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I Just Want to Pee Alone: A Collection of Humorous Essays by Kick Ass Mom Bloggers
Motherhood is the toughest – and funniest – job you'll ever love. Raising kids is hard work. The pay sucks, your boss is a tyrant, and the working conditions are pitiful – you can't even take a bathroom break without being interrupted with another outrageous demand. Hasn't every mother said it before? “I just want to pee alone!” I Just Want to Pee Alone is a collection of hilarious essays from 37 of the most kick ass mom bloggers on the web. Including: People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Insane in the Mom-Brain, The Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva, Baby Sideburns, and Rants From Mommyland. Read hysterical essays like: Embarrassment, Thy Name is Motherhood A Pinterest-Perfect Mom, I am Not And Then There was that Time a Priest Called Me a Terrible Mother So She Thought She Could Cut Off My Stroller
205 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2013
312 people are currently reading
4908 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 232 reviews
January 8, 2017
A week ago, I didn't even know this book existed. Now, I have a brand new go-to gift for all of the moms.
I desperately needed this when, 11 years ago, I brought a teeny human being home. In spite of reading every single recommended parenting book, I was unabashedly unprepared when faced with the reality. While I probably would have carried this book with me until it was dog-eared in the beginning; there were still plenty of situations that made me feel like I am in good company today and even a sneak peek or two into the future.
I laughed. A lot. And I felt so much better about myself as the person I am, not just as a parental unit.
I desperately needed this when, 11 years ago, I brought a teeny human being home. In spite of reading every single recommended parenting book, I was unabashedly unprepared when faced with the reality. While I probably would have carried this book with me until it was dog-eared in the beginning; there were still plenty of situations that made me feel like I am in good company today and even a sneak peek or two into the future.
I laughed. A lot. And I felt so much better about myself as the person I am, not just as a parental unit.
April 11, 2013
i don't know. this was all right. it was a pleasant enough way to pass an airplane ride with a baby passed out on my chest. it's an anthology of humorous essays about parenting from various mom bloggers. it suffers from the problem that a lot of blogs-into-books suffer from: a lot of the writing has a very casual "you know what i'm saying"-type vibe to it that comes from the bloggers writing for an audience that is offering them constant real-time feedback in the form of blog comments. it's a style that translates very poorly to real books. because i, for one, have only ever read one of the bloggers featured here (rants from mommyland) & i don't even follow that one on the regular. the only blogs i read are either written by zine people i know or are snarks of YA books i read as a child. i should probably add more mom blogs to my blog roll, because i do enjoy embarrassing parenting stories & i'm a mom now, but i just haven't gotten around to it & i've been burned the few times i have tried (like the time my favorite infertility blogger posted an insane screed against abortion).
i have no idea how many of the "essays" in this book (i use that term very loosely) were originally published as blog entries. all of them? it seems likely.
maybe in homage to the book's title, it seems like almost all of them were about embarrassing bathroom-related things. my baby is only four months old, so she is not yet capable of walking in on me in the bathroom or saying embarrassing things about me to strangers. is this really what i have to look forward to? i don't remember ever walking in on my mom in the bathroom. hmmm. we will see. the first few stories in this vein perhaps elicited a chuckle or two, but it got kind of tedious after a while. eventually i was thinking, "um, invest in a lock." is this hubris that will come back to haunt me? check back in about three years.
but for a mom without a lot of time to read, & without a lot of mental energy to put into reading anything too involved, feeling desperate to commiserate with other parents about some of the unexpected indignities of parenthood, this may not be a bad choice. there are probably funnier, more original parenting memoirs out there, but this is the one i happened to read most recently. *shrug*
i have no idea how many of the "essays" in this book (i use that term very loosely) were originally published as blog entries. all of them? it seems likely.
maybe in homage to the book's title, it seems like almost all of them were about embarrassing bathroom-related things. my baby is only four months old, so she is not yet capable of walking in on me in the bathroom or saying embarrassing things about me to strangers. is this really what i have to look forward to? i don't remember ever walking in on my mom in the bathroom. hmmm. we will see. the first few stories in this vein perhaps elicited a chuckle or two, but it got kind of tedious after a while. eventually i was thinking, "um, invest in a lock." is this hubris that will come back to haunt me? check back in about three years.
but for a mom without a lot of time to read, & without a lot of mental energy to put into reading anything too involved, feeling desperate to commiserate with other parents about some of the unexpected indignities of parenthood, this may not be a bad choice. there are probably funnier, more original parenting memoirs out there, but this is the one i happened to read most recently. *shrug*
March 19, 2013
I was given “I Just Want to Pee Alone” with the promise that I would (1) read it and (2) review it. Obviously this is not an issue for me … I love to read and well love to give my opinion more. So here is my take … Why oh why did it take so long for someone to write this book? Well someoneS … a group of kick ass women who are just like you and me got together and with their wit and sense of humor and brought to the pages what we all think every day of motherhood. Sometimes motherhood is horrific, scary and poopy (literally), but it is guaranteed that every day of motherhood is a challenge and the most amazing gift we can have.
I am a mom that has wanted to be a mom since I was 2 years old. I am also the mom that was told she could never have children of her own. I beat the odds but know in my heart it didn’t matter because I was blessed with the best kid I didn’t give birth to and I would have moved heaven and earth to find my child, regardless where he/she came from. Thankfully for me he came from my loins so I get to hold that over his head for eternity.
If you have ever had a moment that you stared at yourself in the mirror acknowledging that you have worn the same stained/puked on shirt for 3 days straight, you can’t remember the last time you sat down and ate a hot meal, you don’t think the person you are staring at can possibly be you … this is the book for you. It is your sisterhood. It is important to find the humor in every aspect of parenthood and these ladies make sure you do that.
Forget “What to Expect When You Are Expecting” … this is the book to give expecting mommies … this is the holy grail for motherhood and should be treated as such.
I am a mom that has wanted to be a mom since I was 2 years old. I am also the mom that was told she could never have children of her own. I beat the odds but know in my heart it didn’t matter because I was blessed with the best kid I didn’t give birth to and I would have moved heaven and earth to find my child, regardless where he/she came from. Thankfully for me he came from my loins so I get to hold that over his head for eternity.
If you have ever had a moment that you stared at yourself in the mirror acknowledging that you have worn the same stained/puked on shirt for 3 days straight, you can’t remember the last time you sat down and ate a hot meal, you don’t think the person you are staring at can possibly be you … this is the book for you. It is your sisterhood. It is important to find the humor in every aspect of parenthood and these ladies make sure you do that.
Forget “What to Expect When You Are Expecting” … this is the book to give expecting mommies … this is the holy grail for motherhood and should be treated as such.
May 22, 2013
Ok... easy, funny read BUT do not read if you are planning to have children at any time in your life! BUT do read after you have given birth...
If you read before pregnancy, you may never want to have children, ever.
If you read after your little one(s) are born, you will feel like you are a very normal mom, with wicked, humorous thoughts about your children, spouse and of course, what your body has turned into.
Grab a glass of wine and enjoy - not high literature but some of these blogs are hilarious, some you can skip over because unfortunately, just a few, spend their precious times basically complaining (word of caution... today's mom's are not afraid to use "colorful" language - this is definitely not for the prim and proper... come to think of it, the prim and proper wouldn't understand the humor anyway).
Just a plug: Susan McLean's piece (Divine Secrets of the Domestic Diva) is worth the purchase, and we can say that because she's our niece!!
If you read before pregnancy, you may never want to have children, ever.
If you read after your little one(s) are born, you will feel like you are a very normal mom, with wicked, humorous thoughts about your children, spouse and of course, what your body has turned into.
Grab a glass of wine and enjoy - not high literature but some of these blogs are hilarious, some you can skip over because unfortunately, just a few, spend their precious times basically complaining (word of caution... today's mom's are not afraid to use "colorful" language - this is definitely not for the prim and proper... come to think of it, the prim and proper wouldn't understand the humor anyway).
Just a plug: Susan McLean's piece (Divine Secrets of the Domestic Diva) is worth the purchase, and we can say that because she's our niece!!
February 27, 2020
Being honest here--read every blogger in this book and some are a one star and some are a four. Meredith Spidel is definitely one of the best of the bunch. But, here's my problem with blogging--it's not the same as writing. It can be like a diary, like talking to a friend, like being a stand-up comic, but it is not the same as writing a book. I love the authors who use good grammar and who have sense in their chapter, but some of the completely unnecessary profanity and randomness of thoughts make this tough to read. I still believe to this day that the best readers don't need to be vulgar--make us feel the same way but by using descriptive words! I would give it a three, but will give a four to keep high ratings, hoping more of them will sell and mean success to all these mommies. But this is not a four star book in the true sense :)
March 26, 2013
See my review here!
http://www.cottonfloozy.com/2013/03/i...
http://www.cottonfloozy.com/2013/03/i...
October 26, 2014
Disappointing. The title was so promising but it read like any run-of-the mill mommy blogger stuff - kids are too much work (but I love them anyway) and do silly things, husband is aggravating (but I love him anyway) and the forces of the world make my mommy life tricky (but I feel so lucky to be a mommy anyway).
One of the beautiful things about the Internet is that it is possible to read gut busting funny stuff out there - every day - whenever you have the time to click over to your favourite sites, and there is a real pleasure in finding something new to treasure. This book didn't provide me anything to treasure or actually laugh about and only one or two entries seemed to be edited very well or written by someone who had strong writing skills.
I like the idea of celebrating what is difficult about parenting. I like finding humour in what can be one of the darkest but most rewarding parts of life - yikes, parenting - but it wasn't in this book. I'll keep returning to my favourites on the web and hope for better. One star for these writers just for being out there.
One of the beautiful things about the Internet is that it is possible to read gut busting funny stuff out there - every day - whenever you have the time to click over to your favourite sites, and there is a real pleasure in finding something new to treasure. This book didn't provide me anything to treasure or actually laugh about and only one or two entries seemed to be edited very well or written by someone who had strong writing skills.
I like the idea of celebrating what is difficult about parenting. I like finding humour in what can be one of the darkest but most rewarding parts of life - yikes, parenting - but it wasn't in this book. I'll keep returning to my favourites on the web and hope for better. One star for these writers just for being out there.
April 11, 2013
This book was "laugh out loud" funny in many places. I really enjoyed the collection of essays and found it was perfect for a busy mom as I could read an essay a day when things were hectic (When are things not hectic, anyway?). It's very hard to pick a favorite essay so I won't. Yes, there was some swearing and lots of talk of body parts and all things motherhood but nothing offended me. Moms are used to dealing with all this stuff. I highly recommend this book for a good laugh! Page 39 is special because my friend wrote the essay, "A Cougar is Born". My friend is the author of the Underachiever's Guide to Being a Domestic Goddess and I am so proud of her. She is a talented writer as are many of the other ladies in this book! I'll just leave you with one thought. I am the president of the Elite Grocery Moms Club now and I love it! To find out about that club you will have to read the book!!!!
January 30, 2016
I have had this on my Kindle app on my phone for the last 6 months and would read a bit of it when I had a few minutes and needed something to read. As the title says, this is a collection of essays by mom bloggers, so you can read a few at a time and put it down and pick it up later. Some really were funny. But as a mom myself, who has experienced many of the topics covered, I am actually starting to get a little tired of the cliched aspects of the genre. (Your husband does moronic stuff, your kids say/do embarrassing things, you haven't had time alone in forever, you like to say "fuck" a lot"). Don't get me wrong, I have experienced all of those things and do like to break out "fuck" myself when needed, but maybe reading so very many of them in one collection wore me down. They seemed at times forced. Little disappointed.
March 21, 2015
Some of these were really funny, even if you aren't a mom. If you're a mom, some are hysterical. They will have you laughing until you pee your pants (which is a lot easier to do once you've a kid or two!). Others are mildly funny, but overall it is a lighthearted book that is quite entertaining.
February 19, 2015
Very funny...I definitely saw similarities with my motherhood experiences
February 3, 2022
Eh. Not really funny at all and seems to be trying too hard. Really specifically 2012 feeling
January 7, 2017
There isn't much to say about this book, everyone should have a pretty clear idea of what they're getting based on the description. It was a light read that came along with perfect timing; it was given to me for Christmas and I read it while attempting to put my house back together after the kids returned to school after the holiday break.
