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Silently Inside
I can taste the arsenic on my lips.
It’s not as bitter as tears.
The screams awaken me from delusion. Hollow tendrils of fear and contempt beckon closer on frail wings sewn together by veins and dignity. I hear them scream at night when no one else is listening; when no one else is close enough to hear. Their hands are cold and rigid, coursing over my memories. Blank faces howl back and I am nothing anymore. I try to stand, to shake them off, but they clasp firm on my anguish. They know just where to prod.
Listen and you could hear them too. They live just inside of you, under your skin in the subtle, soft spots where you wouldn’t think they could breathe. Their voices, their fucking voices are screams. Their hands are the needles that puncture. Their souls are burning hatred.
We all live in this. Coldness seeps in when you’re not looking. When it goes away, where will you be? Hands shake through the piss for warmth: converging on your ideas of blasphemy. I’m still inside. I can see you now. It’s exactly what it is that they want you to believe it to be. There is no idea of today. There is only tomorrow.
It’s not as bitter as tears.
The screams awaken me from delusion. Hollow tendrils of fear and contempt beckon closer on frail wings sewn together by veins and dignity. I hear them scream at night when no one else is listening; when no one else is close enough to hear. Their hands are cold and rigid, coursing over my memories. Blank faces howl back and I am nothing anymore. I try to stand, to shake them off, but they clasp firm on my anguish. They know just where to prod.
Listen and you could hear them too. They live just inside of you, under your skin in the subtle, soft spots where you wouldn’t think they could breathe. Their voices, their fucking voices are screams. Their hands are the needles that puncture. Their souls are burning hatred.
We all live in this. Coldness seeps in when you’re not looking. When it goes away, where will you be? Hands shake through the piss for warmth: converging on your ideas of blasphemy. I’m still inside. I can see you now. It’s exactly what it is that they want you to believe it to be. There is no idea of today. There is only tomorrow.
149 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 19, 2012
146 people want to read
About the author
Richard M. Cochran
14 books19 followersR. M. Cochran has been published in Holiday of the Dead by Wild Wolf Publishing, Rainstorm Press's 31 Nights Of Halloween and Signals From The Void. He has short stories published through various press's and publications ranging from Bizarro to horror as well as science fiction and literary fiction.
Self published works include:
Waiting to Die ~ a zombie novel.
Wasting Away ~ the second book in the Waiting to Die series.
Silently Inside is a fiction piece about despair, regret and coming to terms with loss. It deals with death and love.
No Rooms without Walls: An old man takes his life into account as the world falls apart around him. A new evil is unleashed and he is left with an unfaltering heart that refuses to die.
Self published works include:
Waiting to Die ~ a zombie novel.
Wasting Away ~ the second book in the Waiting to Die series.
Silently Inside is a fiction piece about despair, regret and coming to terms with loss. It deals with death and love.
No Rooms without Walls: An old man takes his life into account as the world falls apart around him. A new evil is unleashed and he is left with an unfaltering heart that refuses to die.
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Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
July 17, 2012
I'm really not sure how I found this, but the description screamed at me to read it for a forensics (speech/drama) cutting that I had to share with some people.
The book is a very short and rather dark read, but it was deliciously written. I'm not one to highlight things on my Kindle, but there were too many passages that jumped out at me.
I'm not sure how to describe the plot, as this book is really one man's self examination of his own reaction to processing love, life, and death. Maybe it resonated with me because it wasn't that long ago that I lost someone very important to me, and the dark feelings and numbness that followed, Cochran was able to describe better than anyone I have ever encountered. Some emotions are very difficult to put into words. Some of us just don't process things the way others do. And some of us build walls for the purpose of protecting ourselves with no intention of letting anyone break them down. The essence of all of that is captured in this book. Not only that, but also the release one can find through the process of writing itself.
"The pen is infinite. It can go anywhere. It can do anything."
"I light a cigarette and remove the notebook from my satchel. I open it, and place it in front of me. I no longer care what it says, only what it has yet to say.
It's always what will be.
And never what is."
"I wasn't afraid of dying, I was afraid of living. I was afraid of what would come next."
"I'm afraid everything else will change and I will not be able to follow."
"Live the coldness away."
These are just a few of the many passages I highlighted. If you value the richness of language and the power of words, this book is a decadent piece of rich, chocolate pie ... or maybe I just needed a change from some of the shallow fluff I've read too much of lately. Regardless, it was the best 99 cents I've EVER spent at Amazon, and well worth more. I look forward to reading more from this author in the future.
The book is a very short and rather dark read, but it was deliciously written. I'm not one to highlight things on my Kindle, but there were too many passages that jumped out at me.
I'm not sure how to describe the plot, as this book is really one man's self examination of his own reaction to processing love, life, and death. Maybe it resonated with me because it wasn't that long ago that I lost someone very important to me, and the dark feelings and numbness that followed, Cochran was able to describe better than anyone I have ever encountered. Some emotions are very difficult to put into words. Some of us just don't process things the way others do. And some of us build walls for the purpose of protecting ourselves with no intention of letting anyone break them down. The essence of all of that is captured in this book. Not only that, but also the release one can find through the process of writing itself.
"The pen is infinite. It can go anywhere. It can do anything."
"I light a cigarette and remove the notebook from my satchel. I open it, and place it in front of me. I no longer care what it says, only what it has yet to say.
It's always what will be.
And never what is."
"I wasn't afraid of dying, I was afraid of living. I was afraid of what would come next."
"I'm afraid everything else will change and I will not be able to follow."
"Live the coldness away."
These are just a few of the many passages I highlighted. If you value the richness of language and the power of words, this book is a decadent piece of rich, chocolate pie ... or maybe I just needed a change from some of the shallow fluff I've read too much of lately. Regardless, it was the best 99 cents I've EVER spent at Amazon, and well worth more. I look forward to reading more from this author in the future.
August 6, 2012
I came across Silently Inside in a Goodreads giveaway. When my copy arrived, I dove right in since it is a very brief book. I'm not sure how to go about classifying it - at times it felt more like poetry than a novel, which is perhaps what the author was going for. Overall, I finished the book somewhat confused, not because the story didn't make sense or because Richard Cochran is a poor writer, but because the style really threw me off. It was a very unique reading experience.
I think my problem with Silently Inside was simply that the story was generally depressing and dark and somewhat over-dramatic. I was apparent that the story was very personal to the author and came from a very dark place inside of him, but I couldn't connect with it.
I'm definitely interested in checking out something else from the author as his style is very different than other things I've read, but in the end Silently Inside just wasn't for me.
I think my problem with Silently Inside was simply that the story was generally depressing and dark and somewhat over-dramatic. I was apparent that the story was very personal to the author and came from a very dark place inside of him, but I couldn't connect with it.
I'm definitely interested in checking out something else from the author as his style is very different than other things I've read, but in the end Silently Inside just wasn't for me.
Want to read
August 31, 2012Holy sh!t, the description of this book has me hooked already!
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews