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You Are a Miserable Excuse for a Hero: A 'Just Make a Choice!' Adventure
The Just Make a Choice Adventure Series is narrated by 'You', i.e. every ambivalent thirty-something on the planet. You want to make choices and define your life but what if you get it wrong? What if you can't go back and do it over again?
In You Are a Miserable Excuse for a Hero the pretty girl you went out with last night has been kidnapped and you're expected to save her. Trouble is, what if saving her from the kidnappers will look like some sort of commitment?
Luckily, every chapter offers you a variety of chances to save the girl, or to give up and run away. By making choices about the fate of Julia, you will also find yourself re-evaluating your life in a way you've been trying to avoid since leaving school. It's your story. All you have to do is make a choice!
In You Are a Miserable Excuse for a Hero the pretty girl you went out with last night has been kidnapped and you're expected to save her. Trouble is, what if saving her from the kidnappers will look like some sort of commitment?
Luckily, every chapter offers you a variety of chances to save the girl, or to give up and run away. By making choices about the fate of Julia, you will also find yourself re-evaluating your life in a way you've been trying to avoid since leaving school. It's your story. All you have to do is make a choice!
208 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 27, 2008
3 people are currently reading
117 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
November 10, 2009
I still haven't decided if this was worth even the minimal brain activity... every time i found myself laughing hysterically, vowing it to be the funniest thing i've read since confederacy of dunces, i would turn the page and find it had gone downhill so fast i'd want to burn it just to deal with the nonsensical boredom i had subjected myself to.
there's nothing incredible about his writing, his wit, his humor, or even his ideas-- yet...i really laughed a lot while reading it.
i only paid $1.90 for it, and i can't vouch for it being worth any more than that-- but if you can find it for cheap and you have nothing else to do, then read it. i don't regret it, but there's no way i'm paying a penny for the second book.
there's nothing incredible about his writing, his wit, his humor, or even his ideas-- yet...i really laughed a lot while reading it.
i only paid $1.90 for it, and i can't vouch for it being worth any more than that-- but if you can find it for cheap and you have nothing else to do, then read it. i don't regret it, but there's no way i'm paying a penny for the second book.
June 21, 2013
I spent most of the time I was reading this laughing my ass off, it was one of the funniest thing's I've read in a long time. But... , well sadly there's a lot of "but's".
When I say I laughed my ass of the whole time I was reading it that's true, but I'd say at least half the time I was "reading" this I wasn't actually reading any words, just flipping through pages. In most CYOA style books when you come to a choice it will frequently be more than just two and some of the paths will have a few different pages that lead to them. This book did not follow that but simply ended each choice by branching out into two different directions. I'm sure this made writing the book to be much easier but it made re-reading it (one of a CYOA style book's normal selling points) incredibly tedious.
Another thing that at first made the book so well but got old really fast was what an utter douche bag the books character is. The original CYOA books kept as little as possible about "you" from seeping into the story because the author knew the more of that character was on the page the less the reader could identify as them. Powers seems to totally disregard that, which could have worked really well if it was presented properly. This is not a "choose YOUR own adventure" story but a "Choose THE adventure" story. It seems none of the stories presents the books "hero" as anything other than the worlds biggest douche bag, and if you go into this book thinking of him as "You" your going to leave with a very sour taste in your mouth.
When I say I laughed my ass of the whole time I was reading it that's true, but I'd say at least half the time I was "reading" this I wasn't actually reading any words, just flipping through pages. In most CYOA style books when you come to a choice it will frequently be more than just two and some of the paths will have a few different pages that lead to them. This book did not follow that but simply ended each choice by branching out into two different directions. I'm sure this made writing the book to be much easier but it made re-reading it (one of a CYOA style book's normal selling points) incredibly tedious.
Another thing that at first made the book so well but got old really fast was what an utter douche bag the books character is. The original CYOA books kept as little as possible about "you" from seeping into the story because the author knew the more of that character was on the page the less the reader could identify as them. Powers seems to totally disregard that, which could have worked really well if it was presented properly. This is not a "choose YOUR own adventure" story but a "Choose THE adventure" story. It seems none of the stories presents the books "hero" as anything other than the worlds biggest douche bag, and if you go into this book thinking of him as "You" your going to leave with a very sour taste in your mouth.
December 6, 2017
I love the idea of a choose your own adventure for slackers, but I didn't find it funny. There were some moments where I laughed out loud, but not many. Then again, I did not read through every possible scenario. I found that in some of them you just died too quickly, or your story ended right away and I got sick of back-tracking. I think there should have been fewer choices. I think that would make it funnier, and more engaging. It's a fun book, just not as fun as I expected it to be.
January 21, 2021
I had to have read this in like 2008-2009.
October 23, 2015
Even if you've never read any CYOA style books before, this should appeal to anyone looking for a dose of irreverent, pop-surrealist comedy that's as self-aware as it is hilarious.
You Are a Miserable Excuse for a Hero starts with a miserable excuse for a human being: a washed up thirty-something still trying to become an actor while simultaneously avoiding any sort of real life responsibility. Within short order, however, you are catapulted into a tangled mess of responsibilities that could have you alternatively killing dudes with your bare hands or rushing across town to get your ex-girlfriend an abortion. At one point, your entire existence is erased as every building you leave from blows up seconds later. About the only ending that I found to be a dud was the "sitting at home and getting drunk by yourself" ending, but then again it does have some metafictional value.
To sum up , if you're looking for cross-genre adventure, you'll get it. If you're looking for existential disappointment wrapped in a satire, you'll get it. But most of all, if you're looking for a laugh, you'll definitely get lots of those, unless you're a square who has never watched a bad movie/television show, in which case, you'll probably get left out.
You Are a Miserable Excuse for a Hero starts with a miserable excuse for a human being: a washed up thirty-something still trying to become an actor while simultaneously avoiding any sort of real life responsibility. Within short order, however, you are catapulted into a tangled mess of responsibilities that could have you alternatively killing dudes with your bare hands or rushing across town to get your ex-girlfriend an abortion. At one point, your entire existence is erased as every building you leave from blows up seconds later. About the only ending that I found to be a dud was the "sitting at home and getting drunk by yourself" ending, but then again it does have some metafictional value.
To sum up , if you're looking for cross-genre adventure, you'll get it. If you're looking for existential disappointment wrapped in a satire, you'll get it. But most of all, if you're looking for a laugh, you'll definitely get lots of those, unless you're a square who has never watched a bad movie/television show, in which case, you'll probably get left out.
January 30, 2015
I also heard this described on the NPR Books podcast, and was totally enamored with the idea...I loved the Choose Your Own Adventure series as a kid (actually still have 4 books in my library) and thought the idea of a grownup version is hilarious. What was the excerpt on the podcast? Something like: To go to your parents house to beg for $150,000, turn to page 143. To have revenge sex with your ex-girlfriend, turn to page 88. Brilliant.
p.s. I enjoyed the intro on the podcast in which the host floated the idea that the CYOA series was ultimately a lesson in the futility of choice, as no matter what you do, you will eventually end up at a result that is already written, and partially unavoidable. Hadn't thought of that before.
p.p.s. I just started reading it this morning, and so far I've read to two "The end"s. I broke my spine in one, and killed off the insurgency in Iraq in the other. It's funny, go get it.
p.p.p.s. I think I've finished reading this book--I'm not positive I read through all of the possible endings, but what fun! It's a blast to briefly step into the shoes of a total shit bag. ;)
p.s. I enjoyed the intro on the podcast in which the host floated the idea that the CYOA series was ultimately a lesson in the futility of choice, as no matter what you do, you will eventually end up at a result that is already written, and partially unavoidable. Hadn't thought of that before.
