As a writer who has a book in each camp ─ professional and self-published ─ I picked up a Netgalley version of “APE” hoping to learn more about the process and to pick up some good tips. By the time I reached the book’s end, I had three pages of notes and a pounding headache.
“APE” ─ short for Author, Publisher and Entrepreneur ─ is Guy Kawasaki’s guide to all three aspects of the process. Each deserves a book in itself, so trying to cram all that into one is a major challenge, one that co-writers Kawasaki and Shawn Welch failed to meet. “APE” is a mishmash of bits and pieces, divided up into 29 brief chapters, dotted with bullet points, found illustrations, subheads and lists.
The problems with the book are so diverse that it would be better served with a review in list form. Call it “10 Reasons Why I Didn’t Like ‘APE’.”
1. A third of the book is useless.
The first 15 percent, four out of 29 chapters, answers why people read books and why you want to write a book. There is a description of traditional publishing and why this is Bad and self-publishing is Good. This is throat-clearing. The other 15 percent is taken up by a glossary of terms in the back that are obvious (Annotating, Blog, Barnes & Noble); require greater explanation to understand (Affiliate Links); or self-promoting (Alltop, Enchantment).
2. Several chapters are useless.
Chapter 21, “How to Navigate Amazon” lists the company’s acquisitions and its services. Knowing that it sells wine, CDs and clothes has nothing to do with self-publishing. Chapter 17, “How to Upload Your Book,” repeats the procedure for uploading your book to the Kindle that you’ll undergo at Amazon’s website. It’s not a difficult process requiring a chapter. Chapter 29, “How We APEd This Book” breaks down who did what and with what tools. How does it help knowing that Holly Thomson designed the cover, except to please Holly Thomson?
3. “APE” is littered with self-promotion.
Guy Kawasaki wants to make sure you know these things: he’s written a book about Google+ (mentioned 30 times) and the self-branding book “Enchantment” (19 times); that he loves Apple products (too many to count) and that Steve Jobs actually talked to him (three times); that he wrote “APE” because he could not get 500 ebook orders filled from Penguin. This really annoyed him, because he mentions it eight times.
4. Author House is promoted.
The company, recently bought by Penguin, sells overpriced editing, printing and marketing services of debatable value. Kawasaki hedges his recommendation by describing the company as “aggressive,” by mentioning its dodgy use of fake social media accounts, and its problems with disappointed customers. Then he absolves it of blame by saying with 150,000 customers, “it’s bound to have upset some customers. However, I also communicated with several authors who were happy with its services.”
What Kawasaki doesn’t do is follow his own advice later in “APE,” and Google the company’s name with “complaints.” If he had, he would have found plenty of reasons to reconsider his recommendation.
5. Kawasaki contradicts his advice.
He promotes Author House without Googling for complaints against the company. In “How to Build an Enchanting Personal Brand” ─ you know he wrote a book called “Enchantment,” didn’t you? ─ he advises to be likeable by accepting others. Later, he admits wanting to “throw up a little” when a young man wants to write a book about starting his $1 million consulting company. Not very accepting, Guy.
Kawasaki also spends large parts of “APE” complaining that his book publisher, Penguin, was poor at marketing, only to praise McGraw-Hill for promoting his Google+ book effectively. The possibility that some publicists and companies are better at marketing than others didn’t seem to occur to him.
6. Some of his advice is dubious or wrong.
He advises non-fiction writers to break up those long, dull stretches of text. “Real authors use subheds,” he writes, or bullet points. Oh, Guy, the nonfiction shelves are full of books, some of them even best-sellers, who do not feel the need to excrete bullet points of factoids.
“Jerks seldom build great brands.” Like Howard Stern? Tucker Max? Harvey Weinstein? The “Jackass” crew? Hunter S. Thompson? Unless you mean self-important self-marketers trying to occupy a niche; you might be right there.
There’s a long chapter describing the procedure, with the help of screenshots, for using Adobe’s InDesign ─ a complex page-design program, available by monthly subscription ─ to create your book. I’ve used InDesign. It’s a great program, but it complex. I would be leery of recommending its use to someone with no experience in ebook creation, because one mistake in following the directions could leave you lost. (Personally, I rather hire someone to worry about all this, just like Guy did.)
7. Some sentences make no sense.
“Traditional publishers usually create a handful of designs and then ram them down the throat of authors.” A handful for each book? For an entire line? I suppose he means that the publisher who is paying you to publish your book has the right to decide how it will be marketed. Color me surprised.
“Overdrive aside, publishers and libraries haven’t figured out how to lend ebooks.” Huh? They know how to lend ebooks; they’re doing that with Overdrive. If you mean “they don’t lend ebooks the way Guy Kawasaki wants them too, then you’re being more accurate. But still wrong.
On autographing book covers: “You can send autographed covers to readers for approximately $2 each. These fans can replace their existing cover with the autographed one, and they are more likely to show off their covers to friends and relatives.” Does Guy mean dust jackets? That’s the only “cover” I can imagine a reader replacing. And I’ve been at a number of book signings, and at those the author always sign inside, never on the cover or dust jacket, and I would suspect a lot of readers would be nonplussed if they did. But, then, what would Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman, Washington Post book critic Michael Dirda and best-selling mystery novelist Ian Rankin know about the proper way to sign books?
8. Many chapter quotes are disturbing or make no sense.
The decision to provide a nugget of wisdom at the beginning of each chapter seems like a good idea until you have to find something for, say, “How to Sell Your Ebook Through Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google and Kobo.” There you’ll find Jung’s “As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being,” to which one can only mutter, “ooooookay,” and move on. Then there’s the quote from Fidel Castro: “A revolution is a struggle to the death between the future and the past.” There’s a big difference between a dictatorship that jails dissidents and homosexuals than a revolution in self-publishing.
But the award for the most ludicrous quote has to be Chapter 21’s “How to Navigate Amazon.” It’s long, so I won’t quote it here, but it’s about dolphins engaging in nasal sex.
9. “APE” reprints undigested information.
The two pages on copyright is cut-and-pasted from the U.S. government’s website. There a sentence warning against using song lyrics, a question I’ve seen dealt with in more detail (and with better advice) on writing forums. In the chapter on translating your work, there’s three pages on the number of foreign-language speakers come from the CIA and Wikipedia. Possibly useful if knowing that there are 91 million Ethiopians will convince you to market your book there, I guess.
10. Kawasaki’s snake-oil-salesman attitude.
When we’re asked to watch master swordmaker Gassan Sadaichi “own a niche” by making a sword, I realized what creeps me out about “APE”: It is partially a guide to self-publishing, but it’s primarily a vehicle to promote Guy Kawasaki, his connections, his books, and his AllTop website. Like Seth Godin, Kawasaki follows trends, creates buzzwords, builds networks, and markets books filled with nostrums that promise success (or, as he puts it on page 75: “We’re not saying that you’ll make barrels of money as a self-publisher, but the math works. Self-publishing is an inexpensive business, and the upside potential is there.”) .
In “Dr. Who” terms, Guy is the cyberman of shilling.
“APE” is not a useless book. The advice on editing, while thin, is sound. The explanation of Lightning Source told me things I didn’t know, and the chapters on pitching bloggers and reviewers and creating social media is informative. But these are islands in a sea of mediocre information. “APE” is a frustrating mess that, if it weren’t for Kawasaki’s wide platform, wouldn’t have passed muster at any New York publishing house.