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The Merciful Scar
Kirsten has spent her life trying to forget. But mercy begs her to remember.
When she was in high school, a terrible accident fractured her family, and the only relief Kirsten could find was carving tiny lines into her skin, burying her pain in her flesh. The pain she caused herself was neat and manageable compared to the emotional pain that raged inside.
She was coping. Or so she thought.
But then, eight years later, on the night she expects her long-time boyfriend to propose, Kirsten learns he’s been secretly seeing her best friend. Desperate to escape her feelings, she reaches for the one thing that gives her a sense of control in the midst of chaos.
But this time the cut isn’t so tiny, and it lands her in the psych hospital. Within hours of being there she knows she can’t stay—she isn’t crazy, after all. But she can’t go back to the life she knew before either.
So when her pastor mentions a treatment program on a working ranch, Kirsten decides to take him up on the offer and get away from it all. But the one thing she can’t escape is herself—and her shame.
The ranch is home to a motley crew, each with a lesson to teach. Ever so slowly, Kirsten opens herself to embrace healing—even the scarred places that hurt the most. Mercy begs her to remember the past . . . showing her there’s nothing that cannot be redeemed.
“[St. James and Rue] tackle a tough topic with sensitivity and forthrightness in an intense novel about self-injury, self-esteem, and the numerous shades of love. Highly recommended.” —Library Journal, starred review
When she was in high school, a terrible accident fractured her family, and the only relief Kirsten could find was carving tiny lines into her skin, burying her pain in her flesh. The pain she caused herself was neat and manageable compared to the emotional pain that raged inside.
She was coping. Or so she thought.
But then, eight years later, on the night she expects her long-time boyfriend to propose, Kirsten learns he’s been secretly seeing her best friend. Desperate to escape her feelings, she reaches for the one thing that gives her a sense of control in the midst of chaos.
But this time the cut isn’t so tiny, and it lands her in the psych hospital. Within hours of being there she knows she can’t stay—she isn’t crazy, after all. But she can’t go back to the life she knew before either.
So when her pastor mentions a treatment program on a working ranch, Kirsten decides to take him up on the offer and get away from it all. But the one thing she can’t escape is herself—and her shame.
The ranch is home to a motley crew, each with a lesson to teach. Ever so slowly, Kirsten opens herself to embrace healing—even the scarred places that hurt the most. Mercy begs her to remember the past . . . showing her there’s nothing that cannot be redeemed.
“[St. James and Rue] tackle a tough topic with sensitivity and forthrightness in an intense novel about self-injury, self-esteem, and the numerous shades of love. Highly recommended.” —Library Journal, starred review
355 pages, Paperback
First published September 10, 2013
28 people are currently reading
896 people want to read
About the author
Rebecca St. James
55 books128 followersRebecca St. James, an Australian-born Christian recording artist, is both a Grammy Award winner and a multiple Dove Award recipient. She is also the bestselling author of Wait for Me, SHE Teen, and What is He Thinking. In addition, St. James has appeared in the film Sarah's Choice and lent her voice to VeggieTales' An Easter Story. www.rsjames.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 96 reviews
January 19, 2014
I really wanted to like this book. And, yet...It is a nice story of struggle and redemption and may be helpful to some people who struggle with SI, PTSD, etc. However, I got the impression that these authors were promoting physical labor and faith in God as cures for mental illness. I'm not knocking either approach, but in my experience with mental illness, more often than not it requires professional intervention and this book leaves that angle out. I think they do sufferers a disservice by highlighting methods that are not necessarily sound roads to recovery when one is facing a serious mental illness.
I can tell that the authors have their hearts in the right place. It is good to get this message out, especially in the Christian community where a lot of stigma towards mental illness persists. I do think, however, the subject could have been handled with a little more finesse and a dash of reality.
I can tell that the authors have their hearts in the right place. It is good to get this message out, especially in the Christian community where a lot of stigma towards mental illness persists. I do think, however, the subject could have been handled with a little more finesse and a dash of reality.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 2, 2022
The Merciful Scar is a treatment and recovery story for self-harming. Kirsten ends up in this program after a self-harming incident appears to be a suicide attempt (but isn't). That's the only real incident of cutting in the story, at the beginning, and then she goes into a faith-based recovery program on a ranch. I liked the writing and character, but the named inner voice seemed a bit unnatural. The changes she goes through on the ranch seem heartfelt and real, and I liked the story overall.
September 8, 2014
This novel is life-changing. I almost didn't read it, because emotionally-laden tales aren't my thing. But the authors introduce us to Kirsten as her world falls apart, and the story isn't about angst—it's about healing.
Kirsten has been carrying a lot of pain for seven years now, hiding it from the world because that's what she's been taught. The pressure of post-graduate studies, and a boyfriend who won't commit, only make things worse. Nobody knows that when the stress gets too much, Kirsten cuts her own flesh for relief. Her body is a map of scars.
Falling apart is the best thing to happen in her life, because now she can heal—if she'll acknowledge the hurts. Despite parental objections, she chooses an unconventional sort of treatment centre: a remote sheep ranch run by a former nun, Sister Frankie.
Sister Frankie is amazing, and I wish we all had someone like her in our lives. May we become someone like her to those around us: present, listening, waiting, praying.
Other residents of the ranch include Emma, a young woman struggling with post-traumatic stress after a stint in Afghanistan, as well as Frankie's Uncle Joseph and later her nephew, Andy. The daily work of caring for the animals bonds them into family and slowly allows Kirsten and Emma to begin the healing journey.
This is one of those richly-crafted stories with strong characters and a vivid sense of place. Kirsten, the hider, feels exposed on the vast Montana flatlands. In the sheep and in one of the sheepdogs, she sees much of herself. The authors don't rush anything or over-explain, so readers can live the story too.
As we follow Kirsten's self-discovery, there's room for insights of our own. It's not just Kirsten's experiences and relationships that have damaged her, it's the way she learned to handle them and what she began to believe about herself.
Like many of us, Kirsten has a snarky little voice in her head that's quick with a snappy comeback or a self-criticism. She calls it the Nudnik. One of her assignments on the sheep ranch is to learn to hear the voice of God. Maybe, between the Nudnik and the Lord, she'll discover her own true voice and find the courage to use it.
How do we handle our stresses? What lies do we believe about ourselves that impact how we live, that stifle who we were meant to be? Just like Kirsten sees herself in the farm animals, I see aspects of myself in her. And in her liberation, I find freedom for myself.
My favourite quotes:
The Merciful Scar is a gentle yet compelling story, well told, and it's one of those rare books my heart felt safe to fall into. I highly recommend it to fans of women's fiction, Christian fiction, anyone with insecurity or other stress issues, and to anyone who loves someone who practices non-suicidal self-injury (cutting).
About the authors: Rebecca St. James is a Christian recording artist as well as the author of a number of non-fiction books. Nancy Rue is a novelist and acclaimed teacher of the craft of writing fiction. This is their first collaboration, and I hope it won't be their last. Twitter users can follow the conversation about the book under the hashtag #MercifulScar.
[A review copy was received from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. I was in no way compensated for this review.]
Kirsten has been carrying a lot of pain for seven years now, hiding it from the world because that's what she's been taught. The pressure of post-graduate studies, and a boyfriend who won't commit, only make things worse. Nobody knows that when the stress gets too much, Kirsten cuts her own flesh for relief. Her body is a map of scars.
Falling apart is the best thing to happen in her life, because now she can heal—if she'll acknowledge the hurts. Despite parental objections, she chooses an unconventional sort of treatment centre: a remote sheep ranch run by a former nun, Sister Frankie.
Sister Frankie is amazing, and I wish we all had someone like her in our lives. May we become someone like her to those around us: present, listening, waiting, praying.
Other residents of the ranch include Emma, a young woman struggling with post-traumatic stress after a stint in Afghanistan, as well as Frankie's Uncle Joseph and later her nephew, Andy. The daily work of caring for the animals bonds them into family and slowly allows Kirsten and Emma to begin the healing journey.
This is one of those richly-crafted stories with strong characters and a vivid sense of place. Kirsten, the hider, feels exposed on the vast Montana flatlands. In the sheep and in one of the sheepdogs, she sees much of herself. The authors don't rush anything or over-explain, so readers can live the story too.
As we follow Kirsten's self-discovery, there's room for insights of our own. It's not just Kirsten's experiences and relationships that have damaged her, it's the way she learned to handle them and what she began to believe about herself.
Like many of us, Kirsten has a snarky little voice in her head that's quick with a snappy comeback or a self-criticism. She calls it the Nudnik. One of her assignments on the sheep ranch is to learn to hear the voice of God. Maybe, between the Nudnik and the Lord, she'll discover her own true voice and find the courage to use it.
How do we handle our stresses? What lies do we believe about ourselves that impact how we live, that stifle who we were meant to be? Just like Kirsten sees herself in the farm animals, I see aspects of myself in her. And in her liberation, I find freedom for myself.
My favourite quotes:
"My soul chose that moment to do something it hadn't done in longer ago than I could remember. It began to cry." p. 41
"Finding that true self and embracing it is how anyone connects to God." p. 167
"I already believed in God. Now I had to accept that God believed in me." p. 169
The Merciful Scar is a gentle yet compelling story, well told, and it's one of those rare books my heart felt safe to fall into. I highly recommend it to fans of women's fiction, Christian fiction, anyone with insecurity or other stress issues, and to anyone who loves someone who practices non-suicidal self-injury (cutting).
About the authors: Rebecca St. James is a Christian recording artist as well as the author of a number of non-fiction books. Nancy Rue is a novelist and acclaimed teacher of the craft of writing fiction. This is their first collaboration, and I hope it won't be their last. Twitter users can follow the conversation about the book under the hashtag #MercifulScar.
[A review copy was received from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. I was in no way compensated for this review.]
June 21, 2013
When Kirsten was sixteen a tragedy happened to a family member and because of her guilt she started cutting herself to try to ease the pain inside of her.
Now she is twenty-three and is still struggling with pain deep inside her. One night, after a fight with her boyfriend, she wants to cut herself. She didn’t expect her boyfriend to return at the very moment she was cutting herself, and that things could get so dangerous. She ends up in a hospital psychiatric ward, because people believe she tried to kill herself.
A pastor from church stops by and tells her about Sister Frankie, an ex-nun, who takes girls like Kirsten under her care and ministers to them, so they can find healing at her ranch.
Kirsten knows nothing about ranching or sheep, but since she has no other options she decides to hear Sister Frankie out. Frankie is not the ‘sister’ she had expected to see—wearing jeans, boots and a baseball cap. Kirsten decides to give it a chance and goes with Frankie to her ranch for 30 days.
As a fragile and skinny girl, Kirsten finds ranch work heavy, but after some time she is learning and getting stronger. She also finds new friends and favorite animals to care for.
Frankie is like a mentor to Kirsten and she encourages her to listen to God’s voice. With Sister Frankie’s loving care and spiritual guidance, slowly understanding the things that haunt her will dawn and healing can begin.
Even Sister Frankie’s handsome nephew, Andy, seems to have ghosts from his past haunting him. A sweet friendship blooms between Andy and Kirsten and together they try to find healing from the scars of the past.
A touching story about a young woman who couldn’t carry her guilt on her own. She tried to relieve some of the hurt by cutting herself, but finally found healing in the most unexpected place. The reader will often be reminded of Psalm 23 throughout the book—The Lord is my Shepherd.
The authors captured the emotional aspect of the story very well and the tough subject was also made easily comprehensible for Young Adult readers.
Now she is twenty-three and is still struggling with pain deep inside her. One night, after a fight with her boyfriend, she wants to cut herself. She didn’t expect her boyfriend to return at the very moment she was cutting herself, and that things could get so dangerous. She ends up in a hospital psychiatric ward, because people believe she tried to kill herself.
A pastor from church stops by and tells her about Sister Frankie, an ex-nun, who takes girls like Kirsten under her care and ministers to them, so they can find healing at her ranch.
