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The Only Constant: A Guide to Embracing Change and Leading an Authentic Life
A tender and wise guide to identifying, navigating, and embracing the changes needed to live as your authentic self, from the celebrated author of Welcome Home
Most people want something in their life to change, whether it's their job, their personal relationships, or their ability to live authentically. And sometimes, unwanted change comes all too swiftly. In The Only Constant , celebrated author and educator Najwa Zebian guides her readers through the changes we must make (or those we need to endure) on the journey to our most authentic lives. She quiets the noise, teaches us to accept ourselves as we are now, and focuses on the necessity and beauty of those messy transitional times.
This is a profound guide to embracing impermanence and celebrating the fact that change is what puts the life in life. With timeless wisdom, Najwa shares her personal experiences with change (for example, rejecting her culture's definition of what constitutes a "good woman" so that she could live more honestly). She guides us through the changes we choose, like embarking on a new career or setting boundaries, changes we don't choose, like the loss of a loved one, a relationship, or a job, and changes we need to make to lead an authentic life.
Ultimately, Zebian teaches that the purpose of change is to step into the world as your most authentic self. A highly practical guide to unfamiliar terrain, The Only Constant is here to assure us that uncertainty is natural. Yes, change is scary. But it's the path to living as your true self.
Most people want something in their life to change, whether it's their job, their personal relationships, or their ability to live authentically. And sometimes, unwanted change comes all too swiftly. In The Only Constant , celebrated author and educator Najwa Zebian guides her readers through the changes we must make (or those we need to endure) on the journey to our most authentic lives. She quiets the noise, teaches us to accept ourselves as we are now, and focuses on the necessity and beauty of those messy transitional times.
This is a profound guide to embracing impermanence and celebrating the fact that change is what puts the life in life. With timeless wisdom, Najwa shares her personal experiences with change (for example, rejecting her culture's definition of what constitutes a "good woman" so that she could live more honestly). She guides us through the changes we choose, like embarking on a new career or setting boundaries, changes we don't choose, like the loss of a loved one, a relationship, or a job, and changes we need to make to lead an authentic life.
Ultimately, Zebian teaches that the purpose of change is to step into the world as your most authentic self. A highly practical guide to unfamiliar terrain, The Only Constant is here to assure us that uncertainty is natural. Yes, change is scary. But it's the path to living as your true self.
251 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 5, 2024
181 people are currently reading
4295 people want to read
About the author
Najwa Zebian
12 books2,119 followersNajwa Zebian is a Lebanese-Canadian author, speaker, and educator. Her passion for language was evident from a young age, as she delved into Arabic poetry and novels.
The search for a home—what Najwa describes as a place where the soul and heart feel at peace—was central to her early years. When she arrived in Canada at the age of sixteen, she felt unstable and adrift in an unfamiliar place.
Nevertheless, she completed her education, and went on to become a teacher as well as a doctoral candidate in educational leadership. Her first students, a group of young refugees, led her back to her original passion: writing. She began to heal her sixteen-year-old self by writing to heal her students.
Since self-publishing her first collection of poetry and prose in 2016, Najwa has become an inspiration to millions of people worldwide.
Najwa has become a trailblazing voice for women everywhere and was name dropped by the New York Times and CBS News among others.
Drawing on her own experiences of displacement, discrimination, and abuse, Najwa uses her words to encourage others to build a home within themselves; to live, love, and create fearlessly.
The search for a home—what Najwa describes as a place where the soul and heart feel at peace—was central to her early years. When she arrived in Canada at the age of sixteen, she felt unstable and adrift in an unfamiliar place.
Nevertheless, she completed her education, and went on to become a teacher as well as a doctoral candidate in educational leadership. Her first students, a group of young refugees, led her back to her original passion: writing. She began to heal her sixteen-year-old self by writing to heal her students.
Since self-publishing her first collection of poetry and prose in 2016, Najwa has become an inspiration to millions of people worldwide.
Najwa has become a trailblazing voice for women everywhere and was name dropped by the New York Times and CBS News among others.
Drawing on her own experiences of displacement, discrimination, and abuse, Najwa uses her words to encourage others to build a home within themselves; to live, love, and create fearlessly.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 67 reviews
April 22, 2024
Quick audio thoughts:
Dr. Najwa Zebian narrates this beautiful and inspiring guide about embracing change, the path toward realizing your “most authentic self.” Since I’m currently in a time of dramatic change with moving, changing jobs, and separation, the timing of this release and my reading it was pretty perfect.
Dr. Zebian’s positive mindset definitely rubbed off on me, and I highlighted several quotes to return to for journaling.
I received a gifted copy of the book and purchased the audio from librofm.
Many of my reviews can also be found on my blog: www.jennifertarheelreader.com and instagram: www.instagram.com/tarheelreader
Dr. Najwa Zebian narrates this beautiful and inspiring guide about embracing change, the path toward realizing your “most authentic self.” Since I’m currently in a time of dramatic change with moving, changing jobs, and separation, the timing of this release and my reading it was pretty perfect.
Dr. Zebian’s positive mindset definitely rubbed off on me, and I highlighted several quotes to return to for journaling.
I received a gifted copy of the book and purchased the audio from librofm.
Many of my reviews can also be found on my blog: www.jennifertarheelreader.com and instagram: www.instagram.com/tarheelreader
August 8, 2024
Very insightful, but a lot is repetitive. Shares relatable anecdotes and is good for people who hate change.
February 25, 2025
Even if half of it is not new to me, her storytelling is beautiful.
February 22, 2025
1 – Why Change is Hard
In Welcome Home, I wrote, the biggest mistake that we make is that we build our homes in other people. We build those homes and we decorate them with the love and care and respect that we want to come home to at the end of the day. We invest in homes in other people and we evaluate our self-worth based on how much those homes welcome us. When those people walk away, those homes walk away with them, and all of a sudden, we feel empty because everything that we had within us, we put in those homes. We trusted someone else with pieces of us. That emptiness that we feel doesn’t mean that we have nothing to give or that we have nothing within us, it’s just that we built our home in the wrong place.
