The Geek's Guide to Dating

by Eric Smith

You keep your action figures in their original packaging. Your bedsheets are officially licensed Star Wars merchandise. You’re hooked on Elder Scrolls and Metal Gear but now you’ve discovered an even bigger obsession: the new girl who just moved in down the hall. What’s a geek to do? Take some tips from Eric Smith in The Geek’s Guide to Dating. This hilarious primer leads geeks of all ages through the perils and pitfalls of meeting women, going on dates, getting serious, breaking up, and establishing a successful lifelong relationship (hint: it’s time to invest in new bedsheets). Full of whimsical 8-bit illustrations, The Geek’s Guide to Dating will teach fanboys everywhere to love long and prosper.

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor, Self Help, Romance, Adult, Relationships, Ebooks

208 pages, Hardcover

First published December 3, 2013

About the author

Eric Smith is a Young Adult author and literary agent living in Philadelphia.

His next book, Jagged Little Pill: The Novel, a collaboration with Alanis Morissette, Diablo Cody, and Glen Ballard, will be published with Abrams in April 2022. It’s an adaptation of the Grammy and Tony award winning musical.

His latest books include You Can Go Your Own Way (Inkyard Press) and the acclaimed anthology Battle of the Bands (Candlewick), co-edited with award-winning author Lauren Gibaldi. It’s currently being adapted for film by Playground Entertainment.

His novel Don’t Read the Comments was a YALSA 2021 Best Fiction for Young Adults selection. The paperback is out now.

He has short stories and essays in the anthologies Color Outside the Lines by Sangu Mandanna (Soho Teen), Body Talk by Kelly Jensen (Algonquin), Allies by Dana Alison Levy and Shakirah Bourne (DK), All Signs Point to Yes by Candice Montgomery, cara davis-araux, and Adrianne Russell (Inkyard), and Adoptee to Adoptee by Nicole Chung and Shannon Gibney (Harper).

His other books include the IndieBound bestseller The Geek’s Guide to Dating (Quirk), Inked (Bloomsbury), the anthology Welcome Home (Flux), and contemporary fantasy novel The Girl and the Grove (Flux).

Reviews

[Kate]

I will admit to having not read the book. However, I was interested.. until I read the description. I'll just put it nice and simple:

NOT ALL GEEKS ARE GUYS!

Added on December 11, 2013:

Given that this short little review continues to get likes and comments, I thought I should comment further as to why I originally posted it. As of the time of this posting, I still have not read this book. I turned down the author's offer of an ARC due to having too many aggravating things going on in my life at the time (and said aggravations have not lessened sadly) and could not dedicate the time to give the book a decent review. That being said, I have noticed that the book is available at my local library, so I'll give it a grab after the holidays.

Despite all this, I stand by my original statement: "NOT ALL GEEKS ARE GUYS!" Clearly, this simple review resonated with a lot of folks on Goodreads. The mere concept of female geeks is often outright ignored; forced into narrow, allowed areas; or outright challenged and denied. The book's description is clearly for the male geek only, and this all to common focus just brought up so many connections to how my geekiness is not relevant simply due to my gender. If I mention I read comics, the assumption is usually that it's either Wonder Woman or manga love stories. We had the whole "fake geek girl" rant from Joe Peacock all too recently. I'm sure that plenty of the people who liked this review could share similar stories, either personal or one's they have heard from others.

Moreover, even if the book focused on the guy's point of view, the book description makes clear that this is about dating a non-geek. Again, the idea of a female geek is being ignored. My feminine sensibilities do not make me immediately adverse to Star Wars bedsheets. A guy going on and on about Metal Gear would drive me away, however. I'm just not into console gaming. Frankly, the perils of inter-geek dating are far more interesting. I'm an indie and webcomics geek with a small passion for some tabletop gaming. How would I connect with a console or Internet-gaming geek whose only comic interests are mecha manga?

Maybe I shouldn't be so preemptively judgmental, however. I have been told the advice is mostly universal. Yet, I feel persnickety to ask why couldn't the book be written from that view. Don't force it into geek male dating non-geek female. Geek dating a non-geek is a worthy topic, and--hey--you automatically avoid being called heteronormative by not insisting on which gender dates which gender. Fundamentally, the book's title is where my problems with it start. If it is focused on just geek guys dating non-geeky women, just call it what it really is: A Geek Guy's Guide to Dating Non-Geek Girls.

-- metageek
'an academic geek gal seeking actual, useful advice on dating while being geeky'

[Vishnu Chevli · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have taken "The Geek's Guide To Dating" by Eric Smith because of its very unique cover. Being a geek myself I was curious about book content and what would I find in this book.

Talking about context, if you're wondering what kind of geek this book is written, then let me tell you, my friend, it is written for all kinds of geek whether you are pop culture, techno or academic geeks it will work. Though written mostly is for boys, the book is written in such a way that being a girl I still enjoyed reading this book. The language of the book is pretty easy to follow. It was a fun and interesting read. Especially, if you're a gamer then this book is a must-read for you guys.

Lastly, for all my geek friends out there trying to date, I am telling you from a girl's point of view follow this book and you will have a date or at least confidence to go on a date at the end of this read.

Detailed Review Link - http://chevusread.blogspot.in/2018/04...

[jv poore · Rating 5 out of 5]

While the advice in The Geek’s Guide to Dating is undoubtedly spot-on for all single, self-professed geeks; it, in no way, should be limited to that audience. “Geek” is proudly owned by excitable, quirky, intelligent and often goofy folks; with a “proper geek” being one consumed by a particular passion. Geeks are never exclusive. This thoughtful, kind, and hilarious book is applicable to all members of society. It is a superb, subtle reminder of how to treat other people.

I’m particularly smitten with the idea that Mr. Smith’s first step is introspective. Figure yourself out, determine your goals, identify opportunities for improvement….essentially: get a grip on your own life before co-mingling.

Helpful hints pepper the pages. Useful quotes from Led Zeppelin to Yoda are more widely applicable than I could have imagined. References from The Simpsons to Pokémon ensure that there is absolutely something for everyone. To accurately convey the spirit of the book and entice you to try it, I would remiss if I did not share a few of my favorite tips, tid-bits and reminders.
Narrowing horizons in any aspect—self-limiting

“Let your geek flag fly because someone will salute it.”

Dressing on a date is less about establishing your geek cred; all about being presentable in public

Avoid “more Rasputin than romantic” when grooming

Moms’ favorites that stand the test of time
Stand up straight
Listen
Eye contact

Communicate clearly: state intent and have a plan

Equating a date to a “real life Choose Your Own Adventure book”

“Weather chitchat is where conversation goes to die.”

I’ve thoroughly enjoyed this delightful tome and it has served as a spectacular gift on several occasions and I hope that you'll give it a try. You'll dig it, I just know it.

[Eric Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hey I wrote this like two years ago! Maybe I should give it a review. Because why not.

[Beth Cato · Rating 5 out of 5]

The publisher sent me this book by accident--I was supposed to get another title--but it was really a delightful mistake. I adored this book. Even though I'm a geek, I'm not in the target demographic at all. The book is targeted for single men, though most of the information is highly relevant to women and that issue is addressed right at the start. As for me: I've been married for thirteen years, since I was 20. I don't need dating advice at this point; more like, advice on how to tell my husband, nicely, to pick up his socks off the floor for the &^% time.

But as I mentioned before, I'm a geek. At my wedding, I walked down the aisle to the Final Fantasy theme--something I had planned since I was 11. I married a like-minded geek. We're raising a Portal-obsessed mini geek.

Therefore, I related to this book in a major way. The text is laced with a constant stream of game and comic-inspired metaphors. They might annoy some people, but I got a huge kick out of it. I knew I'd love the book when, just a few pages in, the author described how he had grown to maturity and re-played Chrono Trigger along the way and named Marle for different crushes and girlfriends.

The illustrations are all 8-bit inspired and kept making me smile. The tips in the book run the full gamut. A lot of time is spent on how-to-meet girls, how to find common ground, and what not to do. The attitude is extremely healthy here and emphasizes that even if she says no or things don't go well, you're gaining EXP and it all adds up. Smith provides tips on preparing for the date, how to dress (and smell), and how to know things are getting serious. The subject of sex is addressed but not dwelt on, but it really felt like the perfect amount of attention to the subject.

I really wish this book had existed in the late '90s. So does my husband. I often paused to read him funny excerpts as I went through. So Eric Smith, if you find a way to rip a hole in time and space, please send this book to my 18-year-old self. Sure, some of the reference won't make any sense ("What's this Portal game and talk of cakes?") but you reference Final Fantasy (even the opera in VI!) and Star Wars and lots of other things that make me happy.

The book won't be published until December, but if you're a geek in need of a date (or married like me, and want a fun read) this is one to add to your wish list now.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh, me, oh, my. So seeing as I really did just read this book in less time than a day again (though not as fast as a Gayle Foreman, Alexandra Harvey, Rowling, etc) I definitely think this needs reviewing pretty much on the spot. I really want to be able to give this book five stars, because it is a truly, adorably, fabulous little book *but* (and I want to start with these to knock them out of the way as possible), this is a niche book and it gets it down a level for me.

Especially because you will not find the following in the pages of the book listed --

1. Advice and commentary on either being/or looking to date in the LGBTQIAAP realm. (For those of you not in the wide sexology referencing know, these stand for 'lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, asexual, allies, and panseuxal' and that's only the beginning of the alphabet soup). But you won't find except one sneeze of a reference titled 'I think my dates a guy...' and it's not framed positively, but it is tiny.

2. Nor will you find advice for the Geek Girl looking to date. Or the Geek Boy and what he should do with having stumbled on to the rampantly more obvious in the day and age Geek Girl, and how to date her.

I was disappointed on both counts, because I was enamored and in love with the cover from first glance, and wanted to find things I identified with in here. Which happens to be in both of those boxes, as well as several pieces of what I found in the book. This book is very specifically for the (White) Awkward (Straight) Male Geek toward the Modern (Likely Not Geeky) Woman. (Maybe even specifically the one born in the eighties and raised in the ninty's).


BUT WAIT. Don't turn away now!


It *is* a niche book, but it's an amazing book for being a niche book!

I spent this entire book smiling, shaking my head in fondness, cackling at all the references I caught everywhere and laughing at how ingeniously the whole thing was framed to be given to heteronormative boys/men. There are so many references to movies, tv shows, games, books, comics, that you are almost drowning in them. But it's the perfect kind of drowning where you don't want to come up.

The Player One title the whole way through and the no-nonsense approach to all of it is killer. From how to befriend, to how to ask, to how to deal with marriage and/or break-ups. I'm going to be picking up a handful of copies for people at Christmas, don't you doubt me.

[CS · Rating 4 out of 5]

NOTE: Thanks to the author, Eric Smith, who saw my interest in the book and offered me a free copy for review.

How this book got into my hands is a rather fun story. I actually had never heard of it until I was perusing my library's ebook selection and saw it as an available loan. Being a geek (though not one currently in the market), I couldn't pass up the opportunity.

I also couldn't help but check it out here. It turns out, one of the most prominent "reviews" also had an interesting discussion on the "geek girls" phenomenon. At that point, I was hoping this book wouldn't turn out to support that "fake geek girls" bullcrap.

That was when I got a message from the author, asking if I would like a free copy. Well, I knew I wouldn't be able to finish the ebook in 7 days, being the Slowest Reader on the Planet, so I accepted.

So first off, thank you, Eric Smith, for sending me this free copy!!

On the whole, this book was a riot. It was funny, it was upbeat, it was full of great geekisms that didn't strike me as someone desperately pretending to be a nerd/geek while totally missing the mark. (There is nothing worse than someone misspelling "Boba Fett" or mangling up "Live Long and Prosper" in an attempt to "get" us geeks.) That said, if you aren't on the up-and-up on multiple geek franchises, don't be surprised if you end up lost. (And if you liked "Matrix Reloaded" or "Matrix Revolutions" - I'm sorry.)

The dating advice is what I would say is your "standard" dating advice, although framed for the "geek" audience who will get the 80 bajillion varied geekisms. It's really nothing new, even for someone like me who has been on a whopping 3 dates in her entire life. That said, there were some tips and tricks and insights that were decidedly focused on the shy, the innocent, and the n00bs among us geeks.

Probably the biggest "disappointment" for me, is the fact that most of the book is addressed to the Geek Guy trying to date a girl (either geek or non-geek). While I do appreciate how the author included a section at the beginning saying that there WERE geek girls (and denouncing the "fake geek girl" phenomenon) and that this book could easily be modified for them, I have to ask - why not just tweak the book and make it for either sex? Yes, certain sections - such as trimming facial hair - would change, but on the whole, it wouldn't be that much of a change. It also pretty much assumes the heterosexual Guy/Girl arrangement too, so Geek Guys looking for fellow Geek Guys (or Geek Girls looking for Geek Girls) may feel similarly "left out".

I'll also add I've read parts of the ebook and the hardcover, and I like the hardcover MUCH better. The 8-bit pictures (which are delightfully cute in the hardcover) and having mini-essays in the middle of a section make it VERY challenging to see in the ebook.

BUT if you can get around that, if you can just look past the strict guy/girl, this really is a delightfully funny book. And even though much of the advice you've heard elsewhere, there ARE some tips that are particularly useful for the shy, inexperienced geeks among us. I definitely feel it's worth checking out!

[Bonnie Burton · Rating 5 out of 5]

If dating seems more like a dismal game of Frogger instead of a fun Zelda adventure, you need to read "The Geek's Guide to Dating" by Eric Smith! Learn how to meet people in the real world and connect off-line for a change. You may even level up to a romance worthy of an RPG!

[Cassandra Rose · Rating 4 out of 5]

REVIEW ALSO ON: http://bibliomantics.com/2013/10/19/a...

Author and Geekadelphia founder Eric Smith gained his 15-minutes of nerd fame when he found out his girlfriend was cheating on him and he sold the engagement ring he had planned to give her and bought a full set of Master Chief armor with it. He then wrote about it in a hilarious if devastating internet post entitled: Master Grief. Ring any bells? Get it, ring?

Anyway, what better person to pen a book of dating advice by a geek for a geek? One who has recently landed himself a smoking hot fiance might I add. No one, that's who.

Dateless geeks, I give you your Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Despite dealing heavily with the male pronoun (seeing that Eric's a dude and all), as a married female I still found this book incredibly enjoyable. As a section in the book notes, there's no reason why the pronoun can't be changed as if a female were to ask a male out or a male a male or a female a female, this is the 21st century after all. And for us ladies, there's always the hilarious references and insight into the male psyche. Or you know, what little of the male psyche there is. I kid, I kid.

I totally don't kid.

Eric speaks directly to his reader, titled throughout cheekily as Player One who is seeking his Player Two because "you're tired of living life in the single player mode." Others vying for dates are referred to as NPCs (non-player characters) throughout to keep up with this video game theme.



To keep things simple, Eric's advice is broken up into easy to digest sections from figuring out what type of geek you really are (Select Your Character: Your Quest Begins) to preparing to put yourself out there (Engage! Plotting Your Course Through the Dating Realm) to taking things to the next level (Beyond Thunderdome: The Day After, and Beyond) to breaking up with your Player Two if things don't work out because let's be realistic here (Boss Level: Advanced Geek Dating).

To keep things lively the advice is part real life examples and part references from geek popular culture as well as actual statistical data. For example, the second date is compared to franchise movie sequels, meeting her parents is compared to interacting with an alien species and break up advice is gleaned from events in Star Wars. Don't worry, it works so well.

In addition to practical advice that is helpful rather than judgmental- as is the case in some advice/self-help books- Smith's work is full of hilarious references that will have you stifling your giggles. For example, the line "Rome wasn't built in a day-not even space Rome," "Supernatural" references such as "keep calm and carry on, my wayward son" and using puns like the "double-edged vorpal sword" and marriage retitled to "the fellowship of the ring."

Have no fear though, The Geek's Guide to Dating runs the gamut of plenty of fandoms, including "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," "Doctor Who," Star Wars, X-Men, "Star Trek," Harry Potter and a billion video games references that I recognized but didn't necessarily understand. Unless it was about the cake being a lie! There's even a hilarious To Serve Man footnote that had me rolling on the floor. Almost literally.

For us bibliophiles, there's even a nerd type for us in the section about determining what your geek classification is. A section that can be enjoyed by both sexes. Read this excerpt on the weaknesses of the Book Geek and tell me it's not you, because I am more than willing to admit that it is definitely me.

If you're a bibliophile, your eyes will immediately dart to the bookcase when you walk into someone's home for the first time. You know you're not supposed to judge a book by it's cover (as it were), but you can't help it. You're only human (unlike the protagonists of the Twilight box set you're casting your judgey glance on). Instead of treating someone's taste in reading matter (or lack thereof) as a red flag, use it as a jumping-off point to ask questions that go deeper than the usual get-to-know-you fare. Hey, maybe there's some redeeming value to the Twilight series that you've overlooked. (Spoilers: There's not.)

I was lucky enough to get my hands on/get emailed an earlier draft of this book before any of the pictures or formatting was added and if I was amused and impressed by the content, the layout and design makes it even that much better. Can you say adorkable? I'd hope you can, but that doesn't mean you necessarily want to so feel free to ignore me.

Basically, what I'm saying is, get ready for some 8-bit adorable in your future you lucky reader you!

The Geek's Guide to Dating will be out on December 3, just in time for that unlucky in love geek who needs a Christmas gift! Or for us non-goys, it'll be available for the last three days of Chanukah! PRE-ORDER NOW!!!

And don't forget to check out the acknowledgments page, you might recognize a name in there. ::insert me cheesing really hard here::

[Stay Fetters · Rating 1 out of 5]

"Be original and genuine... unless you truly do love piña coladas and getting caught in the rain. In that case, good luck with the pneumonia and alcoholism."

