What to Expect When You're Expecting

What to Expect #1

by Heidi Murkoff, Arlene Eisenberg, Sandee Hathaway

Incorporating everything that's new in pregnancy, childbirth, and the lifestyles of parents-to-be, complete with a preconception plan, information on choosing a practitioner, birthing alternatives, second pregnancies, twins, making love while pregnant, and coping with common and not so common pregnancy symptoms.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Self Help, Health, Reference, Family, Adult

597 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1984

About the author

Heidi Murkoff is the co-author of the What to Expect When You're Expecting series of pregnancy guides. She is also the creator of WhatToExpect.com and founder of the What to Expect Project.

Reviews

[Senda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I seem to disagree with most of the reviews of this book.

This book got me through my pregnancy. Period.

I wasn't overwhelmed by the amount of information; instead I found it to be the only friendly, comforting book out there. While other books were telling me that if I'd had a glass of wine before I knew I was pregnant, my child would have extra limbs and no face, What to Expect... reminded me how minute the chances actually were. When the my overly clinical other books told me to panic if I hadn't noticed the baby moving for three hours, What to expect told me that that actually happens to most women sometime in the third trimester, why I should be concerned, and again, how extremely low the probability was that something was actually wrong, but that I should still check in with my doctor just in case. Essentially this book kept me well informed so that I didn't freak out about things (like loosing my mucus plug one morning at work) and knew what to look out for and when to call the doctor. The first book I got after my baby was born was What To Expect the First Year, and I couldn't live without that either! I don't have my mother around to give me advice anymore, and these books feel like a mom sitting you down with a nice cup of tea and telling you exactly what they say: what to expect.

[Anne · Rating 1 out of 5]

I got about halfway through with this back in 1999 (when I was preggo with my 1st), before I chucked it. I'm getting pissed off just thinking about it right now. There I was, a brand-new mother-to-be, and this ridiculous book had me convinced that every time I farted there was something wrong with me! And believe me, I farted quite a bit.
Trust me, if you want to be a nervous wreck, run out and buy this book. Otherwise, relax. Babies are hearty little suckers. Just because you take Tylenol for headaches, drink a cup of coffee, or opt to eat the entire chocolate cake instead of veggies, does not mean that your kid will be born with hideous birth defects.
Here's my advice, after having four healthy kids: Don't drink a bottle of wine for breakfast, and stay away from crack. Ta-da!

[Jonathan O'Neill]

DNF at approx. 50% (25% skimmed […Ok! Maybe 35%])

This is some quality #PregLit, don’t get me wrong but its comprehensiveness is its downfall as far as my “completing” it goes. It covers just about everything you could ever imagine happening during pregnancy, from almost every possible perspective, though distinctly lacking in advice for any sort of Arnold Schwarzenegger - ‘Junior’ type scenario. This is exceptional in its inclusiveness but I don’t think it’s possible for a human being, certainly not this humble Homo Sapien, to read more than a dozen pages at a time without falling into a deep and peaceful slumber.
I’ll be reading this in reference only, from this point forward, and would recommend it as a good resource for others, though honestly, you can find any of this stuff online these days anyway!

[Mayim de Vries]

For obvious reasons, I am not going to rate this book. What I can say, however, is that while it kept me company, it also kept me well informed. I grant you, this kind of comprehensive infodump might not be for everyone. I can see that more neurotic and insecure person could feel overwhelmed and even anxious; for me, it was just OK. I like knowing things on the one hand, and on the other, the pregnancy was a wonderful broadening and deepening of our family life and not something akin to the revolution that necessitates reorganisation of a whole life.

___

The good thing about Goodreads is the one doesn't have to make any grand statements. One look at the "currently reading" shelf is enough.

Month 1: Apparently something's cooking. A baby bun. And I thought it inconceivable.

Month 2: First sonogram. Oh my, a pollywog on a balloon.

Month 3: The Mothers know. So. It's official.

Month 4: Seedling took a shortcut to Heaven skipping the Earth altogether.

[Ellen · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you have to read one book on pregnancy, do yourself a favor and pick a different one than What to Expect. If you have lots of time on your hands and want to read several books, go ahead and read this one too. The general tone of this book is alarmist and condescending. Unless, of course, you planned the conception perfectly (Why, you and your partner didn't even take Tylenol while trying to get pregnant!), your diet during pregnancy is a model that the USDA would be proud of, you wouldn't dream of medicating your cold, you exercise daily, your desire to experience unmedicated birth is overwhelming, and you beleive that anything other than wearing your baby 24/7 to promote attachment is akin to child abuse.

I'm not quite sure how to explain how this book makes me feel other than this analogy - it felt like going to your doctor to ask for the morning-after-pill to only receive a lecture on the dangers of multiple sex partners from the old-school nurse. While sitting on a cold exam table in a paper gown. While nursing a hangover and trying not to throw up.

Anyway, I do give the book two stars because the section "When to Call The Doctor" is a pretty useful and easy to find reference when something freaky is happening and you have lost all common sense and are panicky and don't know what to do. (Similarly, the What To Expect The First Year book has useful references for when you don't know what to do with your out-of-sorts infant. I kinda feel bad slamming this book so hard when the First Year book was my bible whenever my son was sick.) Surely though, other books must have this handy reference too?

[Liz · Rating 1 out of 5]

How do I give this zero stars? This book should be called "What to Freak Out About When You're Expecting" and, unfortunately, goes hand-in-hand with TLC's "Baby Story" for gross negligence in maternity "infotainment." It addresses everything that could possibly "go wrong" or be of concern, emphasizing rare "high risk" complications that do NOT effect the VAST majority of women. Rather than explaining normal, healthy pregnancy in a positive and reassuring manner, it talks down to women and convinces them that every new sensation or pregnancy symptom they feel is cause for alarm or a sign that their body (or their baby) may be defective. To me, this is just one more way doctors make money off of unnecessary office visits and routine interventions. UGH.

[Jessica · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is probably not the worst pregnancy book in the universe, but it is the worst one I've ever read. Unfortunately it's also the most popular, no doubt due to its admittedly catchy title and unavoidable ubiquity. I'm sure that many, many women, like me, zipped off to the library and grabbed this first thing after their positive pregnancy test.

I had zero ambivalence about being pregnant, but I imagine that for other thinking women less sure they want a baby, this book could do a lot to make them decide that in fact they might not. A lot of people have complained about its alarmist tone and cataloguing of things that can go wrong, but I don't particularly remember that; what I hated was its insultingly cutesy-but-hideously-uncute, grating, idiotic style. The entire book is written in peppy, spunky awful-puns-that-aren't-even-really-puns and moronic-jokes-that-aren't-actually-jokes. These aren't real examples, because I don't have the book, but seriously the whole thing is like, "Being pregnant is a gas! And you'll have gas the whole time your little bun is in the oven... Speaking of buns, you may want to indulge your cravings for sticky buns, but be careful or your buns will get fat and no one wants that! Teeheehee!" I mean, obviously that is not a direct quotation, but in essence it really is not so far off. I hate this book because it makes pregnancy seem stupid, and seems to imply that being pregnant is going to make you stupid. If this is something you're already kind of worried about, What to Expect can be a highly distressing read. I found its tone so nauseating and awful that it made me slightly less excited about being pregnant for awhile. It really made the whole thing seem like a lame project for stupid, infantilized women, and something I didn't want to be a part of at all despite really wanting a baby.

To be fair, I have a hard time with a lot of accepted pregnancy book conventions, beyond just this book. Use of the word "baby" with no article rankles me, and referring to a six-week-old embryo as a baby (or, infinitely worse, just as "baby") completely skeezes me out. A lot of this is due to a lifetime of programming and conviction about reproductive rights, but it's also because I'm aware that there are high rates of miscarriage in the first trimester. Of course it's a personal choice when you decide to think of your fetus as having personhood, but it seems irresponsible to me the way all these books start personifying and burbling on about an adorable bundle of joy so early on in the process... But of course, that's just me.

I'm not made of stone and I was incredibly emotional and excited about being pregnant, but I found the discourse of these books really alienating, and this one was the worst. A lot of people seem to love it, but if you're like me you'd do better off with something else. Honestly, I didn't ever find a pregnancy book I loved (childbirth yes; pregnancy, no) and wound up getting most of my intel from the BabyCenter website, which isn't perfect but is decent and has an infinitely more tolerable tone.

[Kevin Simons · Rating 1 out of 5]

It is unfortunate that sometimes no one tells us we are bad at something, and then we bumble on through life thinking we are good at it. That's what's happened to Heidi Murkoff, who is a terrible writer laboring under the delusion that she is a good writer and comedic to boot. This book has somehow managed to attain status as some kind of pregnancy bible, but in reality it is an unbearable slog through every worst case scenario any expectant parents could ever hope to avoid. The author looks down on her thick-headed audience, constantly stooping to explain for us morons something that was already spelled out for children in the previous sentence. Worse, she breaks up the "flow" (hah!) of her writing with parenthetical comments ad fucking nauseam. "If you're pregnant (and even if you're not), exercise is a good idea (but don't overdo it). Start slowly (no marathons the first week!) ..." and then you want to stick a knitting needle in your eye. The whole goddam book is like that, with pointless "jokey" asides stuffing the pages until the book tries to commit suicide by bloat. Such a thing is possible, by the way. Somehow this incompetent writer has made a cottage industry of this; I hear "What to Expect the First Year" is far worse, if one can imagine such a painful fate.

Are you planning to have children? Are you and your spouse pregnant now? Find a doctor you trust in your neighborhood. Talk to your parents, siblings, and friends who have children, especially those who've had kids recently. Ask about Braxton-Hicks contractions so you don't wind up in the emergency room thinking you're having your baby at seven months when you first feel some contractions. Skim a pregnancy guide; you can't learn everything, you won't remember everything, and there's no point learning about every single terrible thing that might go wrong one out of a million times. Throw this rotten piece of trash as far away from yourself as you possibly can. Good luck.

[Kristen Peppercorn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Am I pregnant?
No.

Am I bored enough to read this book during quarantine?
Apparently, yes.

Am I now afraid of a baby's leg getting lodged in my birth canal?
Oh, you know it!

[HeavyReader · Rating 1 out of 5]

Avoid this book at all costs!

It infantilizes pregnant women and tells them to just go along with whatever the doctor says they should do. I also remember it being very hetero-normative.

A much better book is The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth by Sheila Kitzinger.

The only thing What to Expect When You're Expecting is good for is starting a fire to keep the expectant mother warm.

[Lain · Rating 3 out of 5]

When I was pregnant with my first child, I picked up nearly every book on the bookstore shelves having to do with pregnancy and childbirth. I wanted comfort, a friend in the form of a book, a companion to hold my hand and let me know everything was going to be okay.

This book was not that friend.

Instead, everytime I read this book, I found myself getting more and more agitated. It exposed me to almost TOO much information, verging on the point of overload. You know how medical students become convinced they have every wacky and rare disease they learn about in med school? That's how I felt when I read this book. After each chapter, I became convinced my child had Downs Syndrome, that I had placenta previa, that I was suffering from gestational diabetes, etc., etc.

Now that I have three children, I feel like I'm in the position to make a recommendation -- get this book if you must, but don't read it cover to cover. Use it as a resource if one of the other books you read (I suggest "The Mother of All Pregnancy Books" by Ann Douglas) leaves you wanting more information.

By the way, I didn't follow the "Best Odds Diet" and my kids still turned out fine. :)

[Jen · Rating 1 out of 5]

It felt to me like this book is out to scare moms-to-be. Instead of celebrating how normal many of our pregnancy changes are, this book makes you question any weight gain (hello, we're growing babies here! They weigh alot!)and can often take a hectoring tone. I don't think ladies need that. Check out any of the other fine pregnancy and labor books out there by Sears, Gaskin, Kitzinger, Simkin, England and others.

[Angela Blount · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was back and forth on rating this for a rating, but I'd generally give it 3.5 stars. I rounded up due to agitation over a few of the hyper-negative reviews, to be quite honest. I don't feel that a book this valuable ought to be given a bad name because certain people didn't get out of it whatever it was they were expecting. (Please excuse the pun.)

This is an extensive reference guidebook covering the stages of pre-conception, pregnancy, childbirth, and post-postpartum--not something I'd recommend anyone read cover-to-cover. And coming from the standpoint of a less-than-squeamish Labor & Delivery nurse, I found the medical aspects to be accurate, well stated, and thoughtfully presented. Thankfully, it offers a bit more personality and compassion than a text book. (Sort of a Dear Abby meets Lippincott's)

Is it the foremost authority on the subject of procreation and all of the variables therein? Not at all. But I do recommend it as a level-headed companion to satisfy one's random curiosities/concerns--which internet searches can often give conflicting results on. (I'm only speaking for the Revised & Expanded 2nd edition. I'm sure there were a number of kinks worked out from earlier versions, and more modifications made on the two most recent editions.)

I did try to come up with a quick list of people who would be better off avoiding this up front, just to save time and griping later on.

Do not read this book if you are:

*Looking for a fun Chick-Lit read.

*Easily intimidated by a thorough collection of information on a deeply complex topic.

*Neurotic, or likely to become neurotic during pregnancy.

*Generally resentful of those 'crazies' who respect the idea of natural childbirth.

*Have difficulty taking responsibility for your own actions/reactions to knowledge.

*Would rather jam your fingers in your ears and hum than be medically informed.

[Kinga · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had three reactions reading this book:

1) Oh, ok, so that's normal.
2) Thank god I don't have THAT.
3) randomly crying mid-chapter each time it said 'your baby'.

Very informative and recommended for anyone like me who needs to know absolutely everything and consider every single scenario.

[Jennifer Spinola · Rating 2 out of 5]

Preachy, harping, self-righteous. I hated this book. Every other page has some guilt-tripping admonishment not to eat white flour ("Push the bread basket away at a restaurant if the bread isn't whole wheat," it said once, and oh, count the calories in the butter you do spread on your whole wheat bread). And avoid white sugar like the plauge - in favor of "juice-sweetened" cookies or desserts, which the authors seem to think is the ticket to health in every occasion. News flash: sugar is sugar, whether it comes from fruit or sugar cane, and the human body physiologically can't tell a difference. As a hypoglycemic, I'll get just as nauseated if I eat grapes or a candy bar on an empty stomach.

Give me a break. I'm as healthy as they come. I make my own whole wheat bread and yogurt and eat very little sugar, but to tell a hungry pregnant woman to "push the bread basket away" at a restaurant just because the bread isn't whole-wheat? Even licensed nutritionists will tell you that the overall fiber count in a meal is what is important - not necessarily the fiber count in a particular food. And I don't need to hear about it every other page, ad infinitum. I started to think that if I heard the term "juice-sweetened cookie" one more time, I'd throw the book out the window.

The rest of the book is spread thickly with admonishments not to gain too much weight, not to eat dessert except "fresh fruit," and on and on and on. One "question" (which was probably self-written and planted in order for the author to do more harping) said, "I've gained 13 pounds in my first trimester. What can I do now?" The author's harsh and judgmental answer, in a nutshell: "It is TOO LATE. You've done what you've done, and it can't be fixed now." And then they goes on to guilt-trip the supposed "questioner" and rant about "healthy" weight gain (according to their own limited views of "healthy" eating).

What a ridiculous answer! Is the author a doctor who knows this particular patient and is licensed to dispense medical advice to her and all other readers? Of course not! A suitable and appropriate answer would have been something along these lines: "IT DEPENDS. Each woman is different, and your ob/gyn can tell you more about what's healthy for you and what's out of range." Guess what? I HAVE gained 13 pounds, and I'm not even done with my first trimester! AND my doc says I'm totally healthy! Before my pregnancy I was very underweight, barely 95 or 96 pounds, and my metabolism has always been through the roof. Getting myself up to 109 pounds - on, yes, a very healthy diet - was a wonderful victory, and I'm not sorry in the least.

Oh, and the "raid your husband's closet" clothing advice didn't help much, either. Maybe that's because the author thinks we're all whales who eat too much and can't fit into anything else?

If you want a book that talks about real issues and gets off a soapbox for five minutes, this is not the one.

By the way, here's a shocking revelation - I occasionally eat dessert and white bread, and I don't count the calories in my butter. Shh!!

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has a mixed reaction from moms--some feel that it can be too strict at times in terms of diet and exercise. However, I really enjoyed the book and took the pregnancy diet tips as tips, not ultimatiums. As a first-time mom, this book had helpful question and answer sections for each month that encouraged me.

What to Expect answers questions such as what to watch out for when you are pregnant, tips for buying a layette set and how to help you and your husband bond with the newborn. In a way, it's like your mom, doctor and pastor are answering all of your questions without the phone call!

Great read. I highly recommend What to Expect the First Year after this. It starts right at month one of the newborn, which is the most nerve-wracking month of their life! I probably used this book every day for the first 2 months!

[Melissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

Talk about your guilt trips! I know this is a popular gift to give someone who is expecting a baby and it does contain some useful info. but it does seem like the Martha Stewart approach to child rearing. Inpractical for most of us mortals.

[Tara · Rating 4 out of 5]

How can you complain about too much information? This book was great, practical and reassuring. The index had most every topic I could think of. However, the version I read needed an update on epidurals since it didn't recognize that many women today have them during childbirth.
It does have diet guidelines that are healthy goals. I personally didn't follow them but they might be useful for someone who thinks that it is ok to gorge on whatever you want just because of being pregnant.

[Sally · Rating 1 out of 5]

It may be appropriate to read these books as an introduction to pregnancy and birth, but you must not stop here!

The books in this series may be helpful if you know absolutely nothing about how pregnancy and birth are managed in mainstream America, or if you hate asking questions from your doctor. But in my opinion, there are many, many books out there that educate and prepare women to understand, deal with and manage their pregnancies and births as partners with their health care providers, not as quiet, non-questioning, passive patients.

[Cyndy Aleo · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book should be burned. And banned. And quite possibly run over by a car beforehand. Nothing makes an expectant mother more terrified than the horror stories in this book, and the idiot who decided an appropriate "breakfast" for a pregnant woman is half a bagel with one tablespoon of non-fat cream cheese should be coated in butter and broiled.

[Adele Goetz · Rating 2 out of 5]

Once I got past the terrible, frumpalicious Mom in loafers cover art, I found this book both helpful and horrifying in almost equal measures. Although the ending was totally predictable(9 months then baby? Yawn.), I was still shocked by it. They really had me hoping up til the very end that there was some other way for that baby to get out.

[Agnes · Rating 1 out of 5]

Well, some of my goodreads friends may think (and I wouldn't blame them) that pregnancy has made me completely illiterate, so it's about time I caught up with my updates. It's true, between doing baby registry research, diaper research, birth research, and driving to work for the past three months instead of taking public transit, I've had much less time to read than before, but I suppose that's just preparation for the busy time to come. In any case, on to the reviews...

Starting with this one, which my friend Caitlin refers to as "the one everyone loves to hate." I couldn't agree more. This book is a fear-mongering nightmare - please do yourself a favor and skip it. Every chapter is made up of hysterical pregnant women's questions about all of the stuff that can go wrong. And the advice is all about how to be the absolutely perfect mother, so that you don't f-up your baby by taking one wrong step. The best example of this is their "best bite for your baby" approach to eating - before every bite you take, you're supposed to ask yourself whether it's the most nutritious thing you could be eating. Well, no, the riotous amounts of milkshakes and Kraft Singles that I've consumed in the past few months were probably not the most nutritious things I could have put in my body, but, man, were they satisfying! And a happy mommy = a happy baby, so the authors can shove it. If anyone wants to give you this book, just refuse politely. You'll be happier as a result, and far less paranoid.

[Erin Woods · Rating 5 out of 5]

My pregnancy bible!

[Nataša]

Hajmo reći da je neki opšti utisak prosečan...ne bih preterano ulazila u detalje.

Uzevši u obzir činjenicu da sam poslednju pročitala krajem maja i da mi dete ima dva meseca, a ja upravo završila knjigu o trudnoći, jasno je ko dan kakva je čitalačka kriza nastupila. No dobro, bar ću uskoro krenuti sa slikovnicama. ;)

[abbysmom · Rating 1 out of 5]

Too alarmist for my taste. According to this book pretty much everything you do while pregnant will hurt your baby. Not for me!

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5/5

This one is often thought of as the classic "pregnancy bible" and I can certainly see why. I was gifted a copy of this book when I was about a month and a half pregnant and started reading it immediately. I read it through my whole pregnancy from start to finish, following along with each week. I always looked forward to hitting a new week and reading up about it in the book throughout my pregnancy. I really enjoyed it and felt that it covered pretty much everything you could ever want to know about pregnancy.

Not only did I read it from cover to cover (which probably isn't recommended... information overload!), I often found myself using the index in the back to also look up and read up on certain topics or questions I had at any given time as well.

I liked the layout of the book, with each week of pregnancy being covered, and the extensive information. I often found it comforting and found myself referencing it in some of my scarier moments early on in my pregnancy.

While it isn't perfect, and some of the information can be a bit overwhelming, in your face, scary, or seemingly judgmental, all in all I thought it was a very handy and thorough guide and one that I would recommend highly.

[Lp · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book when I was pregnant with my son (who's almost 10! Time flying, etc.) I know it's popular to slam this book, but it was a vast improvement over the books that came before it. As long as you ignore the diet advice (hey, I usually do!). Still, it had good solid advice and I liked it fine. It was a bit of a ground-breaker for books that came after it, so I don't know that I would say it is even close to the best information around now. Lots of better information available online, and probably in newer books, though I really don't care for the so-called "hipper" versions like "Girlfriend's Guide"

[Erin *Proud Book Hoarder* · Rating 2 out of 5]

There's much better out there, and I didn't appreciate the condescending tones present some of the time. Perhaps it was meant as reassuring. I was also annoyed by the author making sure to let you know it's called labor because it's hard work. Actually, labor isn't always about work. Mine wasn't until about 30 minutes of it. They said it was a mild discomfort (not in every case certainly) Labor isn't hard work, it's sometimes hard pain but there's nothing to be condescending about. Also, almost everything was about just go to your doctor, even over doing your own health research and nutrition. I dislike these generic copouts in health books.

[Melcat · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am not expecting but I like to know stuff in advance and make lists and know what to expect, the good and the bad and it makes me feel a bit more comfortable with the whole concept. I like the Q/A format and the month-by-month organization, which makes it a bit easier to navigate!

[Filiz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Eskiden hamilelikle ilgili telefon uygulaması yokken sanırım bu kitap alanında bir efsane olabilirdi 😀 hala daha öyle ama uygulamalardan hafta hafta takip edip buradan ay ay takip ediyorsunuz en büyük farkı bu. Her hamilenin mutlaka elinde olmalı. Bu ay başıma acaba Ne gelecek sorularına müthiş rahatlatıcı cevaplar veriyor. Mesela sakarlık seviyem %1000 arttı elime attığım her şey düşüyor kendime sinir oluyorken pat diye çoğu hamilede olduğu karşıma çıktı ve kendimi normal hissettim 😂 app ve kitaptaki bilgileri kıyaslayıp gerçekten rahat bir hamilelik yaşıyor ve panik hissiniz azalıyor. Mutlaka tavsiye ederim tek sorun bilgilerin biraz eskiden gelmesi ama Doğum da bildiğimiz en eski olaylardan biri değil mi zaten😌