The Awesome Girl's Guide to Dating Extraordinary Men

by Ernessa T. Carter

Four women. Two years. A friendship to last a lifetime. The only things that Sharita, Thursday, Risa, and Tammy have in common are their disastrous love lives. But the year three of them turn thirty will be different, they swear! Sharita , a conservative accountant, wants to make partner at her firm and find the man of her dreams. Thursday , the daughter of a formerly chart-topping political rapper, wants to stop being a serial one-month stander, and settle down into a stable life with a stable boyfriend. Risa , a skinny and audacious electronica punk rocker, wants to finally land an album deal, which she feels is the only way to win back the heart of her on-again of off-again closeted girlfriend. And after getting fired as the spokesmodel for her family’s hair company, sweet and gorgeous Tammy wants to prove that she has what it takes to make it on her own. None of these women get what they want, but over the course of two years, they get exactly what they need. And that proves to be the best thing after all.

Genres: Chick Lit, Fiction, Romance, African American, Contemporary, Audiobook, Humor

494 pages, Paperback

First published September 24, 2013

About the author

Ernessa T. Carter has worked as an ESL teacher in Japan, a music journalist in Pittsburgh, a payroll administrator in Burbank, and a radio writer for American Top 40 with Ryan Seacrest in Hollywood. Shes also a retired L.A. Derby Doll. A graduate of Smith College and Carnegie Mellon Universitys MFA program, 32 CANDLES is her first novel."

Reviews

[Read In Colour · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have only been waiting on this book for two years. Actually, a little over two years, but who's counting? Even as 32 Candles was released, Ernessa T. Carter promised that a new book was coming. She let us see chapters and everything. Then life happened and the book was delayed. Imagine my surprise when I saw someone mention The Awesome Girl's Guide last month. I squealed with glee knowing that it would just be a matter of time before I'd have a chance to immerse myself in the world of Ernessa and her true to life characters.

Why the title? I know it will throw some people who see it and automatically assume that it's another self-help book for women written by the latest Twitter dating guru. It so is not. Remember Davie Jones from 32 Candles? Well she's back in a lesser role as the author of said self-help book. You know how awesome Davie is (remember her invitation to crazy line?), so just imagine the kind of advice she gives.

If you say you want to find an extraordinary man, and you've got a habit of turning down social invitations, I mean any social invitation at all, then I just plain don't believe you're serious in this endeavor. When you're searching for true love, you had best take every invitation you get, because for all you know, somebody's handing you an Invitation to Extraordinary.

Why do I love Ernessa's writing so much and why should you buy this book as soon as you finish this review? Because we all have friends just like the people she writes about. She doesn't create worlds so ridiculous that no one can imagine actually living in them. And her characters are multidimensional and human.

Though only one of the women claims to be looking for love, in actuality, all four of them are. Sharita is a by the book accountant whose professional life is on track, but her love life fell off the rails a long time ago. She hates stepping out of her comfort zone and will find every excuse to avoid social gatherings, so when she does meet a man (most likely at work or the grocery store), she goes ghost on her friends, only to reappear when things don't work out. I could write a book on people like that, and if you think about it, you have a friend just like that. Or maybe you're that friend, I'm not judging you (yes, I am).

Thursday is the queen of one month stands. Right, not one night stands, one month stands. This love them and leave them queen can attract men like bees to honey, she just doesn't want to keep them. As soon as it seems like the men are catching feelings, she gives them the old heave ho. When Davie's book falls into her lap, coupled with a recurring dream about a mysterious man, she begins to think that she might finally be ready to settle down with the one.

Risa is a hot mess. When I first started reading about her, I immediately thought of Lynn from Girlfriends. Risa doesn't mooch off of her friends like Lynn, but she is determined to make it as a musician. Her budding career was stunted before, but she has a plan to make a comeback. All of her friends think she's out of her mind, but Risa knows that if she becomes the rock star she's meant to be, The One will come back to her.

While Sharita, Thursday and Risa are all friends from college, Smith College to be exact (Ernessa's alma mater), Tammy joined the group after the trio relocated to Los Angeles. Readers will remember Tammy from 32 Candles as James Farrell's younger sister who tormented Davie Jones in high school. Tammy is the character that we know the least about, but we do know that Davie is now her sister-in-law. Most of the focus of the book is on the other three ladies, with Tammy kind of flitting about the perimeter as she tries to learn to love herself, but when she steps into the story, she does so in a big way.

At 494 pages, it seems like this could be a long read, but it's really not. Carter's writing has a way of pulling you in and not letting you go, so the pages fly right by. No one's story line is predictable and I promise you'll find yourself talking to the characters at times. I absolutely loved this book and can guarantee that I'll be re-reading it soon.

[Obsidian · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book. It took a bit to get me into it since it started off so slow, but then it picked up and I could not put it down. I loved reading about the four friends (Sharita, Thursday, Risa, and Tammy). All four women want to find love and are dealing with living in Los Angeles with the added parts of one of the women's relatives comments about finding love with an extraordinary man.

The book follows them through the year preceding their 30s and I would say the year afterwards. All of the women end up in different places than they though.

I think out of the women my favorite is Sharita. That is not to say she does not have some issues. She's a successful black women trying her best to become a Vice President at her bank. Only problem is that Sharita's picker is broken as hell. She keeps trying for men who she gives everything to and don't appreciate it. There is one scene with Sharita's latest that I wanted to slap the dude who had the nerve to tell her she should just be happy with the bare minimum he's giving since he is not married/divorced with multiple kids and has a job. I wanted to reach through the book and ring his neck. Due to Sharita dropping everything for a dude (that has never been me) she ends up falling out with long-time friend Thursday.

Thursday is still dealing with the suicide of her mother a decade earlier. Thursday is the daughter of a well known rapper that she is estranged from. Trying to do stand-up talking about how dating black men are the worst, Thursday only dates white men. Yeah, Thursday has some straight up daddy issues. I did find her to be the best at seeing her friends faults clearly. She has some definite blind-spots though.

Risa is a mess. A happy mess, but a mess still. She met Sharita and Thursday at Smith college and mourns the fact that one day she will lose her friends to marriage and babies. Risa still is in love with a woman she calls "The One" who would not come out to her family or marry Risa. Risa is now focused on being a rock star. She is truly ride or die for her friends, but does not have much time for their nonsense. When she stages an intervention for Sharita due to her posting too much about Jesus on Facebook and going to church three times a week I was laughing so hard I started to cry.

The weak spot in this book was Tammy though. Although this book is about four supposed best friends, Tammy was barely in it. You find out why later on though, but for most of the book I was wondering.

The secondary characters are very good in this one. We have Sharita's lame ass boyfriend, Thursday's lame ass boyfriend, Risa seducing people to get a chance to go on tour, etc. Everyone felt very well drawn.

The writing had me cracking up in parts. The dialogue reminded me of how it sounds when my friends and I get together.

The ending I found a little too pat though. Still very enjoyable!

[Nakia · Rating 4 out of 5]

More like 4.5 stars. A wonderful, hilarious book about friendship and the twists and turns of love. So happy I finally finished this book. Ernessa T. Carter is a gem. I hope she comes back with more novels that feature a diverse array of Black women in fun, dramatic, entertaining situations (there was a point midway throhugh when I had to put the book down for 20 minutes because it was too much for my poor heart to handle). Somebody do us a solid and make this into a mini-series (not a movie because too much happens). If done right, ratings would be sky high, like Scandal and Being Mary Jane, because women like me would be ready for it every night with a glass of wine, and a whole lot of "Girl, what?!" through out each episode.

[Cassie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I did enjoy this book, don't get me wrong, but I found this book extremely hard to get into. Each of the main characters had a chapter every month which made it so slow. I didn't start enjoying it until quite far through when the characters stories started to fit together. But when they did I thought it was entertaining. If the story was quicker to get into I would have rated it higher.

[Yasmin]

I'm still thinking about my rating for Awesome Girl's Guide; it will either be 3.5 or 4.0 stars. Awesome Girl's probably fits in the chick-lit genre. The storyline is about four friends, college-educated, professional women (for the most part) who are still single and working hard for the money by day while searching for Mr. or Ms. Right by night. Each of the characters is struggling with her own demons and issues which all come tumbling together during the storyline. I enjoyed that Carter wrote the story realistically, with believable situations and characters and the drama didn't seem sensational. For the most part, I can say that many of us know women like the characters in this book. We all have friends who do things we love to hate, who can be over the top, leave us hanging high and dry when they get a new man and are just too holier than thou sometimes for their own good. And then there's the family members who we have to keep up appearances for appearances sake or our purses open like ATM machines ('ain't nobody got time for that"). Although the storyline ending was predictable, Carter's writing style is so engaging and storytelling so on point that the happy endings (for the most part) didn't keep me from enjoying the book.

[Jachynk. Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good Black girl chick lit is rare. This book was delicious book candy.

[SheBeC · Rating 5 out of 5]

Why did it take me so long to find out Ernessa Carter had a second book😩?!!?

I thoroughly enjoyed the storyline and characters but the bonus chapter of Miss Missy sealed the deal…what a beautifully heartbreaking story that was.

[Mahoghani 23 · Rating 5 out of 5]

The only things that Sharita, Thursday, Risa, and Tammy have in common are their disastrous love lives. But the year three of them turn 30 will be different, they swear!

Sharita, a plump and conservative accountant wants to make partner at her firm and find the man of her dreams. Thursday, the daughter of a formerly chart-topping political rapper, wants to stop being a serial one-month stander, and settle down into a stable life with a stable boyfriend. Risa, a skinny and audacious electronica punk rocker, wants to finally land an album deal, which she feels is the only way to win back the heart of her on-again of off-again closeted girlfriend. And after getting fired as the spokesmodel for her family’s hair company, sweet and gorgeous Tammy wants to prove that she has what it takes to make it on her own.

None of these women get what they want, but over the course of two years, they get exactly what they need. And that proves to be the best thing after all.

[Joshunda Sanders · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book might be my favorite sister-girl romance since Waiting to Exhale.
Yes, it's been that long.
Bonus points for original characters - a rock star who rides a Harley, a comedian, a wealthy woman with a terminal disease and an anal accountant - along with the heartwarming and true to life drama/comedy that comes with relationship love and sister love. It was a joy to read. Fun and funny. Just the right amount of sap. Refreshing to see queer characters mixed with heterosexual ones in a real way that doesn't harp on sexual preference or division but treats all love as complicated and beautiful.
The relationship advice was also interesting - especially at the end.

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Um, this is actually better than 32 Candles! Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed reading Ernessa T. Carter’s debut novel, but after reading a dissenting review I took another look at the story, and discovered that as entertaining as it was, there were glaring flaws, too many unnatural coincidences, and outlandish craziness that didn't hold up well on a second reading. So when I heard that Carter had written a new book and that some of the characters from 32 Candles would make appearances in it, I was a bit apprehensive. Scoping the reviews from Amazon to GR also didn't put me at ease as at the time they were all 5 stars. That had to be some promotional trick. Some author making her friends write glowing reviews. So when I saw Kindle's Lending Library had this up for a free read, I decided to see if the 5 stars were really warranted and if Carter could entertain me a second time out.

Awesome Girl’s Guide To Dating Extraordinary Men isn't a 5-star book, but Carter writes with such clarity, heart, adding in dollops of humorous flair every now and then, that it's nothing short of great, and I’ll repeat: it’s MILES better than 32 Candles. It’s the sorta-kinda-sequel to it, but the characters from that one don’t play too much into it, except Tammy Farrell gets a more prominent role (and its utilized to the fullest).

The beginning begins a little slow and lo ho the cursing gets a bit too much (and this is coming for someone who curses more than a Goodfella) but when things get rolling, boy do they roll, and I got swept up in the lives of wandering nearing 30-year-olds Thursday, Sharita, Tammy, and Risa, who all by book's end have a year that they will never forget.

Out of the four, I really enjoyed Sharita’s path the most. I just adored her journey to finding true love as it blossomed so honestly (and who wouldn't want to end up with an Irish guy who owns a freaking castle?!). Risa was a lot of fun and hooray! for a lesbian character that is written with some intelligence. Her cursing did get a little out of hand to force the fact that she was a salty rocker, but the pay-off is Risa's interactions with Tammy (and we discover a BIG and satisfying secret there). I got the impression Thursday was the 'leader' of the story and of her friends, and she had "main character" syndrome which means she's dulled down to where the supporting characters are given more flair. She was bristly, whiny, just not likable, but the riff she had with her famous rapper father were the best confessionals concerning her character.

