Lolly Scramble: A Memoir of Little Consequence

by Tony Martin

Comedian Tony Martin has strip-mined his often unremarkable life to tell sixteen small tales fraught with laughter and detail. Choosing to ignore his many dubious achievements in the world of Australian show business (Martin/Molloy, The Late Show, a short-lived but torrid affair with Sharon on Kath & Kim), New Zealand-born Martin instead recalls dozens of tiny life-changing moments that, frankly, could have happened to anybody.

In damning personal testimony spanning nearly forty years on both sides of the Tasman, Martin wreaks havoc as an apprentice props man in amateur theatre, attempts to corrupt his school’s ‘weird religious kid’, tries vainly to seduce an unwilling babysitter, turns an entire tour bus against him, battles an addiction to Donkey Kong, seeks to master the art of ‘kerning’ under the tutelage of a tyrannical Geordie, and is forced to donate an unfeasible amount of blood in an attempt to save his own life.

Lolly Scramble is a light but flavoursome assortment from a man who appears to have learnt very little from his many mistakes. Tuck right in, but don’t eat them all at once or you’ll spoil your dinner.

Genres: Nonfiction, Humor, Memoir, Australia, Comedy, Audiobook, Biography

320 pages, Paperback

First published October 1, 2005

About the author

Tony Martin was born in Te Kuiti, New Zealand, in 1964. He was implicated in such projects as The D-Generation, The Late Show, Martin/Molloy, Get This and, more recently, ABC1’s A Quiet Word. He is the author of Lolly Scramble and A Nest of Occasionals. He lives in Melbourne and enjoys writing about himself in the third person.

Reviews

[B. R. Kyle (Ambiguous Pieces) · Rating 5 out of 5]

For as long as I can remember, my older brother has been quoting Martin/Molloy’s comedy sketches. He did this so often, for my mother’s amusement, that as a child I could often parrot large chunks of it as well.

At the time, I understood very little of the content and quickly discovered that impersonating accents will never be my forte.

It would only be years later that I would realise the connection between “Tim and Phil” and Tony Martin, as well as other members of the D-Generation.

I easily gravitated towards The Late Show (Champaign Edition), the Get This comedy radio program,Thank God You’re Here, and Tony Martin’s online column called 'Scarcely Relevant' at The Scrivener's Fancy. I particularly loved his article on Lee Childs.

One of my favourite comedy sketches is Tony Martin’s “The Good Scissors” routine on The Late Show and his memoir Lolly Scramble is essentially a book version of that.

Tony Martin has the amazing ability that all brilliant comedians have: the ability to look at a society, observe a certain type of mannerism or behaviour, then question why that behaviour exists.

Even though Tony Martin and I grew up in very different time-periods, it was interesting to see just how many things both of us were familiar with, such as the family power dynamics of divorced parents, passbook accounts, Skippy the Bush Kangaroo, and Kerning.

But I must confess, it was the things I had never experienced myself that I found to be the most entertaining. Such as Tony Martin’s forays into Amateur Theatre and the various boarding houses he lived at.

My favourite chapter was “The Yeti”, Gunter was hilarious, and strangely relatable. Unfortunately, hoarding is a family trait, and I too have a large collection of jars for “Puddin schtoof in.”

Overall, an awesome book I would gladly recommend. I usually buy a copy of it annually to give to friends and relatives.

[Yrinsyde · Rating 5 out of 5]

I laughed so much reading martin's autobiography!! His stories of growing up in New Zealand reminded me so much of my own childhood (although I grew up in Melbourne AU). 'Badmin Admin' .... I fell about!! Oh gosh. For anyone who is a fan of Degeneration and/or Mick Molloy's and Martin's comic films, this is a must read.

[Kris McCracken · Rating 5 out of 5]

First things first: Tony Martin's "Lolly Scramble" is very funny. From the very first page, Martin's singular ability to turn even the most mundane or dramatic moments into laugh-out-loud anecdotes is nothing less than prodigious. His storytelling is a gift that keeps on giving, transforming awkward encounters and theatrical mishaps into narratives brimming with wit, irreverence, and charm.

The book is packed with Martin's trademark self-deprecating humour, and it's in these moments that he truly shines. His recounting of a theatrical disaster is a highlight, imbued with farcical energy. His vivid descriptions place you right there in the thick of it, helplessly laughing along as the disaster unravels in a spectacularly absurd fashion.

While the laughs are plentiful throughout, the final chapter takes things to another level. It's an emotional ride that swings from uproarious humour to moments of introspection, only to land squarely back on a note of pure comedic brilliance. By the end, you're left marvelling at Martin's dexterity in balancing humour with heart, making you laugh and reflect in equal measure.

⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

[Jason McCracken · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tony Martin tells funny stories of his childhood and early 20's. Fan's know what to expect but I doubt others would be too interested.

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

So for the past fifteen years or so Tony Martin has insisted the main reason there hasn't been an audiobook of his "memoir of little consequence" was because he couldn't do a Geordie accent.

