Resilience: Facing Down Rejection and Criticism on the Road to Success

by Mark McGuinness

If you want to achieve something original and meaningful with your life, you MUST learn to deal with rejection and criticism.

If you're an artist of any kind your work will be rejected by editors, curators and other gatekeepers. And each time you put it in front of the public, you expose yourself to criticism.

If you're an entrepreneur you face rejection by (potential) customers, partners and investors. Those same people won't hesitate to criticise you if they are unhappy (justified or not).

If you're chasing your dream job you'll receive your share of rejection letters. And once you land the job, taking flak when things go wrong is part of the deal.

Many people set out on their chosen path full of hope and inspiration, only to turn back because they couldn't deal with the emotional impact of crushing rejections and vicious criticism.

If you want to avoid joining the legions of also-rans, you'll need to find practical, effective ways to deal with rejection and criticism.

Anyone who says 'don't take it so personally' doesn't understand what it's like when you are hit by a major rejection or biting criticism. You need to acknowledge the pain - and find ways to bounce back from it.

In short, you need to develop resilience.

As an award-winning poet and a creative entrepreneur, Mark McGuinness has dealt with his share of rejection and criticism, and found ways to persist in pursuit of his dreams.

And for over twenty years he's been sharing his solutions with his coaching clients, helping hundreds of creatives like you to face down the same challenges.

In Resilience, Mark McGuinness explains why your reactions to rejection and criticism are completely understandable - and how to deal with them effectively.

Through stories from his own experience, as well as those of famous people who faced rejection and criticism on the road to their success, he will show you that you are far from alone in suffering from rejection and criticism.

And he gives practical advice that has been road-tested with hundreds of people facing similar challenges to you.

You will

This is not a theoretical book - it's packed with practical tips and techniques you can apply to your own challenges right away.

Whether you're just setting out, in the middle of your journey, or dealing with the unexpected challenges of success, this book will show you how to keep moving forward.

If you take a few hours to read Resilience, its lessons will help you for the rest of your life.

Genres: Business, Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Personal Development

217 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 21, 2012

Reviews

[Vadim · Rating 3 out of 5]

Только мы можем решить сделать свою мечту реальностью, несмотря на все препятствия на пути. Можно идти к своей цели путем проб и ошибок или учиться на чужом опыте.

Марк Макгинесс - английский предприниматель, писатель и коуч, выпускник Оксфорда и популярный блогер. Он обучает своих клиентов, живущих на всех континентах принципам, которые помогают добиваться успеха в делах. С некоторыми из них, изложенными в этой книге, я хочу с вами поделиться.

1. Решите, на чем Вы хотите специализироваться
Определите интересную вам область знаний и границы своей специализации, а затем узнайте обо всем, что попадает в эти рамки.

2. Станьте экспертом в выбранной Вами области
На это потребуется время, по некоторым оценкам до 10.000 часов.
Читайте все, что относится к Вашей теме, общайтесь на специализированных форумах, посещайте семинары и конференции, постоянно учитесь.

3. Заведите блог и эккаунты в социальных сетях
Блог - это магнит возможностей, работающий круглые сутки весь год напролет.
Благодаря ему о вас узнают тысячи людей и возможно заинтересуются вашими услугами/продуктами.

4. Создайте свои продукты: электронные книги, дистанционные курсы, личные тренинги
Это поможет создать небольшой, управляемый и осмысленный бизнес, приносящий достаточный для жизни доход. Но не путайте маркетинг (привлечение внимания и доверия потенциальных клиентов) и продажи (заключение сделок) - это разные вещи.

5. Сосредоточтесь на нужных людях
Решите с кем на самом деле Вы хотите работать и сконцентрируйте усилия на том,
чтобы появиться в поле зрения с знаниями и навыками, наиболее ценными для ваших клиентов.

6. Предлагайте пробные бесплатные сессии
Вы создаете возможности для себя, сначала давая их другим. Щедрость - ключ к эффективной работе. Бесплатные или дешевые услуги/продукты привлекут внимание широкой аудитории на начальном этапе.

7. Будьте настойчивы, запаситесь терпением и упорством
Путь к успеху может занять несколько лет. Не обращайте внимания на неудачи, правильно относитесь к критике или игнорируйте её.

Более подробно с историей успеха Марка и секретами его достижения можно познакомиться прочитав книгу.

Приятного чтения!

[Dawn Lennon · Rating 2 out of 5]

More a primer on how to handle rejection and criticism, this book fell short for me. I was expecting more insights about the psychology, impacts and implications around the value of resilience in life and career. About half of the book is assignments/exercises, a quarter about the author's experiences, and a quarter on informative, topical content. If you are struggling with actions and scripts to deal with rejection and criticism, there is help here. If you are looking for a deeper understanding of the essence of resilience and the connection of rejection and criticism to achieving it, then this may not be the book for you.

[Lloyd Downey · Rating 2 out of 5]

I should note at the outset, that this review is based on a Blinkist summary of the whole book. So it comes with limitations. Though, I have found the Blinkist summaries, very good in capturing the essence of the full book. But one is always going to miss the detail and the nuances of the full book. Nevertheless here are a few extracts from the summary that caught my attention:
To make your dreams come true, you need to be comfortable with moving past your fears.
The reason most people give up on those early dreams is fear. The bigger the dream, the bigger the fear of taking the leap required to make it a reality......So there are two options: you can either give up or you can face your fear. And, of these two options, one is clearly a whole lot easier. Most people give up.
Most people want to experience the dream without the fear, but this just isn’t possible. The only way to reach great heights is to stare down your fears and conquer them.
Close your eyes and picture yourself taking the steps to make this dream come true.
As you picture yourself finishing your goal, you’ll feel a surge of positive energy that will keep you on the path to your dream. And the fear and excitement of the undertaking will provide you with adrenaline, the fuel you’ll need to step up to the challenge that lies ahead.
Having the passion to realize your dreams requires great commitment.
One thing is for sure: making a dream come true is hard work, requiring you to overcome obstacles and face levels of rejection and criticism that would break most people’s spirits.
So the first step is making sure that your dream is something you are truly passionate about.
here are some pointers:
One of the most powerful dreams a person can have is to fight for justice and equality. There are few motivations as potent and as satisfying as helping others....So if your dream helps other people and is philanthropic in some way, you’ll have a better chance of keeping it alive when times get tough. [Well ok but what if your dream is not really philanthropic...like wanting an Olympic medal?].....But it needn’t be a noble cause. People have accomplished amazing things by devoting themselves to things like setting a new world record in exploration or extreme sports.
Whatever it is, it must be a dream that you hold very dear, because you will face rejection. Your passion is what will keep you going......Persevering in spite of rejection is the key to reaching your dreams.
When you’re rejected, of course you ‘ll take it personally and feel like the world is conspiring against you.....To get closer to your dreams, overcome your fears and keep challenging yourself.
To be a better self-critic, distance yourself from your work so you can take a fresh perspective.....Your inner critic can work with you, rather than against you....Reaching your dreams requires a healthy attitude toward success.
Anyone can pursue their dreams, so start experimenting to expand your confidence.
Final summary
When you're rejected, of course you'll take it personally and feel like the world is conspiring against you......The reality is, you're not the only one trying to publish a book [I get the impression that most of the author’s experience with rejection is in terms of getting his writing published.....not in being rejected in a political election etc.] get a record deal or launch a start-up. And since so many people are trying to do the same thing, the odds are that a lot of people will be getting rejected every day.
But this doesn't mean you should give up. In fact, the key to success is having resilience and persevering in the face of rejection. This is what separates the wannabes from the superstars.....Stephen King's first novel, Carrie, was rejected a dozen times,....King isn't alone-William Golding went through one rejection after another before he got his classic novel, Lord of the Flies, published.
In short, there's no sense in taking rejection as a sign of failure when it's actually a normal part of the journey.
To get closer to your dreams, overcome your fears and keep challenging yourself.....The emotion of fear can be overcome through the process of desensitization.
Whether it's meeting new people, heights or public speaking, repeated exposure will gradually turn that fear into something you can tolerate....This is important to remember in the pursuit of your dream......Desensitization requires practice and a willingness to continually challenge yourself. The more you do this, the fewer fears and obstacles you'll have separating you from your dreams.
Do the visualization exercise again with ten of your dreams.....and imagine starting toward
these goals and getting repeatedly rejected-but then, for one or two of your dreams, imagine being accepted. If just two out of ten dreams come true, the eight other rejections would be totally worth it, right?......Now that you have healthy perspective, you can get started on your dreams for real and begin sending in those applications
To be a better self-critic, distance yourself from your work so you can take a fresh perspective.....To help your criticism be effective, however, you need to take a step back, distance yourself from the work in question and look at it from a new perspective.
Leonardo da Vinci recommended this. He would set up a mirror so that he could look at a reflection of his latest painting.....Even walking away to look at your work from a distance can allow you to see things in a new light,....The author will regularly change formats during his writing process, starting with handwritten drafts, then moving to the computer screen and finishing with printouts that he'll use to make edits......Athletes and performers all use video and audio recordings after a game or show to pick out weaknesses that otherwise might go unnoticed.....Put down the pen or paintbrush and let your work rest for an hour-or even several days, if you can......Many writers follow this advice and will even set up different periods of time for writing and editing.
Your inner critic can work with you, rather than against you.......Your inner critic is the one who pushes you to keep working and reworking until you've reached the best possible outcome.....The reason the inner critic gets a bad rap is because it can get overcritical before you've even begun, and this can convince you to not even bother trying. But if you befriend your inner critic, you can prevent this scenario from playing out.
ask, "What do I need to do differently?" This forces the voice to be constructive rather than unhelpful,.....Also, make sure your inner critic voices opinions and isn't trying to convince you of absolute truths. The criticism should be focused on precise problems,
Reaching your dreams requires a healthy attitude toward success......there's the healthy way of seeing success: as the act of achieving something great, whether it's creating inspirational art, inventing a life-changing product or empowering people to be better. With this perspective on success, you can keep yourself on the right path......So, if you're thinking negative thoughts about success, now's the time to change those ideas.
When the author was a young man, he was an idealist, an aspiring poet who saw corporations and businesses as evil. Yet as he grew up, he realized he needed to be a successful businessman in order to sustain himself with freelance work.
Anyone can pursue their dreams, so start experimenting to expand your confidence.
The only quality necessary to go after that dream is a willingness to work hard.
We'll often think a politician or actor must be an outgoing extrovert, but this is far from reality. The truth is that you don't even need that much confidence before you begin pursuing your dream......When you start expanding your ideas about what's possible, your confidence will also grow. And you can start expanding by experimenting.....If there are things you want to do, but you don't feel capable of doing them, write each thing down on a piece of paper, along with the reason you think you can't do it. Is it impossible because of something you lack?...Do you not have enough empathy, etc.......The more small steps you take, the more confidence you'll gain and the closer that dream will be.
It's time to move past the fears of rejection and criticism and to start enjoying the adventures that life can provide. Get out there and start living!
Final summary
The key message in this book: Resilience is not an elusive quality that some people have and others lack. It's a practice that you can build by refusing to give up, despite the rejection and criticism you encounter.
We all have the capacity for resilience. And, by cultivating it, you can discover your true passion and pursue it, even when the odds seem to be stacked against you.
My take on the book? I think it’s very superficial. Nothing there that seemed really new or inspirational to me. It’s as though the author decided to make his experiences of getting his books rejected into a book in its own right.....And the self help genre seemed an ideal focus.
He starts off with very grandiose dreams ....like being Prime Minister or a Navy Seal but very rapidly returns to the prospective author getting his/her manuscript....which seems a much more modest dream. Two stars from me.

[Malik Aljabri · Rating 2 out of 5]

Finish it as summary in Blinkist

[José Antonio Lopez · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mark McGuinness shares his experience coaching creative people as well as his own on how to overcome Rejection and Criticism the two forces that can stop us from achieving our goals. He is clear that this is not a research book and thus is entertaining and full of tips and suggestions. However I felt that the overall message is bias towards rationalization and conformism. I recommend starting with deeper books to better understand Resilience and Grit. McGuinness' can be a good complement to find practical suggestions for change.

[Henrique · Rating 3 out of 5]

The book has some good insghts on what resilience is and on how you can buid a resilient behaviour, has a very promising start and it's well written.

However, it lacks depth and sometimes it's more about the author's opinion and experience than facts or science.

Still a book worth reading, but could be better.

[Sharna Sammy · Rating 5 out of 5]

"I can't do this because I don't have X", or "Don't take it so personally" are things we often come across as creatives in business or in our social lives. This book is not the kind of book you read and put away. Its the kind of book you take action with. Brilliant! Motivating! Thank you Mark for sharing your stories and lessons learnt with the world.

[Gopal · Rating 5 out of 5]

All professionals in the creative field, like writers, painters, dancer etc. should read this book. Becuase this field is full of critiques. Overcoming criticism is very important for people to succeed in these fields.

[Miguel Panão · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting but not enough

What can I say... it didn't captured my attention. Some interesting points, but I was expecting more. The recurrence to zen mysticism was not compelling. Good effort though.

[Dmitry Demidov · Rating 2 out of 5]

Одно и то же. Надоело. Медитируйте, найдите единомышленников, не сдавайтесь, изучите потребности блаблабла