I've always thought that I was the weird nerd. The nerd who loves to read, has tattoos and would punch your face in at the drop of a line. And then I've read this book. I realized that I'm not even close. The jokes went over my head, I know how to talk to people and what the hell did those abbreviations even mean?
And yes, I searched for every single one and still have no clue what they even mean.

Ninety nine point nine percent of the jokes made me tilt my head like Michael Myers or a dog who heard a high pitched noise. I may have even shifted my eyes side to side to look at people who may have gotten it. Even the ghost looking over my shoulder was clueless.

My husband won this book in a giveaway and thought it looked quirky enough to stand the test of time in my forever bookshelves. Hey now! I never claimed to be always right.... This shouldn't even be able to look at my other lovelies. (Looks at it in disgust)

Sit back, grab your light saber... hey! Hey! Hey! Stop that! That is definitely not a light saber!! And enjoy the perks of finding mr. or mrs. right!

And cough... cough.... it starts off at a snails pace and ends up in the dumpster. The rules and rituals to finding a date and keeping them happy were very mediocre and not even satire funny. My husband thought I was sick through the entire book due to the look on my face. I wish that was the truth.

If any man or manbaby used any of these tips on me, that person would be gasping for breath as I karate chopped him in the throat or kicked him in his special area. A dog has more personality than anyone who uses this as an actual guide.

I know the perfect way to talk to someone you're crushing.... put your big girl pants on and grow a pair.

[Debby · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars

Now, I'm not really a non-fiction reader, but with its quirky title, The Geek's Guide to Dating quickly became a must-read for me. And reading it was an absolutely wonderful experience. I giggled so much. This is just a great book for anyone on the geeky side of the spectrum looking to be entertained. You might just learn something too.

First off, the structure and design of this book is absolutely fabulous. The layout is reminiscent of a textbook, but it has cute little 8-bit drawings as illustrations and anecdotal sections that really bring Smiths "theories" home. The book may be a bit guy-oriented, admittedly, but I didn't mind that very much. Much like Smith's note on this at the beginning of the book says, a lot of the theories are just as applicable to girls. And I was mostly in it for the humor and entertainment.

Where this book wins is with its humorous voice and loads of geeky references. Now, I may not have known all of the references (because the geeksphere is so huge) but there were more than enough points where I was seriously giggling. If you're geeky and you speak this language, you will seriously appreciate this book. It's just massively entertaining. I would advise you to just read a short excerpt on Amazon or something to check it out - and if you start chuckling, buy the book, because you will not regret it.

What I love is that, aside from all the geeky references that get you giggling because you just understand the geek mentality, Smith really brings some solid points about dating advice. If you're geeky, chances are you're rather pessimistic about your own qualities when it comes to dating. I feel like there is usually a correlation between geekiness and self-deprecation. But in chapters like "Selecting Your Character", where it dives into the different kinds of geeks (I'm a TV & Film Geek, Internet Geek, Social Media Geek, and Book Geek) and what skills they possess (for me that's the wide-open mind, empathic sensor, and minutia recall), it shows you how you also possess desirable qualities. On a related note, this book kind of opened my mind to the idea of online dating. So yeah, there might not be mindblowing theories that transform you into a successful dating bot, but it's realistic and honest in an extremely comforting way.

I guess the biggest weakness of The Geek's Guide to Dating is that it really could have used another editing round. There were quite a few glaring grammatical errors - sentences where words were just plain missing as a result of revising and rewriting... it got quite annoying when this happened more than 5 times. If they're such glaring mistakes that are that obvious when someone is reading the book for the first time... an editor really should have caught that.

Summing Up:

This book was bunches of fun and a great light pick-me-up in between my fiction reads. So many giggles to be had guys. And with its realism, the points it makes are applicable. While reading it, I was actually referencing some sections in conversations with friends. Whoops. If anything, The Geek's Guide To Dating makes me proud to embrace my geek identity - and anxious to find the kind of geeky guy who's following this advice. I think he'd be pretty perfect.

GIF it to me straight!



Recommended To:

Geeks in the mood for geeky humor.


*Finished copy was received from the author/publisher. This does not affect the rating or contents of my review.

[Dean Tsang · Rating 5 out of 5]

As I was browsing the shelves at Waterstones for a self-help book I came across this little gem. A few days later, I began reading, and once I started it became very hard for me to stop.

Before I address how much of a brilliant book this is, I'd like to express my opinion on some of the issues and criticisms relating to the concept of this handy guide. Firstly, there's the issue that the book only addresses male geeks, and ignores female gamers. Yes, I agree that it is an issue, but there is a section that addresses the female geek, and the book doesn't deny that they exist. In fact, the book in itself is pretty pro-feminist, encouraging the man to view her as a complete person, and not as a saviour (MPDG), as a project (when someone wants to enter a relationship to help repair a person) or as an object (the book encourages the geek not to treat his affection like a damsel in distress). Most importantly though, the book insists that men avoid dismissing a gamer girl as a simple fake, and that they should acknowledge and respect their existence. These should be pretty obvious, but I felt like they needed to be said, and I'm glad that Smith included them.

Next up is how it fails to cover issues relating to other sexualities. The book is pretty narrow in the sexual spectrum, failing to address potential approaches for LGBT partnerships. While you could make the argument that some approaches are still relevant (online dating, finding new social groups, etc) the book could touch on specific issues relating to the LGBT community (such as finding out a potential interest's sexuality, for example).

Yet, the reason why I'm willing to forgive this book is because it offers a website where other issues have the potential to be covered. Yes, it can be seen like a cop-out, but it's much better than not having any link at all- at least they can address the issue in the future.

I will confess that this five star rating is partially biased. Personally, I would have liked to see some asexual content in there as well, but I found the two hundred pages of advice to be satisfactory on their own. The book concisely covers methods and tips for all stages of the dating life, and makes an abundance of quirky references to geek culture along the way. I was squealing in happiness when they went as far as to reference Dragonforce (because I thought that barely anyone liked Dragonforce, but here we are).

Every section was an entertaining read, and the approach to the subject of relationships and dating was taken with the right mixture of seriousness and humour. The book is super effective in its analogies, and I found that as the book progressed, my exp bar in knowledge gradually increase. As a result, this book was an epic win and gave me some fantastic insight into the world of dating (especially in informing me of the dreaded neckbeard!)

Personally, if the website doesn't cover the issues in the end, I'd love for this dating guide to have a sequel that was more LGBT-friendly, delving deeper into other issues such as limerence, moving at different paces, potential disagreements with friends, reasons for breaking up, and perhaps giving advice for women-specific issues. Making the sequel gender-neutral would be another level up, but it's not something I'm going to nitpick at (because of the acknowledgement earlier).

If you're a geek, then obviously I'm going to recommend this. Read it, then read it again, and then tell every one of your nerdy/geeky friends to read this fantastic piece of self-help.

[Ken · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dating is hard, no matter what your demographic, but geeks have some negative stereotypes to overcome. I picked up Eric Smith's book to see what advice he might have.

For those of you seeking your Player Two, Smith breaks down the game into seven stages, including getting your life in order, asking her out, preparing for the first date, and having the first date, as well as end-stage games such as moving in together or breaking up. Little of the material is groundbreaking, such as "Stand up straight" and "Be confident", or where to meet potential partners, including not only traditional outlets like comic book shops and arcades (do those still exist?), but also Facebook, OKCupid.com, and MMORPGs. Most of the advice is stuff I've intuited, though maybe if someone had given me this book a decade or two ago, it would've saved me some grief.

Smith may not be offering original advice, but he does try wrapping it in a unique context. There are so many cloying video game references, so many of them unnecessary to the dialogue, that it was originally difficult to see past how clever the author was trying to be. His demonstrations of geekdom work best when serving as metaphor, such as by giving examples of fictional characters to emulate or not.

One thing to keep in mind is that the book is steadfastly heteronormative: it's written for straight men looking to meet and engage straight women in a traditional, monogamous relationship. Although Smith acknowledges early on that some of the advice can be applied to women looking to meet men, there is no acknowledgement of the existence of other lifestyles. Smith is also exceedingly optimistic that every woman a geek meets is single and available, and that if you play your cards right, you can score a date — there's no advice for determining if the other party is available, which at my age I find they're often not.

To be clear, this is not a "pick-up artist" book. Smith advocates against practices such as negging and instead encourages readers to be chivalrous but not sexist.

I did enjoy the book: despite a few typos, it's easy to read, and the pixel art is a fun complement. But since I've read no other dating books, I have nothing to compare it to. At the least, I hoped reading this book on public transit might pique some other geek's interest into initiating a conversation — but no such luck was to be had.

[Michelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

I know…you’re looking at this and you’re not sure you even want to read the review. A self-help guide to dating…yikes! But hear me out because this one is actually really fun and actually contains helpful advice, and the best part is it’s speaks our language: Geek.

This book uses the word ‘he’ a lot but fear not geek ladies, if you have common sense you are equipped to switch out those pronouns and use the advice yourself. Also you’re probably wondering if a book nerd will relate to something that looks pretty video game based, the answer is yes it does. In fact none of this is exclusive advice and even if you don’t understand all the references I bet there will be some that at least get you to chuckle a bit.

Now on to the actual content. If you know me then you know I’ve been in a relationship for over 6 years and if you really know me then you know I never did much of the dating thing. I was one of those super lucky people who hit it off immediately with the person I plan to spend the rest of my life with, in high school no-less. BUT if I did have to do the dating thing I think this would have been helpful, especially since I’m one of those people who is painfully “shy” (social anxiety) and is bound to screw up sentence structure when under pressure. It starts off with getting to know who you are as a person and a geek, gives you advantages/disadvantages of each niche and tells you how to apply them to real life situations. It even gives you tips on where to meet people, geeky and on, and how to get to the point of asking that person out. You get a ton of tips: tips for the more mature situations, how to keep things fresh, tips on how to prep yourself for a date, and how to handle when things get serious or fizzle out. In fact I’m a bit surprised how much ground it covered in just over 200 pages and that is definitely a good thing. No one wants to spend weeks reading a text book sized dating guide.

So if you’re like me and already out of the dating game you can still enjoy this. It has some really great lines in it and a ton of fun references that had me laughing out loud. You can even get some really great ideas for date night with your boyfriend/girlfriend/hubby/wife (*phew*). Not only is the book fun to look at, it’s fun to read.

[Liviania · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was instantly drawn to THE GEEK'S GUIDE TO DATING. The cover is cute and, well, I'm a geek and not all that great at meeting new people. I am, however, a girl. THE GEEK'S GUIDE TO DATING is aimed almost entirely at straight guys, which is made clear inside, but not on the back copy.

Now, there are plenty of bits of advice I found helpful, but I'd've liked for THE GEEK'S GUIDE TO DATING to try to make more than a few cursory gestures toward the whole dating spectrum. (In fact, I think there is more advice for transgender daters than gay, lesbian, or bi daters.) The advice I found personally most useful is about places to meet people. I'll not give away the secrets of the book, but there were some fun activities suggested. The book was very right in guessing that the bar scene isn't really my scene.

I can't see THE GEEK'S GUIDE TO DATING appealing outside of the subculture. The references fly fast and furious. I'm sure I missed some of the video game ones, at least. The guide does excel in showcasing the diversity of geekhood. It's also pretty good about how showing geeky skills like picking out which show to follow next or which merchandise to collect can apply to dating.

THE GEEK'S GUIDE TO DATING isn't perfect, but it is funny and contains plenty of good advice.

[Cheryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you are a geek in any form of the work either by appearance or at heart then you will enjoy this book. Even if you are not looking for someone. I am a geek in the form of a computer gamer. I have played some video games but my heart really belongs with computer games like Duke Nukem, Wolfenstein, Civilization, and World of Warcraft.

So as I was reading this book I could relate to references that the author was making on the different persona, how to approach and interact with your date, and what each type of geek can bring to the table with their special abilities.

For example me being a gamer:

Our strengths are:

Dedicated and loyal but we are also seekers of novelty. Because a computer game can get old quickly without our patches or expansions. We are constantly questing and leveling up, a competitive instinct that suits the thrill of the chase in the dating world.

Our weaknesses are:

We have a tendency to conflate girls IRL with our virtual damsels in distress. We need to learn to look at women like NPCs, they are quest givers and not just rewards. Or best yet think of them as playing on the same team against the rest of the world.

[Kirtida Gautam · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am a Geek. A proud Geek! My idea of romance is to watch Battlestar Galactica with my spouse who is a fellow geek. The book hit home. It's difficult for me to laugh while reading something (come to think of it, it's difficult for me to feel any emotion while reading, I hardly get emotional in general-- Han!) But this book made me laugh at least at 3 different places.
My favorite one is-- Sometimes things go well and you make a connection that leads to a free exchange of ideas (or DNA)
Also,
-- So once you have spotted a life form you'd like to know better
I laughed aloud when I read it.
So, yes, if you are a Geek (not a mere mortal) and want to know how your fellow species members FEEL or THINK that they are feeling, pick this book.

[Maria Stanica · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars
Here's my video review: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VD7yg...

[Adam · Rating 5 out of 5]

I finished this well written book in one day: it was hard(er than normal) to stop reading. The writing is as humorous as it is helpful.

[Julio Biason · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have to be honest: The first 1/3 of the book was quite boring. If you ever read any other dating-advice book, there is a lot of same tips: Listen to her, find some common ground, etc, etc, etc. All that with heavy drops of geek/nerd culture: game references, movie references, book references and the continuous use of referring to the reader as "Player One" (ok, I get it: People are trying to get their "Player Two", but heck, calm the freaking down).

The later parts are a bit better, going off the common ground: casual dating, second date, how to dress, how to make things work when things get serious, what you should be looking for a long term relationship and how to act when things fall down -- either by your own decision or theirs.

But there is something off here: Sure, it is somewhat fun getting ideas using analogies based on nerd stuff (again, games, movies and books), but the whole thing seems focused on geek guys, and I feel it would be really interesting, as a guy, to understand the female perspective of this all. The book tries (tries) to make things a bit less biased by adding a disclaimer that geek girls can also read the book, and should just replace the "she/her" to "he/him" -- which absolutely does not work on some chapters, like the "How to Dress" part.

And yes, the heavy use of drop/nerd references in the first half does not help the lighter use in the second half: You're already tired of reading about Mario or Sonic or whatever.

I'm going to give a 3 star just because it does the extra mile of going to different ideas of dating (serious vs casual), dealing with things going serious and breakups.

[Kiswara Federico Mihardja · Rating 5 out of 5]

So, we both know why you’re here. You’re tired of living life in single player mode; you’re on a quest for a Player Two to call your own. ― Eric Smith, The Geek's Guide to Dating

[Angie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Angela's Anxious Life - full review

First up... book cover. I love it so much. I think of myself as a geek and so I was in!! I mean YES! A friend, myself and my husband sat around reading this book aloud and laughing so hard.

Let me say.. I am a girl. I am a girl who is a geek. This book is not really written for girls. Just men. You can take what is written and put a girl in the place of situations... but it's still not totally for girls. There is a page that Smith writes to the geek girls reading apologizing but he does say it's written by a geek guy for geek guys. Also.. there is A LOT of geek terminology in this book so well if you aren't a geek you just won't get it.

I play a lot of Dungeons and Dragons. So I like how when you would read along things were given points (like +3 Wind-open mind). The book talks about what kind of geek you are. You read through it and pick which one... I would say I am a book geek (there were a few more geeks in there I think I am, but since this is mainly a book blog I'll pick that one). I love it... it says for weaknesses "your eyes will immediately dart to the bookcase when you walk into someone's home for the first time. You know you're not suppose to judge a book by it's cover, but you can't help it. You're only human (unlike the protagonists of the Twilight book set you're casting your judgey glance on). Instead of treating someone's taste in reading matter as a red flag, use it as a jumping off point to ask questions." I thought this was funny!


I love that in another chapter asking someone out is compared to the tracks in Mario Kart. The tracks are named (Telephone Talkin', Social Media Schomoozin, In Person Parley, ) they are assigned a difficult level, the Terrain is described and then there are track tips. As a gamer I get a real kick out of this. I haven't been on the dating scene in many many years. 15 years in fact. Wow. This book though is still fun to read. Dating is so different now I don't know what I would do! I met my husband in high school so that was easy. Now... though.. with facebook, cell phones, skype (am I aging myself here). I think it would be crazy.

There is a song playlist with geeky tunes (songs from Zelda and Halo) that will get you ready for the date night. The book also provides a Chose Your Own Adventure section (best books ever) where you read along and make choices for your date night. If you chose the wrong choice Game Over... good choice you're the winner! Plus Easter Eggs are given (Easter Eggs for those that don't know are little surprises found in games/movies/books).

I read this book cover to cover. Usually with these niche books I skim them and read what's interests me. The whole book was entertaining to me. Even the parts about men and grooming for the date. The references to geek culture entertained me enough to just read through it all. I pretty much understood every reference made = I am an epic geek~! Let's be honest though.. Smith now needs to write a book for married people. There was even a nice ending in the book about breaking up and how to do it. For people who are more mature you probably don't need this part... but people who haven't dumped a lot of people it's nice advice.


The art work in the book is fun too. A bunch of 8 bit drawing in it are cute. Like the cover they pull the reader in. Since my book came from the library I couldn't see the cover underneath the slipcase but googled it and sure enough people have pictures of it up. The author Eric Smith runs the website Geekadelphia which I have been checking out and is fun. I wish he would move to where I live and start up a website here!

Seriously pick this book up, for the men in your life. I will say it's not totally for women so you may want to just pick it up from the library for them to enjoy!!

[Karissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got a copy of this book to review through the Amazon Vine program. It was a fun read. The book is aimed more at the male than the female daters, but can apply to both. I really enjoyed the sheer amount of geekiness that is packed into this book.

This dating guide is laid out like a gaming manual, which is really clever. The first chapter is “Selecting Your Character”, followed by chapters on “Engage!”, and “Do or Not Do”. You get the idea.

This book is aimed at male geeks who need help with dating. As such I am definitely not the target audience (female and married, yes the geek part applies though). That being said I still had a lot of fun reading this book. It is really done in a clever way and I loved trying to find all the geeky references as I read it. There are cute little pixelated images throughout that added some fun to the book too.

A lot of what is in here does apply to female geeks to. Although there portions of the book that focus on grooming and hopefully they aren’t a lot of girls out there struggling with keeping their facial hair in line. These portions also talk about how to dress for a casual versus formal date, and while geek girls out there could opt for slacks and a tie...I am guessing most of them won’t. So while some portions of the book will apply to girls, many parts of it do not.

There are many conversation scenarios laid out about what to say and not say. The “First Contact” section of the book is done like a choose your own adventure. You pick the conversation option and then follow it to GAME OVER or next date. These were pretty much spot on. I was actually laughing a little as I read them because I have had so many guys say or do the GAME OVER type of things to me throughout my life. I was just like “OMG I totally had some guy go off about his Star Wars collection for 20 minutes within 30 seconds of meeting him and it WAS totally game over”. Just an example...I do love Star Wars...

There is quite a bit in here about how to deal with both online and in person forms of dating. There are also some warnings about doing things that might hurt long term friendships, like dating within WOW guilds...etc. These are things that are a bit more specific to the geek community and it was good to see them discussed.

The issues of what to do when you are shot down are addressed as well, which is important because not everything will always work out.

I also enjoyed the Boss Level that talks about things that make a relationship work long term; you know trusting each other, how to deal with disagreements, etc. They are all recommendations toward a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Yeah, it sounds cliche’ but it’s still really important.

Overall this was a fun read and I thought it provided a lot of sound advice. It is more aimed at a male audience, but females will find good advice in here too. Even though I am not dating right now, I enjoyed reading it because of all the fun geeky references. I also thought the book was laid out in a creative way that made it engaging to read. Lots of good advice in here. I found myself nodding in agreement with a lot of the DO NOT DO or GAME OVER things. It really wouldn’t hurt all geeks, especially those in the dating stage, to give this book a read through. It’s fun and provides some good advice.

[Johnny Bergman · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would not really classify myself as a “Geek” but I have some geek qualities: I love to read books, I “fanboy” at certain fandoms, collect random popular culture items (posters and cards), and you can see me at random cons throughout the year. Well, I guess I am a geek in my own right.

When I received The Geek’s Guide to Dating in the mail, I was pretty excited that I was picked to read the book. It was my first ARC that I have had the opportunity to read. Of course, I kept telling myself that I would be a “super nerd” if I read this book, but in all honesty, this book is for everyone (for both males and females). I even read the guide in one book sitting. I could not put it down. I found myself laughing at his jokes and various popular culture references, especially his references to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Super Smash Brothers, and Pokemon. Although I did not know every popular culture reference that Smith made, he made it understandable for his readers. For example, Smith brings up Magic: The Gathering a couple of times throughout his book. I do not know anything about Magic: The Gathering but after his explanation of the game and how it compares to dating, I feel like I have a true understanding to what the game is about. Also, I officially know what an MMO is now. I always listen to Felicia Day’s song “(Do You Want to Date My) Avatar” and have never known what an MMO was but now I do. Thanks Eric!

Overall, Smith’s guide to dating is unique. It is very witty and quirky! He makes the book his own. When Smith provides information, he does not just list items and bullet points. His guide is told through a conversation. Smith lets the reader, who he refers to as Player 1, know what they should do when it comes to dating, provides examples that people can relate to, and even gives the audience commentary to events and examples. By doing so, the author makes dating relatable to everyone.

Furthermore, the book is very readable and very organized. The first part of the book is about learning about who you are before going on a date. People should act to their true colors and not act like someone their not. After telling people to be themselves, he provides some commentary on how to ask someone out, the do and don’ts of dating, making a first impression, how to “read” a first date, and how to defeat the final boss – aka defining the relationship!

I really enjoyed reading Smith’s book. If you are a “geek,” go out and buy it. You will enjoy Smith’s humor and will find his information on dating very beneficial. There is also something in the guide book for everyone – people who watch television, play videos games, and represent different fandoms (new and old). Like Smith said, “We’re eccentric, enthusiastic, intelligent, and occasionally awkward” (Smith 19). Smith is right; we are all a little awkward. So take your awkwardness out in the world and find your Player 2!

In closing, Smith’s guide is a must read! Due to how much I liked it, I will be purchasing my own official version of the book. So what are you waiting for? Get out there and read it!

[Alyanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This review is also posted at Carmel & Kyla.

*Copy provided by publisher in exchange of my honest review. This does not affect the rating or contents of my review.*

MY THOUGHTS:

I don't usually take time in reading non-fiction books but this is going to be an exception. Why? Simply because this book is amazing. This is the first non-fiction novel I've ever read and I can say that this is a great one. I'm very much looking forward to read other non-fiction titles.

“So, we both know why you’re here. You’re tired of living life in single player mode; you’re on a quest for a Player Two to call your own.”

This book is almost entirely aimed at guy 'geeks' who are trying to score a date/find their special someone. Hence, the title. However, I am a girl but I still found this book helpful when it comes to dating/to score a date. If you're going to ask me if I'm a geek -- I can't give you a straight answer because I'm not quite sure if I am a geek and I don't know what it takes to be a geek. The tips are understandable. I can relate to some certain situations in this book.

The (physical) book is really cute. See the photo below:



Eric Smith did a great job in creating this book. I giggled all the way until I finished reading the book. I did not finish this book as fast as I normally would (with fiction novels) but it's still worth reading. Overall, this book was really entertaining and cute. Highly recommended for geeks who are tired of living in single player mode.

"If you're lucky enough to have find that special someone, I hope she becomes the Hermione to your Ron, the Rogue to your Gambit, the Pepper Potts to your Tony Stark. I hope she takes you by the hand and leads you through a door, the Ramona Flowers to your Scott Pilgrim."

[Andrea · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received this as an ARC from the publisher (through a First Reads giveaway.) First, kudos to Quirk Books. I've received other ARCs before but their packet was a step above the rest.

Full disclosure: I, AmadeusJenkins, am a woman reviewing books under the name of my alter ego. Although I am not a man to whom this book is targeted, I feel quite confident in my geek-dom and approached this book eager to read about geek-dating from a male perspective.

The Geek's Guide to Dating is thorough and funny without ever being condescending or smarmy. There's a continual sense that Eric Smith is the ultimate wingman advising from experience and encouraging from the heart. Women are always presented as valuable and worth pursuing a relationship with. It's actually quite...cute?...charming?...all around awesome to know that guys care as much about dating and the dates themselves as women do.

A HUGE thank-you to Eric also for emphasizing a few times that relationships are not meant to be carried out online! Yes, you can meet someone online and you can show care and love online but the things that really matter in a relationship are best done in person or at least on the phone in a conversation. I'm kind of bummed that we still have to remind people not to take their relationship drama online, but am grateful that Eric acknowledges it's not right. Again, there's a sense that Eric really understands that relationships are a give-and-take and they require effort--but the rewards are great.

I didn't get all of the geek references but that didn't ruin this book in anyway. I still enjoyed the sections and how the content and formatting connect to gaming, technology, etc. All and all, a fun and enlightening read. Thank you, Eric Smith and Quirk Books!

[Sam · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was provided by the publisher for reviewing purposes.
 
Love is confusing enough for the well-adjusted. For geeks, it can be downright impossible. Enter The Geek's Guide to Dating.
 
I'll be completely honest with you: At first, I thought this book was fiction. I had assumed upon first glance that it was a YA book chronicling the misadventures of a geek in pursuit of a girl. I was definitely wrong, and I am delighted that I was. Filled cover-to-cover with geeky anecdotes and 8-bit illustrations galore, The Geek's Guide to Dating is a helpful companion in the world of dating that puts it all in plain English for the rest of us.
 
This book was rife with geeky pop culture references of all kinds that had me laughing along and nodding in agreement with what the author was saying. Most references were familiar to me, but those that were unfamiliar were explained (though not dumbed-down), and I appreciated that. As stated early on in the book, after all, there are many different kinds of geeks--and it's not just for guys, either. Though aimed at a male audience, the book addresses the female reader now and then, and most of the chapters in this book could/do apply to the fairer sex.
 
Overall Thoughts: This was a highly enjoyable read (whether you're single, married, or not even looking to date--honestly!) for geeks of all kinds. When it comes to dating, it's dangerous to go alone! Take this book!
 
Read more reviews at Celestial Carousel.

[Josh · Rating 4 out of 5]

A humorous look at the quirks of dating in a chic 8-bit, nerdtastic and geekdom-y sort of way.

Much like finance books and "new" sock-knitting books - there's nothing new, it's all marketing to attract a new crowd to part the covers and flip the pages.

*edit*
Now that I'm not writing on the phone, I can expand on a couple of points:

On our journey, we start out with 'classing' your character by identifying your personal geek-type so that you can figure out what strengths/weaknesses you can build on/work to improve.

A few hacks for dating profiles online, meeting through a game, places to meet geeks IRL and conversation starters.

How to properly plan a strategy for asking out a potential Player 2 (and being prepared for the off chance that she doesn't blast your ass out of the sky, so you don't stand there looking stupid by not having a plan of what to do with that Player 2).

What to wear? What to do? What to talk about? All answered with the discerning geek in mind! (Top tips: try new things, listen, don't be shy - using The 13th Warrior as a guide here.)

My favorite side bar of the book: a pre-date mix tape. Good suggestions including Mjolnir Mix (HALO w/ guitar god Steve Vai), Dragonborn and all of the Tron: Legacy soundtrack.

Eventually, we end up waist-deep in the harder stuff: pre-sex talking points/plans, casual dating vs. exclusive dating, moving in with someone and maintaining independence while in a relationship.

So, Player 1 - are you prepared to embark on the sickest RPG quest in the history of humanity? Suit up!

[Mimi Zane · Rating 5 out of 5]

**I received a copy from the author in exchange for an honest review**

1 Lucky winner will receive an autographed hardcover copy of The Geek's Guide to Dating by Eric Smith. Enter in the rafflecopter below.

Visit mandemread.blogspot.com to enter! Ends September 7, 2014.


I saw this title on Erin (BookNut)'s Quirk Book giveaway and I just knew I had to get my hands on a copy. I mean the cover is gorgeous! I love video games and briefly glancing at this, I'm picturing my all time favorite 8 bits including Burger Chef from the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES) and Super Mario Advanced 4 from the Super Mario Bros 3 Gameboy Color. I was extremely honored when I received an autographed copy from the publisher. And I am happy to say, this book does not disappoint.

The Geek's Guide to Dating by Eric Smith is exactly what it says...its a guide...made for geeks...on dating. Going into this I thought it was a work of fiction intended for geeks with witty banter and useful tips that could actually work in real world situations. But I was completely wrong. This is a quick 200 page book filled with "yes" and "no" tips on dating. Real world examples are explained with video game characters and scenarios. This isnt a work of fiction, its more of a self help guide intended toward males but insightful to females. I would love to see a female version of this. Turn it into a sequel and have it in a females perspective. But Overall, this book is great and I highly recommend to geek lovers all around.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

In The Geek’s Guide to Dating, Eric Smith teaches geek males the ins and outs of the art of dating. Using metaphors and sayings from various geek sources (movies, TV, comic books, and games), Smith takes geeks from meeting a partner through the first date and finally to the end. Each topic of dating is covered and put into geek terms so that the reader can understand and relate to the material.
I must start by saying that I am not the target audience of this book. Although I am a geek, I am married and a female. The book has a page dedicated to the geek girl explaining how this book really is meant to go towards men. I feel that this is a big misstep by Smith since there are many female geeks out there who are looking for relationships too.
Overall, I think that this book did accomplish its goal of presenting geeks with a relationship manual written in their own language. However, I think that there is such a thing as going to far. Smith uses a ton of inside references and at times it felt like he was just using them to use them. I also don’t know that many geek boys who would go into a bookstore or even go on Amazon to purchase a dating manual.

Read more of my thoughts at www.bourgette.com