Maybe you recognize yourself in those words, but you struggle to actually build that home within and live authentically as yourself. I get it, it is terrifying to make that change once you know you need to make it. Because not only will you change, but the you that others see will also change and that is scary. So many of us for years want to change something in our lives but feel stuck, and feeling stuck leads us to stagnation.
Will the change you’re contemplating be a breakdown or a break-through? The only constant about this change is that it will break the reality in which you are living, but you must understand that this is an essential step in constructing your new reality.
My therapist said: have you considered that maybe you’re not choosing to abandon yourself [by staying on toxic relationships] and that maybe your body is choosing what it believes is the safest choice for it?
I thought that I was betraying myself by keeping those relationships, instead I needed to see that my body was making a choice I needed to listen to and honour.
You need to honour the choices that your body makes. Don’t look at what feels safe for your body with judgment and shame, it’s not that you aren’t willing to do what your mind knows is best for it, it’s that your body still hasn’t internalized that what it’s living though is actually not safe. It’s familiar, but it’s not safe. It’s not easy for your body to differentiate between familiarity and safety, but the first step toward giving your body that choice is to listen to it. When you’re unconscious of your body’s power, the familiar will be the safe choice for your body. But once you start going inward and checking in with your body, without judgment, you will realize that your body is actually screaming: this doesn’t feel good. Once you allow your body to be seen and heard by you, then you can break your body’s old definition of “safe.” You can break the bond between what is familiar and what is safe. It is only then that your body can start learning a new definition of safe, one that actually feels peaceful and unconditionally welcoming and loving of you.
• Turning inward to my body and asking myself, how does this feel in my body?
• Soothing my body by allowing this sensation to be validated so it can be released
• Setting a boundary for my body by removing it from the environment in which that treatment happened – I will leave the room, the house, the space where I was disrespected to give my body time to recover from the pain it just experienced
I was practicing self-love: the being seen, being heard, being tended to I so badly wanted from others. From that moment on everything changed for me in terms of the way I spoke to myself when my actions did not align with my knowledge. I decided that my body is in the process of changing what safety looks like for it. If my body spent thirty years believing that safety is working hard to prove my worth, it’ll take time before my body relearns that I am worthy just as I am. […] It will take time before my body learns that being punished for standing up for myself is a sign that I’m with the wrong people and in the wrong place. If your body has spent x number of years believing that safety is financial security, which is more important than doing something you love, it will take time for your body to learn that leaving a job you’re not happy with is ok.
It's the not knowing, the uncertainty that keeps you in your place. Just like your body doesn’t differentiate between safe and familiar, until you start listening to it, it also doesn’t differentiate between unsafe and uncertain, until you start listening and understanding why it ties those two words together.
2 – What Stops Us from Changing
Uncertainty is uncomfortable, but necessary to embrace in order to keep walking ahead with the conviction that we must do the required work to get to a place we want to get in life. We must get rid of our attachments to the familiar and comfortable.
3 – Changes We Don’t Choose
When someone breaks up with you, you go through a period of shock. Before you can even assess whether this is a change you want, the fact that someone else made this decision for you will make you feel defeated, powerless, and unwanted. Those feelings are hard for anyone to deal with, which is why you may find yourself spending a prolonged period of time in denial, or just not wanting to deal with this change. You might judge yourself for the way that you deal with this or how long it takes for you to accept it and move on. In moments like this, remember that the judgmental voice isn’t yours. It is internalized from your environment.
Allow yourself to grieve the reality that you thought you had. Let yourself feel the fear and uncertainty for what lies ahead.
Formula for radical acceptance:
1. I acknowledge that I want this reality to be different
2. I acknowledge that it’s not different
3. I accept this reality is what it is
4. I chose to not allow what I cannot control to control me
This works for any change over which we have no control (losing a job or ageing).
7 – Propellers of Changes
I realize that there are people in my life who aren’t good for me. I realize that I no longer have to hold on to people just because of how long they’ve been in my life, or because of the potential of what they could be one day, or because of who they were. I realized that I no longer have to keep people in my life just because they are nice and kind. I realize that I don’t have to accept someone’s love just because I need love. I have the right to be selective with whose love is good for me. I realize that just because a person is a good person and they have good manners and values, it doesn’t make me a bad person to say, this is not the right person for me.
The same mentality can be applied to careers and money. Just because a certain job pays you a certain amount of money, doesn’t mean that you must stay in it. Maybe there is another job out there that will bring you inner peace.
As the leader of your life, you are the one in charge of your energy and where it’s allocated. You are also in charge of replenishing it. Wasting your energy on trying to change people’s behaviour is a very expensive price to pay. Your energy should not extend past expressing what you’ll accept or not. What others choose to do is not an indication of the success of the boundaries you set, their choice is an indicator for what your next step will be. Will you have to reinstate your boundary in form of assertion or will you have to limit your contact with this person? You must do what is best for you, what shows that you value your energy, worth, and time.
8 – The Beauty of Embracing Change
Embracing change isn’t about trying to trick your brain into thinking you want it, nor is it about just acceptance or adaptation, it’s about holding yourself as you go through it and trusting that you can get through it. Trusting in your ability to learn new skills that will aid you along the way. You embrace change, all change, by trusting yourself, by choosing to be the leader of your life, by taking the responsibility for what you need on your journey to change. By grieving when you need to, by giving yourself forgiveness and compassion, by asking for what you need and delivering that to yourself. Though at times change might be the last thing you want, the only constant in life is that change continues to exist as long as life goes on. There is much beauty in change, and embracing it will offer you incredible gifts.
I wanted to feel more valued by those around me, without removing myself from environments that devalued me. I would say to myself “can’t they just see my worth?” and the scary part was that I myself didn’t see my worth. Because your worth, when seen and validated by you, doesn’t need to be seen and validated by others. It instead moves itself toward those who see and validate it and stops begging those who don’t to start doing so.
Part of trusting yourself is taking responsibility, accountability, and initiative in your life. You don’t wait for someone to come change your life or save you, you don’t wait for someone to pick up your mess along the way, you do that yourself, and when you don’t pick up the mess, you take responsibility instead of blaming others. You trust yourself as the leader of your life and act in accordance. Write this down somewhere you can always see it: I am the leader of my life.
Set your intention to be present in your life and be intentional to be present in the moment.
Embracing change allows you to grow into your authentic self.
We think that something has to be really bad for us to have the permission to say “I don’t want this.” We let things get to a point where it’s not about what we want, but about what we can no longer survive. While that’s effective motivation, it sets a very dangerous standard. Embracing change gives us permission to change our lives out of choice, not out of having no other option. Embracing change means living your life in the way that is best for you.
Write this down somewhere: I want to get to the other side of my survival mode.
Embracing change allows you to move from having things happen to you to making things happen for you.
Give the credit for your change to yourself, to the person who woke up one day and decided, this reality doesn’t honour my authentic self, this reality doesn’t make me feel wholly welcome and worth, this reality doesn’t see me for who I am and doesn’t hear my voice, let alone listen to it. Give the credit for your change to the person you are becoming, to the person who refused to continue living in victimhood, hoping that others will feel bad for you and will come save you. Give the credit to the person who decided to stop having things happen to them, and started making things happen for yourself. Give the credit for who you are now to yourself. Even as you are working to become the best version of yourself, which is your most authentic self, give yourself credit for choosing to pave your own path. Even if you feel like the person you are now isn’t really as strong, confident, or well put together as you would like to be, who you are right now deserves the same kind of celebration and accolades as who you are becoming. Because both of those people are one.
Write this down somewhere: I give myself credit for all the changes I made in my life.
To embrace change is to no longer settle for conditional love and not accept anything less than whole love. It is to look at the love that others have to offer and see it for what it is, instead of confining yourself to how willing they are to love you the way you need to be loved.
To embrace change is to allow your authentic self to shine through and break the conditioning that told you that you need to be and do certain things to be worthy. It’s allowing yourself to break out of the survival mode that makes you act out of fear of being abandoned or losing people and moving outside that survival mode into full whole authentic life mode.
It is to go in life towards what feeds your soul, toward what makes you happy.
In Welcome Home, I wrote, the biggest mistake that we make is that we build our homes in other people. We build those homes and we decorate them with the love and care and respect that we want to come home to at the end of the day. We invest in homes in other people and we evaluate our self-worth based on how much those homes welcome us. When those people walk away, those homes walk away with them, and all of a sudden, we feel empty because everything that we had within us, we put in those homes. We trusted someone else with pieces of us. That emptiness that we feel doesn’t mean that we have nothing to give or that we have nothing within us, it’s just that we built our home in the wrong place.
Maybe you recognize yourself in those words, but you struggle to actually build that home within and live authentically as yourself. I get it, it is terrifying to make that change once you know you need to make it. Because not only will you change, but the you that others see will also change and that is scary. So many of us for years want to change something in our lives but feel stuck, and feeling stuck leads us to stagnation.
Will the change you’re contemplating be a breakdown or a break-through? The only constant about this change is that it will break the reality in which you are living, but you must understand that this is an essential step in constructing your new reality.
My therapist said: have you considered that maybe you’re not choosing to abandon yourself [by staying on toxic relationships] and that maybe your body is choosing what it believes is the safest choice for it?
I thought that I was betraying myself by keeping those relationships, instead I needed to see that my body was making a choice I needed to listen to and honour.
You need to honour the choices that your body makes. Don’t look at what feels safe for your body with judgment and shame, it’s not that you aren’t willing to do what your mind knows is best for it, it’s that your body still hasn’t internalized that what it’s living though is actually not safe. It’s familiar, but it’s not safe. It’s not easy for your body to differentiate between familiarity and safety, but the first step toward giving your body that choice is to listen to it. When you’re unconscious of your body’s power, the familiar will be the safe choice for your body. But once you start going inward and checking in with your body, without judgment, you will realize that your body is actually screaming: this doesn’t feel good. Once you allow your body to be seen and heard by you, then you can break your body’s old definition of “safe.” You can break the bond between what is familiar and what is safe. It is only then that your body can start learning a new definition of safe, one that actually feels peaceful and unconditionally welcoming and loving of you.
• Turning inward to my body and asking myself, how does this feel in my body?
• Soothing my body by allowing this sensation to be validated so it can be released
• Setting a boundary for my body by removing it from the environment in which that treatment happened – I will leave the room, the house, the space where I was disrespected to give my body time to recover from the pain it just experienced
I was practicing self-love: the being seen, being heard, being tended to I so badly wanted from others. From that moment on everything changed for me in terms of the way I spoke to myself when my actions did not align with my knowledge. I decided that my body is in the process of changing what safety looks like for it. If my body spent thirty years believing that safety is working hard to prove my worth, it’ll take time before my body relearns that I am worthy just as I am. […] It will take time before my body learns that being punished for standing up for myself is a sign that I’m with the wrong people and in the wrong place. If your body has spent x number of years believing that safety is financial security, which is more important than doing something you love, it will take time for your body to learn that leaving a job you’re not happy with is ok.
It's the not knowing, the uncertainty that keeps you in your place. Just like your body doesn’t differentiate between safe and familiar, until you start listening to it, it also doesn’t differentiate between unsafe and uncertain, until you start listening and understanding why it ties those two words together.
2 – What Stops Us from Changing
Uncertainty is uncomfortable, but necessary to embrace in order to keep walking ahead with the conviction that we must do the required work to get to a place we want to get in life. We must get rid of our attachments to the familiar and comfortable.
3 – Changes We Don’t Choose
When someone breaks up with you, you go through a period of shock. Before you can even assess whether this is a change you want, the fact that someone else made this decision for you will make you feel defeated, powerless, and unwanted. Those feelings are hard for anyone to deal with, which is why you may find yourself spending a prolonged period of time in denial, or just not wanting to deal with this change. You might judge yourself for the way that you deal with this or how long it takes for you to accept it and move on. In moments like this, remember that the judgmental voice isn’t yours. It is internalized from your environment.
Allow yourself to grieve the reality that you thought you had. Let yourself feel the fear and uncertainty for what lies ahead.
Formula for radical acceptance:
1. I acknowledge that I want this reality to be different
2. I acknowledge that it’s not different
3. I accept this reality is what it is
4. I chose to not allow what I cannot control to control me
This works for any change over which we have no control (losing a job or ageing).
7 – Propellers of Changes
I realize that there are people in my life who aren’t good for me. I realize that I no longer have to hold on to people just because of how long they’ve been in my life, or because of the potential of what they could be one day, or because of who they were. I realized that I no longer have to keep people in my life just because they are nice and kind. I realize that I don’t have to accept someone’s love just because I need love. I have the right to be selective with whose love is good for me. I realize that just because a person is a good person and they have good manners and values, it doesn’t make me a bad person to say, this is not the right person for me.
The same mentality can be applied to careers and money. Just because a certain job pays you a certain amount of money, doesn’t mean that you must stay in it. Maybe there is another job out there that will bring you inner peace.
As the leader of your life, you are the one in charge of your energy and where it’s allocated. You are also in charge of replenishing it. Wasting your energy on trying to change people’s behaviour is a very expensive price to pay. Your energy should not extend past expressing what you’ll accept or not. What others choose to do is not an indication of the success of the boundaries you set, their choice is an indicator for what your next step will be. Will you have to reinstate your boundary in form of assertion or will you have to limit your contact with this person? You must do what is best for you, what shows that you value your energy, worth, and time.
8 – The Beauty of Embracing Change
Embracing change isn’t about trying to trick your brain into thinking you want it, nor is it about just acceptance or adaptation, it’s about holding yourself as you go through it and trusting that you can get through it. Trusting in your ability to learn new skills that will aid you along the way. You embrace change, all change, by trusting yourself, by choosing to be the leader of your life, by taking the responsibility for what you need on your journey to change. By grieving when you need to, by giving yourself forgiveness and compassion, by asking for what you need and delivering that to yourself. Though at times change might be the last thing you want, the only constant in life is that change continues to exist as long as life goes on. There is much beauty in change, and embracing it will offer you incredible gifts.
I wanted to feel more valued by those around me, without removing myself from environments that devalued me. I would say to myself “can’t they just see my worth?” and the scary part was that I myself didn’t see my worth. Because your worth, when seen and validated by you, doesn’t need to be seen and validated by others. It instead moves itself toward those who see and validate it and stops begging those who don’t to start doing so.
Part of trusting yourself is taking responsibility, accountability, and initiative in your life. You don’t wait for someone to come change your life or save you, you don’t wait for someone to pick up your mess along the way, you do that yourself, and when you don’t pick up the mess, you take responsibility instead of blaming others. You trust yourself as the leader of your life and act in accordance. Write this down somewhere you can always see it: I am the leader of my life.
Set your intention to be present in your life and be intentional to be present in the moment.
Embracing change allows you to grow into your authentic self.
We think that something has to be really bad for us to have the permission to say “I don’t want this.” We let things get to a point where it’s not about what we want, but about what we can no longer survive. While that’s effective motivation, it sets a very dangerous standard. Embracing change gives us permission to change our lives out of choice, not out of having no other option. Embracing change means living your life in the way that is best for you.
Write this down somewhere: I want to get to the other side of my survival mode.
Embracing change allows you to move from having things happen to you to making things happen for you.
Give the credit for your change to yourself, to the person who woke up one day and decided, this reality doesn’t honour my authentic self, this reality doesn’t make me feel wholly welcome and worth, this reality doesn’t see me for who I am and doesn’t hear my voice, let alone listen to it. Give the credit for your change to the person you are becoming, to the person who refused to continue living in victimhood, hoping that others will feel bad for you and will come save you. Give the credit to the person who decided to stop having things happen to them, and started making things happen for yourself. Give the credit for who you are now to yourself. Even as you are working to become the best version of yourself, which is your most authentic self, give yourself credit for choosing to pave your own path. Even if you feel like the person you are now isn’t really as strong, confident, or well put together as you would like to be, who you are right now deserves the same kind of celebration and accolades as who you are becoming. Because both of those people are one.
Write this down somewhere: I give myself credit for all the changes I made in my life.
To embrace change is to no longer settle for conditional love and not accept anything less than whole love. It is to look at the love that others have to offer and see it for what it is, instead of confining yourself to how willing they are to love you the way you need to be loved.
To embrace change is to allow your authentic self to shine through and break the conditioning that told you that you need to be and do certain things to be worthy. It’s allowing yourself to break out of the survival mode that makes you act out of fear of being abandoned or losing people and moving outside that survival mode into full whole authentic life mode.
It is to go in life towards what feeds your soul, toward what makes you happy.
May 9, 2024
Enjoyed her insights and how she processes trauma.
May 2, 2024
Amazing, especially when I am in the steps of change it was very relatable to hear similar stories from the outside world. If you want change just be you and you will find what you really need.
August 11, 2024
Repetitive and a bit childish
February 9, 2024
Dr. Najwa Zebian is a Lebanese-Canadian activist, author, poet, educator, and speaker based in London, Ontario whose popularity "instapoetry" on Instagram would only offer a peek into her substantial gifts. Dr. Zebian gained popularity as the "Me Too" movement rose and would offer TEDx talks and a variety of popular media interviews.
Since 2016, Dr. Zebian has been writing about a wide variety of themes related to her life experiences of love, friendship, honesty, and identity. Dr. Zebian writes from both feelings of displacement and heartbreak through to healing from abuse, rebuilding, connecting, and living an authentic life.
It's that willingness to embrace change and lead an authentic life that most comes to life In her latest book "The Only Constant: A Guide to Embracing Change and Leading an Authentic Life."
With "The Only Constant," the author weaves together autobiographical material and gentle wisdom to guide us toward coming to terms with impermanence and embracing change that allows us to move toward becoming the persons we were meant to be. While "The Only Constant" is a gentle and often tender guide, Dr. Zebian understands that change isn't easy but it's the gateway to "authentic transformation."