The part that truly gets the 5 stars and where Carter turns the "chick-lit" (gawd, I hate that term) trope on its head is when we get the storyline about Tammy and her getting diagnosed with cancer. Her struggle and how Risa, Thursday and Sharita cope with it was just fantastically written. Also Tammy's death is approached with such respect and realism that it is beautiful to read. If this sounds morbid, so be it, but Tammy's passing was one of the best death scenes I've read in a book. It's perfect.

To top it, the friendship that Carter mapped out between these four women was exceptional. The book is kind of lying with its title. This really isn't about "dating men". This story is about the friendship between four diverse women and how they trek through the hills and valleys together and apart. It's about the responsibility of friendship, and the care and keeping of it and how that bond is tested when tornadoes of reality come ripping into it. Men are dated, sure, but unlike like most "chick-lit" fiction, the men featured here aren't the goal --- personal fulfillment is. The book's heart beats to how these women interact with each other and how they find themselves.

This book reminded me so much of the three close friends I had in college. How we were there for each other during some real personal rough patches, reached important milestones together, and how by the end of our time in college we, sadly, grew apart. The book also goes on the same pattern as it implies towards the end that these women's lives after their "big year" would ultimately disperse. Still like my friendship circle from college, Carter's women were forever changed by the friendship they shared and gives hope that these women can come together again. I really admire Carter for taking the story to that place, that we get the full circle, because friendship stories that are designed so vividly and honestly like this happen so rare in fiction.

Also bonus points for this being a story simply about Black women and how they deal with their lives. This type of three-dimensional literary care is rarely done, if not ever done in concerns to women of color. Reality shows and age-old stereotypes often have you believe that Black women do not get along. That we are catty loud-mouths who like throwing things, rolling our necks, saving White people with "our magic", and that we are always in a constant state of argument, bitterness, and foolery. True, a lot of us can roar pretty loud. I raise my hand to admittance because my Dad tells me to 'lower the volume' at least twice a day with me, but! our toughness and brashness always overshadows the fact that we are human, that we have weaknesses and are sensitive and deal with the same issues of love, loss, friendship, illness, and family as other women outside of our race do.

This book really does humanize Black women more than a lot of other contemporary fiction books I've come across. There is so much junk out there for contemporary Black women's fiction that this book was just a breath of fresh air to snuggle into. If I had the power and the means, I'd try to get this made into a film, because women of color need these kinds of heart-warming stories to where if one closed their eyes and just listened, we wouldn't see color --- we'd hear and feel a person.

For that, this book really and truly is awesome.

[Melanee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another fantastic read!

[Dianna Nicolas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very entertaining! Each woman I felt like I could relate to. Thursday and her crazy quirky self. Sharita and her thoughts on love. Risa and her "one" and Tammy not realizing she has a voice till the end. Another great book, well written and just overall feel good book!!

[Miriam]

I read this book for bad reasons. I read it because (1) it was the free Samsung book of the month; (2) I was feeling lazy and relaxed and wanted to read something easy, and this is so clearly chick lit; (3) I was mildly curious about the cultural elements of a book about four black American girlfriends, since being a white Australian in Australia, I've never had a black American girlfriend; and no, it didn't escape my notice that one of the central characters is a lesbian.

So here we all were. It was most of the things it promised to be: free, easy to read, and with an intriguing lesbian relationship. There were a couple of nuggets about 'black love' which I found pretty interesting - two of the characters having opposing views about whether they wanted to date someone who was also black. I have a friend who has talked before about not wanting to date men from her ethnic background because of certain cultural gender dynamics, while at the same time not really wanting to date certain types of white men who seek out people of her ethnicity. I would be interested to explore that topic further because it really is a can of worms. There are things you can pretty easily miss as a white person in an Anglo-dominant culture.

