The Housewife Assassin's Handbook

The Housewife Assassin #1

by Josie Brown

Every desperate housewife wants an alias. Donna Stone has one…and it happens to be government-sanctioned. She earned it the hard way: her husband was killed the day she delivered her third child. To avenge his death, she leads a secret life – as an assassin. But espionage makes for strange bedfellows – and brings new meaning to that old adage, "Honey, I’m home…"

Genres: Mystery, Fiction, Humor, Romance, Chick Lit, Ebooks, Cozy Mystery

273 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 11, 2011

About the author

Josie Brown's forty-two novels are now in the hands of over two million readers.

She has been published by St. Martin's Press, Simon & Schuster, HarperCollins Publishers, Penguin Books.

Read Josie’s books. You’ll get a good idea of her sense of humor. https://www.JosieBrown.com

You'll also find Josie on
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/JosieBrownCA
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/josiebrownau...
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/josiebrownn...

Visit her podcast, where she discusses writing with other authors:
http://bit.ly/AuthorProvocateurApple

Josie is the author of these novels:

The Housewife Assassin Novel Series, including
- Handbook (Book 1)
- Guide to Gracious Killing (Book 2)
- Killer Christmas Tips (Book 3)
- Relationship Survival Guide (Book 4)
- Vacation to Die For (Book 5)
- Recipes for Disaster (Book 6)
- Hollywood Scream Play (Book 7) [2014, Signal Press]
- Killer App (Book 8) [August 2014, Signal Press]
- Hostage Hosting Tips (Book 9)
- Garden of Deadly Delights (Book 10)
- Tips for Weddings, Weapons, and Warfare Hosting Tips (Book 11)
- Husband Hunting Hints (Book 12)
- Ghost Protocol (Book 13)
- Terrorist TV Guide (Book 14)
- Deadly Dossier (Book 15 - SERIES PREQUEL)
- Greatest Hits (Book 16 )
- Fourth Estate Sale (Book 17 )
- Horrorscope (Book 18 )
- White House Keeping Seal of Approval (Book 19)
- Assassination Vacation Tips (Book 20)
- Antisocial Media Tips (Book 21)
- Manners, Missiles & Mayhem (Book 22)
- Gambit (Book 23)
- Underwater Assets (Book 24)

The Candidate (Steamy Political Thriller)

Extracurricular - 3 episodic Novels (2020; Signal Press)

Totlandia - 8 episodic Novels (2014-2017; Signal Press)

The Baby Planner
[2011, Simon & Schuster]

The Housewife Assassin Gets Lucky (written with Deborah Coonts)

Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives
[2010, Simon & Schuster 2014 Signal Press]]

Hollywood Hunk (Book 1 - True Hollywood Lies)
[2005, HarperCollins; 2010 Signal Press]

Her novel, Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives (Simon & Schuster), is being produced by Jerry Bruckheimer as a dramatic series for NBC-TV.

She is also the author of three non-fiction books: The Complete Idiot's Guide to Finding Mr. Right [Penguin/Alpha]; Marriage Confidential: 102 Honest Answers to the Questions Every Husband Wants to Ask, and Every Wife Needs to Know [Signal Press]; and Last Night I Dreamt of Cosmopolitans: A Modern Girl's Dream Dictionary [St. Martin's Press]

Before becoming a full-time novelist, Josie also worked in advertising (JWT, DDB/Needham, BBM&B) and radio (WPLO-AM, Atlanta; WZGC-FM, Atlanta).

As a journalist, Josie has interviewed Maya Angelou, Brenda Blethyn, Julian Bond, Kenneth Branagh, Jackie Collins, Costa-Gavras, Craig Ferguson, John Gray, Derek Jacobi, Debbie Reynolds, and John Woo. Her celebrity interviews and relationships trends articles have been featured in Los Angeles Times Syndicate International, Redbook, and Complete Woman, as well as AOL, Yahoo, AskMen.com, Divorce360.com, and SingleMindedWomen.com, where she serves as the Relationships Channel editor.

Josie's interviews for her podcast, Author Provocateur, and for the International Thriller Writers magazine THE BIG THRILL include such notable authors as David Baldacci, Samantha M. Bailey, C.J. Box, Allison Brennan, Lee Child, Deborah Coonts, Robert Dugoni, Barry Eisler, JT Ellison, Liz Fenton and Lisa Steinke, Tess Gerritsen, Andrew Gross, Kristan Higgins, Jon Land, John Lescroart, John Lutz, James Rollins, Hank Phillippi Ryan, Brad Thor, and Debra Webb.

Although born and raised (a Southern expression) in and around Atlanta, Georgia, Josie is proudly one-hundred percent Puerto Rican: her father was born in Ponce, and her mother was from Humacao. Does this make Josie a Georgiarican? She thinks so, and proudly claims that title.

She now lives in San Francisco with her husband and two children.

Reviews

[Beverly · Rating 3 out of 5]

This seemed like a book I would love, a silly, sexpionage caper involving a housewife and her 3 children. She tries, but just doesn't have time to take care of her kids and do her assassin job, properly. Usually, the kids get the shaft, in her being late for her son's baseball practice and forgetting to pick up cupcakes for her daughter's dance.

I really enjoyed the scenes in which she was in mortal danger and then saved the day with some involved contortions and expert moves to annihilate whatever bad guy happened to be in her clutches. These are very funny and involve some grotesque and humiliating positions on her part and the evil criminal. One particularly memorable coup de grace involves a giant penis and balls in an art installation.

What I found a bit trite was her relationship woes. Her dead husband and her new espionage buddy did not interest me. I know this is satire, but the other parts are so funny and deadpan at the same time, I just wish this part would have been as well.

[Louie the Mustache Matos · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Housewife Assassin’s Handbook is the first in a series of novels, and an intriguing find for me. I really like the way the author played with the secret agent conventions and satirized them. The action is described well and moves the story at a quick pace.

The author is so skillful, at times, that the serious parts are taken with overt seriousness, and the comedic elements are either used to break tension (the way most of us do in real-life) or between chapters to draw common (mostly silly) connections between household chores and assassination techniques.

The characters are somewhat stock placeholders built within the typical espionage stereotypes but fleshed out a little bit. However, the plot falls apart with any real deliberative scrutiny. I may pick up another of these if I can find them, and if they are not too expensive. A middle of the road, 3 out of 5.

[Margitte · Rating 2 out of 5]

Stilletos, bitchdom, sex and espionage - yes. Me me me me me en my perfect self is the heroine. Perfect mommy, perfect kiddies and the right sex drive. Now bite me.

Got the t-shirt, it was done.

Three hours of my life lost. It was enough.

[Sarah Walker · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think this is probably Satire. Or at least tongue in cheek. One part of me says hooray for taking all those cliches and making fun of them, giving a fresh twist with predictability. For playing with all that melodrama in the bedroom. The other part of me just groans. When I was finished, I did some research and found that Ms. Brown is widely accepted as a brilliant writer who, does from time to time, write Satire. If this is Satire, it's beautiful. I just wish I'd known it before I invested in my protagonists. Because protagonist One waffles and sleeps with more than one person (not necessarily bad, but the complete emotional swing kina throws ya). And then she wants to eliminate the other protagonist violently (who I happened to like). Wild uncharacteristic emotional swings mixed with making the main protagonist seem stupid just doesn't do it for me. It was hilarious in places though. And I like that the author's note says she had fun writing it. And she's done her research of suburbia and assassin-world. So part of me wanted to give it a four star rating. Funny. Sexy. Satire-y. The other half beat the star rating with a shoe because, even Satire needs a romance and characters you can count on.


Note: It IS satire. (Jumps up and down). And Ms. Brown is delightful. She wrote me a lovely email. I dusted the three star rating off and moved her up to a 4 (cause authors who are cool get more stars).

[Werner · Rating 2 out of 5]

My preferred format for reading is paper; and that's the only format I support financially, since the only language Big Publishing understands is dollars and cents. Even for a reader like myself, though, e-books have their uses. Writers can offer particular books for free in that format, and that makes it possible to read them first in order to check the quality before you buy the paper edition. And sometimes that opportunity saves you money that would have been wasted if you'd taken a chance on the paper book to begin with!

For me, this series opener (which Brown makes available free in e-book format on a permanent basis) was one of those books I was thankful I didn't have to spend money on, which I'd have regretted. The novel's premise is intriguing enough, and the harrowing first chapter grabbed my attention effectively. We're plunged into the action in medias res, with present-day events narrated by protagonist Donna in present tense. At the first opportunity, she drops back into a flashback (in past tense) that gives us an introduction to her childhood and family background --and yes, that's relevant!-- how she met her husband, their few years together, and her discovery, after he was identified as the dead victim of a car wreck on the night she gave birth to their third child, that he had a BIG secret: the corporation he worked for was a front that contracted to do wet work for the CIA, and he was an assassin, most recently assigned to help bring down the Quorum, a shadowy organization of ex-government assassins who've gone rogue and are out for profit. (They planted the bomb in his car.) We also learn how, needing to support her kids and wanting to better protect them (long story!), and wanting vengeance on the kinds of scumbags who made her a widow, she subsequently agreed to go to work for Carl's employer, in his old job. (That's not as big a stretch as it would be for some women --she learned to shoot as a kid, is naturally talented for and very good at it, and met Carl at a firing range.)

While I was reading the first few chapters, I expected this to be a four-star read. The body of the novel itself (we'll talk about the italicized chapter beginnings below!) actually is more serious in tone than comedic, although it does have some deadpan humor that arises from the incongruities of Donna's job responsibilities vs. her domestic ones. Her reflections about the ethics of what she does aren't approached flippantly, and she's a well-drawn character who earned my sympathy and respect --a very tough woman, morally and physically, but essentially a good and decent person and a caring mom (who intends to survive and be there for her kids). Brown creates a situation that's fraught with moral and emotional complexity and shades of gray to start with, and then ups the emotional ante exponentially with a new development --followed by some more really compelling twists and turns, the first one of which I didn't see coming. (I did suspect the second one.) None of the other characters are developed as fully as Donna, but they're believable, and the author does conjure a sense of place with the southern California setting (in Orange County). And I liked the depiction of family life, and Donna's relationship with her kids.

In fairness, I also need to defend Donna against the complaint of one reviewer, who regards her as a moral pariah because she lies to her kids, at a very serious level. Well, yes, she does (although she doesn't like that situation). But as a reality check, these kids are 12, 10 and 5 years old, with big mouths, limited impulse control, and a child's immaturity and deficient understanding of danger and the complexities of real-world situations. Even if the lies involved are extreme, telling them the truth in a life-and-death situation, where things they do and say could have disastrous consequences, is not a course I'd advocate. Another potential criticism is that Brown's writing includes several episodes of explicit sex --although there's a defensible literary reason for the most disgusting of these-- and revolting sexual situations (in the opening scene, Donna's posing as a prostitute) and some bad language, including the f-word. In Donna's vocabulary, though, the latter is only a verb used in unloving contexts, not an all-purpose adjective/adverb; and I think she probably uses vulgar terms for some body parts because she's honestly never heard the correct ones used in normal speech. Most of the other bad language here is strictly of the d- or h-word sort. These factors weren't what really dragged down my rating.

The principal problem I had here was that the plotting is simply not well thought out, and not convincing. One could argue that the essential premise is far-fetched; but I was okay with suspending disbelief that far. (Whether or not black ops organizations would hire a single mom with kids is a matter of speculation, since real life organizations like this don't publicize their personnel policies. :-) ) But even within the premise Brown creates, much of her plotting simply doesn't stand examination. Some of the major actions by the villain(s) are at cross-purposes with some of their other major actions; several events that take place here would involve the police in the story, at a level that couldn't be ignored, but there's no indication of that here; Donna's reasoning for one major decision is weak and unconvincing; and Acme (the company she works for) would be much more actively involved in the decision-making at the end, not passive as it is here. Also, characters could not realistically suddenly just shrug off previously incapacitating wounds (which happens here twice), and there are other significant logical slips that took me out of the story. The author writes prolifically, but she apparently wrote this novel too quickly to take her craftsmanship in plotting seriously, or to put any real thought behind it. (That's a real shame.)

Finally, a word is in order about the titular "Handbook" aspect. As a gimmick here (and as nearly as I can tell, in the other 15 books of the series as well, though I haven't read them) Brown prefaces each chapter with short, italicized snippets giving supposed household hints that blend home economics with mayhem. These are unrelated to the story-line (though some may have a passing thematic connection to something in the chapter), don't advance it in any way, and don't reflect any things that Donna might actually do. Instead, they're intended to be humorous (often depending for their humor on exaggerations that are completely over the top). Some readers like these (one reviewer found them to be her favorite aspect of the book!); so as the saying goes, "Your mileage may vary." Personally, though, their humor generally fell flat for me; it typically strains too hard, and comes across as weak (or nonexistent) and forced. I found them an irritating nuisance that the book would have been better off without. Good fiction doesn't need gimmicks to appeal; and if the author had given us a tight, plausible, well-constructed plot, this novel wouldn't have needed any gimmick either.

Ultimately, I gave this two stars rather than one, in consideration of its positive elements; and I did finish it (I had to see how it ended!). But I don't plan to continue reading the series.

[Josie Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dear Readers,

Every desperate housewife would love an alias.The heroine of my latest novel, Donna Stone has one, and it's government sanctioned. Oh sure, you need to be ruthless to take on Russian mafia bosses, rogue dictators, and terrorists set on destroying the world. But it takes real killer instincts to survive suburbia. Try juggling the fifth grade phone tree during a shootout with skinhead arms dealers, or driving carpool while being chased by Chinese double agents.

Donna's life wasn't always this complicated. Five years earlier she was just another woman with two preschoolers, a baby bump, and an adoring husband: Carl, with whom she lived happily ever after in a McMansion in the Orange County, California community of Hilldale. But Donna's life was changed forever the night she delivered her baby:

Carl's car blew up on the way to the hospital.

Turns out Carl was a "hard man"—an assassin—for the black ops organization known as Acme Industries. The hit on Carl was carried out by the Quorum, a terrorist cell he was tracking. The Quorum's motto: "Show me the money." Governments and corporations do as they're told—or suffer bloody consequences.

Carl left something behind that the Quorum wants badly. To protect herself and avenge Carl's death, Donna joined Acme. Whereas her hostessing skills rival Martha Stewart's, her marksmanship is second to none.

A good thing, too, because the Quorum has planted a sleeper cell in Hilldale. For Donna, that's too close for comfort. Will she be able to save her family before the Quorum blows up Los Angeles?

Acme's way of flushing out the Quorum is by "bringing Carl back from the dead." But terrorism makes strange bedfellows--and brings new meaning to that old adage "Honey, I'm home…"

Feel free to read an excerpt here: http://tinyurl.com/hahexc

Hope you love Donna as much as I loved writing about her!The Housewife Assassin's Handbook

Read the excerpt of Chapter One here...

[Alex ♈ · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars for a cool idea.
Despite slightly ridiculous plot, I still liked the heroine. Male protagonist wasn't anything unique. Why the heck they made him a manwhore? 🙄
I assume he wasn't celibate after he met her and went undercover as her husband. I didn't care. They could have sacrificed him, I wouldn't care much.
It was clear from the beginning, that her supposedly deceased husband was alive. It's a shame they made him a bad guy. At least she had sex with him - the main reason I clicked 3. Yep, she had sex with the male protagonist and with her husband. Due to the above mentioned ridiculous plot I don't see it as cheating. Even if, the male protagonist deserved worse.
Well written.
I got this one for free on Amazon, together with the next book.
Not safety gang approved, but the heroine wasn't a doormat and it's like Christmas in summer. Literally 🤣

[Anne · Rating 1 out of 5]

I frequently visit a blog the author is part of and enjoy her posts, so I really wanted to enjoy this book that sounded like it would be light hearted fun read...yeah, with death. I did not like the heroine, I can understand her quest for revenge, but her children should have come first and the hell she puts them through letting them think their dad is alive is unconscionable. That she allows them to think another agent is their father and allow them to get attached to him was over the top. UNACCEPTABLE. As a single parent they depended on her and her "job" being in the way of her showing up on time and fulfilling the obligations she takes on at their school and that all falls to the wayside for her job. Why didn't she hire a housekeeper? She's strong in one aspect and a complete failure and wimp in others to an extreme that isn't reasonable.

Sometimes I can ignore inconsistencies and put outlandish situations aside and just go along with the ride, but not here. Her incredibly poor parenting (yes, I know this is fiction)I couldn't accept and made this a DNF for me.

On the positive side, the writing flowed well and I wasn't bothered by any editing issues.

[Christmas Carol ꧁꧂ · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5★

The best part of this book was the "housewifely" tips at the start of each chapter.
I've given 4 stars for this, the humour, originality & the breakneck pace that made this book very hard to put down.
My new favourite Bookbub author!

Edit: Read this book when I was quite new to GR & still working out whether half stars should go up or down. This doesn't compare to my other 4★ so I'm rounding down.

[Madison Warner Fairbanks · Rating 4 out of 5]

A humorous little mystery where espionage and neighborhood suspects keep this housewife assassin close to home. While an assassination is typically not funny, in this book there are more accidental deaths by Donna than you would expect by a professional.

The chapter intros on assassination tips were entertaining and for amusement purposes only. Go figure.
I enjoyed this fast read and look forward to more of the series.
I purchased a paperback copy from the author at a book signing.

[Jammin Jenny · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this comic take on a typical housewife, who is also a bad-ass assassin from the CIA. I love how she juggles her life as a housewife with her duties as an assassin. Not your typical soccer mom for sure!

[Kate’s Book Spot · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky enough to win this eBook from a giveaway on Dizzy C’s Little Book Blog, the blurb sounded interesting and I was looking forward to reading it.

I have to say that this book was even better than I thought it would be – I ended up reading it in just one evening and couldn’t go to sleep until I knew what the outcome would be! It was action-packed and humorous from the start and that continued throughout, Donna appeared to be struggling with her double life as an assassin and a mum but I was surprised to find out that she hadn’t told anyone (not even the children) that her husband had died. However, once I had read the explanation for this I understood why.

An unexpected visitor in her house created more problems for Donna and, I think, added another entertaining side to the storyline. I really enjoyed the mission details and the many twists and turns that kept me glued to my Kindle screen. Towards the end I did guess where things were heading but that didn’t matter where my enjoyment was concerned because I still couldn’t wait to find out exactly how it would all be revealed.

I was pleased to discover that this is the first of a series and look forward to getting my hands on book two so I can see where life takes Donna and her family next!

The book contained some sexual scenes so if you are likely to be offended by this then it probably isn’t a book for you.

This was an addictive read – gritty but funny at the same time, it definitely hit the mark with me

[Wendy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Other Reviewers have mentioned this is book is a satire. Okay.Because it IS tongue n cheek, the plot is ridiculous.

This was a sort of clever book about a woman who is both government sanctioned assassin and a distracted housewife and mother of children. I am not sure I like Claire. I realize she obviously needs to keep her killings a secret, but she has lied to them about their Dad. I did not like that. How fucked up is that? I realize her job can interfere with carpooling and the required Momisms of life, but again she appears to be haphazard in the parenting skills.
The other irritating issue is the author's premise of a "handbook". Each chapter has a "Housekeeping Tip". They are amusing and clever but I could not see the connection between the Tips and the actual story line.
On the other hand, the story was rather enjoyable and funny as heck. It is a quick read. Most definitely not a cozy because of some rather kinky sexual situations.

[Katri · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think I haven't read any chick lit book since high school and I thought I never will..., but obviously :D
After first quarter of the book I thought to put it down, but I couldn't since I have to finish what I've started. At times I got really annoyed by author's constant denials on some facts... Why would you say something over and over? In fact finally one doesn't believe it anymore and it ruins all the fun... :(
On the other hand it might have been her way to let reader feel like Donna feels...always second quessing
I was surprised that in the middle of the book it got quite interesting and went quick all the way to the end.
Although there were some irritating pages it was quite fun read and especially I liked the way she compares houswife's and assasin's job:

What works best on those horrid soil and sweat rings around shirt collars? A pre-wash spray is a good start, as is the correct use of detergents, bleach (white shirts), or bluing. Remember: always follow the directions!
What causes this problem? Too tight collars are the culprits. This problem is doubly troublesome when the wearer has been hanged first, so ask him to take off his shirt before you string him up, and voila! You've avoided the problem completely...

[Ruth · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recently read The Secrets Lives of Husbands and Wives by Josie Brown. I was pleasantly surprised by what a good read it was by an author that I had never heard about before. I was thrilled to discover that she had written other books and I was certainly intrigued by this title.

In this story, we find that Donna has lost her husband. Needing to support her three children, she becomes an assassin for a government organization. The book is funny, entertaining, fast moving, and a thriller. You do become invested in the characters and at points like and dislike the same character. Josie has a gift for writing an engaging, truly enjoyable novel. I will be looking for my next one! A new favorite author is always a treat!

[Maya · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was suprised by how much I liked this one. I picked it up randomly for a challenge because - you guessed it - it has a red cover. Of all the things!

THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S HANDBOOK features Donna Stone, widow, mother of 3, assassin. With a lot of wit and a lot of sass. She's me, in another life, basically. Her husband was killed undercover years ago, and she took a job at the same agency to work on avenging him.

This book... caught me off guard. The action and characters were believable. The humor made me laugh at multiple points during the story. The twists were a bit predictable, but were still well-executed and thought out. I look forward to reading more of this series in the future.

[Renee · Rating 5 out of 5]

OK I am on a Josie Brown roll now! She has me laughing and sometimes crying, boo hoo, all in all I am intrigued by Carl and then Jack. The suburbs according to Josie are just filled with secret agents and little gadgets. Very good story and plot. Cant say more because I don't want to give away the plot. Trust me it is good!

[Donna Peterson · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I first started reading this book, I wasn't sure I was going to like it. By the second chapter, I was hooked! I couldn't put the book down. The characters become your friends and you don't want to let them go. If you like romantic mysteries, I highly recommend these books.

[Trish · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was a free download, and honestly, I feel like I need to go send some money to the author ... it was excellent and funny and intriguing and different and completely enjoyable. So guess, maybe she will get my money, because I'm going to buy some more of her books! Recommend!

[Darinda · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first book in the Housewife Assassin series by Josie Brown. Donna was living the perfect housewife life when her world was changed. Now, she is an assassin. A humorous and fun chick-lit read.

[Deraurah B. Wilson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great Read

It was funny and intense all at the same time. The main character is so relatable. I really enjoyed this book. Looking forward to the rest of the series!

[Morgan Silver · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have mixed feelings about this. After the first chapter, I just didn't really like it. I couldn't connect to the main character. She seemed to unaffected by the things that happened in that short time, and I just didn't care for her.
Since I got this novel when it was free, I contemplated not continuing, but I did anyway. I read it in two days because it's an easy read, and I was curious enough to want to read how it all went down.
What I didn't care for were the sex scenes, but I never care for those. (I'm also surprised she didn't catch an STD) They were easy enough to skim, so not a major issue. What I didn't like was that the main character is basically a bad mother.
In the beginning one of the other mothers makes a bitchy remark to her, then to her daughter. If I was a bad-ass assassin, I'd have kicked that woman's ass, either verbally or physically. Hell, I'd do that even now and I'm not an assassin. She seemed to be unwilling to protect her children.
The same with when Jack joins them to pretend he's their long lost FATHER. I mean, WHAT? She has a chat with the boss and when he says it's a good idea because it will help them catch her husband's killers, she's like okay. And as an afterthought mentions that she worries about the effect on her children. But she goes along with it anyway.
Now, I don't mind flawed characters, but with something like this, it's worth exploring. Jack at some point mentions that she should choose for either her kids' safety or revenge, but other than that it's not mentioned at all. Hell, she doesn't even contemplate it.
She's also very quick to distrust Jack towards the end, which he pretty much forgives immediately and is not really discussed. I feel like there were important parts missing. The transitions from scene to scene were sometimes too abrupt, like more things needed to be discussed or more thoughts needed to be read.
The two men in her life are also always ready to go for sex and don't really take no for an answer which I thought was unrealistic and not very appealing.
The main character, I guess, felt a bit shallow, and so did the plot and other characters. I think that is my main issue with it. It's a light and easy read, but I didn't feel compelled to read on, nor did I feel very good or happy after I read it. I had also expected humour, but I didn't chuckle once. It's not what I thought it would be, but because it was still good enough to make me want to read to the end I'm giving it three stars.

[paula dear · Rating 5 out of 5]

Has you gripped

This book has just the right amount of everything for a great read. Suspense humour heartbreak and a little bit of lust.. Can't wait to read book two!

[Suziqoregon · Rating 3 out of 5]

I got this as a free ebook download several years ago. I loved the cover and the email blurb made it sound fun. The tagline “Murder, Suspense, Sex, and some handy household tips” made me giggle. Donna Stone’s husband worked for the CIA. When he is killed, she becomes an assassin for the CIA so that she can help find her husband’s killers.

This is a bit of a mix of romance, suspense, satire, humor, mystery, and Desperate Housewives. I went into it expecting it to be rather light and it was. It’s definitely not something that is anywhere close to literary. The plot has holes big enough to drive several trucks through at the same time. The good guys and bad guys can change sides with the flip of a page and the main character just accepts it without much question.

Normally that kind of thing would make me give up on a book or give it a lower rating, but I can’t because I absolutely enjoyed every minute of it. I’ve requested the second book in the series through interlibrary loan because neither of my libraries has a copy or the ebook. I’m a little embarrassed to say I want more but I can’t help it.

[Emily Jean · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a ton of deep world or character building, but it’s so lovely to hear that single mother and housewife can kick some booty. Generally enjoyable read.

[Mary BookHounds · Rating 5 out of 5]

MY THOUGHTS
ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT



Donna thinks her husband has a normal job that includes a LOT of travel but it affords her the life she has always dreamed of and then Carl is declared dead while she is at the hospital delivering her third child, she finds out exactly what his job entailed as an assassin. When the money runs out from his job, she finds out the strange truth about what Carl actually did and is drawn in a world of espionage and terrorists. I guess being a mother prepares you for coordinating attacks and being vicious and you can ask anyone who has ever been involved in the PTA. She is hired by Acme Industries as an operative to help counteract the activities of the Quorum and other slime.


So when Donna's "husband" returns to her life, it turns out to be Jack, another Acme operative that wants to use her as a front. She tries to get to the bottom of exactly what happened to her husband. There are more twists and turns in this plot than Mulholland Drive and if you have been in the car with me, just as fast! Her partner in crime is now Jack but Donna can't exactly figure out which side he is on and every time she thinks she has the answer it is wrong. This is a super sexy and fun read that you shouldn't miss!




How do I love this book, let me count the ways:


1. A kick ass woman that can literally kick ass as well as cook and clean. Donna gives a whole new meaning to "taking out the trash".


2. The book is set around Los Angeles, mostly in a gated community suspiciously like Coto de Caza, full of housewives that could be 'real" and for the setting alone, a big giant WIN!


3. Super Sarcasm, snarky dialogue and making fun of all that is wrong in the OC, politics, as well as current world affairs.

[Anika · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was free first for all and I loved it. I have already brought the second book. It was full speed ahead from page 1. Housewife turns assassin when husband dies and she finds out the truth (he's a secret agent). Now she's out for revenge. A mother of three by day and an assassin in between. She has been at it since the birth of her last child which her husband never got back to the hospital to see. It's been five years and when she is finally about to tell her kids the truth. She gets a partner Jack who plays the part of husband/daddy return.

This mission is to play happy family to get the people who were after her real husband and also now trying an assassin attempt of there own with a bomb that could wipe out a small neighborhood mainly hers. During this field Op, guess who appears?? The real husband Carl, and now Donna is really in a tale spin about the the husband she has missed against the man Jack who she was falling for and could be falling for her too. That's when things go explosive and I thought it could not be anymore action pack and suspenseful.

A must read cause you never know what's gonna happen next to Donna.

[K.S. Marsden · Rating 5 out of 5]

Now this is a heroine that I can admire. Donna Stone is a mum, running around trying to keep a tidy house and feed her family; she tries not to be late picking up the kids, and watches them proudly. They all happen to live in a perfect community, in which the Stone family seem to be comparatively normal next to the Desperate Housewives, and equally desperate husbands.
But no one knows that she is also an assassin for Acme Industries, and knows a hundred different ways to kill.

The two halves of Donna's life make sense. As you follow her story, there's no point where you think of her as "Assassin Donna" vs. "Mummy Donna", her attitude to life is even throughout. As an assassin she is still concerned that the poison might not take effect fast enough for her to be home in time for her son's baseball game; in her daily life she doesn't pretend to be anything less than she is (she just hides the I-Kill-People profession). I really like how well this was done.

And as for Jack. I'll have one of those, please.

[Alcornell · Rating 2 out of 5]

Aaarghhhh. Meh. Sigh. :-& I am too old for this. Just when you think the humor (or mystery) is going somewhere, the "romance" and (gratuitous) sex steps in to dismantle the whole sequence. By that I mean the plot suffers terribly from lack of development of characters or dimension beyond the level of reality tv. This is no more than a vehicle for nicely packaged, not-fully salacious titillation, which I suppose is (obviously) "to sell books". It does not have the heart of Veronica Mars, or the camp of any of the super-heroes or spies, or the wicked wit in any of the wonderful mystery, romance or humor writers we know and love. If you have read a word of Christopher Moore, Jennie Lawson, Janet Evanovich, or the king of formula writers, James Patterson, (or any of a host of current bloggers) you know there is very entertaining stuff to read 'out there.' This book pretends to those aspirations, but lack of delivery gives it away as a vapid wanna-be, sorry to say. Sorry because the premise was SO promising, and some of the language is really smart and funny.

[Susan Swiderski · Rating 4 out of 5]

It looks like I'm a little late discovering this author, but better late than never. I actually bought this book and the second in the series as a two-volume Kindle deal. (Should be finished the second book in no time, and then I guess this devious author has forced my hand. I'm gonna have to buy the rest of her books, dammit. Tricky... verrrry tricky!)

When I first started reading this book, I thought, "This is soooo unbelievable." I mean, I can maybe buy a housewife doubling as a ruthless assassin in between picking up her kids from school and baking cupcakes, because, ya know, she had to do SOMETHING to support her family after her husband disappeared... but have you EVER heard of a newborn baby who sleeps through the night...???

The more I read, the more I smiled. The more I chuckled. The more I laughed out loud. This book is DIFFERENT. It's fun. It's adventurous, and it's even got some romance. Plus the star is a kick-ass housewife. What's not to love?

Nothing. I'd easily give this four and a half very fun stars.