This book had everything i absolutely needed in it. I was lucky enough to the ARC from it. The way that she dealt with her trauma was so real and authentic. How she came to realization that she needs to do her own shit is also real and authentic. I love how Maddie and Ezra’s relationship evolved and who they became as people. Her mom still to the end of the book can fuck off. I never liked her from the beginning and still don’t after finishing it.
Here’s a few of my favorite quotes
“It was only the one time.”
“Don't give up on us. I love you.”
“Are you really going to throw away three years over one stupid, drunk mistake?”
“Please don't tell your dad.”
"Oh, fuck. Enjoying the show?" Ava says from behind me.
"Um, no," I reply quickly.
"Should we…do something?"
"Like what? Join? I didn't realize you all were that kind of family, but…I'll try anything once."
I'm entirely inexperienced. Ethan and I probably had sex hundreds of times. I thought it was good. I usually came…at least half of the time.
"Did you forget we all made plans to go to the movies?" he asks. "Are you that much of a lightweight that you don't remember?"
Probably at the bottom of a bottle, if I'm being honest. Shit.
I look like a cat burglar. Damn it.
"You need to calm down," Ben says into my ear, quiet enough that the others shouldn't have been able to hear it over the music. "They can smell fear."
"Exactly. Because he's a fucking loser who plays video games all night and sleeps all day." "He eats pussy good, though," she says, shrugging. "And I'm going to need something to do when you guys go back to school in the fall."
He wraps an arm around my waist, pulls me onto his lap, and places my hands on the wheel while keeping his foot even on the gas pedal. "You're going to go straight down here for a while. I'll tell you where to turn."
"You need to be careful taking things in stride, or someday you'll wake up and realize you've made such a habit of giving in that you have no fucking clue who you are or how to fight for yourself."
"Jesus. You're really fucked up. And you call me dead inside. You're dead inside. All the way dead if you're not careful."
It's for whatever sense of self I had before that's gone now. For the emptiness inside of me that I didn't know how to fill. For this hollow shell of a person who didn't have a fucking clue who she was and who didn't want anything.
He narrows his eyes at me, and I stuff a couple more pieces of bacon in my mouth before I do what he says and get the hell out of his kitchen. I head up the stairs, down the hall to my room, and close the door behind me. I take the soiled pink thong out of my pocket and think of Maddie losing control and fucking my face and get hard—again. I wrap the small piece of silky fabric around my cock and cum on it—again.
"And what about bro code?" "Bro code? Based on what? That you almost caught her on fire once and almost drowned her another time? Give me a fucking break. Move."
Everyone knows all of those prep school idiots have nothing to do all day but jack each other off and play darts and shit."
be good for me, won't you, Maddie?" "Yes," I tell him. He leans in and whispers, "I bet you'll even get wet while you do it," then turns and walks back to the throw line.
"You shouldn't touch things that don't belong to you," Ezra says from behind me. "What are you talking about?" I ask, turning to face him. "I'm not talking to you; I'm talking to him." "Really?" Ben laughs. "That's not how people work. You can't call dibs. Isn't that what you said?" "What is he talking about?" "I came in it so it's mine," he says. "It?" I scoff. "That's really fucking nice."
"You better come fast then," he says into my ear. "I don't want to have to rip someone's eyes out of their head for seeing you like this."
"I love you," she says.
"I'm going to go get you something to wear," I tell her, then leave the bathroom.
"Will you hold me? Please?" I ask. Wordlessly, she sits up and wraps her arms around me.
"No, what I mean is…I don't want you to. I want you to stay here with me. I didn't go to college, and I don't have a lot of money, but I could take care of you. I could do a good job, I think."
"Do you want to tell me what the fuck is going on with you right now?" "Umm…my aunt just fucking died," I say.