Kirsten knows nothing about ranching or sheep, but since she has no other options she decides to hear Sister Frankie out. Frankie is not the ‘sister’ she had expected to see—wearing jeans, boots and a baseball cap. Kirsten decides to give it a chance and goes with Frankie to her ranch for 30 days.
As a fragile and skinny girl, Kirsten finds ranch work heavy, but after some time she is learning and getting stronger. She also finds new friends and favorite animals to care for.
Frankie is like a mentor to Kirsten and she encourages her to listen to God’s voice. With Sister Frankie’s loving care and spiritual guidance, slowly understanding the things that haunt her will dawn and healing can begin.
Even Sister Frankie’s handsome nephew, Andy, seems to have ghosts from his past haunting him. A sweet friendship blooms between Andy and Kirsten and together they try to find healing from the scars of the past.
A touching story about a young woman who couldn’t carry her guilt on her own. She tried to relieve some of the hurt by cutting herself, but finally found healing in the most unexpected place. The reader will often be reminded of Psalm 23 throughout the book—The Lord is my Shepherd.
The authors captured the emotional aspect of the story very well and the tough subject was also made easily comprehensible for Young Adult readers.
December 22, 2016
WE NEED MORE BOOKS LIKE THIS. I've never seen a book try to tackle self harm and perfectionism and hurts in Christian circles before. In purity culture.
This book hurts a lot to read and really should have a trigger warning or content note at the beginning but OH MY GOSH it's so, so good. Even the ending is unresolved, raw, but hopeful.
Thank you, Rebecca St. James and Nancy Rue. Our stories deserve a voice, and you are giving us one.
This book hurts a lot to read and really should have a trigger warning or content note at the beginning but OH MY GOSH it's so, so good. Even the ending is unresolved, raw, but hopeful.
Thank you, Rebecca St. James and Nancy Rue. Our stories deserve a voice, and you are giving us one.
September 10, 2013
Nancy Rue and Rebecca St. James have written a beautiful novel, one that mines the depths of human emotion while celebrating the triumph of mercy and God's grace. When I first picked up "The Merciful Scar", I was not entirely sure what to expect. I knew a book featuring a character who engaged in self injury to release her pain was a subject that may, at times, disturb me - and at times I was right. Cutting is a subject I deal with in my job all the time, and it can be difficult to watch people cope with their pain in that manner. However, I wasn't expecting to meet a character that not only made my heart hurt, but actually made me laugh out loud on occasion as well! Kirsten Petersen is one of those characters who steps off the page within seconds of being introduced to them, and I found the book impossible to put down because I simply had to see what would happen next. I loved Kirsten's inner voice, which she refers to as "Nudnik", a voice that seemed all too similar to the one that speaks in my own head sometimes, and one that provided for some hilarious commentary on Kirsten's life. The cast of support characters are equally wonderful, from Sister Frankie to Frankie's nephew Andy, and they add a lot of life and flavour to the story. The pacing is well done, and the scenes unfold with the sensitivity of skilled writers, unveiling ever more from chapter to chapter and drawing you deeper into the characters lives. Prepare to laugh, and cry, and come away filled with hope at all that God can accomplish.
If you are simply looking for an excellent book, then look no further. But if you are looking for a book that helps you understand why others engage in cutting to deal with pain (or maybe why you yourself struggle with this), then this book is an absolute must-read. Entertaining, insightful, and real, it is a book I plan on picking up again. 5 out of 5 stars.
A review copy was received from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. I was in no way compensated for this review.
If you are simply looking for an excellent book, then look no further. But if you are looking for a book that helps you understand why others engage in cutting to deal with pain (or maybe why you yourself struggle with this), then this book is an absolute must-read. Entertaining, insightful, and real, it is a book I plan on picking up again. 5 out of 5 stars.
A review copy was received from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. I was in no way compensated for this review.
February 12, 2016
UPDATE 2/12/16: It has been several months since I read this book, and yet I'm still thinking about it. I'm changing this from 4 to 5 stars.
I FINALLY FINISHED THIS BOOK!!! It took me almost exactly two months to read this book. It was very slow moving. It was hard to read even a chapter a day. But it was worth getting to the end. Other than how long it took me to read it, I really liked this book. I almost felt like I was Kirsten at some points. You could almost literally feel her pain as she was crying. You could almost feel everyone's emotions actually. I don't know why it was so hard to read though. I am very confused about that. There were one or two moments in the book where I got close to crying, and as I've said before, that's big. I never cry while reading. I never have gotten to the actual tears falling down my face part, but with a few books, I've gotten close. But anyway, if you don't mind this book taking a while to read, it's worth reading.
Clean rating: because this is a book about self-harm, there's obviously some "violence", and in the beginning and briefly in the middle, people talked about certain adult romance things ("strong romance") if you know what I mean. :)
I FINALLY FINISHED THIS BOOK!!! It took me almost exactly two months to read this book. It was very slow moving. It was hard to read even a chapter a day. But it was worth getting to the end. Other than how long it took me to read it, I really liked this book. I almost felt like I was Kirsten at some points. You could almost literally feel her pain as she was crying. You could almost feel everyone's emotions actually. I don't know why it was so hard to read though. I am very confused about that. There were one or two moments in the book where I got close to crying, and as I've said before, that's big. I never cry while reading. I never have gotten to the actual tears falling down my face part, but with a few books, I've gotten close. But anyway, if you don't mind this book taking a while to read, it's worth reading.
Clean rating: because this is a book about self-harm, there's obviously some "violence", and in the beginning and briefly in the middle, people talked about certain adult romance things ("strong romance") if you know what I mean. :)
September 19, 2013
This is possibly the most beautiful book I've ever read. Few authors are willing to touch self-harm for fear of triggering or misrepresenting. Yet, Rebecca St. James and Nancy Rue do a beautiful job. It deals with the subject so delicately, yet authentically. To anyone who has struggled, is struggling, or knows someone who is/has, read this. Even if you have no interest in the subject, read it anyway. Words do not suffice when explaining just how highly I think of "The Merciful Scar". I'm generally not one to reread books, but this one definitely will be.
October 5, 2014
Okay, so this has become one of my most favourite books. Ever. It touched me in so many ways that I can't even explain, and gave me so much relief and understanding for so many things. It was so crazy because I felt like the main character had so many of the same thoughts and emotions as I have and that I have experienced. Wow. Just wow. This book has changed me in so many ways, and there is only a same handful of others that have had the same impact on me.
If you are suffering on the inside in any way at all, please, please read this. You won't regret it, I promise.
If you are suffering on the inside in any way at all, please, please read this. You won't regret it, I promise.
December 30, 2013
Although fiction, this book gave great insight to the struggles of people who self-injure and how they might start on the road to recovery. Great resources at the end for school counselors/other helping professions.
July 11, 2022
A nice, heartfelt, Christian read about a girl who cuts (self-injures) and finds healing at a ranch.
For the most part I enjoyed this book... the relationships between the characters was well developed and I enjoyed the Christian message that was brought out.
A couple things annoyed me though... For one the humour was kinda pushed too far at some stages. Like it's good to have humour sometimes, but it was in EVERY. SINGLE. conversation and it sometimes seemed to ruin those conversations, made them less deep and less meaningful. I'm not sure...I just feel like it could have been toned down a little.
Another thing was that she heard the voice of God sometimes (like a literal voice speaking to her) which I disagreed with.
But it was a decent read.
For the most part I enjoyed this book... the relationships between the characters was well developed and I enjoyed the Christian message that was brought out.
A couple things annoyed me though... For one the humour was kinda pushed too far at some stages. Like it's good to have humour sometimes, but it was in EVERY. SINGLE. conversation and it sometimes seemed to ruin those conversations, made them less deep and less meaningful. I'm not sure...I just feel like it could have been toned down a little.
Another thing was that she heard the voice of God sometimes (like a literal voice speaking to her) which I disagreed with.
But it was a decent read.
August 12, 2024
one of the books that i would recommend to everyone. although the writing was a bit iffy, it wasnt too bad and the message is just amazing. all the characters go through so much and support each other through all of it it’s just MWAH. go read this. rn. it’s not that long u should finish it in less than a week.
July 9, 2025
I appreciated how relatable this novel was. It addressed real issues we face in this fallen world and biblical approach to it
I enjoyed the format of the protagonist battling with her own thoughts and learning to shut them down as I have had to learn how to fight against similar thoughts as well
I enjoyed the format of the protagonist battling with her own thoughts and learning to shut them down as I have had to learn how to fight against similar thoughts as well
September 30, 2014
Rating: 3.5 out of 5
There is a difference between fiction that deals with a traumatic past and fiction that revolves around ones mistakes. This new piece of fiction falls into the painful trappings of the latter. When first we meet its heroine, Kirsten (a girl who may not be in the title but is certainly the person the title is all about), she’s a seemingly happy college student who is living a good life with a doting boyfriend and friends. It isn’t until her dreams fall apart and her boyfriend, Wes’ betrayal is revealed that her dark past and propensity to hurt herself physically that we learn not only does Kirsten have a whole world of guilt she carries, she also is lacking a support system to help her escape the metaphorical chains that pull her down.
From the moment I first saw this novel listed on Goodreads, I knew it was a book I’d have to read. Being a fan of Rebecca’s since she gave an interview on a conservative talk show – which prompted me to purchase one of her albums and in the following years to read her books that tackled the tough issues for young Christian women, meant that I was eager to read Rebecca’s first foray into the world of fiction. Like any good novel, I think the characters are well developed and in particular, Kirsten’s self-injury plight is not something to be taken lightly and will probably resonate with more people than I would care to imagine. That’s the most heartbreaking thing about Merciful Scar, coming to realize this is a reality rather than fiction and getting an up-close and personal look at the life of a talented, pretty young girl who think resorting to self-injury is what will offer her relief is a jarring thing.
Much as I wished to like if not “enjoy” this novel, I have to say, it wasn’t quite what I wanted – hoped, it to be. The opening pages start persuasive, fascinating the reader to discover more about the complicated girl whose thoughts we’re inside, however two chapters in and things become even more complicated, and quite honestly take a turn for the “worse.” Instead of a usual first person narrative, there was an inner-thought voice that the text refers to as a Nudnik and, well, I am not quite sure what this was meant to demonstrate. Is this merely Kirsten’s conscious and self-doubt speaking? Or is it something more sinister meant to represent evil, temptation trying to lure her deeper into darkness? Early on, it’s as if it was meant to imply the latter, lending a more sinister bent to it plus it explains why Kirsten succumbed so easily to the places she did. Later, I began to merely read it as an inner-voice Kirsten learned to quiet – and in empowering her own self-esteem, “control.”
There is a lot that was good about this novel. None of the characters have it “all together” yet by taking something that was broken or in need to saving, each person again found purpose. Once things began to get moving the relationships are a joy to read about and learn from as the pain of everyone’s past slowly heals. What’s best about this novel isn’t that it isn’t “neat,” it’s messy and the characters, concepts and prose reflects that. Though satisfying in a rudimentary sort of way, the ending also does not reflect perfection or necessarily true happiness. It leaves us hopeful, but not sure of anything – and in such a dark story, I’m not sure how “good” that kind of conclusion is.
A version of this review first appeared on Fiction Addict.
With thanks to Fiction Addict and the publisher for providing a complimentary ARC copy of this book for reviewing purposes
© Copyright 2011-2013 Dreaming Under the Same Moon / Scribbles, Scripts and Such
There is a difference between fiction that deals with a traumatic past and fiction that revolves around ones mistakes. This new piece of fiction falls into the painful trappings of the latter. When first we meet its heroine, Kirsten (a girl who may not be in the title but is certainly the person the title is all about), she’s a seemingly happy college student who is living a good life with a doting boyfriend and friends. It isn’t until her dreams fall apart and her boyfriend, Wes’ betrayal is revealed that her dark past and propensity to hurt herself physically that we learn not only does Kirsten have a whole world of guilt she carries, she also is lacking a support system to help her escape the metaphorical chains that pull her down.
From the moment I first saw this novel listed on Goodreads, I knew it was a book I’d have to read. Being a fan of Rebecca’s since she gave an interview on a conservative talk show – which prompted me to purchase one of her albums and in the following years to read her books that tackled the tough issues for young Christian women, meant that I was eager to read Rebecca’s first foray into the world of fiction. Like any good novel, I think the characters are well developed and in particular, Kirsten’s self-injury plight is not something to be taken lightly and will probably resonate with more people than I would care to imagine. That’s the most heartbreaking thing about Merciful Scar, coming to realize this is a reality rather than fiction and getting an up-close and personal look at the life of a talented, pretty young girl who think resorting to self-injury is what will offer her relief is a jarring thing.
Much as I wished to like if not “enjoy” this novel, I have to say, it wasn’t quite what I wanted – hoped, it to be. The opening pages start persuasive, fascinating the reader to discover more about the complicated girl whose thoughts we’re inside, however two chapters in and things become even more complicated, and quite honestly take a turn for the “worse.” Instead of a usual first person narrative, there was an inner-thought voice that the text refers to as a Nudnik and, well, I am not quite sure what this was meant to demonstrate. Is this merely Kirsten’s conscious and self-doubt speaking? Or is it something more sinister meant to represent evil, temptation trying to lure her deeper into darkness? Early on, it’s as if it was meant to imply the latter, lending a more sinister bent to it plus it explains why Kirsten succumbed so easily to the places she did. Later, I began to merely read it as an inner-voice Kirsten learned to quiet – and in empowering her own self-esteem, “control.”
There is a lot that was good about this novel. None of the characters have it “all together” yet by taking something that was broken or in need to saving, each person again found purpose. Once things began to get moving the relationships are a joy to read about and learn from as the pain of everyone’s past slowly heals. What’s best about this novel isn’t that it isn’t “neat,” it’s messy and the characters, concepts and prose reflects that. Though satisfying in a rudimentary sort of way, the ending also does not reflect perfection or necessarily true happiness. It leaves us hopeful, but not sure of anything – and in such a dark story, I’m not sure how “good” that kind of conclusion is.
A version of this review first appeared on Fiction Addict.
With thanks to Fiction Addict and the publisher for providing a complimentary ARC copy of this book for reviewing purposes
© Copyright 2011-2013 Dreaming Under the Same Moon / Scribbles, Scripts and Such
January 4, 2014
Summary:
Kirstin’s life is complicated. Actually, it’s more than that. It hurts. She has a boyfriend who’s making her second-guess her convictions, parents for whom she can never be good enough, and constant reminders that she’s at least partly responsible for a terrible tragedy that still haunts her years after it happened. She’s overwhelmed by life, and she cuts herself. The pain distracts her from the storms in her life, while also giving her a sense of control. But then she accidentally goes too far and finds herself in a psychiatric hospital under the supervision of people who believe she’s trying to end her life. The only way out is by staying on a ranch owned by Sister Frankie, a retired nun, and helping take care of Frankie’s sheep. The ranch is home to other people weathering other unimaginable hurt. But Kirsten is on the ranch for a reason, and although her physical and emotional scars run deep, they’re not to deep to be redeemed by mercy.
My Thoughts:
The Merciful Scar is a serious story, showing readers not only Kirsten’s wounds, but the wounds of others she encounters. Kirsten deals with her pain by self-injuring. Because of this, some of the scenes made me cringe and want to cover my eyes. But Kirsten is so real that I cared about her too much to leave her in the middle of her darkest moments. Faith plays a huge role in the story, but the book is never preachy. Even if you’re like me and can’t relate to everything Kirsten goes through, I’m guessing you’ve still had moments when you felt helpless and maybe even hopeless. Maybe, like Kirsten, your scars run deep. This book shows that, yes, life can be inexplicably hard, but like Sister Frankie so beautifully shows Kirsten on the ranch, we have a Good Shepherd who carries us and loves us. This book is powerful. It’ll make you cry, smile, and cry while you smile. It’s a story of redemption, healing, and Mercy strong enough to rebuild a broken life.
**Kirsten is in her young twenties, so this book is a good read for college students. Although some of the big issues in the book are handled well, I recommend this story for people in their late teens or older.
In Conclusion:
Rebecca St. James is an inspirational singer, writer, and actress (Sarah’s Choice, 2009). I looked forward to seeing her collaborate on this novel. Nancy Rue holds a very dear place in my heart, and will always be one of my very favorite authors. Her books for tweens made me fall in love with reading and I firmly believe my love of story-telling stems from the connection I felt with her books as a middle-school girl. There was something so relatable—so real—about those books that inspired me to live for Jesus and be who I was made to be. Those books still sit on my shelf, and although I’ve read them countless times, I still flip through them every now and then. I love her adult books, too, and I’m thrilled to add The Merciful Scar to my collection.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.comhttp://BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/wa... : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
Kirstin’s life is complicated. Actually, it’s more than that. It hurts. She has a boyfriend who’s making her second-guess her convictions, parents for whom she can never be good enough, and constant reminders that she’s at least partly responsible for a terrible tragedy that still haunts her years after it happened. She’s overwhelmed by life, and she cuts herself. The pain distracts her from the storms in her life, while also giving her a sense of control. But then she accidentally goes too far and finds herself in a psychiatric hospital under the supervision of people who believe she’s trying to end her life. The only way out is by staying on a ranch owned by Sister Frankie, a retired nun, and helping take care of Frankie’s sheep. The ranch is home to other people weathering other unimaginable hurt. But Kirsten is on the ranch for a reason, and although her physical and emotional scars run deep, they’re not to deep to be redeemed by mercy.
My Thoughts:
The Merciful Scar is a serious story, showing readers not only Kirsten’s wounds, but the wounds of others she encounters. Kirsten deals with her pain by self-injuring. Because of this, some of the scenes made me cringe and want to cover my eyes. But Kirsten is so real that I cared about her too much to leave her in the middle of her darkest moments. Faith plays a huge role in the story, but the book is never preachy. Even if you’re like me and can’t relate to everything Kirsten goes through, I’m guessing you’ve still had moments when you felt helpless and maybe even hopeless. Maybe, like Kirsten, your scars run deep. This book shows that, yes, life can be inexplicably hard, but like Sister Frankie so beautifully shows Kirsten on the ranch, we have a Good Shepherd who carries us and loves us. This book is powerful. It’ll make you cry, smile, and cry while you smile. It’s a story of redemption, healing, and Mercy strong enough to rebuild a broken life.
**Kirsten is in her young twenties, so this book is a good read for college students. Although some of the big issues in the book are handled well, I recommend this story for people in their late teens or older.
In Conclusion:
Rebecca St. James is an inspirational singer, writer, and actress (Sarah’s Choice, 2009). I looked forward to seeing her collaborate on this novel. Nancy Rue holds a very dear place in my heart, and will always be one of my very favorite authors. Her books for tweens made me fall in love with reading and I firmly believe my love of story-telling stems from the connection I felt with her books as a middle-school girl. There was something so relatable—so real—about those books that inspired me to live for Jesus and be who I was made to be. Those books still sit on my shelf, and although I’ve read them countless times, I still flip through them every now and then. I love her adult books, too, and I’m thrilled to add The Merciful Scar to my collection.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.comhttp://BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/wa... : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
August 28, 2013
Kirsten is a normal girl on the outside, but she is slowly dying on the inside. An accident in her family has broken how she sees herself, her family, and God; and the only way she feels anything at all is by carving tiny lines into her skin. Despite the physical pain that comes from such actions, the emotional pain she is suffering far outweighs a little blood she draws from time to time. Feeling guilt from the past and thinking she can do nothing to change her life, she tries in vain to ease the pain that is threatening to overwhelm and overtake her.
Now at twenty-three years old, she still fights the demons of her past. Her boyfriend of several years provides somewhat of a crutch for her, but when she discovers he is seeing her best friend, her world comes crashing down around her. She does what she knows will ease the pain - a knife, a little line, a little blood, and a little guilt eased temporally. But this time the line isn't so little, and this time someone sees her. She lands in the psych ward because it is believed she tried to kill herself.
Knowing she has gone too far this time, Kirsten takes her pastor's suggestion to go to a sheep ranch that has a treatment program for people like her. But no matter what she does or where she goes, she cannot escape from the pain and guilt of her past. Will she ever find the redeeming grace and forgiveness everyone talks about but seems to elude her? And will she ever be able to forgive herself for what she has done?
If you have ever done anything in your past that you can't forgive yourself for, you will certainly empathize with Kirsten and understand how she got to the point of cutting herself. While this book is directed more for the YA group, I think that readers of any age (not children, of course) will benefit from reading this novel. Cutting is not something that we know a lot about as a society, and unless it affects us in some way, it's one of the issues that gets swept under the rug. Forgiveness is a simple thing, freeing and liberating in nature. But forgiving yourself is the hardest thing to do sometimes, as Kirsten learns and experiences firsthand.
This book was provided by Thomas Nelson Publishers for free in exchange for an honest review.
Now at twenty-three years old, she still fights the demons of her past. Her boyfriend of several years provides somewhat of a crutch for her, but when she discovers he is seeing her best friend, her world comes crashing down around her. She does what she knows will ease the pain - a knife, a little line, a little blood, and a little guilt eased temporally. But this time the line isn't so little, and this time someone sees her. She lands in the psych ward because it is believed she tried to kill herself.
Knowing she has gone too far this time, Kirsten takes her pastor's suggestion to go to a sheep ranch that has a treatment program for people like her. But no matter what she does or where she goes, she cannot escape from the pain and guilt of her past. Will she ever find the redeeming grace and forgiveness everyone talks about but seems to elude her? And will she ever be able to forgive herself for what she has done?
If you have ever done anything in your past that you can't forgive yourself for, you will certainly empathize with Kirsten and understand how she got to the point of cutting herself. While this book is directed more for the YA group, I think that readers of any age (not children, of course) will benefit from reading this novel. Cutting is not something that we know a lot about as a society, and unless it affects us in some way, it's one of the issues that gets swept under the rug. Forgiveness is a simple thing, freeing and liberating in nature. But forgiving yourself is the hardest thing to do sometimes, as Kirsten learns and experiences firsthand.
This book was provided by Thomas Nelson Publishers for free in exchange for an honest review.
October 1, 2013
Review on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/review/R1CL3V1U...
Review on my blog: http://www.christianbookshelfreviews....
The Merciful Scar is the first book I've read by Nancy Rue and also the first fiction book I've read by Rebecca St. James. The book started out great and I felt for Kirsten right away. The story's subject was kind of dark (self-injury/cutting) and one that I've read very few (if any) books about.
The few things I didn't like about The Merciful Scar: Even though the writing was really good, there were times it didn't click with me; there were some things in the story I didn't agree with theologically; and, lastly, I wish the ending would have had a bit more closure.
I loved how real all the characters in The Merciful Scar felt. Kirsten, Emma, and Andy all had things in their lives they were struggling with - which made them very relatable.
Overall, The Merciful Scar was a good read and I enjoyed reading it. I look forward to reading more books from these authors and recommend this one - just be warned that the subject matter is about cutting, so if you have a weak stomach, you might find those parts of the story very hard to read. I didn't have trouble reading those scenes, but then I do have a tough stomach for those kinds of things in novels.
*I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher via BookSneeze® for my review. I was not required to give a positive review, only my honest opinion - which I've done. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.*
Review on my blog: http://www.christianbookshelfreviews....
The Merciful Scar is the first book I've read by Nancy Rue and also the first fiction book I've read by Rebecca St. James. The book started out great and I felt for Kirsten right away. The story's subject was kind of dark (self-injury/cutting) and one that I've read very few (if any) books about.
The few things I didn't like about The Merciful Scar: Even though the writing was really good, there were times it didn't click with me; there were some things in the story I didn't agree with theologically; and, lastly, I wish the ending would have had a bit more closure.
I loved how real all the characters in The Merciful Scar felt. Kirsten, Emma, and Andy all had things in their lives they were struggling with - which made them very relatable.
Overall, The Merciful Scar was a good read and I enjoyed reading it. I look forward to reading more books from these authors and recommend this one - just be warned that the subject matter is about cutting, so if you have a weak stomach, you might find those parts of the story very hard to read. I didn't have trouble reading those scenes, but then I do have a tough stomach for those kinds of things in novels.
*I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher via BookSneeze® for my review. I was not required to give a positive review, only my honest opinion - which I've done. All thoughts and opinions expressed are my own.*
May 3, 2020
The Merciful Scar was a book that, in the beginning, before I started it, I thought that it was going to be just OKAY. The girl had a thing with cutting, her boyfriend breaks up with her, she (accidentially) cuts herself so bad she gets put in the psych ward, yada yada. But, no. This book totally surprised me. Sure, that did happen, but it was so much more than that. It was a realistic, powerful story, where ANYTHING in it could happen to ANYONE. The main character, Kirsten, has been living with guilt with seven years. Honestly, getting "commited" was kind of a good thing for her. I mean, sure, she didn't want to stay there, but she didn't. She was then taken to a "rehab" center (basically a sheep farm) run by a former nun. There, she found friendship, redemption, truth, love, and God. I think that there should definitely be a second, picking up where this one left off. I need to know what's going to happen to . . .
October 17, 2013
This book was well-written and moving, just as I had expected. Some of the lines from the book still haunt me a bit, not always in a good way, but I still have recommended it to several friends already.
This book deals with the issue of cutting (Non-Suicidal Self-Injury). While I haven't struggled with this particular problem, I can relate on so many levels to what Kirsten goes through in this novel. Frequently we beat up on ourselves when other people are cruel to us, and we don't even seem to realize why we are doing it. Sometimes that is expressed in social withdrawal, dieting issues (like anorexia and bulimia), cutting type behaviors, and a whole lot of other things I can identify as self-destructive but don't know how to name. I have seen self-destruction just like this surfacing amongst my peers and friends and even to some extent in myself, always triggered by trauma and grief. It's good to be reminded, as this book gently tries to do, that God loves us and wants to lead us out of there into "an expansive place." We don't have to try to heal ourselves when we are in pain. In Christ's strength, we find our healing.
I think it was good to read the book, because it made me contemplate how I have coped with some traumas in my own life, and urged me to put that pain back in Christ's capable hands (instead of trying to heal myself). I'll bet it will have the same effect on every 20-something who reads it.
This book deals with the issue of cutting (Non-Suicidal Self-Injury). While I haven't struggled with this particular problem, I can relate on so many levels to what Kirsten goes through in this novel. Frequently we beat up on ourselves when other people are cruel to us, and we don't even seem to realize why we are doing it. Sometimes that is expressed in social withdrawal, dieting issues (like anorexia and bulimia), cutting type behaviors, and a whole lot of other things I can identify as self-destructive but don't know how to name. I have seen self-destruction just like this surfacing amongst my peers and friends and even to some extent in myself, always triggered by trauma and grief. It's good to be reminded, as this book gently tries to do, that God loves us and wants to lead us out of there into "an expansive place." We don't have to try to heal ourselves when we are in pain. In Christ's strength, we find our healing.
I think it was good to read the book, because it made me contemplate how I have coped with some traumas in my own life, and urged me to put that pain back in Christ's capable hands (instead of trying to heal myself). I'll bet it will have the same effect on every 20-something who reads it.
January 27, 2015
Nancy Rue has done it again---she's crafted a poignant tale that hits our generation right where it needs it most. Always relevant, often funny, and always spiritually sound, Rue delivers everything we've come to know and love about her books. A few lines and characters remind me of some of her other books, but this tale is all it's own as well. And don't think it's just about cutting. That's only part of the story. I recommend to all ages, but especially to twenty-somethings on the cusp of their lives.
December 26, 2013
I didn't think Nancy Rue's books could possibly become any better. They were already just so amazing. Then, she found a partner. Rebecca St. James and Nancy Rue are an incredible team, and I hope they will write more books together in the future. This book was great. I read within a 24 hour period and had a very hard time putting it down. I am 16 years old, and while it wasn't gory, I would not recommend it for someone under the age of 14, just because of Kirsten's story as a cutter. But, for all you women out there 15 and up, you simply must read this book!
September 21, 2020
At first I had a hard time getting into this book, but I think it was just the mood I was in. It ended up being a very good story. I thought it was well written & relatable. I enjoyed the characters & the story line.
I would love to see a second book to continue where it ended & see how each person continues to grow in their faith & lives.
I will definitely be looking for more books by these authors.
I would love to see a second book to continue where it ended & see how each person continues to grow in their faith & lives.
I will definitely be looking for more books by these authors.
July 9, 2014
Okay read but nothing I am going to remember after I return it to the library. I really got tired of hearing about the "Nubnik" on every other page. What a strange and frankly annoying word to read about on every other page. Totally get the critical inner voice as I have it too but just hated the bizarre name for it in the book.
Read
May 20, 2017I liked reading this book. People do look to go with God or find their faith when they are recovering. Others opinions may help, but don't really matter. Reminds me of 28 days....plants and then animals! I liked it better than Cut by: Patricia McCormick.
This book reminded me of some of the stuff I have done out west here.
This book reminded me of some of the stuff I have done out west here.
May 12, 2014
This was an intense book about internal struggles, healing, forgiveness, and grace. I will be thinking about and sharing this book with others for quite some time.
October 26, 2025
Mostly good!
Cutting is a hard topic.
Bringing awareness has got to be balanced with not giving How-To Manuals on How-To-Start-Cutting.
The only reason I didn’t cut as a teenager is I didn’t know it existed.
Which is why Page 48 is disturbing to me.
“At first I just tried digging my fingernails into my skin, but that didn't help much. Not with stubs like mine."
"And hard on the manicure, I would suppose." You're so witty, Pastor Dave.
I was actually grateful for the humor, and I hooked on to it.
"So then I went with toothpicks. - got pretty proficient at deep scratches with those. Until my mother went to serve hors d'oeuvres."
"Yes, those little cocktail wieners are difficult to manage without picks."
"So I raided my father's desk and made off with a box of paper clips. He wasn't going to miss those. He was never there enough to use his home office."
Careful now.
"One of those unfolded was good, but I wanted something with a point or a sharp edge. And if my mother noticed the toothpicks were gone, I didn't think she'd overlook a missing piece of her cutlery."
That’s not awareness.
That’s a how-to manual.
If I were a kid reading that, I would very much be super excited to try first my fingernails, then toothpicks, then paper clips, then knives.
I would know exactly how to start and I would want to try it all!
So… yeah, that’s a problem.
Cutting is a hard topic.
Bringing awareness has got to be balanced with not giving How-To Manuals on How-To-Start-Cutting.
The only reason I didn’t cut as a teenager is I didn’t know it existed.
Which is why Page 48 is disturbing to me.
“At first I just tried digging my fingernails into my skin, but that didn't help much. Not with stubs like mine."
"And hard on the manicure, I would suppose." You're so witty, Pastor Dave.
I was actually grateful for the humor, and I hooked on to it.
"So then I went with toothpicks. - got pretty proficient at deep scratches with those. Until my mother went to serve hors d'oeuvres."
"Yes, those little cocktail wieners are difficult to manage without picks."
"So I raided my father's desk and made off with a box of paper clips. He wasn't going to miss those. He was never there enough to use his home office."
Careful now.
"One of those unfolded was good, but I wanted something with a point or a sharp edge. And if my mother noticed the toothpicks were gone, I didn't think she'd overlook a missing piece of her cutlery."
That’s not awareness.
That’s a how-to manual.
If I were a kid reading that, I would very much be super excited to try first my fingernails, then toothpicks, then paper clips, then knives.
I would know exactly how to start and I would want to try it all!
So… yeah, that’s a problem.
August 13, 2018
For other folk who aren't Christian, yet are interested in this book, I wanted to say that it's worth the read.
I'll admit, the Author's Note had me a bit worried when it explained how the book is designed for use in ministry work, but the book itself was not made to evangelize. Rebecca St.James created diverse Christian characters that I could really relate to, even without a deep understanding of the religion. There was never a time I didn't know the characters were Christian (they prayed, took Communion, held roles in the church, and a major part of Kirsten's healing was developing a deep personal relationship with God) but there was little direct quoting from scripture and all biblical references were given within context.
I would describe this book as Christian-spiritual because it focused far more on the characters developing a relationship with God than on characters reading or interpreting the Bible (which, as one reviewer mentioned, might be a real draw back for some Christian readers seeking to see the scripture used and interpreted in regards to Kirsten's type of emotional-healing).
I'll admit, the Author's Note had me a bit worried when it explained how the book is designed for use in ministry work, but the book itself was not made to evangelize. Rebecca St.James created diverse Christian characters that I could really relate to, even without a deep understanding of the religion. There was never a time I didn't know the characters were Christian (they prayed, took Communion, held roles in the church, and a major part of Kirsten's healing was developing a deep personal relationship with God) but there was little direct quoting from scripture and all biblical references were given within context.
I would describe this book as Christian-spiritual because it focused far more on the characters developing a relationship with God than on characters reading or interpreting the Bible (which, as one reviewer mentioned, might be a real draw back for some Christian readers seeking to see the scripture used and interpreted in regards to Kirsten's type of emotional-healing).
November 10, 2016
Kirsten is hurting herself by self-injuring (better known as a "cutting") - it is the way for her to get out her inner pain by the these outer ways. This is a book about her healing.
And it is a book I deeply, strongly recommend to anyone in hurt - and aren't we all hurting sometimes ? - or to anyone witnessing a hurt in others. This is real, honest and compassionate book in all the deep meanings of these words. There is no fake and/or saccharine Christianity I got so often to see in the Christian books - just pure understanding and gentle leading towards the real healing and towards God's love and understanding. I very much appreciate the patient approach towards the pain - there are neither expectations of an immediate healing nor not acknowledging that sometimes a hard spiritual work is needed, no. There is all of the pain, time, work and tears acknowledged - and embraced.
Being a Catholic, I follow the different path of faith as the one portrayed in the novel. But I see the real, God's work in this book here. And I appreciate (in sisterhood of fellow Christians) what I see.
Deeply recommended.
Deeply recommended.
And it is a book I deeply, strongly recommend to anyone in hurt - and aren't we all hurting sometimes ? - or to anyone witnessing a hurt in others. This is real, honest and compassionate book in all the deep meanings of these words. There is no fake and/or saccharine Christianity I got so often to see in the Christian books - just pure understanding and gentle leading towards the real healing and towards God's love and understanding. I very much appreciate the patient approach towards the pain - there are neither expectations of an immediate healing nor not acknowledging that sometimes a hard spiritual work is needed, no. There is all of the pain, time, work and tears acknowledged - and embraced.
Being a Catholic, I follow the different path of faith as the one portrayed in the novel. But I see the real, God's work in this book here. And I appreciate (in sisterhood of fellow Christians) what I see.
Deeply recommended.
Deeply recommended.
November 23, 2017
What a beautiful story! So heartfelt and full of real issues. Honestly one of the best books I’ve read. Kirsten’s story was well thought out and researched. I greatly admired the entire concept and approach to the issues being tackled. As someone who has experienced a couple of the themes explored, it was very beautifully written. The fact that God played the main role in it was also a massive positive point for me. I would definitely recommend this to men and women but especially to young women. It’s highly relatable and just a rollercoaster of emotions. Loved every moment of it.
January 14, 2024
I was not sure what to expect at the point I picked up the book. It wasn't long before I became hooked into the storyline. The authors did a fabulous job of developing the characters...both main and supporting...while allowing them to tell their stories. The only negative I have is the unresolved ending. Did the main character find the answers she went back for? Did she ever continue her relationship with the supporting character?? It needs an ending (and yes, I'm about 10 years late on that 🤣).
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