Anyway, I'll say that this book did the trick, so thumbs up for that. But by no means is it a masterpiece. I guess the biggest problem for me was believing in the characters. Even though their stories were told in the first person, I could feel myself sitting up above them and I knew they were all on strings. They behaved in ways that were clearly foolish and oblivious (Sharita's interactions with crappy boyfriends, for example) and it was impossible to see things from their perspective. Sharita's boyfriend was so clearly a user, I couldn't believe she didn't walk away immediately. I could have believed it, had Sharita's voice and perspective been strong enough, but I could hear the author's voice over the top, manipulating the character to speak and behave as required.

Risa's behaviours and choices were also awkwardly false. Maybe it's because I read this book with the expectation of lesbianity, but I identified 'The One' almost as soon as I started reading. It didn't make any relationship sense, and I didn't really believe it, but I knew that that's what the author wanted from the characters, so I knew it was coming.

Thursday's relationships with her father and mother were the most meaningful aspects of this story. I felt like that was the real story here, and the other plots were woven around it to make it seem bigger and more complex. But I would say to the author - don't be afraid of simplicity. Thursday is clearly the most well-realised character here, and her values, beliefs and personal narratives are the only ones genuinely challenged in this novel. We can all relate, in some way, to the transformation of her perception about her parents. Hers is the true passage from 20s to 30s, and to be honest, she's the only person who I believed enough to care about.

A ***SPOILER*** side note/pro-tip for the author (and other writers out there) - try not to tragically kill your lesbian characters if you can help it, all right? There's a boycott on.

[M R · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book on a 15+ hour flight to Hong Kong and I couldn't put it down! I read this book in one sitting (literally) and it kept me interested the entire time. At first I thought it was stilted that there were four protagonists introduced, but the book only focused on three until the big reveal and it all made sense. I thought this was a fun and engaging read and came across very real to me which I appreciated. I always appreciate reading books about Black women friendships and I also appreciated that there was a queer character because we come in all races, shapes and sizes. I'm writing this review a little after I finished the book so my review isn't as thorough as they normally are because I just can't quite remember all the little bits that I loved so much with a 10 day vacation + back to work in between. I'm glad to have read another book by Ernessa T. Carter because I also enjoyed 32 Candles and liked that this brought some of those characters to life here in a different way.

[Shannon · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Awesome Girl's Guide to Dating Extraordinary Men follows the lives of three best friends over the course of two years. During this time they each grow as people and learn important life lessons. I thought the book was very interesting and contained valuable information about growing up. My biggest objection to the book was its length. It was over 430 pages and the book was formatted so that each of the three narrative characters got one chapter per month. I felt that this caused the book to be very slow going and choppy. Because of the subject of the novel, I expected a book around 200 pages that I could easily read in a day. But the plot was too dense to be able to do that. Overall, I enjoyed the book and liked growing along with the three main characters.

[rebekah · Rating 4 out of 5]

A few years ago I discovered Carter's 32 Candles and I couldn't go on enough about how much I loved that book to anyone who would listen. The Awesome Girl's Guide is a sequel to that sweet ass book and I loved it! It's chick lit but it's about black women that went to Smith! DO I NEED TO SAY ANYMORE REALLY? A fun quick read that I actually read on my phone kindle and it simply flew by, I couldn't believe it was 436 pages. Can't wait till the next book AND THERE BETTER BE A NEXT BOOK. In the meantime, I am re reading 32 Candles and if you haven't read that and you like this sort of thing, you should read it too. It's librarian approved. By me of course.

[Michelle Sallay · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ernessa T. Carter's writing is so good. That is what kept me reading as I started this, because I had a really hard time getting into this. It jumps around four girlfriends, and it has a ton of annoying (but soon to make sense) back story to wade through before anything actually happens.

But then suddenly I was so into this and involved in the lives of these women and I have to say there were some actual surprises in here that really made this book shine. It was long too, but not in a bad way. It took me a really long time to read this, but I enjoyed it. It made me want to pick up the author's first book 32 Candles that I remember really enjoying as well.

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars. I picked this up because, well, I'm white, and I wanted to read something a little different. It was eye-opening in many ways -- I couldn't put it down. The story itself was excellent; a true story of sisterhood above all things. The storytelling left something to be desired. I wasn't comfortable with the writing style, and the multiple points of view were confusing, as different POVs often are. I would, however, be open to reading more by this author if it were more of a true one-person narrative.

[Lindor Joelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were several great themes in this novel that anyone can relate to and benefit from. At over 400 pages I think that it was a little "over written" in spots.

I didn't start to get into this one until it was halfway through, but at that point I did begin to connect to the characters and really started to get excited about reading.

I'd recommend this story to anyone who loves "chick-lit" and "girlfriend" stories.

[Charlotte-Marie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Always a joy to read the books of Ernessa T. Carter. She never seems to rush through her storytelling. By the time the book is over I know each character very well - not in the sense of being exhausted - because she gives a definitive portrait of each character that is not tiring.

I have to admit, this book began a little slowly for me. However, it soon picked up and kept up the pace that keeps me as a reader engaged.

[Anika · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I enjoyed reading the women's take on life, love and friendships. This book was funny, inspiring, exciting and made me intrigued to read all the way to the end to find out what happened to each lady - especially since I'm approaching the "30" mark this book was especially interesting.

[Continualknowledge · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was slow going at first but then the writing clicked, the characters gelled and the story became a Carter original, set in a chick lit genre. I will admit it took me a while but that is my own bias to chick lit friends and formula and obvious drama. The fictional self-help book was a great juxtaposition to the book.

[Tzippy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Carter's books are chick lit for people who hate chick lit. They're the antidote to all the stereotypes, the clichés, the shallow fluff, the misogyny, the badly-structured storylines that permeate the genre.

Dear Author, please write more. I'll buy it all.

[Fareeda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book. I like friendship books, but not a fan of love story books. This was a mix of both. Nicely written though.

[Coffee&Books · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent. I always know a book is really good when I see it played out like a movie in my head.

[Kameron Dollgener · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing!

It started out slow but I loved it in the end. It had every emotion there is in it. The way you got to know every character was awesome.

[Aisha · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was lovely. I read it in almost one sitting, I teared up a few times.
Super loved this book. Would sacrifice any of my siblings for another ernessa t Carter book lol.

[Tawanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cute book!

[Dana · Rating 4 out of 5]

more like 4.5.

[Ari · Rating 5 out of 5]

IQ "Sometimes opposites attract. But if you meet one of these 'opposite; couples who have been together for a while, and dig a little deeper, you'll find two people that may not look or act like, but have the important things in common." Davie, 334

I love love love Ernessa T. Carter, her second novel was just as wonderful as I imagined and I can't stop grinning. Yes I can see how it's a little long but I stayed up till 4 am absolutely flying through the tale of these friends. And while I wish the title was different (merely because I can see how it'd be a turn off to some less adventurous readers and that's a shame) and the cover stronger, these are all very small grievances. At first I was prepared to write about how Tammy was underutilized and didn't bring much to the story but then POW Carter brings her back into the narrative in a major way I didn't see coming. I have always loved Carter's ability to write dialogue and make her characters practically jump from the pages with life, I could easily see myself sitting with these women at brunch (in particular rolling my eyes at Sharita). Carter also brings back many of our beloved characters from 32 Candles and except for James their cameos felt just right/helped the narrative along.

Carter manages to portray relationship issues through each of her character without moralizing or having Thursday serve as an overbearing narrator. Each of the friends does something where they're clearly in the wrong and there's quite a few moments that will likely have you wincing with awkward familiarity. Furthermore she naturally explores the backstory of each of these women and we're able to see how they were shaped to become the women they are throughout most of the novel. Additionally having Risa be an open sexually confident lesbian was kick ass and added something I'm not sure I would even realized was missing but made the story 10000x better. For all those who are able to figure out who The One is, props to you because I was taken by complete surprise. The dating rules are also the perfect complement to the story, especially the last one.

This is a throughly enjoyable, and dare I say, priceless read that had me laughing out loud many a time while also nodding my head in recognition of certain character actions or situations. Absolutely vivacious and it deserves to be a limited TV series. We need it on our screens. I also now think between Carter's work and Insecure I know way too much about LA men and will never move.