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The Meanings of Love: An Introduction to Philosophy of Love
This introductory text offers a clear, concise look at the philosophy of love. The author's presentation assumes no previous knowledge of philosophy, providing the humanities student with an insightful introduction to some of the most prominent writers and philosophers, both ancient and modern. From the dialogues of Plato to the writings of feminist philosopher Luce Irigaray, Wagoner presents six major ideas of erotic love, Christian love, romantic love, moral love, love as power, and mutual love.
This study asserts that even though we have only one word for love, six fundamentally different meanings can be erotic love, Christian love, romantic love, moral love, love as power, and mutual love. Wagoner identifies each of these ideas of love in terms of the special meaning it brings to experience. No one meaning is comprehensive. Each is shown to have a logic and legitimacy of its own. Why each view seems real and compelling is the focus of separate discussions, as well as the price that may be exacted by each idea. The extent to which these ideas throw light on actual experience is striking, but the book is not an empirical or psychological inquiry. How one self finds itself in another is first defined and then explored further to see how this shapes the rational and sexual aspects of life.
This study asserts that even though we have only one word for love, six fundamentally different meanings can be erotic love, Christian love, romantic love, moral love, love as power, and mutual love. Wagoner identifies each of these ideas of love in terms of the special meaning it brings to experience. No one meaning is comprehensive. Each is shown to have a logic and legitimacy of its own. Why each view seems real and compelling is the focus of separate discussions, as well as the price that may be exacted by each idea. The extent to which these ideas throw light on actual experience is striking, but the book is not an empirical or psychological inquiry. How one self finds itself in another is first defined and then explored further to see how this shapes the rational and sexual aspects of life.
- GenresPhilosophyNonfiction
Paperback
First published May 1, 1997
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June 13, 2026Quotes from my notes app:
I find that caring about another has the curious effect of making me more aware of myself.
Plato's characterization of love as the striving for what is best and most beautiful
Gradually we realize that physical beauty is transcended by moral beauty and intellectual beauty because the latter two are more universal, more enduring
As Socrates says to Alcibiades, "you offer me the merest appearance of beauty, and in return you want the thing itself, gold in exchange for bronze"
Nobody is surprised when someone acts to pursue his own interests or defends himself from attack or seeks to save his own life. This is natural, we say. But there are times when we find someone actually giving up his own interest or even going so far as to sacrifice his life for another. We may regard such astonishing acts as admirable or as foolish but they nonetheless are evidence of this godlike ability to transcend what is "natural" and to do things that are wholly unexpected or unnecessary.
The relationship to God -absolute transcendence- not only guarantees my freedom but enables me to accept the limitations of others as well as to respect the dignity of their freedom, no matter how it affects me.
Only the fact that I and the other person are mutually related to God's transcendence enables us to overcome one another's limitations.
"Forgiving," says Arendt, "is the only reaction which does not merely re-act but acts anew and unexpectedly, unconditioned by the act which provoked it and therefore freeing from its consequences both the one who forgives and the one who is forgiven."
"Every man is in the same position of relying upon a freedom that he did not give himself.
The ability to live with one's own freedom and to accept the freedom of others depends upon the acknowledgment of its "givenness," that it is God's grace.
This self sacrificial impulse prompted by the radical freedom in Christian love, is what makes romantic love so daring and breathtakingly exciting.
It is the unity of body and soul that constitutes a person and thus it is only in the totality of a fully committed relationship that sexual relations are legitimized (humanized).
He concedes that loving friends are a necessity of life, because they help us to correct our judgments
A Hobbesian might well argue that at bottom what we desire most intensely is love and what we fear most seriously is the loss of love.
For better or for worse I am confronted with an image of myself derived from others.
We are defenceless, even enslaved, by the freedom of others to see, evaluate and judge us as they please.
It is her real presence that I want. Yes, I want to "possess" her body, but only insofar as she is identified with it. Otherwise she would have eluded me.
What the self really seems to want, says Sartre, is that the beloved should somehow "will its own captivity" so that the love given is both free and yet securely possessed by the lover
Human beings are different from the rest of nature because we have the capacity to choose the means for the actualization of our potential. This is what makes us moral creatures: there are better and worse (or, right and wrong) ways for us to pursue excellence. Our choice of friends is therefore quite crucial, because in Aristotle's view they are necessary for the achievement of excellence.
Regardless of our attitude about religion, there is something very compelling about this radical image of self-giving as the epitome of love. One can hardly argue with it.
I find that caring about another has the curious effect of making me more aware of myself.
Plato's characterization of love as the striving for what is best and most beautiful
Gradually we realize that physical beauty is transcended by moral beauty and intellectual beauty because the latter two are more universal, more enduring
As Socrates says to Alcibiades, "you offer me the merest appearance of beauty, and in return you want the thing itself, gold in exchange for bronze"
Nobody is surprised when someone acts to pursue his own interests or defends himself from attack or seeks to save his own life. This is natural, we say. But there are times when we find someone actually giving up his own interest or even going so far as to sacrifice his life for another. We may regard such astonishing acts as admirable or as foolish but they nonetheless are evidence of this godlike ability to transcend what is "natural" and to do things that are wholly unexpected or unnecessary.
The relationship to God -absolute transcendence- not only guarantees my freedom but enables me to accept the limitations of others as well as to respect the dignity of their freedom, no matter how it affects me.
Only the fact that I and the other person are mutually related to God's transcendence enables us to overcome one another's limitations.
"Forgiving," says Arendt, "is the only reaction which does not merely re-act but acts anew and unexpectedly, unconditioned by the act which provoked it and therefore freeing from its consequences both the one who forgives and the one who is forgiven."
"Every man is in the same position of relying upon a freedom that he did not give himself.
The ability to live with one's own freedom and to accept the freedom of others depends upon the acknowledgment of its "givenness," that it is God's grace.
This self sacrificial impulse prompted by the radical freedom in Christian love, is what makes romantic love so daring and breathtakingly exciting.
It is the unity of body and soul that constitutes a person and thus it is only in the totality of a fully committed relationship that sexual relations are legitimized (humanized).
He concedes that loving friends are a necessity of life, because they help us to correct our judgments
A Hobbesian might well argue that at bottom what we desire most intensely is love and what we fear most seriously is the loss of love.
For better or for worse I am confronted with an image of myself derived from others.
We are defenceless, even enslaved, by the freedom of others to see, evaluate and judge us as they please.
It is her real presence that I want. Yes, I want to "possess" her body, but only insofar as she is identified with it. Otherwise she would have eluded me.
What the self really seems to want, says Sartre, is that the beloved should somehow "will its own captivity" so that the love given is both free and yet securely possessed by the lover
Human beings are different from the rest of nature because we have the capacity to choose the means for the actualization of our potential. This is what makes us moral creatures: there are better and worse (or, right and wrong) ways for us to pursue excellence. Our choice of friends is therefore quite crucial, because in Aristotle's view they are necessary for the achievement of excellence.
Regardless of our attitude about religion, there is something very compelling about this radical image of self-giving as the epitome of love. One can hardly argue with it.
September 8, 2021
It does what the title says, an introduction. The sections are mechanically divided, if sometimes forced (I don't think I see a lot actually on "the role of reason" when Sartre is discussed, for example...). I particularly liked the chapters on Christian love with an unusual emphasis on freedom; on romantic love drawing parallels between Tristan/Isolde and Abelard/Heloise; and on friendship that pairs Aristotle and Irigaray, with surprising success.
June 30, 2012
This was a very readable treatise on love. It gave some great background on different ideas of love including the history of their development. This is the second book on love that gave such a prominent place to Christian ideas. I'm glad to see them included; religion has had a great influence on our emotions.
October 29, 2014
Clear and concise, edifying, perfect balance of rationality and romanticism on such a fine topic.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews