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Broken Heart, Shared Heart, Healing Heart: Navigating the Loss of Your Pet
Experiencing the death of a beloved pet can be profoundly difficult, and it can be challenging to find real support and comfort during this time. Where do you turn? Written by Barbara Allen, creator of a groundbreaking chaplaincy program in the largest animal hospital in the southern hemisphere, Broken Heart, Shared Heart, Healing Heart acknowledges the deep pain that pet loss causes and offers gentle guidance on how to navigate this difficult time. Grounded in practical advice and research that pet owners can draw on for real help for their broken hearts, this book offers strategies for honoring loss and our own grieving process. We will also see that we are not alone in our grief and how we process it as Allen introduces us to famous people and their pets and explores how pets have been memorialized in various cultures, including through prayers, funeral and burial services, condolence cards, and mourning jewelry. Inevitably, those experiencing the death of a pet will ask about the afterlife of animals. Will they meet their beloved companion again? Allen explores long-held teachings in religious traditions--Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, and especially her own, Christian tradition--to look for answers, comfort, and reassurance. With this holistic and useful approach, you'll find the support you need for navigating your grief, meaningful ways to memorialize your beloved pet, and the spiritual and emotional care you need during this tender time.
- GenresSelf Help
176 pages, Hardcover
Published June 25, 2024
About the author
Barbara Allen
80 books7 followersLibrarian Note: There is more than one author in the GoodReads database with this name.
Violet Vivian Finlay was born on 2 January 1914 in Berkshire, England, UK, the daughter of Alice Kathleen (née Norton) and Sir Campbell Kirkman Finlay. Her father was the owner and director of Burmah Oil Company Ltd., whose Scottish family also owned James Finlay and Company Ltd. The majority of her childhood and youth was spent in Rangoon, Burma (now also known as Myanmar), where her father worked. During her life, she frequently journeyed between India, Singapore, Java and Sumatra.
Although Vivian is well-known by the surname of Stuart, she married four times during her lifetime, and had five children: Gillian Rushton (née Porch), Kim Santow, Jennifer Gooch (née Stuart), and twins Vary and Valerie Stuart.
Following the dissolution of her first marriage, she studied for a time Law in London in the mid 1930s, before decided studied Medicine at the University of London. Later she spent time in Hungary in the capacity of private tutor in English, while she obtained a pathologist qualification at the University of Budapest in 1938. In 1939, she emigrated to Australia with her second husband, a Hungarian Doctor Geza Santow with whom she worked. In 1942, she obtained a diploma in industrial chemistry and laboratory technique at Technical Institute of Newcastle. Having earned an ambulance driver's certificate, she joined the Australian Forces at the Women's Auxiliary Service during World War II. She was attached to the IVth Army, and raised to the rank of sergeant, she was posted to British XIV Army in Rangoon, Burma in October 1945, and was then transferred to Sumatra in December. After the WWII, she returned to England. On 24 October 1958, she married her fourth and last husband, Cyril William Mann, a bank manager.
She was a prolific writer from 1953 to 1986 under diferent pseudonyms: Vivian Stuart, Alex Stuart, Barbara Allen, Fiona Finlay, V. A. Stuart, William Stuart Long and Robyn Stuart. Many of her novels were protagonized by doctors or nurses, and set in Asia, Australia or other places she had visited. Her romance novel, Gay Cavalier published in 1955 as Alex Stuart got her into trouble with her Mills & Boon editors when she featured a secondary story line featuring a Catholic male and Protestant female who chose to marry. This so-called "mixed marriage" touched nerves in the United Kingdom.
In 1960, she was a founder of the Romantic Novelists' Association, along with Denise Robins, Barbara Cartland, and others; she was elected the first Chairman (1961-1963). In 1970, she became the first woman to chair Swanwick Writers' Summer School.
Violet Vivian Finlay Porch Santow Stuart Mann passed away on August 1986 in Yorkshire, at age 72. She continued writing until her death.
Violet Vivian Finlay was born on 2 January 1914 in Berkshire, England, UK, the daughter of Alice Kathleen (née Norton) and Sir Campbell Kirkman Finlay. Her father was the owner and director of Burmah Oil Company Ltd., whose Scottish family also owned James Finlay and Company Ltd. The majority of her childhood and youth was spent in Rangoon, Burma (now also known as Myanmar), where her father worked. During her life, she frequently journeyed between India, Singapore, Java and Sumatra.
Although Vivian is well-known by the surname of Stuart, she married four times during her lifetime, and had five children: Gillian Rushton (née Porch), Kim Santow, Jennifer Gooch (née Stuart), and twins Vary and Valerie Stuart.
Following the dissolution of her first marriage, she studied for a time Law in London in the mid 1930s, before decided studied Medicine at the University of London. Later she spent time in Hungary in the capacity of private tutor in English, while she obtained a pathologist qualification at the University of Budapest in 1938. In 1939, she emigrated to Australia with her second husband, a Hungarian Doctor Geza Santow with whom she worked. In 1942, she obtained a diploma in industrial chemistry and laboratory technique at Technical Institute of Newcastle. Having earned an ambulance driver's certificate, she joined the Australian Forces at the Women's Auxiliary Service during World War II. She was attached to the IVth Army, and raised to the rank of sergeant, she was posted to British XIV Army in Rangoon, Burma in October 1945, and was then transferred to Sumatra in December. After the WWII, she returned to England. On 24 October 1958, she married her fourth and last husband, Cyril William Mann, a bank manager.
She was a prolific writer from 1953 to 1986 under diferent pseudonyms: Vivian Stuart, Alex Stuart, Barbara Allen, Fiona Finlay, V. A. Stuart, William Stuart Long and Robyn Stuart. Many of her novels were protagonized by doctors or nurses, and set in Asia, Australia or other places she had visited. Her romance novel, Gay Cavalier published in 1955 as Alex Stuart got her into trouble with her Mills & Boon editors when she featured a secondary story line featuring a Catholic male and Protestant female who chose to marry. This so-called "mixed marriage" touched nerves in the United Kingdom.
In 1960, she was a founder of the Romantic Novelists' Association, along with Denise Robins, Barbara Cartland, and others; she was elected the first Chairman (1961-1963). In 1970, she became the first woman to chair Swanwick Writers' Summer School.
Violet Vivian Finlay Porch Santow Stuart Mann passed away on August 1986 in Yorkshire, at age 72. She continued writing until her death.
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
June 21, 2025
Beautifully written, Barbara. Your experience in the animal hospital, your work as a chaplain, and your deeply compassionate nature make you uniquely suited to write on this topic—and the result is truly outstanding.
June 17, 2024
If you’ve ever had a pet, then most likely you’ve had to navigate the loss of that pet. The human lifespan is immense in comparison to the natural lifespans of most domesticated animals and our proclivity to love also means a proclivity for loss—we will, if we allow a pet into our lives, eventually inevitably have to navigate its loss. Broken Heart, Shared Heart, Healing Heart is a compassionate guide for navigating the grief that comes with such a loss, written by Barbara Allen—Australia’s first animal hospital chaplain.
Allen is an ordained pastor in Australia’s Uniting Church, volunteers with an organization that uses dogs to help children become confident readers, and is daily engaged as a chaplain helping folks deal with the loss of a pet. As such, she’s the perfect person—professionally and personally—to help readers sit with their grief, offering a blend of personal anecdotes, cultural insights, and practical advice aimed at providing solace during a difficult time.
The book is structured into several sections, each addressing different aspects of pet loss and grief. The first section introduces readers to the concept of grieving for a pet, emphasizing the validity and depth of such grief. There’s an old-school mentality that animals are just animals and we shouldn’t feel as deeply about them as we do and while that mentality is passing away in most places, there can still be a vestige of shame about grieving the death of a pet. Allen assures us that grief is natural—even holy—as it stems from love and from God’s mandate for creation care.
The second section covers the natural question that follows the death of a pet: “Do pets go to heaven?” Allen writes that in her role as a chaplain at an animal hospital, this theological question comes mostly from the ‘unchurched’ and she sees that question as part of a deeper question about the crux of faith and belief. If there is a God and a heaven, and if God is love, then my pet must be there, right? Allen explores different faith traditions and their various but all kind of similar perspectives. This is probably the most technical part of the book and, if you’re actively navigating a pet loss, you may not want to read all of it—just the parts that pertain to your faith tradition—but I found it interesting (and assuring) that all people across all religions have navigated this question.
Allen also includes a section aimed specifically at children, helping them to see their grief. And then Broken Heart, Shared Heart, Healing Heart concludes with a number of practical things that one can do to process grief and begin the process of healing.
In conclusion, Broken Heart, Shared Heart, Healing Heart is a valuable resource for anyone grieving the loss of a pet. You may end up with a few people who are annoyed that the book isn’t strictly from a Christian perspective, but the role of a chaplain is to be inclusive of all faiths and that is the role Allen functions within in this book. Her empathetic writing and comprehensive exploration of grief provide both comfort and practical advice. For anyone grappling with the loss of a pet, Allen's book offers a compassionate and reassuring guide through the grieving process.
Allen is an ordained pastor in Australia’s Uniting Church, volunteers with an organization that uses dogs to help children become confident readers, and is daily engaged as a chaplain helping folks deal with the loss of a pet. As such, she’s the perfect person—professionally and personally—to help readers sit with their grief, offering a blend of personal anecdotes, cultural insights, and practical advice aimed at providing solace during a difficult time.
The book is structured into several sections, each addressing different aspects of pet loss and grief. The first section introduces readers to the concept of grieving for a pet, emphasizing the validity and depth of such grief. There’s an old-school mentality that animals are just animals and we shouldn’t feel as deeply about them as we do and while that mentality is passing away in most places, there can still be a vestige of shame about grieving the death of a pet. Allen assures us that grief is natural—even holy—as it stems from love and from God’s mandate for creation care.
The second section covers the natural question that follows the death of a pet: “Do pets go to heaven?” Allen writes that in her role as a chaplain at an animal hospital, this theological question comes mostly from the ‘unchurched’ and she sees that question as part of a deeper question about the crux of faith and belief. If there is a God and a heaven, and if God is love, then my pet must be there, right? Allen explores different faith traditions and their various but all kind of similar perspectives. This is probably the most technical part of the book and, if you’re actively navigating a pet loss, you may not want to read all of it—just the parts that pertain to your faith tradition—but I found it interesting (and assuring) that all people across all religions have navigated this question.
Allen also includes a section aimed specifically at children, helping them to see their grief. And then Broken Heart, Shared Heart, Healing Heart concludes with a number of practical things that one can do to process grief and begin the process of healing.
In conclusion, Broken Heart, Shared Heart, Healing Heart is a valuable resource for anyone grieving the loss of a pet. You may end up with a few people who are annoyed that the book isn’t strictly from a Christian perspective, but the role of a chaplain is to be inclusive of all faiths and that is the role Allen functions within in this book. Her empathetic writing and comprehensive exploration of grief provide both comfort and practical advice. For anyone grappling with the loss of a pet, Allen's book offers a compassionate and reassuring guide through the grieving process.
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December 8, 2025Really could use an editor but hey I needed to read something about pet grief and was there
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews