The Book of Goodbyes

by Jillian Weise

Winner of the 2013 Isabella Gardner Poetry Award
A Publishers Weekly "Best Book of 2013"
A NPR "Best Book of 2013"
A Coldfront Magazine "Top 40 Poetry Book" for 2013

“These fierce, hip, heartbreaking love poems call out to a lover who can’t be lived with or without. They’re humorous, odd, and full of all the unreasonable truth of love. This book is the real thing.” —Publishers Weekly

Weise’s collection “examines the daily life and consciousness of a speaker with a disability willing to confront all taboos associated with sex, intimacy, identity, gender, and love.” - Coldfront Magazine

The Los Angeles Times described Jillian Weise's debut poetry collection as "a fearless dissection of the taboo and the hidden." In this second collection she forwards her bold, sexy poetics by chronicling an affair with a man she names "Big Logos." These poems throw into question sex, the law, identity, sentiment, and power, shifting between lyric and narrative, hyper-realism and magical realism, fact and fiction.

I've Been Waiting All Night

I reckon you were asleep with your girl
before the phone rang. Make something up.

I've been waiting all night to tell you
about the couple in post-War France,

the woman fresh in her grave
and the man who didn't like his mistress dead,

no sir, and so exhumed her, to the dismay
of his wife, who had him arrested

for the stink he made.
She was reburied, returned to the dead.

After jail, he dug her up to fuck again.
Attached suction cups and crafted

a wig from a broom. You can go now.
I'm more in the mood than you're used to.

Jillian Weise—an above-the-knee amputee with a computerized prosthetic—identifies as a cyborg and has discussed the identity in essays for the New York Times and Drunken Boat. Her books include The Amputee's Guide to Sex (Soft Skull Press, 2007) and The Colony (Counterpoint/Soft Skull Press, 2010). She is an assistant professor at Clemson University, a contributing editor at the South Carolina Review, and co-director of the Annual Clemson Literary Festival.

Genres: Poetry, Disability, Fiction

88 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2013

About the author

The Cyborg Jillian Weise (Cy/Cy's/Cyself, also She/Hers) is a poet, video artist and activist. Recent essays include Common Cyborg and The Dawn of the Tryborg. Cy started Borg 4 Borg Productions and directed the film A KIM DEAL PARTY ft. Eileen Myles, Patricia Lockwood, Alice Wong and more. From 2016-2020, Weise performed the fictional character of Tipsy Tullivan across social.

Reviews

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found half these poems to be brilliant, and the other half abysmal. There were a lot of clever and poignant lines that perfectly fit feelings that I have felt when I tried them on, but then there was a pages-long poem about finches that I just did not have the patience or interest to puzzle out. It's very emotional, interesting, sometimes bizarre writing.

[Jenny (Reading Envy) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read and enjoyed these poems before I realized the poet teaches at Clemson University, less than an hour from where I live. I had marked them to-read after a very positive review in Publishers Weekly, and the poet is receiving national acclaim. The poems are very contemporary and just feel like real life - relationships, setbacks, birds. I was reminded of Mr. Big on Sex and the City with a recurring character in the poems.

She is probably better known for her volume The Amputee's Guide to Sex (poems, not a manual). PBS animated one of those poems, Incision.

My favorites of this volume were Be Not Far From Me and Portrait of Big Logos.

Discussed on Episode 4 of the Reading Envy podcast!

[C. Varn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is wry and angry, but without the clinical coldness often linked to contemporary poetry, particularly poems about relationships and modern life. Weise weaves in references to skype and the increasingly digital world without flinching or excessive irony. Weise often uses recurring characters and while very rooted in a particular time in modern life--roughly a decade ago--the poems do not feel excessively dated or rooted in the obscurity of real relationships that the reader has no access to. Indeed, Weise does have a sense of character that flows through the books often not found in either contemporary lyric and contemporary narrative poetry--a genre distinction that this collection more or less straddles. While not perfect, this collection is strong and still enjoyable now.

[J.M. Hushour · Rating 5 out of 5]

Weise's poems are weirdly relevant, contemporary without coldness, and reminders to make one shiver of our own palpable meaninglessness. But more than that, they're reminders of how to find meaning and how to extricate oneself from the trap of the present. They seethe with a recognition of how to remember to be human, no matter in how banal a sense, and no matter what people might think of you. Best to not be beast along with the rest of them. Challenging and awesome.

[Kelly Lynn Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

A friend described Weise's work as fierce, and I'd agree. These poems are biting and drip with intent. I particularly enjoyed the middle section of the book, which featured several longer poems about finches in Angel Falls, Argentina. The finches in these poems had lives just like us, problems in romance, insurance salesmen knocking on their doors, jobs to do. I love the way Weise captured their emotions through language.

Something she does really well is character. Not only the finches, but some other recurring characters (including the speaker of the poem, presumably some form of herself) in this collection, really come alive throughout the book. She manages this with few but precise words.

I'm a fan of narrative poetry, and I like the way this collection was sort of narrative and sort of not. Many of the poems were sort of connected by character or place, but there wasn't really a plot. It's a good reflection of the way life works, I think, and that's part of what makes it so powerful.

