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Meaty Balls
Meaty Balls is an insightful and equally hilarious collection of essays by Vincent Daniels which the Metro Times calls "a welcome and original addition to the humor genre" and "perfect for fans of Sedaris, Chelsea Handler, and Tucker Max." The nature of Daniels' observational and frank humor will be a hit with fans of Jim Gaffigan, Aziz Ansari, and Louis C.K.
Meaty Balls holds nothing back in its honest, charismatic, and laugh-out-loud funny discussions regarding life's awkward moments, glorious mishaps, and shameless victories. Daniels recounts drunken Latin barbecues with ex-in-laws, breakfast buffet fecal explosions, unintentional golf club assaults, court battles for stolen corn dogs, a comic book hoarding centenarian's birthday party, a funeral for a stripper's church-going brother, and a highway run-in with his doppelganger. In between such expositions, Meaty Balls tackles hearty topics such as Vincent's summary on the F-word, a commentary on nicknaming, a rant on attractive people, an explanation of prolonged laughter, a guide to office laziness, and instructions on how to properly utilize impersonations. Daniels finds humor in tender subjects, like the coveted snacks his father hoarded, his regrettable career ventures, his love of foods that cause diarrhea, and his penchant for being accosted by strangers. This collection of smiley-faced cynicism and downright funny storytelling is delivered in Daniels' unmistakable voice, undoubtedly one of the finest fresh voices in American humor.
Meaty Balls holds nothing back in its honest, charismatic, and laugh-out-loud funny discussions regarding life's awkward moments, glorious mishaps, and shameless victories. Daniels recounts drunken Latin barbecues with ex-in-laws, breakfast buffet fecal explosions, unintentional golf club assaults, court battles for stolen corn dogs, a comic book hoarding centenarian's birthday party, a funeral for a stripper's church-going brother, and a highway run-in with his doppelganger. In between such expositions, Meaty Balls tackles hearty topics such as Vincent's summary on the F-word, a commentary on nicknaming, a rant on attractive people, an explanation of prolonged laughter, a guide to office laziness, and instructions on how to properly utilize impersonations. Daniels finds humor in tender subjects, like the coveted snacks his father hoarded, his regrettable career ventures, his love of foods that cause diarrhea, and his penchant for being accosted by strangers. This collection of smiley-faced cynicism and downright funny storytelling is delivered in Daniels' unmistakable voice, undoubtedly one of the finest fresh voices in American humor.
- GenresHumorNonfiction
291 pages, Paperback
First published November 8, 2012
55 people are currently reading
40 people want to read
About the author
Vincent Daniels
8 books4 followersHi, I'm Vincent Daniels, author of Meaty Balls - a collection of essays, expositions, and insightfully elegant potty humor (which I heard you like). It's got like a million chapters (thirty, actually). I also released a new book titled Holly Jolly Nothing. It's a memoir recounting absurdities from my religiously-stymied childhood along with other awesome coming-of-age stuff. If you have any semblance of a heart, I think you'll dig it. Even some of you heartless A-holes will get a kick out of it too.
If you're asking, "What makes you so special that you get to write hilarious books that I'll love forever?" Here's why: I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness and was out preaching to strangers about Satan's hooves as a ten-year-old. I wasn't allowed to celebrate birthdays or holidays but went to a public school where that stuff made up half the curriculum. Plus all the wonky beliefs and cult conventions are funny, in retrospect. Also, I'm half-Asian, which isn't intrinsically funny in itself, but being the only foreign-looking kid in an all-white, hillbilly suburb is funny, also in retrospect. Additionally, I was married into a Puerto Rican family and gained two hundred spicy in-laws who swear enough to make Martin Scorsese blush.
In addition to those balls-out hilarious things about me, I now live in Detroit, which has a large black population and a lot of crime. I'm not insinuating the two are related, I'm simply stating those things because that's what people usually think of when they think of Detroit. Though both are true, I've never been mugged or murdered by anyone black (or any race). Okay, this is coming out all wrong. One of my best friends is actually black. I'm tempted to rewrite this paragraph because it sounds suspicious, but I told myself I'd write this once and not edit it. This is getting wordy, so I'm going to list the other reasons I'm capable of writing a funny book without as much explanation:
5. Starting with "5" because technically there are four "Reasons I'm Funny" written above. I'm going to start a new "5" because this one got ruined by this explanation.
Real 5. After being married to the Puerto Ricans, I got divorced...and divorce is hilarious! (After you've moved on, lost weight, and bought a bigger TV.)
6. I'm an auto-industry stooge who gets paid to design auto parts while writing essays in a word processor minimized in the bottom corner of my screen. Don't tell my boss. (That includes you, PC-monitoring IT guy.)
7. I go to dive bars and drink a lot. I look foreign. I'm divorced. I have a black friend. We have sweet hip-hop dance moves. Antics ensue.
8. I'm a part-time musician who plays guitar, writes mushy love songs, and says, "Yeah, I've sold a bunch of MP3s," even though I've only sold ten over the past five years and only made enough money to buy a combo meal at Taco Bell.
9. I have a gigantic collection of rocks & fossils, comic books, '80s toys, movie memorabilia, weapons (non-functioning replicas), old-school video games, dinosaur books, hockey jerseys, lawn equipment, and button-up shirts that I never wear. The point being, I'm an expert on everything and exceptionally geeky in a sexy and sophisticated way that'll make you feel pretty cool.
So my advice is this: Nab a copy of Holly Jolly Nothing and/or Meaty Balls like the good-for-nothing nabber that you are, and live the remainder of your life, or at least a few measly days, in a cozy, orgasmic reading bliss. Let's cuddle after!
If you're asking, "What makes you so special that you get to write hilarious books that I'll love forever?" Here's why: I was raised as a Jehovah's Witness and was out preaching to strangers about Satan's hooves as a ten-year-old. I wasn't allowed to celebrate birthdays or holidays but went to a public school where that stuff made up half the curriculum. Plus all the wonky beliefs and cult conventions are funny, in retrospect. Also, I'm half-Asian, which isn't intrinsically funny in itself, but being the only foreign-looking kid in an all-white, hillbilly suburb is funny, also in retrospect. Additionally, I was married into a Puerto Rican family and gained two hundred spicy in-laws who swear enough to make Martin Scorsese blush.
In addition to those balls-out hilarious things about me, I now live in Detroit, which has a large black population and a lot of crime. I'm not insinuating the two are related, I'm simply stating those things because that's what people usually think of when they think of Detroit. Though both are true, I've never been mugged or murdered by anyone black (or any race). Okay, this is coming out all wrong. One of my best friends is actually black. I'm tempted to rewrite this paragraph because it sounds suspicious, but I told myself I'd write this once and not edit it. This is getting wordy, so I'm going to list the other reasons I'm capable of writing a funny book without as much explanation:
5. Starting with "5" because technically there are four "Reasons I'm Funny" written above. I'm going to start a new "5" because this one got ruined by this explanation.
Real 5. After being married to the Puerto Ricans, I got divorced...and divorce is hilarious! (After you've moved on, lost weight, and bought a bigger TV.)
6. I'm an auto-industry stooge who gets paid to design auto parts while writing essays in a word processor minimized in the bottom corner of my screen. Don't tell my boss. (That includes you, PC-monitoring IT guy.)
7. I go to dive bars and drink a lot. I look foreign. I'm divorced. I have a black friend. We have sweet hip-hop dance moves. Antics ensue.
8. I'm a part-time musician who plays guitar, writes mushy love songs, and says, "Yeah, I've sold a bunch of MP3s," even though I've only sold ten over the past five years and only made enough money to buy a combo meal at Taco Bell.
9. I have a gigantic collection of rocks & fossils, comic books, '80s toys, movie memorabilia, weapons (non-functioning replicas), old-school video games, dinosaur books, hockey jerseys, lawn equipment, and button-up shirts that I never wear. The point being, I'm an expert on everything and exceptionally geeky in a sexy and sophisticated way that'll make you feel pretty cool.
So my advice is this: Nab a copy of Holly Jolly Nothing and/or Meaty Balls like the good-for-nothing nabber that you are, and live the remainder of your life, or at least a few measly days, in a cozy, orgasmic reading bliss. Let's cuddle after!
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
March 12, 2017
I started reading Meaty Balls on my honeymoon as we were on a quick flight from Innsbruck to Vienna. I was hysterically crying, with tears running down my face, and my husband looked at me with what I call, his "worried eyebrows."After the first chapter I was hooked but I thought, can I publicly endorse this book with a review or will I be chastised for enjoying writing that, undoubtedly, throws any notion of being PC out the window? Vincent Daniels emailed me after leaving five stars on his book (with no additional review) and although I know the only personalization in his message was adding my name, I didn't care. (So cool!) I have already started on Vincent's second book Holly Jolly Nothing and it doesn't disappoint. Our last honeymoon stop was Paris and when the days got cold and my legs tired, I couldn't wait to snuggle with my husband in our Airbnb and gobble up more of Vincent's writing.
March 31, 2013
Irreverent, charmingly offensive and awesome!
First off, let me start with the maybe not so obvious. This is not a cook book. I searched the title and found this book plus a bunch of pasta and Italian food cookbooks.
Now that that's out of the way, I can tell you what I liked about this book. The short answer: absolutely everything!
Meaty Balls is an NC-17 compilation of personal observations, real life stories and hilarious musings about day to day life, religion, drinking, social faux pas, and embarrassing moments. Each chapter reveals a little more about the author and his unique outlook on life, all in a fast paced and witty package. I'm a huge fan of Dave Barry, and Vincent Daniels was right to compare himself to him.
I especially loved Pedro's grad party, the dirtiest look ever, and the acceptance of the janitor's award. I laughed at the absurdities, groaned at the awkward moments, empathized with the hero and related to those things I recognize in my own life.
It's not often I fully agree with a books description, especially one with such wild claims as this one, but in this case I do. If you like non-fiction humor based on real-life experience, don't mind a few f-bombs (there's a whole chapter on them by the way), and don't mind being offended in a fun way, then this is the book for you.
I'm definitely going to read this again and I hope to see more from this author again.
First off, let me start with the maybe not so obvious. This is not a cook book. I searched the title and found this book plus a bunch of pasta and Italian food cookbooks.
Now that that's out of the way, I can tell you what I liked about this book. The short answer: absolutely everything!
Meaty Balls is an NC-17 compilation of personal observations, real life stories and hilarious musings about day to day life, religion, drinking, social faux pas, and embarrassing moments. Each chapter reveals a little more about the author and his unique outlook on life, all in a fast paced and witty package. I'm a huge fan of Dave Barry, and Vincent Daniels was right to compare himself to him.
I especially loved Pedro's grad party, the dirtiest look ever, and the acceptance of the janitor's award. I laughed at the absurdities, groaned at the awkward moments, empathized with the hero and related to those things I recognize in my own life.
It's not often I fully agree with a books description, especially one with such wild claims as this one, but in this case I do. If you like non-fiction humor based on real-life experience, don't mind a few f-bombs (there's a whole chapter on them by the way), and don't mind being offended in a fun way, then this is the book for you.
I'm definitely going to read this again and I hope to see more from this author again.
February 17, 2017
A funny collection of essays. Probably would have been 5 star worthy with fewer scenes of vomiting, and if the obsession with poo was dialed back.
Was more than vaguely amusing. Had some moments of laughing and giggling.
Was more than vaguely amusing. Had some moments of laughing and giggling.
November 28, 2013
Don't waste your time.
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews