends on your choice.
June 4, 2023
Good book
February 22, 2025
Tất cả đàn ông đều tồi cho đến khi chứng minh được điều ngược lại. Cuốn sách mà phụ nữ nên đọc để hiểu hơn về tình yêu, về sự độc lập, để có thể xây dựng hạnh phúc từ ben trong.
March 6, 2017
Funny rendition of the advice you might read from Dr. Phil. I read this book over 15 years ago and the advice is for dealing with men in all walks of life, I.e. your boss, coworker, neighbor, mechanic, doctor, etc. I'm revisiting chapter seventeen. I highly recommend this book for young women.
December 19, 2024
The title of the book is a bit extreme sounding, but in practice it's good advice to live by. A lot of women end up making a lot of excuses for men that don't actually care about them. And while we can hypothesize about why, we would all do a little better to just be a little more cautious.
At the time I read this in the past I always felt it was actually a pragmatic aproach to not letting romantic notions get you over committed to a relationship.
Now that I'm in my 40s I would have a lot to add about what a healthy relationship is. However, this pook has a perspective worth considering that can run counter to the messages we often get about dating. So keeping it in mind could help you have a more well rounded perspective.
And I can say, the advice worked pretty well for me (even if I didn't need it because I've always been cautious). I got happily married to a not-jerk. So yeah, I like this book. ;)
At the time I read this in the past I always felt it was actually a pragmatic aproach to not letting romantic notions get you over committed to a relationship.
Now that I'm in my 40s I would have a lot to add about what a healthy relationship is. However, this pook has a perspective worth considering that can run counter to the messages we often get about dating. So keeping it in mind could help you have a more well rounded perspective.
And I can say, the advice worked pretty well for me (even if I didn't need it because I've always been cautious). I got happily married to a not-jerk. So yeah, I like this book. ;)
August 16, 2018
Self-help book to not just understand men, but to understand how our behavior sometimes enables men to be jerks, and that we need to love ourselves and make ourselves happy rather than depend on a man to do those things for us. Recognized a lot of the mistakes I've made in past relationships! Author instructs readers to make a list of what you'd change about yourself and include anything such as being late or messy. Then, choose one to tackle at a time. Also recommended keeping a list of things you like about yourself and add to it, including compliments.
April 27, 2015
I read this book several years ago but it didn't resonate with me then. After going through a traumatic relationship the last 2 years I figured it was time for me to pick it up again and I am so glad I did, because I could resonate this time and see how I was doing things and how he was doing things and treated me, well not so nicely. It makes you realize that you are the most important person and only you needs to take care of you and as women we can do it! Be autonomous. Great book, lots of outside stories given and so much more. Must read if you devalue yourself.
April 3, 2015
Most of these type books employ a bit of humour, & as is the case the majority of the time, there is a grain of truth behind every piece of humour.
The most important bit of knowledge in this book:
If a man does not make plans to see you by the end of the date, he does not really plan on seeing you again.
The most important bit of knowledge in this book:
If a man does not make plans to see you by the end of the date, he does not really plan on seeing you again.
May 26, 2008
There are things that people don't get, that I get, that people are all like "I don't get that." But this book: gets it. Once I was at this party and this guy thought he was all... and then I acted all, like... and then... and then...
Anyway, I've never read this book but it's completely how I feel about stuff. And anyway, I was like... Youdontevenknow!
Anyway, I've never read this book but it's completely how I feel about stuff. And anyway, I was like... Youdontevenknow!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 16, 2011
A MUST READ for any female trying to have a relationship with any man. And should be REQUIRED READING for any girl starting to date. NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. I paid $6.95 for this book...get yourself a copy because I'm keeping mine.
August 28, 2014
This book rocks! I think it has almost all of the jerks I have been with and married to one at one time. The majority of this book is me, which is a shame to say, but it is what it is! Thank you to the author for such a great book!
May 23, 2007
Think you know how a man thinks? Think again! We need to learn to be more like them! This is a great read!
September 16, 2007
a must-read for every girl who has a penchant for falling easily for the wrong type of guys...like myself. :D
June 6, 2008
I love how my mom got me this book in high school....
January 12, 2009
bagus banget! i like what i read in this book. It answers many questions about relationship, about how women values it, and how to view the values in fresh perspectives.
September 23, 2011
Very self empowering! Good read.
June 19, 2013
Ah-Ha!!! Found the book very clarifying and illuminating.
August 28, 2014
I really liked this book. Even though I've been in a relationship for years I learned better ways to communicate . This book was helpful.
September 22, 2015
Read it in high school, but I remember liking it
Read
September 25, 2011..a great book for us girls..a must have,must read book..
August 20, 2012
Fun read.
April 30, 2017
Men have been running women into the ground for centuries so why is it wrong for us to get a bit of our own back surely It's no different to seeing any bully get what's coming to them surely they deserve it?... no not really because let's face it we need each other,one gender without the other means humanity would fail to function and the species would grind to a halt. We should all be respected and men shouldn't have to incessantly prove to us that they are not the enemy. This book approach is too simplistic to truly assist readers in examining their unhelpful patterns of behaviour with unsuitable men.Yes I know Im generalizing but many/most women in these disastrous relationships have been hurt by a man usually their father.They come from broken homes,had emotionally distant fathers,had little/no meaningful contact with their fathers-this then causes them to to make poor relationship choices.The greatest impact on a woman's romantic choices is how her father related to her in childhood.
A daughter's romantic choices will be tainted by the way her father treated her whether she likes it or not. Certain behaviours on his part will trigger her behaviours.Women from fatherless families develop more promiscuous attitudes and experience difficulty in forming or maintaining romantic relationships...These behavioral patterns are carried with them throughout their lives and are usually the cause of their unfulfilling relationships with men.Without a precise delineation of the problem,it becomes a perpetual negative loop and vicious circle:she keeps trying to stop it, but because she isn't working at the real root of the problem it continually re-emerges therefore *mysteriously* she keeps getting involved with these so called "jerks"...If a woman is experiencing difficulty maintaining relationships with men its worth examining the impact of the father daughter relationship on her storyline - it shifts the focus away from blaming the 'jerk'.
Victim consciousness is not something that is suddenly acquired,it is a habituated perception based on childhood victimization. Women who engross themselves in victim consciousness due to an installed wound weakness,often go from relationship to relationship experiencing continual abuse.When a child is traumatised they are wounded and that wound leaves a weakness in the system,it's like an imprint,that imprint is similar to a keyhole that allows other abuser types to come along and use their abusive key to open the programme and exploit that person.
This book is limited in its helpfulness due to the fact it,on a subliminal level,encourages women to see themselves as victimized,unfortunately when a person identifies and links herself into a victimization schema (Schwartz encourages women to have their "guard up" constantly) the more likely she is to feel victimized because she ends up relying on an activated victim schema to guide relationship expectations and behaviours.
A daughter's romantic choices will be tainted by the way her father treated her whether she likes it or not. Certain behaviours on his part will trigger her behaviours.Women from fatherless families develop more promiscuous attitudes and experience difficulty in forming or maintaining romantic relationships...These behavioral patterns are carried with them throughout their lives and are usually the cause of their unfulfilling relationships with men.Without a precise delineation of the problem,it becomes a perpetual negative loop and vicious circle:she keeps trying to stop it, but because she isn't working at the real root of the problem it continually re-emerges therefore *mysteriously* she keeps getting involved with these so called "jerks"...If a woman is experiencing difficulty maintaining relationships with men its worth examining the impact of the father daughter relationship on her storyline - it shifts the focus away from blaming the 'jerk'.
Victim consciousness is not something that is suddenly acquired,it is a habituated perception based on childhood victimization. Women who engross themselves in victim consciousness due to an installed wound weakness,often go from relationship to relationship experiencing continual abuse.When a child is traumatised they are wounded and that wound leaves a weakness in the system,it's like an imprint,that imprint is similar to a keyhole that allows other abuser types to come along and use their abusive key to open the programme and exploit that person.
This book is limited in its helpfulness due to the fact it,on a subliminal level,encourages women to see themselves as victimized,unfortunately when a person identifies and links herself into a victimization schema (Schwartz encourages women to have their "guard up" constantly) the more likely she is to feel victimized because she ends up relying on an activated victim schema to guide relationship expectations and behaviours.
Displaying 1 - 27 of 27 reviews