[Stanley B. · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is hard to read real poems. A reader has to slow down their reading because each word links to another. Or, should. Good poems need concentration that a reader should want to give freely. The anticipated result should be a cornucopia of finality like this author of poems achieves with finesse.

Many poems do not make sense (a black hole does not make sense). Yet Ms. Weise’s poems create a story of sensibility. Such as exploring the difference in a couple’s age expressed as decades people or her association with being an amputee and the value of body parts.

[Richard · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm not so big on poetry (to me, novels > stories > poems), but I'm trying to branch out a little.

I love the poem that appears in the synopsis above. It's my favorite in the collection. The rest of them were a bit hit and miss for me. Some of them have sharp stunning turns, and others just seemed self consciously "random." Too "See what I did there?"

[Melody · Rating 4 out of 5]

She's a poet with an artificial leg. She is having some sort of affair with a man she calls Big Logos and it's not all good. Spot on poems of imperfection. Two of my favorite are: The Ugly Law and Cafe Loop.

[Liam Malone · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was one of the more fun collections I've read in a while. Not that the poems were funny, many were not but overall I liked reading them and made me think or otherwise react. The poems about the birds, terrific. Those about the poet lover, touching and little sad.

[Justin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely amazing collection--so sharp, so real, so hilarious. Jillian Weise writes perfect poems about imperfection.

[dc · Rating 4 out of 5]

i was going to write down the names of the must-read poems, and i realized i would have to write them all down.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book and found it very genuine. I'm certainly going to read more of Jillian's work.

[Timothy Volpert · Rating 5 out of 5]

i loved this book. funny, heartbreaking, eye-opening etc. great turns of phrase. will definitely be reading more by weise.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gah! I loved this book too much. A perfect blend of surreal rooted in sturdy point of view story-telling, with good word choice and turns of phrase.

[Doralee Brooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an accomplished and beautiful book. It's quirky, funny, entertaining, and wise. Weise is so smart in these poems. I hope everyone can read these.

[Peycho Kanev · Rating 4 out of 5]

Brave girl!

[Leni · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think the narrator that we get to know throughout The Book of Goodbyes is a very interesting perspective from which to tell the story of an affair. Generally we are quick to look at the individual who is outside of the established relationship in love triangle/cheating scenarios as simply cruel. Most media I see that centers around these kinds of relationships are made from the perspective of the person being cheated on. It was interesting getting to hear from the “other woman” (for lack of a better term) and see her view of both her relationship to the character Big Logos and of his relationship with his girlfriend. I was particularly interested in the poems that she wrote addressing this other woman (who I understood that she never actually met)— “Poem For His Girl” and “Poem For His Ex.” I think the choice to cut out the middleman via these poems is really unique. The narrator is willing to put herself into a kind of uncomfortable position and is inviting the potential anger of Big Logos’ girlfriend. At one point in “Poem For His Girl” she acts as though she is forgetting their shared lover’s name, as if the whole affair is centered around this from-afar-dynamic between the two women despite Big Logos’ attempts to keep the women separate. “Are you writing about her? / I hope you’re not / writing about her” (22). She imagines the questions that the girlfriend might ask of her and then writes “I’m not supposed / to try you on anymore” (22). The narrator wears empathy like a costume, like it’s a kind of observational study. This is what I find most interesting about her perspective in “Poem For His Girl”— she never seems to ask for forgiveness or admit that she is wrong for engaging in an affair with a man who is in a relationship.
In “Poem For His Ex” it is clear that the girlfriend now knows about the affair and broke up with Big Logos’ as a result. The poem ends with a number of hypothetical scenarios. She imagines the ex seeing a woman with limp, like she has, and pictures this woman feeling sorry rather than angry. “I always like you and thought / you were cool / and sometimes I pretend / you’re in the room / and you forgive me and say / you always knew” (49). Even when the narrator imagines being forgiven, she doesn’t say I am sorry. I thought this kind of spoke to her selfishness— she admits her respect for the ex but never actually acts upon it. She continues her relationship with Big Logos and likes to imagine a situation in which her actions are forgiven despite her giving no good reason to be forgiven. I almost admire this selfishness. The narrator is really confident in herself in this sense and this carries through to other aspects of her life— she never really pities herself. Only in “Once I Thought I Was Going To Die In The Desert Without Knowing Who I Was” does this confident facade drop completely. She is also very confident in her feelings for Big Logos and she clearly cares about him a lot. That was very evident to me in the poem “For Big Logos, In Hopes He Will Write Poems Again.” Despite the fact that one could argue he is rather cruel to the narrator by being in both of these relationships at once (I really do think this is a mean thing to do, even if she was aware of the situation) she wants him to be creatively fulfilled.
The book follows the story of her relationship with Big Logos and is split into four sections, each named after a stage in a play (One, Intermission, Two, and Curtain Call). I found the intermission to be really interesting and refreshing. You get a sense of time having passed between acts one and two without having to be present for the action— you just know that something has changed. Curtain Call acts as an unofficial end to their relationship. Big Logos does not appear in that section at all and I took this to mean that the curtain closed on their relationship. I found this structure to be a really unique way to convey the passage of time and change. While I have read plenty of books that are broken into parts, I have never read one with a true intermission that moves away from the main narrative and gives us a chance to collect our thoughts on everything that came before. Big fan!

[Patricia N. McLaughlin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reads like rigorous Jungian dream analysis. A book of goodbyes to all of the gawkers, adulterers, necrophiles, preeners, predators, stalkers, weirdos, posers, murderers, and exes of various ilk; a kick-ass farewell to the animus, malevolent muse of this nightmarish collection of poems. Award worthy.

[Caitlin Conlon · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. a solid poetry collection! I like the feeling of walking away from poems not entirely knowing what they’re saying & this is a great example of this. “Goodbyes” has to be my favorite piece.

[Ray · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not much of a poetry fan. That is why it took so long to finish this one. Some of the ideas were interesting, but I probably wouldn't have even picked it up, except for the fact I read it for another Reading Challenge.

[Rose · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm really enjoying reading more poetry these days. So many poems resonated in this collection. The last poem, an elegy for Zahra Banks, was one my favorites. I look forward to reading more of her work.

[J.L. Huffman · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is a fascinating book by a brave cyborg poet who entwines her personal disability with relationships in general. There is a genderless quality to her work as she switches character viewpoints. I recommend her poetry books to those who enjoy daring writing.

[jc · Rating 4 out of 5]

Weise, in the poem "For Big Logos, In Hopes He Will Write Poems Again": "Sometimes / this is what I do when I am especially / missing you: I pretend you are hiding / behind everyone in the world's face // and I have to say the code to reveal you." absolute terrorism.

[Maggie Lynch · Rating 2 out of 5]

I feel overwhelmingly meh about this one.

[Anne (Not of Green Gables) · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very raw and beautiful collection of poetry.

[Peter Derk · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not my thing, poetry-wise. Although I go back and forth on the inclusion of modern elements like Skype in poems. It's definitely my personal idiocy that this bothers me for some reason.

She DID mention my favorite rock band, Lucero, in a poem. So on that hand, it does make me think there's room for modern elements. I mean, I'm pretty tired of reading poems that have a connection to some piece of classical music.

Here's a favorite from the book. I'm an idiot, so I'll just share the hard-earned knowledge of an idiot reader and tell you that Big Logos is a guy the narrator is into. Not a store where they sell giant signs. Because only an idiot would think that.

SEMI SEMI DASH

The last time I saw Big Logos he was walking
to the Quantum Physics Store to buy magnets.
He told me his intentions. He was wearing

a jumpsuit with frayed cuffs. I thought the cuffs
got that way from him rubbing them against
his lips but he said they got that way

with age. We had two more blocks to walk.
“Once I do this, what are you going to do?”
he asked. “I wish you wouldn’t do it,” I said.

Big Logos bought the magnets and a crane
delivered them to his house. After he built
the 900-megahertz superconductor, I couldn’t go

to his house anymore because I have all kinds
of metal in my body. I think if you love someone,
you shouldn’t do that, build something like that,

on purpose, right in front of them.

[Curtis · Rating 2 out of 5]

(2.5 Stars) This book was the winner of the 2013 James Laughlin Award, winner of the 2013 Isabella Gardner Poetry Award, and recognized by NPR and Publishers Weekly as one of the best books of 2013. I think I expected more than it could deliver. There are a few outstanding moments, but not nearly enough to warrant a higher grade. That being said, I think Jillian Weise is an intriguing writer and I'd be curious to read more of her work. A few of my favorite poems from The Book of Goodbyes include:
Up Late and Likewise
I've Been Waiting All Night
Poem for His Ex
Poem for His Girl

[Courtney LeBlanc · Rating 4 out of 5]

A collection of poems about identity, desire, the body, relationships, and a long poem about two finches that I'm certain means something but I couldn't figure it out...

from Poem for His Girl: "I'm not supposed / to try you on anymore // The dead walk into poems / all the time // Nobody complains"

from Poem for His Ex: "We never talk about you now. / It's not allowed. We have to act all / that-never-happened. // I always liked you and thought / you were cool / and sometimes I pretend // you're in the room / and you forgive me and say / you always knew."

[David Anthony Sam · Rating 2 out of 5]

Weise obviously spent time and attention to her vision of what this book should be. It strives to be experimental, a common aesthetic standard today. After Dada, experimental is a hard direction to go and still have something to communicate.

In sum, it may just be me, but this collection did not engage me, surprise me, or in any significant way cause me to reread. In fact, I skimmed many after the first few lines put me off.

[Patti K · Rating 3 out of 5]

This collection won the 2013 James Laughlin Award. The author has an intimate and
very forthright tone that briskly deals with the fact that she is an amputee.
Often referring to her "fake leg." Strong poems of contemporary world while
also saying goodbye to the past and to the future. An engaging work.