Turns out he still can't, but it is an incredibly difficult accent to imitate and he makes up for it with his litany of other voices and accents throughout the book.

For those unaware, Tony Martin is a New Zealand born, Australian based comedian, writer, director (when the films are allowed to be released) and radio show host (when the show isn't cancelled for being too popular or something?). I've known him since I saw him as a kid in "The Late Show" VHS tapes, and became a fan during his short lived "Get This" radio show on an otherwise appalling radio station. Who would have thought a show with sketches about politicians, transformers and donkey courtrooms wouldn't last wedged between Nickelback songs and footy shows?

Here Martin focuses on the less show-business side of things, recalling events from his childhood, his multiple step- and half-siblings, as well as Larry David style run-ins with doctors, chiropractors and notary publics.

I've read the book several times over the years but I feel like the audiobook is the most fitting way of experiencing these stories. I might have to go off and relisten to "Get This" for the eleventh or twelfth time, at least while I wait for him to record "Nest of Occasionals".

[Bustagroovy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I remember really enjoying this book 15 years ago and when I saw it had now also been recorded as an audiobook I had to go around again. The voices and accents make it so much better. Recently I had to drop my car off at the autoelectrician's and will now have a lasting memory of walking home 45 minutes in torrential rain without an umbrella, laughing out loud listening to the story of the Yeti. Brilliant.

[A · Rating 4 out of 5]

The last story felt like the darkest, but also its last few paragraphs were screamingly funny. That seems to encapsulate the book for me. I had the pleasure of seeing Tony Martin at the Factory Theatre last year and I think it was the most densely funny show I'd ever seen. His work is the Samuel Taylor Coleridge definition of poetry (and in some cases, pooetry).

[Noreen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really like Tony Martin, he's a funny guy.
I enjoyed his book but not as much as I do him in person.

[Andy Lou · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this. Just read it. For full effect go for Audio book too.

[Wendy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely hilarious, a delight to listen to.

[Alana · Rating 3 out of 5]

The problem with this book isn't Martin's writing style, which is aptly genius, especially when it comes to descriptions. It's not due to the length of stories, or the number. It's not due to the sarcasm meter being filled to the brim or the swearometer being smashed. It's just that Martin's stories are not very interesting and therefore not very funny. Although it's obvious strange things have happened to him and he's met some unusual people, he is purposefully avoiding talking about his life with comedy, and therefore Mick Molloy, and when you strip his fame and occupation away from his life he just becomes an everydayman. And everydaymen don't lead interesting lives. That's why they're called everydaymen.
Though relatable, it's just not that good.

[Derelict Space Sheep · Rating 4 out of 5]

42 WORD REVIEW:

The best comedians are those whose humour derives from perspective. Kiwi turned Aussie Tony Martin is one such person, shunning the celebrity world to glean amusement from his everyday life. (Read aloud, his recounting of an amateur theatre mishap becomes life-threateningly funny.)

[Penfold Hamster · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you are a fan of Tony Martin (Through the Late Show, Martin/Molloy and especially Get This) this little memoir will put a lot into context. I love his humour but understand it isn't to everyone's taste. Read the book not the audio book.

[Donna · Rating 3 out of 5]

A lot of fun, his humour shines through. Had me in hysterics at least once.

[Nick · Rating 4 out of 5]

I tolds ya. Clint should be kerned right and Skippy goes mental.

[Kari · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great book written in typical Tony Martin style. A few funny anecdotes about seemingly normal events - my favourite is the video on the bus story!

[Eta]

witty book...enjoying it so far! Love the Kiwi humour!!! :)

[Iva]

Will read soon

[Meredith Walker · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very funny. loved that each chapter was a different story so it was easy to read a bit her or there. Made me want to watch Spinal Tap.

[Forest Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

From terribly sad to wildly hilarious, I've re-read this several times.

[Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely hilarious all the way through

[Kinjal Sharma-khanna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hilarious!! A wonderful journey which gives you an insight into the becomings of a great comedian. I loved the skippy story!

[Christine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny read. Enjoyed his stories especially when he was diagnosed with a blood disorder.

[Vanessa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funniest book I've ever read.

[Ben Baker · Rating 5 out of 5]

A wonderful revisting of his older book by one of the funniest people in the world. Bit of a trigger warning for those who find needles a tad squirmy, mind.

[Irfan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Extremely underrated comic from New Zealand. And a superb writer. A must read.

[indy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tony's anecdotes are very funny, and had me laughing aloud on the train, at home and in the work lunch room. The 'slipping in chuck' bit, for some reason, sent me into an unstoppable giggle loop.

[Beau Johnston · Rating 4 out of 5]

An entertaining read about the life that turned Tony into the comedian he is today. I've always enjoyed Tony's sense of humour because it's relatable.

[Lyn Ryan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Unsurprisingly, Tony Martin's humour pervades this memoir. If you like him, you'll find this an entertaining read. Of little consequence...by his own reckoning.

[Benjamin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tony Martin's done it again!