It's a pet peeve of mine when bloggers write books and basically charge for a regurgitation of what I could've read for free on the Internet so I'm happy to report that that is NOT the case with this book. I don't read most of these blogs but the essays included by the bloggers I do follow were new, which was very nice and well-appreciated.
A few things I noted:
--When Patti Ford said her experience giving birth could be summed up in seven words, "My hospital room had to be repainted", and left it to the reader's imagination as to how that would even happen...wow. I'm horrified yet intrigued.
--"If I have learned one thing in my motherhood journey thus far, it is this: There is no greater awkwardness in all the world than standing idly by as your mother-in-law compares the vaginal lubricant that you use with her son to the one she uses herself, trying to determine which one will work better on your five-year-old's rear end" (from the essay by Stephanie Giese) is a pretty spectacular out-of-context quote.
--"Because I'm the Vagina Boss, That's Why" (by Brenna Jennings) wins best essay title.
A Few Quotes from the Book
"Sometimes it's just best not to be home alone with a child who was seemingly sent to this earth for the sole purpose of finding your breaking point. Every now and again you honestly need the prying eyes of the public so that you don't duct tape your spawn to the ceiling fan, in the hopes that it "gently" lulls them to sleep." ~ Patti Ford
"Here's another thing to keep in mind...every other girl at the table went through something very similar to get out of the house for this little get together so they aren't going to notice any imperfections, because they are too worried about their own appearance to even care." ~ Andrea
"When you start to feel like you have failed, like you have completely messed up as a parent, take a long look at that little human that you made. YOU made a person. While the road to get there may have been rough, and at times even unbearable, YOU made a PERSON." ~ Tara
"So just indulge me for a minute. It has been a long week. (Wait, it's Monday? WTF?) ~ Kim Forde
Find all my reviews at: http://readingatrandom.blogspot.com
It's a pet peeve of mine when bloggers write books and basically charge for a regurgitation of what I could've read for free on the Internet so I'm happy to report that that is NOT the case with this book. I don't read most of these blogs but the essays included by the bloggers I do follow were new, which was very nice and well-appreciated.
A few things I noted:
--When Patti Ford said her experience giving birth could be summed up in seven words, "My hospital room had to be repainted", and left it to the reader's imagination as to how that would even happen...wow. I'm horrified yet intrigued.
--"If I have learned one thing in my motherhood journey thus far, it is this: There is no greater awkwardness in all the world than standing idly by as your mother-in-law compares the vaginal lubricant that you use with her son to the one she uses herself, trying to determine which one will work better on your five-year-old's rear end" (from the essay by Stephanie Giese) is a pretty spectacular out-of-context quote.
--"Because I'm the Vagina Boss, That's Why" (by Brenna Jennings) wins best essay title.
A Few Quotes from the Book
"Sometimes it's just best not to be home alone with a child who was seemingly sent to this earth for the sole purpose of finding your breaking point. Every now and again you honestly need the prying eyes of the public so that you don't duct tape your spawn to the ceiling fan, in the hopes that it "gently" lulls them to sleep." ~ Patti Ford
"Here's another thing to keep in mind...every other girl at the table went through something very similar to get out of the house for this little get together so they aren't going to notice any imperfections, because they are too worried about their own appearance to even care." ~ Andrea
"When you start to feel like you have failed, like you have completely messed up as a parent, take a long look at that little human that you made. YOU made a person. While the road to get there may have been rough, and at times even unbearable, YOU made a PERSON." ~ Tara
"So just indulge me for a minute. It has been a long week. (Wait, it's Monday? WTF?) ~ Kim Forde
Find all my reviews at: http://readingatrandom.blogspot.com
January 13, 2015
I actually heard about this book in one of my groups on facebook. And when I saw the title I knew I had to go and see the hype. As I was looking about on who all the authors were I knew at least two of the blogs The divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva and Rants From Mommyland. I knew that them two automatically had to be funny.
So I went ahead bought the book and dove right into it. From the beginning I literally was laughing so hard that I had to stop reading. I would repeat the story to my husband and he would just be like oh okay. I found a majority of the stories hilarious, I could relate to some of them in one way or another. Now there were a few of the stories being told that I just was like umm what? I didn't get entertained, I felt that maybe the book could have done without a few. I think in total it was like 3 or 4 that I didn't enjoy. But hey to each their own.
I really liked where it was said that it takes a village to raise a child especially with humor. And I have learned as a mother that it does and you have to have humor with raising children or you will go crazy and want to curl up and cry,
If you need a short pick me up a laugh from other moms. Then I suggest you get this book. I will be recommending this book to a lot of my mother friends.
So I went ahead bought the book and dove right into it. From the beginning I literally was laughing so hard that I had to stop reading. I would repeat the story to my husband and he would just be like oh okay. I found a majority of the stories hilarious, I could relate to some of them in one way or another. Now there were a few of the stories being told that I just was like umm what? I didn't get entertained, I felt that maybe the book could have done without a few. I think in total it was like 3 or 4 that I didn't enjoy. But hey to each their own.
I really liked where it was said that it takes a village to raise a child especially with humor. And I have learned as a mother that it does and you have to have humor with raising children or you will go crazy and want to curl up and cry,
If you need a short pick me up a laugh from other moms. Then I suggest you get this book. I will be recommending this book to a lot of my mother friends.
May 11, 2013
Background: This anthology is brought to you by a vast array of mom-bloggers who are awesome enough to share their stories and troubles of parenting with the world.
Review: I have to say that I am not a parent, but this book was really insightful. These moms are hilarious, entertaining, and educational in their short stories about their parenting lives...and I do mean all parts of parenting. From baby birthing stories, to woman doctor visits, how to live with young kids and how to keep your sanity. I really enjoyed reading theses stories and feel like I have learned a lot from these moms. I am not ready to be a parent but I feel like having the opportunity to hear their voices will make me a better parent...hm no...a better prepared parent down the line.
If you are a parent, read this book. If you aren't but want to be someday...read this book. If you just want something light to laugh at...read this book. Are you seeing the trend? I hope so, go read it:) Happy Mother's day weekend!
Review: I have to say that I am not a parent, but this book was really insightful. These moms are hilarious, entertaining, and educational in their short stories about their parenting lives...and I do mean all parts of parenting. From baby birthing stories, to woman doctor visits, how to live with young kids and how to keep your sanity. I really enjoyed reading theses stories and feel like I have learned a lot from these moms. I am not ready to be a parent but I feel like having the opportunity to hear their voices will make me a better parent...hm no...a better prepared parent down the line.
If you are a parent, read this book. If you aren't but want to be someday...read this book. If you just want something light to laugh at...read this book. Are you seeing the trend? I hope so, go read it:) Happy Mother's day weekend!
July 26, 2016
If you're a mom or a mom-to-be, this is a hilarious collection of short stories about motherhood. Each mom blogger brings a very dynamic, honest, heartfelt and downright funny moments of motherhood. From the challenges of sleepless nights with a newborn, the constant battle with a teenager keeping their room clean, to becoming their mothers, these moms have covered it all, the good, the bad and the ugly. Things you might not have ever thought would happen to you...until it does.
I think this would make a great gift for any mom or mom-to-be with a sense of humor. Or perhaps for a woman who has not decided whether to have kids, this book could very well be birth control. It will certainly stir up interesting conversations!This review was originally posted on Mom's Small Victories
I think this would make a great gift for any mom or mom-to-be with a sense of humor. Or perhaps for a woman who has not decided whether to have kids, this book could very well be birth control. It will certainly stir up interesting conversations!This review was originally posted on Mom's Small Victories
November 8, 2013
The authors accomplished what they set out to do...connect with ordinary mothers...and fathers (but mostly mothers) to let them know that they are all going through similar trials. The stories may be different but the lessons are the same, prepare to give up everything, prepare to be embarrassed and tested beyond your wildest imaginations. Prepare to love these children more than you ever thought possible. You will laugh out loud and think of the things that your little one(s) have done.
I have heard my wife say similar things to the title of this book and so I knew it would connect with her. She is reading it now as well and laughing in most of the same places. Everybody likes to hear a good and funny story and there are dozens in this book. Laugh along with them.
I have heard my wife say similar things to the title of this book and so I knew it would connect with her. She is reading it now as well and laughing in most of the same places. Everybody likes to hear a good and funny story and there are dozens in this book. Laugh along with them.
November 8, 2013
A very funny collection of essays about the insanity of being a parent.
I liked the little descriptions of each blogger who contributed, as well as their essays, and how the general tone was non-competitive, supportive, and dramatic. It felt like hearing stories from a friend or stories I tell on myself, with only *slight* exaggeration for effect. I loved this book. I read it yesterday and my face still hurts today from laughing so hard!
I liked the little descriptions of each blogger who contributed, as well as their essays, and how the general tone was non-competitive, supportive, and dramatic. It felt like hearing stories from a friend or stories I tell on myself, with only *slight* exaggeration for effect. I loved this book. I read it yesterday and my face still hurts today from laughing so hard!
March 11, 2013
So funny! It's like the best of each contributor's work. I would recommend this book to all moms---if you're not a parent you may not get some of the humor, but as mother to a toddler I found it hilarious!
September 1, 2013
This book is hilarious for moms! I could totally relate to some stories, but others were just as funny since I could imagine these situations happening. As long as you don't mind the language, it is a hoot!!!
March 14, 2013
Hilarious! If you're a parent and have a raunchy sense of humor - read this book!
August 31, 2013
Who doesn't?
This is a hilarious book from multiple "mommy bloggers" who tell it like it is-really honest and funny
This is a hilarious book from multiple "mommy bloggers" who tell it like it is-really honest and funny
September 30, 2013
Hilarious - a must read for any mom - you have been there ... And they will make you laugh at yourself :)
October 7, 2013
I loved this book, but that's probably because I could relate to 90%. A great read for moms who aren't 'perfect' and want to feel like someone out there understands then.
November 11, 2013
Quick and easy. You will find yourself laughing to tears from these essays. Such a good compilation! Definitely recommend to any mom having a bad day!
October 19, 2016
Full disclosure - one blogger is a personal friend. That being said, I thought this was a great set of stories - funny and relatable!
November 26, 2013
This should be mandatory reading for all moms or moms to be!
March 31, 2014
Haven't laughed out loud this much since I read Chelsea Handler!
September 13, 2018
Motherhood is easily the toughest, most rewarding, funniest job you'll ever love. The pay sucks, your boss is a tyrant, and the working conditions are terrible. You can't even take time to go to the bathroom without being interrupted! I think every mother has, at some point, said this: "I just want to pee alone!" I Just Want to Pee Alone is a collection of humorous essays from 37 of the most popular, funniest mom bloggers on the internet. Included are stories from the authors of People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Insane in the Mom Brain, The Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva, Baby Sideburns, and Rants from Mommyland. You'll find hilarious essays including: "Embarrassment, Thy Name is Motherhood," "A Pinterest-perfect Mom, I am Not", "Then There Was That Time a Priest Called Me a Terrible Mother", "So She Thought She Could Cut Off My Stroller," and more.
Honestly, the stories in this book are so relatable, so on point, and so funny. They tell stories about those mommy experiences where you just have to laugh, or you'll wind up crying. I think all of us have been there at some point. But, when you're in the thick of things, it often feels like you're the only mom who has ever felt this way. So, it helps to see that other moms are struggling too! And that they are able to see the humor in these situations, at some point, even if they couldn't necessarily at the moment. Being a parent is full of those moments that really are hilarious if you can take a moment to separate yourself from the unrealistic expectations of thinking you have to be perfect. This book would make a wonderful gift for new moms, or just your "sisters in the trenches." And, I'm so excited that there are more books now! I can't wait to read more!
Honestly, the stories in this book are so relatable, so on point, and so funny. They tell stories about those mommy experiences where you just have to laugh, or you'll wind up crying. I think all of us have been there at some point. But, when you're in the thick of things, it often feels like you're the only mom who has ever felt this way. So, it helps to see that other moms are struggling too! And that they are able to see the humor in these situations, at some point, even if they couldn't necessarily at the moment. Being a parent is full of those moments that really are hilarious if you can take a moment to separate yourself from the unrealistic expectations of thinking you have to be perfect. This book would make a wonderful gift for new moms, or just your "sisters in the trenches." And, I'm so excited that there are more books now! I can't wait to read more!
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