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Handstead New Town Mystery #1
Horse's Arse
Handstead New Town was a North Manchester overspill and an unholy dump. As only they could, the Police used it as a penal posting. Worst amongst the residents of Handstead were the Tree Top Mafia, a gang of violent thugs who terrorised their neighbourhood, the town and surrounding districts. They, and the officers doomed to serve at Handstead wrestled constantly for dominance. True stoics, the police officers resolved to make a difference in a town they called Horses Arse. Each group recognised something of themselves in the other. Not quite mutual respect, but something. This is the story of some of those Police officers; The Brothers, Psycho, Bovril, Pizza and others, a group of hooligans in uniform and their journey through manic excess, despair and finally some form of salvation. Police officers like these used to exist but their like have passed on. Only accounts like this one serve to remind us that once upon a time, police officers just got on with policing.
334 pages, Paperback
First published January 11, 2006
22 people are currently reading
172 people want to read
About the author
Charlie Owen
11 books29 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name. See this thread for more information.
Charlie Owen enjoyed a thirty-year career in the police service, serving with two forces in the Home Counties and London, reaching the rank of Inspector. He recently commenced a second career in the security services department of an investment bank. Charlie Owen is married with six children.
Series:
* Handstead New Town Mystery
Charlie Owen enjoyed a thirty-year career in the police service, serving with two forces in the Home Counties and London, reaching the rank of Inspector. He recently commenced a second career in the security services department of an investment bank. Charlie Owen is married with six children.
Series:
* Handstead New Town Mystery
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 45 reviews
August 13, 2019
First: Don't be put off by the title. "Horse's Arse" is a reference to a fictional town that is lower-socioeconomic with a Police force comprised largely of officers who had been placed there following some form of discipline.
This book is a rollercoaster of a ride with some teary moments and some fantastic humour. Given that the novel was set in the 1970s it was a delight to see the Police rely on old fashioned telephone technology.
This book is a rollercoaster of a ride with some teary moments and some fantastic humour. Given that the novel was set in the 1970s it was a delight to see the Police rely on old fashioned telephone technology.
January 22, 2009
Stunning debut from a former police officer. I wasn't sure at first if I was going to enjoy it as it's set before my time and police corruption is pretty much frowned on these days. The villains and police officers are not really all that different as they both enjoy lots of violence. However, strangely you do seem to warm the main characters even though the cops are little more than thugs themselves. Can't wait to read more from this author
December 29, 2018
Fantastic story
In my opinion there is nothing to dislike in this novel. The characters are well thought out and as a retired cop myself I could relate well with these characters. Every force at that time had your characters which identify with Pizza, Psycho, Piggy, Ally and the brothers Grimm. Also the neds are realistic of the time. Looking forward to reading Foxtrot Oscar
In my opinion there is nothing to dislike in this novel. The characters are well thought out and as a retired cop myself I could relate well with these characters. Every force at that time had your characters which identify with Pizza, Psycho, Piggy, Ally and the brothers Grimm. Also the neds are realistic of the time. Looking forward to reading Foxtrot Oscar
January 9, 2021
Hilarious, sad, wicked
Above are some of the skills and emotions needed to survive being a police officer. Charlie Owen has mastered the skill as an author to allow you into the lives of officers, as well as the stories. Although a work of fiction, the burning desire to know if any of the stories are true ?
Above are some of the skills and emotions needed to survive being a police officer. Charlie Owen has mastered the skill as an author to allow you into the lives of officers, as well as the stories. Although a work of fiction, the burning desire to know if any of the stories are true ?
May 21, 2021
Picked it up at a charity shop. It was Ok, some nice humour, some brutal scenes, but got the impression the author was trying to many things out in the book. I would read another, but only to find out how things continue, they would also need to be found in a charity shop.
November 29, 2022
Oh my word, what a fabulous book. This was recommended to me by an ex-policemen when I was researching police procedures. Scary to think this actually happened, and probably still does. I wasn't surprised by a lot of it but it was still an eye-opener.
March 25, 2025
I picked this up in a charity shop and it was an easy, light reading for a city break. The plot is not great, but the characters are quite interesting. Can only assume that the style of this author will get better as he writes more.
February 26, 2018
At the beginning I laughed a bit. But the steady stream of noxious filth and violence took its toll. DNF.
February 22, 2019
This is an utterly superb book and the rest of the series is equally brilliant. My only wish is that there were more than just four books in the series.
March 17, 2021
Bloody fantastic
I have read this book about 5 times now and still makes me laugh out loud every time ,its absolutely brilliant read
I have read this book about 5 times now and still makes me laugh out loud every time ,its absolutely brilliant read
November 18, 2021
Absolutely brilliant, close to the knuckle with a non fictional twist. What an ability the author has. Wish Charlie was my shift inspector what a laugh we would have had.
April 14, 2022
Such a great book, some of the things I did laugh a lot at with regards to how policing was back in the day.
February 6, 2023
Funny, brutal, misogyny.
April 25, 2023
Definitely a boys book! Some of it was very sweetly written and characters, although very flawed, were quite moving in their way.
May 21, 2024
Lots of laughs and brutal humour from a fictional 1970s police station. Chapter Five is a real eye opener after you've read the first four chapters.
October 4, 2024
Amazing, not some I'd usually read but it was recommended by a British mate who I work with as cops in Australia.
This is funny, brutal and well written. I will be recommending it on. 5/5
This is funny, brutal and well written. I will be recommending it on. 5/5
June 17, 2020
not my cup of tea, got bored after the first few chapters
April 19, 2024
This is my third time I read them.If you need a good laugth, this is it. Thank you for a good reading
Kenneth Nordqvist
Kenneth Nordqvist
March 15, 2012
This reminded me of an Irving Welsh novel but without the dialect - the story is good, but takes something of a back seat to the characters. I was worried at first that being written by an ex-cop it would take the high-road continuously but quite the opposite, Owen actually blurs the line quite heavily, the officers fixing suspects up and delivering beatings just as severe as the one dealt by the 'mafia' that kicks the whole story off.
The Handstead force is filled with a ragamuffin crew of hard-arse cops willing to severely bend (and often completely ignore) the rules in order to get the bad guys, sometimes regardless of whether they did the crime or indeed committed a crime at all, as long as they're bad guys who deserve it! Ranging from at their wit's end to the downright psychotic, most of the characters are likeable but complete head-cases and as Owen explains in his author's note at the end, darkly comic - this being a trait of those working in such harsh conditions.
I really liked this book, the story perhaps needing a little more substance for it to be a killer novel but definitely worth a read all the same.
The Handstead force is filled with a ragamuffin crew of hard-arse cops willing to severely bend (and often completely ignore) the rules in order to get the bad guys, sometimes regardless of whether they did the crime or indeed committed a crime at all, as long as they're bad guys who deserve it! Ranging from at their wit's end to the downright psychotic, most of the characters are likeable but complete head-cases and as Owen explains in his author's note at the end, darkly comic - this being a trait of those working in such harsh conditions.
I really liked this book, the story perhaps needing a little more substance for it to be a killer novel but definitely worth a read all the same.
June 23, 2013
I picked up this book because of a quote on the front of the book which said Life on Mars meets The Sweeney only harder, and this made me want to read it.
Once I had finished it I would have to say that it wasn't a bad book and that at times it was very, very funny, and that even though some of the police characters were violent nasty bastards you would rather be stuck in a room with them that with some of the villains that you meet in this this book.
You can understand the quote on the front of the book once you have read it, because no-one in The Sweeney or Life on Mars were quite like, or did anything remotely like the bunch of characters in this book did, but there isn't a character here as memorable as a Gene Hunt or a Jack Regan, which is a bit of a shame.
I wouldn't recommend this book if you don't like swearing or toilet based humour, but if you don't mind that sort of stuff and like a story where the good guys are not so good, but are much better than the really bad guys and proper villains get a good kicking then this is a book for you.
Once I had finished it I would have to say that it wasn't a bad book and that at times it was very, very funny, and that even though some of the police characters were violent nasty bastards you would rather be stuck in a room with them that with some of the villains that you meet in this this book.
You can understand the quote on the front of the book once you have read it, because no-one in The Sweeney or Life on Mars were quite like, or did anything remotely like the bunch of characters in this book did, but there isn't a character here as memorable as a Gene Hunt or a Jack Regan, which is a bit of a shame.
I wouldn't recommend this book if you don't like swearing or toilet based humour, but if you don't mind that sort of stuff and like a story where the good guys are not so good, but are much better than the really bad guys and proper villains get a good kicking then this is a book for you.
August 8, 2024
[21 Apr 2023] This fictional account of life in a police station in a Manchester suburb is explosive. It is powerful, engaging, gripping and very moving. The characters are strong and incredibly well-drawn and the story and plot-lines, clear and well paced and it is easy to fall into the situation and get surrounded by it. However be warned it is entirely without trigger warnings. The author exercises his right to offend. The book is brutal, violent, misogynistic, racist, homophobic and, at times, pornographic. Whatever happened in the Police force at that time it is clear that this book contains glimpses of it, hopefully illustrative, as opposed to totally factual. It was a fantastic read, enjoyable and makes me want to read more by this author - which is probably the best accolade there is.
August 12, 2015
Eerste deel van wat een serie blijkt te zijn. Het grootste deel van het boek beschrijft een dag uit het leven van een stelletje ongeregelde politieagenten bij een fictief korps in de omgeving van Manchester in 1975. Politiemensen die buiten hun boekje zijn gegaan worden "gedumpt" in een achterstandswijk en houden er zo hun eigen manier van ordehandhaven op na.
De personages worden wat onhandig geïntroduceerd, het duurde even voordat ik wist wie wie was. Erg leesbaar geschreven, leest vlot weg. Het boek heeft eigenlijk geen substantieel plot en komt soms wat anekdotisch over, maar dit vond ik niet bezwaarlijk. Bij vlagen erg grappig en over de hele linie erg politiek-incorrect. Gelezen in het Engels, ben nu een hele trits scheldwoorden en slang rijker!
De personages worden wat onhandig geïntroduceerd, het duurde even voordat ik wist wie wie was. Erg leesbaar geschreven, leest vlot weg. Het boek heeft eigenlijk geen substantieel plot en komt soms wat anekdotisch over, maar dit vond ik niet bezwaarlijk. Bij vlagen erg grappig en over de hele linie erg politiek-incorrect. Gelezen in het Engels, ben nu een hele trits scheldwoorden en slang rijker!
May 15, 2013
What a roller-coaster of a read! One moment chuckling out loud then plummeting into sobriety, then back on a high again whilst reading this fast paced novel. The storyline is based on a group of police officers based at a station outside Manchester. Set in the 70s, it made me realise how far we've come regarding fairness and equality. The officers' behaviour range from coarse to brutal, yet I quickly got to like them.
Already begun reading the second in the series - Foxtrot Oscar - which neatly follows the main storyline formed in this book.
Would highly recommend....as long as you're not offended by toilet humour (literally in some places) or the visceral descriptions of some crimes.
October 13, 2013
Not really my cuppa.
I was expecting some violence but not on the level that was portrayed. The sex scene at the starting chapters of the book was more reminiscent of a Black Lace erotic story than a novel about 70's policing. Way too much detail thank you!
The writing was clunky and not really that believable. I know that a copper who served in the 70's wrote the book but it didn't have that ring of truth in some parts, definitely the baser side of the authors imagination, shame because it could have been a really great read.
I will not be looking for the others in the series if this level of entertainment continues (as I suspect it would) throughout the next books.
I was expecting some violence but not on the level that was portrayed. The sex scene at the starting chapters of the book was more reminiscent of a Black Lace erotic story than a novel about 70's policing. Way too much detail thank you!
The writing was clunky and not really that believable. I know that a copper who served in the 70's wrote the book but it didn't have that ring of truth in some parts, definitely the baser side of the authors imagination, shame because it could have been a really great read.
I will not be looking for the others in the series if this level of entertainment continues (as I suspect it would) throughout the next books.
December 30, 2020
A modern classic
I am re-reading this weird of books. Which have become favourites of mike. They are not for the faint hearted and will no doubt offend those who see politically correctness as a virtue. They are well written, very funny and shine a light on a period of society that will never be repeated.
I am re-reading this weird of books. Which have become favourites of mike. They are not for the faint hearted and will no doubt offend those who see politically correctness as a virtue. They are well written, very funny and shine a light on a period of society that will never be repeated.
September 3, 2016
This is the story of a group of disturbed coppers and their fight against the even more disturbed, and what it does well it does fantastically. The plot isn't always the strongest or most coherent but the characters go about their business with such swagger and liveliness that one does not give a flying fornication.
September 3, 2011
Great book,had to take breaks from reading it as I couldn't see for tears of laughter. Cheered me up no end. Having been in the job in the 70's myself, I knew some people just like the characters in the book.
July 29, 2012
Hysterical. A fictional book written by a retired police inspector with characters based on his imagination! Yeah right! I can put faces to most characters.
Toilet humour, belly laugh moments and the fine line between policing in the 70s and the criminals
Toilet humour, belly laugh moments and the fine line between policing in the 70s and the criminals
November 30, 2012
70-tallets hardeste politidistrikt i Manchester. Her er grensene for hva politiet kan gjøre og ikke utydelige og ofte ikke-eksisterende, jobben må bli gjort. Meget godt skrevet, tydelige personligheter, sjarmerende og med mye mørk humor. Minner mye om stilen til Life on Mars, anbefales!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 45 reviews