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The Spiritual Journey #3
Desiring God's Will: Aligning Our Hearts with the Heart of God
We overhear Jesus' prayer in the garden of Gethsemane--"not my will, but thine be done"--but have trouble honestly making it our own. (from the Introduction) Most people think of God's will as something to be found or as the receiving of guidance from God when making decisions. We assume that if we just knew what God wanted, we'd do it. Too often, however, the problem is not that we don't know what God desires for our lives, but rather that we just don't want to do what we already know he wants. Sometimes, though, we try to live the Christian life out of sheer self-determination and grit, only to discover that our will is not sufficient to sustain us. How might our wills be changed so that we become both willing and able to do what God asks of us? In Desiring God's Will psychologist and spiritual director David G. Benner explores the transformation of the will in Christian spirituality. He examines why our desires are disordered and how our human volition can be brought into alignment with God's intentions so that we willingly choose that which God wants for us. In so doing, Benner shows us that cultivating discernment and being attuned to God's desires is the path to true life, spiritual health and freedom. God wants to change our choosing, not just our choices. By aligning our hearts with God's, we will find liberation from the kingdom of self and instead experience the joy of the kingdom of God.
123 pages, Paperback
First published December 31, 2004
183 people are currently reading
1420 people want to read
About the author
David G. Benner
44 books196 followersDavid G. Benner (PhD, York University; postdoctoral studies, Chicago Institute of Psychoanalysis) is an internationally known depth psychologist, author, spiritual guide, and personal transformation coach. He currently serves as Emeritus Distinguished Professor of Psychology and Spirituality at the Psychological Studies Institute, Richmont Graduate University. He has authored or edited more than twenty books, including Soulful Spirituality and Strategic Pastoral Counseling
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 91 reviews
December 15, 2023
Big fan of David Benner. His writings on Christian spirituality are accessible, simple, and sincere.
April 24, 2020
In the last few years David Benner has been one of the most helpful and insightful guides for me in understanding myself and the dynamics of the spiritual life. His basic premise in this third book of The Spiritual Journey trilogy is that we need to look beyond willpower in choosing the will of God: "how we decide can often be as important as what we decide...if Christ is to have our will, he must first have our heart."
In exploring what it means to choose God and His will, Benner touches on several ideas and practices (some of which I have, admittedly, been skeptical of in the past), and grounds them in biblical theology, the Christian wisdom tradition, and his own insights into the human psyche.
Benner begins by describing the limitations of willpower and discipline (Chapter 1), the motivations of Jesus and His followers in the pursuit of intimacy with the Father (Chapter 2), and how life in the kingdom of God is shaped by love (Chapter 3). Choosing God's will is less like being guided by morality and more like encountering "the courtship of the Divine Lover of your soul."
"It is God’s love and friendship that we need, not simply techniques for accomplishing God’s will" (Chapter 4). Benner describes a God who "longs for our fulfillment, not merely our compliance with the divine will" - but it is a deeper kind of fulfillment than we might think. Our deepest desires are connected to something good that God wants for us, though our (disordered) desires are certainly in need of purification (chapter 5); neither is this delighting-in-God's-will a pain-free path, as a certain measure of our transformation comes through renouncing ourselves and taking up our cross (chapter 6). Our attentiveness to God and to ourselves plays a key role in this whole process. The development of discernment - both in major decisions and in daily life - rests on a robust integration of our spiritual life with the psychological realities of our inner world (Chapter 7).
Much of my life has been characterized by trying to do what is right and responsible, and to grow in Christlike character. In reframing "will" and "desire," what Benner has given me here is a way forward in relation to the transformation of desire, and the freedom to pursue joy and fulfillment as part of the richness of experiencing God's love and goodness. Indeed, "A journey into the heart of God will always involve desire for God, not simply a will to become Godlike."
As I find myself seeking a deeper transformation, thirsting for a deeper sense of joy and a richer experience of God and His love, the message of this book has served as a timely and beautiful invitation to delight in the Lord and to delight in His will.
"May God help us learn to attend to the movements of our own spirit so that we can attend to the movements of God’s Spirit in us. This is the core of choosing God moment by moment."
In exploring what it means to choose God and His will, Benner touches on several ideas and practices (some of which I have, admittedly, been skeptical of in the past), and grounds them in biblical theology, the Christian wisdom tradition, and his own insights into the human psyche.
Benner begins by describing the limitations of willpower and discipline (Chapter 1), the motivations of Jesus and His followers in the pursuit of intimacy with the Father (Chapter 2), and how life in the kingdom of God is shaped by love (Chapter 3). Choosing God's will is less like being guided by morality and more like encountering "the courtship of the Divine Lover of your soul."
"It is God’s love and friendship that we need, not simply techniques for accomplishing God’s will" (Chapter 4). Benner describes a God who "longs for our fulfillment, not merely our compliance with the divine will" - but it is a deeper kind of fulfillment than we might think. Our deepest desires are connected to something good that God wants for us, though our (disordered) desires are certainly in need of purification (chapter 5); neither is this delighting-in-God's-will a pain-free path, as a certain measure of our transformation comes through renouncing ourselves and taking up our cross (chapter 6). Our attentiveness to God and to ourselves plays a key role in this whole process. The development of discernment - both in major decisions and in daily life - rests on a robust integration of our spiritual life with the psychological realities of our inner world (Chapter 7).
Much of my life has been characterized by trying to do what is right and responsible, and to grow in Christlike character. In reframing "will" and "desire," what Benner has given me here is a way forward in relation to the transformation of desire, and the freedom to pursue joy and fulfillment as part of the richness of experiencing God's love and goodness. Indeed, "A journey into the heart of God will always involve desire for God, not simply a will to become Godlike."
As I find myself seeking a deeper transformation, thirsting for a deeper sense of joy and a richer experience of God and His love, the message of this book has served as a timely and beautiful invitation to delight in the Lord and to delight in His will.
"May God help us learn to attend to the movements of our own spirit so that we can attend to the movements of God’s Spirit in us. This is the core of choosing God moment by moment."
July 8, 2024
Book Review Rating: 7/10
This Book Is:
- Written from a psychological perspective.
- About the connection between the will and desire/love.
- Helpful for people who feel tired of religion and are looking for a fresh encounter with God.
This Book Is Not:
- Written from a theological perspective.
- For those who are concerned with or not interested in the emotional and experiential side of faith.
My Takeaways:
- God cares about our motivations. It can be easy to measure our external actions against other people’s actions because they are visible. It is tempting to measure our spirituality by the number of times we attend church, read our Bible, or pray. These things aren’t necessarily bad, but part of what determines their value is our motivation for doing them. God wants us to act out of love, not willpower.
- Look for where God is working. It is important to build the habit of asking where God is working in our lives. Learning to pay attention is something that can be improved with practice. The prayer of Examen by St. Ignatius of Loyola is one way to do this.
My Critique:
The role of spiritual disciplines. I agree with Benner that the disciplines are not an end in themselves and that God cares about our motivation. The reality for most of us is that we regularly find ourselves doing things for the wrong reason, but with the desire to change our motivation. How does one change their motivation? In one sense, the answer is that we can’t, only God can. But there are things we can do to put ourselves in the appropriate posture for God to work. These are exactly what the spiritual disciplines are for. So claiming that God doesn’t want us acting out of willpower feels a bit misleading when that is exactly how to get where Benner says we need to go.
Click here to read the full review at Faithful Intellect.
This Book Is:
- Written from a psychological perspective.
- About the connection between the will and desire/love.
- Helpful for people who feel tired of religion and are looking for a fresh encounter with God.
This Book Is Not:
- Written from a theological perspective.
- For those who are concerned with or not interested in the emotional and experiential side of faith.
My Takeaways:
- God cares about our motivations. It can be easy to measure our external actions against other people’s actions because they are visible. It is tempting to measure our spirituality by the number of times we attend church, read our Bible, or pray. These things aren’t necessarily bad, but part of what determines their value is our motivation for doing them. God wants us to act out of love, not willpower.
- Look for where God is working. It is important to build the habit of asking where God is working in our lives. Learning to pay attention is something that can be improved with practice. The prayer of Examen by St. Ignatius of Loyola is one way to do this.
My Critique:
The role of spiritual disciplines. I agree with Benner that the disciplines are not an end in themselves and that God cares about our motivation. The reality for most of us is that we regularly find ourselves doing things for the wrong reason, but with the desire to change our motivation. How does one change their motivation? In one sense, the answer is that we can’t, only God can. But there are things we can do to put ourselves in the appropriate posture for God to work. These are exactly what the spiritual disciplines are for. So claiming that God doesn’t want us acting out of willpower feels a bit misleading when that is exactly how to get where Benner says we need to go.
Click here to read the full review at Faithful Intellect.
June 7, 2025
Another excellent book on spiritual journey and transformation. This time focusing on what it means to desire God's will, to allign our desires to God's and to sync with his divine love and longing for us. Beautifully written, honest and reflective. This whole triology by David Benner on spiritual journey is something that I would need to return to periodically to engage with it's content even more deeply and personally.
February 2, 2024
Quick Audible listen—I can tell it would be been much richer to be able to read and highlight. Love his contemplative approach to life in God. We can trust that our desires will point us in the direction God’s will for our lives.
February 3, 2023
Desiring God's Will, book 3/3 of David Benner's Spiritual Journey delivered just as much power as the first two books.
Ultimately Benner compares the life of “the kingdom of God and the kingdom of self.”
I love that throughout this series there's a great emphasis on the personal, dynamic, intimate relationship with Christ, not out of obligation or obedience but out of the love experienced. Discerning God's Will is less about what God's plan for us is long term, ie; career, marriage, children, life, and more about fixing our attention daily to Christ in all the little things, ultimately synchronizing desires with God's will for us. Benner states: "The close interconnection of will and desire means that if Christ is to have our will, he must first have our heart." [...] "Surrendering to God’s will makes little sense if we are not first convinced of the depths of God’s love for us."
"He longed to be with his Father because this relationship was the source of his life. Discipline was, for Jesus as it should be for us, grounded in relationship and shaped by desire." if it is anything other than this, the result is self-righteousness and pride.
This is something that I need to be reminded of often. Discipline is simply a means to reserving space and time to spend time with God. The time spent with him doesn't need to be productive, ie; having major conclusions, learnings, commentaries referenced, and long journal entries... time spend sitting in his presence, reading His Word, and contemplating, is enough.
Benner speaks to the practice of Lectio Divina which is something I had been introduced to a couple of months ago which has radically changed my time with God:
"Like many other modern Christians, I have found that the ancient Christian practice of lectio divina has done wonders to vitalize my engagement with Scripture. Literally meaning “divine reading,” lectio divina is designed to allow the Word of God to penetrate our heart and lead us into an intimate relationship with the Lord. It involves reading (or listening to) a short passage and expectantly waiting for the word or phrase that is God’s personal word for today."
Reading God's word, giving him space to speak, and waiting with expectation for what He has to say has been such a refreshing way to spend time with Him.
All in all, couldn't recommend this 3 part series enough.
Ultimately Benner compares the life of “the kingdom of God and the kingdom of self.”
I love that throughout this series there's a great emphasis on the personal, dynamic, intimate relationship with Christ, not out of obligation or obedience but out of the love experienced. Discerning God's Will is less about what God's plan for us is long term, ie; career, marriage, children, life, and more about fixing our attention daily to Christ in all the little things, ultimately synchronizing desires with God's will for us. Benner states: "The close interconnection of will and desire means that if Christ is to have our will, he must first have our heart." [...] "Surrendering to God’s will makes little sense if we are not first convinced of the depths of God’s love for us."
"He longed to be with his Father because this relationship was the source of his life. Discipline was, for Jesus as it should be for us, grounded in relationship and shaped by desire." if it is anything other than this, the result is self-righteousness and pride.
This is something that I need to be reminded of often. Discipline is simply a means to reserving space and time to spend time with God. The time spent with him doesn't need to be productive, ie; having major conclusions, learnings, commentaries referenced, and long journal entries... time spend sitting in his presence, reading His Word, and contemplating, is enough.
Benner speaks to the practice of Lectio Divina which is something I had been introduced to a couple of months ago which has radically changed my time with God:
"Like many other modern Christians, I have found that the ancient Christian practice of lectio divina has done wonders to vitalize my engagement with Scripture. Literally meaning “divine reading,” lectio divina is designed to allow the Word of God to penetrate our heart and lead us into an intimate relationship with the Lord. It involves reading (or listening to) a short passage and expectantly waiting for the word or phrase that is God’s personal word for today."
Reading God's word, giving him space to speak, and waiting with expectation for what He has to say has been such a refreshing way to spend time with Him.
All in all, couldn't recommend this 3 part series enough.
June 25, 2025
It is important to note that this book is the third book in a series on spiritual transformation. I loved all three but the first one, “Surrender to Love”, and this one were most helpful to me. He comes full circle in this book to the idea that the path to transformation always begins and moves forward with surrendering to God’s supreme and faithful love for us.
I loved the way this book spoke right to the heart of transformation. David Benner is concise and gracious throughout the book. There were times I wish he added more explanation, but he left deeper understanding for readers to learn in their own pursuit of desiring God’s will. Benner’s main point is that God is not seeking our obedience to his commands as much as He is seeking love for Him that makes obedience to Him a joy and not a burden. He provides a practical guide for developing a heart that truly desires God’s will. He writes of how all of our desires are reflections of our desires for God, even though they are often distorted and we seek to foolishly satisfy them apart from God. Benner states that with the help of the Holy Spirit we can develop discernment and pay attention to the consolation or desolation of our hearts (Ignatian terms) to find our heart’s deepest desires met in God.
I highlighted this book so much that I would have saved much ink if I had highlighted only what didn’t stand out to me. I will be reading through the highlights of all three books again in the near future and reading other books by Benner as well.
I loved the way this book spoke right to the heart of transformation. David Benner is concise and gracious throughout the book. There were times I wish he added more explanation, but he left deeper understanding for readers to learn in their own pursuit of desiring God’s will. Benner’s main point is that God is not seeking our obedience to his commands as much as He is seeking love for Him that makes obedience to Him a joy and not a burden. He provides a practical guide for developing a heart that truly desires God’s will. He writes of how all of our desires are reflections of our desires for God, even though they are often distorted and we seek to foolishly satisfy them apart from God. Benner states that with the help of the Holy Spirit we can develop discernment and pay attention to the consolation or desolation of our hearts (Ignatian terms) to find our heart’s deepest desires met in God.
I highlighted this book so much that I would have saved much ink if I had highlighted only what didn’t stand out to me. I will be reading through the highlights of all three books again in the near future and reading other books by Benner as well.
February 27, 2024
This book was not as transformative as the first two for me. I think I've spent so many decades with teaching of dying to self and aligning my will with the Lord's that this wasn't new news. George Muller, Andrew Murray, Amy Carmichael, Charles Spurgeon, and Hudson Taylor were my teachers and role models.
Thumbing through it and reading my underlinings, though, made me realize how much transformative stuff there WAS.
Desolation = when we feel turbulence
Thumbing through it and reading my underlinings, though, made me realize how much transformative stuff there WAS.
Jesus is the only person who has lived a life of total surrender to God's loving will. He alone knew the absolute freedom and fulfillment of floating in the river of life that is God. He alone can lead us to the release from enslavement to an autonomous will. page 16
Unchecked self-control sucks the vitality not only out of the individual who practices it but also out of others. In its most advanced stages it produces a rigidity that looks like premature rigor mortis. You can smell the presence of death when you are with someone who is in the embrace of the sole damaging rigidity associated with self-control that has been made into the supreme virtue.
Spontaneous people threaten the arbitrary controls I place on myself--The brittle barriers I erect around my naked self in an attempt to hide my vulnerability and make me safe. page 25
We approach God in the company of others... If we ceased to be brothers and sisters to the other children of God, if we really were separate beings, we would be in the image of a lonely god that is definitely not the Christian God. page 35
Jesus' call: I am come to inaugurate the kingdom of God and bring a rain of love to the world. I will conquer everything that afflicts you and the world--disease, sin, suffering, injustice, poverty, ignorance, and even death. Come and join me so that I may first lead you to the Father's healing love and saving grace. Then take up your place beside me--sharing my labor, sharing my suffering, and sharing the victory that is certain. page 38
Ordered desires expand me and connect me to others and the world in life-enhancing ways. Disordered desires suck me into myself and rather than adding vitality to life, leech it away. This is because ordered desires spring from willingness and surrender, while disordered ones are my willful attempt to arrange for my own happiness and fulfillment.
We cannot purify our own desires. So don't fall into the trap of taking this on as a spiritual self-improvement project. Instead, lift yourself to God in the midst of your disordered state and allow God to undertake the necessary transformation.... The sorting work is God's, not ours. Our job is to sit in God's presence and allow God to purify our desires. page 85
God's will is that you become the person that from eternity you were destined to be--Your true self in Christ. God's will is that you discover the fullness of life that is uniquely possible in surrendering to divine love and taking up your calling in the kingdom of God. At the center of God's deepest desire for you is divine longing to complete your transformation. God's dream for you is that you become whole and holy as you find your identity and fulfillment in mystical union with the Lord God. God's deepest dreams for us are grounded in passionate longing for intimacy with us. page 103
Saint Ignatius, the developer of [the examen], urged his disciples to practice it every day. ... Tracking moments of consolation and desolation helps us discern both the deepest desires of our hearts and the sources of our deepest dis-ease. page 117Consolation = when we felt aligned with God and on solid ground
Desolation = when we feel turbulence
August 16, 2024
Yes, it took me three months to read a 120 page book…. What’s it to ya?
This book was so beautifully written and I was deeply challenged and moved by the concepts. If you didn’t desire the heart of God before reading this book, you definitely will after! Benner shares about desiring the heart of a God whose love for us is deeply wrapped up in His desire for us in a way that was powerful and impactful.
His language and writing style was a little more dense than I would’ve liked, which is the reason it took me three months to get through. It was pretty normal for me to read a page or two, and then close the book and not read again for a while.
I felt like I had to read a page, and then sit on the concepts for a while before I could pick up the book again or else I wouldn’t consume anything. Maybe that wasn’t the writer’s fault, and was simply just my brain processing the concept of living a life of desiring God’s kingdom over my own, idk.
Overall, highly recommend! I underlined SOOO much of the book bc there was so much treasure and richness to be found. I legit underlined AN ENTIRE PAGE at one point because it was speaking so profoundly to me!
This book was so beautifully written and I was deeply challenged and moved by the concepts. If you didn’t desire the heart of God before reading this book, you definitely will after! Benner shares about desiring the heart of a God whose love for us is deeply wrapped up in His desire for us in a way that was powerful and impactful.
His language and writing style was a little more dense than I would’ve liked, which is the reason it took me three months to get through. It was pretty normal for me to read a page or two, and then close the book and not read again for a while.
I felt like I had to read a page, and then sit on the concepts for a while before I could pick up the book again or else I wouldn’t consume anything. Maybe that wasn’t the writer’s fault, and was simply just my brain processing the concept of living a life of desiring God’s kingdom over my own, idk.
Overall, highly recommend! I underlined SOOO much of the book bc there was so much treasure and richness to be found. I legit underlined AN ENTIRE PAGE at one point because it was speaking so profoundly to me!
February 25, 2025
Absolutely loved this book! I cannot summarize it and do it justice so I’ll leave some of my favorite nuggets below.
“The motto of willfulness is my way or no way”
“We become love only bay surrender and self-sacrifice”
“The kingdom of self is ultimately the kingdom of death”
“Passions direct life more than will”
“For what we long for in our hearts we will pursue with totality of our being”
- so true which is why it’s so important to bring our hearts into alignment with Gods. In the book he talks about how our deepest desires do reflect us back to God when we go beyond the superficial fulfilling of them. A deep longing for marriage when boiled down is a longing for love and satisfaction and marriage is often seen as the answer to the longing but God is the only satisfaction for that hole in the heart.
“Only when we are willing to desire nothing more than God can we experience the freedom of truly enjoying all things.”
“God’s will is that you discover the fullness of life that is uniquely possible in surrendering to divine love”
“The motto of willfulness is my way or no way”
“We become love only bay surrender and self-sacrifice”
“The kingdom of self is ultimately the kingdom of death”
“Passions direct life more than will”
“For what we long for in our hearts we will pursue with totality of our being”
- so true which is why it’s so important to bring our hearts into alignment with Gods. In the book he talks about how our deepest desires do reflect us back to God when we go beyond the superficial fulfilling of them. A deep longing for marriage when boiled down is a longing for love and satisfaction and marriage is often seen as the answer to the longing but God is the only satisfaction for that hole in the heart.
“Only when we are willing to desire nothing more than God can we experience the freedom of truly enjoying all things.”
“God’s will is that you discover the fullness of life that is uniquely possible in surrendering to divine love”
October 21, 2025
"Desiring God's Will" is the finale to David Benner's trilogy and probably my favorite of the three books. Benner challenges our western assertion of the self-will. There is a "soul-damaging rigidity" in living "my life my wife," Benner asserts. "Willfulness is the deadly fruit of the kingdom of self. Willingness is the river of life flowing through the kingdom of God."
Benner challenges us to consider how "wholly other" God is. We ought not assume we will naturally choose his will. On the contrary, our desire for self control puts us at odds with God's invitation. "We have believed the lie of the serpent. We have believed that freedom comes from the exercise of our autonomy." But, while "Grasping destroys. Surrender restores and transforms."
For Benner, the will of God is found in God's presence. While I agree with this sentiment, Benner leans in a more mystical direction than I would. I would emphasize the clarity of God's will in his Word and the importance of the community of God.
For more reviews see thebeehive.live.
Benner challenges us to consider how "wholly other" God is. We ought not assume we will naturally choose his will. On the contrary, our desire for self control puts us at odds with God's invitation. "We have believed the lie of the serpent. We have believed that freedom comes from the exercise of our autonomy." But, while "Grasping destroys. Surrender restores and transforms."
For Benner, the will of God is found in God's presence. While I agree with this sentiment, Benner leans in a more mystical direction than I would. I would emphasize the clarity of God's will in his Word and the importance of the community of God.
For more reviews see thebeehive.live.
July 24, 2022
This book is both inspiring and practical as far as encouraging Christ-followers to align our hearts with the heart of God. Not my will, but Your will be done… Not my kingdom, but Your kingdom come… Living a life of consent to God’s will, not merely through obligation and willfulness, but by surrendering to Love. Highly recommend this book, and the other two books in the series (Surrender to Love, The Gift of Being Yourself).
May 12, 2020
Perfect Ending to Benner's engaging trilogy on Christian spiritual transformation.
David Benner has a gift of acute insight into how God transforms the human heart. This trilogy has given me much reason for taking time to contemplate. I now intend to start reading his trilogy over again.
David Benner has a gift of acute insight into how God transforms the human heart. This trilogy has given me much reason for taking time to contemplate. I now intend to start reading his trilogy over again.
August 14, 2023
What a wonderfully fresh perspective on the will of God! Like most David Benner books, I was brought into deeper places of attentiveness and communion. This one is worthy to be read again (and again).
February 11, 2025
A book in season for me. Benner's trilogy is top shelf and each book has taken me deeper into the heart of God and helped me see ways I keep God at arms length.
August 12, 2025
so helpful 🤩
June 17, 2018
Really enjoyed this book. Suggested by a friend (thanks Andrew!!) and it spoke to a lot of my questions about God’s will in daily life. Looked at the self holistically too, which I really appreciate. Def would recommend!
February 14, 2021
I read this book very slowly and journaled along the way. I loved the journey and I recommend this book for anyone in a season of discernment (which is anyone!).
November 15, 2021
Dr. Bennet is always approachable, concise, and like a surgeon, makes a clean cut so that truth can get in.
October 4, 2012
Ever since I first get to know Jesus personally, it has always been my desire to grow and mature in my faith in Him. As a relatively young Christian, I know I still have a long way to go to reach at least that same level of maturity exemplified by Paul in the bible. I still find it hard to submit to Jesus completely and I still commit sin over and over again. My only consolation is that I'm holding to God's promise that He will finish into completion the good thing He has started in me. I'm holding to my faith that in Him I can have eternal life not because of my performance but because He is gracious and loving.
Jesus said that if we will accept Him as the Lord and Saviour of our life, we can have eternal life. When I first heard about this, I refuse to believe it. Is the way to heaven really that easy? Just by accepting Jesus in my life I can be assured of going to heaven? I don't think so. The bible even says that you have to choose the narrow road before you can go to heaven.
But then God opened my heart and He made me accept the truth and truly, accepting and believing in Jesus as our Lord and Savior is actually not that easy. Well, believing that He is a Saviour, yeah maybe, but as Lord, that's a different thing. Imagine allowing someone to tell you things you need to do even if you don't want to. Who would want that? But then, that's what Jesus really wants from us. He cannot be our Savior unless He is Lord. It may seem difficult to surrender our life to Him but the truth is, it's the other way around. Life with Jesus is a lot more easy. He can even make us the kind of person that He wants us to be, if we will only let Him do the work for us. All we need to do is align our hearts with Him. And the message of this book revolves around this truth.
The message of this book is not actually new for it is a universal truth for Christians that doing the will of God should be our greatest desire. It is only by living the life according to His will that we can have a full and meaningful life - a life that is filled with purpose. As mentioned by the author, "Learning to desire God's will is not something we can accomplish by resolve and willpower. It occurs only when we live so close to God's heart that the rhythm of our own heartbeat comes to reflect the divine pulse."
This book is actually an encouragement and a challenge for me. Somehow God used this book to reveal to me and make me realize that I'm really doing things the wrong way. No matter how many sacrifices I made for God, it will be useless unless I do it with the right motivation, and that is love. Love for God, for other people and for the world. What really matters to God is the state of our heart and I know this is still one of the process items in my life. But, I don't despair because I know Jesus will help me and make me change my heart. A heart that is beating and longing only for Him. :)
Jesus said that if we will accept Him as the Lord and Saviour of our life, we can have eternal life. When I first heard about this, I refuse to believe it. Is the way to heaven really that easy? Just by accepting Jesus in my life I can be assured of going to heaven? I don't think so. The bible even says that you have to choose the narrow road before you can go to heaven.
But then God opened my heart and He made me accept the truth and truly, accepting and believing in Jesus as our Lord and Savior is actually not that easy. Well, believing that He is a Saviour, yeah maybe, but as Lord, that's a different thing. Imagine allowing someone to tell you things you need to do even if you don't want to. Who would want that? But then, that's what Jesus really wants from us. He cannot be our Savior unless He is Lord. It may seem difficult to surrender our life to Him but the truth is, it's the other way around. Life with Jesus is a lot more easy. He can even make us the kind of person that He wants us to be, if we will only let Him do the work for us. All we need to do is align our hearts with Him. And the message of this book revolves around this truth.
The message of this book is not actually new for it is a universal truth for Christians that doing the will of God should be our greatest desire. It is only by living the life according to His will that we can have a full and meaningful life - a life that is filled with purpose. As mentioned by the author, "Learning to desire God's will is not something we can accomplish by resolve and willpower. It occurs only when we live so close to God's heart that the rhythm of our own heartbeat comes to reflect the divine pulse."
This book is actually an encouragement and a challenge for me. Somehow God used this book to reveal to me and make me realize that I'm really doing things the wrong way. No matter how many sacrifices I made for God, it will be useless unless I do it with the right motivation, and that is love. Love for God, for other people and for the world. What really matters to God is the state of our heart and I know this is still one of the process items in my life. But, I don't despair because I know Jesus will help me and make me change my heart. A heart that is beating and longing only for Him. :)
June 6, 2021
I expected to encounter another theological unpacking of discernment and how to achieve it. What I actually found was a living, breathing, movement towards seeking the peace of God moment by moment. There were so many things in this book I was blown away by-we can't force ourselves to desire God, much less discern his will-the Lord's prayer has much to teach us about community and our place in God's love-experiencing God's love is central to everything-desiring God's will can be done by step by step day by day minute by minute awareness of God's presence and our feelings of consolation or desolation.
This book is true transformational spirituality and counseling.
Attention presupposes faith and love
Attention is what brings change, no will
Will- focus on intention or desired outcome. Awareness bound up with desire and always involves awareness of the distance between what we are and what we love
Transformation happens when we desire something
God is not absent it is we who fail to be in his divine presence
3 reasons We can we seeking Gods presence yet he seems absent:
God is not the product of our imagination and can’t be turned on and off like a light switch
We cannot know God objectively it is by nature subjective. The encounter must be through love
The deepest desires are always fulfilled not in our arrival but in our journeying. Not in the finding but in the searching. For truly it is in the searching that we are found.
Christian spirituality is about distillation and focusing on desire. It is about Discovering the freedom that comes with desiring nothing more than God and then enjoying with detachment every other blessing and gift
Everything that we love and desire more than God tends ultimately to finish our humanity and damage our soul.
Only prayer can order a disordered life...prayer sorts out our desires...our job is to sit in silence and let God sort out our desires.
When we long for nothing more than God our deepest longings dependably point us toward God
We can choose to acknowledge our suffering rather than ignore it and while holding it we can choose to look toward God. If we do, we discover God looking toward us. Taking up our cross is allowing suffering to be a place of meeting God. For no matter how great your suffering maybe, God has suffered from it first. Only when we embrace the suffering that can never be avoided do we meet the God who “is everything and is in everything” (as Paul says)
The greatest gift of Christian spirituality can be stated in a single word: life. God has taken the symbol of the death-the cross- and turned it into life. For this to happen, Jesus had to accept his own cross and God had to meet him in his death and transform death into life. The crosses in our life that we take up as an act of following Jesus are similarly transformed into something we could never imagine.
God's will isn't necessarily the decisions you make-marry this or that person-go to one church over another, etc. God's will is that you become the person that, from eternity, you were destined to be. God's will is that you discover the fullness of life that is uniquely possible is surrendering to Divine love and taking up your calling in the kingdom of God...God's plan for you is that you become whole and holy in your union with God.
God's interest in what we do grows out of much more fundamental interest in who we are.
God's deepest dreams for us are grounded in passionate longing for intimacy with us.
Discerning is about knowing the heart of our beloved.
Discernment is about our heart allegiances-these constitute our fundamental life orientation
The most superficial layer of our emotions is an unstable basis for our decision-making. We all know how volatile these wisps of emotions can be. But beneath this outermost layer of reactions to the outer world and our present biochemical cocktail. At our deepest core lie feelings that we will likely experience only are rare moments. Sometimes called unitive experiences these transcendent moments involve a deep connectedness with God and everything else that exists... the sudden feeling of being swept up by life where our minds are still and awareness peaks.. simply a profound sense of awe and well-being.
God wants to change our choosing, not simply our choices. God wants to give us a heart transplant. The heart of God makes change for our heart from stony ego-centric willfulness. God allows this new heart to lead our choosing; a redeemed heart guiding redeemed choosing. While willpower can never pull us up to God, at their deepest and truest level our desires already point us toward life. If our longings are to become God's longings, they must be set to their default position with God as the object of our deepest yearning. Only then will we know the freedom of being able to fully trust our heart.
Only when we truly desire nothing but God can we truly enjoy all of God's other blessings.
May God help us learn to attend to the movements of our own spirit so that we can attend to the movement of God's spirit within us. This is the core of choosing God moment by moment. It is the key to real life.
Ultimately, we can discern consolation and desolation only in relation to our basic heart allegiances. A metaphor suggested by Margaret silf is: Consolation and desolation both have to do with our basic life orientation-either away from or toward God. Think of movement away from God as swimming upstream in a river against the current. And the movement toward God as floating downstream with the current...For those drifting away from God the action of God in their lives disturbs them and churns their moods creating restlessness while the things that come from their own kingdoms make them feel good and leave them, apparently, contented. For those whose lives are moving toward God, the opposite effects are apparent. when God is touching them they feel at peace and they know that somehow they are on solid ground. When they are, hopefully temporarily, attending to their own kingdoms, they feel that they are not really living true and they experience inner turmoil. Desolation is spiritual turbulence. Although we are highly adapted at ignoring it, if we learn to become spiritually attentive and discerning we notice that we feel churned up from time to time.
these are the times when we have taken our eyes off God and turned our backs toward God. In contrast, when we turn toward God in a posture of surrender, we feel instantaneous spiritual peace and consolation. This sense of well-being is much deeper than happiness. One can be happy but in a state of desolation when superficial pleasant feelings block out the disease of a soul in turbulence. But equally important, one can be unhappy yet in a state of profound consolation that offers deep assurance of God's presence in the midst of distress.
Going with the flow of God's Kingdom is floating in the river of Divine love. This is why the core task involved in developing discernment is learning to pay attention to God's personal love for us. A discerning heart is a heart attentive to God.
A discerning spirit is attentive to the differing movement in our depths between those moments when our face is towards God and those when our face is turned away.
Practicing discernment: The challenge is learning close to the heart of God and attentive to your own spirit. Only then will you be able to discern the movements of your own spirit that either mirror or show opposition to the movements of God's spirit.
Attentiveness to God is aided by attentiveness the movement of our own spirit. A helpful beginning point to be the awareness examen: or the examination of consciousness
at it's core, it's a prayerful review of the day, allowing God to bring the important events of the day to mind. Much like looking out the window of a moving train and noticing what you see. With an eye towards discerning when we were aware of God's presence and when we were not.
The examen is powerfully aided by attentiveness to periods of consolation when we felt aligned with God and on solid ground. and periods of desolation when we felt turbulence in the day.
prayerfully looking back, we then seek to recall in each situation what we were doing, what we were thinking or feeling and where our heart and attention were in relation to God.
Tracking moments of consolation and desolation helps us discern both the deepest desires of our heart and the sources of our deepest disease.
Consolation points us towards God's action in our lives. desolation points us toward the action of the kingdom of self.
by means of it, we learn to align ourselves with God, moment by moment.
http://www.sfcatholic.org/youth/wp-co...
This book is true transformational spirituality and counseling.
Attention presupposes faith and love
Attention is what brings change, no will
Will- focus on intention or desired outcome. Awareness bound up with desire and always involves awareness of the distance between what we are and what we love
Transformation happens when we desire something
God is not absent it is we who fail to be in his divine presence
3 reasons We can we seeking Gods presence yet he seems absent:
God is not the product of our imagination and can’t be turned on and off like a light switch
We cannot know God objectively it is by nature subjective. The encounter must be through love
The deepest desires are always fulfilled not in our arrival but in our journeying. Not in the finding but in the searching. For truly it is in the searching that we are found.
Christian spirituality is about distillation and focusing on desire. It is about Discovering the freedom that comes with desiring nothing more than God and then enjoying with detachment every other blessing and gift
Everything that we love and desire more than God tends ultimately to finish our humanity and damage our soul.
Only prayer can order a disordered life...prayer sorts out our desires...our job is to sit in silence and let God sort out our desires.
When we long for nothing more than God our deepest longings dependably point us toward God
We can choose to acknowledge our suffering rather than ignore it and while holding it we can choose to look toward God. If we do, we discover God looking toward us. Taking up our cross is allowing suffering to be a place of meeting God. For no matter how great your suffering maybe, God has suffered from it first. Only when we embrace the suffering that can never be avoided do we meet the God who “is everything and is in everything” (as Paul says)
The greatest gift of Christian spirituality can be stated in a single word: life. God has taken the symbol of the death-the cross- and turned it into life. For this to happen, Jesus had to accept his own cross and God had to meet him in his death and transform death into life. The crosses in our life that we take up as an act of following Jesus are similarly transformed into something we could never imagine.
God's will isn't necessarily the decisions you make-marry this or that person-go to one church over another, etc. God's will is that you become the person that, from eternity, you were destined to be. God's will is that you discover the fullness of life that is uniquely possible is surrendering to Divine love and taking up your calling in the kingdom of God...God's plan for you is that you become whole and holy in your union with God.
God's interest in what we do grows out of much more fundamental interest in who we are.
God's deepest dreams for us are grounded in passionate longing for intimacy with us.
Discerning is about knowing the heart of our beloved.
Discernment is about our heart allegiances-these constitute our fundamental life orientation
The most superficial layer of our emotions is an unstable basis for our decision-making. We all know how volatile these wisps of emotions can be. But beneath this outermost layer of reactions to the outer world and our present biochemical cocktail. At our deepest core lie feelings that we will likely experience only are rare moments. Sometimes called unitive experiences these transcendent moments involve a deep connectedness with God and everything else that exists... the sudden feeling of being swept up by life where our minds are still and awareness peaks.. simply a profound sense of awe and well-being.
God wants to change our choosing, not simply our choices. God wants to give us a heart transplant. The heart of God makes change for our heart from stony ego-centric willfulness. God allows this new heart to lead our choosing; a redeemed heart guiding redeemed choosing. While willpower can never pull us up to God, at their deepest and truest level our desires already point us toward life. If our longings are to become God's longings, they must be set to their default position with God as the object of our deepest yearning. Only then will we know the freedom of being able to fully trust our heart.
Only when we truly desire nothing but God can we truly enjoy all of God's other blessings.
May God help us learn to attend to the movements of our own spirit so that we can attend to the movement of God's spirit within us. This is the core of choosing God moment by moment. It is the key to real life.
Ultimately, we can discern consolation and desolation only in relation to our basic heart allegiances. A metaphor suggested by Margaret silf is: Consolation and desolation both have to do with our basic life orientation-either away from or toward God. Think of movement away from God as swimming upstream in a river against the current. And the movement toward God as floating downstream with the current...For those drifting away from God the action of God in their lives disturbs them and churns their moods creating restlessness while the things that come from their own kingdoms make them feel good and leave them, apparently, contented. For those whose lives are moving toward God, the opposite effects are apparent. when God is touching them they feel at peace and they know that somehow they are on solid ground. When they are, hopefully temporarily, attending to their own kingdoms, they feel that they are not really living true and they experience inner turmoil. Desolation is spiritual turbulence. Although we are highly adapted at ignoring it, if we learn to become spiritually attentive and discerning we notice that we feel churned up from time to time.
these are the times when we have taken our eyes off God and turned our backs toward God. In contrast, when we turn toward God in a posture of surrender, we feel instantaneous spiritual peace and consolation. This sense of well-being is much deeper than happiness. One can be happy but in a state of desolation when superficial pleasant feelings block out the disease of a soul in turbulence. But equally important, one can be unhappy yet in a state of profound consolation that offers deep assurance of God's presence in the midst of distress.
Going with the flow of God's Kingdom is floating in the river of Divine love. This is why the core task involved in developing discernment is learning to pay attention to God's personal love for us. A discerning heart is a heart attentive to God.
A discerning spirit is attentive to the differing movement in our depths between those moments when our face is towards God and those when our face is turned away.
Practicing discernment: The challenge is learning close to the heart of God and attentive to your own spirit. Only then will you be able to discern the movements of your own spirit that either mirror or show opposition to the movements of God's spirit.
Attentiveness to God is aided by attentiveness the movement of our own spirit. A helpful beginning point to be the awareness examen: or the examination of consciousness
at it's core, it's a prayerful review of the day, allowing God to bring the important events of the day to mind. Much like looking out the window of a moving train and noticing what you see. With an eye towards discerning when we were aware of God's presence and when we were not.
The examen is powerfully aided by attentiveness to periods of consolation when we felt aligned with God and on solid ground. and periods of desolation when we felt turbulence in the day.
prayerfully looking back, we then seek to recall in each situation what we were doing, what we were thinking or feeling and where our heart and attention were in relation to God.
Tracking moments of consolation and desolation helps us discern both the deepest desires of our heart and the sources of our deepest disease.
Consolation points us towards God's action in our lives. desolation points us toward the action of the kingdom of self.
by means of it, we learn to align ourselves with God, moment by moment.
http://www.sfcatholic.org/youth/wp-co...
January 17, 2021
This is the third book in David Benner's trilogy on spiritual formation. I meant to finish this book in 2020 but its hard to binge read books on formation! All 3 of these books were excellent and arrested me multiple times as Benner dropped truth bombs that pierced my heart!
So often we see God's will as helping us make big decisions on what we do, who we marry, and where we live. Benner turns that on its head saying, "One of the most precious gifts God wants to give us is an abiding sense of His presence," not necessarily a sense of direction. Desiring God's will is about far more than simply allowing Him to guide us in the big decisions of our life. It is less a willful choice and more a reordering of our deepest desires. As we desire Him, our following His will becomes about resting in His presence in the day to day and minute to minute of our lives.
He closes every chapter with some practical steps towards growth. Each of the practices I did added value to my life and some will remain as fixtures in my daily rhythm. I would recommend this set of books. Starting with Surrender to Love, moving to the Gift of Being Yourself, and closing with this book, Desiring God's Will. They are short but not quick reads as they all demand attention being given to the state of our hearts.
So often we see God's will as helping us make big decisions on what we do, who we marry, and where we live. Benner turns that on its head saying, "One of the most precious gifts God wants to give us is an abiding sense of His presence," not necessarily a sense of direction. Desiring God's will is about far more than simply allowing Him to guide us in the big decisions of our life. It is less a willful choice and more a reordering of our deepest desires. As we desire Him, our following His will becomes about resting in His presence in the day to day and minute to minute of our lives.
He closes every chapter with some practical steps towards growth. Each of the practices I did added value to my life and some will remain as fixtures in my daily rhythm. I would recommend this set of books. Starting with Surrender to Love, moving to the Gift of Being Yourself, and closing with this book, Desiring God's Will. They are short but not quick reads as they all demand attention being given to the state of our hearts.
December 18, 2019
David Benner takes us deep within the constant battle between our hearts and our will, gently showing us that in the heart of Christian spirituality lies the alignment with God's will through our heart and our will.
But God's will has often been misunderstood, and more often sought by the sheer force of our own will alone. The author reminds us that at the core of every decision of the will there is the decision of the heart, and that it is only through loving Christ that we can truly surrender to His will. In order to realign our hearts with God's, we must take a look at our most inner desires, and discern them in light of our desire for God.
This book has lead me deep into my own personal relationship with God's will, discovering a new level of authenticity I hadn't known within my desires that lead me to God and those that lead me away.
I highly recommand it to anyone who is willing to look at their own hearts, and who wants to not only know God's will, but to desire it and be aligned with it in every part of their life.
But God's will has often been misunderstood, and more often sought by the sheer force of our own will alone. The author reminds us that at the core of every decision of the will there is the decision of the heart, and that it is only through loving Christ that we can truly surrender to His will. In order to realign our hearts with God's, we must take a look at our most inner desires, and discern them in light of our desire for God.
This book has lead me deep into my own personal relationship with God's will, discovering a new level of authenticity I hadn't known within my desires that lead me to God and those that lead me away.
I highly recommand it to anyone who is willing to look at their own hearts, and who wants to not only know God's will, but to desire it and be aligned with it in every part of their life.
October 25, 2020
It was an okay book, I had higher expectations after reading “Surrender to Love”, which is way better, in my opinion. The book explores the question of the will of God, although not from the perspective of ‘finding/discovering’ it, but of ‘desiring’ the same as God. This idea in the introduction and in the reflection on the petition of “Thy will be done” in the Lord’s prayer were provocative, but it became repetitive throughout, and not explored and tested from many different angles.
February 11, 2016
This small book is third in a trilogy by David Benner. They are all about surrender to God and how to walk with a heart that desires God. It is like drinking fresh spring water in every page. Benner is refreshing in his approach, very conversational, and a hunger for God rises up every time I pick up his book. The trilogy is worth the read... and then worth re-reading!
April 11, 2021
The trilogy of Benner books have been so effective for my spiritual walk. The lack of dogma and assumption was refreshing and so freeing. The spiritual exercises were insightful, simple and not condescending. His guidance have freed me up enormously.
July 15, 2019
Loved his writing on the overall will of God. Wasn't a fan of the more mystic writings without including Scriptures, and a lot written about personal experience. I didn't however read the other 2 before and will want to read another by him.
November 15, 2023
David Benner is becoming one of my favorite authors. This is just one of his many books filled with truth. This particular book talks about living a life of surrender and willingness out of love and not duty. This is truly transformative and so motivating.
February 28, 2017
Stunning book. Short but dense with helpful guidance and advice. I absolutely love the psychological insight, which is so often missing from spiritual instruction. Eye-opening and encouraging.
July 16, 2025
This is a book that truly changed my life. Each chapter ended with prayer and thankfulness. Heck, we even moved to a new city! Can’t recommend enough.
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