This book has the distinct aroma of an author's first work. It is unrefined, amateurish, and technically sloppy. This book is one which could have used at least another year or two development, several more drafts, and the services of a much better editor, though I have doubts one was used at all.
The plot runs somewhat smoothly for the most part, provided the reader only looks at the bigger picture and can keep up with the rapid changes in perspective. Where this book falls apart is in the detail: sentences left half-done, paragraphs started but never finished, ideas added and never used again, and distinct failures in logic that left me wondering what the hel (not a typo) was supposed to be happening, all being told to me, and never shown. It is condescending, and left me feeling as though Williams viewed me - the reader - as intellectually impaired, or a child who had to be led by the hand through the book because I couldn't possibly fathom the deeper complexities of his work.
The perfect example for this is Chapter Fifteen. In this chapter the main villain, Mr. Simon, is interrogating/torturing the son of one of those who found a set of the Chronicles. The first page is as follows, and I quote:
"The old dungeon under Chateau Dugan had changed little since the Dark Ages. Its stone walls and iron doors were an intimidating sight for even the bravest souls. Eight rooms surrounded a large common area, where a reputedly bottomless well had emitted a foul odor for as long as anyone could remember. The only modern convenience in the dungeon was electricity. In keeping with the dungeon's original purpose, it had been installed to facilitate punishment.
Macliv had been plying his craft in one of the rooms for many hours now. "You really should tell Mr. Simon what he wants to know," he advised the badly bruised man who sat naked, chained to a metal chair. On the walls surrounding hi were the futile etchings of past visitors.
As it was very hot in the dungeon, Macliv had removed his shirt, revealing a full tribal tattoo that ran from his upper neck all the way down the right side of his torso and his right arm, ending at his wrist.
Buckets of salt water sat ready to wash the blood off the prisoner's body." (T. R. Williams, 2014, Journey into the Flame, Simon & Schuster, Inc., New York, page 115).
So, lets break this down, shall we?
"The old dungeon under Chateau Dugan had changed little since the Dark Ages." Okay, this is a good opening sentence. It opens the reader up to a potentially suspenseful paragraph. No problems, here.
"It's stone walls and iron doors were an intimidating sight for even the bravest souls." Why? They are just stone walls and iron doors. They are everywhere in old buildings, especially in Europe. In and of themselves, there is no reason for them to be intimidating. As demonstrated above, this is never developed upon. Bar this sentence, and the last sentence in the next paragraph, the walls are not mentioned again.
"Eight rooms surrounded a large common area, where a reputedly bottomless well had emitted a foul odor for as long as anyone could remember." Technically fine. The problem lies in the plot. Later in this chapter the victim of interrogation reveals the Chronicles are likely hidden in a pond in the backyard of his family home. By this time the reader has completely forgotten about this first well, so when Mr. Simon tells Macliv to dump his victim's body in the well, I was left thinking he meant the pond in India, not the well in the middle of the dungeon.
"The only modern convenience in the dungeon was electricity. In keeping with the dungeon's original purpose, it had been installed to facilitate punishment." No shit, Sherlock. The second sentence is redundant to the point of being insulting. Of course they're going to use electricity to torture someone! We have seen that in movies, read that in books, or heard about it in news reports since electricity was invented. By this point in this chapter I already wanted to get up, find the author, and backhand him with a book on creative writing. That feeling never went away.
'Macliv had been plying his craft in one of the rooms for many hours now. "You really should tell Mr. Simon what he wants to know," he advised the badly bruised man who sat naked, chained to a metal chair.' The second sentence is clumsy, stumbling over the author's ideas. It's clear he wants to portray Macliv as a terrifying figure, but he only succeeds in portraying him as a caricature, and draws focus away from him to the victim. Furthermore, this is about as much description of his victim's physical condition as we get: "badly bruised." Someone can get badly bruised falling down the stairs, and it doesn't take hours for that to happen. If he had in fact been tortured for hours, his physical condition would require immediate, long term hospitalisation. This would require an entire paragraph dedicated to this individuals condition. If he had, it would have made us care about the man's plight; and, it would have succeeded in portraying Macliv in a much darker light.
"On the walls surrounding him were the futile etchings of past visitors." And we are back to the walls. This sentence should have been in the first paragraph along with the rest of the setting descriptions, not in the paragraph describing a character.
"As it was very hot in the dungeon, Macliv had removed his shirt, revealing a full tribal tattoo that ran from his upper neck all the way down the right side of his torso and his right arm, ending at his wrist." A very poor, lazy attempt at character development, again resulting in Macliv being a caricature, as if extensive tribal tattoos automatically make someone a villain. Also, why is he shirtless? It's very hot in the desert but you don't take your shirt off. There is no point to it. It is clear Williams only wrote this to show off Macliv's tattoos, again, because tattoos obviously make you a villain.
"Buckets of salt water sat ready to wash the blood off the prisoner's body." That's it. That's the entire paragraphs: one short, irrelevant sentence that should have been deleted. I don't even remember the water ever being used in this chapter, that's how irrelevant it is. At this point, after two one-sentence paragraphs, I also wanted to backhand Williams with a book on writing technique.
Fortunately, that is the end of the page; but, it doesn't stop there. In the middle of the chapter there is a mind-boggling stupid moment where Mr. Simon injects his victim with a truth serum, but it's not the truth serum we all know about. No, it is one which Mr. Simon inject through the forehead - through the man's bloody skull, and directly into his brain. His description about how it works is equally as ridiculous: "[...]Did you know that your brain works harder when you lie than when you tell the truth? It's a fact. people lie because they fear telling the truth. They believe that they will get punished or that they will hurt someone else by their admission. Our doctor has created a serum that deadens the amygdala region of the brain, thus eliminating fear. When a person is no longer afraid, he no longer needs to lie." "It's like a truth serum," Macliv said" (Page 117). I have no idea how truth serum works; I must be honest about that. Eliminating fear is a stupendously bad idea. In the next paragraph Mr. Simon describes how governments want it because they could create fearless soldiers; but, fear is our greatest survival instinct. Someone without fear is reckless to the point of stupidity: just watch those Jackass movies. A soldier who isn't afraid doesn't care about his own survival. A soldier who is afraid is careful, likely to think things through before acting upon them.
That's not the end of this logic flop. This serum Mr. Simon injects his victim with kills his victim within two minutes. That's all the time he has to get all the information he needs. Predictably, he doesn't get it all. He gets relatively little, in fact; but, he is irrationally okay with it. He has next to no information beyond a tortured man's recollection of one of his mother's letters and a vague reference to a garden to use to retrieve the last set of the Chronicles, but all he does is casually remark to dump the body in the well, and for Macliv to come with him to India (remembering that by this time I had completely forgotten about the existence of the first well, and only remembered it when I went to write this review).
Now, I have to wonder why, if Mr. Simon is so relaxed about how little information he retrieved, why he had the victim kidnapped at all. This is a man who has enough connections to break into the Cairo Museum. One would think he would simply hire a thief to break into the family home while the family was on holiday. Granted, they wouldn't look in the pond, but it is a much easier, more logical first step. Furthermore, why didn't he just use regular truth serum? It doesn't murder his victim, and he would have been able to retrieve much more information from him. His use of this drunk is less "super villain who doesn't care about his victims," and more "incompetent, childish bully."
This chapter lacks suspense. The whole book lacks suspense. The problems listed above are nothing if not consistent. Journey into the Flame is full of logic inconsistencies, one-dimensional character caricatures, and outrageously stupid decisions which make me wonder how the characters ever lived until this point. Williams didn't make me suspend my disbelief, nor make me care about anyone nor anything happening in the book. It is so poorly written editing it in this state would take weeks for just one pass. It's is so poorly written I wonder why it was published at all. If it wasn't for the fact I hate to leave a book half-finished I never would have finished it; and it makes me really glad I don't edit anymore.
One star for what effort went into it, but even that is reluctantly given. Nothing about this book makes me think Williams cared for it, so I don't either.