From job changes to relationships, loss/grief to simple and everyday realities, Dr. Zebian helps us filter away the noise and guides us toward accepting ourselves in the here and now and openly confronting the obstacles that try to keep us from who we are meant to be.
Along the way, she shares her own personal experiences from change. This is, perhaps, most poignant, when she discusses processing through and rejecting her culture's definition of what constitutes a "good woman." Respectfully, she leans into her own beliefs so that she could live a more honest life. Along the way, she becomes a mentor, guide, and facilitator for our own life changes big and small.
"The Only Constant" is straightforward and practical guide leading us toward and through unfamiliar territory. It's a companion that nurtures and affirms us as we deal with our fears, anxieties, and obstacles in embracing change. Yet, it's also the nudge we need to step into these feelings and make the changes necessary to live more authentic lives.
Dr. Zebian discusses why change is hard, what stops us from changing, how to deal with changes we don't expect or want, and ultimately comes down toward embracing change and leading the authentic life we want.
December 30, 2024
This book about change is inspiring. I will definitely read it again. The author tends to repeat herself quite often. I liked this book way more than her book "Welcome home".
I could relate to many of the things mentioned in this book.
Page 207 (little spoiler) :
"In hindsight, memories such as this male it very clear to me the reason that I hold onto people, emotions, and things is because I isolate moments of connection and just want to lock them somewhere so they never go away. Because those moments were so rare, I never wanted them to change. (...) I did not want to let go of any connection I felt. The desperation that bred in me was embarrassing. Even worse, the lack of boundaries that bred in me was self-destructive. When you are so malnourished for love and connection, the last thing you think about when you receive it is whether it's healthy, unconditional, or real. You don't have time to think of what your expectations are because your only expectation is that you will get a rare moment of connection."
I could relate to many of the things mentioned in this book.
Page 207 (little spoiler) :
"In hindsight, memories such as this male it very clear to me the reason that I hold onto people, emotions, and things is because I isolate moments of connection and just want to lock them somewhere so they never go away. Because those moments were so rare, I never wanted them to change. (...) I did not want to let go of any connection I felt. The desperation that bred in me was embarrassing. Even worse, the lack of boundaries that bred in me was self-destructive. When you are so malnourished for love and connection, the last thing you think about when you receive it is whether it's healthy, unconditional, or real. You don't have time to think of what your expectations are because your only expectation is that you will get a rare moment of connection."
June 20, 2024
4.5 stars. This book took together pieces from other books and weaved them in a way that made sense and connected with me more strongly than others that were powerful on their own. I will probably reread again, if I can. I really enjoyed it and found it helpful for where I currently am. The idea of not saying something is good or bad with a longer view of it was one such example that took pieces and connected them for me.
March 7, 2024
This is a huge compliment to the author: I found The Only Constant to be as helpful as Pema Chodron’s When Things Fall Apart.
Life goes on, despite the brutality it doles out that leaves us drowning in its wake. This is a gentle, well-worded book that embraces your wounds and helps you move forward. It might be just as useful for someone who has lost their dearest love as it would be for someone in need of a push to find a more suitable job. I will revisit it again and again.
Thanks to NetGalley and Rodale, Inc for allowing access to a digital ARC.
Life goes on, despite the brutality it doles out that leaves us drowning in its wake. This is a gentle, well-worded book that embraces your wounds and helps you move forward. It might be just as useful for someone who has lost their dearest love as it would be for someone in need of a push to find a more suitable job. I will revisit it again and again.
Thanks to NetGalley and Rodale, Inc for allowing access to a digital ARC.
June 28, 2024
I give a lot of credit to this young author, for being remarkably wise and accomplished for her age. She’s clearly done some deep work around undoing her cultural conditioning and I love that she’s sharing her experiences and using her voice to uplift others.
However, since I’ve read so much in this genre, I can’t say that I found any new insights or breakthroughs here.
However, since I’ve read so much in this genre, I can’t say that I found any new insights or breakthroughs here.
Read
March 10, 2025Could’ve been a blog post. LOVELY writing style though.
August 14, 2024
Great advises to lead an authentic life.
April 30, 2024
Thank you to NetGalley and Harmony for this free reader's copy. In exchange, I am providing an honest review.
Raise your hand if you love, fine - I'll settle for just like, change? No? Nobody has their hand raised, I see. There's a reason for that. We collectively hate change. Change is unpredictable, requires discomfort, and usually contains a loss that we have to grieve, to name a few of the undesirable components of change. But change is the only constant we can count on in this life. Think about that. Nothing else in life is as constant as change. It's guaranteed to happen! And even if there are people who refuse to allow change, the change that others in their circles go through forces change upon them as well - whether they want to see it that way or not! It's time to face up to reality, change is here to stay. It's going to happen, we can either fight against it - and it will still happen anyway, or we can allow it to guide us toward the end goal it has in mind for us. I don't know about you, but I don't have the energy left to keep fighting change, so Zebian's newest book on change comes at a good time.
Chapter titles: Why Change is Hard, What Stops Us from Changing, Changes We Don't Choose, Changes We Choose, Changes We Need to Make, When Change Doesn't Go as Expected, Propellers of Change, and The Beauty of Embracing Change. I mean, really those chapter titles should be enough to compel many of you to go and get a copy of this book for yourselves as soon as possible. But should you need a little more convincing, I'll discuss it in a little more depth.
Using her own life and experiences as examples of change, Dr. Zebian guides the reader through all the facets of change, invited and uninvited. She acknowledges the pain of change, the losses of change, but also the beauty of change, and the gains of change. Through her insights, the reader is opened to a new way of thinking about change. She doesn't state this as a goal of the book but in Chapter 1 she says, "Maybe change is hard because we focus so much on achieving the change itself instead of focusing on what that change will achieve for us....When you stop seeing change as the goal and start seeing change as the path to the life you want, that's when authentic transformation happens." Once again, and louder, for the people in the back, "....what that change will achieve for us." Through all of her chapters and insights on change, the reader can walk away from the book with the new perspective that change is good and will help us become the authentic person we long to be; change is here to achieve wholeness on our behalf.
I could go on and on about this title and the wisdom Zebian generously shares with the reader from her own experiences with change and from talking in-depth with others about it. But to go on and on might impede your own reading of the book, and I don't want to get in the way of what wisdom is waiting for you to discover. There are so many moments in this title that gave me pause and I highlighted to return to for further contemplation. Dr. Zebian addresses all the "ifs, ands, and buts" we sputter when the topic of change arises. And she does it in such a lovely, affirming way. She is a gentle guide, navigating us toward acceptance of change rather than rejecting it. I really resonated with not just the subject matter but the author as well. We have a lot of similarities as we both are on a journey to break free from conditioning and bring to the surface our truest selves. How we are going about doing that may look very different, but the feelings are similar and give us a connection, even though we will never cross paths. I highly and enthusiastically recommend this title.
Raise your hand if you love, fine - I'll settle for just like, change? No? Nobody has their hand raised, I see. There's a reason for that. We collectively hate change. Change is unpredictable, requires discomfort, and usually contains a loss that we have to grieve, to name a few of the undesirable components of change. But change is the only constant we can count on in this life. Think about that. Nothing else in life is as constant as change. It's guaranteed to happen! And even if there are people who refuse to allow change, the change that others in their circles go through forces change upon them as well - whether they want to see it that way or not! It's time to face up to reality, change is here to stay. It's going to happen, we can either fight against it - and it will still happen anyway, or we can allow it to guide us toward the end goal it has in mind for us. I don't know about you, but I don't have the energy left to keep fighting change, so Zebian's newest book on change comes at a good time.
Chapter titles: Why Change is Hard, What Stops Us from Changing, Changes We Don't Choose, Changes We Choose, Changes We Need to Make, When Change Doesn't Go as Expected, Propellers of Change, and The Beauty of Embracing Change. I mean, really those chapter titles should be enough to compel many of you to go and get a copy of this book for yourselves as soon as possible. But should you need a little more convincing, I'll discuss it in a little more depth.
Using her own life and experiences as examples of change, Dr. Zebian guides the reader through all the facets of change, invited and uninvited. She acknowledges the pain of change, the losses of change, but also the beauty of change, and the gains of change. Through her insights, the reader is opened to a new way of thinking about change. She doesn't state this as a goal of the book but in Chapter 1 she says, "Maybe change is hard because we focus so much on achieving the change itself instead of focusing on what that change will achieve for us....When you stop seeing change as the goal and start seeing change as the path to the life you want, that's when authentic transformation happens." Once again, and louder, for the people in the back, "....what that change will achieve for us." Through all of her chapters and insights on change, the reader can walk away from the book with the new perspective that change is good and will help us become the authentic person we long to be; change is here to achieve wholeness on our behalf.
I could go on and on about this title and the wisdom Zebian generously shares with the reader from her own experiences with change and from talking in-depth with others about it. But to go on and on might impede your own reading of the book, and I don't want to get in the way of what wisdom is waiting for you to discover. There are so many moments in this title that gave me pause and I highlighted to return to for further contemplation. Dr. Zebian addresses all the "ifs, ands, and buts" we sputter when the topic of change arises. And she does it in such a lovely, affirming way. She is a gentle guide, navigating us toward acceptance of change rather than rejecting it. I really resonated with not just the subject matter but the author as well. We have a lot of similarities as we both are on a journey to break free from conditioning and bring to the surface our truest selves. How we are going about doing that may look very different, but the feelings are similar and give us a connection, even though we will never cross paths. I highly and enthusiastically recommend this title.
July 12, 2024
Cracking open "The Only Constant" by Najwa Zebian felt like stepping into a warm conversation with a wise friend. Zebian doesn't shy away from the raw realities of change. We all know it's inevitable, but facing it head-on? That's the part that can leave us sweaty-palmed.
The book is a comforting blend of personal anecdotes and practical tools. Zebian, with refreshing honesty, shares her own struggles with defying cultural expectations and forging her authentic path. It's a powerful reminder that even the most successful people grapple with change.
But Zebian doesn't leave us hanging in the discomfort. She dives into the "why" behind our resistance to change. Fear, limiting beliefs, and a yearning for the familiar are all culprits she tackles with empathy. She then equips us with tools to dismantle these roadblocks.
One of the things I appreciated most was Zebian's emphasis on self-compassion. She reminds us that change is a journey, not a destination. There will be stumbles, moments of doubt, and the occasional faceplant. But through it all, she encourages us to treat ourselves with kindness, a message that resonated deeply.
The book is structured with actionable exercises sprinkled throughout. These weren't just fluffy prompts; they were thought-provoking activities that helped me identify my own limiting beliefs and develop strategies to overcome them.
Now, "The Only Constant" isn't without a minor critique. There were moments where I felt the message was being reiterated a tad too much. However, the repetition served as a gentle hammer, driving the core concepts home.
Overall, this book is a gem for anyone looking to navigate the ever-present current of change. Whether you're contemplating a career shift, facing an unexpected life transition, or simply yearning to live more authentically, Zebian's wisdom offers a supportive hand and a roadmap for growth. By the end, I felt empowered to embrace change, not with blind optimism, but with a newfound sense of self-awareness and a toolbox full of practical strategies. If you're ready to step off the sidelines and into the messy, beautiful flow of change, "The Only Constant" is a powerful companion for the journey.
The book is a comforting blend of personal anecdotes and practical tools. Zebian, with refreshing honesty, shares her own struggles with defying cultural expectations and forging her authentic path. It's a powerful reminder that even the most successful people grapple with change.
But Zebian doesn't leave us hanging in the discomfort. She dives into the "why" behind our resistance to change. Fear, limiting beliefs, and a yearning for the familiar are all culprits she tackles with empathy. She then equips us with tools to dismantle these roadblocks.
One of the things I appreciated most was Zebian's emphasis on self-compassion. She reminds us that change is a journey, not a destination. There will be stumbles, moments of doubt, and the occasional faceplant. But through it all, she encourages us to treat ourselves with kindness, a message that resonated deeply.
The book is structured with actionable exercises sprinkled throughout. These weren't just fluffy prompts; they were thought-provoking activities that helped me identify my own limiting beliefs and develop strategies to overcome them.
Now, "The Only Constant" isn't without a minor critique. There were moments where I felt the message was being reiterated a tad too much. However, the repetition served as a gentle hammer, driving the core concepts home.
Overall, this book is a gem for anyone looking to navigate the ever-present current of change. Whether you're contemplating a career shift, facing an unexpected life transition, or simply yearning to live more authentically, Zebian's wisdom offers a supportive hand and a roadmap for growth. By the end, I felt empowered to embrace change, not with blind optimism, but with a newfound sense of self-awareness and a toolbox full of practical strategies. If you're ready to step off the sidelines and into the messy, beautiful flow of change, "The Only Constant" is a powerful companion for the journey.
October 6, 2024
How do I make change beautiful and necessary instead of staying stuck at the intersection of knowing and doing? How do I stop trying to skip the part that is messy, uncertain, and unstable?
Change is the only constant in life. You can resist the flow of life, but all that does is keep you living in resistance, going against the current of being alive. Emracing the only constant in life eases your transformation into the person you are meant to be — the most authentic version of yourself.
The biggest mistake we make is that we build our homes and other people. We build those homes, and we decorate them with love and care and respect that we want to come home to at the end of every day. We invest in homes and other people, and we evaluate our self-worth based on how much those homes welcome us. When those people walk away, those homes walk away with them and, all of a sudden, we feel empty because everything that we had within us, we put in those homes. We trusted someone else with pieces of us. That emptiness we feel doesn’t mean that we have nothing to give, or that we have nothing within us. It’s just that we built our homes in the wrong place.
I wasn’t having a breakdown. I was having a breakthrough.
Maybe to breakthrough, you have to have a breakdown — break down the life you currently have in order to build the one you want.
Embracing change, allows you to move from having things happen to you to making things happen for you. You’re the one in charge of what comes next. It means living your life in the way that feels best for you. It doesn’t mean to change yourself to fit into the world around you. It means allowing your authentic self to be and being okay with the world around you reacting and changing as a result. Embracing the person you authentically are and protecting your peace at any cost, setting boundaries, speaking your mind and letting some relationships go. I highly recommend! Najwa Zebian
Change is the only constant in life. You can resist the flow of life, but all that does is keep you living in resistance, going against the current of being alive. Emracing the only constant in life eases your transformation into the person you are meant to be — the most authentic version of yourself.
The biggest mistake we make is that we build our homes and other people. We build those homes, and we decorate them with love and care and respect that we want to come home to at the end of every day. We invest in homes and other people, and we evaluate our self-worth based on how much those homes welcome us. When those people walk away, those homes walk away with them and, all of a sudden, we feel empty because everything that we had within us, we put in those homes. We trusted someone else with pieces of us. That emptiness we feel doesn’t mean that we have nothing to give, or that we have nothing within us. It’s just that we built our homes in the wrong place.
I wasn’t having a breakdown. I was having a breakthrough.
Maybe to breakthrough, you have to have a breakdown — break down the life you currently have in order to build the one you want.
Embracing change, allows you to move from having things happen to you to making things happen for you. You’re the one in charge of what comes next. It means living your life in the way that feels best for you. It doesn’t mean to change yourself to fit into the world around you. It means allowing your authentic self to be and being okay with the world around you reacting and changing as a result. Embracing the person you authentically are and protecting your peace at any cost, setting boundaries, speaking your mind and letting some relationships go. I highly recommend! Najwa Zebian
February 13, 2024
There is one constant every human being on this planet deals with, whether rich or poor, regardless of ethnicity or country of origin. What is it?
Change.
In her new book "A Guide to Embracing Change and Leading an Authentic Life" she covers the many different aspects of change and how it affects our lives.
The first type of change that comes to mind is self initiated change. You may be unhappy with the current circumstances of your life yet there is a comfort in maintaining the status quo. Zebian wonderfully addresses this, encouraging the readers to get in touch with the feeling in their own bodies on whether to pursue a change or stay as is.
Self initiated change is just one of many types of change Zebian discusses in her book. What about change you had nothing to do with? A death of a loved one, a rejection by your romantic partner, a loss of a job, or something else? Zebian gives guidance on how to navigate this type of change,. too.
Throughout the book Zebian gives examples from her own life and from others she has counseled. In this way A Guide to Embracing Chance is an easy read - almost as if you were in conversation with the author yourself.
Reading "A Guide to Embracing Change and Living an Authentic Life" had a positive impact on me. I have decided to drop some projects I have a leadership role in, listening to my body's signals, and asking myself "am I doing this just to get approval of others, or do I really enjoy this endeavor?" I think reading Zebian's book will encourage you to reevaluate your current life choices, too.
I received a complementary copy of this book for review purposes. The opinions are completely my own based on my experience.
Change.
In her new book "A Guide to Embracing Change and Leading an Authentic Life" she covers the many different aspects of change and how it affects our lives.
The first type of change that comes to mind is self initiated change. You may be unhappy with the current circumstances of your life yet there is a comfort in maintaining the status quo. Zebian wonderfully addresses this, encouraging the readers to get in touch with the feeling in their own bodies on whether to pursue a change or stay as is.
Self initiated change is just one of many types of change Zebian discusses in her book. What about change you had nothing to do with? A death of a loved one, a rejection by your romantic partner, a loss of a job, or something else? Zebian gives guidance on how to navigate this type of change,. too.
Throughout the book Zebian gives examples from her own life and from others she has counseled. In this way A Guide to Embracing Chance is an easy read - almost as if you were in conversation with the author yourself.
Reading "A Guide to Embracing Change and Living an Authentic Life" had a positive impact on me. I have decided to drop some projects I have a leadership role in, listening to my body's signals, and asking myself "am I doing this just to get approval of others, or do I really enjoy this endeavor?" I think reading Zebian's book will encourage you to reevaluate your current life choices, too.
I received a complementary copy of this book for review purposes. The opinions are completely my own based on my experience.
August 30, 2025
Really great book. From discussing things like a mind/body connection, simple but valuable advice like being the #1 person in your life and looking at why or who you make decisions for in life. It was great. I really enjoyed her personal stories and even got emotional a few times like when she discussed her car accident and her grandmothers funeral near the beginning. This book was really good for me right now. It’s hard for me to make decisions for myself as of recent, let alone stop thinking about other people constantly while I’m making decisions. This book makes me want to be more authentic and just say FORGET THE HATERS because if they’re not enjoying the authentic me then they don’t deserve me!!!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 27, 2024
Great read! Najwa captures the reader's attention with her beautiful writing. She shares personal and vulnerable stories, even dating back to her childhood, that make you feel like you're having a conversation with her - the whole time you feel like you are there with her, perhaps having a tea or coffee as she guides you through what to expect when deciding to make a change, and helps you understand what you can encounter along the way. Throughout the book she asks you questions to reflect on, which allows you to pause and evaluate. 10/10, great read! Highly suggest it for anyone to read. Thanks, Najwa!
April 13, 2025
This book was moving in many ways. None of us are strangers to change, yet Najwa was able to put into words the isolating feelings that come with change at times, especially regarding personal identity. As a recovering people-pleaser, it’s a surreal feeling to acknowledge how much of an impact not people-pleasing has on the development of living my authentic life. In addition to feeling seen and understood through her literature, Najwa tied in movies, scenes from tv shows, scholarly articles, and other self-help books to support her claims and sometimes even to add emphasis to the normalcy of change.
November 20, 2024
Powerful Manifesto for Wholehearted Living
After reading ‘Welcome Home’, I knew that I wanted to delve into this too.
I loved it! It’s certainly not a one time read - one to be revisited over and over.
The essence of the book feels so simple and obvious, but living - embodying it - is hard, challenging and vulnerable.
Najwa compassionately guides the reader as we move through the terrain, getting to know ourselves better and deeper, whilst consciously being intentional on how we want to show up in our lives!
After reading ‘Welcome Home’, I knew that I wanted to delve into this too.
I loved it! It’s certainly not a one time read - one to be revisited over and over.
The essence of the book feels so simple and obvious, but living - embodying it - is hard, challenging and vulnerable.
Najwa compassionately guides the reader as we move through the terrain, getting to know ourselves better and deeper, whilst consciously being intentional on how we want to show up in our lives!
December 14, 2024
I loved the book and have enjoyed Najwa’s previous work as well. The timing couldn’t have been better, as I’m currently navigating a transition from an old life to (hopefully) a new one.
That said, some chapters felt a bit repetitive, circling around the same ideas multiple times. A more concise approach might have been more effective in my opinion.
This seems to be a common trend I’ve noticed in other nonfiction books too. Many could benefit from being shorter. Stretching the same concept over 200+ pages can sometimes feel excessive.
That said, some chapters felt a bit repetitive, circling around the same ideas multiple times. A more concise approach might have been more effective in my opinion.
This seems to be a common trend I’ve noticed in other nonfiction books too. Many could benefit from being shorter. Stretching the same concept over 200+ pages can sometimes feel excessive.
January 29, 2025
This book felt like a friendship, it felt like someone walking along side me during this season of my life. As I made a big choice to end an engagement that wasn’t right for me, this book helped me stay focused on moving forward and living an authentic life. It’s uplifting, it’s honest, it’s inspiring, vulnerable, fierce, it’s a safe space. I love the work this author puts out, if you haven’t read her other book welcome home. I highly recommend it. To anyone going through changes in their life, I recommend this book to you !
July 18, 2025
When I got about halfway through this book, I came across a statement that I will not soon forget. “… you learn a lot about you place in people’s lives when you stop trying to please them or get their approval.” There have been many “yasssss” moments throughout this book, but that one hit me like a ton of bricks. I love Najwa Zebian’s honesty and authenticity in her books. She really has a way of resonating with my “moments.” She makes me finally feel seen and heard and maybe a little more healed.
March 24, 2024
The book you need to get over it and focus on you!
Needed this!!! I love her writing style. The modern examples from movies, books, and her personal struggles made it relatable and the right advice for where I’ve been stuck with accepting changes. She’s this powerful, wise, writer with real advice to get you going. So many highlights, so many revealing moments. Thank you for putting in the work and sharing it with the world.
Needed this!!! I love her writing style. The modern examples from movies, books, and her personal struggles made it relatable and the right advice for where I’ve been stuck with accepting changes. She’s this powerful, wise, writer with real advice to get you going. So many highlights, so many revealing moments. Thank you for putting in the work and sharing it with the world.
May 6, 2024
This book is 80 percent learn by example and 20 percent technique. The Only Constant refers to change and how it is the true constant in our lives. As someone with an adjustment disorder, this did not help me. But I do think it can help those not afflicted with one. There are steps on how to embrace a variety of changes and Zebian's story will inspire you.
I received an ARC from the publisher; all opinions are my own.
I received an ARC from the publisher; all opinions are my own.
April 25, 2025
Najwa Zebian has a truly welcoming and calming presence in her writing that makes even the most difficult topics feel manageable. I am glad to have stumbled upon an author who not only has the gift of painting a picture of what she is saying, but is also relatable in a way which I have found in few books. If you are navigating a challenging time or simply feel unsure in your life this is a must read.
May 26, 2025
Not sure why I picked this up.
Probably helpful if you struggle with change, but a lot of the change it talks about are with relationships and toxic people you want or need to cut out of your life. Not relevant to me, or to people I interact with. But if you do struggle with that and setting boundaries it may be helpful!
Probably helpful if you struggle with change, but a lot of the change it talks about are with relationships and toxic people you want or need to cut out of your life. Not relevant to me, or to people I interact with. But if you do struggle with that and setting boundaries it may be helpful!
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