Gorgeous

by Paul Rudnick

Inner beauty wants out.

When eighteen-year-old Becky Randle’s mother dies, she’s summoned from her Missouri trailer park to meet Tom Kelly, the world’s top designer. He makes her an impossible offer: He’ll create three dresses to transform Becky from a nothing special girl into the most beautiful woman who ever lived.

Becky thinks Tom is a lunatic, or that he’s producing a hidden camera show called World’s Most Gullible Poor People. But she accepts, and she’s remade as Rebecca. When Becky looks in the mirror, she sees herself ? an awkward mess of split ends and cankles. But when anyone else looks at Becky, they see pure five-alarm hotness.

Soon Rebecca is on the cover of Vogue, the new Hollywood darling, and dating celebrities. Then Becky meets Prince Gregory, heir to the British throne, and everything starts to crumble. Because Rebecca aside, Becky loves him. But to love her back, Gregory would have to look past the blinding Rebecca to see the real girl inside. And Becky knows there’s not enough magic in the world.

A screamingly defiant, hugely naughty, and impossibly fun free fall past the cat walks, the red carpets, and even the halls of Buckingham Palace, Gorgeous does the impossible: It makes you see yourself clearly for the first time.

Genres: Young Adult, Fantasy, Romance, Fiction, Contemporary, Humor, Paranormal

320 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 30, 2013

Reviews

[jv poore · Rating 4 out of 5]

What an odd little duck this is. I confess that, as I was reading it, I would occasionally stop and ask myself how I would write a review about it. Frankly, I don’t recall reading anything quite like this. Before I go too far; I love unique and weird, so all aforementioned and following descriptions are meant as compliments, not complaints.

First, this is not a book that “pulled me in”. Rather, there seemed to be a deliberate attempt to keep the reader on the outside, looking in; very cool for this particular story. The impossible happens often, without explanation or apology. Our main character, Becky/Rebecca, seems open to it, so it was easy for this reader to accept the oddities as well. It was actually quite refreshing to simply acknowledge and accept, instead of grappling with a pseudo-explanation as to how these bizarre things were taking place. I enjoyed this part of the book tremendously.

Next, we have the story-line. Becky’s life, nothing to be particularly proud of, is shattered by the death of her mother. Knowing that she has nowhere to go and no one to turn to, Becky stumbles upon a name and phone number hidden away. Enter Tom Kelly, world-famous designer, entrepreneur and all-around embodiment of fame. He quickly promises Becky that she will become “the most beautiful person in the world”, with minimal catches. Having nothing to lose, she agrees to give it a shot.

Now, we have a couple of things going on. One being, how will Becky, nee Rebecca, handle the beauty, fame, and adoration; but, most importantly, will it improve her life? Two, why is Tom Kelly doing this? Clearly, not out of the kindness of his heart---he doesn’t appear to have one. Soon, true love follows. Just as Rebecca goes for the gold, Tom Kelly cleanly jerks the rug out from under her. Bye-bye beauty, hello Becky….deal with that!

Mr. Rudnick’s characters are so very real that this reader tended to keep them at arm’s length, rather than blissfully enveloping them and accepting their enviable perfection. He details a full-blown adult tantrum beautifully. We’ve all had those moments when we are absolutely livid, yet the harshest derogatory term that comes to mind is “fart-face”. The muttered snide comments are witty and biting, while the professions of love are sweetly clumsy.

I enjoyed this quirky, groovy little book and I am excited to read more by Mr. Rudnick.

This review was originally written for Buried Under Books Blog.

[Shoshana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rating: 3.5. Or 4. Or 2. I DON'T KNOW.

This was the most confusing reading experience EVER. EV. ER.

I'm pretty sure whatever editorial team took on this book, they completely missed the first forty or so pages. I barely made it through them: the voice is terrible, the writing is terrible, the dialogue is terrible - reading it made my eyes want to vomit. Everything was over-described. Whenever the MC, Becky, entered a room we got a laundry list of every piece of furniture, down to its make, model, and material. This was told in the first-person, so why did Becky know that such-and-such was made of golden pear wood? I DON'T KNOW, BUT SHE DID.

But I soldiered on! Mostly because of the ridiculous premise; I wanted to see how ridiculous this shit would get. And boy, did it get ridiculous. Dwarves dancing on tables! ...Okay, I almost shut the book right then.

But then! But then! She's on a private jet with an Aaron Carter/Justin Bieber/Justin Timberlake-type (pick your generation of choice), having ended up there by jumping on his motorcycle with no exchange of conversation, and I start to wonder: could this be bordering on satire? Surely that is the only way Rudnick can justify such outlandishness. And then Cartberlake comes out with his declaration, "I'm gay,"and I loved every minute that followed. Except maybe the movie director jizzing his pants. Really, Rudnick?

Suffice to say, it only got better and by the end I was erupting into maniacal laughter every few pages, scaring my co-worker, and muttering "bitch-hole" to myself.

I have never known a book that transforms so utterly from page 1 to page last. Yes, some consistency would have been nice - I came perilously close to abandoning "Gorgeous" many times in the first fifty pages, and had I done so, I would have missed out on the genius that is Sheila the Corgi. I will not defend this book's beginning, as it is utter shite, but by God, did it improve. Even when it got better, it KEPT GETTING EVEN BETTER. That or it progressively rotted my brain into insanity. Which, I'll admit, is a possibility.

[Mariana Zapata · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can name the number of books that make me laugh out loud on one hand. Maybe even on just two or three fingers to be specific. But THIS BOOK. My stomach hurt throughout so many parts of it.

When I first saw it, I was a little apprehensive about the concept but I said, "Okay." It was seven thirty in the morning when I put the book down and eleven that same morning when I woke up and picked it back up for the next three hours.

There's a lot of things I loved about it. Becky was funny, and likable, and seemed like a real person. She was compassionate, and I just enjoyed everything about her. She wasn't perfect but that's what I loved. And then there was Gregory. Freaking Prince Gregory. His sarcasm...his everything... I loved the dynamic and banter between the two of them.

I also enjoyed that this wasn't as incredibly 'preach-y' as I thought it'd be and the dialogue was perfect for the characters. Do you have any idea how much it annoys me when authors write characters with dialogue that is completely unreal for their age and situation? A lot, let me tell you.

Anyway, my ultimate highlight was Rocher. Oh, Rocher. I think I reread her crawling on the floor whispering like a demon about ten times.

Mr. Rudnick, I will be stalking you as soon as I hit the save button on this. Thank you for an excellent novel.

[Kaethe · Rating 5 out of 5]

20 May 2014

I've been a Rudnick fan since, let's say 1989 when his last novel, I'll Take It was published (in the meantime I've been forced to keep up with his script writing). I love this guy. I have no idea how he manages to come out of nowhere with a Cinderella story featuring a dull teenaged trailer girl from Missouri and make it so perfect. Seriously: how did he get poverty so well? And middle America? Sure, I'm not at all surprised that he nails movie-making, and the empire of a Calvin Klein/Ralph Lauren-type mogul. But I never expected him to move me with a visit by royalty to a military base Afghanistan. Or with Becky's grief for her mother. Or with her abiding love for her best-friend Rocher.

So, the Disney fantasy is all over the place: there are amazing dresses, and vast hotel suites, and jetting around the world, and jewelry, and glamor galore. But that half of the book is just an introduction for Becky into the world of the 1%. She knows she doesn't belong there, even though she's inhabiting the body of the most beautiful woman in the world. And even though Becky doesn't have the courage to really embrace the life she's be given, she is paying attention: she learns, she grows, and she becomes stronger.

Recommended to fans of Beauty Queens. Like Bray, Rudnick is able to acknowledge the privileges of beauty and wealth, without losing sight of how those privileges can blind people to the suffering of others. And also, there is righteous ass-kicking. Oh, and bonus stars for writing a princess story without pink or a tiara.

Special bonus shout-out for the best depiction of the Queen since The Uncommon Reader. Yeah, my real rating is nine out of five stars. If I give it more I'll have to steal them from some other book, and that seems way harsh.

***

20 April 2023

Same, really. Loved the corgi scene, which I forgot to mention before. They earn another star, so 10 out of five.

Library copy.

[M.E. Welman (Paez) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Spoilers ahead and I want to say I haven't enjoyed a book so very much in such a long time.

I was immediately grabbed by Mr. Rudnick's first paragraph and could not put the book down until I finished it--just now. The words flew off the page; the descriptions, characterizations (Aimee and Suzanne were so spot on) and the fact that I'm willingly being taken on an improbable ride and buying into it page after page, just made me love this book that much more.

For those of you old enough to remember Premiere magazine, Mr. Rudnick wrote the film reviews for Premiere under the name of Libby Gelman-Waxner. Go Google it, they were hysterical.

I understand that Scholastic is marketing the book as YA and there are many YA elements to it (Becky Randle does become the Queen of England), but it's also a tale for adults. From the duality of our personalities to how others see us, the dissection of beauty, sexuality and the trappings of wealth and power, Mr. Rudnick covers it all in a way that is never preachy or boring--far from it. I was laughing, thinking and he even had me crying at the end.

I received a free copy of this book from Scholastic.

[Nasty Lady MJ · Rating 1 out of 5]

Really 1.5 stars. To see full review click here.

This book barely gets a regular format review.

That's how disappointing it is.

I was able to find one, one redeeming feature and that was the idea of the book. Which it failed epically on.

Sigh.

So yeah, let's get started.

I'll start with characters because if you have lousy characters, more often than not you'll have a lousy book. And boy is our main character a piece of work. I just....I just didn't like her.

It's not like she was Zoey Redbird offensive or anything, but it was like a constant self pity fest. And I thought she was incredibly shallow.

And yes, I know the summary was sort of shallow, but I though tthere would be a bit more to the story and I thought at the very least she wouldn't be calling a whole country full of people ugly.

That's right, if you're British you're ugly.

Polarize your audience much?

I honestly think that Rudnick thought this was being cute or satirical like it was some sort of running joke, but it just came off as annoying and eye rolling worthy to me. Much like the rest of the book.

Because really if you get down to it that's what the problem with this book was, it takes itself way too seriously. It thinks its cute and funny when its not and instead of coming across like witty social commentary like I think it's trying to, it comes off as annoying.

Case in point, throughout the book Rudnick tries to take a tongue and cheek tone on Hollywood, a la Spoiled. However, where that book succeeded this book failed, because it just came off as mean.

Yes, I said mean because there's no other way to describe it, especially when we get own to body image issues.

If you read my reviews, you probably know that one of my major pet peeves in the YA world (or book world in general) is body image. While I'll be the first to admit that I do enjoy a good old fashion makeover scene (if done right), most of the time these scenes just make me cringe. And honestly, Gorgeous was like one of these scenes made into an entire book.

I freaking kid you not.

When I DNF'd the book Becky still hadn't received two of her dresses yet. Not that I cared because I had enough of Becky.

From what I saw of this book there are two types of people 1) model pretty and 2) fugly. I freaking kid you not. That's how Becky describes herself which to me is ridiculous. And even if she was hideous, which I doubt, I don't understand why it's so impossible to create a YA heroine that's average looking (this could extend to the YA hero as well, since let's face most teenage guys are not six feet something and ripped). Is that difficult to say that little Mary Sue might not wear a size triple zero and poses for Vogue, but at the same time doesn't need drastic plastic surgery? What concerns me about this most of all is that preteens and teenage girls are reading this. I know that a lot of these kids are mature enough to see past this bull shit, but if you're just a smidgen insecure this book is just going to amp up these insecurities. Case in point, I felt hideous when I was reading this and I don't consider myself to be an unattractive person. This book just makes you feel bad about yourself unless you're, well, Rebecca.

I hated Rebecca and what she was supposed to represent. Instead of calling Rebecca the most beautiful woman in the world, she should've been referred to as the most shallow woman in the world. There is no other way to describe such a character. Besides the whole British people are ugly thing, she decides to marry this guy (who's a prince) just becuase she thinks she's pretty enough to be a princess.

And yes, I know, satire. But how many times can you use that as an excuse.

I've read allegorical and satirical work, I was an English major after all. This is not how a good allegory or satire is written. This is a piece of shit that tries to hide its shittiness by calling itself a satirical piece of work. No, it's not satire. It's offensive.

I had to wonder what makes this NOT a satire. Is it just the fact the jokes work, there's horrible characters, and the plot doesn't make sense (seriously, half way through the book I still had no clue how Tom Kelly was doing any of this an dI really didn't care), was it the fact random characters would show up and leave? I have no idea and I don't care.

That's probably the worst thing I have to say about this book, despite its faults I just didn't care. I'm writing this review right now and even though there were numerous problems and I have some rage filled moments, I know that I'm just going to forget about this one probably within two weeks time.

I would dare say, I'd feel sorry for it if it didn't make me so offended. A lot of the problems were some glaring obvious and the attempt to being "literary" were so sad that I just wanted to give this book a pat on the back. Then it would just do something stupid and, well, I wanted to kick its ass.


Best Feature: Concept. I liked the whole idea of this story, but this is one of those cases where the execution fell flat. Occasionally, there would be a decent line or two. But then....well, then something offensive or eye roll worthy would be said and...well, this is the best feature and this had a decent concept.

Worst Feature: This book thinks rather highly of itself. There's just a stuffy condescending tone about it. It reminds me of one of those hipsters I see when I study at Starbucks. You know, the ones who look down at people who don't eat all organic or like to hear the occasional pop tune because pop can be fun. In other words, an undergrad creative writing major who looks down at genre fiction and only writes fiction about the three Ds (death, depression, and destitution). That's the feeling I got from this book and God knows being pretentious did this book no favors at all. I feel like if the I'm so smart and you know it shit was cut a bit, I would've enjoyed this a lot more. Does that make any sense?

Appropriateness: Ha! Yeah. Sure. From detailed descriptions of burn victims, talk about sexual situations and promiscuity, bad body image issues, teen drinking, and f bombs here and there. This one's hardly appropriate. Honestly, I didn't even know why they classified this one as YA. I think it really would've done better being viewed as adult fiction.

[Jasprit · Rating 3 out of 5]

Gorgeous was a strange book, overall I did enjoy it, but I can’t exactly say that I loved it. There were parts that I adored and parts which had me utterly baffled, hopefully I can put my finger on what I mean in my review because I feel as if I’m on a bit of a see-saw.

When Becky’s mum dies, she makes her promise that she will say yes. Becky is heartbroken over the loss of her mum but also baffled by what her promise means, until eventually she finds out. She’s left a number by her mum and immediately she’d plucked from normal Becky Randle from East Trawley to top super model for Tom Kelly Rebecca Randle. Within the first few weeks she’s making movies with heart throb Jate Mallow and covering Vogue magazine. But she doesn’t get how Tom did it, he designed her one beautiful red dress and it changed her dramatically, Becky’s more confident than she’s ever been, but her features have also changed within an instance, she’s hardly recognisable as Becky Randle, but super imposes as a glamorous model. What exactly has Tom Kelly done? And what are the repercussions? Becky can’t just expect this all for free can she?

Everything happened so suddenly for Becky that I did not understand anything either. Becky did deserve her time in the limelight she’d been living 17 years in a trailer with her mother who was eating herself away. But what I wanted to know was why Tom Kelly picked Becky amongst millions and how did he work his magic? Some of the explanations behind Becky’s big change I wasn’t expecting, but one of the big surprises I didn’t really get the purpose of, even when I think about it weeks after finishing Gorgeous I’m still confused about.

Despite my qualms about the mystery, there were some decent secondary characters which made this book for me; Rocher and Prince Gregory. What I liked about both of the characters was that they weren’t afraid to say what they thought. I definitely prefer characters that get to the point instead of faffing about. Also despite following a dark shady path, the story is laced with some nice humorous scenes along the way; One of my favourites Rocher’s kerfuffle with Lady Jessalyn at Ascot.

At times I did feel like giving up on Gorgeous as there were passages which were so rambly, descriptions of people could go on for a bit, which at times I did find unnecessary. But I think the ending to Gorgeous did win me over. And when we’d been dropped that bombshell, I truly wished that Becky had had more time to spend with and get to know her parents . So if you’re looking for a different type of read with an unexpected twist, a story about growing up and finding your place in the world I would definitely recommend giving Gorgeous a try.

[Heather · Rating 2 out of 5]

Will be published April 30, 2013, ARC from ALA.

This book was a hot mess!! Terrible dialog, and so overly descriptive is was painful. The premise was cool, but it just didn't work. The 'magic' was never really explained and while it is cool to see a person go from rags to riches, Rebecca/Becky never seemed to learn anything from her experience and it made me wonder why it happened to her in the first place. I wanted this to be funny/clever like Libba Bray's 'Beauty Queens' but it just never came together.


Summary: When Becky Randle's mother dies, she's whisked from her trailer park home to New York. There she meets Tom Kelly, the world's top designer, who presents Becky with an impossible offer: He'll design three dresses to transform the very average Becky into the most beautiful woman who ever lived.

Soon Becky is remade as Rebecca - pure five-alarm hotness to the outside world and an awkward mess of cankles and split ends when she's alone. With Rebecca's remarkable beauty as her passport, soon Becky's life resembles a fairy tale. She stars in a movie, VOGUE calls, and she starts to date Prince Gregory, heir to the English throne. That's when everything crumbles. Because Rebecca aside, Becky loves him. But the idea of a prince looking past Rebecca's blinding beauty to see the real girl inside? There's not enough magic in the world.

[Caroline · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5/5

When I was in middle and early high school, I was obsessed with Meg Cabot. There was something playfully magical about her books, kind of like an incredibly fluffy cupcake that you don't want to eat because it looks too pretty. There wasn't much substance to her prose--she preferred the chatty to the poetic--but you didn't need that. And it wasn't like sugar, which is actively bad for you.

Eventually, something stopped clicking with Cabot and me. Her latest offerings just haven't hit it. I've missed, however, that chick-lit-with-a-brain kind of book that Meg used to release, and I think that Paul Rudnick may have filled that opening. I love Gorgeous for entirely different reasons than, say, why I love The Book Thief or The Raven Boys. But I still love it.

There is a moral to Gorgeous about inner beauty and that's nice and all, but it's not why I enjoyed the book. Rudnick is so snappy, and so surprisingly good at getting a teenage girl's voice. There's a raciness to the language and the sexual references that I've noticed make a lot of people question whether or not the book is okay for teens. Of course it is! It's perfect for teens because it gets them just right. (Albeit in a very mature, crazy situation.)

I can't really say what was real and what was fantasy or magic in Becky's weird adventure. And that's great, too. A lot of time is covered in the novel at a breakneck pace, but it doesn't seem rushed. The only reason why I took half a point off the rating is because the romance isn't really that detailed or developed. But it's still pleasing, and kissing really isn't the point of this one, so it's not a big deal.

Gorgeous is well-padded with excellent supporting characters, all quirky and unique. In particular, Becky's foul-mouthed best friend Rocher is a favorite, as is the mysterious Tom Kelly. I love books that satirize the celebrity culture, and Gorgeous does that like a champ. There was never a point where I wasn't interested in what was going on. (I also had a good laugh throughout, which is nice and palate-cleansing.)

Anything's possible, but I think you'd have a hard time going wrong with this one.

The Cover: Really simple and really pretty. I love that we got a hint of the impossibly beautiful Rebecca and the impossibly beautiful dress, without seeing all of them. It kept some mystery. The red skirt and red of the dress, as well as that lovely font, sticks out very well against the black background. 4/5

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

OH, PAUL RUDNICK. I owe you an apology.

Back in June, when you sat down at my table at the ALA Young Adult authors shindig, my brain said, "Paul Rudnick...Paul Rudnick...something to do with movies?" And of course you were flawless of skin and delightfully charming of manner, and so I thought, yes, movies. Scriptwriting. Producing. Something. And I listened happily to you describe your novel, in which Becky Randle, trailer girl from East Trawley, MO, receives a mysterious offer from the incomparable TOM KELLY, DESIGNER TO THE WORLD. Three dresses: one red, one white, one black. If she wears them and does whatever Tom tells her, Becky will be the most beautiful woman in the world. She accepts Tom's offer, and things go wild from there.

I owe you an apology because it took me an hour or so to get out of that session, to wander away down the massive hallway of the Chicago convention center, tap at my phone a bit, and realize that you are actually of course Libby Gelman-Waxner, which should always and forever be written LIBBY GELMAN-WAXNER!!!!!!! Whose film reviews I devoured like cocaine-dusted Smartfood throughout the 1990s. Whose yenta pronouncements delighted me so much that I subscribed to Premiere--a magazine that I'd completely forgotten about until just now--specifically so that I'd get a Libby hit every month. Who is the reason I still think of poor old Michael Douglas as my Aunt Doris on a motorcycle. And notice when theaters don't vacuum.

Mr. Rudnick, I loved this story every bit as much as I loved LGW in her heyday. It has the same hilarious, delirious, once-more-over-the-top energy, and the same snappy way of sticking pins in celebrity culture. It even has movie reviews and celebrity profiles! Don't think I missed those! It also has a straight romance I can actually get behind, mostly because it's so caustic and smart. It has a heroine I love, with friends I adore. And it has a satisfying fairytale plot with real emotional resonance, and I don't think that's just the hormones talking.

In short, Mr. Rudnick, let's consult our calendars and find a time when we can meet in an upscale hotel bar somewhere between my coast and yours and I can listen to you spin yarns about crazy famous people and the ridiculous excesses of stardom. We may need an extra chair for my wife, because I think she'd love you to pieces. I'll buy the martinis, in apology for being such a dimwit in Chicago--and in thanks for writing such a great book, which I seriously, by the way, recommend.

[shre ♡ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gorgeous was a...gorgeous novel! Every aspect of it was well played out and eye-catching. Although it started out pretty slow, I was completely hooked half-way through it. The characters were hilarious and lovable, the romance was endearing and the plot had a unique twist. A modern-day fairy-tale with many real-life conflicts. I laughed and cried my way through this wonderful book.

Like I said before, the characters were hilarious and lovable. The main characters Becky was very complex and a hard character to wrap my head around, but I admired her courage, strength and surprisingly high wisdom for a girl her age. I really found myself connecting with her because she had problems any normal girl would have with her appearance and she was real. Even when she became the most beautiful women in the world through Rebecca, she didn't become vain but remained just the way she had been before. Although she did grow throughout the book in that she gained confidence and self-purpose. The there is Rocher, Becky's beautifully-named-after-a-brand-of-chocolate best friend. I swear to god, this girl and I would click instantly. We're both sarcastic, overly-dramatic, loud, sassy and supporting. She stood by Becky throughout it all and that showed true loyalty. Also, this girl was beyond hilarious! Other characters that were just as amazing were Tom, the 'fairy-godfather' and Jate, the 'royal stooge' (?).

Now we have George and the one-of-a-kind relationship he has with Rebecca/Becky. First of all, I kinda fell in love with this Prince of England myself. He was charming and funny and such a dork it was adorable, ha ha. But this was alright because his love interest was much more of a dork herself. Together they made an adorkable couple. But the body that was present in front of him was Rebecca not Becky. The chemistry between them was real but the appearance wasn't. So Becky had to find a way to get George to see the real her or their relationship would lack the most essential thing: honesty.

Overall, I thought that the plot was truly one-of-a-kind, unique and hard to find anywhere. This book was definitely a first for me. It had my kind of characters and my kind of humor. A contemporary novel with real-life conflicts and a fairy-tale twist. I fell in hard-core love with some of the characters while mentally shanking others in my head. It did bring out a lot of emotions from me which is a must for any good novel. I would definitely re-read this and recommend it.

[Naoms · Rating 2 out of 5]

Originally posted on Confessions of an Opinionated Book Geek

This book starts and it is intriguing. I liked Becky’s voice, felt the pain of her loss and was fascinated by the situation she finds herself in. Famous fashion designer Tom Kelley gives Becky a choice. She can stay with him in Manhattan, he will design her three dresses and she will become the most beautiful woman in the world. Or, she can go back to her trailer in the middle of nowhere America and back to her not so pretty life. Easy enough choice. I kept reading, because this prospect was amazing to me. I expected magic, or a crazy make over or the idea that Becky was beautiful all along.

Here’s the issue with that. There is some kind of magic, or supernatural element that makes Becky become the beautiful Rebecca, but it is not really explained. So, it just seems to me that a fashion designer puts a girl in a dress and she is beautiful. There is no real life lesson, or goal, or anything. This is just a silly book, where silly things happen. Sure, there are some underlying messages about appearance and our culture, but it is nothing new. It is not unique or different. It’s the same old story and it annoyed me.

I am twenty-four years old, so these kinds of books do not effect me. The issue is, that while reading this book, I remembered a 14 year old me. The girl who was not pretty, too tall and wore glasses. The girl who could not figure out what to do with my kinky short hair and the fact that my legs were too long and my thighs too straight to fit into jeans like the other girls. I think about the 18 year old me, who finally put on make up and a nice dress turned to the mirror and just saw me staring back. Books and films like “Gorgeous,” try to teach us to love ourselves for who we are, but first the heroine gets a make over and looks like Rachel Leigh Cook, Lindsey Lohan (red headed, mean girls version) or Anne Hathaway.

It would be great if these books were about normal girls who look normal. Girls who don’t get to look like Hollywood glamor, but just average. It would be nice if a hero actually fell in love with the heroine, because she does have an amazing personality.

I know those who love this will tell me that I just didn’t get it or the great message flew over my head. It just is not for me.

[Allyson · Rating 1 out of 5]

Rudnick does a masterful job of displaying just how depraved our society is becoming, when Scholastic chooses to publish a work so lacking in any sort of literary merit. Gorgeous is an excellent example of just how far down the pike we have come. When a book for teens has three times more f-words than the actual number of pages, it’s a bit frightening.

And yet, despite all of those unnecessary words, Rudnick does craft some hysterical scenes and situations. His characterizations, while frequently over-the-top, ring with truth. I freely admit that I had several occasions of snorting with laughter at the one-liners flying thick and fast. In those moments, Rudnick shines. But at the end of the day, those brief moments cannot overcome the fact that the book itself is a mess: scene transitions are practically nonexistent and the framework of the central storyline simply isn’t concrete enough to allow for a suspension of disbelief. In the end, Gorgeous simply isn’t.

[Onaca · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'll tell you straight off the bat that the first few chapters of this are torturous to read. The writing is painfully over descriptive. Thankfully, I trudged through and found that, yes, eventually the book does get better. It's still nothing amazing, but I enjoyed it. Gorgeous is a modern day fairytale that is absolutely ridiculous and it had me laughing quietly to myself quite a bit. If you're looking for a quick, fun read, this would be a great choice.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked this up on Scribd on a whim. I was done with my last audio book and needed something. I either wanted mystery or a fluffy contemporary and this one sounded like something I was in the mood for. It was kind of hokey and yet super cute.

You have Becky who lived with her mom who was once a model and then moved to a run down little town called Trawley and lived in a run down trailer. Her mom one day died and Becky was so lost without her. She found a number in her mom's phone. The number belonged to a man named Tom Kellie and he was going to change her life in so many different ways.

Tom helped transform this young girl from a trailer park and showed her a very glamorous life. It sort of reminded me of a Cinderella story but without an evil step mother or step sister. It was a kind of rags to riches type of a story. There were a few twists but most you saw coming. I think if you are looking for something fun this is it. It was a great story. If you like stories with Princes and a so called ugly duckling turned into a beauty queen, then read this. I really enjoyed it and would tell someone who just needs a break from high fantasy (that was me) this book is a great one :)

I loved the characters. I loved Becky's best friend Rocher. She cracked me up throughout most of the book. Both girls did. Tom you learn to love and the Prince is charming. Jate is a trip but lovable and so many more. Fun book (like I haven't already said that a few times )

[Christianna Marks · Rating 5 out of 5]

You can read this and many other reviews on my YA book blog The White Unicorn!

I have to tell you something... I'm in love with this book! I haven't read a book like this one in a long time. It kinda made me feel the same way as when I read Libba Bray's "Going Bovine"! It's one of those wild and kooky rides that is dunked into enough reality that you go along with it. Just like eating a whole bag of cookies with some really good milk, you can't stop yourself. I laughed so hard I wanted to cry and I cried so hard because I was touched. I think that some of the best books make a fool out of you when you read in public and if that's the case Gorgeous wins!

In all truth I'm not sure how this book managed to get published as a YA book? I'd have to give it more of an adult or NA rating. It's so full of dirty words, innuendo and other adult themes that I would be careful about letting younger teens read it, but needless to say, the confusing YA rating didn't get in the way of my enjoyment of the book!

In fact it was all of the things that I just mentioned that gave Gorgeous an edge on all of the other fairytale retellings that I've ever read. This book flat out hinted (okay more than hinted) at being a flashy, raw, hilariously dirty version of Cinderella and it pulled it off perfectly! One of my favorite things about it was that Rudnick wasn't afraid to point out that the book was a retelling and there is nothing I love more than a book that is self aware of what it is.

Rudnick managed to bring us a cast of characters that are so wonderful, I dare you not to fall in love with them. Instead of giving us perfect, pretty people, he gives us some of the most flawed, effed up people on the planet. I'm pretty sure everyone will be able to relate to them on some level. It's an assemble piece and each character has their part to play. From the funny one, to the stuck up one, to the dog who the Queen listens to. Seriously there is a dog that the Queen of England listens to.

Becky/Rebecca is a wonderful lead. She's flawed, but she's brave. Okay maybe she's not brave all of the time, but drama has to come from somewhere. Growing up with her overweight mom in a trailer park hasn't really prepared her for what happens when she find Tom Kelly's number. It's her innocents, mixed with her don't screw with me attitude that makes her totally awesome. The story is told through her eyes as she struggles to decide what is important? Being pretty or being herself.

The people she meets along the way build the story in a way that I loved. Prince Greg was darling and had one hell of a mouth on him. It was fun to see a prince who wasn't proper. And the other characters of the royal family where perfect! You could totally tell that they were based on a a certain other royal family (maybe a real one?) Rocher was the most kick ass, foul mouthed best friend a girl could ask for. Her scenes always had me laughing! And Tom and his staff were well imagined and gave the book some odd form of grounding.

This is a book that won't be for everyone. There are things that will turn people off and there are things that people don't want in their fairytale, but I'm not one of those people. Because like I said before I love this book. It's edgy, it's raw and it's got this insane amount of subtle magic that actually works. Nothing about this book makes sense, but when you reach the end you'll feel like you read something special.

[Yamin Eaindray · Rating 4 out of 5]

MAJOR SPOILER ALERT

Gorgeous is one hell of a book that often made me stop, re-read the last few sentences, and say "what?".

I guess I get the idea of it...Rebecca's obese mother died, she found a number and called it, she met Tom Kelly, and was offered to be "The Most Beautiful Woman Who Has Ever Lived".

It sounds utterly unrealistic that three dresses can change a woman in very vague ways. And the exaggeration of Rebecca's beauty is...well...surprising. I don't believe a dress can make a girl gorgeous just like magic but this book was blooming with magic although it wasn't written in an obvious way. The dwarves that made shoes. The peculiar garden. Tom Kelly's "wizardry". If you just read it and skimmed through it, you wouldn't have even noticed the language and what the text signifies. That means I read it again and again. And again.

I'm not sure of what I think of Gorgeous but I'm positive I like it. Maybe I really like it. Mixed feelings? And when I think about it, the cover doesn't reveal the female's face. Almost as if the slap-to-the-face, non-existent beauty cannot match up to anybody in reality and only exists in our imaginations.

And all I can visualize is a faceless woman.

The ending was so...fast and...complicated that I had to re-read the pages again and again.

Tom Kelly, Lila, and Drake died? What? Okay, so they did but then why are they THERE? They can't be ghosts. That's just...ugh, a horrible turn. Are they spirits, then? But that's also unrealistic. I might have missed something or maybe I just can't comprehend.

Either way, I adored Tom Kelly and his death made me tearful but come on! His confession makes sense in the end and all the pieces connected perfectly but I didn't catch the explanation of them being THERE when they had already died. I better read again.

And on the last page before the epilogue, Becky supposedly got a phone call from Tom Kelly and her mother, Roberta Randle (Who were said to be married, and got Becky. Roberta Randle died at the beginning of the book, and Tom Kelly...died afterwards?) and I sort of...understood that part. It didn't really happen but...it did? Jesus! I don't know anymore.

But...it was a good book. I sat on a swing outside and let mosquitoes swarm around my legs for the past hour. And now there are annoying little bites on my skin that I want to run my nails over. But it was worth it although I want to scream in confusion.

[Annette · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'd like to tell you about Gorgeous, even though I didn't finish it, because I think it's a good book -- for the right reader.

Becky's extremely overweight mother dies, and she finds a note with a phone number on it. She calls the number, and ends up in New York, meeting Tom Kelly, reclusive designer to the stars (think, maybe, Tommy Hilfiger?) Turns out he knew Becky's mom when she was young and a beautiful model. Tom says he can help Becky become the most beautiful girl in the world.

And he does. Although it's not clear how, and maybe by the end of the book this would make sense, but I found it a bit weird. Becky just puts on a dress and becomes Rebecca -- the most beautiful girl in the world.

Of course this opens all sorts of doors for Rebecca, and while she's trying to get used to her new self, Tom tells her she needs to get married within a year, or she goes back to the way she was. Tom's motives are never clear. I did like Becky's character, but once again, this story was too over the top for me.

I read 40% of the 336 pages. It's a cute book, well-written. It's just not what I want to read about. I got impatient to find out what happens. I don't really think the plot was that slow, but I just found myself skimming over all the descriptions of the high-class adventures that Rebecca experienced because it's not what I care about. This is definitely a book for teens, and although I love YA, Gorgeous was too "cotton-candy" for me.

It's me, not the book. Someone who enjoys a very opulent Cinderella story will most likely really enjoy Gorgeous. It reminded me a bit of Meg Cabot's Airhead. So if you like that kind of story, don't hesitate to pick up Gorgeous.

[Marissa Moore · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gorgeous is a realistic fiction book. Anyone that likes to read about magic, finding their true selves, or drama will love this book. In the story an 18 year-old girl named Becky is given the opportunity of a lifetime. Her mother dies and leaves her the phone number of the most famous designer, Tom Kelly. She heads off to New York to see him and he tells her that he will make her the Most Beautiful Women in the World with only three dresses. She becomes Rebecca Randle instead of plain-old Becky. She is soon on the cover of VOGUE. She begins working for good causes and meets Prince Gregory of England. She soon falls in love with him but she doesn't know who he is in love with, Rebecca or Becky. As she goes through the three dresses she finds out who loves who and who she really is.

I loved the book overall. I really didn't know what was going to happen even when I was most of the way through the book. I was finding out something new in every chapter. I think my favorite character was Becky/Rebecca but her best friend Roche is hilarious. I liked Becky because she reminds me of me trying to figure out who I really am. My favorite part was when she figures out who she really is and then Prince Gregory... opps not telling that part! The ending wasn't how I would have expected it but it was better than anything I would have thought of.

I think that anyone would like this book. I don't know of any books that are like it but it really is a good read!

[Judith · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is a world famous designer speaking to a young girl:
" 'I met your mother when she was sixteen,' said Tom. I was waiting for my car in Times Square and I looked across the street and there was this girl. Oh, she was a total hick, she was on a field trip to the city, her high school had flown everyone up north to see some godforsaken musical. But I could tell she was dazzled, by the show and the city and by being away from home for the first time. She was wearing tight, acid-washed jeans and a hot pink puffy jacket and all sorts of I LOVE NEW YORK crap , oh, and one of those green foam rubber Statue of Liberty headbands, with the spikes. Her hair was nothing and her makeup was drugstore overdose but I took one look and I said that's it. That's her. That's the next great American face. And so I dodged a few taxis and I ran over to her and I told her, 'Look, I'm Tom Kelly, and you're going to assume that I want to drug you and fuck you and sell you to an Arab, but I don't. I want to put your face on every public surface, perfume package and magazine cover in the world. Call me.' And I gave her my card. ' "

Judging by the sentence structure and punctuation alone, I would guess this author failed freshman English, but it's really not important because his character is a cartoon. And if I want a cartoon, I can watch, "Family Guy" on television.

[Natalia · Rating 4 out of 5]

This Cinderella retelling was both sad and hilarious, silly and clever.
Review to come.

[Serena Chase · Rating 4 out of 5]

(condensed from my review, posted at USA Today's HEA blog)
It was the cover art that first drew me in, but when I read the book description for Gorgeous by Paul Rudnick and realized it was a modern fairy tale with a twist, I simply had to have it. I'm a total sucker for a fairy tale, and since my sense of humor can be a bit twisted at times *wink*, it seemed like a pretty good fit.

Other than being the most originally irreverent take on a Cinderella story that I've ever read? Well, it's insanely well-written and laugh-out-loud funny. Beyond that, fairy-tale aficionados will be pleased to discover hints of other fairy tales humorously placed within this well-known playwright and screenwriter's YA fiction debut.

And speaking of this author ... I don't mean to sound like a sexist, but I was a little hesitant about reading a first-person female point-of-view — a YA-flippin'-fairy-tale, no less! — written by ... a dude. (There. I said it. Sue me.) But I must admit: Paul Rudnick certainly has a way with the ladies' … heads. Generally speaking, most guys don't get how our beauty-can-be-power-but-I'm-so-insecure-about-my-looks-that-I-will-never-possibly-own-it minds work. Paul Rudnick gets it. And he portrays it beautifully, not only in Becky, but in her best friend, let's-see-how-many-creative-combinations-of-the-f-bomb-I-can-throw-into-a-sentence Rocher, who is, herself, a full-color character (and I'm not just talking about her language!). Even Prince Gregory, in moments of hilarious self-deprecation, shows hints of the male version of that sort of insecurity from time to time. Rudnick's way of tackling this subject is not only funny but rings entirely true — even in the midst of an impossible, magical tale.

The romance between Rebecca/Becky and Prince Gregory is another mark of originality that I found delightful. Attraction is a given — I mean, Handsome Prince and The Most Beautiful Woman in the World? Unavoidable. But Rudnick uses the characters' creative, non-injurious insults to one another and snarky, self-deprecating comments to show not only how well-suited the two are apart from their outward positions in the world, but to demonstrate how utterly shocking they find the depth of their growing love. But Becky's self-image and the trueness of her averageness, when held against alter-ego Rebecca's perfection, make her doubt that anything is real, including the Prince's love. It's rather heartbreaking ... but it makes the ending even sweeter.

Having been so thoroughly entertained by this rags-to-riches, drab-to-devastatingly beautiful-and-back-again romp, I was entirely caught off guard when the last page before the epilogue moved me to a new emotional plane. Those few lines were so honest and lovely and right that they nearly required a moment of silence. But finally, I wiped my eyes and entered the epilogue.

Due to language, sexual references and some mature content, I would classify this book as YA for adults and older teens (those whose legal identification can get them into an R-rated movie). Some content might offend sensitive readers, but no more so than what one might overhear in the average American public school hallway. If a reader can look beyond the exploding f-bombs, mild depictions of a fashion designer/fairy godfather's sexual exploits and the author's occasional antagonism toward religious subcultures, she will discover that a constant yet expertly understated theme of self-realization flows through the story and into her own heart, giving even the most snort-worthy moments of humor a touch of poignancy.

Gorgeous was a riot to read, even when it made me uncomfortable. I will certainly be looking forward to more YA from author Paul Rudnick.

[Sandy · Rating 4 out of 5]

We all like to dream “what if.” One of my favorite movies is Pretty Woman where we have a young woman who was working the streets climb the ladder of success all because someone recognized that she had potential. Someone saw that she had more to offer society and eventually her life becomes a fairy tale. In Gorgeous, Becky and her mother live in a trailer and Becky’s mother has not left the house in years. Becky has wondered about her mother’s strange behavior but has not questioned her mother about it. Upon her mother’s death, Becky finds a phone number and that leads her to Tom. Tom knew Becky’s mom and eventually the relationship between the two of them is revealed. If only Becky had known more about her mother’s past, I can imagine the talks they would have had. Tom proposes to Becky that he will create three dresses for her and will transform her into the Most Beautiful Woman in the World. Oh yeah, Becky thinks that Tom has lost his mind! With Tom’s expensive labels plastered all over the world and with a few phone calls to her bestie, Becky agrees. What does she have to lose? As Becky slips the first gown on, she realizes that she does have a body after all and you have to laugh as she starts to accept the challenge that Tom has placed before her. As people start to notice her and her social circle widens, the challenge starts to become a reality. Becky starts to slip away and Rebecca starts to emerge. She has started to become a new person. Rebecca loves the new engagements, the new higher elites and the attention she is drawing but inside Becky is still the same. As a new challenge is presented, Rebecca cannot say no but Becky’s emotions get in the way and present some reservations.

This was a fun read with a nice twist to it. I found myself laughing and smiling as Becky tries to handle the predicament that she is. From meeting famous people to handling that she does have a body, the book will have you laughing. I immediately felt a connection to Becky as she was not flighty or fake. She was apprehensive about everything but she was typical of someone her age. She called her best friend to ask for advice, she didn’t know how to act around people of higher social class and she was not afraid to ask questions. The Prince was an interesting character. I enjoyed that he was fun and that he was not all about his title- enjoyable.

[Liviania · Rating 4 out of 5]

I feel in love with GORGEOUS's hardcover jacket, but I might like the look of the paperback even better. (Plus, the white/black/red color scheme is ever so slightly more plot relevant than the black/red/blue color scheme.) GORGEOUS is the young adult debut of Paul Rudnick, a writer known for his plays and humor pieces in The New Yorker.

In this modern-day Cinderella story, Becky Randle is left adrift when her beloved mother dies. Then she finds a phone number in her mother's things, with instructions to call it. She reaches reclusive fashion designer Tom Kelly, who promises her three dresses that will make her the most beautiful woman in the world. The catch? She must fall in love and marry within the year.

I enjoyed Becky's identity struggle. She enjoys being confident, intimidating Rebecca, but can't quite forget that she's just nice, middle-of-the-road Becky. Being Rebecca opens her up to a world of new experiences, and the potential to use her fame for good, but everyone warns her that there will be a cost to that fame. And she's not entirely clueless that there's something sinister about the magic Kelly has worked upon her.

I do feel like GORGEOUS tried to bite off a bit too much. There isn't really room for both Becky's coming of age and her true, magical romance. I never quite bought the depth of her feelings because she didn't spend much time with the guy. I did buy her relationship with her best friend Rocher, which is one of the highlights of the book. Rocher is happy for Rebecca, and Rebecca sticks by her oldest friend. There's no question that their relationship has changed, but both girls fight for each other.

In the end, GORGEOUS was a bit uneven and the internal logic doesn't always hang together, but it is fun and positive. I loved seeing Becky's growth throughout the novel and cheered for her to get a fairytale ending, even when it looked impossible. I think GORGEOUS would definitely liven up an airplane ride - you could imagine you were traveling Rebecca-style.

[Katy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Where did this bizarre little book come from? I was not an easy convert but stuck with it and am glad I did; have now been utterly enchanted and seduced. Becky's beginnings are kinda contrived, Rudnick's voice stilted: girl lives in trailer park with single mom, works in small town grocery store, mom dies, girl is swept away to magical mansion of Calvin Klein who calls her plain/ugly but offers to make her the most beautiful girl in the world. HUH?!

And yet. Somewhere in between being literally grabbed off the sidewalk and thrust into the romantic lead of the blockbuster of the decade and meeting a real-life prince (hullo William), Becky Randall grew on me, and so did Rudnick's writing. If you listen closely you'll catch a hint of Libba Bray's "Beauty Queens", a wry and incisive wit; a touch of A. S. King's magical realism behind Rudnick's straight-up wish fulfillment fantasy. Becky's not a Real Girl (TM), though maybe she's supposed to be. She's not you or me. But not every book has to be about you or me, though this is one of the aspects that made me wonder, "why Y.A.?"

Anyway, I'm still entranced.

[Acacia · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ugh. I was hoping for so much more out of this book. Overall it was okay. It had some cute and deep parts, but there was just so much cussing and pretty much just a bunch of trashy talk of sex and other stuff that it just took away from the story. Honestly, the writing style in the beginning had a hard time hooking me in. I felt that it was disconnected, which I don't know how that's possible since it was in first-person. I don't know. The ending was just plain weird. I mean, was it God, was it magic, can we have had a little bit of insight as to how the heck it all happened? I just... I really thought this was going to be a great book, and it just wasn't. There were parts I liked, sure, but overall I really was just disappointed. I felt like it was just so trashy at times, and I really felt, and yeah, maybe I'm judging based off the cover, that it was going to be... I don't know, at least a little like a classy, modern fairy tale. And it wasn't... :/ Overall: 2 stars and a very disappointed reader.

[Práxedes Rivera · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thanks to Nicky for recommending this book! After reading the first paragraph I knew it was my mission to finish it. Rudnick weaves the supernatural into the story without sounding trite by concocting a main character who feels like someone we know. The humor in it is excellent, and it was a lot of fun to read. I just felt that the ending was too inconsistent with the rest of the book. For most of the novel, the intrigue of Becky's transformation, her relationship with her dead mother, etc., took on a mystical note. Yet at the end Kelly gives a six page explanation of everything! It would have been so much more powerful to have the truth come out in bits, as in a mystery novel. But this is a great YA novel which I will recommend to all my students.

[A · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ugh! bad luck with audiobooks this week. Plus, who edited this? I was having fun until everything that could have taken about 3 sentences took about 50 and I can't speed this thing up fast enough.

Slightly entertaining, could have used a better reader. I do love a Cinderella story.

Edit a few hours later:

Whoo-boy. This is pretty terrible. The beginning was somewhat promising, but it's really quite depressing and ridiculous. I think that's the point the author is trying to get across--the ridiculousness of fame and gorgeousness... but seriously, the point was beaten to death with a baseball bat two hours ago.

Abandoned!

[mandi. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall I'd say that this book was pretty cute. I did listen to it on audiobook and I did really like the voice used. The ending got a bit weird for me but it's still good and I just got over it. I'd say that it isn't the best writing ever but it was very enjoyable. Sometimes you just need that right? A book to just be fun to read. If you're looking for that kind of read then this is definitely for you.

[Joel · Rating 2 out of 5]

The message was, I guess, "good". If this is going to teach self-involved girls about social responsibility, more power etc. But for me, with the refined tastes that come with being fully double the intended reader's age, the satire was painfully heavy handed. And even to the extent that this does teach a lesson about social responsibility, it still reinforces as many lessons of privilege as it upends. So let's call this the remedial course.