p.p.s. I just started reading it this morning, and so far I've read to two "The end"s. I broke my spine in one, and killed off the insurgency in Iraq in the other. It's funny, go get it.
p.p.p.s. I think I've finished reading this book--I'm not positive I read through all of the possible endings, but what fun! It's a blast to briefly step into the shoes of a total shit bag. ;)
January 4, 2009
This is certainly a leg up from the "Choose Your Own Adventure Books" of my childhood. Sarcastic and filled with semi-realistic but very amusing narrations such as (paraphrased) "Your Participation In The Fantstic Orgy In The Basement" or "You Decide To Call Your Ex For Some Meaningless Sex". However I didn't get a lot of enjoyment out of it, or even read most of it. After following a couple scenarios to the end, I found it tiresome to have to trace my steps backward to chose some other adventure and get to the good parts that I saw while flipping through. For its genre, though, I guess it's not bad.
June 1, 2012
A choose your own adventure book for adults, how fun! I went through it a couple of times trying to make the decisions that would lead me to end that I wanted (I did the same thing when I was a kid) but it was actually pretty satisfying even when I didn't save the day because they were funny endings regardless :) If you're in the need for some light reading I whole-hardheartedly recommend this book.
July 25, 2008
Worth it based on the novelty factor alone, this is a choose-your-own-adventure for 30-(or soon to be 30)-somethings with no direction, ambition, or other forms of forward planning in life. Each chapter ends with two decisions, which then simply enough either lead to an ending or another chapter with two more decisions. Not exactly the type of thing you'll want to, or can, sit down and read cover to cover, but it's great for a few minutes distraction.
October 14, 2008
This book is hilarious, though it's hard to make sure you go through all the possible paths that your adventure can take. Some of the twists the plot takes are just beyond comprehension. This guy had to have gone on some crazed binge for 3 day spree of reading through choose your own adventure books, popping no-doz, and watching HBO without sleep.
April 23, 2011
My one problem with Choose Your Own Adventure books is that I want to read EVERY OUTCOME and then I get frustrated when I realize I can't...that being said, this was a great grown up version of the books I read all the time as a pre-teen.
February 9, 2009
I went into it with too high of expectations. If I just wanted to be amused, I might have liked it better. I would have liked it more if the different choices navigated you around the same story, not took you to different explanations to what had already happened.
January 8, 2013
Mediocre. Perhaps this was a good reminder that things from childhood should stay there. As an adult the choices often all sound bad and the story is unsatisfying, no matter how many times you read it. Still, it is the best of the adult choose your own adventures I read.
Want to read
June 26, 2008On the one hand, this book sounded fun from the NPR Books podcast; on the other hand, I don't think I've ever seen a Goodreads star average so low.
June 26, 2008
This book is so much fun! I read it all the way through 30 or so times so I made sure I got to each ending.
I loved it!
I loved it!
Want to read
January 15, 2009choose your own adventure!!!
August 13, 2009
This book is kinda crazy and strange...
September 22, 2009
as with all these 'choose-your-own-adventure', it was too short. and kind of depressing...
Read
January 10, 2010Supremely clever, dark comedy and a throwback to my youth.
January 17, 2010
Wow. This is the Choose-Your-Own Adventure version of Dirty Mad Libs. This book somehow managed to be both absolutely hilarious and horrible depressing.
October 4, 2011
Fulfilled my longing to recapture the Choose Your Own Adventure experience, updated with quarter-life malaise. Awesome.
Read
December 24, 2012Not sure when you can consider this "read", but i've gone through a few scenarios so far. It's a fun take on a concept that hooked us all in when we were kids.
January 16, 2016
A crude, crass, but funny choose-your-own-adventure for adults. Read most, but not all the permutations.
September 24, 2016
I can't help but love this type of book - brings back memories!
November 3, 2008
Great concept, but it didn't deliver.
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews