Difficulties with Girls

Patrick Standish and Jenny Bunn #2

by Kingsley Amis

Over 25 years ago, Kingsley Amis wrote TAKE A GIRL LIKE YOU, a comedy about a lusty young couple, Patrick and Jenny, each engaged with equal ardor in gaining an opposite goal -- he with getting her into bed, she with staying out of it. They both win.

In DIFFICULTIES WITH GIRLS, Jenny and Patrick are back with us. They're older, though not much wiser -- Jenny, devoted but aggrieved; Patrick, boozing and unfaithful. Each lives in a fantasyland projecting life through lenses not calibrated in this world.

"To have said so much about the human condition with such wit and humor is an extraordinary achievement ...even for Kingsley Amis." (The Sunday Telegraph, London)

Genres: Fiction, Humor, Novels, Classics, Literary Fiction, British Literature, Modern Classics

288 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1988

About the author

Best known novels of British writer Sir Kingsley William Amis include Lucky Jim (1954) and The Old Devils (1986).

This English poet, critic, and teacher composed more than twenty-three collections, short stories, radio and television scripts, and books of social and literary criticism. He fathered Martin Amis.

William Robert Amis, a clerk of a mustard manufacturer, fathered him. He began his education at the city of London school, and went up to college of Saint John, Oxford, in April 1941 to read English; he met Philip Larkin and formed the most important friendship of his life. After only a year, the Army called him for service in July 1942. After serving as a lieutenant in the royal corps of signals in the Second World War, Amis returned to Oxford in October 1945 to complete his degree. He worked hard and got a first in English in 1947, and then decided to devote much of his time.

Pen names: [authorRobert Markham|553548] and William Bill Tanner

Reviews

[Baba · Rating 2 out of 5]

A 'normal' conforming couple, believe that they have nailed adulthood; then they meet their seductive non-conformist neighbours who have tastes for booze, a sexually confused friend, and the Hampstead literary set! An OK romantic/slightly dark comedy taking a look at, and at times satirising, the (errors of?) entangling the relationships between neighbours, work colleagues and their peers, with an overview of the human condition! Seriously! 5 out of 12, Three Stars. I was bit surprised that this edition was from 1989 as the cover looks like it's from the 1970s.

2008 read

[Paul · Rating 4 out of 5]

'Difficulties With Girls' revisits Jenny (née Bunn) and Patrick Standish eight years after the conclusion of 'Take a Girl Like You' (it was written almost thirty years later) and for the first half of the book I had written it off as an entirely pointless sequel written by an author who seemed to have lost most of his wit.

In the second half, however, the scales fell from my eyes as I started to put together the actual message of the book, rather than the various horrific messages the characters were spouting.

Amis gets a lot of stick for being misogynist, racist and homophobic, and I'm not even going to attempt to determine how much of that was actually true as, quite frankly, I don't have nearly enough evidence one way or the other, but it would be a mistake to make the assumption that the characters in his books are voicing his own views. They put forward many completely conflicting viewpoints for a start, so it's hard to identify which side of the argument the author actually supports.

The message of the book, when boiled down to brass tacks, seems (to me, anyway; YMMV) not to be an attack on any one section of society but a despairing sigh over the mess society is in as a whole... and it's difficult to argue with that, wherever you happen to sit on the political spectrum. What Amis is saying, to my ears, is that, wherever one may be on the sexual/gender scale, we're all human and that means we're all deeply flawed and the world we inhabit reflects that.

Is it possible the liberal side of me is making excuses for an author whose work I enjoy? Ah, it's possible, I suppose; I too am only human. Whatever you might think of its message, though, it's undeniable that this book is exceptionally well-written and that there's more going on in here than is immediately obvious.

[Sa · Rating 1 out of 5]

"I think that trip's going to be what we call a notional benefit, something they tell you when you start off you might get and then phase out before it happens."

Kingsley Amis explains the misleading praise on the back of the book.

This was a book I chose purely by title: it sounded comedic and vapid, much like most movies starring Meg Ryan/Jennifer Aniston, and I wanted something similarly simple, mindless, and happily-ever-after. A quote from the back says the book is about a man falling in love with his wife. Because of that, I put it in a romance bookshelf, but the book has little romance: It really more like a man grudgingly settling.

The main character Patrick Standish is unrelatable and unlikable. The plot focuses on his uncontrollable selfishness via various liaisons with married women. When not in a clinch or drowning his self-made difficulties in alcohol, he speaks of his colleagues and friends contemptuously, save for a few which he mocks but mostly tolerates. At one point, he proposes to equalize his marriage/guilt by setting his neglected wife, Jenny, up with an extramarital affair. Throughout the book, one hopes for his redemption, but in the end all transgressions are merely forgiven with a conveniently-timed conception by his wife.

Jenny as a main female character in a time where feminism was in its second wave does the movement no favors. She opts for a part-time job in order to have more time to play house and please her husband. Her main concerns are dealing with Patrick's infidelities/idiocy, and coping with her potential infertility. I hold nothing against a woman who feels sorrow at not being able to have a child, but it is hard to fathom a woman who wants to raise a family with a whiny, distracted boor. Still, the miracle marriage-saving pregnancy speaks more of the author's lack of planning, or lack of comprehension of relationships, more than the character's moral fiber.

Near the end, she finally gives Patrick an ultimatum, but it is quickly forgotten in the explosive climax of a sub-plot, and afterwards the aforementioned pregnancy is discovered and hope is only temporarily renewed: "She was going to have him all to herself for at least three years, probably more like five, and a part of him for ever, and now she could put it all out of her mind." This is quite possibly the most sickening, disappointing final line of a book I have ever read.

The supporting cast of the book is colorful and initially endearing, but overall stupidity and lack of foresight makes them all fascinating in the way of a particularly gruesome car accident: Patrick's boss is miserly and offers his bored wife to any who will take her; a new neighbor leaves his wife in order to "try" homosexuality; more neighbors (also homosexual) spar dramatically and incessantly; even more neighbors are concerned with appearing well-off and worldly. It is as if Amis drew stereotypes and cliches out of a hat to make ultimate trash.

After finishing the book, I learned it was the followup to Take A Girl Like You. The younger Jenny and Patrick struggle over her desire to maintain her virginity, until he finally takes advantage of her while she is drunk. She leaves him, but she obviously forgives him as they reunite and marry. To know that he relentlessly pursued her, but then eventually grew bored is depressing. Reality is often tragic and confusing, but these two are just plain thick. There is no lesson or moral to be learned by their story, save that trust is immaterial. It’s a shame, as I really did enjoy the writing style: dialogue-driven and matter-of-fact.

In short: the book is set in the sixties (though written in the eighties), and tries to give off a socially progressive and tolerant tone, but the author's own stunted knowledge and simplistic interpretation of homosexuality and the female mind make this book invariably dated and offensive. I won't be sad to dump it through the library drop-slot.

[Ray · Rating 2 out of 5]

Dated exploration of a marriage in affluent 60s London. He has affairs, she is thinking about it. The gay couple next door are combustible and a new neighbour is not sure what he wants - rice or chips.

Not really for me.

[mkfs · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's a Kingsley Amis alright.

There's not really much to say about this one. The witty repartee is, the brutal asides are, and the air of misanthropy lingers long after, as in an elevator. The characters: real, pathetic, almost despisable. A few early caricatures turn out to be (surprisingly) fully-fleshed.

Amis tends to write most of his comic asides from the viewpoint of his main character/surrogate, in this case the of-course-drunk-but-not-as-bad-as-his-neighbors-or-colleagues Patrick. As usual, Amis allows for this character's general ignorance or short-sightedness and things turn out somewhat differently than telegraphed early on.

Expect serious alcoholism, a complexity to more characters than you'd expect, some overlong hand-wringing over cheating or thinking of cheating or even just getting it off and who with, and of course the good ol' K-A wit.


A couple of samples, for those who have read no Kingsley Amis:

"Now while I remember, you're to remember, if by any chance you do get offered a drink up there, grab it whether you want it or not. I'll find a use for it, I promise you." - to his wife, on the way to a party thrown by his employer

"He felt content, or more accurately, a good deal further from either vexation or panic than usual."

And one last one, on choice of drink:

"According to Jenny's father, whisky and water meant a whisky-drinker, but gin and water meant a serious drinker. Drunk for a penny, dead drunk for a tuppence."

Ah, gin, much-maligned back in the days when it didn't cost - what is it now, seven dollars? - a bottle.

[Jim · Rating 4 out of 5]

When last I saw the characters Patrick Standish and Jenny Bunn, they were just starting their relationship in Kingsley Amis’s Take a Girl Like You.

Now, years later, they are stilled married, but childless due to Jenny’s miscarriage. They’ve moved to a maisonette at 1 Lower Ground in London. Jenny is still the same sweetheart; and Patrick, the same opportunistic whoreson. Jenny knows this and sorrowfully reproves his husband for his erring ways. Being in the book publishing business, Patrick goes to an inordinate number of parties where opportunities for excessive drinking and sexual provender abound.

Many of his problems are no farther than a few feet from his front door. His new neighbor Tim Valentine is a clueless young man who is mildly confused about his own sexuality and seems to pop in at least once a day. Next door are Eric and Stevie, a gay couple who are incessantly fighting each other. Also nearby is Wendy Porter-King, with whom Patrick has a brief but intense fling.

I have always enjoyed Amis’s novels, even when they are not the best. I preferred Take a Girl Like You, but Difficulties with Girls is not at all bad. By now I have read almost half of his novels and will probably read more in the coming year.

[Margaret Vincent · Rating 4 out of 5]

not an easy read, but truly compelling dialogue.

[Realini Ionescu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Difficulties with Girls, by Kingsley Amis
10 out of 10


Kingsley Amis is a genius, his books are a delight, he is among my top favorite writers and has rightly been considered the best comedy author of at least the last half of the last century.

Difficulties with Girls has the same sophisticated, amusing, insightful, satirical, penetrating style that we can admire in

Lucky Jim, Girl, 20, Ending Up - all reviewed at realini.blogspot.ro.

The main characters here are Jenny and her husband Patrick Standish.
Although the man is definitely genial, intelligent, creative and male readers would surely identity with him on many levels, Jenny is the real Wonder Woman.

She has to - well, not really, she does not have to - put up with a spouse that is a serial philanderer and furthermore acts like a fool, as she says.
Even when driving their Mini car - and on multiple other occasions - there are incidents when it is so evident that the man cannot abstain from assessing, desiring the ample or less prominent chest of women and alas, often go to bed with them.

The hero works in a printing house, where Simon Giles is his boss - at least for a good while - and the man interested in more than a business relationship as becomes clear at one stage in the narrative.
He does not want to become intimate with his employee - a man he had hired after just a couple of hours and who used to be a teacher of Latin - but thinks coital closeness between Patrick and his wife would bring peace to his home.

This is not the only ménage a trois explored in the story, albeit let us not disclose if and what happens in these planned threesome or Devils' triangles in the language of the now Supreme Court Judge who was such a ridiculous, loathsome character in his youth and during hearings...Kavanaugh.
The philanderer of the novel is also a very heavy drinker, he had accepted his new position after consuming so much alcohol as to doubt what happened after the fact.

Timothy Valentine enters the frame - a character that pretends this is his name, although we would learn that it is just an alias.
Tim has had Difficulties with Girls...he is actually the first one to mention the phrase.

He has abandoned his wife and seems to be affected by the Coolidge Effect - this was an American president who joked about the rooster and the hens during a visit to a farm.
Nevertheless the analyst that is supposed to be treating him - who should be shot or at least jailed in the view of the Standishes - purports that the Difficulties are a result of homosexuality.

Tim becomes a regular visitor and a friend of the heroes, actually moving into an apartment nearby and then meeting at one point first Stevie and then Eric.
Stevie and Eric are two gay men who live together in the apartment next to the Standish family, from where frequent noises are heard.

Eric refers to his partner as "she" attributing to "her" female traits, shortcomings, exaggerated emotions, melodrama, multiple scenes of jealousy.
Indeed, when Tim first enters the apartment of the couple, where Eric's boss was visiting with his wife, a pathetic scene ensues.

The drama, conflicts between the two flamboyant gay men reach a climax when a stabbing takes place.
Meanwhile, Jenny receives a visit from Tim's sister, another heavy drinker, who explains the real situation of her brother, the abandoned wife, his job as a lawyer and other details.

Patrick sleeps with the wife of another neighbor, Harold, and when he tells his wife the truth, she is more infuriated by that than by the mere knowledge and a silence over the matter.
Before this gratuitous and offensive confession, Jenny had understood that her spouse has slept or is about to with this woman.

Difficulties with Girls is a complex, glorious, fabulous chef d'oeuvre.

[Andrew Wardle · Rating 1 out of 5]

I've read several novels by both Kingsley and Martin Amis, and for the most part found them enjoyable, though sometimes in a now-wash-your-hands kind of way. But this one is an absolute clunker.
To the faint sound of a barrel being scraped, Kingsley Amis reprises characters Patrick Standish and Jenny Bunn from his earlier novel "Take A Girl Like You". Patrick and Jenny are now married. Patrick has left teaching after an uncomfortable episode involving the daughter of his school's headmaster and now works in publishing. Jenny works part-time teaching hospitalised children. They have recently moved in to a modern flat complex in London. Patrick still has a roving eye, and Jenny suspects him of sundry actual and intended infidelities.
So - we're neatly set up, and early on we get a few nice comic asides and bits of sardonic internal monologue. But then.......nothing at all happens - up to half-way anyway, when I abandoned this book. New neighbours move into the flats on either side of theirs, both sets being weird in a not-quite-credible way. The novel then descends into a series of unbelievable conversations between unconvincing (male) characters. Apart from Jenny, who speaks to supply cues for Patrick to expound his views on the world, no female character in this book up to page 100 appears to have a speaking part. The men sit up into the night drinking whisky and confiding in one another about their sexual and relationship difficulties. Really ??? I know this novel is set in the 1960s, but these are thirtysomething middle-class Englishmen who have only just met. Unless Chapter 10 reports Hell freezing over, no way. And the only properly-drawn character is Patrick, largely because we already know him from "Take A Girl.......". The others are all lazy caricatures with stuck-on neuroses and "funny" verbal and physical tics.
The novel reads as if Amis was attempting something like John Updike's "Rabbit" series, where an era of social change is seen through the eyes of some flawed people struggling to adapt. But whereas in Updike you are clear that "Rabbit" Angstrom is a damaged, barely-functioning human being, you get the sneaking suspicion that Amis actually quite likes former date-rapist turned middle-aged lecher Patrick Standish. Certainly no other character, even Jenny, is three-dimensional or given any (good) lines or convincing motivation. So. Now wash your hands and go and find a better book.

[Scott McIntyre · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have a reasonably large personal pantheon of favourite authors, but old Kingers is Zeus among them all. I have read each of his novels more than once, and some I have read 10 times or more. The one novel that I have read and loved more than all the rest is Take A Girl Like You, which is (to use the parlance of our times) the prequel to this little number. TAGLY is a ripper, a real 6 stars out of 5 job. This follow up is, in my view, less successful, though better than the average output of almost all other novelists.

If I may dare say so, I think the problem is mostly stylistic. Anyone familiar with Amis will be familiar with his unique prose style. When he is in top form, it is a thing of beauty, rendering wonderful felicities in every sentence. Just occasionally, though, Amis seems to be in service to his style, rather than the other way around. This book is one of those times. The innermost thoughts of (particularly) Jenny and Patrick are rendered at such length, with so many clauses, sub-clauses, qualifications and parentheses, that the writing has a claustrophobic, airless feeling to it. Going back now and reading TAGLY again now, the writing seems to flow more. There’s more space in it. It is looser. Less trussed-up.

A couple of other quibbles - the action of the story (correct me if I am wrong) is supposed to take place in the late 60s, but it didn’t really feel rooted in that period. Graham from TAGLY makes an appearance, but it feels like he is shoe-horned in as a rhetorical device to make a particular point about human relations, rather than as an organic part of the story.

Nevertheless, by the standards of novels generally, DWG is very good. Don’t get me wrong. It just isn’t quite peak Amis. Warning: if you are the kind of person who can’t wrap your head around the idea that people in the past had different ideas about various social issues than we have now, or if you are the kind of literal-minded dullard who equates the expression of particular ideas by fictional characters with approval by their author, don’t read this book. Your head will explode.

[Ostap Bender · Rating 1 out of 5]

What an awful book this is. The cynicism that pervades it is unlikeable enough on its own, but into his dark cocktail Amis mixes in homophobia, anti-Semitism, and anti-immigrant sentiment. He routinely refers to members of these minorities as “one of them” and then smugly trots out lame stereotypes in the guise of seeming worldly. At best, you could use the word “dated”, and as there are very few real moments of humor here, it makes for a very unenjoyable read. I did find it ironic that in one of the laments that there were “no good areas left” in the city because of immigration, a character says that “an awful lot of people would go along with me; deplorable if you like, but there it is.” How ironic to see the adjective “deplorable” used, and indeed.

[Stephanie · Rating 1 out of 5]

This novel has not aged well. I do not recognize the female characters and the portrayal of the gay community is offensive. I enjoyed Lucky Jim from this same author but I had a hard time getting through this one. If I wasn't in the middle of a pandemic lockdown running out of books to read I probably would've abandoned this. The reviews promised poignancy by the final chapter. Do not believe them.

[Lucas · Rating 5 out of 5]

There's a reason Kingsley Amis has earned a spot on the mantle of Britain's finest post-war comic novelists, and "Difficulties With Girls" is one of the gleaming exhibits. With his signature style that is as raucously funny as it is incisively biting, Amis delivered yet another 5-star classic that once again had me chortling and contemplating in equal measure.

In this spirited sequel to "Take a Girl Like You", we are reunited with Patrick Standish and his wife, Jenny. This time around, they're navigating the murky waters of marriage in 1960s London. Patrick, charming but incorrigibly unfaithful, and Jenny, patient but no pushover, make for an engrossing and surprisingly relatable pair.

Amis is a master of characterisation. Patrick, with his unending woes and misadventures, is as exasperating as he is endearing. Jenny, in contrast, is the picture of level-headed tolerance, her own struggles rendered with a quiet poignancy that's both touching and believable. The surrounding characters - a motley crew of eccentric neighbours and meddling friends - bring additional colour and comedy to the narrative, each meticulously crafted with Amis's characteristic wit and perceptiveness.

What really won me over, though, is the novel's unflinching look at marriage - the good, the bad, and the downright messy. There's a depth and honesty in the depiction of Patrick and Jenny's relationship that lends the story its emotional weight. Even as we laugh at their misfortunes and missteps, we are invited to ponder on the complexities of commitment and the difficult art of coexistence.

Amis's prose is, as ever, a delight to read. Brimming with comedic wit, sharp dialogue, and insightful commentary, his writing style is the perfect vessel for the narrative. Whether it's a hilariously disastrous dinner party or a quietly heartbreaking marital tiff, every scene is crafted with precision and an undeniable sense of authenticity.

"Difficulties With Girls" is a sparkling gem in Amis's distinguished repertoire. It's a novel that expertly balances humour with heartfelt emotion, frivolity with profundity. For its sharp characterisation, brilliant prose, and insightful depiction of marriage, I wholeheartedly award it 5 stars.

[Jeremy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I kept waiting for something to happen or for the story to improve or go somewhere ... but it never did! A pleasant but forgettable read. Was swinging London in the 60s ever really like that? And the attitudes expressed towards gay men has not dated well, not well at all

[Stephen Bywater · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meandering

[Deborah Wickham · Rating 1 out of 5]

Nasty little book full of sexist and homophobic tropes.
It says a lot that the only character I gave a shit about was the cat that went missing. I don't even like cats.

[Janice Mallison · Rating 4 out of 5]

I often wished that Jenny would leave Patrick while reading this but realized that was missing the whole point of this very English and very odd story of an ordinary couple in London in the 60s.

[Ciaran · Rating 3 out of 5]

Satire of Londoners that, with its mordant humour and comic timing, is just as relevant to today as to its 1960s setting.

[Graham Parker · Rating 2 out of 5]

Really didn't enjoy this at all. Meandering, uninteresting characters.

[Elizabeth Timofeeva]

Incel fan fic

[Leihani Myers · Rating 2 out of 5]

I got halfway and quit, hated them both … maybe the second half is better.

Amis’ take on women: yikes

[Chris Taylor · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book draws some very authentic characters and follows them through a chunk of their lives in 1960's London. It feels a little like a period piece. The themes feel dated - do we think of adultery in the same way as people like this did in the sixties or seventies? - and the lives that Amis is describing are engaging but don't seem to be conveying anything urgent or necessary. It seems that the main male character, who is an absolute cad, is let off a bit too easily here. Still, it wasn't boring. The dialogue in particular is very well-written and funny.

[Greg · Rating 1 out of 5]

I made it 30 pages or so into this and just wasn't drawn into it at all. Maybe it was the setting or the style, but life's too short (and my to-read list is too long) to put up with books that aren't gripping.

[Jerroleen · Rating 1 out of 5]

Amis tries to be so clever, but he's no Jane Austen or Evelyn Waugh. This book was icky. Really. It made me feel icky. I stopped reading it about halfway, even though I had a feeling the ending would turn out okay. The characters were all people I had no desire to read anything more about.

[Calvin · Rating 2 out of 5]

I've never enjoyed the disconnect that Amis had with his characters in his later work. Especially here when the same characters were the leads in a novel years before when Amis wrote with a good deal more wit.

[Brad · Rating 2 out of 5]

Many good one-liners, but not worth it for all that. I can't help but consider Amis's view of human relationships about the most depressing thing ever. The ending made me want to curl up into a little ball and cry. Don't bother -- only for hard-core Amis fans.

[psb · Rating 4 out of 5]

No solutions presented.

[Se84 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sequel to "Take a Girl Like You."

[Tori · Rating 2 out of 5]

My conclusion (10 pages in): I just don't care.

[Leslie · Rating 2 out of 5]

I love Kingsley Amis but this tale I found dark and unpleasant. So satirical that it was sad, not funny (except in rare moments.